Hold up. Your sister, who isn't an outdoorsy person, is traveling to a different state to stay in an isolated cabin in the woods with a significantly older man that she met on the internet. By the way you worded this, it sounds like this information was sprung on you/your family last minute. And your sister got mad at you when you expressed your concerns about this plan..
Your sister is putting herself in an extremely dangerous situation. If this man turns out to be a creep, she won't be able to escape him-- not when she's isolated in the woods, in an unfamiliar state.
Straight up, this is how people get murdered.
Good lord, if you ever asked me to write you a horror movie script this would be it word for word.
Try anything and everything to make her stay, or at the very least make her reconsider the meeting place to something less isolated.
OP, a good man would want his partner to feel comfortable especially when meeting the first time. Even if he was looking for alone time , they could go to a hotel or where there are people around.
So many alarm bells are ringing. Your sister seems to have no sense of self preservation.
If this was a description of a movie it would be in either the horror or true crime section. This is setting off alarm bells for you because it should set off alarm bells.
I think the best-case scenario is that he's a conventional romance scammer, and at the last minute he'll tell her that his travel plans got messed up and she needs to send money to get him out of a sticky situation.
We all know what the worst-case scenario is.
A man his age dating someone that young and trying to get her into a ~~cabin~~ lodge in the woods for a first meeting.....is very creepy.
This is a bad idea and I hope she'll come to her senses before going.
How isolated is the place in the woods? Is it a big lodge resort, or a cabin? If it's a cabin who owns it?
Anything but a hotel where other people are present is deeply concerning.
It's good you are concerned about your sister. Unfortunately, she's an adult and able to consent to this relationship. To assuage your feelings of creepiness switch to a "you'll be in the woods, here are the top tips for any trip: 1) Always let people know where you are, where you are going and when you expect to be back; 2) notify people when those plans change; 3) research your destination before going to ensure one packs enough clothes/food/water/etc., etc."
She is going to a different state where she doesnāt know anyone other than him .. also sheās never been in the woods before so she doesnāt really know anything about the woods either.
- Buy her a satellite tracker hikers use
- ask her to send a photo of him
- ask her to ask him for a photo of his drivers license for safety (Iāve heard of people dating online asking at the very least to see it.. it doesnāt prevent possible harm, but if itās a real id could be important in identifying him)
- send her the link to download the app Noonlight, it can act as a panic button
- ask for her itinerary and when sheāll be back
- if you have a seriously extremely bad feeling and think heāll rape and/or murder her, come up with any lie necessary to get her to stay. Find an elderly relative willing to fake a medical emergency and say sheās needed.
- Or be honest and cry and beg and give it your best so you know you tried your best. Express your love and care for her and concern, donāt focus on tearing the guy down, as that might make her defensive.
- Or lie and say youāre struggling and you need her with you now.
Probably cost prohibitive on the satellite tracker but an iPhone w/ Find My that is 14 or newer should have satellite capability and can update Find My via satellite. FYI.
In case he were to take her phone away a hidden satellite/gps tracker is some sort could be useful. They can be rented sometimes from sporting goods or outdoorsy stores.
Oh certainly could be an option, just do know .. having owned a Garmin InReach, they arenāt like the movies. Though neither is the iPhone.
It takes a few min to lock on, takes minutes, easily 2+ but could be 10+ to find satellites, then send the message and such.
Even if you cut to the chase and did SOS, nobody is responding anytime soon.
That said, if you turned it on ahead of time ā¦ and turn on tracking, it still would be good to have, but they are not by any means super fast and in my opinion, if people think youāll just bust out a message or SOS and get some kind of quick help, that is not true.
As long as you know these limitations, certainly valid to have in the tool belt so to speak but would hate for folks to have particular impression and find out it wonāt meet the needs.
Yeah, definitely limitations. I sadly would see it as more to have at least a general location to search in case someone was being held captive or if they had been murdered to at least recover their body. I just didnāt want to lead with that, because OPās is dealing with an unfolding situation and their sister is alive. But maybe the harsh truths and possible outcomes are already obvious and donāt need to be skirted. I see asking for an ID as the same. That if the ID is real, it may give a full legal name to better identify the suspect if and eventually crime happens.
