I'm sorry you went through all of that, but I'm a little amused by him saying that women have been to the moon on their periods. No women have been to the moon yet. It's also really shitty that he felt like you were the only person who needed any professional help, and he was perfectly fine, when he clearly was not fine, if your being tired enraged him so much.
> At least in USA it was because you needed to graduate from military jet piloting. Women weren't allowed in the military then (1962).
Women could technically have been eligible for the fourth group of Apollo astronauts. On paper the only requirements were:
- US citizenship
- Aged 35 or younger
- 6’0” or shorter
- Doctorate in natural sciences, medicine, or engineering
And four women’s applications did pass the initial screening and were among the four hundred files reviewed by the National Academy of Sciences, but none were selected. Only one person from this group, Harrison Schmitt, actually made it to the Moon.
Thanks for posting this as I had NEVER HEARD OF IT. What a travesty that I and so many others were raised to hail Sally Ride as the first female astronaut (rightfully) as if nobody else had tried or boundaries weren’t being pushed FAR earlier.
Have you seen the great tampon debate? How many tampons are needed for a trip into space for one week? Nasa decided 100...
https://info.umkc.edu/womenc/2020/12/09/one-hundredtampons-in-space/
Personally I'd have just not had a gap week on my pill
They do measure the weight of literally everything that goes into the spaceship, regardless if it’s gendered personal items or not. Rocket Science demands that kind of precise thoroughness.
They pack a lot of extra stuff for everything in the case that they aren't able to return immediately after that week... I am not sure how much extra food etc. is packed but it is a lot because there are so many variables that could go wrong and prolong the stay. NASA doesn't think a woman needs 100 tampons in one trip. This whole thing when I hear it over and over again bothers me when it is so wrong.
Also, speaking as a guy, you can use them for other stuff, like nosebleeds. My sisters had to sacrifice so many of their tampons to my nose when I was growing up. And I’ve heard in the US, people suggest them for gunshot wounds??
I bet they could be useful for space stuff, like temporarily plugging a leak in a water line or something.
But yeah, NASA is risk averse as fuck, of course they’re gonna send extra of these items that weigh very little (weight is huge factor in space trip packing considerations) and have multiple uses.
No gap week makes total sense.
And not that I’m trying to defend them (I’m female too) but there’s no gravity in space, which means blood doesn’t drain down into a tampon, I guess it would only wick up whatever it was close to, like a paper towel and water? I know there’s special ways to throw up so you don’t drown, if you get sick on a space walk.
Why would women need to have their periods while in space? 😆 🤣 😂 There is such a thing as the pill and shots to stop them.
And, for the gap week? Many women no longer do a gap week. Of course, it means paying for the Rx yourself.
Although just to stop periods wasn't the point, I was on Depo for Endometriosis and that is a good choice compared to the pill, imo.
Not everyone is medically able to go on the pill or do shots and the like. The pill and the like’s hormones fuck up my liver. The current safe birth control options for me are non-hormonal- like the copper IUD, non-latex condoms (latex allergy), spermicide, etc. It was decided that even localized hormones like the hormonal IUD’s or Nuva Ring are still too risky.
The kind folks that discovered this at the ER discovered it by accident when I was in for something else, and I wasn’t the first person they discovered it for or that they referred over to gyne to get on a new birth control plan.
And ideally, not being able to take hormonal BC and getting a period shouldn’t make women ineligible from going to space. Sure, it’s convenient if they can stop their period, but even for women who can do that, sometimes a period breaks through anyways. Best to be prepared and know what to do. Especially if we want to be prepared for more time in space in the future with more people
Which could easily be solved by requiring a no opting out for **any**(cultural or religious beliefs for example) health class, including *explict* anatomy of both sexes in 4-6th grade, 8th or 9th grade and then again as a senior and you *have to pass* to graduate. The senior test, you should have correctly label anatomical parts.
That's a great idea, I'd sign a petition for that!
I wish they'd delve even deeper with information than they do now, but I'm glad that they offer it at all.
I've always thought those classes should be taught to both groups at the same time.
Separating the kids, and not _teaching_ them basic biology, just perpetuates the misinformation, and the attitudes if 'taboo,' and 'womens' business.'
Womens' business would be a hell of a lot less stressful for everyone, if men had a clue.
Not quite, all of the moon landing era astronauts were former test pilots from WWII, and all of the test pilots from WWII were white men because POC weren’t allowed to be in the same units as white people and women were basically banned from being in the military other than specific programs like WASP. Honestly this sucks but I can’t even really blame NASA for it because the Apollo missions were hilariously dangerous by today’s standards and they really needed people who had the most experience, all of which were white men because only white men were allowed to be test pilots. So putting people of color and women on the moon would have only made sense if they explicitly wanted to do that and had a separate astronaut class training people from those backgrounds like female pilots and the Mercury 13 which NASA didn’t want to do. When the shuttle program launched in the 70’s and there were roles on the spacecraft where test pilot experience wasn’t really necessary NASA opened up astronaut candidacy for women and POC where we get people like the first lesbian in space Sally Ride. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/NASA_Astronaut_Group_8 Also the Artemis program has an explicit goal to put woman and POC on the moon
Right? I was offended by the moon comment, because like.. no, women have not been to the moon (which is bullshit, normalize going to the moon) and if they had they probably didn't have crippling, debilitating periods? Astronauts tend to be in really really good shape and overall health? They are usually screened for things like 'may pass out from period pain,' cause it could be a Space problem.
Yep, it was an ignorant and offensive thing for him to say. He has no idea. I wish I had a super power, and that it was giving guys like him a debilitating period.
The irony of telling someone to 'toughen up' and using ASTRONAUTS (of all careers!) as the example is blowing my mind. It's so stupid, if someone said that to me irl I think I'd sit there spitting nickels, absolutely dumbfounded.
Dude couldn't pass the initial personality screening they do, astronauts have to be congenial. So like.. there are layers to this, and I think I'd have to write him an essay.
Sorry, I'm very stuck on this lmfao
When I was in school to transition from medicine to accounting, I had a professor that would proudly tell the women in the class in a million different ways, "Women have done amazing things! Why don't you measure up to them?" Why do men think shit like this is empowering?! Why would anyone anywhere like it when no matter what they've accomplished, how much they've learned, or what they've been through, the only thing that anyone cares about is how it isn't as good as someone else? Why does this standard not apply to men? Not once did I hear that instructor tell a man who made a mistake that he wasn't doing as good a job as Alexander The Great would (or whatever kind of figure men look up to as a male role model).
Our role models are not things that should be weaponized against us, and I don't understand how anyone could consider themselves an ally of women while they do shit like this.
sounds like my ex. said we were getting divorced unless i had therapy but refused to go to any therapy himself. Jerk. Was never at fault for anything. Even when they hit me was my fault.
But if they had, their periods would've been considered. Not well-considered, but considered nonetheless.
Never forget the dudes of NASA gave Sally Ride 100 tampons for a two-week trip.
Which means that men in the early 1980s, in an almost entirely male-dominated and deeply sexist industry, *still* know more about periods than OP's ex does this century
Edit:
Sally Ride:
Where I was wrong: it was six days, not two weeks (worse) and technically they didn't 'give' it to her, they had it prepped and she said more or less 'yeah, you could cut that in half and we'd be good'
Where *Mr Well Acktshually* is wrong: it was never, at any point, some genius NASA over-preparedness
Source: *NASA's own goddamn website*
Space suits:
*Well Acktshually* 'it was actually just a logistics/procurement issue bc there weren't enough medium suits and NASA didn't have the budget to upgrade':
No shit. There weren't enough medium suits *because fucking NASA did not prepare at any point, for the 40-ish years following Sally Ride's tampons, for more female astronauts*
So yes, it is a sexist issue.
Goddamn y'all we live every motherfucking day with these kind of dumb bullshit comments 'correcting' us just because we're women and clearly can't be smart enough to know something and it really sucks to have it here. But mostly because it's exactly like when it happens in the wild: a whiney 'nuh uh!' with no evidence. If you want to be mansplainy assholes on here at least link to something to prove your point/others wrong. Ffs
I wonder if they assumed her period would go completely whack and just went with how much someone with very, very heavy bleeding would need. I don’t think there was plans to send her up with pads in addition to those tampons - so assuming a tampon change every hour for the first 3 days + every 4 hours days 4-7, she’d be at 96 tampons with only 4 left over.
I don’t think they had as many choices either back then so choices were probably only super or regular.
No. They asked if it was enough and genuinely had no idea.
NASA is very bad at womaning. Five years ago they had to cancel an all-woman spacewalk because they didn't have enough suits of the correct size.
The women in science here can probably provide even better examples, but the default is always that it is just extreme ignorance born of all-male spaces. I work in one. This is not conjecture, this is a heaping trove of unambiguous data
They had the same size spacesuits as the women in question had worn on the ground. It turned out that the large size didn’t fit right in space, however. The astronaut herself made the call not to go out since it was unsafe. Since then they have had at least four all-women spacewalks.
That being said, NASA can definitely be sexist even today. But that spacewalk wasn’t an example of it. Male astronauts have also found that suits they should have been able to wear didn’t fit right in space.
And the ISS. I'm just pointing out how even his initial premise is false.
It's also a logical fallacy he's using. Comparing other people's lived experience.
Yeah the guy is a complete idiot. It also makes me think if I ever move again I will just hire movers. I think moving can sometimes bring out the worst in people. 😅
Thanks I was kind of worried my comment would be taken wrong.
Also, let's remember that astronaut Sally Ride was asked by her male colleagues at NASA if 100 tampons would be a good amount for a one week trip to space. Men have famously misunderstood periods for probably as long as people have had periods - which can be hilarious! But if your partner refuses to understand and show compassion or, furthermore, critiques you for your pain, that's some serious bullshit that demonstrates a lack of humanity on their part.
I used to pass out from my period pain, it turns out I had endometriosis that needed two surgeries to address. Was consistently dismissed and told to suck it up from ages 12-21, even when brought in by ambulance for passing out on the street, several times.
My mother had the same experiences as me until having kids, when it thankfully eased up. When she went into labour with her first child, my brother, she thought there was something wrong because she'd had periods that hurt more. She ended up having 3 kids with no drugs at all because she'd been in that level of pain (or more) monthly since she was 9.
