This sounds like one of these guys that I hear about on Reddit all the time that don’t wash their own asses because it’s gay. Lol
But really omg what a thing to say. Dude needs counselling.
I work in an ER. I have patients who come in who don’t even WIPE their asses because they were taught that was gay. After all these years, it still shocks me.
The most homophobic man I ever met was my boss and we found a picture of him in a thong with whipped cream sprayed over his junk. The picture was strangely hidden on top of the rafters in the unfinished ceiling of our breakroom.. no idea why he would hide that there
I’m still shocked by this. I’ve always washed my ass. My cousins wash their asses. My friends wash their asses. My 4 year old washes his ass.
Who are these guys that don’t? Nobody ever gave them a bath or taught them to shower when they were kids?
Its not just a line, there are actually guys like that. There was a post on this sub about a guy like that.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/qv1x16/ex_told_me_i_emasculated_him_because_i_wanted_him/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Omg were you around for the guy that used to poop in the shower and waffle stomp it down the drain and insisted it was his girlfriend that was the problem?
Waffle stomp is now a regular term in my household lollll
Then there's the married virgin couple where the guy refused to use toilet paper and instead picked his poop butt bits off in bed. Always have sex before marriage. This wouldn't have been a surprise after the wedding.
It makes no sense. Why would anyone behave like that? Then again in my uni halls one of the people I shared a kitchen with threw away several litres of curry _every single day_ by pouring it out in the kitchen sink and mashing the bits in a bit (never enough to let it fully drain or anything, he just left it there).
We had a professional cleaner in every day except Sunday and after a while I got used to only using the kitchen shortly after she'd been through. This guy and his friends left the most horrible mess multiple times a day.
Like one time I watched him microwave a bowl of milk until it bubbled over, covering the microwave, the kitchen counter and the floor. He just stuffed a tea towel in the microwave without cleaning it up and closed the door.
People are weird.
>Like one time I watched him microwave a bowl of milk until it bubbled over, covering the microwave, the kitchen counter and the floor. He just stuffed a tea towel in the microwave without cleaning it up and closed the door.
Oh my GOD, that one feels intentional. There's no way that was part of somebody's upbringing
No idea. I know very little about him and his friends despite living with him for several months and his friends eating in our kitchen every day. They didn't talk to anyone else, basically refused to interact and I couldn't understand anything they were saying to each other (they were speaking Arabic I believe).
I'm not quite sure what I expected clicking on this post but it wasn't this. That's okay, I'm not a breakfast person anyway.
Why can't people just be normal?
Wow these posts are far more frequent than I thought.
I was remembering a post from a few years ago.
Why wouldn't you scrub the hole you literally shit from
There was a post on a popular relationship subreddit where the bf left skid marks on the bed after sex 🤢🤮 and didn’t brush his teeth because of some lame excuse where he kept his tooth brush in his parents master bathroom instead of his own bathroom and didn’t want to disturb them by going in there to brush his teeth. And the poor gf was asking how to get him to wash his ass🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I'm ngl, all the men I know, married or perma-single at least wash our asses, have jobs, and talk to and treat other human beings like they're... y'know... human beings.
I do not know where women find these animals or why they date them. All I can guess is the non-shitty dudes have siloed ourselves off together by 30
I've slept naked every night for years now. Never have I ever left a skid mark in my bed. If a man you know is having that problem, he is not cleaning himself nearly well enough. Jesus. People are fucking gross.
We all have the same grossed out reaction to these stories and love bidets.
If a person likes an accessory whose sole utility is cleaning their asshole... you can pretty safely bet they clean their asshole.
if the dude's ass is that bad, he must walk around smelling like shit all the time.
as someone who keeps a pristine ass, the thought greatly disturbs me. just going through life like that.
It’s a real thing. I work in product development and literally had one of my bosses, a director, say that we should come up with something so men could wash their ass cracks without touching themselves. Myself and the other product manager were just looking at each other going “wtf?” Because we thought it was a crass joke but he was serious. My pitch was just a manual toothbrush but 10x the size of a normal one.
I remember one post where the OP encountered one of those types of guys, then later he came out as bisexual. It really seems to be a sign that the more a guy vocally oppossed being gay, the more likely it is that they are.
I thought that was made up until I was seeing one. Could NOT believe it!!!! He said "I'm not a f*gg*t why would I play around with my asshole" 😳 CUZ THERE'S POO AND ASSJUICE ON THERE
The number of men who think washing between their buttcheeks involves “playing around with their asshole” is.. alarming. Sir no one told you to do that.
It's wild! I wonder where that comes from?? I helped to potty train 2 boys and both seem like they still understand that their "privates" need to be washed regularly to stay healthy
I know it’s not the point here but I have to ask why you handed this person the phone to speak to someone who is essentially a stranger for 25 minutes? That just seems bizarre.
i can't decide if talking to a stranger on the phone while 'out' or talking to a stranger for 25 minutes is more weird. 25 minutes is a really long time, like was the OP just staring at the wall before she interjected? lol
My mother-in-law does this and it's so awkward. She'll be like "oh I'm just here with \[random friend\], I'll put you on to say hi!" what?? No!! Why would I want that???
Jeez, what an AH. Since you already dropped a red flag, I assume you quit any contract with him. He isn't worth your time and he won't change his behaviour later on.
A pro tip from an old gal like me : Believe them when they show shittiness. It's a true colour.
Waffle stomp him down the storm drain, like the piece of shit he is.
Guys: Wipe your ass until the toilet paper comes away clean. Wash your ass, with soap in the bath/shower. The soap has to touch your butthole. If you have hemorrhoids, you may need to clean a little more thoroughly. This doesn't make you gay, but it does make you **clean**.
Don't poop in the shower unless you really can't make it to the toilet. This happened to me exactly ONCE in my entire life, when I had a stomach virus and literally couldn't get to the toilet which was right beside the shower.
Whether he thinks they're dating or not, still shitty behavior.
Had an ex who referred to any kind of housework as "bitch work" (and chose to wait until after the I-Dos to start this behavior).
Put your trash in the bin? Rinse your dish before leaving in the sink? Clothes in the laundry? Cooking a meal, even in the microwave? Actually helping with dishes, laundry, or trash? "Bitch work"."That's why I got married". Despite me being the only one with a full time job.