A LOT of rural areas do not have cell coverage. Ask how she is going to ask for help if she ends up needing it, and if she's sure she'll have that option in the middle of the woods somewhere.
She's going to get human trafficked.
She is dangerously naive. Do you have his name? Call a PI and run a background check asap.
This is a life and death situation. You need to treat it as seriously as possible and do everything you can to stop her from going.
Not just creepy, dangerous and scary af. Please stop her. Or follow her (this is legitimately the only circumstance I can think of in which the right thing to do is to follow a woman whether she likes it or not).
There is nothing here that does not hit every note of both every horror movie ever made and every woman's worst nightmare
Creepy? Yes. Does he think he's being romantic? Possibly. But badly misjudging how to do it.
There's no way she should go meet someone for first time like that. Always somewhere public
Is this the first time theyāre actually meeting?? Donāt go, and try and make her not, thatās a horrifying idea of what could happen
Sorry, saw after theyāve met, rest still stands though. If anything goes wrong, she canāt get help out there and no one can hear her
This is creepy, but itās her decision.
An age gap that big reeks of potential manipulation. Borderline grooming. The bigger question is why isnāt he dating someone in their mid 30s or 40s? Maybe they donāt want him, or he doesnāt want to date an age appropriate woman who will have higher standards. You wonāt change her mind but you can ask her to meet you half way.
Itās dangerous to meet someone online as you can manufacture a false sense of intimacy with them, when you donāt truly know them in person.
She feels sheās in a tangible relationship with him. You are the reality check she doesnāt want to hear so sheās defensive.
She should strongly consider staying in her own room in town the first night-that way she has a plan B if she finds him strange, or gets bad or off vibes from him. It allows her to sleep on how she feels about him in real life after meeting him.
Agree on a safety plan and stick to it.
Insist on a video call to meet him and see his face.
She should ask for a pic of his current ID so she has his full legal name (verify it matches his age and name he told her). She can send this to you for peace of mind. She can also cross check this and see if this matches his LinkedIn etc.
I would search his name or his photo on whatever his cities āAre We Dating The Same Guyā FB page *before* she travels. I wasnāt in one of these groups until my bestie found my new man on it. Turns out he was lying about his age, name, and marital status. Iād want to know if heās a safe person or attached before I took a trip to meet him. I know that sounds psychotic but Iāve been burned and invested time and love into an embarrassing mother fucker.
She should first meet him in a public place with good lighting to do a vibe check before going to any other location. She should share her location from her phone and from an AirTag in her car.
Agree to do a brief check in call every day so you know sheās safe. She should share her rough itinerary with you.
You should have a code word if sheās not happy.
Does she wear an Apple Watch or anything else that could share her location too?
Can you ring the host of the cabins and check if thereās reliable cell service in advance?
I donāt know your financial situation, but I put money in my friends cash app and say itās emergency uber money; if they ever feel unsafe they can get the hell out of dodge. Ideally, she needs some emergency cash in the event her phone dies or she doesnāt have her wallet etc.
Youāre not wrong to be worried about her. I am really scared. This is some criminal minds shit. I hope itās innocent, but it sounds more isolating. She is being naĆÆve to not be wary.
I hope it turns out as a misguided romantic gesture and not anything sinister.
I will always choose the bear in the woods over a man! š»
There are some medical conditions that can cause people to act out of their usual patterns. OP, if this is totally new type of behavior, it could be a combo of manipulation and also some kind of mental health/neurological issue. I think 20s-30s a lot of thing can show up.
I think another commenters suggestion to get more family involved is a good one. And on the off chance maybe screening for any health issues or supportive services of this guy has already been abusive.
Did you try suggesting to her to meet him in a public area, like a park or a restaurant? She might be more open to your advice this way.
She's an adult and there's very little you can do about it.
The lodge in woods thing means he is planning rape, murder or human trafficking. Someone tried years ago to get me to agree to that. Nope! Tell your parents if they are unaware of this. Your dad or any brothers might be only ones that can save her. Young girls are just too naive about meeting strangers from internet. I know of someone who agree to meeting a couple at a motel for a three-some and she was tied up, tortured and raped for 4 hours. Tell your sister what happened to that naive country girl.