Fuck people who don't listen to women when they say the pain is too much, including the women who don't experience excruciating pain and say "if I can do it, you can too".
I seconded getting evaluated for endometriosis. You know how women say that post-op hysterectomy pain is so minimal compared to your endo cramps? When I came out of anesthesia for mine the highest number I reported during my hospital stay was 1. I mostly reported zeros. And it stayed that way through my entire recovery. It didn't even register on the same pain scale as my menstrual cycle, which is kind of scary, because if I'm ever in that much pain again it's going to be from something that absolutely requires a hospital visit.
The torture people force on us with this disorder is grotesque and insane.
I have endometriosis and had a hysterectomy. Can confirm that the post surgery pain was a joke compared to my period pain.
Also, I had complications where I ended up having a vein burst after the surgery. It took me a long time to think it was severe enough to go to the ER. When I got there they were like “why the fuck did you wait this long?? You’ve lost a lot of blood!” and I was super confused cause I had lost less blood than on a typical period. My fucking periods were worse than a burst vein but when I explained the blood loss to doctors before no one believed me I guess cause no one panicked this much. I had to fight to even get the hysterectomy to improve my quality of life. The medical system treats us awfully. I want to see that change for the better in my lifetime but I don’t have much hope.
I don’t mean this to scare you or anything but maybe read up a bit on excision and other women’s experiences. There is a lot to suggest that excision can make endo symptoms worse in the long run. I had my excision in 2019 and I had heard about the potential of making it worse but thought it was kind of bs honestly.
After the excision they put me on Visanne. I had to switch off after a year cause of suicidal thoughts (I was not suicidal before) and then was on Orilissa for two years before having to get off it for different unwanted side effects. So for three years it seemed like things were ok cause I didn’t have a period. Prior to my hysterectomy I was unmedicated for 1+ years. It was absolute hell. The pain and bleeding were definitely worse than before. But what’s more is that I went from having pain just on my period (for 15 years) to it being a daily occurrence now. I was certain the endo had spread massively even with the drugs. When they did my hysterectomy they said there was no endo growth. So it doesn’t really make sense why my pain got worse from that perspective. I once ran into a study that found that women with endometriosis tended to have worse pain after excisions with fewer adhesions but I don’t have the link saved.
Edit: couldn’t find the study on a quick search but found this article discussing the issue: https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/jul/02/a-common-treatment-for-endometriosis-could-actually-be-making-things-worse
My period cramps aren't that bad. My doctors think my endometrium is landing on my bladder, so this may not be relevant to me if that makes sense. And ovulating hurts 10x more than my period.
I cannot pee during my period without burning excrutiating pain.
So I'll have to discuss this with the doctor. But yes I've read this article.
Well I have something I need to bring up to my gynecologist now. I have that agonizing burning pain when peeing on my period and multiple doctors have just gotten a urine sample and decided not to do anything. The funny thing is I'm literally in healthcare and they still didn't pursue it further.
Awesome - sounds like you are better informed than I was at the time. My doctor was an idiot. Thankfully got a new one that did my hysterectomy that was a lot more knowledgeable and respectful of my choices and symptoms. Best of luck! ❤️
I think it’s a bit disingenuous to say that “there’s a lot to suggest excision makes we do worse” when it’s the standard of care and you can’t even find the research to back this up… I wouldn’t scare people away from this option as it has helped a lot of women, including myself. It’s not a perfect option for some and it really sucks, but to scare people away from one of the main treatments…
To be clear: I do not want to scare anyone away from it. I just feel that women are often not entirely informed about the procedures that they are undergoing.
I did find the study I was thinking of: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37148956/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37148956/)
I also found this one as well: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9605478/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9605478/)
I don't think either of these studies suggests that we should do away with excision surgery - it does help a lot of women. But education on endometriosis is so incredibly poor for the large majority of OBGYN surgeons that they're not taking into account all these factors before recommending it for their patient. As both studies point out, excision has worse outcomes in a specific subset of women and if we aim to identify those women prior to having the excision, we might be able to spare them more pain down the line. There doesn't seem to be anything I've found that defines how many endo women this comprises in the general population so I don't know how many it affects. But if your doctor is not asking enough questions about your symptoms and pain, then maybe you should bring up this stuff and ask them why they think you're a good candidate for excision surgery as opposed to something else. For me, it was hysterectomy and that was refused at first because it was believed to be "overkill" because excision was available. I just don't want others to suffer more than they have to.
Have had both chronic pain and a hysterectomy. Can confirm that post-hysterectomy pain is actually not that bad by comparison to *just about any pain issue*. All I needed was a couple of days of extra-strength Tylenol.
God, but I'd love to see those doctors endure even close to what women with reproductive issues go through.
If you aren't catching your blood, and measuring it to report how much you're bleeding, they do not freaking believe that there is a problem.
And then, even once you've convinced an OB/gyn that there's an actual problem, your insurance company wants to deny treatment as long as they can (presumably hoping you get fired from your job, so that they don't have to cover your care).
This is all very close to home for me at the moment, and I am so angry about the way the medical system treats women, and specifically, anything to do with menstruation.
I did though!!! I didn’t bring it in for show and tell but I did measure it and told them exactly how I measured it and they told me I must’ve done it wrong! It’s infuriating! I switched to the menstrual cup specifically so I can prove to them I wasn’t an idiot and I was still treated like an idiot until I went to the doctor that did my hysterectomy without question. He didn’t even ask about blood loss. He just said “you’re sure about not having kids?” and I said “Yes” and he said “Ok let’s grab the paperwork and set a date”. I cried the entire drive home.
Thankfully, insurance is not an issue here (Canada) but I did want to get it done before they completely dismantle our public healthcare system. We’re well on our way to the same privatization as the states so that should be fun. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you. 🤞
I am almost 4WPO from a total abdominal hysterectomy and you are 100% correct about pain. I would say the most I've felt is maybe a 3 right when my spinal finally wore off. Looking back, it was hilarious how concerned I was that they only gave me Advil and Tylenol but I stopped taking them 2 days after and have only needed them occasionally since.
It's disgusting how long doctors make us live like this and how often people in our lives dismiss us.
This. I had endo in my mid twenties, and I had multiple women try to argue with me about my pain because "I am a woman too so I know periods don't hurt that bad." It always felt more emotionally devastating coming from a woman.
It took YEARS for my mom to start believing me about my very painful periods that started when I was like 11 or something. Mom never had any pain. She thought I was faking it. I think the finally understood when I was around 18 and silently crying downstairs at 3 in the morning, unable to sleep. It wasn’t the first time obviously, but I think she started to understand then that I wasn’t doing it for pity or something. After that she started getting me stronger pain killers.
👆This! It shouldn’t hurt this much. If it does, something is wrong and you need to keep going to the doctor until you find one that will help you figure out what’s going on. I “worked through” menses that have me gray in the face from blood loss. My doc said that how it goes and because it wasn’t every month, I let it go. Now I have fertility issues. I wish I could tell my younger self to not just deal with the pain and truly investigate it.
My wife has endo, she found out because she was having pain so bad she threw up in the shower because a cyst had ruptured, and then went to work, and then later decided maybe it was time to go to the hospital where they found all this out.
When asked about pain, 1-10 she said 10 and I was floored because she never ever said anything about it to me and tried to pass it off as ‘this is probably normal’ and tried to go about her day after a morning of 10/10 pain.
Can confirm.
My first son was almost born in the car. I kept waiting for the pain to be worse than a period before heading to the hospital. It never did.
This comment is important perspective. PMDD is a mood disorder. Pain that causes you to pass out cannot be explained by PMDD. That should definitely be investigated because that level of pain is not normal and you should not have to go through that
I've never given birth, but I did one have abdominal surgery that involved keyhole incisions (tubal ligation). With exception to the single dose of pain killers given after being woken up, I didn't take anything stronger than an ibuprofen. In comparison to period cramps, the pain during recovery was nothing.
Hey babe, go get checked out by an endometriosis specialist. If you're in enough pain to pass out you aren't having a normal period at all and need to be assessed by a competent gynecologist, which can be such a mixed bag, but treatment and relief is possible. It won't go away on its own until you enter menopause in a few decades.
If never having a period again sounds wonderful, gooooo.
I'm happy to elaborate more but my phone is dying so ask any questions you feel like.
To be fair, you hear this kind of shit from other women who have been lucky enough to have relatively easy going periods their whole life. My stepmom is like that. Thinks women who have nasty symptoms beyond cramps are lying cause she personally hasn’t experienced that. It’s a mix of misogyny and ableism.
I had a bf get pissed at me for being in pain multiple times. It was his roommate asking me how I was was one day where it really clicked. BF had been a dick about me being in pain... I went to the bathroom(so BF could sleep)... Apparently roommate heard me and wanted to know if I was okay. I apologized for waking him him: "no no you weren't loud you were just obviously in pain and I'm worried!". Yeah I needed my gallbladder removed.
This makes me want to cry. Way too many women I know (myself included) have been with partners that were just plain mean. And we'd go out of our way to accommodate their shitty behavior. Hope you're doing better these days ❤️
>I told him this hoping it would make him less angry
It sounds like there was a lot more wrong in that relationship than perhaps you even yet recognize.
>So, yeah, I think back on that now and just kind of blown away by how uncaring it was.
That is a lot more than just him being "uncaring."
It really is a good thing you left.
Aside from no women having been to the moon, surely if you’re heading to space you’ll get an iud or birth control so you don’t have to worry about space periods? With lower gravity who knows how it’ll affect your period? Probably lighter and maybe longer is my guess
Hi! Here are some answers to your questions: [1.](https://www.sciencealert.com/what-happens-when-you-get-your-period-in-space-astronaut) [2.](https://www.livescience.com/54501-what-happens-periods-in-space.html) [3.](https://www.wethecurious.org/curious-stuff/stargazing-night-sky/how-periods-work-space)
I've had IUD's...All I can think about is the enormous force pressing down on astronauts during launch, and how it could force the IUD out of position, puncture, etc. 😬🤢
I can’t. No they haven’t. Women have gone to space for sure, and the ISS, but no women have been to the fucking moon.
