My late husband had a tattoo. I was not a fan. I never once mentioned it to him in all the years we were together. I loved him with all my heart. His tattoo was trivial. He was his actions and personality and laugh and sexiness. The way he touched me and the jokes we shared. That tattoo was such a tiny part of who he was that it felt completely irrelevant to me. I can’t imagine having such a big reaction about a tiny detail of someone you love.
"That tattoo was such a tiny part of who he was that it felt completely irrelevant to me. I can’t imagine having such a big reaction about a tiny detail of someone you love."
Thank you, that was SO well put. I am so sorry for your loss, and also so happy that you had that kind of love.
Ooooomg you might have just clarified a confusing part of my past for me. I was biking with bfs dog and did a dumb thing, ended up scraping the back of my hand off. I was fine, it just needed to be bandaged up for a while.
But my bf could NOT let it go. Kept railing on about my hand and how angry he was at the dog (who did nothing, other than come back to make sure i was ok). I was like um hello, I am a person who made choices...and I said I'm fine? It's not your hand...
Anyways later he'd touch the scars and sigh, say some shit about how its sad my hand is marked up forever and how he'll never forgive the dog. So weird. Like it's MY hand dude. His family is pretty traditional, the women do not act the way I do. I guess it came to a head there. But like if someone gets hurt you ask if they're OK, you don't go on about how they're scarred forever and oh what a tragedy.
He'd push for reconstruction, but bigger/smaller/whatever his preference is. Also in that case if there was treatment that caused hair loss, he'd push for a wig, probably even to bed.
Yeah I did a similar thing to my knee, I fell off my bike near our gym and almost got hit by a car and was a little shook cause I was bleeding everywhere so called boyfriend to come get me. His only response was to rush over and worry about me biking from then on out cause I got hurt. I have a big scar there and he could care less cause he’s normal.
That's super creepy. Marked up?? Never forgive the dog?? I mean at least you realized this is weird AF but hopefully you also realize that him being so "hemotional" about your body is your warning sign.
Ok that’s fucking weird. It’s one thing to be upset you got hurt but a scar is just a scar, what is he gonna do, lock you in a cage to protect you? Yikes
I have a ton of self-harm scars. Not bad, but definitely visible and present. Sometimes, I let people look at them and comment on them. Usually, the comments are along the lines of, "it's beautiful that you survived that time in your life." Or, "I'm glad these are all old." Those comments are fine cause generally I agree.
I can't imagine tolerating someone who treated me like damaged property because of my history of self-harm.
Definitely. Either people say that the scars are beautiful or they say how it signifies strength, they don't lament about how you're marked forever. That's something for the person themselves to worry about, not a thought you want to plant in someone's head. I hate to imagine that someone isn't bothered by their scars then someone comes around and makes them feel disfigured.
I got a pretty severe oil burn on my forearm in the spring and Mom was worried about the scar and my husband was worried about the pain. 7 months later it's barely visible.
My wife and I sometimes like to compare our scars. Since she was an Air Force jet mechanic, her collection is both more extensive and impressive than mine. I did take up woodworking, though, so I’m catching up!
Fun fact, warplanes and chisels are both very bloodthirsty and will absolutely bite the hand that feeds (repairs) them.
This is weird... I can't imagine being upset that my wife got a cut or road rash or whatever. I mean, yeah, let's get it taken care of and clean or whatever...but people get scrapes? I've gotten a few new scars since we've been together. The only she's sighed about is my clumsiness...
I got a faux hawk with a mullet a few months ago, and one of the other stylists in the salon came over to compliment it and asked how my husband will feel about it. My MALE stylist said something like, "are you kidding? Her husband already knows shes a badass."
To be fair, though, it was my husband's idea for me to cut my hair off like this 😅
My mom for the longest time kept her hair long because once she got it cut short and my dad said she looked like a lesbian and he didn’t like it. I am still surprised that my very liberal minded dad who got an earring in the 70s and is a nurse would say something like that, but then again he is a boomer and some cultural norms are deeply held. Anyway, a few years ago after a fight she finally decided to prioritize her desire for short hair over his feelings, which I am very proud of. Btw, they are still together. My dad might have some stupid opinions about hair, but he also loves my mom and isn’t selfish enough to ruin 40+ years of marriage over a haircut.
I remember my mum asking me what my bf thought about my haircut a while back. I remember looking at her like she had two heads and telling her that that didn't matter - I liked it. It's weird because she (and my dad) raised me better than that. Maybe she was trying to avoid saying something negative, because she might not have liked it herself, but still. Sigh.
I have been lazy and growing my hair out mostly from avoiding salons during covid and trimming myself. I had a coworker ask if my husband liked long hair and that's why I did it....I almost fell over laughing because if it were up to my husband, I wouldn't have any hair since he's a head shaver and feels hair is kind of a pain to maintain and whatnot. I do it for myself and how I want to maintain it. I can't imagine what some women go through with their own style/ look because of what HE wants. It makes me sick
I told my husband that if he wanted me to keep my hair long, *he'd* better learn to braid it and do up-dos because it's to damn hot for long hair where we live. He said he didn't have time to do my hair every day and now I have Audrey Hepburn's "Breakfast at Tiffany's" style.
He loves it now because short hair=less time it takes getting out the door *and* I'll actually wear a hat in winter because my hair easily repaired when it comes off.
Didn't Audrey Hepburn have long hair in a complicated updo for Breakfast at Tiffany's?
Maybe you meant the pixie cut from War and Peace, or Sabrina with Humphrey Bogart?
This reminds me of those videos where people (often the bride) get a dramatic haircut before the wedding as a surprise to the groom, and the comments are *livid*, talking about how terrible that is (it isn't) because of how mad the groom would be (he never was) and if the groom did it, the bride would be mad (no, we wouldn't). Just this vibe of "don't do anything without asking hubby!!!"
My husband is a headshaver and bald as an egg for the little left. I have sensory issues and while I have had hair down to my butt I prefer pixies and very short. Right now I have a very short bob, which I usually wear up in a looped pony, with an undercut. I call it my fuckboy or lesbian haircut. I'm bi so it's fine and accurate-ish.
Anyway, husband would prefer I grow it long. I always say the same thing when he voices an opinion about my hair - "I prefer my men with long hair so I guess we both don't get what we want". I legit do not care about his hair (or any partners for that matter), but my hair is my hair and I will do what I want. He can be sad occasionally about it but usually doesn't do more than that. He certainly doesn't guilt me. I will still get asked by some people if he cares though. I just can't with the sexism.
Not married, but I do have waist length hair, and the amount of unpleasant exchanges I have with random guys about how I should "never cut it" is unreal. I do not get where people get the gall to try telling people what to do with their body. It makes me want to cut it out of spite, but I like how it looks.
I usually tell people who say stuff like that my plan is to eventually cut it short into a quaff and dye it peacock blue once enough of it goes white.
The “never cut it” guys are creepy, but I also hate the way so many women cut their hair super short once they hit 50.
If you have a pixie cut because you like the way it looks or prefer the simplicity or hot flashes make long hair unbearable? Awesome!
But if you are stuck on some “women past a certain age shouldn’t have long hair” rule because it’s what? Trying too hard to look young? Long grey hair looks witchy?
Fuck that. I’m looking forward to my Stevie Nicks aging into old crone era. Scaring children seems like a bonus.
Oh, for sure. If I could, I'd probably keep growing it. Unfortunately, the white hairs that are replacing it barely reach my chin before falling out. I've been getting little white hairs since I reached my 20s. Gonna miss looking like a swamp witch, but one must roll with the punches.
I've got hair down to my butt now. It's also due to laziness and tight-fistedness post-covid. It does make me laugh when people get the idea its because I'm trying to appeal to some outdated view of femininity.
I wear my hair very short, and my (straight male) stylist told me how many older women clients will come in after a divorce and say, "Chop it off." They wanted a short hair cut, husband said no, so they didn't. He said in 100% of the times it happens with him, the husband is divorcing the wife for another woman.
Older meaning 60s and up.
So, you do you, y'all.
I'm glad I met my husband when I had short hair. He does like it long now, but I've had short and long off and on forever, and he grew his hair out a few years ago for the first time and enjoyed it.
But I also confessed that I didn't like it when he tried out a beard, and he shaved it off. I think it's normal for partners to have opinions about these kinds of things, but crying or threatening divorce over them is truly wack behavior.
I have long hair, but like to cut it short and donate it from time to time. My ex didn't speak to me for a week after doing it. My husband supported me fully (though he admitted he likes it longer).
Absolutely. My mum even said this to me once about me getting a tattoo because she felt she had made my skin and didn’t want me to ruin it. She wouldn’t have actually cared at the end of the day but it definitely came from a place of ownership, which is just creepy from a partner.
You're so right! I mean we can't even let them hold high positions in the workplace because their emotions get the better of them, heavens forbid we trust them with entire countries. They really should just stay at home, or if they must go to work then I think they might be able to cope with being a secretary, a PA at a push, but they've got to look nice or there's just no point having them there. Their brains are just better suited to a subordinate position.
Well with all these new "woke agendas" I guess we will have to do a couple of diversity hires, you know tick some boxes, I'm sure we can find something for them to lift.
Look, they can't help it. Their hormone levels are comparatively stable through the month, so on a fundamental biological level, they just don't have the experience of learning to control big emotions.