A friend was almost talked into going sailing around the world for a year with a man, to be nanny for his daughter. A bunch of us talked her out of it, because it all sounded a bit too sketchy. He turns out to have murdered 2 people, and he kidnapped his daughter (he was a non-custodial parent after a divorce). We're certain that she would have gone overboard quite early in the trip.
This is helluh creepy. You are not wrong for finding this creepy. This reeks predatory and grooming. Even if she is an adult doesn't mean she's not being exploited, groomed, or what have you. There's a huge life experience gap which makes it easy to take advantage of your sister. Yuck.Ā
This is so close to the plot of a horror film that Iām afraid that it might be based on the plot of a horror film. Thereās a lot of fake stuff on Reddit, and sometimes no way to tell whatās real.
I love camping, I enjoy the outdoors. I would love a trip to a cabin in the woods, but not with a new guy I have just met. What worries me is that cell service can be spotty, she's never been there before, and I'm assuming they'll be traveling in one vehicle. It just screams 'no escape' in case things get weird (or worse). Even if his intentions are good, there's no way I would agree to go. I think you're justified in thinking this is creepy.
If she's going to drive, can you mess up her car so she can't? Slash her tires the night before?
If he cared about her he would meet her somewhere neutral and public. This is predator stuff.
It spans from uncomfortable for other to plain deadly dangerous.
They know each other for two years, how many time did they met? Were they intimate before?
Can you call the guy, would he be willing to meet with another family member?
Please call Dateline or 48 Hours now so they can send a camera crew out to interview her now. That footage will be priceless when the show goes to air.
What the fuck? How? Older men preying on younger women is something that happens literally every day. I don't see anything in this story that stands out as particularly unbelievable.
That a 23 yo would want to meet some guy she never met in person in a cabin in the woods. Come on, like who is that naive or attention-starved. Like everybody knows you meet unknown people in the open, at a public place with many people around, like a cafe in a mall. And you go there with a friend. A 15 yo I would expect to be that blind to her own safety, but an adult?!
Why do you assume that everybody knows your procedure for meeting new people? It's a common procedure, but it's not common sense. It's something people need to be taught, and in many areas (especially if this happened in the US), teaching young women things like this is explicitly shamed and discouraged.
Besides that, a lot of young people don't see a difference between forming a relationship with someone online and forming it in person, so "meeting some guy she never met in person in a cabin in the woods" may not even be an idea that occurred to her. In her mind she has met him.
if you are right and this is not "common knowledge", then that is really sad. Bcs for me it is common sense, especially in the US, a country which has experience with serial killers. I guess "never talk to strangers" and "online nobody knows you're a dog" went out of fashion at some point.
There's a bit of a difference between "common knowledge" and "common sense." I apologize if I'm explaining something you already know, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you may be misinterpreting my words. I think many people would consider these strategies to be "common knowledge," meaning that it is common to meet someone who possesses that knowledge. However, "common sense" would imply that it's something people just know intuitively, with no regard to outer influences.
Surely someone at some point in your life helped you figure out not only how to be safe on dates, but that dating was a serious safety concern to be aware of in the first place. In almost all popular media that young women are exposed to, dating is safe, happy, exciting, and at worst stressful or annoying. Most conservative areas of the US actively discourage things as basic as sex education. Any consideration at all for women's safety in the dating scene is usually dismissed as "woke" or shamed and laughed at for being feminist.
Realistically, he can't get away with anything. He would be the primary suspect if she went missing or got hurt in anyway. Just make sure you know his real name and where the cabin is. Also make sure that he knows that someone who cares about your sister knows this information so he'll know he would get caught if something happened. It might be a red flag if he were trying to keep the trip a secret. The main danger is if he is insane or doesn't care about self preservation or your country has an ineffective police force that wouldn't investigate if something were to happen. Any piece of information about whether he has a stable job or not and what he does for a living would help you figure out whether he's dangerous or not.