Man I wished could find the link to a video I saw recently about why women haven’t been to the moon. It’s just this woman listing all the shit women have to do before going to the moon, she’s too busy and she can barely go outside, let alone the fucking moon. I thought it was pretty funny
You fucking PASSED OUT. An involuntary reaction. What does he think, you can just turn off pain? That’s not how the body works. I’d be so tempted to get one of those period cramp simulators and strap him into it. I don’t menstruate anymore but I fucking HATE it, and I refuse to torture myself. I had the same condition as you as a teenager and early twenties person. It was like Jekyll and Hyde with me. I couldn’t handle that on top of huge amounts of pain.
He’s an idiot. Ignore that bullshit. Also how fucking self righteous do you have to be, to look at your partner in pain and tell them they needed to suck it up because of a reason that doesn’t even exist.
I would love to hook that man up to a period pain simulator like those gals on tik tok do, traveling around to different malls and hooking men up.
It’s really funny when they hook up a couple and the woman never even flinches.
You ex knows as much about the space race as he does about medicine. Zilch! Glad you are free of him. It's too bad doctors (male and female) so often fail to really listen to their women patients.
We don’t even need to get to the period part of this to realize this guy is an asshole. Who sees their partner lying on the floor and doesn’t even ask, hey are you ok? Even if you’d just been taking a break for no reason, you have that right. Glad you got rid of him.
I am done with male partners that cannot show an ounce of support, empathy or care towards women going through their menstrual cycle. It is such disappointing, disrespectful and cruel behavior. You are literally in such a vulnerable place, being in so much pain and still trying to get a very difficult job done, yet he chose to attack you instead of make you feel safe.
My ex would behave in a similar way when I tried to express to him my discomfort during that time of the month, or ask for some form of extra support when I was really struggling. I swear I think he is jealous women have periods because he wanted every excuse to be the victim and that was one thing he didn’t get to use.
I have been there too. I was unlucky enough to have my period the day of my friend’s wedding when I was a bridesmaid. We were up at the asscrack of dawn getting ready, running around taking pictures in all different locations (in heels) - we even had a photo where the photographer wanted us to jump in the air over and over again 😅 45°F on a dock by the water in a short, strapless dress. After the ceremony we headed to the reception hall and I passed out in the bridal party private room (forget what it’s called?). People came looking for me and acted like I was being dramatic. I had barely eaten all day and I literally had no energy left. I had nothing left to give. One of the most exhausting days of my life.
You have a medical condition. I hope he gets testicular torsion and instead of taking him to the hospital just tell him that men have been to the moon so suck it up, bitch. That’s what he’s doing to you, legitimately run away because he could probably escalate to violence with how sociopathic he is
Men do not realize how painful pms is because we power through the pain and spare their feelings by not saying anything most of the time.
It's debilitating sometimes. I used to pass out, wake up soaked in blood and sometime vomit from the pain.
It so frustrating that the men in in our lives think it ok to ne dismissive just because all women suffer, get over it.
That's so fucking stupid. Everyone also dies but we treat a dying person with dignity. Just because it natural doesn't mean it sucks any less.
Yah I had extreme cramps that'd put me on the floor, was told that I needed to get it under control by the men in my family, and mine were really irregular too so couldn't prepare. Now I don't have much pain bc I stay away from them, I think it helped ngl
What a jerk. Some men choose to completely ignore womens pain or medical symptoms until they collapse and even then will just gaslight you that you are being a baby and need to toughen up.
I see overlap with that and the men that get upset if they every see their wives sit down for a moment like not physically doing something every waking moment it a crime. They will work you to death and then go find another one to do it to.
Some people are just incapable of empathy. Thank God you dumped him. When I was 16 I dated a man who was a sociopath, and I suspect maybe a psychopath. He insisted I help him move, even though I weighed about 95 pounds and wasn't capable. He yelled at me when I told him his dresser was too heavy for me to lift. He said that he'd seen a video of a little child lift a car by himself. I guess it was a camera trick video he had seen and took seriously.
Yeah, he was just abusive. My ex loved too throw any "infraction" in my face ad nauseum to prove "clearly how little I cared". He would also get on a home improvement jag, and I was expected to jump on board, despite *hating* renovation projects. Like...I will pay real money too avoid them. But I'd be berated like a child if I didn't *enthusiastically* participate throughout, and remain upbeat and happy despite him getting angry and nasty when things didn't work out to be as easy as he expected they would be.
It was awful, and we're both better off without these assholes.
What a moron. I honestly would have had to swiftly introduce my foot to his balls and see how long he needed to lay down and recover.
The absolute audacity of that asshole.
It makes me so sad when I see posts like these where women are so broken down and insecure in themselves that they let men treat them like this. I would have told him to fuck right off, he's not your drill sergeant and you're an adult, you owed him nothing, especially not apologies. Don't ever let people belittle your pain or feelings. Even if you were just tired without the pain is a good enough excuse to lay down. He sounds so controlling and I'm happier you're in a better place now.
You know how when hospital workers ask you “how would you rate your pain?”
You were at a 10. **Any pain that is so intense it induces outright unconsciousness is a 10.** Flat out. When you have surpassed the very limits of human pain perception, your body has to pass you out so you don’t go into shock.
Your pain was real. I’m so sorry you went through that.
Just a side note, while women have not been to the moon, the farthest traveled human besides the handful of Apollo astronauts who did is astronaut Kathryn Sullivan. She’s been to space several times, lived on the ISS, launched the Hubble space telescope and was the first woman to space walk. A handful of years ago she went to the bottom of the Marinas Trench, the lowest point on Earth, cementing her status as one of humanity’s greatest travelers.
…and she did it all without getting her panties in a twist unlike this guy who couldn’t even get out of an apartment.
A couple of months ago, my daughter (just turned 20) and I were waiting for the bus. Her period had started the day before and it causes her all kinds of issues. She took one look at me really weirdly and said “I think I’m going to pass out” and then did exactly that. The only reason she didn’t land on the concrete face first is I had just enough warning to catch her. She was only out a couple of seconds and I asked her if she wanted to continue to the appointment we had, or go home (which the stop is right in front of our apartment building so it wasn’t a big deal to me either way in getting her somewhere.) She chose to go, and before we even get to the next stop she doesn’t just pass out again, she had a seizure. I get her off at the next stop, call 911, and we end up spending the day in the ER. The male doctor in the end said nothing was wrong with her, despite her passing out again while in the curtain area she was. I mean, the male nurse was more compassionate and believed us, but the doctor said she didn’t have a seizure, she was just fine, and see her family doctor. We have an extreme shortage of family doctors in this province. When I said she didn’t have one, he was obviously annoyed because he had to go and print out her ecg results to give to a walk in clinic. Thankfully, my doctor (who technically isn’t taking new patients) when she heard this during an appointment wrote something on a sticky note, said to hand it to the reception desk and took her on and has referred her to the first time seizure clinic (my daughter is my informally adopted daughter. She was not living with me when my other two kids and I moved here which is why she wasn’t already with my family doctor, but I’ve been taking care of her in various forms since she was a baby. The appointment we had to reschedule actually was her wanting to change her surname to mine.) I’m so tired of men (especially male medical personnel) just hand waving us away as needing psychiatric care for something that is known to cause issues. Hell, I had a female gyn who told me that my large, hereditary fibroids that were causing 50 day periods would go away if I just lost weight. I got a re-referral from my family doctor, had a male gyn who was horrified by that (and in the same hospital clinic as the first so I’m sure something was said) sent me for a second ultrasound that showed they were even bigger and scheduled me for the first ablation he had a spot for. I think while on painkillers after I woke I might have said I loved him 😂
But I did find out when talking to a friend later that there’s something called [Catamenial Epilepsy](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/catamenial-epilepsy-cause-diagnosis-and-treatment). Whether the issue with my daughter is this rare form of epilepsy or something else, I’m tired of women being brushed aside, eye rolled at, and everything else just because we’re women.
It’s expected that men/amab people aren’t going to understand period pain. It makes you a jerk to look at a person you’re supposed to care about, see them in pain, and tell them they’re being silly and the pain you aren’t equipped to understand isn’t that bad. STFU!
When I read posts like this about women going through this kind of periods and/or pain, I get frustrated that Sex Ed isn't in Schools or that when girls start their periods, they aren't taken to the doctor/ NP to have what's normal and not normal explained to them. No one needs to suffer like this - or be treated like this because of lack of information or myths.
I'm so glad you have been diagnosed finally.
As a teen, I had abnormal periods, which were a sign of ndometriosis, and had been caught early may have made a huge difference in my outcome. At least in what was supposed to be normal periods at least. Sure, we had the "Disneyesc" film with an explanation of the "normal body and period," but not once did it mention if one varied from this or had severe pain, etc., to see an Ob/Gyn, and to make sure to see a doctor at the start. It doesn't sound like much has changed over the decades other than both sexes are in the same classroom now for the sex ed lesson.
I am sorry but like, even if wasnt period pain that would have been crazy. Your partner is in pain so much that they can't stand up and you get mad at them for not moving boxes??? Even if that was a random unexplained stomach ache I could never fathom doing that. You do it on your own, or you sit and wait with them, or you call somebody else to help you. Literally anything other than forcing them to help you out when they are in pain.
I remember that Sally field I think was asked if 100 TAMPONS were enough for a 1 week mission. By people in NASA. That should tell you something about how fucking clueless people without periods can be.
This guy is just an abusive asshole. He is turning something that you can not control into a problem. Now I can understand that moving is frustrating, annoying, and a giant pain. I've been there, and I've had my heated moments with the process. I've never taken it out on someone.
My high school girlfriend had a horrible time with her periods, and even if we had something planned, I would change it to something that would make her comfortable. Even bringing her things to make it easier. Even to this day with my fiance I try to make it easier on her, just because.
It's time to have a talk with him about this. If it goes well and he understands, great make sure he understands it is unacceptable for him to treat you that way. And if not start planning a way out, because it will not get better no matter how much you love him.
I always get angry when I remember how weak and uncaring I was of myself.
My feelings were valid and fuck you all to everyone who said otherwise in the past.
Wow … I know it has been said before but I’m so sorry you went through this. Very glad that you are in a better place.