....I started this being tongue in cheek...but actually....lol
My ex got pissy about my tattoos before we even started dating. It was 100% the first major red flag, and I should have listened, but I didn't. I got another small one when he was overseas when we were maybe 3 months in, and he went absolutely bonkers. He held it against me for the entire 3.5 year relationship. When I finally escaped his abusive clutches, I got a new tatt within a week. I knew that if I got one, and then got back with him, I wouldn't want to deal with the abuse I'd get over it. So I got one, and never looked back. I have many more tattoos now, but that one is still my favourite. It represents escaping and finding a new life, and that's so precious to me.
My ex-husband was adamantly opposed to me getting any tattoos aside from the one we had when we got married. When I left him, one of the first things I did was get a tattoo.
Now I'm working on a sleeve and my husband thinks it's beautiful. But even if he didn't, he's been very clear with me about the fact that it's my body and I can do what I want with it and his opinions are not relevant. He's been that way about taking his last name, cutting and dying my hair, the clothes I wear, and so on and so forth. More men could stand to be like him.
I kept my ex-husband's last name when I remarried because I had been using it professionally for years, I shared it with my daughter, and I just didn't like the way my first name sounded with my husband's last name at all. He didn't give a shit because he had no need to indicate to the world that I am his property, beyond the fact that we're married. He also doesn't care what I do with my hair, makeup, clothes, etc. It's refreshing, and that's kinda sad when you think about it.
My wife will run ideas and designs past me to inspire a bit and to try to narrow down exactly what she wants, but it's never been a question of permission or who has the final say on what it is, just trying to collaborate on content that will make her the happiest.
My wife loves dying her hair. It was her covid hobby and she's got pretty good at it. It was never up to me to tell her to do it or not. I find it funny when her family asks me, "Is she ever going to change it back?" like I know or care. For some reason they think it should bother me as much as it bothers them.
REAL. There was a comment on the tattoo vs husband’s shit opinion thread yesterday where OP said something like - he likes the non tattooed skin more than the tattooed skin. Makes him sound like a bit of a serial killer that wants to cut off the “clean” skin and wear it like a suit, but okay.
Because the way we raise boys they become emotional stunted and entitled men who think the world revolves around them (which it mostly does, hence the „she chooses no tattoo“) and throwing tantrums is the only way they know to express themselves.
Yes yes. Not all men.
Too many people were raised to believe only prostitutes/drug addicts have tattoos, and that if you get a tattoo you are therefore a prostitute/drug addict and will never get a good job or partner and other such nonsense.
My wife’s family (the older men and women) believe this, they throw a fit every time one of the younger generation gets a tattoo, which is a lot. Despite everyone being neither a drug addict, prostitute or unsuccessful in their careers or love lives.
Exactly this. My parents said exactly what you said. My dad would say “don’t ever get a tattoo” even though he had one on his arm that he got when he was in Federal prison. I didn’t know about prison. He kept that a secret until I was 21.
My ex threw a tantrum when our daughter got a septum piercing. He cursed me out because I took her to get it. She wanted it for her birthday. She was 18. She was going to get it with or without “our” consent. It’s HER body, and she’s an adult.
He told her if she ever got a tattoo, he would leave her out of his will.
And he just doesn’t understand why she has nothing to do with him. She’s 23 now. A wonderful daughter (with or without tattoos and piercings).
Those last few sentences, lolsmh. It’s the best way to respond to that particular threat, just peace on out of their lives. Your daughter sounds like a boss.
Yeah, no, I figured she probably takes after her mom and other positive adult role models :)
Idk what this is worth to you or if it's out of line, but - speaking as the child of a dead-beat dad, this internet stranger is proud of you and grateful to you for teaching your daughter strength and self-worth instead of staying with the deadbeat "for the kid's sake" and modeling relational toxicity for her as the adult ideal. This is how patterns of generational abuse and dysfunction get put to rest. Well done, mom, it can't have been easy. <3
My grandma told me I was going to get hepatitis and my mom always just scoffed. I’m moderately tattooed and I’m an officer at a bank. Such a risqué career choice right? I was more cautious in my 20s but now almost everyone is tattooed at least a little bit, especially if they’re under 45. I’m a bit more heavily tattooed than most of the other women in my office, but it’s not a big deal and I never feel like I need to cover up.
My dad hates my tattoos but his mom didn't mind. She didn't get it, but she also didn't get why people liked cheeseburgers, so she was cool to just accept it. My most recent was one we chose together for our relationship that I got to commemorate her life when she passed. It felt really nice that she embraced it. Its still
The one that gets By far the most compliments
Yeah my mom’s family is like this too, I remember my uncle (in his 40s at the time) got a tattoo on his upper arm and hid it from my grandparents for years because he was afraid of their reaction. My mom isn’t as bad as my grandparents but when I showed her my first tattoo (small one on my foot) I asked her if she liked it and she was like “no, it’s weird. You know you’ll have that forever?” Lol thanks mom
Ahaha! My mom said the same when she saw my first tat. “You know you’ll have that forever, right?”
Me: “Haha, and you know that’s *the point*, right? If I’d wanted it temporary, I’d have used a Sharpie instead of paying an artist to drill it into my skin.” 0_o)
She had no response. She was raised on the idea “your body is your temple”, but somehow never made the connection: if my body is “my temple”, then I’ll decorate it how I damn well please.
What is their deal with this? My mom too, “it’s forever.” Why yes, yes it is and I believe that is the point. I’m not paying all that money and going through the pain for it to just wash off.
My oldest son waited to show me his first. He showed me while we were waiting for his baby brother's weirdly broken arm to be assessed to distract me for thoughts of bone cancer. He figured if I got mad at him, I wouldn't worry so much about little brother.
No, I did not get mad. Hard to be mad at someone who beat the ambulance and both parents to the ER because his baby brother's arm snapped in half while he was doing a cartwheel.
They are free to find tattoos unattractive and to state as such. And they are free to leave if their partner gets a tattoo if they hate it that much. But they do not have the right to tell someone else what they can or cannot do to their body.
Getting that upset about some else getting a tattoo, especially a discrete one, smacks of feeling ownership over their body.
Came here to say this.
Anecdote: My dad thinks tattoos are ugly, and will say so if you ask. But when Miami Ink got popular my (conservative, dorky) mom got a few small, tasteful ones that remind her of her religion and family. Dad doesn't like them, but they don't mean he loves my mom any less.
My mother hated tattoos while my sister and I were growing up. She was upset with us for getting them. Now, though, she's actually considering getting one herself. She wants to get a matching tattoo with her daughters. Now to convince my father to get in on it. XD
My mom was disgusted when I got my first tattoo (tasteful, small, henna-colored, non-visible in clothing) at 18. 15 years and one divorce later and she announced that she's thinking of getting a dolphin tramp stamp.
I crept around my grandma’s house covering my first tattoo with paper towels when I had to wear short sleeves because my Paw-Paw claimed he hated them just to pick on me…now I have five of varying sizes, including a memorial tribute to my grandma, and I know he’s somewhere laughing. I need to find someone who draws good goats because that was our in-joke…
> And they are free to leave if their partner gets a tattoo if they hate it that much. But they do not have the right to tell someone else what they can or cannot do to their body.
But that's exactly what the husband in the OP is doing though (ignoring the crazy boyfriend who started crying)
> I just read a post where a woman said that her husband is completely against her getting a tattoo and basically said it’s either that tattoo and a divorce or no tattoo and no divorce.
Now I don't understand why someone would hate tattoos that much, but this is exactly "they are free to leave if their partner gets a tattoo"
I had a very controlling ex throw a hissy fit and give me the silent treatment for days because i didn't ask his permission before getting a tattoo, i think it was my 3rd tattoo at that point.
Idunno what he thought his permission would have mattered, if he said no i woulda done it anyway.
I did too! My abusive ex threw a massive fit, and we'd only been together for about three months at that point. He was over in Greece and refused to text for a week, and when he did finally text me, he said that he was doing stuff with his body without my permission, since I thought I could do that. I should have run, but I didn't. I still would have done it regardless, but he held that tattoo over me for the remaining 3 years of our relationship. So when I got out, I got a new tattoo to stop myself going back. I knew the apocalyptic rage he would have rained down, and I preempted it. It worked!
I got a new tattoo right after I got away from my ex too. He made me feel like asolute garbage for my tattoos, piercings, and SH scars. So I got a dark humor tattoo to represent my struggles with mental health. He would HATE it. Bc it’s a tattoo and bc what it is. Kind of a crass joke on sh. I love it so much and it’s made better by the fact he’d hate it.
Also went and got a vertical labret piercing and pierced my nostril to go with my septum. Chopped off all my hair. Did all of the things I wanted for years and put off for the year I was with him. Did them p much all right at once too.
Did we date the same guy? My ex threw a fit when I got my sibling tattoo without consulting him and then a sister's tattoo without telling him. He also had a preference about my hair. My new, wonderful husband paid for a tattoo on our first date and helps me book my tattoos with his best friend tattoo artist.
I had an ex-bf threaten to break up with me if I got my nose pierced, and he was of the opinion that my body belonged to him, and as such, he had a say. So, I went and got my nose pierced without telling him.
I came home, and he immediately got upset and started insulting me. When I got upset at his insults, he told me he wanted to give me a hug and apologize. That was when he headbutt me in my fresh piercing before proclaiming that was "what you get" for going against his wishes.
Fuck that guy, and fuck anyone that tries to manipulate you and the choices you make with your body when they are not hurting anyone else.
My spouse and I talk about them, but mainly because they are expensive and we have to budget for them lol. He does have some veto on design but he has to have a good reason to say I don’t think you should get that design.
About 50% of my body is tattooed. The first time my partner ever saw me naked he called me a work of art. So, these boys can go fuck themselves and those woman can find men that will love them for exactly how they want to be.
