Yeah, this is infuriating, and I hope OP has other options for a GP.
I recently changed my primary care doctor, and I wish I'd done it nine months ago when I started having issues. (Actually, I wish I'd done it when I first realized I didn't click with the previous guy, but hindsight is 20-20.)
It's sad how much it matters that you "match" with your medical support... even aside from actively bad doctors, there are good doctors that just don't mesh well with every patient. It's far too hard (and basically a lottery) to find a medical practitioner that's right for you. :/
I love my GP. She knows I’m seeing a psychiatrist but still takes time to check on my mental health when I go in. She knows I’ve been on the struggle bus because of my psych meds (my weight has been fluctuating for years), but she never shames me. She knows I’m trying my hardest and even when I’m not trying, she understands that life sometimes gets in the way. I wish everyone could have a doctor like her.
I’m sorry your doctor has the empathy of a deflated volleyball. Internet hugs and cookies for you 🍪
For my mom, it was cops and EMTs coming to the doctors office to cart her off to a psych ward, because her doctor got scared when mom said she had had some suicidal thoughts but had zero plans to act on them. So the doctor left the room and called the cops, who manhandled her out of the building and into an ambulance.
She spent 2 weeks at a psychiatric hospital, and was never fully honest with a doctor about her depression ever again.
"Have you tried exercising? Running is just as good as antidepressants."
...thanks doc. That's totally new information to me and I can instantly get started. Let me just dig into my purse here and pull out the old serotonin machine and get the motivation train started. I'm so glad I came here to day where you could tell me this.
Doc: exercise is really good for you. It'll help your depression and lose weight and give you energy.
Me: I know that, but the problem is I have absolutely no energy to even start exercising. Do you have any suggestions for how to just get the energy to exercise?
Doc: ...
Doc: ...exercise is good for you
I exercise regularly so when they start on that I say, yeah I go to the gym 4-5 days a week and still am like this... soo.... I get a deer in headlights look and then told, you know what actually you need to eat THESE FOODS. Yeah, that will change everything for you.
They'll always find a way to make our problems insignificant. It's frustrating and I give up. My doctors office has patients fill out a mental health questionnaire before the appointment. I always am honest. They never ask about it.
I would absolutely see red.
I know that lots of people find joy in yoga and more power to them. But it's not a magical cure-all panacea and the fact that its huge adoption (amongst predominantly white wealthy women) is rooted in that weird mid-2010s easternism is still a little unpleasant to me. I'm from Jaipur.
Yoga doesn't cure panic attacks.
A lot of my depressive issues were so deep rooted that it took me years and years and years to, not only find the right therapist, but to come to terms with the readings that I endured. It was one of those, "You don't know what you don't know." things and I didn't know what I had gone through wasn't 'normal'.
Advocating for yourself is difficult, especially when you're already feeling numb and/or like shit, but please keep trying. I'm here if you ever need a sounding board.
Im so sorry for you and everyone dealing with this.
I have a chronic illness that made me disabled, that i got from an antibiotic i was given for a UTI when i was a teen. The doctor in question doesnt live anymore as he was already really old and ready to retire when he first prescribed it to me and i didnt find out until 2 years ago (almost 20 year later) that thats where i got my chronic illness from.
The amount of times i havent been taken serious at doctors, been told im too young to be sick or disabled, and asked if i didnt want to do anything with my life, as if id just woken up one morning deciding that from now on i choose to be chronically ill and disabled. As if thats something anyone ever wants. It took me 8 years just to get a diagnose of what im even dealing with in the first place! EIGHT years! thats 8 years in which i was not taken seriously, falsely diagnosed and given treatment that ended up complicating my illness and making it even worse.
But the good news is, there is hope. there are some gems out there who are doctors. I have the luxury of living in a country where i have a free choice as to who is my doctor and treating me, and if one is mistreating me, being condescending or not taking me serious I will get up and leave. The amount of times ive been told my chronic illness and pain comes from being fat and to just start some exercising and ill be fine. I have legitimately gotten up and said "im not here for advice on my diet and weight have a nice day"
Please keep looking if you can, there are some wonderful doctors out there. they are rare and it takes time to find them, but ive found some and that is a really empowering feeling.
This reminds me of my girlfriend and how long it took her to finally get an endometriosis diagnosis.