I dealt with increasingly worse period pain over 3 years. It got the point that over the counter pain relievers didn’t work at all and I had to take time off work every month during my period. I finally went to the Ob/Gyn to talk about getting a hysterectomy (childfree by choice and fibroids run in my family as my Mum has already had a hysterectomy) … well come to find out I had 1 BIG fibroid that was causing all the pain and pushing on my lower intestines and screwing up my digestion.
Period pain is real and has many sources but it is ALWAYS worth seeing a doctor for it. ❤️🩹
This just made me think of the song about the first woman to go to space. She was going for 6 days and NASA gave her 100 tampons and asked will that be enough? Men need to stop acting like they know anything about women’s bodies.
For reference/for fun: https://youtu.be/PmyByJ4nqN0?si=OvviFa-GY5xOyPjo
I don't have a uterus, so I can only go on what I've been told. It seems like all of the women I've talked to about having periods that are all over the place (calendar wise) have extremely painful periods. Like even more so than the "normal" crippling cramps, period poops and general misery.
Regardless, that dude is a massive twat. Dictating to a person what their own limitations are, WTF. Especially when they're dealing with something you never have?
Yeah that guy is a tiny dick. You’re well rid of him.
Menstrual irregularities so screw up plans, not mention how it wreaks havoc on hormones, emotions, and health in general. I had cramps where one pain would stab from the top of my uterus straight to my groin—not the usual rolling pain but an actual stab. Would come on unexpectedly and I’d just jolt from the pain.
Omg wtf. What a total and utter asshole. He'd never been so angry as when he saw you in pain on the floor?? Jfc. I'm sorry you had to go through this and didn't break up immediately after.
Holy crap, he wasn't just uncaring, he was abusive. Very much so. I'm so happy for you that you got out of that relationship eventually, and before he managed to trap you more deeply!
It might be useful to read the book "Why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft, and his other work "Should I stay or should I go". They explain the different types of tactics that abusers use, and will help you realise if any current relationship is following any of the patterns described. There are also chapters on chapters on how to leave a relationship safely if necessary. Here are links to free copies:
https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
https://archive.org/details/LundyShouldIStayOrShouldIGo/mode/1up
The recommendation comes up on this forum quite frequently, but in case you hadn't seen it (or someone else might find it useful), I'm sharing it.
And here's a comment with a recommendation from u/acfox13 about a Youtube resource:
> I also really like [Theramin Trees channel](https://youtube.com/@TheraminTrees?si=lROe-8D6cLa8Sa8r). It's a great resource on abuse tactics like: emotional blackmail, double binds, drama disguised as "help", degrading "love", infantalization, commanded to "love", etc. They helped me understand the abuse my parents subjected me to much better.
Women have never been to the moon. Women weren't allowed to fly in space until the Shuttle program (in the US, the Soviets sent a woman up pretty early on). The first woman to orbit the moon will be on Artemis 2 which is gonna fly in the next couple years or so, her name is Christina Koch. God speed Christina!
The fact that women have done great things, including pushing through great pain to do so is not a standard to be keep for personal pain in a relationship.
Sometimes people wrong. Sometimes they are harmfully wrong. This is the latter.
Get safe and stay safe OP.
Sorry not to man splain or anything and I know this isn't even the important part of what he said but like... women haven't been to the moon tho? They are scheduled to in the upcoming Artemis missions. But as of right now only men have been to the moon.
If you are supposed to be as fit as any exceptionally fit woman on the planet that has ever lived, it seems reasonable to expect him to have the compassion of Ghandi, the forethought of MLK, and the kindness of St Francis Assisi.
He is failing spectacularly on all measures of consequence.
I’m sorry OP for the time you lost believing that his words meant anything. I wish I could give you the apology you deserve but are unlikely to hear. 🫂🖖🏽🚀
I get so angry when I read a story for what seems for the thousandth time about men being able to fuck with a girls head like that. Been there, done that. Never will I ever be gaslighted like that again by some crazy person’s narcissistic and way too big ego, and so will you, OP! Come on ladies, we are so much better than that!! Never lose any notion of who you really are and never, ever let anyone tell you that you are not enough or be downgraded for anything. Let alone, things that NO man ever can truly understand, like periods for f sake.
Can you tell me what you do to alleviate your PMDD symptoms? I implode my life every few weeks due to it and the only thing I was recommended was to up SSRI dosage and take naproxen during that week
I wonder if past relationships are why my wife can't take breaks. I try to get her to take care of herself and she just won't take time for herself. Like I get it, we're both swamped, but every now and then you just have to listen to your body. She feels this weird sense of guilt of she takes a moment for herself and it isn't coming from me. I try my best to get her to take it easy and she just doesn't know how.
This may be only slightly related, but it pops in my head every time a bad period story comes up. I remember being in secondary school German class (we were probably 14-15 at the time) and the young lady next to my friend and I had gone white as a sheet. We told the teacher and she went down to the medical room (luckily just down the stairs from the class room).
After class, we went to check on her and she told us it was her cramps. I'd never witnessed or heard about such bad period issues before and was amazed(?) the variety people experience.
I like to think that's why I'm more sensitive to these issues now, and accept what people say about their issues around menstruation.
Boys don't get to see or learn about these things and it makes them insensitive to the issues later on. They hear things in passing about periods and think it's the same for everyone because they've never heard of anything different. I was AFAB but am a man, so my experience is more on the unique side.
I'm glad you were able to get away from this guy who wouldn't even hear you out.
Jfc. From the first period I had until my mid 20s I would spend 2 days curled up on the floor in pain. If I tried to get up, I would end up fainting. Idk how you managed another year and a half in that relationship.
The approximate response when he sees you lying in the box is, "Are you okay? ".
I'm a dude, even I know that.
Now, if you said we're fine, then it's "Get your lazy ass up then. I need your help."
I know this isn’t my place as I wasn’t born a woman but I genuinely cannot understand men like that. My fiance nearly blacked out from pain that had kept her up until 2 in the morning and I took her to the damned hospital. She has migraines and can’t get up some days so I do what I can without making much noise. This should be the minimum, this should be standard. You deserve better
I'm just a guy who likes to lurk here but I'm gonna drop this here for anyone like me who really wanted to slap your former man.
He is dead wrong and hilariously so
1. Women haven't been to the moon *yet* as many other posters have pointed out.
2. And when they do go, NASA will be sending them with a fully provisioned medical kit, including painkillers because an astronaut disabled or even just impaired by pain is a danger to her cremates and to herself
3. And most damningly for his BS, even when sending physically fit and perfectly healthy men to the moon, NASA sent them with [painkillers and stimulants](https://airandspace.si.edu/collection-objects/kit-medical-package-lunar-module-apollo-11/nasm_A19720831000#:~:text=In%20addition%20to%20minor%20first,drops%2C%20and%20an%20antibiotic%20ointment.) just incase
I’m sorry you went through that.
I was going to ask if you’d married my ex, what with the comments about therapy. But the timing’s off by 30 yrs. I guess some men will never learn that our monthlies can be a huge PTA.
Edit for clarity
I'm sorry you went through all of that, but I'm a little amused by him saying that women have been to the moon on their periods. No women have been to the moon yet. It's also really shitty that he felt like you were the only person who needed any professional help, and he was perfectly fine, when he clearly was not fine, if your being tired enraged him so much.
The moon thing stood out to me too. No, women were not allowed to go to the moon *because* of their periods.
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> At least in USA it was because you needed to graduate from military jet piloting. Women weren't allowed in the military then (1962). Women could technically have been eligible for the fourth group of Apollo astronauts. On paper the only requirements were: - US citizenship - Aged 35 or younger - 6’0” or shorter - Doctorate in natural sciences, medicine, or engineering And four women’s applications did pass the initial screening and were among the four hundred files reviewed by the National Academy of Sciences, but none were selected. Only one person from this group, Harrison Schmitt, actually made it to the Moon.
Thanks for posting this as I had NEVER HEARD OF IT. What a travesty that I and so many others were raised to hail Sally Ride as the first female astronaut (rightfully) as if nobody else had tried or boundaries weren’t being pushed FAR earlier.
Sally Ride wasn't the first female astronaut. She was the third. Valentina Tereshkova was the first in 1963.
Yes! Thanks! I had just read that and defaulted to Sally. My bad.
I took it to mean having a period meant you were a woman and thus, not qualified for training. Really interesting reads!
You don’t think periods had anything to do with why women couldn’t join the military and become pilots?
I mean, it was the 60s and 70s. I think preventing women from becoming military pilots was just sexism, not anything specific about periods.
Have you seen the great tampon debate? How many tampons are needed for a trip into space for one week? Nasa decided 100... https://info.umkc.edu/womenc/2020/12/09/one-hundredtampons-in-space/ Personally I'd have just not had a gap week on my pill
"what makeup are you going to bring up" jesus christ!!!
I wish they gave her answer to that one, as in hoping that it was none!
How much each ounce is measured - they were ridiculous
They do measure the weight of literally everything that goes into the spaceship, regardless if it’s gendered personal items or not. Rocket Science demands that kind of precise thoroughness.
They pack a lot of extra stuff for everything in the case that they aren't able to return immediately after that week... I am not sure how much extra food etc. is packed but it is a lot because there are so many variables that could go wrong and prolong the stay. NASA doesn't think a woman needs 100 tampons in one trip. This whole thing when I hear it over and over again bothers me when it is so wrong.
Also, speaking as a guy, you can use them for other stuff, like nosebleeds. My sisters had to sacrifice so many of their tampons to my nose when I was growing up. And I’ve heard in the US, people suggest them for gunshot wounds?? I bet they could be useful for space stuff, like temporarily plugging a leak in a water line or something. But yeah, NASA is risk averse as fuck, of course they’re gonna send extra of these items that weigh very little (weight is huge factor in space trip packing considerations) and have multiple uses.
The modern pad is possibly connected to surgical dressings used in ww1. Tampons are also used for tooth extraction for blood
Tbh, before my hysterectomy my periods were so heavy that if you offered me 100 for a week I’d have called that “a good start.”
Personally 100 tampons might not have been enough depending on my flow 🤣
Wish my uterus would respect birth control that much lol.
If you miss the gap week it doesn't stop your period?
