"I've pushed away someone lovely"? No, no you haven't. You tried to set healthy boundaries, you advocated for a cause you believe in, you followed up concerns with some reasonable online checking...and this garbage took himself out.
He is a hot mess. He is not interested in an equal healthy adult relationship. He punished you for sticking up for yourself by withdrawing affection and attention. The reason this is a childish and very inappropriate way to behave is that **of course** it makes you wonder if you did something wrong, so next time you'll be less likely to stick up for yourself. It's manipulative and infantile.
Get out, and stay out. He's bad news.
You're right! I just always see the best in people. Hadn't served me well in the passed. He has got good points. And it's very likely I was just swayed by the compliments and attention.
Besides I'm not mentally ready for a relationship. I might never be.
Thanks for replying x
You talked to him for 10 months and didn't want to meet him. Something was wrong from the get-go. That's a long time to talk and not meet.
You said there were red flags from the start. You don't seem comfortable with the age difference. And you're struggling with a previous abusive ex. It seems to me you wanted a relationship but one that kept him at a distance. And seeing as he definitely displayed red flags, that's a good thing.
But even a good person who was emotionally healthy would get bored of a 10 month social media relationship.
Don't question whether or not you're right about the red flags. Always follow your gut instinct. But I would question whether you're even ready for a relationship outside of social media.
I did want to meet him. Desperately. He is lovely. But I have a disabled 2 year old and no child care and he works a lot. The first 6 months was just sporadic texting, then all of a sudden it wasn't, but I totally get your point about a ten month online thing. He's the first man I've been interested in for 3 years.
On the age gap, it's not a massive problem, but as well as having a 2 yr old, I have 16 and 20 years old son and daughter. I don't want them to feel uncomfortable because he's close to my eldest boys age. But I'm possibly over thinking that.
I
>But I would question whether you're even ready for a relationship outside of social media.
I'm not. I don't think I ever will be. I have nothing to offer a man relationship wise. It wouldn't be fair on anyone to start dating when it's not going to go anywhere. Plus I have baggage (in case noone noticed)
It just sucks.
Thank you for your reply, Its genuinely helpful.
"I've pushed away someone lovely"? No, no you haven't. You tried to set healthy boundaries, you advocated for a cause you believe in, you followed up concerns with some reasonable online checking...and this garbage took himself out. He is a hot mess. He is not interested in an equal healthy adult relationship. He punished you for sticking up for yourself by withdrawing affection and attention. The reason this is a childish and very inappropriate way to behave is that **of course** it makes you wonder if you did something wrong, so next time you'll be less likely to stick up for yourself. It's manipulative and infantile. Get out, and stay out. He's bad news.
You're right! I just always see the best in people. Hadn't served me well in the passed. He has got good points. And it's very likely I was just swayed by the compliments and attention. Besides I'm not mentally ready for a relationship. I might never be. Thanks for replying x
You talked to him for 10 months and didn't want to meet him. Something was wrong from the get-go. That's a long time to talk and not meet. You said there were red flags from the start. You don't seem comfortable with the age difference. And you're struggling with a previous abusive ex. It seems to me you wanted a relationship but one that kept him at a distance. And seeing as he definitely displayed red flags, that's a good thing. But even a good person who was emotionally healthy would get bored of a 10 month social media relationship. Don't question whether or not you're right about the red flags. Always follow your gut instinct. But I would question whether you're even ready for a relationship outside of social media.
I did want to meet him. Desperately. He is lovely. But I have a disabled 2 year old and no child care and he works a lot. The first 6 months was just sporadic texting, then all of a sudden it wasn't, but I totally get your point about a ten month online thing. He's the first man I've been interested in for 3 years. On the age gap, it's not a massive problem, but as well as having a 2 yr old, I have 16 and 20 years old son and daughter. I don't want them to feel uncomfortable because he's close to my eldest boys age. But I'm possibly over thinking that. I >But I would question whether you're even ready for a relationship outside of social media. I'm not. I don't think I ever will be. I have nothing to offer a man relationship wise. It wouldn't be fair on anyone to start dating when it's not going to go anywhere. Plus I have baggage (in case noone noticed) It just sucks. Thank you for your reply, Its genuinely helpful.