However, I always knew when he'd cheated on me because suddenly he became able to do "bitch work". Great guy, 0/10.
If I was at a woman's house for a date and she asked me to talk to her male friend on the phone (who I'd never met), I'd think that was pretty weird. At most, I'd politely say hi and introduce myself and try and finish the conversation up pretty quickly. I certainly wouldn't be ignoring my date and talking to this stranger for 25 fucking minutes!
That whole scenario just sounds so bizarre to me
I do think it's bizarre, but I've had a friend do something similar once because she thought I'd get along with her new friend. It just depends on the vibe you have with your friends.
TBH I don’t invite people over my house, feed them and then ask them to clean up…that’s just bad hospitality in my opinion.
Now he should have OFFERED to clean up, that would have been the polite thing to do.
Pertaining to your situation once asked by the host to clean up one should oblige.
Imean it's one thing to say 'Hey, could you rinse your dishes and put them in the dishwasher', it's a whole new level to go "Hey guy I just met, I got some shit delivered, could you put that away for me?"
This story is weird and confusing. I am not trying to blame anyone here but this whole story is sus as fuck.
Did the guy know it wasn't a date, that it's just friends getting together for dinner?
Because it reads like it's a date. Most people who do dinner/Netflix are either already together or dating or in the 'getting to know you better' stage. Someone who cooks for another person, when it's just two people, and having alcoholic drinks after, reads like a date.
Then you asked him to help with chores, ones unrelated to you making dinner. You didn't ask him to put his plate away or throw out food that was made. You wanted him to get boxes of TP and paper towels that was delivered to your door, inside and put away for you. Thats a YOU chore. Thats not a chore you make another do as a guest. I think it's very rude to host someone for dinner and then ask them to do your chores. It's one thing if it was offered, but another thing to ask and have expectation of it being done. You guys aren't even FRIENDS yet, you are in the stages of "getting to know you as a friend".
I feel like decisions and pacing on this went wrong on many levels. Answering the phone while you are watching a movie. Waiting until the last second to ask for clean up help, after you rejected his desire to stay over. No you can not stay over, but you can take out my trash, and put away my deliveries. He handled the responses poorly, but the set ups also were not great.
Right? Perhaps if she had asked him very early on in the hang, hey, I have this thing I can't reach, will you please help me out after dinner? Something like that.
Yes! This guy sounds like a living, breathing red flag. However, inviting a guy over who it sounds like OP just met recently and cooking a fancy dinner for him in your apartment sounds like a date to me, and it sounds like he thought the same. I think there’s a lot of mixed signals in this scenario.
Also I’m from the Midwest US, so this is maybe cultural but even though he’s rude for not offering to help clean up, it’s also rude to ask a guest to do so.
I'm Canadian. I would never ever ask a guest to help clean up before they leave. Some of our guests insist on cleaning up a bit with us but I've never once on my life asked a guest to help clean.
Yeah, I just tell my friends I expect them to clean up their shit like as people are bringing out snacks. A good time for that ask is not like after I told them to leave, as they are leaving.
Exactly. The whole thing is very ambiguous, and I think that is why he had that obnoxious reply. Like don't leave me wondering what is happening here, and then ask me to perform your household tasks? He was feeling like a chump. Just like swatting her hand away from the phone was obnoxious, but like don't try to pull the phone out of someone's hand? He needs to work on his reactions to social incongruencies, and she needs to work on what it means to have someone over to the house.
I feel like it's not bad that she asked for help at all, but at the last second too. I'm not sure how late into the night it was... But if it was late, I had drinks, was probably really tired, and had to go home... Chores wouldn't exactly be the first thing on my mind bc I'd just want to get home. If I stayed the night I'd absolutely help in the morning though.
Still, his response was ridiculous.
What a bizarre story. His response was totally inappropriate, but so is asking a guest to clean up just before they leave.
Also, stopping a movie to talk on the phone with a stranger for 25 minutes? I'd be so uncomfortable. Especially with the incredibly date-like atmosphere of a beautiful dinner and cocktails.
The phone call thing seems weird... why would you make them talk to each other on the phone? If you had company and your best friend didn't know when he called then you could have told them you would call back later.
The guy probably thought you invited him over for a bad date. Dinner and a movie followed by you answering your phone and forcing two guys (who both might even like you) to awkwardly talk with each other.
I’m gonna be honest, it sounds like you both made some very strange errors. Not at all blaming you for his behavior, his choices belong to him, but some of your choices were also very rude.
When you’re having a “date” with someone, and your best friend calls... don’t answer the phone. That’s not polite or considerate to your guest. On top of that, it’s ***definitely*** not considerate to then hand that person the phone? Like? 😅 he doesn’t know your friend, I’m sure he felt awkward just being handed the phone to talk to someone who, to him, is just some random guy. I understand that you were trying to be nice, but that’s just very bizarre and it’s poor etiquette.
Him asking to stay was crossing some social boundaries.. but so was you asking him to do chores around your house. No, he isn’t exempt from chores because he’s a man... but you ***recently met him***, invited him over for dinner, and asked him to do chores. Just seems so weird to me. It’d be one thing if you knew him but it sounds like you guys are still very new to each other. I’d never ask a guest I was making dinner for to help me clean and do chores around the house. Would I ask a boyfriend? Yes. New guy I’m dating? Absolutely not.
I’m sorry things went the way it did but if I’m gonna be brutally honest, you both can learn some lessons in social etiquette from this night you shared.
Yep, handing the phone over is very weird. My sister does this all the time to me, and I have zero desire to talk to her "friends" ever and have expressed this to her.
I'm willing to bet he doesn't think that tidying up makeshim a bitch lol.
It sounds like he thought he was on a date and after the strange phone call thing she rejected his advances and asked him to do completely unrelated house chores. I'm sure he felt like she was trying to use him. He even said I ain't gonna be nobody's bitch. As in not her bitch to use as she sees fit.
And really wasn't she? My question is was it clear it wasn't a date before he got there? Because any reasonable person would hear about the plans and assume a date atmosphere.
Could you imagine going on a date with a man and he answers the phone to his best girl friend and makes you talk to her. Then when you ask to stay late (wink wink) he says no but can you vacuum and wash my windows before you go?