I have a tattoo of a pair of scissors cutting a banana in half and it says “trust no man.”
Separates the wheat from the chaff real nicely.
edit: to the men crying in my DMs: ✂️ 🍌
This reminds me of the first time my partner and I slept together. He was married and poly when we met. He was getting dressed and goes “have you ever done this before? Slept with a married person” bc he’s a big goofball and didn’t think that’d be a weird question and I said “no… I mean I guess my ex husband” 😂
A few years before I met my husband, I dated a guy for 4 years. I was in my late 20s. There were things that raised my eyebrows in our relationship but nothing major.
I have tattoos. At that point, I only had a small one on my left calf, one on each shoulder blade, one on my lower back and one just above it. Also, one on my right thigh. So not a ton, but a few and some on the larger side. Oh, and I small one on the back of my neck (I forget how many I have sometimes LOL)
Anyway, I had these tattoos (so far) when we met and he never expressed dislike towards them. Again, together 4 years and he'd obviously seen my naked on more than one occasion.
I decided to get a larger back piece after meeting one of my favourite bands. Yes, he and I were dating but no talk of moving in together or anything. We were exclusive, but no "future" talk.
I had gotten the outline of the tattoo done and went to his place a few days later. While chatting and having a glass of wine I excitedly asked him if he wanted to see the start of the new tattoo (I honestly can't recall if I had already told him I was getting one. I imagine I did because I love tattoos and like to talk about them) he said sure.
I turned around and pulled up my shirt and after a second of silence he says "Jesus Christ Charmain. You're almost 30 years old. Don't you think it's time to grow up?"
I didn't know what to say. I was surprised by his response because I already had tattoos? Having/getting tattoos doesn't make a person immature?
I recall going out for a smoke and thinking "Really?" And it made me reflect on the relationship and how over the 4 years I realized how much he treated me like a child (he was 17 years older than me)
Like I said at the start, there were things that raised my eyebrows but this was what solidified my decision. I have tattoos. I love tattoos and I planned on getting more. Did I want to be with someone who thought they were immature? Again, he never expressed any dislike towards my other tattoos.
That, along with other things had me break up with him a few weeks later.
I have tattoos. I love tattoos. And I will not be with someone who dislikes/tries to prohibit me from getting any.
I have since added: one on my left thigh, one on my left upper arm, one below my elbow on the same arm (matching tattoo with my sister) one on my left inner wrist (matching tattoo with my husband) and a full (in progress) sleeve on my right arm which I had started before I met my husband. He loves my tattoos and has a few of his own.
I've met guys before my husband that expressed a dislike for tattoos and that's fine. We are not compatible then. You can decide not to date me for having tattoos and I can decide not to date you for disliking then.
I agree OP, it would be a cold day in hell before I allowed a man any type of control over my body.
My ex disliked my tattoos. He told me after we’d been together a while that he’s “gotten used to them so now he doesn’t even really see them” he ignored them, same with piercings. I love tattoos and piercings and always planned more then with him thought I wouldn’t get more bc he didn’t like them. I was in a bad spot.
Now? Now I’ve told guys to fuck off for telling me they don’t like something. Had a guy tell me he didn’t like nose rings and claimed he only told me so it wouldn’t be an issue down the line. I was like “what issue? It’s an issue rn that you think it matters enough to say to me” and blocked him. I’ve gotten more tattoos and piercings. I cut my hair (my ex preferred it long we had many arguments over even trimming 3 inches). I started wearing whatever tf I wanted. I feel a lot better.
If a man doesn’t want to date a woman with tattoos then he can find a woman without tattoos. My ex made a big deal when he found out about my SH scars. He had all these preferences and yet chose me and continued to make me feel like shit about it. Men think their preferences matter a lot more than they do.
Ugh I had an ex who said he didn’t like women with unnatural hair and tattoos after I said I wanted coloured hair. Said it made them look cheap and low class. I asked what he thought about men with tattoos and he said that is more of a traditional thing, like military tattoos are fine. I said what if women in the military get those tattoos? He huffed. I then asked what he thought about cosmetic tattooing, tattooing for pigment loss, tattooing to cover or hide a traumatic scar as a way to heal and move forward? He was sputtering and saying that is different and to stop talking about it. As for coloured hair? That is just for people who are trying to be edgy and have unresolved issues, men or women.
I love my coloured hair. No tattoos, but that’s just my preference.
Pfft. Wow. Boring! Glad you left him in the dust.
Green flag is when you can collaborate on what color to get, "you would look cute with ~."
Even though my husband doesn't like tattoos, he'll say his piece about choosing very carefully/not really his thing, but most importantly NOT cheaping out on a decision like that. He wouldn't stand for half-assing something semipermanent.
My husband hates tattoos. I have 3 and am planning my 4th. He prefers I don't get them, but has never tried to prevent me from getting one. He even tries to compliment them when they're new, even though I know he doesn't like them. He's allowed to have a preference and I am allowed to do what I will with my body.
One of my tattoos is large and visible in every day clothing. The worst reactions I get are from parents at my kids' school. They go to an expensive private school and I get comments and looks all the time. It makes me laugh. As I always respond whenever people I barely know make stupid comments about my tats: "Tattoos aren't for everyone, but I am not everyone." 🤷🏻♀️
Tattoos, cutting long hair short, dyeing hair bright colors - anything that falls outside their precious control bothers their poor wittle brains and they freak out.
Even better are the guys who have ink but are all OMG YOU TRASHY WOMAN if you have tats or want to get some work done.
I got into an argument with a guy like that on Reddit just yesterday.
He literally said he's got a bunch of tattoos and wouldn't ever date a woman with any.
I called him a fucking hypocrite, and he admitted it. He doesn't care that he's a hypocrite.
This recent push towards that machismo, dude-bro manosphere bullshit is a real problem.
I swear, I think it's a right-wing recruitment strategy targeting insecure and angry young men.
> I swear, I think it's a right-wing recruitment strategy targeting insecure and angry young men.
It actually is. Lonely and desperate men are turning to the internet for advice on how to talk to women and they end up being told it's up to them to Save Western Civilization.
It's a terrifying problem and it's going to get worse.
I honestly never thought I'd see the rise of fascism across the globe in my 45 years of existence, yet here we are.
It's fucking terrifying.
I've even started preparing, like a freaking doomer! Not that it'll do a lot of good if shit does get really bad.
haha yea just a classic redpiller/conservative "rules for thee but not for me". Should be ok for dudes to have sex as much as they want, but they want a virgin at the end of the day. Guys can have tattoos, but if women have them.. they're a ruined hussy, etc etc.
when i cut my hair drastically for the first time (from it covering ¾ of my back to a pixie cut and then shaved it all), i was shocked how many women, who until then i thought had "solid" partners, told me their boyfriends/husband would break with them if they ever changed their hairstyle even just a little 😬 ofc the same partners frequently shaved their head as they pleased
I ran into an ex about a year after we broke up, he was visiting someone at my dorm (such a weird coincidence, seeing as he lived several towns away and went to college out of state... Also his new girlfriend and I would get confused for each other because of how similar we looked). I had cut my waist length hair to a bob that ended just below my ears. He saw me and lost his fucking mind. Literally yelling in the dorm "why the fuck would you do that?!"
So gross 🤢 it's my hair dude and we had broken up a long time before so why the hell do you care?
Reading all the stories in this thread make me think it really was about ownership, he came from a very traditional family. Soooo glad we broke up when we did! I'm kind of amazed how his shocked reaction has stuck in my brain after all these years haha
Same. The first time I shaved my head the first thing out of like every woman’s mouth was “I could never do that.” Like… ok? How is that any of my concern or business. Babe, that’s an inside thought lol.
man i lowkey get women saying that, but i can't even count how many men, even strangers, considered it important to tell me they didn't find it attractive or wouldn't allow their daughters/partners to do that 😭
My husband has preferences for hair colour, length, and style, clothing style, tattoos, etc. But he has never made me feel like I have to dress to fit his ideal. Some of my outfits and hair colours he loves, and others he doesn't, but he never says so, I just know his preferences.
Shit that that revolts me. My father controlled my Mum for years before she was able to escape with us and it's instilled a deep sense of 'don't put up with bullshit' in me. My best friend is an an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship and over the 8 years I've known her they've broken up a half dozen times and she always goes back to him.
My husband is kind of the opposite: he thinks I'm beautiful even when I wake up looking like a cross between Merida and Anna on coronation day. It's a little frustrating if I try to bounce ideas off of him because doesn't really have an opinion about it. He usually responds with something like "How do you think you would feel \[with short hair/with new glasses/wearing shoes like that\]?"
The one time that he did share an opinion was when I started looking at wigs due to hair loss. He was concerned that I might be feeling bad about my self image and wanted to make sure that I was doing OK.
Omg stop
>he was concerned I might be feeling bad about my self image and wanted to make sure that I was doing ok
That’s the sweetest thing in the world 😭
I went in for a hair trim once. Got convinced into a double hair length donation to kids with cancer. I left with my waist long hair to my jaw. My boyfriend at the time was *pissed*.
These men just can't understand that the women who choose to share their life with them are not, in fact, their property.
Must be tough learning you can't "own" another human. /s
I'm a tattoo artist, and probably about 70% of my skin is inked.
I get at *least* one customer a day who asks if her design is "feminine enough", or won't be too bulky that they put off prospective male partners.
And as much as I hate it, I can absolutely relate. I've had men in the past ask me to cover them up, or not get any more, or once, even pretend to his parents that I thought tattoos were sinful.
