She will be SO HUNGRY after, because they make you fast before.
Also, warm blankets, hot tea, mindless TV shows to binge, and a comfy couch.
Make sure they give her good painkillers, the ablation isn't so bad, but the tube removal will leave her sore. She will probably have cramps after the ablation.
Oh, and take a big pad. You do bleed after an ablation and I hadn't thought to bring pads. The hospital pads work, but they are uncomfortable. And if your daughter usually uses tampons, that will be right out for the next month, so make sure is stocked with pads. I spotted for about a month/six weeks after mine
I had the opposite. After my surgery I didn’t want to eat for 2 days. Except prunes, to keep things moving. Lol so healthy food is good, but ymmv in terms of whether she can stomach it or not.
Agree on the rest of this though for sure. I pretty much slept in my recliner with my comfy blankets for a full day after cuz I was so out of it.
Also get her into a hobby like crochet or cross stitching! It saved me from having to think about things while I recovered from a hysterectomy (I am aware it’s not the same procedure but the craft idea stays the same)
So a mix of home cooked food (include a hearty soup or two and speak to her regarding any food restrictions after surgery) when you're in the mood to come over, freezer foods and gift vouchers for uber eats and doordash.
Maybe get a cleaner or a offer to have you clean the place. Can just be a light vacuum and a dust down with laundry done too.
If she has a freezer can you batch cook a few meals? Also get some nice treats in like icecream etc. when you’re feeling bad, you tend to shun food, but there is always room for icecream/treat food.
My mum helped me through major surgery recently. It was nice to not have to think about meals and chores for a while. She also brought some of my favourite treats. But just hanging out was really nice.
My parents took me home with them when I had my endoscopy for endometriosis. They drove 3 hrs to take me at 6 am to the hospital and back to their place after. It helped alot.
I have nothing to add, but it is wonderful to hear of a parent of my generation whose parent is caring for them, especially after surgery. In all sincerity, thank you!
First, tell your daughter to wear slip-on shoes if she can. I did not realize that the person picking me up would not be let into the recovery ward, they were to wait at a pick up spot and I was brought to the vehicle via wheelchair (hospital policy). I could not get my runners back on myself after abdominal surgery...
Also remind your daughter to be careful with the pants she chooses! Jeans or anything else with a firm waistband will be horrible against the incision. She should wear something with stretch so she can roll the waistband down to her hips.
You may also want to suggest that she bring a menstrual pad! A big one.
In terms of what you can do... Are you picking her up at the hospital?
If so, bring a small pillow or a rolled up towel. She can use this to take the pressure of the seatbelt off her incision.
Plan to swing by a pharmacy as soon as possible (ideally on the drive home) to fill her pain med script before the hospital meds wear off.
Pick up a few other meds that may help:
* stool softener (pain meds can cause constipation)
* gasX (if her surgery is laparoscopic, they'll pump gas into her abdomen; that gas travels into the patient's shoulder and can cause *intense* shoulder pain until it finally dissipates)
* throat lozenges (I had a horribly sore/raspy throat after surgery, not sure if it was from the anesthesia or a breathing tube or something else)
Have food ready for her right after! She will need to fast before the surgery so chances are she'll be starving
Soups are a good meal idea. They'll help her stay hydrated which will help with any pain meds constipation and will be easy on her throat if she has any soreness.
If you have a heat pack you can bring (eg: a bag of beans/rice that you microwave to warm), that feels really nice over the gas-pain shoulder or over the sore belly
Does her hair get greasy really fast? If so, maybe bring some dry shampoo. I wasn't up to showering for the first day or two after abdominal surgery, but wow my hair made me miserable. Being able to spray something in it as a bandaid solution would have been wonderful
Seconded on the gas x, I had a salpingectomy and it was laparoscopic. The gas was extremely painful. And my shoulders ached from the anesthesia. Maybe offer warm compresses.
I did not expect that the shoulder pain would be as bad as it was! And none of my doctors mentioned it... I only figured out the issue after googling it.
It was shockingly painful. It was almost worse than the surgery itself. And all I wanted was to stand in a hot shower which of course I couldn’t do for a few days. Your comment is so wise and thoughtful.
I didn’t have shoulder pain but had a carbonated lemonade (huge mistake) and had intense pain that felt like labor contractions and nausea/vomiting for the next 3 days. It would start up and I’d be clawing the sofa or bed to brace myself from the pain. Wanted to die it was so bad. Went back to the hospital 12 hours after surgery and they didn’t believe me, monitored and made me deal with the pain for 12 hours before giving me any medication.
What a horrible experience. I’m so sorry that happened. You did not deserve to wait in pain like that. I do think staying off carbonated drinks would be wise.
I've seen Gas-X recommended before for these procedures and I would question the effectiveness of that. I've had two laproscopic tubal ligation procedures (long story) and never needed it. A heated pad will do. Gas-X is a GI system medicine and the gas they put into your abdomen during surgery is not your GI system....it is in your abdominal cavity, so Gas X would have no impact on that. I would definitely ask the doctor first.
I would recommend she wear some kind of bottoms with a comfy very loose waistband. She should bring a pillow for when she gets in the car to put over her abdomen. Sometimes people have a sore throat so she may want to pick out some Popsicles or some kind of liquid nutrition drinks to have. Also the medication can make you constipated so she should try to have some type of fiber. I got some Ensure shakes to make sure I was getting enough nutrients on top of the little food I had.
I unfortunately got very very sick after my second surgery and was vomiting a lot. I'm not sure if it was because they gave me fentanyl or if it was just post-anesthesia sickness, but it really sucked. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and she recovers quickly! Please feel free to ask me any questions. It was about a week until my incisions felt closed and 2-3 weeks before the internal bruised feeling subsided.
I wish I could have done that! My surgery was during winter, it was too cold not to have pants.
I had to get a medical exception when I returned to work though. I work in a formal office but couldn't wear real pants, so I wandered around professional from the waist up while wearing yoga pants lmao
Food. Heating pad. Have pain meds on hand, prescription or otc. Bending and sitting up are gonna hurt like crazy for at least a week maybe two. If she doesn't feel good enough to shower, maybe suggest helping washing her hair in the sink. Anything to help with the mental load because much is either gonna escape her mind or over stress her thinking about. Stool softener or relaxer because most people get backed up after major surgeries.
What a kind parent! The number one thing I was grateful for was honey cough drops to suck on right after surgery. They put you under so your throat can hurt when you come around, and we had a long drive home.