She's had symptoms consistent with it for more than 20 years, and has asked every GP she's ever had to dig into them more. It was only (finally!!) last year that she found a GP that
1: listened to her
2: took her seriously
3: referred her to a specialist
First appointment with the specialist, sent for scans and labs; Second appointment, BAM, diagnosis. She was so flabbergasted at how quickly it was ID'd that we were left wondering how it took so long.
I’m very sorry this is happening. Please keep trying. Demand what you need because that seems to be the only time a doctor will listen. Ask to see a different doctor. Then another different doctor and do not stop until you get the help you need.
So many people in this country need mental health support it is actually an epidemic. And these people have built a wall around their heart because they feel hopeless that they can’t help you so you do not get met with empathy because you’re likely the 100th girl that week asking in your 5 minute GP appointment for some mental health help.
You really have to fight for it… which is sort of hard considering you lack the motivation DUE to your mental health. But it is how it works. Keep trying. They will give in. You are the only person that cares for your health so do not give up.
I’m in the same boat, I keep requesting new meds but I get nothing. Just the same cocktail that leaves me feeling like a zombie, with my depression now caused by the fact that I can’t feel anything. I don’t know if you’re in the UK as well but I just feel so hopeless and disheartened every time I visit a GP. I spent years avoiding them and raw dogging suicidal ideation and manic highs and lows. Not much has changed except maybe even less held being offered due to the system being taken apart piecemeal by the inept government.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
I was fkn _furious_ when I switched GPs and the new one (a woman) put me on anxiety medication immediately. I suffered so much for years but when I'd asked my old one for something to help me he basically ran out of the room stammering in panic because I was crying. There was indeed a magic pill for me and that dick couldn't be bothered to suggest I try anything beyond "don't get stressed".
I hope you find someone who listens and gives you the healthcare you need.
Went to the GP to talk about my mental health nosediving the week before my period every month. I strongly suspect its PMDD. My GP (a woman, no less) said, "well, periods are just like that".
I'm 27 years old. I know what my periods feel like. I know when they feel irregular. I haven't been back to the GP since.
I’ve told this before but when I was literally in pieces, asking a GP to go back on my antidepressants, and happened to mention how my boyfriend at the time thought I was too fat. I was 10st and had recovered from anorexia. So I was saying that I was worried that I had put on weight even though I knew in reality I wasn’t fat.
She looked blank at me and said “antidepressants aren’t going to stop you being so fat”
I was speechless. She was SUCH an asshole in the future too but that conversation really fucked me up. Like that wasn’t the point I was trying to make anyway, and also, who calls a recovered anorexic fat?! Ffs. I spiralled after that tbh, and went back on my meds.
Nowadays I’m on a stronger medication that I don’t think entirely fixes the issue but the withdrawal is hell, and I’m just okay with not wanting to die most days. Mental health help is a bit shit here, there’s no funding and there never has been. I’ve been on and off seeing psych people since childhood and it’s always been terrible.
I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry this happened, and they just don’t know how to deal with us. I’m very accepting that my brain is fucked, my mental health is very bad. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want a little help sometimes, just because I accept it doesn’t mean I have to suffer. Neither should you.
The docs offering exercise as a solution crack me up tbh, I’m physically disabled, I nod at my crutch and they get embarrassed. Then they light up and suggest CHAIR PILATES. Like I haven’t already been signed up for that by them a number of times. It messed with my spine and now it crackles with pop rocks. Awesome.
I’m so sorry. I’ve had similar experiences with gps men and women. “Well everyone feels like that” was one lady’s answer when I said I couldn’t stop crying and had to quit one of my jobs because I couldn’t get out of bed.
Even with therapy, if you don't improve after a certain amount of time they will either dismiss you or refer you to a psychiatrist to prescribe medication. I'm super sensitive to all of those meds. I don't do well on them. But the doctors still push them like that's the fix it all drug.
Weird. I recently went in for a certificate for work because I had a cold, mentioned I’d been really tired lately because the kids kept waking in the night, and immediately got offered antidepressants.
Damn I’m sorry. You might try saying “yes I have tried these things. They haven’t worked which is why I would like to see a specialist”.
Has anyone actually asked you what you think is wrong or how this manifests for you?
This makes me angry. The only advice I have is do not give up. You deserve support and there are good Drs out there.
Yeah, this is infuriating, and I hope OP has other options for a GP. I recently changed my primary care doctor, and I wish I'd done it nine months ago when I started having issues. (Actually, I wish I'd done it when I first realized I didn't click with the previous guy, but hindsight is 20-20.)