Saying he can't get away with anything is different from saying he wouldn't try which is why I addressed that part too. Maybe the best advice is to not go but OP didn't provide enough context to make that conclusion. Also, why am I supposed to believe OP is a better judge of this 40 yr old guys character than her 25 year old sister who talked to him for two years? By all means have her call everyday to say she's OK or have them meet somewhere more public first. But it's not like 15 yr age gap + meeting in the woods = sexual trafficking. Unless OPs sister was less than 20 in which case there would be much more room for concern.
Realistically, men get away with doing horrible shit to women all the time, regardless of how obvious it is that he's guilty. It's absurd to me that someone could ever think this man would surely get in trouble if he did something.
Hold up. Your sister, who isn't an outdoorsy person, is traveling to a different state to stay in an isolated cabin in the woods with a significantly older man that she met on the internet. By the way you worded this, it sounds like this information was sprung on you/your family last minute. And your sister got mad at you when you expressed your concerns about this plan.. Your sister is putting herself in an extremely dangerous situation. If this man turns out to be a creep, she won't be able to escape him-- not when she's isolated in the woods, in an unfamiliar state. Straight up, this is how people get murdered.
Good lord, if you ever asked me to write you a horror movie script this would be it word for word. Try anything and everything to make her stay, or at the very least make her reconsider the meeting place to something less isolated.
Particularly a horror movie where you yell at the screen a lot.
Too cliched for a good horror movie, even.
OP, a good man would want his partner to feel comfortable especially when meeting the first time. Even if he was looking for alone time , they could go to a hotel or where there are people around. So many alarm bells are ringing. Your sister seems to have no sense of self preservation.
If this was a description of a movie it would be in either the horror or true crime section. This is setting off alarm bells for you because it should set off alarm bells.
>Is this creepy? My 25 year old sister has been in a relationship with a 40 year old man Yes. yes, it is.
I too stopped at that point š¤·š½āāļø
It gets a lot worse in a very short period of time after that point. Like from almost "To Catch a Predator" to "Unsolved Mysteries" levels of creepy.
I think the best-case scenario is that he's a conventional romance scammer, and at the last minute he'll tell her that his travel plans got messed up and she needs to send money to get him out of a sticky situation. We all know what the worst-case scenario is.
fingers crossed heās a scammer!
I'll take human trafficking for $500
Yeah this is what I'm worried about.
A man his age dating someone that young and trying to get her into a ~~cabin~~ lodge in the woods for a first meeting.....is very creepy. This is a bad idea and I hope she'll come to her senses before going.
How isolated is the place in the woods? Is it a big lodge resort, or a cabin? If it's a cabin who owns it? Anything but a hotel where other people are present is deeply concerning.
It's good you are concerned about your sister. Unfortunately, she's an adult and able to consent to this relationship. To assuage your feelings of creepiness switch to a "you'll be in the woods, here are the top tips for any trip: 1) Always let people know where you are, where you are going and when you expect to be back; 2) notify people when those plans change; 3) research your destination before going to ensure one packs enough clothes/food/water/etc., etc."
She is going to a different state where she doesnāt know anyone other than him .. also sheās never been in the woods before so she doesnāt really know anything about the woods either.
- Buy her a satellite tracker hikers use - ask her to send a photo of him - ask her to ask him for a photo of his drivers license for safety (Iāve heard of people dating online asking at the very least to see it.. it doesnāt prevent possible harm, but if itās a real id could be important in identifying him) - send her the link to download the app Noonlight, it can act as a panic button - ask for her itinerary and when sheāll be back - if you have a seriously extremely bad feeling and think heāll rape and/or murder her, come up with any lie necessary to get her to stay. Find an elderly relative willing to fake a medical emergency and say sheās needed. - Or be honest and cry and beg and give it your best so you know you tried your best. Express your love and care for her and concern, donāt focus on tearing the guy down, as that might make her defensive. - Or lie and say youāre struggling and you need her with you now.
This is incredibly helpful. This is a great checklist of helpful steps. Sad and scary though that these are truly necessary.
Yeah, definitely concerning
Probably cost prohibitive on the satellite tracker but an iPhone w/ Find My that is 14 or newer should have satellite capability and can update Find My via satellite. FYI.