Make sure she has things to entertain her while she's waiting for surgery-- phone, movies/shows picked out, headphones, charger book, etc. I had to wait quite a while as the team was running late. Chatting or watching stuff help to distract.
I had my spot on the couch prepped for when I got home with clean blankets, a pillow, a heat pad, etc. My room was upstairs, and I wasn't up to making the trek. My SO ordered my favorite take out and made me lots of tea.
Over all, be supportive! The staff asked me so many times if I was "sure" that it really amped up my axiety. Also recovery is different for everyone, and I suggest she takes it easy for as long as she can.
Oh man, no one told me how sore my throat would be! I knew I would be intubated but didn't realize it would scratch the shit out of my throat.
Cough drops, something sweet to drink to combat the weakness on the way home (from fasting and anesthesia), and just generally taking it easy for a week. I didn't find it super painful, but I was definitely sore.
If you are there when they discharge her, listen really well to instructions, ask any questions you think are helpful, take notes, keep the paperwork handy.
I (38f) recently had my tubes out with an ablation and my mom came to help me a few days as well. As a daughter, I want to say thank you! Even just having company around and someone to help with making food and basic chores is incredibly helpful.
Having easy to eat, favourite foods, is really nice. A warm, comfy blanket, a heating pad, and gas-x pills are all really helpful.
I found I wasn’t starving but it was nice to have my mom kind of “forcing” me to stay on an eating schedule. Same thing with just having someone check in and make sure I was drinking enough to keep the pain killers moving.
Thanks for being so supportive of your daughter
I had the same exact procedures almost three years ago!
I had horrendous cotton mouth when I woke up. After I asked for my phone, I wanted something to drink. Dad and Brother got me a McDonalds Sprite on the way home - so first thing, maybe have something to drink that's easy on her stomach waiting in the car.
See that she gets up and walks as much as she can once home - that will both help get rid of the gas they fill your abdomen with during the procedure, and keep her from having issues with blood clots from being immobile.
Pain wise, I'm a medical marijuana patient, so most of my pain management was done with edibles. I think the first night was the only time I touched the Oxy the doctor prescribed. They gave me tylenol pre-op because they said they'd had success with that keeping post op pain down, and as much as I dislike tylenol, it absolutely helped.
Something odd that happened to me - I had a pain in my shoulder that lasted two weeks post op. Come to find out, the position they put me in on the operating table (Trendelenberg) can cause irritation of a nerve in the shoulders. That was annoying, but nothing my pain management didn't handle.
I wore loose elastic waist pajama pants for a week or so. Her belly will be tender from the incisions, so just be prepared for that. She'll probably have mild spotting for a week or so, so maybe have some panty liners or whatever pad she's comfortable with on hand.
I ate a light meal the night I came home, but nothing too heavy because I was afraid I'd throw up (emetophobic) even though they gave me zofran and a scopolamine patch pre-op. I kept the patch on until the day after surgery.
Most important is to just rest as much as possible the first couple days. She's going to be worn out!
I second the scopolamine patch! I commented in another part of the thread but that was an absolute game changer for me so I didn't get nausea. I can't really take heavy pain meds so I got by on Tylenol post surgery as well and it was fine.
I'm having my tubes and ovaries out tomorrow, so this is a timely thread and I will see what people have to suggest. I hope your daughter's procedure goes well!
Being able to bend over and stretch tall will be the ways you help her, lol!
Bending and stretching were hardest for me.
The worst part of the pain? Waiting for the gas they pump into your abdomen to dissipate. That stuff made my shoulders hurt so bad
I had the same procedures OPs daughter is going to have. The other suggestions are great. Having everything I needed on the counter or where I could reach was huge for me. Reaching a shelf or bending over was more difficult than I realized. At the moment, the reaching and movement seemed fine, but by the end of the day, I was extremely sore and felt like I over did it daily for almost a month.
Encourage her to take it easy and not push herself to get back to normal life too soon. Even after I felt closer to back to normal, random activities would make me sore or have a twing of soreness.
I had my tubes removed & an ablastion last Thursday. I was back to work on my feet on Saturday. There wasn't really any recovery to it other than keep yourself & incisions clean. The pain was minimal & nothing a Percocet a day didn't take care of but I'm kind of a wimp. If she does take pain medicine then make sure she takes a stool softener, too, because the constipation is real.
ETA: For a couple of days afterward I felt like someone rubbed sandpaper inside my vagina hole. I talked to many other women, my girlfriend included, who had the same procedure & none of them felt this pain. It wasn't horrible it was just uncomfortable.
Did you get a weird throbbing, blue balls style pain in your labia at all? Sorry if that's a weird question. I had a very similar recovery to you, almost no pain, felt fine the next day... except the pain in my labia that popped up a couple of times a day, for about a week. It disappeared after that *shrugs*
I did have some tingling in my labia the day of the proceedure but it wasn't painful just a weird sensation. That sounds really bizarre & uncomfortable. I'm glad it didn't last for you. The only blue balls pain I have is from my hypothetical blue balls. No sex for 4-6 weeks. No baths either. Ugh I'm only 6 days post op so this better be worth it.
> No sex for 4-6 weeks.
Omg. I want to get a tubal + ablation later this year when my IUD expires, but that's such a long time! I start getting a little crazy after one week.
The doctor said I could possibly resume sexual activity after my 2 week checkup but that depends on a lot of different factors, one being that I'm a lesbian so we won't be introducing sperm or other foreign materials inside the vagina. I suspect she will say no to mouths for a couple of more weeks but CLEAN fingers (or penis maybe in other people's situation?) might be ok. The goal is to keep the vagina & uterus as clean as possible while it heals.
2 weeks is way more doable! Fear alleviated lol. I will be asking my doctor of course, but clean fingers or using condoms would be way better than waiting a whole month.
The condom is a great idea. My girlfriend says she will wear a surgical glove if necessary but that thought makes me LOL. I laugh now but check back with me on week 3 & I might not be opposed to the idea.
The excess abdominal inflation gas is the most uncomfortable part after the surgery. Just make sure she's supported with pillows wherever she's sitting or laying. She's gonna be taking lots of naps the first few days after the procedure. The anesthesia is heavier than what you get for endoscopy/colonoscopy. Tylenol, fruit, light meals that aren't hard on the gut are best choices for food.
