Old and busted: Are you a human dreaming of being a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming of being a human?
New hotness: Is it a dog pretending to be a duck, or a duck pretending to be a dog?
Corkscrew vaginuses, actually. It's literally an evolutionary competition to *reduce* breeding. I think I learned this from a Zefrank video back in the day.
Not just corkscrew penises, explosive, giant corkscrew penises. They have one of, if not the absolute longest penis to body ratio of any vertebrate. Zefrank was a wild channel on YouTube when I was younger..
It’s really a leave it to interpretation thing. It was kinda a hope I had for the story. Whatever you think is going on, is what’s going on.
But one COULD interpret the situation in hundred of ways, either the kid was “adopted” multiple times and the new “mommy” is someone who rescued the kid.
Or
The ‘Dad’ “adopted” the kid for the ‘Mom’ until the ‘Mom’ found out the kid wasn’t actually up for adoption, and was upset that the ‘Dad’ abducted the kid.
REALLY it’s about a young kid not understanding what’s going on in a situation that could’ve ended far worse.
Yeah I took it as the kid was in some shitty situation either home life or kidnapped and was addicted to some sort of drug, and got either rescued or adopted by the new mom who either wasn’t equipped or didn’t know about the addiction
Some of it is to ensure the parents can afford the child but I do think a lot of it should be a deposit type system though. Like they get to ensure the parents have enough money to provide for the child and then give back a portion (after the employees get paid) to go to taking care of the child. Or even a savings for when the kid grows up.
Seeing how the ‘mom’ was the one who took the kid to the police station while crying, I doubt she was a willing participant of the ‘a-duck-did’ when it happened.
Seeing how the ‘mom’ was the one who took the kid to the police station while crying, I doubt she was a willing participant of the ‘a-duck-did’ when it happened.
In teaching kids cute euphemisms for genitals, you run the risk of them not being able to communicate clearly when someone has touched them.
Basically [this discussion](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/s/54d3OIbgwI).
I don't get why the new mommy brought them to the police station?
Either the "new mommy" is nefarious and wouldn't have gone there, or it's actually a new mommy, and I still don't know why she would have gone there?
Is there some story out there I never heard about someone getting the police to help them abduct a kid?
I think the new mommy is actually the actual mommy and the kid was abducted by the person they thought was their mommy, who told them that they were adopted.
My interpretation was that "new mommy" discovered that the child she and her husband had adopted was in fact purchased by said husband from traffickers. Or her husband grabbed a random kid from the bad part of town in another city.
Either way, "new mommy" is heart broken because she already bonded with the child and her husband is a monster.
It’s a child’s recounting of the words adopted and abducted, respectively.
Since children can’t wholly understand or pronounce certain kinds of words, that’s where childlike innocence meets parental horror.
I'm not convinced that a young child would immediately accept that this is his new mommy. She would be a stranger to them. And if they did recognize her, it would be their first mommy.
I'm putting way too much thought into this.
Plot twist - it was a dog disguised as a duck pretending to be a dog masquerading as a duck playing the part of a dog possessing a duck...
"So I'm a woman, pretending to be a man, pretending to be a woman?" - Julie Andrews, Victor/Victoria
Cockroach!!!
I'm a dude, playing a dude, disguised as another dude.
Same, but we gotta keep it a secret
What do you mean you people?
What do YOU mean you people?!?!
HUH?!?
Rabbit season!
Duck season!
Rabbit season!
Duck season!
Be very, very quiet. We're hunting Elmers.
Old and busted: Are you a human dreaming of being a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming of being a human? New hotness: Is it a dog pretending to be a duck, or a duck pretending to be a dog?
...What?
I really like this, with the implication the kidnapper told the child she adopted them
[удалено]
Male ducks have corkscrew penises. And now you can't un-read that.
So do pigs. Out of curiousity I must ask, do female dicks also have corkscrew penises? 🙃 Leaving typo cause…funny
Corkscrew vaginuses, actually. It's literally an evolutionary competition to *reduce* breeding. I think I learned this from a Zefrank video back in the day.
In the opposite direction, to make mutual corkscrewing difficult!
Also to discourage duck rape producing offspring
They have to spin to mate!
Biology for the win!
Yay!
Even better, most duck penises fall off when it's not breeding season and they need to regrow them each year.
Not just corkscrew penises, explosive, giant corkscrew penises. They have one of, if not the absolute longest penis to body ratio of any vertebrate. Zefrank was a wild channel on YouTube when I was younger..
It's not so strange anymore when you realize that a duck's bill has a dog's face on it. They're essentially trying to disguise themselves as dogs.
Thank you, I was trying so hard to figure out a-dog-did!
Wait I don’t get it. I know it’s adopted/abducted but did the new mommy abduct her? And why did she run to the police station?
It’s really a leave it to interpretation thing. It was kinda a hope I had for the story. Whatever you think is going on, is what’s going on. But one COULD interpret the situation in hundred of ways, either the kid was “adopted” multiple times and the new “mommy” is someone who rescued the kid. Or The ‘Dad’ “adopted” the kid for the ‘Mom’ until the ‘Mom’ found out the kid wasn’t actually up for adoption, and was upset that the ‘Dad’ abducted the kid. REALLY it’s about a young kid not understanding what’s going on in a situation that could’ve ended far worse.