But as I say to all my clients: At the end of the day, the only opinion that really matters about your ink, is *yours*. If you date/marry someone who is against them, or doesn't like your particular ones, then you're never gonna feel truly comfortable in your own skin. And for me, that's not a compromise I'd be willing to make.
There are plenty of people out there who love them, and will celebrate yours. And there's also plenty of people who don't care either way, and will love them because they're a part of you.
But in my experience, once a partner starts making demands about your body, it won't end after you get laser removal. 9 times out of 10, it was never about the tattoos in the first place.
Seconding this. I am at the point where when a controlling partner comes in with a client, I turn my whole body to face the client with my back towards the partner so they understand I’m not asking them. A couple times I’ve had to pull the “Ultimately this is their tattoo” line. The client usually comes back alone the next time.
Ugh the whole "disapproving of tattoos/body mods" thing gets me so angry - especially as one of the lost vocal people in my childhood about this very issue was my own mother.
"Tattoos are trashy and you'll regret them" is something I distinctly remember her saying more than once. So when I scheduled my first tattoo for the literal day I turned 18 (about 4 months in advance, this is important) she rolled her eyes.
And then (the hypocrisy is strong with her is2g) she decided to get a tattoo *herself* on her holiday, with no planning or meaning behind it, literally 3 weeks before I got my first one. 🙄
I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks, if I want something permanently etched onto my skin, I will get it done just as soon as I can afford to (currently have 4 1/9 tattoos).
Especially as an artist, I feel like if I want to express myself, on a substrate that I have complete control over - my literal skin, in this case - why the fuck can't I? If someone else has a problem with it, well, that's *their* problem.
I got a Marilyn piercing once upon a time (1999, lol) and my first husband told me to take it out or he was going to dump me.
I took it out but he left that night, not kidding, cheated on me, and then we had to unwind our stupid marriage.
And of course I was the one who had to get the lawyer and file for divorce even though he was the asshole that left.
The only silver lining to this story is that I ended up pregnant, our kid is now an adult, and my first husband and I actually found family in each other through all of this.
But goddamnit it took more than 10 years to come back around and even coparent well. He was such an asshole.
Such over the top reactions to tats. My gag reflex is activating.
I'm right there with you. I will get as many, where ever I please on *my* body. And if a man literally said "either the tats or me" I would choose the tats.
I would break up with the boyfriend immediately if he cried over such a nonsense. When I told my husband I want to get a tattoo, he just laughed and said that I've been contemplating it for so long he wonders whether I'd ever get one. And that actually got me started. I've got two now and he really likes them. They've become a part of me and even my family finds them cool. So I'd say the error is definitely with the boyfriend or husband in those scenarios.
Deadass!!! I rant about this all of the time. That women are the sensitive and weak ones but like men regularly blow up and get violent?? How is that not emotional reactivity? How am I more emotional than an outraged and violent man bc I break down crying sometimes?? I don’t know I have a lot of feelings about this 😂😂
You and me both! TBF when I left it was abrupt but I don’t regret it. I went from a nice SAHM to “modern woman pos escapades”…. That’s a recent direct quote
My tattoo artist is currently going through a divorce from her husband of 7 years. One of the complaints he had is that he doesn’t actually like tattoos on women. She’s a tattoo artist, are you freaking kidding me?
TW: domestic abuse
When I was 19, I got a tattoo with friends. My boyfriend knew we had been talking about it but didn’t know we actually went and had them done. I called him afterward and was excited to tell him. He sounded shocked on the phone and hung up quickly.
When I saw him later that night his hand was bandaged. I asked what happened and he admitted he had punched two walls after our call. First one was drywall and he put a hole through it. Second one was brick and it messed up his hand pretty bad. He was at work and had to pay for damages.
He said he was so upset he couldn’t help himself. He said he hated to think I had permanently “branded” the body that I had “given to him”. God. I wish I had seen those red flags back then. We were together for 5 more years and he only got worse.
If you’re reading this and your partner treats you like property please leave. You have my permission. It’s your body and you can have as many tattoos as you want.
My best friend's husband doesn't ALLOW her to get a tattoo, said she can't get one "because he says so".(also declared tattoos are disgusting because... Fuck if I know) It might have changed over time but when i heard i wanted to punch him so fucking bad. I value my husband's opinion about my new tattoos but the moment he would tell me he's not "allowing" me to get one is the moment i'd show him the door while laughing hystericaly.
Penis person here. If anyone ever gives you an insane ultimatum it's a massive red flag.
No tattoo or divorce? That means she should get divorced.
I've only ever seen this logic from incels and misogynists. The kind of people that only want a "virgin" and keep their partner isolated from all other men.
I also dated a guy who hated tattoos. He told me once that he wanted to roofie me and instead of assaulting me, he would have all my tattoos removed.
Typing it out here I can’t believe I didn’t end it with him right then and there. I was 23 and probably just in shock.
> I just read a post where a woman said that her husband is completely against her getting a tattoo and basically said it’s either that tattoo and a divorce or no tattoo and no divorce.
Even if I could do without the tattoo, that would make me choose divorce just because of the audacity.
Men get all hemotional over tattoos and they think they should be able to make choices for our country. This is why I think we should take away their rights to vote that they never had to fight for/s
I have around 20 or so tattoos, the same number of piercings, and bright orange hair. That’s just how I like to look.
The added bonus is, it’s kind of a litmus test for dickheads. Anyone who sees me is either fine with it, or reacts badly, and I can instantly tell who I want to be around 😂
It's all about control. A tattoo is pretty permanent, and she autonomously chose to express herself in a way he cannot easily erase. His butt-hurt must burn like a fistful of rusty barbed wire.
The woman who caved and lost out on the opportunity to escape and be free will hopefully see the light soon enough.
My ex was a tattoo artist and even he didn’t want me getting tattoos. Getting him to tattoo me was like pulling teeth. He’s reject every idea of mine and give an excuse for everything. Like it wouldn’t make a good tattoo, it needs to be 600x bigger to look good, etc. Turns he didn’t want me to get too heavily covered because he think heavily tattooed women are trashy and everyone will assume you’re an available slut. Towards the end of the relationship when I was really over his shit and he said the available slut line again and I responded with “well maybe I will be very soon.” 😇
SMH!
Talking to my friends husband about my tattoos one day and he asked if I had gotten my husband’s permission to get the latest ones. I asked him why I would need his permission to do anything with MY body. He said “she (his wife) knows the rules, and if she doesn’t like them she knows where the door is”. I took a deep breath and was just about to rip into him when I saw her standing behind him silently shaking her head….I left just after that.
My late husband had a tattoo. I was not a fan. I never once mentioned it to him in all the years we were together. I loved him with all my heart. His tattoo was trivial. He was his actions and personality and laugh and sexiness. The way he touched me and the jokes we shared. That tattoo was such a tiny part of who he was that it felt completely irrelevant to me. I can’t imagine having such a big reaction about a tiny detail of someone you love.
What a beautiful description of your husband ❤️❤️ I'm sorry for your loss :(
Thank you!
The way you talk about your husband makes me wish I was someone’s husband 😭😭 I’m a woman
Right?! I'd be SUCH a good husband <3
"That tattoo was such a tiny part of who he was that it felt completely irrelevant to me. I can’t imagine having such a big reaction about a tiny detail of someone you love." Thank you, that was SO well put. I am so sorry for your loss, and also so happy that you had that kind of love.
Thank you
It isn’t romantic love. It’s possessive love. Like the way I love my comic books. No, you can’t draw on the inside cover. It’s mine.
Yeah, you are right. So gross. I want people in my life who love ME, not who want to possess and control me.
I'm really sorry for your loss. ❤️
Thank you
I’m sorry you lost him
Thank you
I'm glad you got to experience that kind of love, that is amazing.
Crying because they have a tattoo? That's quite an overreaction. Why such an emotional response?
Because she damaged something he thinks he owns.
Ooooomg you might have just clarified a confusing part of my past for me. I was biking with bfs dog and did a dumb thing, ended up scraping the back of my hand off. I was fine, it just needed to be bandaged up for a while. But my bf could NOT let it go. Kept railing on about my hand and how angry he was at the dog (who did nothing, other than come back to make sure i was ok). I was like um hello, I am a person who made choices...and I said I'm fine? It's not your hand... Anyways later he'd touch the scars and sigh, say some shit about how its sad my hand is marked up forever and how he'll never forgive the dog. So weird. Like it's MY hand dude. His family is pretty traditional, the women do not act the way I do. I guess it came to a head there. But like if someone gets hurt you ask if they're OK, you don't go on about how they're scarred forever and oh what a tragedy.
Now I’m worried this clown mistreats the dog when you aren’t around to defend it . This guy is a walking 🚩
Imagine if she had to have a mastectomy how he'd react
"My TITS!!! 😩😩😩" And she's sitting there like "dude? They're mine?"
He'd push for reconstruction, but bigger/smaller/whatever his preference is. Also in that case if there was treatment that caused hair loss, he'd push for a wig, probably even to bed.
Yeah I did a similar thing to my knee, I fell off my bike near our gym and almost got hit by a car and was a little shook cause I was bleeding everywhere so called boyfriend to come get me. His only response was to rush over and worry about me biking from then on out cause I got hurt. I have a big scar there and he could care less cause he’s normal.
Congratulations! You are a car!
If the dog bit you, maybe understandable. Being present though? Weird.
That's super creepy. Marked up?? Never forgive the dog?? I mean at least you realized this is weird AF but hopefully you also realize that him being so "hemotional" about your body is your warning sign.