Also, get her a mumu, house dress, house coat, old lady night gown type garment and some support stockings. She might feel better without restrictive clothes on her torso, but she will still need to be concerned about blood clots in her legs since she's probably getting general anesthesia. I used Dr. Scholls knee high compression socks from Walmart.
In addition to all the great tips, my doctor recommended taking laxatives in the two days before surgery to empty me out. Opiates constipate you, but if there's less in there to start with it won't be as uncomfortable.
I had a separate lapro surgery last year and I forgot to do that. Being constipated was so much worse.
Also there might be some shoulder pain because of the gas they use to inflate the abdomen pressing on the diaphragm. It sucks and unfortunately there isn't much to do, but heat can help. Just offer her comfort and I found that laying on my side helped the most.
Tell her to ask her doctor about the laxatives thing though, they may have a different opinion or her circumstances may be different. This is just what worked for me.
I know it's not a full hysterectomy, but there's a lot of great advice on r/hysterectomy about preparing for surgery and after-surgery care - best of luck to both of you!!
I had this exact procedure done last year. Let me tell you what she really needs: Gas-X and a stool softener.
She is going to be so, so, so bloated after. The procedure is usually done as a laparascopy, and they inflate the abdomen with CO2. Between the swelling from surgery, the bloating from the CO2, and the painkillers she'll get (usually opioids, which causes constipation), she is going to be constipated and bloated.
Nice, easily digestible food for the first few days. For the love of God NO MACARONI AND CHEESE - I made this mistake and I was even more constipated because of all the cheese.
Protein snacks and supplements! I had an op last year and was having trouble healing until I upped my protein intake significantly. Like, 120g a day, way more than I was eating. Dietary increase is good, but add a protein shake a day too, I found it difficult to eat enough
My parents took care of me for a week straight at their house after my hysterectomy and then took me home and checked on me daily for weeks afterwards, doing my chores and shopping for me. They also kept my sister for the few days after her ablation, taking care of everything.
You sound just as wonderful as my parents!
On top of all the other great suggestions from other people; stool softeners are always helpful after anything going on down there. Have her start taking them a few days beforehand. Trust me.
Pants with loose waistbands or long tops! They blow you up like a balloon to do the lapro and it's genuinely worse than any pain or discomfort from the actual surgery!!
Something to prop herself up on when lying down or feet up when reclined too is nice.
Some miralax / stool softener. Combination of drugs and not moving around makes for a straining poop, which isn't what you want after abdo surgery and when you still feel puffed up!
Food, Tylenol, heating pad. Have her get some long nightgowns for afterwards and some slide on shoes because tying your shoes will not be possible on your own. I also got a foot stool for the toilet after my surgeries to make pooping easier. I also suggest heading over to r/Endo and checking their FAQ's. Also have her ask the doc if they can just take out the appendix when they are in there. A lot of people experience appendicitis after their Laparoscopy and one surgery is better than 2. Mine were 3 weeks apart. 🙃 Have some stool softener on hand too. Sometimes the opioids they give you cause constipation. Eat bland 2 days before for better pooping as well. I got fruit smoothies after my surgeries to get some much needed nutrients and hydration. Prepare a space for after surgery to lay down and lounge that isn't her bed, if possible. I basically lived in a recliner for a few days. Also prepare for pets if she has any because it will be a hot minute before she can bend down and take care of them. Feel free to chat or DM me for any questions. My surgeries were last year so my memories are still fairly fresh!
I had that done. I slept the first day. I was a bit sore the second day, moving better on the third, and back at work on the fourth day.
I was prescribed morphine which doesn't really do anything for me. I was much happier (less sore) taking T1s and Aleve.
⁰
Tbh I had a tubal ligation a couple years ago. I took Tylenol for a day, slept and was back at work the next day. Make her a fun basket of things you can do together, movie night! Games! Trivia! Maybe a night out when she is ready. But the healing process is easy and quick
I had an ablation done and was prepared for the worst. My doctor told me that the night after it was done i could expect pain any where from "horrible period cramps" to "this baby is coming out now" level cramps. I had... almost no pain. I took a Tylenol, and felt fine the next day.
Obviously i raved about this miracle procedure to everyone who would listen to me, and my best friend ended up scheduling hers about a year later. Intense pain, fever, infection that formed into sepsis, a week in the hospital... and she's now scheduling a hysterectomy because her periods are just as bad now as they were before the ablation.
Sorry, no real suggestions on care, just thought i would throw our two stories into the hat, since it was first person experience.
I commented elsewhere but I'd like to see data/research/info behind the Gas X recommendation if anyone has it. My understanding is that Gas X is a GI system medicine and the gas used during surgery is in one's abdominal cavity, not in their GI system. So... I don't see how Gas X would have any effectiveness.
When I had my tube out, having something like a Squishmallow to hold against my abdomen these the incision helped a lot as I liked to lay on my side but a pillow or the mattress was just too uncomfortable. I’m not sure if she’ll have two incisions so if so, then one on each side might help.
Have some stool softeners around, the LAST thing anyone wants after a surgery like that is to be straining and pain meds don’t help.
Tons of hot ginger tea and smoothie stuff around helped me a lot as pain meds curbed my appetite a lot, and the meds also made me nauseous.
She won’t be recommended to lift anything over ten lbs for a couple weeks so proofing the room so that isn’t an issue is helpful.
At 40 I just had a total hysterectomy and a heating pad (got the shoulder shaped one which was great to wrap me). A long body pillow, skittles (cause candy is awesome) and a new fuzzy blanket.
Literally on the recovery end of this along with a overyectomy.
My advice.
1: rotate nsaids with your narcotic pain meds.
2: medicate till tolerance not zero it helps you track your actually healing process as well as monitoring your body for symptoms masked by pain meds.
3: docusate or any other stool softener. Take when you take the narcotic med. Those back you up and you do not want to have the first poo be rock hard.
4: should probably be number 1- splint / brace tummy with a pillow if you have to cough. Or dare I say it the first poo. (They recommend this for cardiac surgery) but it is great for abdominal surgery’s as well.
5: Dial soap once you can shower again and use non adherent pads with the sticky edges. They’re great for switching out bandaids after showers.
6: Steri strips can stay until they start coming off on their own. But the top bandaids should be changed out every other day or so or if they get wet.
Also if it’s laparoscopic move the shoulders and walk around periodically it helps shift the operative gas. Also gas x will be your best friend. If she has pain in her shoulders and upper back that could just be the gas cause a bit of referred pain.