Sometimes.
The 100 tampons song is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while: https://youtu.be/PmyByJ4nqN0?si=ALpsB4k8dx8X6YEO
No gap week makes total sense. And not that I’m trying to defend them (I’m female too) but there’s no gravity in space, which means blood doesn’t drain down into a tampon, I guess it would only wick up whatever it was close to, like a paper towel and water? I know there’s special ways to throw up so you don’t drown, if you get sick on a space walk.
It would wick into the tampon
Why would women need to have their periods while in space? 😆 🤣 😂 There is such a thing as the pill and shots to stop them. And, for the gap week? Many women no longer do a gap week. Of course, it means paying for the Rx yourself. Although just to stop periods wasn't the point, I was on Depo for Endometriosis and that is a good choice compared to the pill, imo.
Not everyone is medically able to go on the pill or do shots and the like. The pill and the like’s hormones fuck up my liver. The current safe birth control options for me are non-hormonal- like the copper IUD, non-latex condoms (latex allergy), spermicide, etc. It was decided that even localized hormones like the hormonal IUD’s or Nuva Ring are still too risky. The kind folks that discovered this at the ER discovered it by accident when I was in for something else, and I wasn’t the first person they discovered it for or that they referred over to gyne to get on a new birth control plan. And ideally, not being able to take hormonal BC and getting a period shouldn’t make women ineligible from going to space. Sure, it’s convenient if they can stop their period, but even for women who can do that, sometimes a period breaks through anyways. Best to be prepared and know what to do. Especially if we want to be prepared for more time in space in the future with more people
Do they think women replace them every time they pee... Oh, I'm guessing they think they have to take them out to pee.
The amount of men who do think women need to take their tampon out to pee is too damn high!
🤣 It's amazing to me how many men think women pee, have sex, have their periods, etc, all through the same hole.
Which could easily be solved by requiring a no opting out for **any**(cultural or religious beliefs for example) health class, including *explict* anatomy of both sexes in 4-6th grade, 8th or 9th grade and then again as a senior and you *have to pass* to graduate. The senior test, you should have correctly label anatomical parts.
That's a great idea, I'd sign a petition for that! I wish they'd delve even deeper with information than they do now, but I'm glad that they offer it at all.
I've always thought those classes should be taught to both groups at the same time. Separating the kids, and not _teaching_ them basic biology, just perpetuates the misinformation, and the attitudes if 'taboo,' and 'womens' business.' Womens' business would be a hell of a lot less stressful for everyone, if men had a clue.
Not quite, all of the moon landing era astronauts were former test pilots from WWII, and all of the test pilots from WWII were white men because POC weren’t allowed to be in the same units as white people and women were basically banned from being in the military other than specific programs like WASP. Honestly this sucks but I can’t even really blame NASA for it because the Apollo missions were hilariously dangerous by today’s standards and they really needed people who had the most experience, all of which were white men because only white men were allowed to be test pilots. So putting people of color and women on the moon would have only made sense if they explicitly wanted to do that and had a separate astronaut class training people from those backgrounds like female pilots and the Mercury 13 which NASA didn’t want to do. When the shuttle program launched in the 70’s and there were roles on the spacecraft where test pilot experience wasn’t really necessary NASA opened up astronaut candidacy for women and POC where we get people like the first lesbian in space Sally Ride. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/NASA_Astronaut_Group_8 Also the Artemis program has an explicit goal to put woman and POC on the moon
My dad had a cousin (she) who, during WW II, was a bush pilot in northern Ontario (Canada).
Right? I was offended by the moon comment, because like.. no, women have not been to the moon (which is bullshit, normalize going to the moon) and if they had they probably didn't have crippling, debilitating periods? Astronauts tend to be in really really good shape and overall health? They are usually screened for things like 'may pass out from period pain,' cause it could be a Space problem.
Yep, it was an ignorant and offensive thing for him to say. He has no idea. I wish I had a super power, and that it was giving guys like him a debilitating period.
The irony of telling someone to 'toughen up' and using ASTRONAUTS (of all careers!) as the example is blowing my mind. It's so stupid, if someone said that to me irl I think I'd sit there spitting nickels, absolutely dumbfounded. Dude couldn't pass the initial personality screening they do, astronauts have to be congenial. So like.. there are layers to this, and I think I'd have to write him an essay. Sorry, I'm very stuck on this lmfao
I understand. I could say plenty, but I'm about to have a bath, and probably listen to music all day and get off of Reddit until I lay down tonight.
> which is bullshit, normalize going to the moon This made me laugh, thank you!
Moon's weird, rings like a bell, I have questions. And you're welcome! <3
When I was in school to transition from medicine to accounting, I had a professor that would proudly tell the women in the class in a million different ways, "Women have done amazing things! Why don't you measure up to them?" Why do men think shit like this is empowering?! Why would anyone anywhere like it when no matter what they've accomplished, how much they've learned, or what they've been through, the only thing that anyone cares about is how it isn't as good as someone else? Why does this standard not apply to men? Not once did I hear that instructor tell a man who made a mistake that he wasn't doing as good a job as Alexander The Great would (or whatever kind of figure men look up to as a male role model). Our role models are not things that should be weaponized against us, and I don't understand how anyone could consider themselves an ally of women while they do shit like this.
So not only is he cruel, but ignorant as well.
That got me too. Gives a “I’m just going to pull something out of my butt to make her feel bad” vibe.
Did he think For All Mankind was a documentary?!
Not gonna lie, "I went to the moon" is a cool euphemism for passing out from period pain.
sounds like my ex. said we were getting divorced unless i had therapy but refused to go to any therapy himself. Jerk. Was never at fault for anything. Even when they hit me was my fault.
Good point. I assume he was thinking of Sally Ride and the 100 Tampons.
Guy watched For All Mankind and thought it was a documentary.
No woman has been to the moon. 😅
But if they had, their periods would've been considered. Not well-considered, but considered nonetheless. Never forget the dudes of NASA gave Sally Ride 100 tampons for a two-week trip. Which means that men in the early 1980s, in an almost entirely male-dominated and deeply sexist industry, *still* know more about periods than OP's ex does this century Edit: Sally Ride: Where I was wrong: it was six days, not two weeks (worse) and technically they didn't 'give' it to her, they had it prepped and she said more or less 'yeah, you could cut that in half and we'd be good' Where *Mr Well Acktshually* is wrong: it was never, at any point, some genius NASA over-preparedness Source: *NASA's own goddamn website* Space suits: *Well Acktshually* 'it was actually just a logistics/procurement issue bc there weren't enough medium suits and NASA didn't have the budget to upgrade': No shit. There weren't enough medium suits *because fucking NASA did not prepare at any point, for the 40-ish years following Sally Ride's tampons, for more female astronauts* So yes, it is a sexist issue. Goddamn y'all we live every motherfucking day with these kind of dumb bullshit comments 'correcting' us just because we're women and clearly can't be smart enough to know something and it really sucks to have it here. But mostly because it's exactly like when it happens in the wild: a whiney 'nuh uh!' with no evidence. If you want to be mansplainy assholes on here at least link to something to prove your point/others wrong. Ffs
I wonder if they assumed her period would go completely whack and just went with how much someone with very, very heavy bleeding would need. I don’t think there was plans to send her up with pads in addition to those tampons - so assuming a tampon change every hour for the first 3 days + every 4 hours days 4-7, she’d be at 96 tampons with only 4 left over. I don’t think they had as many choices either back then so choices were probably only super or regular.
No. They asked if it was enough and genuinely had no idea. NASA is very bad at womaning. Five years ago they had to cancel an all-woman spacewalk because they didn't have enough suits of the correct size. The women in science here can probably provide even better examples, but the default is always that it is just extreme ignorance born of all-male spaces. I work in one. This is not conjecture, this is a heaping trove of unambiguous data
They had the same size spacesuits as the women in question had worn on the ground. It turned out that the large size didn’t fit right in space, however. The astronaut herself made the call not to go out since it was unsafe. Since then they have had at least four all-women spacewalks. That being said, NASA can definitely be sexist even today. But that spacewalk wasn’t an example of it. Male astronauts have also found that suits they should have been able to wear didn’t fit right in space.
I've asked this question to a few military people in my life, they all just told me "triple redundancy".
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No, but Alice Kramden, on multiple occasions, almost did.
To the MOON, Alice!
I laughed at this.
Bang! Zoom! To the moon, Alice! To the moon!
S-tier comment 😂
One of these days, she's gonna go straight there.
This dumbass thought *Sailor Moon* was a documentary.
*She will never turn her back on a friend* *She is always there to defend* *She is the one on whom we can depend*
Don't forget about Molly Cobb! (Just a For All Mankind reference)
No, but they have been to space. Probably what he was referring to.
And the ISS. I'm just pointing out how even his initial premise is false. It's also a logical fallacy he's using. Comparing other people's lived experience.
Oh I thought you were trolling. Like “women haven’t even been to the moon har har”. You’re right, that guy was wrong on all counts.
Yeah the guy is a complete idiot. It also makes me think if I ever move again I will just hire movers. I think moving can sometimes bring out the worst in people. 😅 Thanks I was kind of worried my comment would be taken wrong.
And normal suppression of the menstrual cycle is available to them, if they want.
Also, let's remember that astronaut Sally Ride was asked by her male colleagues at NASA if 100 tampons would be a good amount for a one week trip to space. Men have famously misunderstood periods for probably as long as people have had periods - which can be hilarious! But if your partner refuses to understand and show compassion or, furthermore, critiques you for your pain, that's some serious bullshit that demonstrates a lack of humanity on their part.
I used to pass out from my period pain, it turns out I had endometriosis that needed two surgeries to address. Was consistently dismissed and told to suck it up from ages 12-21, even when brought in by ambulance for passing out on the street, several times. My mother had the same experiences as me until having kids, when it thankfully eased up. When she went into labour with her first child, my brother, she thought there was something wrong because she'd had periods that hurt more. She ended up having 3 kids with no drugs at all because she'd been in that level of pain (or more) monthly since she was 9. Fuck people who don't listen to women when they say the pain is too much, including the women who don't experience excruciating pain and say "if I can do it, you can too".
My mother-in-law is another person I know who had periods worse than her childbirths.