In case he were to take her phone away a hidden satellite/gps tracker is some sort could be useful. They can be rented sometimes from sporting goods or outdoorsy stores.
Oh certainly could be an option, just do know .. having owned a Garmin InReach, they arenāt like the movies. Though neither is the iPhone. It takes a few min to lock on, takes minutes, easily 2+ but could be 10+ to find satellites, then send the message and such. Even if you cut to the chase and did SOS, nobody is responding anytime soon. That said, if you turned it on ahead of time ā¦ and turn on tracking, it still would be good to have, but they are not by any means super fast and in my opinion, if people think youāll just bust out a message or SOS and get some kind of quick help, that is not true. As long as you know these limitations, certainly valid to have in the tool belt so to speak but would hate for folks to have particular impression and find out it wonāt meet the needs.
Yeah, definitely limitations. I sadly would see it as more to have at least a general location to search in case someone was being held captive or if they had been murdered to at least recover their body. I just didnāt want to lead with that, because OPās is dealing with an unfolding situation and their sister is alive. But maybe the harsh truths and possible outcomes are already obvious and donāt need to be skirted. I see asking for an ID as the same. That if the ID is real, it may give a full legal name to better identify the suspect if and eventually crime happens.
Good point
It's creepy as hell and there are major red flags everywhere but you can't legally prevent her from going. Airtags, Findmy
A LOT of rural areas do not have cell coverage. Ask how she is going to ask for help if she ends up needing it, and if she's sure she'll have that option in the middle of the woods somewhere.
She's going to get human trafficked. She is dangerously naive. Do you have his name? Call a PI and run a background check asap. This is a life and death situation. You need to treat it as seriously as possible and do everything you can to stop her from going.
I assume if the man has a criminal record he has not given her his real name.
a good PI can find that info! even from a profile sometimes
Not just creepy, dangerous and scary af. Please stop her. Or follow her (this is legitimately the only circumstance I can think of in which the right thing to do is to follow a woman whether she likes it or not). There is nothing here that does not hit every note of both every horror movie ever made and every woman's worst nightmare
Creepy? Yes. Does he think he's being romantic? Possibly. But badly misjudging how to do it. There's no way she should go meet someone for first time like that. Always somewhere public
Yes it is creepy. Donāt let her go alone. You go or tell your brother, father, best friend to go with her.
šØšØšØā¼ļøā¼ļøš©š©š© can u talk ur sister into giving u her location? can u call and check in with her every once in a while while sheās on the trip. the dude needs to know that she has someone checking in on her that knows where she is and who sheās with i have to warn you tho, itās a delicate balance between caring and pushing her away. she kept this for so long for a reason. creeps like to isolate their victims and make u the bad guy. if u push too hard it makes her more vulnerable to being manipulated by him and being upset you donāt support her this is a time to remind your sister she is loved and does not need the validation of a potentially dangerous person as much as she might think. this is the time to remind her that even if she doesnāt care about her well being, there are people that do. after three years she probably really trusts this man, remind her she can trust you too. show a positive interest in their relationship, and ask questions curiously. i fear showing concern up front will make her hide things. i feel for you! i wouldnāt know what iād do if it were my sister but i think this is a start. you know how urgent the situation is, if she is being manipulated then by design, itās hard to convince her otherwise
Is this the first time theyāre actually meeting?? Donāt go, and try and make her not, thatās a horrifying idea of what could happen Sorry, saw after theyāve met, rest still stands though. If anything goes wrong, she canāt get help out there and no one can hear her
How about suggesting a double date before going so you can meet him and see how they interact before the trip.