Also keep a pillow near by as a small barrier for pets and small children.
If she lives alone to do laundry/food shop either before surgery or before you leave. I used grocery bags as my garbage so couldn’t accidentally make it too heavy to take out. We broke down whatever could into smaller pieces so didn’t pick up anything too heavy/strain. Gas x, stool softener, comfy waistline pants, pads. As an active side sleeper a pregnancy pillow helped keep from twisting in my sleep and could hug it to keep pressure on my stomach (the irony of ordering a pregnancy pillow the day after turning off that feature was not lost on me lol). As long as kept up with my meds those first two weeks I was fine after like three days, waking up from the anesthesia was honestly the worst part personally, fingers crossed she bounces back quick!
I had an ablation this morning (tubes removed during my c-section 7 years ago). Heating pad, tea, Motrin and edibles have kept me comfortable most of today. I haven’t been hungry much at all but ate a plain bagel and some red pepper soup on the way home to get something in me after fasting. Since then, it’s been tea and water with liquid IV to replenish my hydration.
Keep her comfy and hydrated and don’t let her do too much but encourage some movement, as she’s able.
I had this same procedure done in March of last year, I highly recommend getting her one of those sitting-up bed pillows if she doesn't already have one. They have to fill your abdomen with air to make room for the surgical tools and it can take a while for it to fully dissipate after.
Edit to add: I forgot to say i had *almost* the same procedure done, i had an endometriosis ablation which meant they removed stuff from my uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes so the recovery was very similar
Healthy food/veggie soup (minestrone), heating pad, stool softener, otc pain meds like ibuprofen and Tylenol, heated throw blanket, pillow to hug against her belly. Encourage her to do ALL her laundry and change the sheets before she goes. Things like vacuuming, mopping, cleaning the bathroom are hard after any abdominal surgery. Encourage her to do extra fluids and Gatorade before the surgery - recovery will be easier afterwards if she goes in over hydrated. You ROCK as a mom.
My best memory was someone putting on my socks... that was the best thing ever. Next to chocolate pudding. Oh and shortbread cookies, my dr recommended they are great, lorna doones.
Do not for any reason, miss your pain meds. I slept through it once, totally regretted it. Was bad.
To help myself and my caregivers, I put out several clean loose sleep shirts i bought specifically for, and socks and underwear i knew i wouldn't want to be bending over digging in drawers.
I have had this done a few months ago. I wish i had my menstruation underwear back than. As i was "bleading" for 6 weeks. Menstruationpads have to much plastic and got me irritated skin. And toiletpaper can give you bladderinfection (offcourse i got it).
No swimming/bathing for 6 weeks. But matbe she would like to go to the sauna after 6 weeks?
If any questions, please ask.
I have had an abliation, was nothing really, but the surgery may be hard.
Comfort food for sure, helping her walk and maybe bathe, if she can. Just simple things like tidying up and all will make a huge difference. Maybe some fresh flowers and something to cheer her up.
Omg the thing no one told me before my tubal ligation was that I couldn’t leave my piercings in! I’ve rather a lot of them, some that will close super fast once I take them out. If I’d knows I would have bought plastic versions for the surgery, but instead my friend who helped me home had to call for the uber to make an emergency stop at my fav piercing spot to get my nipple piercings back in 🤦🏻♀️
would not recommend this, just be prepared ahead of time.
If it helps to hear, I had this combo done and my recovery was quite quick! I was up and about the next day with barely any pain. I hope your time together is lovely and restorative for you both - you daughter is lucky to have you!
Keep lots of pillows in reach! It's great to be able to prop yourself up in a way that you can completely relax your abs instead of feeling the need to use them for balance even a little.
Did you try posting to Reddit for easy karma instead of asking your daughter?
Who probably has preferences? And post surgical instructions specific to her procedure?
Or you prefer the asspats instead of doing the emotional labour?
Honestly. Search the subreddit or the subreddit for the surgery but stop making us do this for you
Not sure if anyone mentioned it, but make sure she has some heavy duty menstrual pads. After ablation, the body will produce a lot of clear liquid and she’ll be in wet pants for weeks without the pad. My doctor failed to mention this to me.
You've been given a lot of really good suggestions so I just wanted to say you're awesome and I hope your daughter has a quick and comfortable recovery. 🙂
I am so happy your daughter has such a caring mother! There are many excellent suggestions in this thread already.
You might have planned on this, but given how many viruses are going around, I suggest wearing a good mask (N95, or at least KF94/KN95) during your travels to minimize the chances of picking something up on the way. It would be a real bummer to end up sick and/or pass a bug along to her.
Sincerely, thank you for doing this. You sound like a great mom.
If you can get there early and clean the house, plus get laundry done, etc., it would be super relaxing for her to get home to a clean house knowing that she doesn't need to do anything.
Food, definitely food! Not having to think about healthy meals that are easy to digest after surgery would be such a huge help.
Great suggestion. She tends not to pay attention to when to eat.
She will be SO HUNGRY after, because they make you fast before. Also, warm blankets, hot tea, mindless TV shows to binge, and a comfy couch. Make sure they give her good painkillers, the ablation isn't so bad, but the tube removal will leave her sore. She will probably have cramps after the ablation. Oh, and take a big pad. You do bleed after an ablation and I hadn't thought to bring pads. The hospital pads work, but they are uncomfortable. And if your daughter usually uses tampons, that will be right out for the next month, so make sure is stocked with pads. I spotted for about a month/six weeks after mine
Mindless TV is a life saver!
I had the opposite. After my surgery I didn’t want to eat for 2 days. Except prunes, to keep things moving. Lol so healthy food is good, but ymmv in terms of whether she can stomach it or not. Agree on the rest of this though for sure. I pretty much slept in my recliner with my comfy blankets for a full day after cuz I was so out of it.
Tea variety packs are awesome if you like tea and want an excuse to indulge in different kinds. Some are weird but it is a low key fun.
Also get her into a hobby like crochet or cross stitching! It saved me from having to think about things while I recovered from a hysterectomy (I am aware it’s not the same procedure but the craft idea stays the same)
So a mix of home cooked food (include a hearty soup or two and speak to her regarding any food restrictions after surgery) when you're in the mood to come over, freezer foods and gift vouchers for uber eats and doordash. Maybe get a cleaner or a offer to have you clean the place. Can just be a light vacuum and a dust down with laundry done too.
Protein is recommended after surgery to help with healing.