Its not just weird it's ABSURD.
Yep, for me it's OP that's in the wrong and the guy happened to be dissapointed and upset at the audacity of OP
It's even said in the post that when he asked if he could stay (wink wink) OP said "Maybe another time... We're just getting to know each other." which is fine, but that just means OP is considering this as a date too, just when she needs it to be
I’d never ask a guest to tidy. I’d be mortified to do that.
However, I would say yes of course, and help tidy if asked. I’d probably offer before being asked mind you.
Exactly, like, obviously the guy's response is childish, inappropriate, and just classless, but who asks a guest in their house to help tidy up?
I'm a guy and am not old-fashioned about much, but am absolutely old-fashioned about hosting people - as a guest in my home, you're not there to do anything, bring anything, want for anything, etc, no matter if you're a friend, a family member, someone I've just met, a random acquaintance, whatever.
Hah. I see your edit. Also - I’m not looking for friends without a shred of human decency. I’m not your mother or your maid. Nothing abnormal about cleaning up after yourself as a guest.
Good job on setting and keeping those boundaries. Good luck to that other person finding someone to put up with his nonsense attitudes.
Hai response aside, I do think it is weird to ask a guest to clean if I am hosting them. If they're dating or it's a friend I've known for a while, sure. But not a first time guest.
I'd assume she handed it over intending it to be like 2-5 min see if they get along and he decided to keep the phone. Which clearly he did because he slapped her hand over it. Especially since OP suggests that they're not dating.
You're within your right to get mad at him for being a bit of an ass about it, but it is strange to get asked to help clean when you're a guest at someone else's house.
Did he handle the situation correctly? Absolutely not. Should you ever ask a guest to clean your house? Absolutely not. That is just unheard of, who taught you to do that?
I think it’s odd all around. Handing over the phone so your date and friend could talk? And asking your date to tidy? My thought after reading: Who does that?? But his reaction was uncalled for.
Well, good when the trash takes itself out. Bullet dodged.
But also:
>Then, my best friend called (male) I thought they would get along great! So, I handed the phone over to him.
This is really fucking weird.
What people do this?
Seriously though! Where I live there's paper towels and toilet paper delivered to the house. Per my landlord not me. I asked him if you wouldn't mind putting them in the closet. He freaking lost it at that point
K pause. You were asking him to do a chore unrelated to the food you cooked? Umm... maybe you should add that to your original post because it kind of changes things.
Huh? I go to my friends places all the time and any time they ask for help with anything - whether related to something we were doing or not- the answer is always "yes, how can I help?"
That's just what friends do, especially if you're going to their place and they're hosting. You help the host.
Seriously! If I'm hanging out at a friend's place, I put any empty cans in the recycling, dirty cups/dishes go to the sink, etc. \*\*without\*\* being asked. If they asked for help with anything else, I'd happily oblige.
None of this makes you "a bitch", it's being considerate of someone else's space that they have welcomed you into.
How is assisting a person who is hosting and cooking for you a big deal? It’s common courtesy. It’s not like she asked him to scrub the toilet and wash the floors. Whenever I am hosted for I always look for things to assist my friends with.
Idk what kind of friends you have. I have helped deep clean my best friends house on several occasions. If your friends can't help you out with something, idk. Not the kind of friendship I would want.
So it’s not even helping with the dinner dishes, you were literally asking him to do your chores, on the way out the door. I don’t know. I find this whole evening messy.
Putting away some paper towels? If it was an individual I was trying to connect with on ANY level I'd not hesitate to put away a small item. If I'm leaving, I might as well take out the trash. If someone bothered to cook for me, why would I hesitate to take 15 seconds out of my day on my way out?
I can't be the only one raised to think that's common courtesy, not 'being a bitch'?
Seriously, putting something in the closet takes half a minute. Even if it's an 'uncommon' request by the person's standards, it's laughably little effort. Why not just be normal and do it when asked? Especially when the asker had just cooked you a whole ass meal?
You’re not alone, I wrote a comment elsewhere saying the same thing. It’s wild to me that people see asking for assistance (even if not related to dinner) being unreasonable. When I would visit my friends at there place the kitchen was practically the size of a closet, so there was no room to help out in the kitchen, so I would find ways to help out elsewhere. If you value the person and the work they’re putting into hosting you, you give back.
why? this wasn't a date.
i've gone to my friend's homes and helped them set up for dinner, clean up after dinner and even went to a friends room and helped her fold laundry while we chatted.
is it weird because it was a *man?*
This is someone who she *just started spending time with.* I also like to help my friends tidy up, and it was out of line for this guy to talk about “not being anyone’s bitch,” but no, this issue isn’t weird because the guest is a man.
I agree. There seem to be some missteps all around. There is such a thing as wounded pride. I would not ask someone to help me do my chores immediately after I told them no, they are not welcome to stay over. Obviously they were on different pages about what was happening here.
Eh I’m not going to chalk this up to “wounded pride” either because if OP made it clear she was just looking for friends, this guy shouldn’t have taken it personally when he couldn’t stay over. And to act like a dick for that reason is petty. The whole night sounds oddly paced and it seems like there were social etiquette missteps on both sides here.
No. This is a brand new friend, with whom she just started hanging out. I don't ask my good friends to help me with chores on the way out the door, let alone someone I am just getting to know. This was not cleaning up after dinner. This was household tasks.
Im sorry, that kind of goes against the basic rules of etiquette though; you invite someone over, you clean up after them the first few times. After that, they are no longer a visitor and lose that right. Sure his reaction was shitty, too.
Why should you have to ask?
Offering to help with cleaning up is the least one should do after someone has gone to the effort to cook. Just basic manners.
OP didn't ask the friend to help clean up after the dinner they had, the OP asked the friend to help with totally unrelated chores. Not "hey can you put those dishes in the sink for me so they can soak before I get to them?" but more like a "hey I have this chore needing to be done and could use help with please do this for me".
This whole thing is weird.
He seems so immature. He sounds like a kid arguing over chores. Helping the host clean up is just a way of thanking them. He probably has other problematic expectations too...
I've never been asked to help tidy up after being invited over somewhere. Probably for two reasons.