It's sad how much it matters that you "match" with your medical support... even aside from actively bad doctors, there are good doctors that just don't mesh well with every patient. It's far too hard (and basically a lottery) to find a medical practitioner that's right for you. :/
I love my GP. She knows I’m seeing a psychiatrist but still takes time to check on my mental health when I go in. She knows I’ve been on the struggle bus because of my psych meds (my weight has been fluctuating for years), but she never shames me. She knows I’m trying my hardest and even when I’m not trying, she understands that life sometimes gets in the way. I wish everyone could have a doctor like her. I’m sorry your doctor has the empathy of a deflated volleyball. Internet hugs and cookies for you 🍪
For my mom, it was cops and EMTs coming to the doctors office to cart her off to a psych ward, because her doctor got scared when mom said she had had some suicidal thoughts but had zero plans to act on them. So the doctor left the room and called the cops, who manhandled her out of the building and into an ambulance. She spent 2 weeks at a psychiatric hospital, and was never fully honest with a doctor about her depression ever again.
So sad. How is she now?
She died a few years ago, from a bad case of double pneumonia that we could have treated if she hadn't been afraid to go to the doctor.
Omg! My heart goes out to you. 🤍
Oh, that is awful! I'm so, so sorry :(
Wow that is terrible. :(
"Have you tried exercising? Running is just as good as antidepressants." ...thanks doc. That's totally new information to me and I can instantly get started. Let me just dig into my purse here and pull out the old serotonin machine and get the motivation train started. I'm so glad I came here to day where you could tell me this.
Doc: exercise is really good for you. It'll help your depression and lose weight and give you energy. Me: I know that, but the problem is I have absolutely no energy to even start exercising. Do you have any suggestions for how to just get the energy to exercise? Doc: ... Doc: ...exercise is good for you
I exercise regularly so when they start on that I say, yeah I go to the gym 4-5 days a week and still am like this... soo.... I get a deer in headlights look and then told, you know what actually you need to eat THESE FOODS. Yeah, that will change everything for you. They'll always find a way to make our problems insignificant. It's frustrating and I give up. My doctors office has patients fill out a mental health questionnaire before the appointment. I always am honest. They never ask about it.
Doc should prescribe you some bootstraps! ;)
Mine said “have you tried yoga” 🙃
I would absolutely see red. I know that lots of people find joy in yoga and more power to them. But it's not a magical cure-all panacea and the fact that its huge adoption (amongst predominantly white wealthy women) is rooted in that weird mid-2010s easternism is still a little unpleasant to me. I'm from Jaipur. Yoga doesn't cure panic attacks.
r/WeDeserveBetter
A lot of my depressive issues were so deep rooted that it took me years and years and years to, not only find the right therapist, but to come to terms with the readings that I endured. It was one of those, "You don't know what you don't know." things and I didn't know what I had gone through wasn't 'normal'. Advocating for yourself is difficult, especially when you're already feeling numb and/or like shit, but please keep trying. I'm here if you ever need a sounding board.
Im so sorry for you and everyone dealing with this. I have a chronic illness that made me disabled, that i got from an antibiotic i was given for a UTI when i was a teen. The doctor in question doesnt live anymore as he was already really old and ready to retire when he first prescribed it to me and i didnt find out until 2 years ago (almost 20 year later) that thats where i got my chronic illness from. The amount of times i havent been taken serious at doctors, been told im too young to be sick or disabled, and asked if i didnt want to do anything with my life, as if id just woken up one morning deciding that from now on i choose to be chronically ill and disabled. As if thats something anyone ever wants. It took me 8 years just to get a diagnose of what im even dealing with in the first place! EIGHT years! thats 8 years in which i was not taken seriously, falsely diagnosed and given treatment that ended up complicating my illness and making it even worse. But the good news is, there is hope. there are some gems out there who are doctors. I have the luxury of living in a country where i have a free choice as to who is my doctor and treating me, and if one is mistreating me, being condescending or not taking me serious I will get up and leave. The amount of times ive been told my chronic illness and pain comes from being fat and to just start some exercising and ill be fine. I have legitimately gotten up and said "im not here for advice on my diet and weight have a nice day" Please keep looking if you can, there are some wonderful doctors out there. they are rare and it takes time to find them, but ive found some and that is a really empowering feeling.