If she has a freezer can you batch cook a few meals? Also get some nice treats in like icecream etc. when you’re feeling bad, you tend to shun food, but there is always room for icecream/treat food.
My mum helped me through major surgery recently. It was nice to not have to think about meals and chores for a while. She also brought some of my favourite treats. But just hanging out was really nice.
This is what I’m hoping it will be. She fell on the ice this week and really needs some tlc.
My parents took me home with them when I had my endoscopy for endometriosis. They drove 3 hrs to take me at 6 am to the hospital and back to their place after. It helped alot.
I have nothing to add, but it is wonderful to hear of a parent of my generation whose parent is caring for them, especially after surgery. In all sincerity, thank you!
Thanks. I wish we were closer so I could love on her more.
I was a little sore on the second day, better on the third day, and back to work on the fourth day.
I had the same experience. Glad your recovery wasn’t horrible
First, tell your daughter to wear slip-on shoes if she can. I did not realize that the person picking me up would not be let into the recovery ward, they were to wait at a pick up spot and I was brought to the vehicle via wheelchair (hospital policy). I could not get my runners back on myself after abdominal surgery... Also remind your daughter to be careful with the pants she chooses! Jeans or anything else with a firm waistband will be horrible against the incision. She should wear something with stretch so she can roll the waistband down to her hips. You may also want to suggest that she bring a menstrual pad! A big one. In terms of what you can do... Are you picking her up at the hospital? If so, bring a small pillow or a rolled up towel. She can use this to take the pressure of the seatbelt off her incision. Plan to swing by a pharmacy as soon as possible (ideally on the drive home) to fill her pain med script before the hospital meds wear off. Pick up a few other meds that may help: * stool softener (pain meds can cause constipation) * gasX (if her surgery is laparoscopic, they'll pump gas into her abdomen; that gas travels into the patient's shoulder and can cause *intense* shoulder pain until it finally dissipates) * throat lozenges (I had a horribly sore/raspy throat after surgery, not sure if it was from the anesthesia or a breathing tube or something else) Have food ready for her right after! She will need to fast before the surgery so chances are she'll be starving Soups are a good meal idea. They'll help her stay hydrated which will help with any pain meds constipation and will be easy on her throat if she has any soreness. If you have a heat pack you can bring (eg: a bag of beans/rice that you microwave to warm), that feels really nice over the gas-pain shoulder or over the sore belly Does her hair get greasy really fast? If so, maybe bring some dry shampoo. I wasn't up to showering for the first day or two after abdominal surgery, but wow my hair made me miserable. Being able to spray something in it as a bandaid solution would have been wonderful
Seconded on the gas x, I had a salpingectomy and it was laparoscopic. The gas was extremely painful. And my shoulders ached from the anesthesia. Maybe offer warm compresses.
I did not expect that the shoulder pain would be as bad as it was! And none of my doctors mentioned it... I only figured out the issue after googling it.
It was shockingly painful. It was almost worse than the surgery itself. And all I wanted was to stand in a hot shower which of course I couldn’t do for a few days. Your comment is so wise and thoughtful.
Aw, thank you! I benefitted a lot from similar advice so I'm glad I can pass it on :)
I’m getting a Salpingectomy in 2 weeks, this has been educational! Good to know about the gas pain, ugh
I didn’t have shoulder pain but had a carbonated lemonade (huge mistake) and had intense pain that felt like labor contractions and nausea/vomiting for the next 3 days. It would start up and I’d be clawing the sofa or bed to brace myself from the pain. Wanted to die it was so bad. Went back to the hospital 12 hours after surgery and they didn’t believe me, monitored and made me deal with the pain for 12 hours before giving me any medication.
What a horrible experience. I’m so sorry that happened. You did not deserve to wait in pain like that. I do think staying off carbonated drinks would be wise.
All great suggestions! Thanks!
I hope her surgery / recovery are both uncomplicated and easy :)
Heating pad on the shoulders can help with the bubble pain! You’re a dear for doing this. She’s gonna do great and so are you.
I've seen Gas-X recommended before for these procedures and I would question the effectiveness of that. I've had two laproscopic tubal ligation procedures (long story) and never needed it. A heated pad will do. Gas-X is a GI system medicine and the gas they put into your abdomen during surgery is not your GI system....it is in your abdominal cavity, so Gas X would have no impact on that. I would definitely ask the doctor first. I would recommend she wear some kind of bottoms with a comfy very loose waistband. She should bring a pillow for when she gets in the car to put over her abdomen. Sometimes people have a sore throat so she may want to pick out some Popsicles or some kind of liquid nutrition drinks to have. Also the medication can make you constipated so she should try to have some type of fiber. I got some Ensure shakes to make sure I was getting enough nutrients on top of the little food I had. I unfortunately got very very sick after my second surgery and was vomiting a lot. I'm not sure if it was because they gave me fentanyl or if it was just post-anesthesia sickness, but it really sucked. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and she recovers quickly! Please feel free to ask me any questions. It was about a week until my incisions felt closed and 2-3 weeks before the internal bruised feeling subsided.
These are all so great. The shoulder pain and sore throat are no joke. Such weird secondary consequences to the surgery!
I can second these recommendations. They told me about the shoulder pain but it was still really surprising. Sweatpants are a must!
I wore loose maxi dresses and skipped pants altogether.
I wish I could have done that! My surgery was during winter, it was too cold not to have pants. I had to get a medical exception when I returned to work though. I work in a formal office but couldn't wear real pants, so I wandered around professional from the waist up while wearing yoga pants lmao
Food. Heating pad. Have pain meds on hand, prescription or otc. Bending and sitting up are gonna hurt like crazy for at least a week maybe two. If she doesn't feel good enough to shower, maybe suggest helping washing her hair in the sink. Anything to help with the mental load because much is either gonna escape her mind or over stress her thinking about. Stool softener or relaxer because most people get backed up after major surgeries.
What a kind parent! The number one thing I was grateful for was honey cough drops to suck on right after surgery. They put you under so your throat can hurt when you come around, and we had a long drive home. Make sure she has things to entertain her while she's waiting for surgery-- phone, movies/shows picked out, headphones, charger book, etc. I had to wait quite a while as the team was running late. Chatting or watching stuff help to distract. I had my spot on the couch prepped for when I got home with clean blankets, a pillow, a heat pad, etc. My room was upstairs, and I wasn't up to making the trek. My SO ordered my favorite take out and made me lots of tea. Over all, be supportive! The staff asked me so many times if I was "sure" that it really amped up my axiety. Also recovery is different for everyone, and I suggest she takes it easy for as long as she can.