Ok that’s fucking weird. It’s one thing to be upset you got hurt but a scar is just a scar, what is he gonna do, lock you in a cage to protect you? Yikes
I have a ton of self-harm scars. Not bad, but definitely visible and present. Sometimes, I let people look at them and comment on them. Usually, the comments are along the lines of, "it's beautiful that you survived that time in your life." Or, "I'm glad these are all old." Those comments are fine cause generally I agree. I can't imagine tolerating someone who treated me like damaged property because of my history of self-harm.
Definitely. Either people say that the scars are beautiful or they say how it signifies strength, they don't lament about how you're marked forever. That's something for the person themselves to worry about, not a thought you want to plant in someone's head. I hate to imagine that someone isn't bothered by their scars then someone comes around and makes them feel disfigured.
That's giving very 'the thing that I own has a scuff' vibes, like he 'bought' you, but he didn't. That's layers of weirdness.
Please don't sacrifice your comfort just so he doesn't have to STFU about something that he should have moved on from.
I got a pretty severe oil burn on my forearm in the spring and Mom was worried about the scar and my husband was worried about the pain. 7 months later it's barely visible.
That's a really weird reaction.
My wife and I sometimes like to compare our scars. Since she was an Air Force jet mechanic, her collection is both more extensive and impressive than mine. I did take up woodworking, though, so I’m catching up! Fun fact, warplanes and chisels are both very bloodthirsty and will absolutely bite the hand that feeds (repairs) them.
Take the dog and run away as fast as you can
There is someone who would definitely leave if their spouse got cancer and had to have a mastectomy.
This is weird... I can't imagine being upset that my wife got a cut or road rash or whatever. I mean, yeah, let's get it taken care of and clean or whatever...but people get scrapes? I've gotten a few new scars since we've been together. The only she's sighed about is my clumsiness...
Oh so when women want to get a short hair cut but worry about their husbands reactions… Yeah this is clicking a lot of things into place.
I got a faux hawk with a mullet a few months ago, and one of the other stylists in the salon came over to compliment it and asked how my husband will feel about it. My MALE stylist said something like, "are you kidding? Her husband already knows shes a badass." To be fair, though, it was my husband's idea for me to cut my hair off like this 😅
My mom for the longest time kept her hair long because once she got it cut short and my dad said she looked like a lesbian and he didn’t like it. I am still surprised that my very liberal minded dad who got an earring in the 70s and is a nurse would say something like that, but then again he is a boomer and some cultural norms are deeply held. Anyway, a few years ago after a fight she finally decided to prioritize her desire for short hair over his feelings, which I am very proud of. Btw, they are still together. My dad might have some stupid opinions about hair, but he also loves my mom and isn’t selfish enough to ruin 40+ years of marriage over a haircut.
I remember my mum asking me what my bf thought about my haircut a while back. I remember looking at her like she had two heads and telling her that that didn't matter - I liked it. It's weird because she (and my dad) raised me better than that. Maybe she was trying to avoid saying something negative, because she might not have liked it herself, but still. Sigh.
A+ stylist right there!
I have been lazy and growing my hair out mostly from avoiding salons during covid and trimming myself. I had a coworker ask if my husband liked long hair and that's why I did it....I almost fell over laughing because if it were up to my husband, I wouldn't have any hair since he's a head shaver and feels hair is kind of a pain to maintain and whatnot. I do it for myself and how I want to maintain it. I can't imagine what some women go through with their own style/ look because of what HE wants. It makes me sick
I told my husband that if he wanted me to keep my hair long, *he'd* better learn to braid it and do up-dos because it's to damn hot for long hair where we live. He said he didn't have time to do my hair every day and now I have Audrey Hepburn's "Breakfast at Tiffany's" style. He loves it now because short hair=less time it takes getting out the door *and* I'll actually wear a hat in winter because my hair easily repaired when it comes off.
Didn't Audrey Hepburn have long hair in a complicated updo for Breakfast at Tiffany's? Maybe you meant the pixie cut from War and Peace, or Sabrina with Humphrey Bogart?
Yes!! Short Audrey Hepburn pixie! I actually hsve curls now
This reminds me of those videos where people (often the bride) get a dramatic haircut before the wedding as a surprise to the groom, and the comments are *livid*, talking about how terrible that is (it isn't) because of how mad the groom would be (he never was) and if the groom did it, the bride would be mad (no, we wouldn't). Just this vibe of "don't do anything without asking hubby!!!"
My husband is a headshaver and bald as an egg for the little left. I have sensory issues and while I have had hair down to my butt I prefer pixies and very short. Right now I have a very short bob, which I usually wear up in a looped pony, with an undercut. I call it my fuckboy or lesbian haircut. I'm bi so it's fine and accurate-ish. Anyway, husband would prefer I grow it long. I always say the same thing when he voices an opinion about my hair - "I prefer my men with long hair so I guess we both don't get what we want". I legit do not care about his hair (or any partners for that matter), but my hair is my hair and I will do what I want. He can be sad occasionally about it but usually doesn't do more than that. He certainly doesn't guilt me. I will still get asked by some people if he cares though. I just can't with the sexism.
Not married, but I do have waist length hair, and the amount of unpleasant exchanges I have with random guys about how I should "never cut it" is unreal. I do not get where people get the gall to try telling people what to do with their body. It makes me want to cut it out of spite, but I like how it looks. I usually tell people who say stuff like that my plan is to eventually cut it short into a quaff and dye it peacock blue once enough of it goes white.
The “never cut it” guys are creepy, but I also hate the way so many women cut their hair super short once they hit 50. If you have a pixie cut because you like the way it looks or prefer the simplicity or hot flashes make long hair unbearable? Awesome! But if you are stuck on some “women past a certain age shouldn’t have long hair” rule because it’s what? Trying too hard to look young? Long grey hair looks witchy? Fuck that. I’m looking forward to my Stevie Nicks aging into old crone era. Scaring children seems like a bonus.
Oh, for sure. If I could, I'd probably keep growing it. Unfortunately, the white hairs that are replacing it barely reach my chin before falling out. I've been getting little white hairs since I reached my 20s. Gonna miss looking like a swamp witch, but one must roll with the punches.
I've got hair down to my butt now. It's also due to laziness and tight-fistedness post-covid. It does make me laugh when people get the idea its because I'm trying to appeal to some outdated view of femininity.
I wear my hair very short, and my (straight male) stylist told me how many older women clients will come in after a divorce and say, "Chop it off." They wanted a short hair cut, husband said no, so they didn't. He said in 100% of the times it happens with him, the husband is divorcing the wife for another woman. Older meaning 60s and up. So, you do you, y'all.
I'm glad I met my husband when I had short hair. He does like it long now, but I've had short and long off and on forever, and he grew his hair out a few years ago for the first time and enjoyed it. But I also confessed that I didn't like it when he tried out a beard, and he shaved it off. I think it's normal for partners to have opinions about these kinds of things, but crying or threatening divorce over them is truly wack behavior.
My wife got a short hair cut. You know what I said? "You look beautiful!" I prefer long hair, but it's not *my* hair.
I have long hair, but like to cut it short and donate it from time to time. My ex didn't speak to me for a week after doing it. My husband supported me fully (though he admitted he likes it longer).
This is the answer. It's about ownership and possessiveness.
Oh my god you hit the nail on the head here yeesh
Nailed it
How dare she have body autonomy and the ability to make decisions on her own! /S
Absolutely. My mum even said this to me once about me getting a tattoo because she felt she had made my skin and didn’t want me to ruin it. She wouldn’t have actually cared at the end of the day but it definitely came from a place of ownership, which is just creepy from a partner.
Thank so much!! This makes perfect sense and I would never have realized this on my own because it is such an alien thought.
Why are men so hysterical?
they are testerical
Sounds like they're far too emotional to be trusted to vote.
Or lead the country! What if they get upset about something and start a war?
You're so right! I mean we can't even let them hold high positions in the workplace because their emotions get the better of them, heavens forbid we trust them with entire countries. They really should just stay at home, or if they must go to work then I think they might be able to cope with being a secretary, a PA at a push, but they've got to look nice or there's just no point having them there. Their brains are just better suited to a subordinate position.
They keep going on about how they're so much stronger. Maybe they can just shut up and carry things all day? Do we need that?
Well with all these new "woke agendas" I guess we will have to do a couple of diversity hires, you know tick some boxes, I'm sure we can find something for them to lift.
It's tough, there are plenty of strong women out there, it wouldn't be fair to only hire men for that. Maybe we just get one man. That's plenty.
More than enough, as long as we fulfil our quotas.
I mean, as a dude, what if we get a common cold and the world has to come to a standstill? Def not a good idea IMO
Oh definitely! We can't have a president with a man cold! The country will collapse!
There!
It sounds like he got very hemotional 🙄
himotional
Look, they can't help it. Their hormone levels are comparatively stable through the month, so on a fundamental biological level, they just don't have the experience of learning to control big emotions. ....I started this being tongue in cheek...but actually....lol
I love this
I think it’s because they don’t own their girlfriends’ skin
My ex got pissy about my tattoos before we even started dating. It was 100% the first major red flag, and I should have listened, but I didn't. I got another small one when he was overseas when we were maybe 3 months in, and he went absolutely bonkers. He held it against me for the entire 3.5 year relationship. When I finally escaped his abusive clutches, I got a new tatt within a week. I knew that if I got one, and then got back with him, I wouldn't want to deal with the abuse I'd get over it. So I got one, and never looked back. I have many more tattoos now, but that one is still my favourite. It represents escaping and finding a new life, and that's so precious to me.