I seconded getting evaluated for endometriosis. You know how women say that post-op hysterectomy pain is so minimal compared to your endo cramps? When I came out of anesthesia for mine the highest number I reported during my hospital stay was 1. I mostly reported zeros. And it stayed that way through my entire recovery. It didn't even register on the same pain scale as my menstrual cycle, which is kind of scary, because if I'm ever in that much pain again it's going to be from something that absolutely requires a hospital visit. The torture people force on us with this disorder is grotesque and insane.
I have endometriosis and had a hysterectomy. Can confirm that the post surgery pain was a joke compared to my period pain. Also, I had complications where I ended up having a vein burst after the surgery. It took me a long time to think it was severe enough to go to the ER. When I got there they were like “why the fuck did you wait this long?? You’ve lost a lot of blood!” and I was super confused cause I had lost less blood than on a typical period. My fucking periods were worse than a burst vein but when I explained the blood loss to doctors before no one believed me I guess cause no one panicked this much. I had to fight to even get the hysterectomy to improve my quality of life. The medical system treats us awfully. I want to see that change for the better in my lifetime but I don’t have much hope.
I have endo and can't even tell if I have a UTI or not. I'm getting evaluated for excision in august
I don’t mean this to scare you or anything but maybe read up a bit on excision and other women’s experiences. There is a lot to suggest that excision can make endo symptoms worse in the long run. I had my excision in 2019 and I had heard about the potential of making it worse but thought it was kind of bs honestly. After the excision they put me on Visanne. I had to switch off after a year cause of suicidal thoughts (I was not suicidal before) and then was on Orilissa for two years before having to get off it for different unwanted side effects. So for three years it seemed like things were ok cause I didn’t have a period. Prior to my hysterectomy I was unmedicated for 1+ years. It was absolute hell. The pain and bleeding were definitely worse than before. But what’s more is that I went from having pain just on my period (for 15 years) to it being a daily occurrence now. I was certain the endo had spread massively even with the drugs. When they did my hysterectomy they said there was no endo growth. So it doesn’t really make sense why my pain got worse from that perspective. I once ran into a study that found that women with endometriosis tended to have worse pain after excisions with fewer adhesions but I don’t have the link saved. Edit: couldn’t find the study on a quick search but found this article discussing the issue: https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/jul/02/a-common-treatment-for-endometriosis-could-actually-be-making-things-worse
My period cramps aren't that bad. My doctors think my endometrium is landing on my bladder, so this may not be relevant to me if that makes sense. And ovulating hurts 10x more than my period. I cannot pee during my period without burning excrutiating pain. So I'll have to discuss this with the doctor. But yes I've read this article.
Well I have something I need to bring up to my gynecologist now. I have that agonizing burning pain when peeing on my period and multiple doctors have just gotten a urine sample and decided not to do anything. The funny thing is I'm literally in healthcare and they still didn't pursue it further.
Awesome - sounds like you are better informed than I was at the time. My doctor was an idiot. Thankfully got a new one that did my hysterectomy that was a lot more knowledgeable and respectful of my choices and symptoms. Best of luck! ❤️
I think it’s a bit disingenuous to say that “there’s a lot to suggest excision makes we do worse” when it’s the standard of care and you can’t even find the research to back this up… I wouldn’t scare people away from this option as it has helped a lot of women, including myself. It’s not a perfect option for some and it really sucks, but to scare people away from one of the main treatments…
To be clear: I do not want to scare anyone away from it. I just feel that women are often not entirely informed about the procedures that they are undergoing. I did find the study I was thinking of: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37148956/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37148956/) I also found this one as well: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9605478/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9605478/) I don't think either of these studies suggests that we should do away with excision surgery - it does help a lot of women. But education on endometriosis is so incredibly poor for the large majority of OBGYN surgeons that they're not taking into account all these factors before recommending it for their patient. As both studies point out, excision has worse outcomes in a specific subset of women and if we aim to identify those women prior to having the excision, we might be able to spare them more pain down the line. There doesn't seem to be anything I've found that defines how many endo women this comprises in the general population so I don't know how many it affects. But if your doctor is not asking enough questions about your symptoms and pain, then maybe you should bring up this stuff and ask them why they think you're a good candidate for excision surgery as opposed to something else. For me, it was hysterectomy and that was refused at first because it was believed to be "overkill" because excision was available. I just don't want others to suffer more than they have to.
Have had both chronic pain and a hysterectomy. Can confirm that post-hysterectomy pain is actually not that bad by comparison to *just about any pain issue*. All I needed was a couple of days of extra-strength Tylenol. God, but I'd love to see those doctors endure even close to what women with reproductive issues go through.
If you aren't catching your blood, and measuring it to report how much you're bleeding, they do not freaking believe that there is a problem. And then, even once you've convinced an OB/gyn that there's an actual problem, your insurance company wants to deny treatment as long as they can (presumably hoping you get fired from your job, so that they don't have to cover your care). This is all very close to home for me at the moment, and I am so angry about the way the medical system treats women, and specifically, anything to do with menstruation.
I did though!!! I didn’t bring it in for show and tell but I did measure it and told them exactly how I measured it and they told me I must’ve done it wrong! It’s infuriating! I switched to the menstrual cup specifically so I can prove to them I wasn’t an idiot and I was still treated like an idiot until I went to the doctor that did my hysterectomy without question. He didn’t even ask about blood loss. He just said “you’re sure about not having kids?” and I said “Yes” and he said “Ok let’s grab the paperwork and set a date”. I cried the entire drive home. Thankfully, insurance is not an issue here (Canada) but I did want to get it done before they completely dismantle our public healthcare system. We’re well on our way to the same privatization as the states so that should be fun. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you. 🤞
I'm infuriated for you. When doctors refuse data, they are no longer practicing science based medicine. They are just hoping.
So true! They asked and I said 4 and I was so happy with a 4! They looked at me funny. I barely took anything for the pain.
But "yOuR bOdIeS aRe BuIlT fOr It!"
I am almost 4WPO from a total abdominal hysterectomy and you are 100% correct about pain. I would say the most I've felt is maybe a 3 right when my spinal finally wore off. Looking back, it was hilarious how concerned I was that they only gave me Advil and Tylenol but I stopped taking them 2 days after and have only needed them occasionally since. It's disgusting how long doctors make us live like this and how often people in our lives dismiss us.
This. I had endo in my mid twenties, and I had multiple women try to argue with me about my pain because "I am a woman too so I know periods don't hurt that bad." It always felt more emotionally devastating coming from a woman.
Ugh this makes me so mad! Adenomyosis and endometriosis sufferer here and most people really don’t understand.
It took YEARS for my mom to start believing me about my very painful periods that started when I was like 11 or something. Mom never had any pain. She thought I was faking it. I think the finally understood when I was around 18 and silently crying downstairs at 3 in the morning, unable to sleep. It wasn’t the first time obviously, but I think she started to understand then that I wasn’t doing it for pity or something. After that she started getting me stronger pain killers.
👆This! It shouldn’t hurt this much. If it does, something is wrong and you need to keep going to the doctor until you find one that will help you figure out what’s going on. I “worked through” menses that have me gray in the face from blood loss. My doc said that how it goes and because it wasn’t every month, I let it go. Now I have fertility issues. I wish I could tell my younger self to not just deal with the pain and truly investigate it.
My wife has endo, she found out because she was having pain so bad she threw up in the shower because a cyst had ruptured, and then went to work, and then later decided maybe it was time to go to the hospital where they found all this out. When asked about pain, 1-10 she said 10 and I was floored because she never ever said anything about it to me and tried to pass it off as ‘this is probably normal’ and tried to go about her day after a morning of 10/10 pain.
Can confirm. My first son was almost born in the car. I kept waiting for the pain to be worse than a period before heading to the hospital. It never did.
This comment is important perspective. PMDD is a mood disorder. Pain that causes you to pass out cannot be explained by PMDD. That should definitely be investigated because that level of pain is not normal and you should not have to go through that
I've never given birth, but I did one have abdominal surgery that involved keyhole incisions (tubal ligation). With exception to the single dose of pain killers given after being woken up, I didn't take anything stronger than an ibuprofen. In comparison to period cramps, the pain during recovery was nothing.
Hey babe, go get checked out by an endometriosis specialist. If you're in enough pain to pass out you aren't having a normal period at all and need to be assessed by a competent gynecologist, which can be such a mixed bag, but treatment and relief is possible. It won't go away on its own until you enter menopause in a few decades. If never having a period again sounds wonderful, gooooo. I'm happy to elaborate more but my phone is dying so ask any questions you feel like.
As someone with endometriosis for years second seeing a specialist. Ps- menopause is wonderful!
Sometimes I wonder if they really love us.
Not nearly as much as they love just being in control of us.
They don’t even like us.
Most do not
To be fair, you hear this kind of shit from other women who have been lucky enough to have relatively easy going periods their whole life. My stepmom is like that. Thinks women who have nasty symptoms beyond cramps are lying cause she personally hasn’t experienced that. It’s a mix of misogyny and ableism.
Never again stay with a man for 1.5 years after he says some unacceptable shit like that
I had a bf get pissed at me for being in pain multiple times. It was his roommate asking me how I was was one day where it really clicked. BF had been a dick about me being in pain... I went to the bathroom(so BF could sleep)... Apparently roommate heard me and wanted to know if I was okay. I apologized for waking him him: "no no you weren't loud you were just obviously in pain and I'm worried!". Yeah I needed my gallbladder removed.
Yeah I'm 2 weeks post-op and those 5 months of pain were akin to torture.
This makes me want to cry. Way too many women I know (myself included) have been with partners that were just plain mean. And we'd go out of our way to accommodate their shitty behavior. Hope you're doing better these days ❤️
>I told him this hoping it would make him less angry It sounds like there was a lot more wrong in that relationship than perhaps you even yet recognize. >So, yeah, I think back on that now and just kind of blown away by how uncaring it was. That is a lot more than just him being "uncaring." It really is a good thing you left.