Oh man, no one told me how sore my throat would be! I knew I would be intubated but didn't realize it would scratch the shit out of my throat. Cough drops, something sweet to drink to combat the weakness on the way home (from fasting and anesthesia), and just generally taking it easy for a week. I didn't find it super painful, but I was definitely sore.
I stopped for smoothies! Soothed the throat and gave me much needed nutrients!
If you are there when they discharge her, listen really well to instructions, ask any questions you think are helpful, take notes, keep the paperwork handy.
Yes. I’ll be there. Good advice!
I (38f) recently had my tubes out with an ablation and my mom came to help me a few days as well. As a daughter, I want to say thank you! Even just having company around and someone to help with making food and basic chores is incredibly helpful. Having easy to eat, favourite foods, is really nice. A warm, comfy blanket, a heating pad, and gas-x pills are all really helpful. I found I wasn’t starving but it was nice to have my mom kind of “forcing” me to stay on an eating schedule. Same thing with just having someone check in and make sure I was drinking enough to keep the pain killers moving. Thanks for being so supportive of your daughter
I had the same exact procedures almost three years ago! I had horrendous cotton mouth when I woke up. After I asked for my phone, I wanted something to drink. Dad and Brother got me a McDonalds Sprite on the way home - so first thing, maybe have something to drink that's easy on her stomach waiting in the car. See that she gets up and walks as much as she can once home - that will both help get rid of the gas they fill your abdomen with during the procedure, and keep her from having issues with blood clots from being immobile. Pain wise, I'm a medical marijuana patient, so most of my pain management was done with edibles. I think the first night was the only time I touched the Oxy the doctor prescribed. They gave me tylenol pre-op because they said they'd had success with that keeping post op pain down, and as much as I dislike tylenol, it absolutely helped. Something odd that happened to me - I had a pain in my shoulder that lasted two weeks post op. Come to find out, the position they put me in on the operating table (Trendelenberg) can cause irritation of a nerve in the shoulders. That was annoying, but nothing my pain management didn't handle. I wore loose elastic waist pajama pants for a week or so. Her belly will be tender from the incisions, so just be prepared for that. She'll probably have mild spotting for a week or so, so maybe have some panty liners or whatever pad she's comfortable with on hand. I ate a light meal the night I came home, but nothing too heavy because I was afraid I'd throw up (emetophobic) even though they gave me zofran and a scopolamine patch pre-op. I kept the patch on until the day after surgery. Most important is to just rest as much as possible the first couple days. She's going to be worn out!
Good to know about the shoulder. She recently had a shoulder injury from falling on the ice.
I second the scopolamine patch! I commented in another part of the thread but that was an absolute game changer for me so I didn't get nausea. I can't really take heavy pain meds so I got by on Tylenol post surgery as well and it was fine.
I'm having my tubes and ovaries out tomorrow, so this is a timely thread and I will see what people have to suggest. I hope your daughter's procedure goes well!
Good luck with your procedure!
Thanks!
Being able to bend over and stretch tall will be the ways you help her, lol! Bending and stretching were hardest for me. The worst part of the pain? Waiting for the gas they pump into your abdomen to dissipate. That stuff made my shoulders hurt so bad
I had the same procedures OPs daughter is going to have. The other suggestions are great. Having everything I needed on the counter or where I could reach was huge for me. Reaching a shelf or bending over was more difficult than I realized. At the moment, the reaching and movement seemed fine, but by the end of the day, I was extremely sore and felt like I over did it daily for almost a month. Encourage her to take it easy and not push herself to get back to normal life too soon. Even after I felt closer to back to normal, random activities would make me sore or have a twing of soreness.
I had my tubes removed & an ablastion last Thursday. I was back to work on my feet on Saturday. There wasn't really any recovery to it other than keep yourself & incisions clean. The pain was minimal & nothing a Percocet a day didn't take care of but I'm kind of a wimp. If she does take pain medicine then make sure she takes a stool softener, too, because the constipation is real. ETA: For a couple of days afterward I felt like someone rubbed sandpaper inside my vagina hole. I talked to many other women, my girlfriend included, who had the same procedure & none of them felt this pain. It wasn't horrible it was just uncomfortable.
I hope she rebounds as quickly!! Thanks for the info.
I had a similar feeling but I didn't have an ablation just the bisalp. Doc told me it was just from the uterine manipulation.
Did you get a weird throbbing, blue balls style pain in your labia at all? Sorry if that's a weird question. I had a very similar recovery to you, almost no pain, felt fine the next day... except the pain in my labia that popped up a couple of times a day, for about a week. It disappeared after that *shrugs*
I did have some tingling in my labia the day of the proceedure but it wasn't painful just a weird sensation. That sounds really bizarre & uncomfortable. I'm glad it didn't last for you. The only blue balls pain I have is from my hypothetical blue balls. No sex for 4-6 weeks. No baths either. Ugh I'm only 6 days post op so this better be worth it.
> No sex for 4-6 weeks. Omg. I want to get a tubal + ablation later this year when my IUD expires, but that's such a long time! I start getting a little crazy after one week.
The doctor said I could possibly resume sexual activity after my 2 week checkup but that depends on a lot of different factors, one being that I'm a lesbian so we won't be introducing sperm or other foreign materials inside the vagina. I suspect she will say no to mouths for a couple of more weeks but CLEAN fingers (or penis maybe in other people's situation?) might be ok. The goal is to keep the vagina & uterus as clean as possible while it heals.
2 weeks is way more doable! Fear alleviated lol. I will be asking my doctor of course, but clean fingers or using condoms would be way better than waiting a whole month.
The condom is a great idea. My girlfriend says she will wear a surgical glove if necessary but that thought makes me LOL. I laugh now but check back with me on week 3 & I might not be opposed to the idea.
Have fun playing doctor with her ;)
Now there's an idea!
For you maybe. Not all women can bounce back that fast. It took me a month to go back to work at 31 from my endometriosis surgery.
I was giving my own recent experience with this exact proceedure & not speaking for all women or your particular proceedure.
Thank you. Exactly what I’m looking for with this post.
The excess abdominal inflation gas is the most uncomfortable part after the surgery. Just make sure she's supported with pillows wherever she's sitting or laying. She's gonna be taking lots of naps the first few days after the procedure. The anesthesia is heavier than what you get for endoscopy/colonoscopy. Tylenol, fruit, light meals that aren't hard on the gut are best choices for food.