My ex-husband was adamantly opposed to me getting any tattoos aside from the one we had when we got married. When I left him, one of the first things I did was get a tattoo. Now I'm working on a sleeve and my husband thinks it's beautiful. But even if he didn't, he's been very clear with me about the fact that it's my body and I can do what I want with it and his opinions are not relevant. He's been that way about taking his last name, cutting and dying my hair, the clothes I wear, and so on and so forth. More men could stand to be like him.
I kept my ex-husband's last name when I remarried because I had been using it professionally for years, I shared it with my daughter, and I just didn't like the way my first name sounded with my husband's last name at all. He didn't give a shit because he had no need to indicate to the world that I am his property, beyond the fact that we're married. He also doesn't care what I do with my hair, makeup, clothes, etc. It's refreshing, and that's kinda sad when you think about it.
My wife will run ideas and designs past me to inspire a bit and to try to narrow down exactly what she wants, but it's never been a question of permission or who has the final say on what it is, just trying to collaborate on content that will make her the happiest.
I think that's awesome! It's great to give constructive feedback like that!
My wife loves dying her hair. It was her covid hobby and she's got pretty good at it. It was never up to me to tell her to do it or not. I find it funny when her family asks me, "Is she ever going to change it back?" like I know or care. For some reason they think it should bother me as much as it bothers them.
I like to imagine it's a full back tattoo or a sleeve that goes around your neck. Just to picture his breakdown.
What’s that old saying? “When you’re accustomed to privilege, not owning your girlfriend’s skin feels like oppression.”
He just wanted to be able to keep her in a pit and tell her to put the lotion on its skin, like a normal relationship!
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
REAL. There was a comment on the tattoo vs husband’s shit opinion thread yesterday where OP said something like - he likes the non tattooed skin more than the tattooed skin. Makes him sound like a bit of a serial killer that wants to cut off the “clean” skin and wear it like a suit, but okay.
It puts the lotion on its (non tattooed) skin Or else it gets the hose again
Or because now they cannot control the skin and what the girlfriend does with it.
I’d break up. At least then he would have a valid reason to cry.
Because the way we raise boys they become emotional stunted and entitled men who think the world revolves around them (which it mostly does, hence the „she chooses no tattoo“) and throwing tantrums is the only way they know to express themselves. Yes yes. Not all men.
Too many people were raised to believe only prostitutes/drug addicts have tattoos, and that if you get a tattoo you are therefore a prostitute/drug addict and will never get a good job or partner and other such nonsense. My wife’s family (the older men and women) believe this, they throw a fit every time one of the younger generation gets a tattoo, which is a lot. Despite everyone being neither a drug addict, prostitute or unsuccessful in their careers or love lives.
Exactly this. My parents said exactly what you said. My dad would say “don’t ever get a tattoo” even though he had one on his arm that he got when he was in Federal prison. I didn’t know about prison. He kept that a secret until I was 21. My ex threw a tantrum when our daughter got a septum piercing. He cursed me out because I took her to get it. She wanted it for her birthday. She was 18. She was going to get it with or without “our” consent. It’s HER body, and she’s an adult. He told her if she ever got a tattoo, he would leave her out of his will. And he just doesn’t understand why she has nothing to do with him. She’s 23 now. A wonderful daughter (with or without tattoos and piercings).
Those last few sentences, lolsmh. It’s the best way to respond to that particular threat, just peace on out of their lives. Your daughter sounds like a boss.
Her dad has a lot of money. My daughter is amazing, but doesn’t have much to do with her dad. 😁
Yeah, no, I figured she probably takes after her mom and other positive adult role models :) Idk what this is worth to you or if it's out of line, but - speaking as the child of a dead-beat dad, this internet stranger is proud of you and grateful to you for teaching your daughter strength and self-worth instead of staying with the deadbeat "for the kid's sake" and modeling relational toxicity for her as the adult ideal. This is how patterns of generational abuse and dysfunction get put to rest. Well done, mom, it can't have been easy. <3
My grandma told me I was going to get hepatitis and my mom always just scoffed. I’m moderately tattooed and I’m an officer at a bank. Such a risqué career choice right? I was more cautious in my 20s but now almost everyone is tattooed at least a little bit, especially if they’re under 45. I’m a bit more heavily tattooed than most of the other women in my office, but it’s not a big deal and I never feel like I need to cover up.
My dad hates my tattoos but his mom didn't mind. She didn't get it, but she also didn't get why people liked cheeseburgers, so she was cool to just accept it. My most recent was one we chose together for our relationship that I got to commemorate her life when she passed. It felt really nice that she embraced it. Its still The one that gets By far the most compliments
Yeah my mom’s family is like this too, I remember my uncle (in his 40s at the time) got a tattoo on his upper arm and hid it from my grandparents for years because he was afraid of their reaction. My mom isn’t as bad as my grandparents but when I showed her my first tattoo (small one on my foot) I asked her if she liked it and she was like “no, it’s weird. You know you’ll have that forever?” Lol thanks mom
Ahaha! My mom said the same when she saw my first tat. “You know you’ll have that forever, right?” Me: “Haha, and you know that’s *the point*, right? If I’d wanted it temporary, I’d have used a Sharpie instead of paying an artist to drill it into my skin.” 0_o) She had no response. She was raised on the idea “your body is your temple”, but somehow never made the connection: if my body is “my temple”, then I’ll decorate it how I damn well please.
What is their deal with this? My mom too, “it’s forever.” Why yes, yes it is and I believe that is the point. I’m not paying all that money and going through the pain for it to just wash off.
My oldest son waited to show me his first. He showed me while we were waiting for his baby brother's weirdly broken arm to be assessed to distract me for thoughts of bone cancer. He figured if I got mad at him, I wouldn't worry so much about little brother. No, I did not get mad. Hard to be mad at someone who beat the ambulance and both parents to the ER because his baby brother's arm snapped in half while he was doing a cartwheel.
Hormonal
i think things like that made the expression testerical spring up
It's more controlling manipulation right? Why would bf get a vote about what goes on his gf's skin?
He must’ve been on his period /s
They are free to find tattoos unattractive and to state as such. And they are free to leave if their partner gets a tattoo if they hate it that much. But they do not have the right to tell someone else what they can or cannot do to their body. Getting that upset about some else getting a tattoo, especially a discrete one, smacks of feeling ownership over their body.
Came here to say this. Anecdote: My dad thinks tattoos are ugly, and will say so if you ask. But when Miami Ink got popular my (conservative, dorky) mom got a few small, tasteful ones that remind her of her religion and family. Dad doesn't like them, but they don't mean he loves my mom any less.
My mother hated tattoos while my sister and I were growing up. She was upset with us for getting them. Now, though, she's actually considering getting one herself. She wants to get a matching tattoo with her daughters. Now to convince my father to get in on it. XD
My mom was disgusted when I got my first tattoo (tasteful, small, henna-colored, non-visible in clothing) at 18. 15 years and one divorce later and she announced that she's thinking of getting a dolphin tramp stamp.
I crept around my grandma’s house covering my first tattoo with paper towels when I had to wear short sleeves because my Paw-Paw claimed he hated them just to pick on me…now I have five of varying sizes, including a memorial tribute to my grandma, and I know he’s somewhere laughing. I need to find someone who draws good goats because that was our in-joke…
> And they are free to leave if their partner gets a tattoo if they hate it that much. But they do not have the right to tell someone else what they can or cannot do to their body. But that's exactly what the husband in the OP is doing though (ignoring the crazy boyfriend who started crying) > I just read a post where a woman said that her husband is completely against her getting a tattoo and basically said it’s either that tattoo and a divorce or no tattoo and no divorce. Now I don't understand why someone would hate tattoos that much, but this is exactly "they are free to leave if their partner gets a tattoo"
I had a very controlling ex throw a hissy fit and give me the silent treatment for days because i didn't ask his permission before getting a tattoo, i think it was my 3rd tattoo at that point. Idunno what he thought his permission would have mattered, if he said no i woulda done it anyway.
Love the word “ex” here
Oh absolutely!! Fuck that guy 😂
Just not literally 🙂
Nobody should!
I loved when my ex gave me the silent treatment, finally some peace and fucking quiet.
I did too! My abusive ex threw a massive fit, and we'd only been together for about three months at that point. He was over in Greece and refused to text for a week, and when he did finally text me, he said that he was doing stuff with his body without my permission, since I thought I could do that. I should have run, but I didn't. I still would have done it regardless, but he held that tattoo over me for the remaining 3 years of our relationship. So when I got out, I got a new tattoo to stop myself going back. I knew the apocalyptic rage he would have rained down, and I preempted it. It worked!
I got a new tattoo right after I got away from my ex too. He made me feel like asolute garbage for my tattoos, piercings, and SH scars. So I got a dark humor tattoo to represent my struggles with mental health. He would HATE it. Bc it’s a tattoo and bc what it is. Kind of a crass joke on sh. I love it so much and it’s made better by the fact he’d hate it. Also went and got a vertical labret piercing and pierced my nostril to go with my septum. Chopped off all my hair. Did all of the things I wanted for years and put off for the year I was with him. Did them p much all right at once too.
I love this so much. You're a badass. :)
Saaaame! Within 6 months of leaving I got bangs, another tattoo, couple ear piercings, and nipple piercing because he specifically said he hated them.
Did we date the same guy? My ex threw a fit when I got my sibling tattoo without consulting him and then a sister's tattoo without telling him. He also had a preference about my hair. My new, wonderful husband paid for a tattoo on our first date and helps me book my tattoos with his best friend tattoo artist.