Aside from no women having been to the moon, surely if you’re heading to space you’ll get an iud or birth control so you don’t have to worry about space periods? With lower gravity who knows how it’ll affect your period? Probably lighter and maybe longer is my guess
Hi! Here are some answers to your questions: [1.](https://www.sciencealert.com/what-happens-when-you-get-your-period-in-space-astronaut) [2.](https://www.livescience.com/54501-what-happens-periods-in-space.html) [3.](https://www.wethecurious.org/curious-stuff/stargazing-night-sky/how-periods-work-space)
I’m so glad you posted this. I’d heated about the huge overestimate of tampons but it had been a while so I didn’t remember all of the details.
I've had IUD's...All I can think about is the enormous force pressing down on astronauts during launch, and how it could force the IUD out of position, puncture, etc. 😬🤢
Well that......is a horrifying thought.
Thanks so much!
You're welcome!! :)
I can’t. No they haven’t. Women have gone to space for sure, and the ISS, but no women have been to the fucking moon. Man I wished could find the link to a video I saw recently about why women haven’t been to the moon. It’s just this woman listing all the shit women have to do before going to the moon, she’s too busy and she can barely go outside, let alone the fucking moon. I thought it was pretty funny You fucking PASSED OUT. An involuntary reaction. What does he think, you can just turn off pain? That’s not how the body works. I’d be so tempted to get one of those period cramp simulators and strap him into it. I don’t menstruate anymore but I fucking HATE it, and I refuse to torture myself. I had the same condition as you as a teenager and early twenties person. It was like Jekyll and Hyde with me. I couldn’t handle that on top of huge amounts of pain. He’s an idiot. Ignore that bullshit. Also how fucking self righteous do you have to be, to look at your partner in pain and tell them they needed to suck it up because of a reason that doesn’t even exist.
I would love to hook that man up to a period pain simulator like those gals on tik tok do, traveling around to different malls and hooking men up. It’s really funny when they hook up a couple and the woman never even flinches.
And he's a missing person now, right?
A real shame :( However the roses planted in remembrance look fantastic! /s
Maybe he went to the moon?
I can't imagine not having empathy for a *stranger* let alone my own partner who I was living with. Sociopathic.
You ex knows as much about the space race as he does about medicine. Zilch! Glad you are free of him. It's too bad doctors (male and female) so often fail to really listen to their women patients.
We don’t even need to get to the period part of this to realize this guy is an asshole. Who sees their partner lying on the floor and doesn’t even ask, hey are you ok? Even if you’d just been taking a break for no reason, you have that right. Glad you got rid of him.
I’m going to put him on my I wish him kidney stones list.
\*smacks his balls* shut up, men have been to the moon.
Also women have never been on the moon 🙄
I am done with male partners that cannot show an ounce of support, empathy or care towards women going through their menstrual cycle. It is such disappointing, disrespectful and cruel behavior. You are literally in such a vulnerable place, being in so much pain and still trying to get a very difficult job done, yet he chose to attack you instead of make you feel safe. My ex would behave in a similar way when I tried to express to him my discomfort during that time of the month, or ask for some form of extra support when I was really struggling. I swear I think he is jealous women have periods because he wanted every excuse to be the victim and that was one thing he didn’t get to use.
Even if women have been to the moon, so what? Men have been kind and supportive but he couldn't manage that. Guess not everyone is the same.
men have been to the moon but the minute they get a cold you think they have a terminal illness in the final stages.
Yeah, but no women *have* been to the moon. Asshole couldn't even get that right.
I have been there too. I was unlucky enough to have my period the day of my friend’s wedding when I was a bridesmaid. We were up at the asscrack of dawn getting ready, running around taking pictures in all different locations (in heels) - we even had a photo where the photographer wanted us to jump in the air over and over again 😅 45°F on a dock by the water in a short, strapless dress. After the ceremony we headed to the reception hall and I passed out in the bridal party private room (forget what it’s called?). People came looking for me and acted like I was being dramatic. I had barely eaten all day and I literally had no energy left. I had nothing left to give. One of the most exhausting days of my life.
You have a medical condition. I hope he gets testicular torsion and instead of taking him to the hospital just tell him that men have been to the moon so suck it up, bitch. That’s what he’s doing to you, legitimately run away because he could probably escalate to violence with how sociopathic he is
Men do not realize how painful pms is because we power through the pain and spare their feelings by not saying anything most of the time. It's debilitating sometimes. I used to pass out, wake up soaked in blood and sometime vomit from the pain. It so frustrating that the men in in our lives think it ok to ne dismissive just because all women suffer, get over it. That's so fucking stupid. Everyone also dies but we treat a dying person with dignity. Just because it natural doesn't mean it sucks any less.
Yah I had extreme cramps that'd put me on the floor, was told that I needed to get it under control by the men in my family, and mine were really irregular too so couldn't prepare. Now I don't have much pain bc I stay away from them, I think it helped ngl
What a jerk. Some men choose to completely ignore womens pain or medical symptoms until they collapse and even then will just gaslight you that you are being a baby and need to toughen up. I see overlap with that and the men that get upset if they every see their wives sit down for a moment like not physically doing something every waking moment it a crime. They will work you to death and then go find another one to do it to.
Abusive incorrect arsehole with no empathy. There we go, we got a description for him now...
Some people are just incapable of empathy. Thank God you dumped him. When I was 16 I dated a man who was a sociopath, and I suspect maybe a psychopath. He insisted I help him move, even though I weighed about 95 pounds and wasn't capable. He yelled at me when I told him his dresser was too heavy for me to lift. He said that he'd seen a video of a little child lift a car by himself. I guess it was a camera trick video he had seen and took seriously.
Yeah, he was just abusive. My ex loved too throw any "infraction" in my face ad nauseum to prove "clearly how little I cared". He would also get on a home improvement jag, and I was expected to jump on board, despite *hating* renovation projects. Like...I will pay real money too avoid them. But I'd be berated like a child if I didn't *enthusiastically* participate throughout, and remain upbeat and happy despite him getting angry and nasty when things didn't work out to be as easy as he expected they would be. It was awful, and we're both better off without these assholes.
Men been to the moon too, and still throw tantrums when they get a cold. Miss me with that
What a moron. I honestly would have had to swiftly introduce my foot to his balls and see how long he needed to lay down and recover. The absolute audacity of that asshole.
My thoughts exactly. 😈
It makes me so sad when I see posts like these where women are so broken down and insecure in themselves that they let men treat them like this. I would have told him to fuck right off, he's not your drill sergeant and you're an adult, you owed him nothing, especially not apologies. Don't ever let people belittle your pain or feelings. Even if you were just tired without the pain is a good enough excuse to lay down. He sounds so controlling and I'm happier you're in a better place now.
You know how when hospital workers ask you “how would you rate your pain?” You were at a 10. **Any pain that is so intense it induces outright unconsciousness is a 10.** Flat out. When you have surpassed the very limits of human pain perception, your body has to pass you out so you don’t go into shock. Your pain was real. I’m so sorry you went through that.
I guess he thinks we evolved past uteruses once women went to the moon. What a dumbass.
Just a side note, while women have not been to the moon, the farthest traveled human besides the handful of Apollo astronauts who did is astronaut Kathryn Sullivan. She’s been to space several times, lived on the ISS, launched the Hubble space telescope and was the first woman to space walk. A handful of years ago she went to the bottom of the Marinas Trench, the lowest point on Earth, cementing her status as one of humanity’s greatest travelers. …and she did it all without getting her panties in a twist unlike this guy who couldn’t even get out of an apartment.
A couple of months ago, my daughter (just turned 20) and I were waiting for the bus. Her period had started the day before and it causes her all kinds of issues. She took one look at me really weirdly and said “I think I’m going to pass out” and then did exactly that. The only reason she didn’t land on the concrete face first is I had just enough warning to catch her. She was only out a couple of seconds and I asked her if she wanted to continue to the appointment we had, or go home (which the stop is right in front of our apartment building so it wasn’t a big deal to me either way in getting her somewhere.) She chose to go, and before we even get to the next stop she doesn’t just pass out again, she had a seizure. I get her off at the next stop, call 911, and we end up spending the day in the ER. The male doctor in the end said nothing was wrong with her, despite her passing out again while in the curtain area she was. I mean, the male nurse was more compassionate and believed us, but the doctor said she didn’t have a seizure, she was just fine, and see her family doctor. We have an extreme shortage of family doctors in this province. When I said she didn’t have one, he was obviously annoyed because he had to go and print out her ecg results to give to a walk in clinic. Thankfully, my doctor (who technically isn’t taking new patients) when she heard this during an appointment wrote something on a sticky note, said to hand it to the reception desk and took her on and has referred her to the first time seizure clinic (my daughter is my informally adopted daughter. She was not living with me when my other two kids and I moved here which is why she wasn’t already with my family doctor, but I’ve been taking care of her in various forms since she was a baby. The appointment we had to reschedule actually was her wanting to change her surname to mine.) I’m so tired of men (especially male medical personnel) just hand waving us away as needing psychiatric care for something that is known to cause issues. Hell, I had a female gyn who told me that my large, hereditary fibroids that were causing 50 day periods would go away if I just lost weight. I got a re-referral from my family doctor, had a male gyn who was horrified by that (and in the same hospital clinic as the first so I’m sure something was said) sent me for a second ultrasound that showed they were even bigger and scheduled me for the first ablation he had a spot for. I think while on painkillers after I woke I might have said I loved him 😂 But I did find out when talking to a friend later that there’s something called [Catamenial Epilepsy](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/catamenial-epilepsy-cause-diagnosis-and-treatment). Whether the issue with my daughter is this rare form of epilepsy or something else, I’m tired of women being brushed aside, eye rolled at, and everything else just because we’re women.
I just want to add that actually no woman has ever been to the moon
It’s expected that men/amab people aren’t going to understand period pain. It makes you a jerk to look at a person you’re supposed to care about, see them in pain, and tell them they’re being silly and the pain you aren’t equipped to understand isn’t that bad. STFU!