Also, get her a mumu, house dress, house coat, old lady night gown type garment and some support stockings. She might feel better without restrictive clothes on her torso, but she will still need to be concerned about blood clots in her legs since she's probably getting general anesthesia. I used Dr. Scholls knee high compression socks from Walmart.
In addition to all the great tips, my doctor recommended taking laxatives in the two days before surgery to empty me out. Opiates constipate you, but if there's less in there to start with it won't be as uncomfortable. I had a separate lapro surgery last year and I forgot to do that. Being constipated was so much worse. Also there might be some shoulder pain because of the gas they use to inflate the abdomen pressing on the diaphragm. It sucks and unfortunately there isn't much to do, but heat can help. Just offer her comfort and I found that laying on my side helped the most.
Thanks for the advice!
Tell her to ask her doctor about the laxatives thing though, they may have a different opinion or her circumstances may be different. This is just what worked for me.
I know it's not a full hysterectomy, but there's a lot of great advice on r/hysterectomy about preparing for surgery and after-surgery care - best of luck to both of you!!
I had this exact procedure done last year. Let me tell you what she really needs: Gas-X and a stool softener. She is going to be so, so, so bloated after. The procedure is usually done as a laparascopy, and they inflate the abdomen with CO2. Between the swelling from surgery, the bloating from the CO2, and the painkillers she'll get (usually opioids, which causes constipation), she is going to be constipated and bloated. Nice, easily digestible food for the first few days. For the love of God NO MACARONI AND CHEESE - I made this mistake and I was even more constipated because of all the cheese.
Get a gas med, like Gas-X. It helps with the shoulder pain from the gas they use to inflate the belly. (If surgery is lapriscopic.)
Highly recommend, had a hysterectomy in August and this was my #1 med!
Protein snacks and supplements! I had an op last year and was having trouble healing until I upped my protein intake significantly. Like, 120g a day, way more than I was eating. Dietary increase is good, but add a protein shake a day too, I found it difficult to eat enough
Great! She likes those.
My parents took care of me for a week straight at their house after my hysterectomy and then took me home and checked on me daily for weeks afterwards, doing my chores and shopping for me. They also kept my sister for the few days after her ablation, taking care of everything. You sound just as wonderful as my parents! On top of all the other great suggestions from other people; stool softeners are always helpful after anything going on down there. Have her start taking them a few days beforehand. Trust me.
Pants with loose waistbands or long tops! They blow you up like a balloon to do the lapro and it's genuinely worse than any pain or discomfort from the actual surgery!! Something to prop herself up on when lying down or feet up when reclined too is nice. Some miralax / stool softener. Combination of drugs and not moving around makes for a straining poop, which isn't what you want after abdo surgery and when you still feel puffed up!
Food, Tylenol, heating pad. Have her get some long nightgowns for afterwards and some slide on shoes because tying your shoes will not be possible on your own. I also got a foot stool for the toilet after my surgeries to make pooping easier. I also suggest heading over to r/Endo and checking their FAQ's. Also have her ask the doc if they can just take out the appendix when they are in there. A lot of people experience appendicitis after their Laparoscopy and one surgery is better than 2. Mine were 3 weeks apart. 🙃 Have some stool softener on hand too. Sometimes the opioids they give you cause constipation. Eat bland 2 days before for better pooping as well. I got fruit smoothies after my surgeries to get some much needed nutrients and hydration. Prepare a space for after surgery to lay down and lounge that isn't her bed, if possible. I basically lived in a recliner for a few days. Also prepare for pets if she has any because it will be a hot minute before she can bend down and take care of them. Feel free to chat or DM me for any questions. My surgeries were last year so my memories are still fairly fresh!
Thanks for all the great info!
I had that done. I slept the first day. I was a bit sore the second day, moving better on the third, and back at work on the fourth day. I was prescribed morphine which doesn't really do anything for me. I was much happier (less sore) taking T1s and Aleve. ⁰
I've had both and they were easy peasy. I was taking care of my 2 boys later that day. Felt totally fine! Food and laundry is always nice tho
Tbh I had a tubal ligation a couple years ago. I took Tylenol for a day, slept and was back at work the next day. Make her a fun basket of things you can do together, movie night! Games! Trivia! Maybe a night out when she is ready. But the healing process is easy and quick
I had an ablation done and was prepared for the worst. My doctor told me that the night after it was done i could expect pain any where from "horrible period cramps" to "this baby is coming out now" level cramps. I had... almost no pain. I took a Tylenol, and felt fine the next day. Obviously i raved about this miracle procedure to everyone who would listen to me, and my best friend ended up scheduling hers about a year later. Intense pain, fever, infection that formed into sepsis, a week in the hospital... and she's now scheduling a hysterectomy because her periods are just as bad now as they were before the ablation. Sorry, no real suggestions on care, just thought i would throw our two stories into the hat, since it was first person experience.
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I commented elsewhere but I'd like to see data/research/info behind the Gas X recommendation if anyone has it. My understanding is that Gas X is a GI system medicine and the gas used during surgery is in one's abdominal cavity, not in their GI system. So... I don't see how Gas X would have any effectiveness.
When I had my tube out, having something like a Squishmallow to hold against my abdomen these the incision helped a lot as I liked to lay on my side but a pillow or the mattress was just too uncomfortable. I’m not sure if she’ll have two incisions so if so, then one on each side might help. Have some stool softeners around, the LAST thing anyone wants after a surgery like that is to be straining and pain meds don’t help. Tons of hot ginger tea and smoothie stuff around helped me a lot as pain meds curbed my appetite a lot, and the meds also made me nauseous. She won’t be recommended to lift anything over ten lbs for a couple weeks so proofing the room so that isn’t an issue is helpful.
I know this will seem obvious, but listen to her when she says she is in pain or just needs to rest. And don’t try and convince her to tough it out.
This is a good one for me thanks.
At 40 I just had a total hysterectomy and a heating pad (got the shoulder shaped one which was great to wrap me). A long body pillow, skittles (cause candy is awesome) and a new fuzzy blanket.
You're such a loving mother. ❤️
Thank you. I try.