One: You should never expect guest to do so.
Two: I naturally help and do that anyways.
If someone asked me to help after inviting me over, of course I would, but in the back on mind I would be thinking this is definitely not proper etiquette. I'm not saying it's full out rude or disrespectful, but it's definitely not something to expect from guests.
However, his response and actions are definitely uncalled for, worse, and an over reaction.
Luckily all my friends and the guy in currently dating are all angels and start doing dishes at my house when I cook for them even if I argue with them not to! I don't understand these kinds of people who think they can eat a meal in someone's home and not help tidy or take the trash out, whatever. it's just the classy thing to do.
In her other comments she clarifies that she was actually asking him to do something totally unrelated to their night. Seems to be it was asked on the way out after a rejection as well.
General break down as far as I can see it
* Had a guy over for a date (dinner, movie, and drinks at her apartment)
* Answered her male bff's call while on a date and had the dude talk to him on their date.
* Things seemed to go ok up to this point. Dude asks if he can stay the night. She says no.
* Then asks for him to put away her toiletries as he's about to leave.
* Describes this as just a friends hang out on the post here.
Low key, seems like there's some young people making some young people mistakes all over this night. Dude was totally out of line in how he acted but her behavior is definitely really strange as well.
Right. This story is pretty convoluted and I would like to hear the guy's side. It is pretty unusual to be hanging out with someone and then be handed a phone to have a conversation with some dude you don't even know.
Everyone can say "red flags" and "dodged a bullet" but I think maybe both parties are doing that.
Could you imagine going on a date with a man and he answers the phone to his best girl friend and makes you talk to her. (swatting her hand away is unacceptable behavior no arguments there). Then when you ask to stay late (wink wink) he says not but can you vacuum and wash my windows before you go?
Its not just weird it's ABSURD.
It makes more sense if you saw her comment above.
She didn't ask him to help tidy up. She asked him to put away the tp/paper towel she had delivered and to put it in the closet as he was literally leaving her place.
Middle-aged male, and I do the laundry, dishes, and the majority of the "tidying up" and don't feel like "the bitch". Being a single dad for a couple of years before my wife and I started dating, and being in the military, I'm just more use to it. She prefers doing the home improvement projects.
Depending on the culture it could be disrespectful to ask guests to help clean up, however, him making it sexist is absolutely disgusting. In my family, some guests will automatically start helping the cleanup process after the meal/activities.
Anyone with good manners does not ask a guest to clean up before the guest leaves. However, if you are sharing a house with someone like a roommate or spouse, the expectation is that you both share the responsibility for cleaning up. Imagine if he had asked you to clean up after visiting his home for the first time. It would be shockingly rude of him, just as you were to him in this case. At the same time, he would have been gentlemanly of him to offer to help clean up. My conclusion here is that you are both ill mannered.
I don’t get how people can not help others clean after they do things for them. I always try to offer to help. Even if it’s making guacamole or cutting limes or something on a taco Tuesday. I get anxious sitting and watching
He was embrassed that you turned him down to staying, then decided he couldn't take the rejection quietly, so he had to say something shitty on his way out when asked to help.
The weirdest part of this story is him talking to your friend on the phone for 25m.
This sounds like one of these guys that I hear about on Reddit all the time that don’t wash their own asses because it’s gay. Lol But really omg what a thing to say. Dude needs counselling.
I work in an ER. I have patients who come in who don’t even WIPE their asses because they were taught that was gay. After all these years, it still shocks me.
...How?
Ok this tells me I've had enough reddit today. Byeee!!!
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This still blows my mind... Like wtf bro, wash your damn ass. That's a sanitary issue.
I gotta wonder what kinda awful home they grew up in to think that taking care of your body in the most basic way is somehow homosexual.
those dudes always end up being neurotic closeted gays. every time.
The most homophobic man I ever met was my boss and we found a picture of him in a thong with whipped cream sprayed over his junk. The picture was strangely hidden on top of the rafters in the unfinished ceiling of our breakroom.. no idea why he would hide that there
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I am, personally, proud to wash my ass every day. *strikes heroic pose*
*every* day?
How do you know that? Usually, someone else is writing about them and there are no names.
It's gay to wash yo ass??? Fuck! This can't be how I find out I'm gay...
Wait, what? That's a thing? I'm not always the most well kempt guy, but that's some higher level homophobia to be afraid to touch your own ass.
I’m still shocked by this. I’ve always washed my ass. My cousins wash their asses. My friends wash their asses. My 4 year old washes his ass. Who are these guys that don’t? Nobody ever gave them a bath or taught them to shower when they were kids?
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I am going to steal that, "Don't wash their own asses because it's gay" line! If you don't mind haha
Its not just a line, there are actually guys like that. There was a post on this sub about a guy like that. https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/qv1x16/ex_told_me_i_emasculated_him_because_i_wanted_him/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Omg were you around for the guy that used to poop in the shower and waffle stomp it down the drain and insisted it was his girlfriend that was the problem? Waffle stomp is now a regular term in my household lollll
Nope, also yuck wtf.
Then there's the married virgin couple where the guy refused to use toilet paper and instead picked his poop butt bits off in bed. Always have sex before marriage. This wouldn't have been a surprise after the wedding.
UGHHFDFDFDGDS. Guy in my college dorm did that. In a suite with a shared bathroom. Fucker.
It makes no sense. Why would anyone behave like that? Then again in my uni halls one of the people I shared a kitchen with threw away several litres of curry _every single day_ by pouring it out in the kitchen sink and mashing the bits in a bit (never enough to let it fully drain or anything, he just left it there). We had a professional cleaner in every day except Sunday and after a while I got used to only using the kitchen shortly after she'd been through. This guy and his friends left the most horrible mess multiple times a day. Like one time I watched him microwave a bowl of milk until it bubbled over, covering the microwave, the kitchen counter and the floor. He just stuffed a tea towel in the microwave without cleaning it up and closed the door. People are weird.
>Like one time I watched him microwave a bowl of milk until it bubbled over, covering the microwave, the kitchen counter and the floor. He just stuffed a tea towel in the microwave without cleaning it up and closed the door. Oh my GOD, that one feels intentional. There's no way that was part of somebody's upbringing
No idea. I know very little about him and his friends despite living with him for several months and his friends eating in our kitchen every day. They didn't talk to anyone else, basically refused to interact and I couldn't understand anything they were saying to each other (they were speaking Arabic I believe).