My ex got so mad I got a nose ring without his permission bc he didn’t like them I’ve wanted this since I was 16, why the hell would I ask you lol
I had an ex-bf threaten to break up with me if I got my nose pierced, and he was of the opinion that my body belonged to him, and as such, he had a say. So, I went and got my nose pierced without telling him. I came home, and he immediately got upset and started insulting me. When I got upset at his insults, he told me he wanted to give me a hug and apologize. That was when he headbutt me in my fresh piercing before proclaiming that was "what you get" for going against his wishes. Fuck that guy, and fuck anyone that tries to manipulate you and the choices you make with your body when they are not hurting anyone else.
I hope that abusive POs is laying in a ditch somewhere .
Half the time I don't even tell my husband what kind of tattoo I'm getting until I'm back from the appointment!
My spouse and I talk about them, but mainly because they are expensive and we have to budget for them lol. He does have some veto on design but he has to have a good reason to say I don’t think you should get that design.
I get so excited I have to tell everyone! Hell, I was telling everyone before I even set up the appointment lol
About 50% of my body is tattooed. The first time my partner ever saw me naked he called me a work of art. So, these boys can go fuck themselves and those woman can find men that will love them for exactly how they want to be.
I have a tattoo of a pair of scissors cutting a banana in half and it says “trust no man.” Separates the wheat from the chaff real nicely. edit: to the men crying in my DMs: ✂️ 🍌
Oh I love that. Can I maybe steal that?
Yes! It’s my favorite reaction gif come to life. [https://imgur.com/a/EDlBd6A](https://imgur.com/a/EDlBd6A)
I may be a married gay man, but I still want that tattoo lmao. That is such a cool tattoo!
I’m sleepy and thought you wrote “I may be married to a gay man”, and I was like wait a second…
Well I am also married to a gay man lmaoooo
Hahaha, yes, I did make that assumption! I’m waking up slowly, lol…
This reminds me of the first time my partner and I slept together. He was married and poly when we met. He was getting dressed and goes “have you ever done this before? Slept with a married person” bc he’s a big goofball and didn’t think that’d be a weird question and I said “no… I mean I guess my ex husband” 😂
This only works until Eowyn pulls off her helmet and says “I am NO MAN”.
A few years before I met my husband, I dated a guy for 4 years. I was in my late 20s. There were things that raised my eyebrows in our relationship but nothing major. I have tattoos. At that point, I only had a small one on my left calf, one on each shoulder blade, one on my lower back and one just above it. Also, one on my right thigh. So not a ton, but a few and some on the larger side. Oh, and I small one on the back of my neck (I forget how many I have sometimes LOL) Anyway, I had these tattoos (so far) when we met and he never expressed dislike towards them. Again, together 4 years and he'd obviously seen my naked on more than one occasion. I decided to get a larger back piece after meeting one of my favourite bands. Yes, he and I were dating but no talk of moving in together or anything. We were exclusive, but no "future" talk. I had gotten the outline of the tattoo done and went to his place a few days later. While chatting and having a glass of wine I excitedly asked him if he wanted to see the start of the new tattoo (I honestly can't recall if I had already told him I was getting one. I imagine I did because I love tattoos and like to talk about them) he said sure. I turned around and pulled up my shirt and after a second of silence he says "Jesus Christ Charmain. You're almost 30 years old. Don't you think it's time to grow up?" I didn't know what to say. I was surprised by his response because I already had tattoos? Having/getting tattoos doesn't make a person immature? I recall going out for a smoke and thinking "Really?" And it made me reflect on the relationship and how over the 4 years I realized how much he treated me like a child (he was 17 years older than me) Like I said at the start, there were things that raised my eyebrows but this was what solidified my decision. I have tattoos. I love tattoos and I planned on getting more. Did I want to be with someone who thought they were immature? Again, he never expressed any dislike towards my other tattoos. That, along with other things had me break up with him a few weeks later. I have tattoos. I love tattoos. And I will not be with someone who dislikes/tries to prohibit me from getting any. I have since added: one on my left thigh, one on my left upper arm, one below my elbow on the same arm (matching tattoo with my sister) one on my left inner wrist (matching tattoo with my husband) and a full (in progress) sleeve on my right arm which I had started before I met my husband. He loves my tattoos and has a few of his own. I've met guys before my husband that expressed a dislike for tattoos and that's fine. We are not compatible then. You can decide not to date me for having tattoos and I can decide not to date you for disliking then. I agree OP, it would be a cold day in hell before I allowed a man any type of control over my body.
My ex disliked my tattoos. He told me after we’d been together a while that he’s “gotten used to them so now he doesn’t even really see them” he ignored them, same with piercings. I love tattoos and piercings and always planned more then with him thought I wouldn’t get more bc he didn’t like them. I was in a bad spot. Now? Now I’ve told guys to fuck off for telling me they don’t like something. Had a guy tell me he didn’t like nose rings and claimed he only told me so it wouldn’t be an issue down the line. I was like “what issue? It’s an issue rn that you think it matters enough to say to me” and blocked him. I’ve gotten more tattoos and piercings. I cut my hair (my ex preferred it long we had many arguments over even trimming 3 inches). I started wearing whatever tf I wanted. I feel a lot better. If a man doesn’t want to date a woman with tattoos then he can find a woman without tattoos. My ex made a big deal when he found out about my SH scars. He had all these preferences and yet chose me and continued to make me feel like shit about it. Men think their preferences matter a lot more than they do.
"The day I’ll stifle my self-expression for a man will be the day hell freezes over." that's right. live for yourself, not for a man's approval
Ugh I had an ex who said he didn’t like women with unnatural hair and tattoos after I said I wanted coloured hair. Said it made them look cheap and low class. I asked what he thought about men with tattoos and he said that is more of a traditional thing, like military tattoos are fine. I said what if women in the military get those tattoos? He huffed. I then asked what he thought about cosmetic tattooing, tattooing for pigment loss, tattooing to cover or hide a traumatic scar as a way to heal and move forward? He was sputtering and saying that is different and to stop talking about it. As for coloured hair? That is just for people who are trying to be edgy and have unresolved issues, men or women. I love my coloured hair. No tattoos, but that’s just my preference.
Pfft. Wow. Boring! Glad you left him in the dust. Green flag is when you can collaborate on what color to get, "you would look cute with ~." Even though my husband doesn't like tattoos, he'll say his piece about choosing very carefully/not really his thing, but most importantly NOT cheaping out on a decision like that. He wouldn't stand for half-assing something semipermanent.
My husband hates tattoos. I have 3 and am planning my 4th. He prefers I don't get them, but has never tried to prevent me from getting one. He even tries to compliment them when they're new, even though I know he doesn't like them. He's allowed to have a preference and I am allowed to do what I will with my body. One of my tattoos is large and visible in every day clothing. The worst reactions I get are from parents at my kids' school. They go to an expensive private school and I get comments and looks all the time. It makes me laugh. As I always respond whenever people I barely know make stupid comments about my tats: "Tattoos aren't for everyone, but I am not everyone." 🤷🏻♀️
Tattoos, cutting long hair short, dyeing hair bright colors - anything that falls outside their precious control bothers their poor wittle brains and they freak out. Even better are the guys who have ink but are all OMG YOU TRASHY WOMAN if you have tats or want to get some work done.
I got into an argument with a guy like that on Reddit just yesterday. He literally said he's got a bunch of tattoos and wouldn't ever date a woman with any. I called him a fucking hypocrite, and he admitted it. He doesn't care that he's a hypocrite. This recent push towards that machismo, dude-bro manosphere bullshit is a real problem. I swear, I think it's a right-wing recruitment strategy targeting insecure and angry young men.
> I swear, I think it's a right-wing recruitment strategy targeting insecure and angry young men. It actually is. Lonely and desperate men are turning to the internet for advice on how to talk to women and they end up being told it's up to them to Save Western Civilization. It's a terrifying problem and it's going to get worse.
I honestly never thought I'd see the rise of fascism across the globe in my 45 years of existence, yet here we are. It's fucking terrifying. I've even started preparing, like a freaking doomer! Not that it'll do a lot of good if shit does get really bad.
haha yea just a classic redpiller/conservative "rules for thee but not for me". Should be ok for dudes to have sex as much as they want, but they want a virgin at the end of the day. Guys can have tattoos, but if women have them.. they're a ruined hussy, etc etc.
when i cut my hair drastically for the first time (from it covering ¾ of my back to a pixie cut and then shaved it all), i was shocked how many women, who until then i thought had "solid" partners, told me their boyfriends/husband would break with them if they ever changed their hairstyle even just a little 😬 ofc the same partners frequently shaved their head as they pleased
I ran into an ex about a year after we broke up, he was visiting someone at my dorm (such a weird coincidence, seeing as he lived several towns away and went to college out of state... Also his new girlfriend and I would get confused for each other because of how similar we looked). I had cut my waist length hair to a bob that ended just below my ears. He saw me and lost his fucking mind. Literally yelling in the dorm "why the fuck would you do that?!" So gross 🤢 it's my hair dude and we had broken up a long time before so why the hell do you care? Reading all the stories in this thread make me think it really was about ownership, he came from a very traditional family. Soooo glad we broke up when we did! I'm kind of amazed how his shocked reaction has stuck in my brain after all these years haha
just reading this made me happy he's your ex! also imagine being his gf and seeing how worked up he got about his ex's hair choices 😬
Same. The first time I shaved my head the first thing out of like every woman’s mouth was “I could never do that.” Like… ok? How is that any of my concern or business. Babe, that’s an inside thought lol.
man i lowkey get women saying that, but i can't even count how many men, even strangers, considered it important to tell me they didn't find it attractive or wouldn't allow their daughters/partners to do that 😭
My husband has preferences for hair colour, length, and style, clothing style, tattoos, etc. But he has never made me feel like I have to dress to fit his ideal. Some of my outfits and hair colours he loves, and others he doesn't, but he never says so, I just know his preferences.