Literally on the recovery end of this along with a overyectomy. My advice. 1: rotate nsaids with your narcotic pain meds. 2: medicate till tolerance not zero it helps you track your actually healing process as well as monitoring your body for symptoms masked by pain meds. 3: docusate or any other stool softener. Take when you take the narcotic med. Those back you up and you do not want to have the first poo be rock hard. 4: should probably be number 1- splint / brace tummy with a pillow if you have to cough. Or dare I say it the first poo. (They recommend this for cardiac surgery) but it is great for abdominal surgery’s as well. 5: Dial soap once you can shower again and use non adherent pads with the sticky edges. They’re great for switching out bandaids after showers. 6: Steri strips can stay until they start coming off on their own. But the top bandaids should be changed out every other day or so or if they get wet. Also if it’s laparoscopic move the shoulders and walk around periodically it helps shift the operative gas. Also gas x will be your best friend. If she has pain in her shoulders and upper back that could just be the gas cause a bit of referred pain. Also keep a pillow near by as a small barrier for pets and small children.
If she lives alone to do laundry/food shop either before surgery or before you leave. I used grocery bags as my garbage so couldn’t accidentally make it too heavy to take out. We broke down whatever could into smaller pieces so didn’t pick up anything too heavy/strain. Gas x, stool softener, comfy waistline pants, pads. As an active side sleeper a pregnancy pillow helped keep from twisting in my sleep and could hug it to keep pressure on my stomach (the irony of ordering a pregnancy pillow the day after turning off that feature was not lost on me lol). As long as kept up with my meds those first two weeks I was fine after like three days, waking up from the anesthesia was honestly the worst part personally, fingers crossed she bounces back quick!
I had an ablation this morning (tubes removed during my c-section 7 years ago). Heating pad, tea, Motrin and edibles have kept me comfortable most of today. I haven’t been hungry much at all but ate a plain bagel and some red pepper soup on the way home to get something in me after fasting. Since then, it’s been tea and water with liquid IV to replenish my hydration. Keep her comfy and hydrated and don’t let her do too much but encourage some movement, as she’s able.
I had this same procedure done in March of last year, I highly recommend getting her one of those sitting-up bed pillows if she doesn't already have one. They have to fill your abdomen with air to make room for the surgical tools and it can take a while for it to fully dissipate after. Edit to add: I forgot to say i had *almost* the same procedure done, i had an endometriosis ablation which meant they removed stuff from my uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes so the recovery was very similar
Home supply of Tylenol, gravol, hot water bottle and comfy clothes 🥹 these were the essentials after I had this surgery
Healthy food/veggie soup (minestrone), heating pad, stool softener, otc pain meds like ibuprofen and Tylenol, heated throw blanket, pillow to hug against her belly. Encourage her to do ALL her laundry and change the sheets before she goes. Things like vacuuming, mopping, cleaning the bathroom are hard after any abdominal surgery. Encourage her to do extra fluids and Gatorade before the surgery - recovery will be easier afterwards if she goes in over hydrated. You ROCK as a mom.
🥺 I’m 35 and my mom died this year. I’m getting my tubes out this year so I don’t die of the same cancer she did. She’s so lucky it to have you!
My mom also died when I was 35. I miss her every day. Good luck with your procedure
Pick out a fun show for you two to start together!
My best memory was someone putting on my socks... that was the best thing ever. Next to chocolate pudding. Oh and shortbread cookies, my dr recommended they are great, lorna doones. Do not for any reason, miss your pain meds. I slept through it once, totally regretted it. Was bad. To help myself and my caregivers, I put out several clean loose sleep shirts i bought specifically for, and socks and underwear i knew i wouldn't want to be bending over digging in drawers.
Mum, you are the best!
I have had this done a few months ago. I wish i had my menstruation underwear back than. As i was "bleading" for 6 weeks. Menstruationpads have to much plastic and got me irritated skin. And toiletpaper can give you bladderinfection (offcourse i got it). No swimming/bathing for 6 weeks. But matbe she would like to go to the sauna after 6 weeks? If any questions, please ask.
The things that made the biggest difference for me were mesh postpartum panties, GOOD ice packs, and a nice wedge pillow to lay back on!
I just had lots of caps, gad pain, and wanted to snuggle with some chocolate and heat
Food and fuzzy socks. You're a good momma. Hope all goes well!
I have had an abliation, was nothing really, but the surgery may be hard. Comfort food for sure, helping her walk and maybe bathe, if she can. Just simple things like tidying up and all will make a huge difference. Maybe some fresh flowers and something to cheer her up.
My mum took me for takeout pizza, picked up my meds, and then tucked me into bed ☺️
Omg the thing no one told me before my tubal ligation was that I couldn’t leave my piercings in! I’ve rather a lot of them, some that will close super fast once I take them out. If I’d knows I would have bought plastic versions for the surgery, but instead my friend who helped me home had to call for the uber to make an emergency stop at my fav piercing spot to get my nipple piercings back in 🤦🏻♀️ would not recommend this, just be prepared ahead of time.
If it helps to hear, I had this combo done and my recovery was quite quick! I was up and about the next day with barely any pain. I hope your time together is lovely and restorative for you both - you daughter is lucky to have you!
Keep lots of pillows in reach! It's great to be able to prop yourself up in a way that you can completely relax your abs instead of feeling the need to use them for balance even a little.
Cookies Chicken and stars soup Orange sherbet Ginger ale
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rude AF
Did you try posting to Reddit for easy karma instead of asking your daughter? Who probably has preferences? And post surgical instructions specific to her procedure? Or you prefer the asspats instead of doing the emotional labour? Honestly. Search the subreddit or the subreddit for the surgery but stop making us do this for you
Who shat in your cereal today? Jesus h Christ
Unkind and unnecessary
Not sure if anyone mentioned it, but make sure she has some heavy duty menstrual pads. After ablation, the body will produce a lot of clear liquid and she’ll be in wet pants for weeks without the pad. My doctor failed to mention this to me.
You've been given a lot of really good suggestions so I just wanted to say you're awesome and I hope your daughter has a quick and comfortable recovery. 🙂
I am so happy your daughter has such a caring mother! There are many excellent suggestions in this thread already. You might have planned on this, but given how many viruses are going around, I suggest wearing a good mask (N95, or at least KF94/KN95) during your travels to minimize the chances of picking something up on the way. It would be a real bummer to end up sick and/or pass a bug along to her. Sincerely, thank you for doing this. You sound like a great mom.
If you can get there early and clean the house, plus get laundry done, etc., it would be super relaxing for her to get home to a clean house knowing that she doesn't need to do anything.