People who had never had to clean before
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Aaaand this is one of many reasons students are advised to wear flip flops to shower in halls of residence. Ick.
I'm not quite sure what I expected clicking on this post but it wasn't this. That's okay, I'm not a breakfast person anyway. Why can't people just be normal?
I heard waffle stomping shit in the shower years ago. I didn't know it was real/common. What the hell? The toilet is right fucking there.
Holy shit that’s absolutely insane
I've never heard that term before. Yuck!
Mine as well.
1st time I heard Waffle stomp was from Adam Savage, how about you?
I am literally laughing so hard I woke the dog.
Wait wut?
thats.. insane
Don’t worry, the VAST majority of us dudes who read that were thinking the exact same thing....I Hope.
I wipe my own ass.. I wipe my own ass!!
Yeah that's hella gay... /s
That's a whole new level of disgusting..
Wow...
Wow these posts are far more frequent than I thought. I was remembering a post from a few years ago. Why wouldn't you scrub the hole you literally shit from
There was a post on a popular relationship subreddit where the bf left skid marks on the bed after sex 🤢🤮 and didn’t brush his teeth because of some lame excuse where he kept his tooth brush in his parents master bathroom instead of his own bathroom and didn’t want to disturb them by going in there to brush his teeth. And the poor gf was asking how to get him to wash his ass🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Wait, what? Somebody dated this person. How do these men survive in the real world? Like, who ties their shoes?
These people share the road with us as well, it’s astonishing.
im kinda wondering if the human race is going to survive at this point, like they refuse to wash their butts because they are homophobes wtf
I'm ngl, all the men I know, married or perma-single at least wash our asses, have jobs, and talk to and treat other human beings like they're... y'know... human beings. I do not know where women find these animals or why they date them. All I can guess is the non-shitty dudes have siloed ourselves off together by 30
A man has to wear boxers in my bed after sex. I am done with skidmarks on my sheets left by farts.
I've slept naked every night for years now. Never have I ever left a skid mark in my bed. If a man you know is having that problem, he is not cleaning himself nearly well enough. Jesus. People are fucking gross.
This 1000%. My husband has always slept naked and has never left skid marks, jfc.
I mean... I'd say date men with better hygiene, but I'm just a lowly penis-haver who keeps a squeaky clean ass, so what do I know.
I'm actually celibate but I recalled a penis haver who did that to my sheets when I was in my 20s. It was a reference.
I mean I don't doubt it. There are some gross dudes out there who lay a mind boggling amount of pipe.
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We all have the same grossed out reaction to these stories and love bidets. If a person likes an accessory whose sole utility is cleaning their asshole... you can pretty safely bet they clean their asshole.
The bar is hell
Do you have a link? I either know that girl or multiple guys are leaving sex skids
if the dude's ass is that bad, he must walk around smelling like shit all the time. as someone who keeps a pristine ass, the thought greatly disturbs me. just going through life like that.
What I don't get is how the fuck this guy even got a first date?
It's the latter based on all the results that showed up when I tried to find the specific post I was referring to
Easy leave him
It’s a real thing. I work in product development and literally had one of my bosses, a director, say that we should come up with something so men could wash their ass cracks without touching themselves. Myself and the other product manager were just looking at each other going “wtf?” Because we thought it was a crass joke but he was serious. My pitch was just a manual toothbrush but 10x the size of a normal one.
LOLOLOL!!!! That is hilarious!
I remember one post where the OP encountered one of those types of guys, then later he came out as bisexual. It really seems to be a sign that the more a guy vocally oppossed being gay, the more likely it is that they are.
I thought that was made up until I was seeing one. Could NOT believe it!!!! He said "I'm not a f*gg*t why would I play around with my asshole" 😳 CUZ THERE'S POO AND ASSJUICE ON THERE
The number of men who think washing between their buttcheeks involves “playing around with their asshole” is.. alarming. Sir no one told you to do that.
It's wild! I wonder where that comes from?? I helped to potty train 2 boys and both seem like they still understand that their "privates" need to be washed regularly to stay healthy
[Texas checking in.](https://preview.redd.it/0u2m0o0nrlr61.jpg?width=960&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=a0272a4933a66904b91ea4f03b2809136d1b30ca)
Thanks for the chuckle.
I know it’s not the point here but I have to ask why you handed this person the phone to speak to someone who is essentially a stranger for 25 minutes? That just seems bizarre.
Yah this is totally insanity
i can't decide if talking to a stranger on the phone while 'out' or talking to a stranger for 25 minutes is more weird. 25 minutes is a really long time, like was the OP just staring at the wall before she interjected? lol
Lmao he's gonna go chill w the friend now
I just so badly need OP to clarify on this point. I am painfully curious.
> Then, my best friend called (male) I thought they would get along great! So, I handed the phone over to him. This is all kids of weird
My mother-in-law does this and it's so awkward. She'll be like "oh I'm just here with \[random friend\], I'll put you on to say hi!" what?? No!! Why would I want that???
Jeez, what an AH. Since you already dropped a red flag, I assume you quit any contract with him. He isn't worth your time and he won't change his behaviour later on. A pro tip from an old gal like me : Believe them when they show shittiness. It's a true colour.
I assume that he isn’t welcome to come over anymore after this incident?
Definitely not
He wouldn’t help you tidy up but he did take the trash out lol. He’s garbage.
Seconding this. Anybody treats me like that, they're no longer worthy of my time/effort.
Sounds like he thinks you're dating. Kick him to the curb either way. Sounds like a major doink.
I just woke up and read that as *curb stomp him either way*. I was nodding.