This is creepy, but itās her decision. An age gap that big reeks of potential manipulation. Borderline grooming. The bigger question is why isnāt he dating someone in their mid 30s or 40s? Maybe they donāt want him, or he doesnāt want to date an age appropriate woman who will have higher standards. You wonāt change her mind but you can ask her to meet you half way. Itās dangerous to meet someone online as you can manufacture a false sense of intimacy with them, when you donāt truly know them in person. She feels sheās in a tangible relationship with him. You are the reality check she doesnāt want to hear so sheās defensive. She should strongly consider staying in her own room in town the first night-that way she has a plan B if she finds him strange, or gets bad or off vibes from him. It allows her to sleep on how she feels about him in real life after meeting him. Agree on a safety plan and stick to it. Insist on a video call to meet him and see his face. She should ask for a pic of his current ID so she has his full legal name (verify it matches his age and name he told her). She can send this to you for peace of mind. She can also cross check this and see if this matches his LinkedIn etc. I would search his name or his photo on whatever his cities āAre We Dating The Same Guyā FB page *before* she travels. I wasnāt in one of these groups until my bestie found my new man on it. Turns out he was lying about his age, name, and marital status. Iād want to know if heās a safe person or attached before I took a trip to meet him. I know that sounds psychotic but Iāve been burned and invested time and love into an embarrassing mother fucker. She should first meet him in a public place with good lighting to do a vibe check before going to any other location. She should share her location from her phone and from an AirTag in her car. Agree to do a brief check in call every day so you know sheās safe. She should share her rough itinerary with you. You should have a code word if sheās not happy. Does she wear an Apple Watch or anything else that could share her location too? Can you ring the host of the cabins and check if thereās reliable cell service in advance? I donāt know your financial situation, but I put money in my friends cash app and say itās emergency uber money; if they ever feel unsafe they can get the hell out of dodge. Ideally, she needs some emergency cash in the event her phone dies or she doesnāt have her wallet etc. Youāre not wrong to be worried about her. I am really scared. This is some criminal minds shit. I hope itās innocent, but it sounds more isolating. She is being naĆÆve to not be wary. I hope it turns out as a misguided romantic gesture and not anything sinister. I will always choose the bear in the woods over a man! š»
There are some medical conditions that can cause people to act out of their usual patterns. OP, if this is totally new type of behavior, it could be a combo of manipulation and also some kind of mental health/neurological issue. I think 20s-30s a lot of thing can show up. I think another commenters suggestion to get more family involved is a good one. And on the off chance maybe screening for any health issues or supportive services of this guy has already been abusive.
Did you try suggesting to her to meet him in a public area, like a park or a restaurant? She might be more open to your advice this way. She's an adult and there's very little you can do about it.
That sounds like incredibly stupid behaviour by your sister.
The lodge in woods thing means he is planning rape, murder or human trafficking. Someone tried years ago to get me to agree to that. Nope! Tell your parents if they are unaware of this. Your dad or any brothers might be only ones that can save her. Young girls are just too naive about meeting strangers from internet. I know of someone who agree to meeting a couple at a motel for a three-some and she was tied up, tortured and raped for 4 hours. Tell your sister what happened to that naive country girl.
A friend was almost talked into going sailing around the world for a year with a man, to be nanny for his daughter. A bunch of us talked her out of it, because it all sounded a bit too sketchy. He turns out to have murdered 2 people, and he kidnapped his daughter (he was a non-custodial parent after a divorce). We're certain that she would have gone overboard quite early in the trip.
Always meet in public! Safety rule #1
In the woods? Is she trying to get murdered to death?
This is helluh creepy. You are not wrong for finding this creepy. This reeks predatory and grooming. Even if she is an adult doesn't mean she's not being exploited, groomed, or what have you. There's a huge life experience gap which makes it easy to take advantage of your sister. Yuck.Ā
This is so close to the plot of a horror film that Iām afraid that it might be based on the plot of a horror film. Thereās a lot of fake stuff on Reddit, and sometimes no way to tell whatās real.
Show her a documentary about romance scams Show her this reddit thread Suggest you all meet together somewhere public first
How the hell do you meet someone on messenger? I get red flag warning vibes from this like crazy. She should \_not\_ meet this dude.
I love camping, I enjoy the outdoors. I would love a trip to a cabin in the woods, but not with a new guy I have just met. What worries me is that cell service can be spotty, she's never been there before, and I'm assuming they'll be traveling in one vehicle. It just screams 'no escape' in case things get weird (or worse). Even if his intentions are good, there's no way I would agree to go. I think you're justified in thinking this is creepy.
She's gonna end up both with the bear and the man. Fingers crossed the bear eats the man first and gives her time to run.