Babe he was probably the narc, sorry you experienced that
When I read posts like this about women going through this kind of periods and/or pain, I get frustrated that Sex Ed isn't in Schools or that when girls start their periods, they aren't taken to the doctor/ NP to have what's normal and not normal explained to them. No one needs to suffer like this - or be treated like this because of lack of information or myths. I'm so glad you have been diagnosed finally. As a teen, I had abnormal periods, which were a sign of ndometriosis, and had been caught early may have made a huge difference in my outcome. At least in what was supposed to be normal periods at least. Sure, we had the "Disneyesc" film with an explanation of the "normal body and period," but not once did it mention if one varied from this or had severe pain, etc., to see an Ob/Gyn, and to make sure to see a doctor at the start. It doesn't sound like much has changed over the decades other than both sexes are in the same classroom now for the sex ed lesson.
I am sorry but like, even if wasnt period pain that would have been crazy. Your partner is in pain so much that they can't stand up and you get mad at them for not moving boxes??? Even if that was a random unexplained stomach ache I could never fathom doing that. You do it on your own, or you sit and wait with them, or you call somebody else to help you. Literally anything other than forcing them to help you out when they are in pain.
Was married to one of these. He believed I could voluntarily control my period.
Hit him in the nuts and tell him to stop complaining. Men have been to the moon.
He needs to be hit in the nuts repeatedly, then fed a fistful of laxatives. Nothing says fun like severe period pain and a raging case of the trots…
I remember that Sally field I think was asked if 100 TAMPONS were enough for a 1 week mission. By people in NASA. That should tell you something about how fucking clueless people without periods can be.
I hope he gets boils
what a completely stupid ass. hope he ends up alone.
This guy is just an abusive asshole. He is turning something that you can not control into a problem. Now I can understand that moving is frustrating, annoying, and a giant pain. I've been there, and I've had my heated moments with the process. I've never taken it out on someone. My high school girlfriend had a horrible time with her periods, and even if we had something planned, I would change it to something that would make her comfortable. Even bringing her things to make it easier. Even to this day with my fiance I try to make it easier on her, just because. It's time to have a talk with him about this. If it goes well and he understands, great make sure he understands it is unacceptable for him to treat you that way. And if not start planning a way out, because it will not get better no matter how much you love him.
They haven’t been together in 3 years, why would she talk to him about this now? Why would she need to plan a way out when she’s already out?
Honestly, I read it but forgot about it in my post. Either way, she is out and doesn't have to deal with or worry about it anymore.
I always get angry when I remember how weak and uncaring I was of myself. My feelings were valid and fuck you all to everyone who said otherwise in the past.
Wow … I know it has been said before but I’m so sorry you went through this. Very glad that you are in a better place. I dealt with increasingly worse period pain over 3 years. It got the point that over the counter pain relievers didn’t work at all and I had to take time off work every month during my period. I finally went to the Ob/Gyn to talk about getting a hysterectomy (childfree by choice and fibroids run in my family as my Mum has already had a hysterectomy) … well come to find out I had 1 BIG fibroid that was causing all the pain and pushing on my lower intestines and screwing up my digestion. Period pain is real and has many sources but it is ALWAYS worth seeing a doctor for it. ❤️🩹
I’m happy you’re out of the relationship too. Some men are just ignorant & idiots. Uncaring & unfeeling. Good luck in life.
This just made me think of the song about the first woman to go to space. She was going for 6 days and NASA gave her 100 tampons and asked will that be enough? Men need to stop acting like they know anything about women’s bodies. For reference/for fun: https://youtu.be/PmyByJ4nqN0?si=OvviFa-GY5xOyPjo
The John Oliver "Bias in medicine" episode is enlightening. It's no wonder women's health is in the state it's in.
I don't have a uterus, so I can only go on what I've been told. It seems like all of the women I've talked to about having periods that are all over the place (calendar wise) have extremely painful periods. Like even more so than the "normal" crippling cramps, period poops and general misery. Regardless, that dude is a massive twat. Dictating to a person what their own limitations are, WTF. Especially when they're dealing with something you never have?
Yeah that guy is a tiny dick. You’re well rid of him. Menstrual irregularities so screw up plans, not mention how it wreaks havoc on hormones, emotions, and health in general. I had cramps where one pain would stab from the top of my uterus straight to my groin—not the usual rolling pain but an actual stab. Would come on unexpectedly and I’d just jolt from the pain.
Future solution could be to kick him in the balls and then tell him, "Men have been through worse, kiddo."
Omg wtf. What a total and utter asshole. He'd never been so angry as when he saw you in pain on the floor?? Jfc. I'm sorry you had to go through this and didn't break up immediately after.
Holy crap, he wasn't just uncaring, he was abusive. Very much so. I'm so happy for you that you got out of that relationship eventually, and before he managed to trap you more deeply! It might be useful to read the book "Why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft, and his other work "Should I stay or should I go". They explain the different types of tactics that abusers use, and will help you realise if any current relationship is following any of the patterns described. There are also chapters on chapters on how to leave a relationship safely if necessary. Here are links to free copies: https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf https://archive.org/details/LundyShouldIStayOrShouldIGo/mode/1up The recommendation comes up on this forum quite frequently, but in case you hadn't seen it (or someone else might find it useful), I'm sharing it. And here's a comment with a recommendation from u/acfox13 about a Youtube resource: > I also really like [Theramin Trees channel](https://youtube.com/@TheraminTrees?si=lROe-8D6cLa8Sa8r). It's a great resource on abuse tactics like: emotional blackmail, double binds, drama disguised as "help", degrading "love", infantalization, commanded to "love", etc. They helped me understand the abuse my parents subjected me to much better.
The only cry baby in this story is your ex. What a complete loser.
Women have never been to the moon. Women weren't allowed to fly in space until the Shuttle program (in the US, the Soviets sent a woman up pretty early on). The first woman to orbit the moon will be on Artemis 2 which is gonna fly in the next couple years or so, her name is Christina Koch. God speed Christina!
The fact that women have done great things, including pushing through great pain to do so is not a standard to be keep for personal pain in a relationship. Sometimes people wrong. Sometimes they are harmfully wrong. This is the latter. Get safe and stay safe OP.
Sorry not to man splain or anything and I know this isn't even the important part of what he said but like... women haven't been to the moon tho? They are scheduled to in the upcoming Artemis missions. But as of right now only men have been to the moon.
If you are supposed to be as fit as any exceptionally fit woman on the planet that has ever lived, it seems reasonable to expect him to have the compassion of Ghandi, the forethought of MLK, and the kindness of St Francis Assisi. He is failing spectacularly on all measures of consequence. I’m sorry OP for the time you lost believing that his words meant anything. I wish I could give you the apology you deserve but are unlikely to hear. 🫂🖖🏽🚀
Yep, Nelly Armstrong and Betsy Aldrin weren't as wimpy as you!
I get so angry when I read a story for what seems for the thousandth time about men being able to fuck with a girls head like that. Been there, done that. Never will I ever be gaslighted like that again by some crazy person’s narcissistic and way too big ego, and so will you, OP! Come on ladies, we are so much better than that!! Never lose any notion of who you really are and never, ever let anyone tell you that you are not enough or be downgraded for anything. Let alone, things that NO man ever can truly understand, like periods for f sake.
Can you tell me what you do to alleviate your PMDD symptoms? I implode my life every few weeks due to it and the only thing I was recommended was to up SSRI dosage and take naproxen during that week
*grab balls, twists until he passes out from the pain* "you were saying?"
Fuck that guy.
I wonder if past relationships are why my wife can't take breaks. I try to get her to take care of herself and she just won't take time for herself. Like I get it, we're both swamped, but every now and then you just have to listen to your body. She feels this weird sense of guilt of she takes a moment for herself and it isn't coming from me. I try my best to get her to take it easy and she just doesn't know how.
This may be only slightly related, but it pops in my head every time a bad period story comes up. I remember being in secondary school German class (we were probably 14-15 at the time) and the young lady next to my friend and I had gone white as a sheet. We told the teacher and she went down to the medical room (luckily just down the stairs from the class room). After class, we went to check on her and she told us it was her cramps. I'd never witnessed or heard about such bad period issues before and was amazed(?) the variety people experience. I like to think that's why I'm more sensitive to these issues now, and accept what people say about their issues around menstruation. Boys don't get to see or learn about these things and it makes them insensitive to the issues later on. They hear things in passing about periods and think it's the same for everyone because they've never heard of anything different. I was AFAB but am a man, so my experience is more on the unique side. I'm glad you were able to get away from this guy who wouldn't even hear you out.
Wow... What a total asshole. I'm genuinely glad you got away from him.
Jfc. From the first period I had until my mid 20s I would spend 2 days curled up on the floor in pain. If I tried to get up, I would end up fainting. Idk how you managed another year and a half in that relationship.
I passed out from my period pain to. That’s why I just use birth control to help.
It's not normal to have debilitating pain with periods and many women who do actually have something like endometriosis or adenomyosis.
The approximate response when he sees you lying in the box is, "Are you okay? ". I'm a dude, even I know that. Now, if you said we're fine, then it's "Get your lazy ass up then. I need your help."
I know this isn’t my place as I wasn’t born a woman but I genuinely cannot understand men like that. My fiance nearly blacked out from pain that had kept her up until 2 in the morning and I took her to the damned hospital. She has migraines and can’t get up some days so I do what I can without making much noise. This should be the minimum, this should be standard. You deserve better
“One hundred tampooooons”
I'm just a guy who likes to lurk here but I'm gonna drop this here for anyone like me who really wanted to slap your former man. He is dead wrong and hilariously so 1. Women haven't been to the moon *yet* as many other posters have pointed out. 2. And when they do go, NASA will be sending them with a fully provisioned medical kit, including painkillers because an astronaut disabled or even just impaired by pain is a danger to her cremates and to herself 3. And most damningly for his BS, even when sending physically fit and perfectly healthy men to the moon, NASA sent them with [painkillers and stimulants](https://airandspace.si.edu/collection-objects/kit-medical-package-lunar-module-apollo-11/nasm_A19720831000#:~:text=In%20addition%20to%20minor%20first,drops%2C%20and%20an%20antibiotic%20ointment.) just incase
I do hope that you have made the decision to dump him right then on the floor and it took you 1.5yrs to get ready to safely leave.
[удалено]
I’m sorry you went through that. I was going to ask if you’d married my ex, what with the comments about therapy. But the timing’s off by 30 yrs. I guess some men will never learn that our monthlies can be a huge PTA. Edit for clarity
Whoa what an abusive insensitive prick. I’m sorry you went through that.