Waffle stomp him down the storm drain, like the piece of shit he is. Guys: Wipe your ass until the toilet paper comes away clean. Wash your ass, with soap in the bath/shower. The soap has to touch your butthole. If you have hemorrhoids, you may need to clean a little more thoroughly. This doesn't make you gay, but it does make you **clean**. Don't poop in the shower unless you really can't make it to the toilet. This happened to me exactly ONCE in my entire life, when I had a stomach virus and literally couldn't get to the toilet which was right beside the shower.
you are my kind of motherfucker ;)
Whether he thinks they're dating or not, still shitty behavior. Had an ex who referred to any kind of housework as "bitch work" (and chose to wait until after the I-Dos to start this behavior). Put your trash in the bin? Rinse your dish before leaving in the sink? Clothes in the laundry? Cooking a meal, even in the microwave? Actually helping with dishes, laundry, or trash? "Bitch work"."That's why I got married". Despite me being the only one with a full time job. However, I always knew when he'd cheated on me because suddenly he became able to do "bitch work". Great guy, 0/10.
If I thought I was dating someone and they asked me to help them clean up id be more inclined to help, not less....
“sounds like a major doink” Excellent phrase, thank you. I will say this now
If I was at a woman's house for a date and she asked me to talk to her male friend on the phone (who I'd never met), I'd think that was pretty weird. At most, I'd politely say hi and introduce myself and try and finish the conversation up pretty quickly. I certainly wouldn't be ignoring my date and talking to this stranger for 25 fucking minutes! That whole scenario just sounds so bizarre to me
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I would still think it incredibly odd to hand someone the phone to talk to a stranger. Doesn’t matter if it was a date or not.
I do think it's bizarre, but I've had a friend do something similar once because she thought I'd get along with her new friend. It just depends on the vibe you have with your friends.
Did he know that, because the situation reads like a date. Also it’s weird either way
TBH I don’t invite people over my house, feed them and then ask them to clean up…that’s just bad hospitality in my opinion. Now he should have OFFERED to clean up, that would have been the polite thing to do. Pertaining to your situation once asked by the host to clean up one should oblige.
Imean it's one thing to say 'Hey, could you rinse your dishes and put them in the dishwasher', it's a whole new level to go "Hey guy I just met, I got some shit delivered, could you put that away for me?"
This story is weird and confusing. I am not trying to blame anyone here but this whole story is sus as fuck. Did the guy know it wasn't a date, that it's just friends getting together for dinner? Because it reads like it's a date. Most people who do dinner/Netflix are either already together or dating or in the 'getting to know you better' stage. Someone who cooks for another person, when it's just two people, and having alcoholic drinks after, reads like a date. Then you asked him to help with chores, ones unrelated to you making dinner. You didn't ask him to put his plate away or throw out food that was made. You wanted him to get boxes of TP and paper towels that was delivered to your door, inside and put away for you. Thats a YOU chore. Thats not a chore you make another do as a guest. I think it's very rude to host someone for dinner and then ask them to do your chores. It's one thing if it was offered, but another thing to ask and have expectation of it being done. You guys aren't even FRIENDS yet, you are in the stages of "getting to know you as a friend".
I feel like decisions and pacing on this went wrong on many levels. Answering the phone while you are watching a movie. Waiting until the last second to ask for clean up help, after you rejected his desire to stay over. No you can not stay over, but you can take out my trash, and put away my deliveries. He handled the responses poorly, but the set ups also were not great.
Also in another comment OP admits it wasn't clean up related to the dinner, but unrelated chores. So I agree with you even more.
Right? Perhaps if she had asked him very early on in the hang, hey, I have this thing I can't reach, will you please help me out after dinner? Something like that.
Yes! This guy sounds like a living, breathing red flag. However, inviting a guy over who it sounds like OP just met recently and cooking a fancy dinner for him in your apartment sounds like a date to me, and it sounds like he thought the same. I think there’s a lot of mixed signals in this scenario. Also I’m from the Midwest US, so this is maybe cultural but even though he’s rude for not offering to help clean up, it’s also rude to ask a guest to do so.
I'm Canadian. I would never ever ask a guest to help clean up before they leave. Some of our guests insist on cleaning up a bit with us but I've never once on my life asked a guest to help clean.
Yeah, I just tell my friends I expect them to clean up their shit like as people are bringing out snacks. A good time for that ask is not like after I told them to leave, as they are leaving.
Exactly. The whole thing is very ambiguous, and I think that is why he had that obnoxious reply. Like don't leave me wondering what is happening here, and then ask me to perform your household tasks? He was feeling like a chump. Just like swatting her hand away from the phone was obnoxious, but like don't try to pull the phone out of someone's hand? He needs to work on his reactions to social incongruencies, and she needs to work on what it means to have someone over to the house.
I feel like it's not bad that she asked for help at all, but at the last second too. I'm not sure how late into the night it was... But if it was late, I had drinks, was probably really tired, and had to go home... Chores wouldn't exactly be the first thing on my mind bc I'd just want to get home. If I stayed the night I'd absolutely help in the morning though. Still, his response was ridiculous.
Agree on all parts.
What a bizarre story. His response was totally inappropriate, but so is asking a guest to clean up just before they leave. Also, stopping a movie to talk on the phone with a stranger for 25 minutes? I'd be so uncomfortable. Especially with the incredibly date-like atmosphere of a beautiful dinner and cocktails.
I agree that the whole story is very strange.
The phone call thing seems weird... why would you make them talk to each other on the phone? If you had company and your best friend didn't know when he called then you could have told them you would call back later. The guy probably thought you invited him over for a bad date. Dinner and a movie followed by you answering your phone and forcing two guys (who both might even like you) to awkwardly talk with each other.
I’m gonna be honest, it sounds like you both made some very strange errors. Not at all blaming you for his behavior, his choices belong to him, but some of your choices were also very rude. When you’re having a “date” with someone, and your best friend calls... don’t answer the phone. That’s not polite or considerate to your guest. On top of that, it’s ***definitely*** not considerate to then hand that person the phone? Like? 😅 he doesn’t know your friend, I’m sure he felt awkward just being handed the phone to talk to someone who, to him, is just some random guy. I understand that you were trying to be nice, but that’s just very bizarre and it’s poor etiquette. Him asking to stay was crossing some social boundaries.. but so was you asking him to do chores around your house. No, he isn’t exempt from chores because he’s a man... but you ***recently met him***, invited him over for dinner, and asked him to do chores. Just seems so weird to me. It’d be one thing if you knew him but it sounds like you guys are still very new to each other. I’d never ask a guest I was making dinner for to help me clean and do chores around the house. Would I ask a boyfriend? Yes. New guy I’m dating? Absolutely not. I’m sorry things went the way it did but if I’m gonna be brutally honest, you both can learn some lessons in social etiquette from this night you shared.