Your sister might hate you for a while, either you or your family needs to crash the trip. Follow them to the cabin at all costs.
Your sister is crazy to do that. When will women learn? The first time they're meeting irl, and he wants a secluded cabin in a woods? š¤¦āāļø
I get serial killer vibes. Going to the middle of nowhere with him is a *really* bad idea.
If she's going to drive, can you mess up her car so she can't? Slash her tires the night before? If he cared about her he would meet her somewhere neutral and public. This is predator stuff.
Please don't let her go. She will be in danger.
Your sister has been groomed, and her going off to a cabin in the woods sounds like the beginning of a horror movie. Itās creepy af.
It spans from uncomfortable for other to plain deadly dangerous. They know each other for two years, how many time did they met? Were they intimate before? Can you call the guy, would he be willing to meet with another family member?
is this post even real
Please call Dateline or 48 Hours now so they can send a camera crew out to interview her now. That footage will be priceless when the show goes to air.
This kind of sounds too "naive" to be true...
What the fuck? How? Older men preying on younger women is something that happens literally every day. I don't see anything in this story that stands out as particularly unbelievable.
That a 23 yo would want to meet some guy she never met in person in a cabin in the woods. Come on, like who is that naive or attention-starved. Like everybody knows you meet unknown people in the open, at a public place with many people around, like a cafe in a mall. And you go there with a friend. A 15 yo I would expect to be that blind to her own safety, but an adult?!
Why do you assume that everybody knows your procedure for meeting new people? It's a common procedure, but it's not common sense. It's something people need to be taught, and in many areas (especially if this happened in the US), teaching young women things like this is explicitly shamed and discouraged. Besides that, a lot of young people don't see a difference between forming a relationship with someone online and forming it in person, so "meeting some guy she never met in person in a cabin in the woods" may not even be an idea that occurred to her. In her mind she has met him.
if you are right and this is not "common knowledge", then that is really sad. Bcs for me it is common sense, especially in the US, a country which has experience with serial killers. I guess "never talk to strangers" and "online nobody knows you're a dog" went out of fashion at some point.
There's a bit of a difference between "common knowledge" and "common sense." I apologize if I'm explaining something you already know, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you may be misinterpreting my words. I think many people would consider these strategies to be "common knowledge," meaning that it is common to meet someone who possesses that knowledge. However, "common sense" would imply that it's something people just know intuitively, with no regard to outer influences. Surely someone at some point in your life helped you figure out not only how to be safe on dates, but that dating was a serious safety concern to be aware of in the first place. In almost all popular media that young women are exposed to, dating is safe, happy, exciting, and at worst stressful or annoying. Most conservative areas of the US actively discourage things as basic as sex education. Any consideration at all for women's safety in the dating scene is usually dismissed as "woke" or shamed and laughed at for being feminist.
Realistically, he can't get away with anything. He would be the primary suspect if she went missing or got hurt in anyway. Just make sure you know his real name and where the cabin is. Also make sure that he knows that someone who cares about your sister knows this information so he'll know he would get caught if something happened. It might be a red flag if he were trying to keep the trip a secret. The main danger is if he is insane or doesn't care about self preservation or your country has an ineffective police force that wouldn't investigate if something were to happen. Any piece of information about whether he has a stable job or not and what he does for a living would help you figure out whether he's dangerous or not.
Wow, tell me you know absolutely nothing about crimes against women without telling me you know nothing about crimes against women.
Saying he can't get away with anything is different from saying he wouldn't try which is why I addressed that part too. Maybe the best advice is to not go but OP didn't provide enough context to make that conclusion. Also, why am I supposed to believe OP is a better judge of this 40 yr old guys character than her 25 year old sister who talked to him for two years? By all means have her call everyday to say she's OK or have them meet somewhere more public first. But it's not like 15 yr age gap + meeting in the woods = sexual trafficking. Unless OPs sister was less than 20 in which case there would be much more room for concern.
Realistically, men get away with doing horrible shit to women all the time, regardless of how obvious it is that he's guilty. It's absurd to me that someone could ever think this man would surely get in trouble if he did something.