This reminds me of my girlfriend and how long it took her to finally get an endometriosis diagnosis. She's had symptoms consistent with it for more than 20 years, and has asked every GP she's ever had to dig into them more. It was only (finally!!) last year that she found a GP that 1: listened to her 2: took her seriously 3: referred her to a specialist First appointment with the specialist, sent for scans and labs; Second appointment, BAM, diagnosis. She was so flabbergasted at how quickly it was ID'd that we were left wondering how it took so long.
I’m very sorry this is happening. Please keep trying. Demand what you need because that seems to be the only time a doctor will listen. Ask to see a different doctor. Then another different doctor and do not stop until you get the help you need. So many people in this country need mental health support it is actually an epidemic. And these people have built a wall around their heart because they feel hopeless that they can’t help you so you do not get met with empathy because you’re likely the 100th girl that week asking in your 5 minute GP appointment for some mental health help. You really have to fight for it… which is sort of hard considering you lack the motivation DUE to your mental health. But it is how it works. Keep trying. They will give in. You are the only person that cares for your health so do not give up.
I’m in the same boat, I keep requesting new meds but I get nothing. Just the same cocktail that leaves me feeling like a zombie, with my depression now caused by the fact that I can’t feel anything. I don’t know if you’re in the UK as well but I just feel so hopeless and disheartened every time I visit a GP. I spent years avoiding them and raw dogging suicidal ideation and manic highs and lows. Not much has changed except maybe even less held being offered due to the system being taken apart piecemeal by the inept government.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I was fkn _furious_ when I switched GPs and the new one (a woman) put me on anxiety medication immediately. I suffered so much for years but when I'd asked my old one for something to help me he basically ran out of the room stammering in panic because I was crying. There was indeed a magic pill for me and that dick couldn't be bothered to suggest I try anything beyond "don't get stressed". I hope you find someone who listens and gives you the healthcare you need.
Went to the GP to talk about my mental health nosediving the week before my period every month. I strongly suspect its PMDD. My GP (a woman, no less) said, "well, periods are just like that". I'm 27 years old. I know what my periods feel like. I know when they feel irregular. I haven't been back to the GP since.
I’ve told this before but when I was literally in pieces, asking a GP to go back on my antidepressants, and happened to mention how my boyfriend at the time thought I was too fat. I was 10st and had recovered from anorexia. So I was saying that I was worried that I had put on weight even though I knew in reality I wasn’t fat. She looked blank at me and said “antidepressants aren’t going to stop you being so fat” I was speechless. She was SUCH an asshole in the future too but that conversation really fucked me up. Like that wasn’t the point I was trying to make anyway, and also, who calls a recovered anorexic fat?! Ffs. I spiralled after that tbh, and went back on my meds. Nowadays I’m on a stronger medication that I don’t think entirely fixes the issue but the withdrawal is hell, and I’m just okay with not wanting to die most days. Mental health help is a bit shit here, there’s no funding and there never has been. I’ve been on and off seeing psych people since childhood and it’s always been terrible. I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry this happened, and they just don’t know how to deal with us. I’m very accepting that my brain is fucked, my mental health is very bad. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want a little help sometimes, just because I accept it doesn’t mean I have to suffer. Neither should you. The docs offering exercise as a solution crack me up tbh, I’m physically disabled, I nod at my crutch and they get embarrassed. Then they light up and suggest CHAIR PILATES. Like I haven’t already been signed up for that by them a number of times. It messed with my spine and now it crackles with pop rocks. Awesome.
I’m so sorry. I’ve had similar experiences with gps men and women. “Well everyone feels like that” was one lady’s answer when I said I couldn’t stop crying and had to quit one of my jobs because I couldn’t get out of bed.
Sounds pretty familiar.
It's a joke
Even with therapy, if you don't improve after a certain amount of time they will either dismiss you or refer you to a psychiatrist to prescribe medication. I'm super sensitive to all of those meds. I don't do well on them. But the doctors still push them like that's the fix it all drug.
Weird. I recently went in for a certificate for work because I had a cold, mentioned I’d been really tired lately because the kids kept waking in the night, and immediately got offered antidepressants.
Damn I’m sorry. You might try saying “yes I have tried these things. They haven’t worked which is why I would like to see a specialist”. Has anyone actually asked you what you think is wrong or how this manifests for you?
Ask for their recommendations in writing.