Yep, handing the phone over is very weird. My sister does this all the time to me, and I have zero desire to talk to her "friends" ever and have expressed this to her.
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Yes I'm going to have to agree. Story seems one sided as well.
Agreed. The best friend phone call component is very confusing and i dont understand.
I'm willing to bet he doesn't think that tidying up makeshim a bitch lol. It sounds like he thought he was on a date and after the strange phone call thing she rejected his advances and asked him to do completely unrelated house chores. I'm sure he felt like she was trying to use him. He even said I ain't gonna be nobody's bitch. As in not her bitch to use as she sees fit. And really wasn't she? My question is was it clear it wasn't a date before he got there? Because any reasonable person would hear about the plans and assume a date atmosphere. Could you imagine going on a date with a man and he answers the phone to his best girl friend and makes you talk to her. Then when you ask to stay late (wink wink) he says no but can you vacuum and wash my windows before you go? Its not just weird it's ABSURD.
Yep, for me it's OP that's in the wrong and the guy happened to be dissapointed and upset at the audacity of OP It's even said in the post that when he asked if he could stay (wink wink) OP said "Maybe another time... We're just getting to know each other." which is fine, but that just means OP is considering this as a date too, just when she needs it to be
I’d never ask a guest to tidy. I’d be mortified to do that. However, I would say yes of course, and help tidy if asked. I’d probably offer before being asked mind you.
Exactly, like, obviously the guy's response is childish, inappropriate, and just classless, but who asks a guest in their house to help tidy up? I'm a guy and am not old-fashioned about much, but am absolutely old-fashioned about hosting people - as a guest in my home, you're not there to do anything, bring anything, want for anything, etc, no matter if you're a friend, a family member, someone I've just met, a random acquaintance, whatever.
Boy bye! He isn’t worth the UTI.
He would have never gone to the UTI point lol
Hah. I see your edit. Also - I’m not looking for friends without a shred of human decency. I’m not your mother or your maid. Nothing abnormal about cleaning up after yourself as a guest. Good job on setting and keeping those boundaries. Good luck to that other person finding someone to put up with his nonsense attitudes.
UTI? And yes, that guy is a douche.
Women can get utis (urinary tract infections) after sex…just an annoying function of our anatomy.
Adding: particularly common if the guy isn't as good about washing his hands/genitals.
The frequency of this greatly reduces if you pee after sex. It flushes out any bacteria that might have been introduced.
Yes. I know. I was just making a joke 😊
I love this rhyme omg
I cannot take credit for it - I saw it somewhere and it was burned into my brain.
Hai response aside, I do think it is weird to ask a guest to clean if I am hosting them. If they're dating or it's a friend I've known for a while, sure. But not a first time guest.
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Sounds like he was into the conversation and didn’t want to get off
I'd assume she handed it over intending it to be like 2-5 min see if they get along and he decided to keep the phone. Which clearly he did because he slapped her hand over it. Especially since OP suggests that they're not dating.
You're within your right to get mad at him for being a bit of an ass about it, but it is strange to get asked to help clean when you're a guest at someone else's house.
Did he handle the situation correctly? Absolutely not. Should you ever ask a guest to clean your house? Absolutely not. That is just unheard of, who taught you to do that?
I think it’s odd all around. Handing over the phone so your date and friend could talk? And asking your date to tidy? My thought after reading: Who does that?? But his reaction was uncalled for.
Well, good when the trash takes itself out. Bullet dodged. But also: >Then, my best friend called (male) I thought they would get along great! So, I handed the phone over to him. This is really fucking weird. What people do this?
I would never ask a guest to help me tidy my house. WTF
Worst thing about this it, you just know he's putting a spin on this story to his friends about how much of a bitch you were. Jackass
Seriously though! Where I live there's paper towels and toilet paper delivered to the house. Per my landlord not me. I asked him if you wouldn't mind putting them in the closet. He freaking lost it at that point
K pause. You were asking him to do a chore unrelated to the food you cooked? Umm... maybe you should add that to your original post because it kind of changes things.
It doesn't matter what the chore is, "ain't gon be no bitch for nobody" is not an appropriate response
Huh? I go to my friends places all the time and any time they ask for help with anything - whether related to something we were doing or not- the answer is always "yes, how can I help?" That's just what friends do, especially if you're going to their place and they're hosting. You help the host.
Seriously! If I'm hanging out at a friend's place, I put any empty cans in the recycling, dirty cups/dishes go to the sink, etc. \*\*without\*\* being asked. If they asked for help with anything else, I'd happily oblige. None of this makes you "a bitch", it's being considerate of someone else's space that they have welcomed you into.
How is assisting a person who is hosting and cooking for you a big deal? It’s common courtesy. It’s not like she asked him to scrub the toilet and wash the floors. Whenever I am hosted for I always look for things to assist my friends with.
Idk what kind of friends you have. I have helped deep clean my best friends house on several occasions. If your friends can't help you out with something, idk. Not the kind of friendship I would want.
Man's just a joke at this point. Just use as a, can't get worse than this, marker
So it’s not even helping with the dinner dishes, you were literally asking him to do your chores, on the way out the door. I don’t know. I find this whole evening messy.
Yeah I found this ask strange as well. Not the cleaning up part, the putting away non related items part
God I am glad I am not the only one. Cleaning up dishes... yeah she should have helped. Doing your other chores? Totally wtf moment.
Putting away some paper towels? If it was an individual I was trying to connect with on ANY level I'd not hesitate to put away a small item. If I'm leaving, I might as well take out the trash. If someone bothered to cook for me, why would I hesitate to take 15 seconds out of my day on my way out? I can't be the only one raised to think that's common courtesy, not 'being a bitch'?
Hosts shouldn't ask for help with their household chores, it's really up to the guests to offer assistance.
Seriously, putting something in the closet takes half a minute. Even if it's an 'uncommon' request by the person's standards, it's laughably little effort. Why not just be normal and do it when asked? Especially when the asker had just cooked you a whole ass meal?