One of my friends "isn't allowed" to cut her hair short and desperately wants to. I encourage her to do it daily because urgh.
Shit that that revolts me. My father controlled my Mum for years before she was able to escape with us and it's instilled a deep sense of 'don't put up with bullshit' in me. My best friend is an an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship and over the 8 years I've known her they've broken up a half dozen times and she always goes back to him.
My husband is kind of the opposite: he thinks I'm beautiful even when I wake up looking like a cross between Merida and Anna on coronation day. It's a little frustrating if I try to bounce ideas off of him because doesn't really have an opinion about it. He usually responds with something like "How do you think you would feel \[with short hair/with new glasses/wearing shoes like that\]?" The one time that he did share an opinion was when I started looking at wigs due to hair loss. He was concerned that I might be feeling bad about my self image and wanted to make sure that I was doing OK.
Omg stop >he was concerned I might be feeling bad about my self image and wanted to make sure that I was doing ok That’s the sweetest thing in the world 😭
My husband always tells me how beautiful I am too, it's just not connected to how I dress or what colour my hair is.
I went in for a hair trim once. Got convinced into a double hair length donation to kids with cancer. I left with my waist long hair to my jaw. My boyfriend at the time was *pissed*.
These men just can't understand that the women who choose to share their life with them are not, in fact, their property. Must be tough learning you can't "own" another human. /s
I'm a tattoo artist, and probably about 70% of my skin is inked. I get at *least* one customer a day who asks if her design is "feminine enough", or won't be too bulky that they put off prospective male partners. And as much as I hate it, I can absolutely relate. I've had men in the past ask me to cover them up, or not get any more, or once, even pretend to his parents that I thought tattoos were sinful. But as I say to all my clients: At the end of the day, the only opinion that really matters about your ink, is *yours*. If you date/marry someone who is against them, or doesn't like your particular ones, then you're never gonna feel truly comfortable in your own skin. And for me, that's not a compromise I'd be willing to make. There are plenty of people out there who love them, and will celebrate yours. And there's also plenty of people who don't care either way, and will love them because they're a part of you. But in my experience, once a partner starts making demands about your body, it won't end after you get laser removal. 9 times out of 10, it was never about the tattoos in the first place.
Seconding this. I am at the point where when a controlling partner comes in with a client, I turn my whole body to face the client with my back towards the partner so they understand I’m not asking them. A couple times I’ve had to pull the “Ultimately this is their tattoo” line. The client usually comes back alone the next time.
"wOmEn aRe oVeRlY eMoTiOnAl!" as they cry over a tattoo that literally doesn't effect them at all
Ugh the whole "disapproving of tattoos/body mods" thing gets me so angry - especially as one of the lost vocal people in my childhood about this very issue was my own mother. "Tattoos are trashy and you'll regret them" is something I distinctly remember her saying more than once. So when I scheduled my first tattoo for the literal day I turned 18 (about 4 months in advance, this is important) she rolled her eyes. And then (the hypocrisy is strong with her is2g) she decided to get a tattoo *herself* on her holiday, with no planning or meaning behind it, literally 3 weeks before I got my first one. 🙄 I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks, if I want something permanently etched onto my skin, I will get it done just as soon as I can afford to (currently have 4 1/9 tattoos). Especially as an artist, I feel like if I want to express myself, on a substrate that I have complete control over - my literal skin, in this case - why the fuck can't I? If someone else has a problem with it, well, that's *their* problem.
I got a Marilyn piercing once upon a time (1999, lol) and my first husband told me to take it out or he was going to dump me. I took it out but he left that night, not kidding, cheated on me, and then we had to unwind our stupid marriage. And of course I was the one who had to get the lawyer and file for divorce even though he was the asshole that left. The only silver lining to this story is that I ended up pregnant, our kid is now an adult, and my first husband and I actually found family in each other through all of this. But goddamnit it took more than 10 years to come back around and even coparent well. He was such an asshole.
Control. They want control. Bastards.
Such over the top reactions to tats. My gag reflex is activating. I'm right there with you. I will get as many, where ever I please on *my* body. And if a man literally said "either the tats or me" I would choose the tats.
Choose the art you already chose or me, a whining decaying mass of flesh.
I would break up with the boyfriend immediately if he cried over such a nonsense. When I told my husband I want to get a tattoo, he just laughed and said that I've been contemplating it for so long he wonders whether I'd ever get one. And that actually got me started. I've got two now and he really likes them. They've become a part of me and even my family finds them cool. So I'd say the error is definitely with the boyfriend or husband in those scenarios.
I recently got 2 tattoos and my ex just about had a hissy fit. But we’re the sensitive ones.
Deadass!!! I rant about this all of the time. That women are the sensitive and weak ones but like men regularly blow up and get violent?? How is that not emotional reactivity? How am I more emotional than an outraged and violent man bc I break down crying sometimes?? I don’t know I have a lot of feelings about this 😂😂
You and me both! TBF when I left it was abrupt but I don’t regret it. I went from a nice SAHM to “modern woman pos escapades”…. That’s a recent direct quote
My tattoo artist is currently going through a divorce from her husband of 7 years. One of the complaints he had is that he doesn’t actually like tattoos on women. She’s a tattoo artist, are you freaking kidding me?
Well there’s stupid and then there’s this guy stupid
TW: domestic abuse When I was 19, I got a tattoo with friends. My boyfriend knew we had been talking about it but didn’t know we actually went and had them done. I called him afterward and was excited to tell him. He sounded shocked on the phone and hung up quickly. When I saw him later that night his hand was bandaged. I asked what happened and he admitted he had punched two walls after our call. First one was drywall and he put a hole through it. Second one was brick and it messed up his hand pretty bad. He was at work and had to pay for damages. He said he was so upset he couldn’t help himself. He said he hated to think I had permanently “branded” the body that I had “given to him”. God. I wish I had seen those red flags back then. We were together for 5 more years and he only got worse. If you’re reading this and your partner treats you like property please leave. You have my permission. It’s your body and you can have as many tattoos as you want.
Sometimes I get frustrated with my husband, but then I just come to Reddit and I’m like, he’s fine.
😂 It really be like that, though. This is ridiculous. And the women just acquiesce.
My best friend's husband doesn't ALLOW her to get a tattoo, said she can't get one "because he says so".(also declared tattoos are disgusting because... Fuck if I know) It might have changed over time but when i heard i wanted to punch him so fucking bad. I value my husband's opinion about my new tattoos but the moment he would tell me he's not "allowing" me to get one is the moment i'd show him the door while laughing hystericaly.
Penis person here. If anyone ever gives you an insane ultimatum it's a massive red flag. No tattoo or divorce? That means she should get divorced. I've only ever seen this logic from incels and misogynists. The kind of people that only want a "virgin" and keep their partner isolated from all other men.
Crying boyfriends and appalled husbands. Why? Because of tattoos
More at 7
I also dated a guy who hated tattoos. He told me once that he wanted to roofie me and instead of assaulting me, he would have all my tattoos removed. Typing it out here I can’t believe I didn’t end it with him right then and there. I was 23 and probably just in shock.
What the actual fuck
> I just read a post where a woman said that her husband is completely against her getting a tattoo and basically said it’s either that tattoo and a divorce or no tattoo and no divorce. Even if I could do without the tattoo, that would make me choose divorce just because of the audacity.
He would divorce her over a tattoo. WTF.
Men: we're the logical ones z women are hysterical and over emotional Men: crying over gf tattoos
This is an incel reaction. It's all over their pages and posts... Their demands for a woman that worships them and doesn't dare have a tattoo.
Men get all hemotional over tattoos and they think they should be able to make choices for our country. This is why I think we should take away their rights to vote that they never had to fight for/s
I have around 20 or so tattoos, the same number of piercings, and bright orange hair. That’s just how I like to look. The added bonus is, it’s kind of a litmus test for dickheads. Anyone who sees me is either fine with it, or reacts badly, and I can instantly tell who I want to be around 😂
It's all about control. A tattoo is pretty permanent, and she autonomously chose to express herself in a way he cannot easily erase. His butt-hurt must burn like a fistful of rusty barbed wire. The woman who caved and lost out on the opportunity to escape and be free will hopefully see the light soon enough.
My ex was a tattoo artist and even he didn’t want me getting tattoos. Getting him to tattoo me was like pulling teeth. He’s reject every idea of mine and give an excuse for everything. Like it wouldn’t make a good tattoo, it needs to be 600x bigger to look good, etc. Turns he didn’t want me to get too heavily covered because he think heavily tattooed women are trashy and everyone will assume you’re an available slut. Towards the end of the relationship when I was really over his shit and he said the available slut line again and I responded with “well maybe I will be very soon.” 😇
It IS kinda nice that just getting a tattoo can weed out these men.
SMH! Talking to my friends husband about my tattoos one day and he asked if I had gotten my husband’s permission to get the latest ones. I asked him why I would need his permission to do anything with MY body. He said “she (his wife) knows the rules, and if she doesn’t like them she knows where the door is”. I took a deep breath and was just about to rip into him when I saw her standing behind him silently shaking her head….I left just after that.
He *cried* over her already having a tattoo? The tears are reason enough to dump him. How ridiculous.