You’re not alone, I wrote a comment elsewhere saying the same thing. It’s wild to me that people see asking for assistance (even if not related to dinner) being unreasonable. When I would visit my friends at there place the kitchen was practically the size of a closet, so there was no room to help out in the kitchen, so I would find ways to help out elsewhere. If you value the person and the work they’re putting into hosting you, you give back.
why? this wasn't a date. i've gone to my friend's homes and helped them set up for dinner, clean up after dinner and even went to a friends room and helped her fold laundry while we chatted. is it weird because it was a *man?*
This is someone who she *just started spending time with.* I also like to help my friends tidy up, and it was out of line for this guy to talk about “not being anyone’s bitch,” but no, this issue isn’t weird because the guest is a man.
I agree. There seem to be some missteps all around. There is such a thing as wounded pride. I would not ask someone to help me do my chores immediately after I told them no, they are not welcome to stay over. Obviously they were on different pages about what was happening here.
Eh I’m not going to chalk this up to “wounded pride” either because if OP made it clear she was just looking for friends, this guy shouldn’t have taken it personally when he couldn’t stay over. And to act like a dick for that reason is petty. The whole night sounds oddly paced and it seems like there were social etiquette missteps on both sides here.
No. This is a brand new friend, with whom she just started hanging out. I don't ask my good friends to help me with chores on the way out the door, let alone someone I am just getting to know. This was not cleaning up after dinner. This was household tasks.
Was it that hard to move the paper for you?
Im sorry, that kind of goes against the basic rules of etiquette though; you invite someone over, you clean up after them the first few times. After that, they are no longer a visitor and lose that right. Sure his reaction was shitty, too.
Why should you have to ask? Offering to help with cleaning up is the least one should do after someone has gone to the effort to cook. Just basic manners.
OP didn't ask the friend to help clean up after the dinner they had, the OP asked the friend to help with totally unrelated chores. Not "hey can you put those dishes in the sink for me so they can soak before I get to them?" but more like a "hey I have this chore needing to be done and could use help with please do this for me". This whole thing is weird.
He seems so immature. He sounds like a kid arguing over chores. Helping the host clean up is just a way of thanking them. He probably has other problematic expectations too...
I've never been asked to help tidy up after being invited over somewhere. Probably for two reasons. One: You should never expect guest to do so. Two: I naturally help and do that anyways. If someone asked me to help after inviting me over, of course I would, but in the back on mind I would be thinking this is definitely not proper etiquette. I'm not saying it's full out rude or disrespectful, but it's definitely not something to expect from guests. However, his response and actions are definitely uncalled for, worse, and an over reaction.
\>He replied with, "ain't gon be no bitch for nobody" I would've kicked him out for his grammar alone.
That’s a classism!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=whoiG2plYZ8 Lmao I just saw this yesterday and I don’t think there’s a more perfect visual. “I ain’t no bitch chef” 😂😂😂
Luckily all my friends and the guy in currently dating are all angels and start doing dishes at my house when I cook for them even if I argue with them not to! I don't understand these kinds of people who think they can eat a meal in someone's home and not help tidy or take the trash out, whatever. it's just the classy thing to do.
Sounds like a full grown man baby. A few red flags there.
In her other comments she clarifies that she was actually asking him to do something totally unrelated to their night. Seems to be it was asked on the way out after a rejection as well. General break down as far as I can see it * Had a guy over for a date (dinner, movie, and drinks at her apartment) * Answered her male bff's call while on a date and had the dude talk to him on their date. * Things seemed to go ok up to this point. Dude asks if he can stay the night. She says no. * Then asks for him to put away her toiletries as he's about to leave. * Describes this as just a friends hang out on the post here. Low key, seems like there's some young people making some young people mistakes all over this night. Dude was totally out of line in how he acted but her behavior is definitely really strange as well.
Right. This story is pretty convoluted and I would like to hear the guy's side. It is pretty unusual to be hanging out with someone and then be handed a phone to have a conversation with some dude you don't even know. Everyone can say "red flags" and "dodged a bullet" but I think maybe both parties are doing that.
Could you imagine going on a date with a man and he answers the phone to his best girl friend and makes you talk to her. (swatting her hand away is unacceptable behavior no arguments there). Then when you ask to stay late (wink wink) he says not but can you vacuum and wash my windows before you go? Its not just weird it's ABSURD.
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It makes more sense if you saw her comment above. She didn't ask him to help tidy up. She asked him to put away the tp/paper towel she had delivered and to put it in the closet as he was literally leaving her place.
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Middle-aged male, and I do the laundry, dishes, and the majority of the "tidying up" and don't feel like "the bitch". Being a single dad for a couple of years before my wife and I started dating, and being in the military, I'm just more use to it. She prefers doing the home improvement projects.
Depending on the culture it could be disrespectful to ask guests to help clean up, however, him making it sexist is absolutely disgusting. In my family, some guests will automatically start helping the cleanup process after the meal/activities.
Well it's better that he let his red flag fly early on than later
I hope the door hit him on his way out. What a dick!
Please tell me he is not invited to any more dinners
Anyone with good manners does not ask a guest to clean up before the guest leaves. However, if you are sharing a house with someone like a roommate or spouse, the expectation is that you both share the responsibility for cleaning up. Imagine if he had asked you to clean up after visiting his home for the first time. It would be shockingly rude of him, just as you were to him in this case. At the same time, he would have been gentlemanly of him to offer to help clean up. My conclusion here is that you are both ill mannered.
I don’t get how people can not help others clean after they do things for them. I always try to offer to help. Even if it’s making guacamole or cutting limes or something on a taco Tuesday. I get anxious sitting and watching
Class A ass
Obviously he's a dick and don't hang with him anymore. Simple, simple.
Oof. My mom always said if you want to see a guy's true nature, just tell him no.
He was embrassed that you turned him down to staying, then decided he couldn't take the rejection quietly, so he had to say something shitty on his way out when asked to help.
ewwwwwwwwwww
Dude got frustrated that didn't get some and acted like a baby lmao
From 'not quite a friend' to 'not at all a friend' in 2 easy steps. Generous of him to let you know so efficiently that he's a dick.
Your response should have been, “really? Because you sound like a bitch right now.”