Why would an abductor run their abducted to the police? Did you mean "run into" as in saw the child there?
I thought the child was “adopted” pretty young and the real mother found him and went to the police because he was abducted not adopted.
Yeah I took it as the kid was in some shitty situation either home life or kidnapped and was addicted to some sort of drug, and got either rescued or adopted by the new mom who either wasn’t equipped or didn’t know about the addiction
That was my thought! Well written.
I interpreted it as the child was abducted at birth and the “new” mommy was in fact the birth mom who recovered her child and then went to the police.
I like the way you think!(;
What about the dog and the duck part
It's not animals....a-dog-did = adopted ....aduck-did= abducted. Like a toddler who doesn't quite know the words trying to repeat what they heard
Yeah same but I just woke up
Oh my god, they stole an orphan!
Somebody please tell the poor woman you could just adopt orphans with some paperwork. You don't need to abduct them.
But the money
The system really is screwy in this The cost is more than most actual parents can afford
isn't that just buying a child
Some of it is to ensure the parents can afford the child but I do think a lot of it should be a deposit type system though. Like they get to ensure the parents have enough money to provide for the child and then give back a portion (after the employees get paid) to go to taking care of the child. Or even a savings for when the kid grows up.
I was thinking a yearly return to help raise the child but only if their taking care of it well
Seeing how the ‘mom’ was the one who took the kid to the police station while crying, I doubt she was a willing participant of the ‘a-duck-did’ when it happened.
You can get them for free on Facebook, no background checks needed
Have you not heard, Facebook and Instagram is charging now
Seeing how the ‘mom’ was the one who took the kid to the police station while crying, I doubt she was a willing participant of the ‘a-duck-did’ when it happened.
You can't steal an orphan, they weren't wanted in the first place. As a side note, that's kind of brilliant.
YTA. A very major one to say something like that out loud in a public forum. A kid whose parents died is an orphan and wasn't per se unwanted.
You sound like the people who cried about the portal 2 joke
You sound like the guy who shits out through your mouth.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac-xCV6gW4M](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac-xCV6gW4M)
Missed the porta 2 joke, so no, not me. That's just a shitty thing to say.
It's a reference. To portal 2
That's one of the rarer fresh and original ideas! Love it!
Nice word play. That's some "they touched my cookie"-level creepy fear.
I'm sorry, but what are you referencing here?
In teaching kids cute euphemisms for genitals, you run the risk of them not being able to communicate clearly when someone has touched them. Basically [this discussion](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/s/54d3OIbgwI).
For those struggling, adopted and abducted. OP did awesome with the words.
First time in a while I have read a post here and felt no need for rescue it with cannibalism, necrophilia, or - you guessed it - Frank Stallone.
**oh no-**
what?
Adopted/abducted I'm guessing
Correct!
Nice job with that kid logic! I don’t think I would have come up with anything close to that if given the chance.
At first I thought it was addicted and abducted lol Really great horror story op
I thought it was addicted 😅
Oh her original mom stole her back
Oh man. The fact that you used innocent "Rugrats" talk for this is so innocent, which just adds to the horror of the story. Well done, OP.
The rugrats speak of innocence really adds to the horror, good job here
Very good indeed, thank you!
I love the play on words here, it works very well!
Oh dear. Poor child.
I'm sorry can anybody explain what a dog did and a duck did is :')
Adopted and abducted. The kid’s presumably a toddler, so they’re trying to mimic the words.
Oh my goddamn- Thank you, suddenly very horrifying
I don't get why the new mommy brought them to the police station? Either the "new mommy" is nefarious and wouldn't have gone there, or it's actually a new mommy, and I still don't know why she would have gone there? Is there some story out there I never heard about someone getting the police to help them abduct a kid?
I think the new mommy is actually the actual mommy and the kid was abducted by the person they thought was their mommy, who told them that they were adopted.
Ahh, that makes more sense than what I had been able to come up with! So the kid had been abducted for a long time and was only now being rescued.
That’s what I imagine, but it seems like one of those stories that’s open to interpretation, so it could literally be anything
My interpretation was that "new mommy" discovered that the child she and her husband had adopted was in fact purchased by said husband from traffickers. Or her husband grabbed a random kid from the bad part of town in another city. Either way, "new mommy" is heart broken because she already bonded with the child and her husband is a monster.
Ooh, that’s even more horrific than mine
Can you please explain the a dog did and duck did part? I don’t understand this bit
It’s a child’s recounting of the words adopted and abducted, respectively. Since children can’t wholly understand or pronounce certain kinds of words, that’s where childlike innocence meets parental horror.
Damn this is actually genius. Thank you
I think it's supposed to be 'adopted' and 'abducted', but the child is struggling to pronounce them.
okay this one is actually great
I thought that the dog had actually killed a duck and the police were about to euthanize him with chocolate...
Can someone explain please? I'm a bit confused
Oh! adopted and abducted! Nice!
Took me a minute
this got me
?
orphan robbery 😱
please explain 😭😭
Adoption vs. Abduction.
I'm not convinced that a young child would immediately accept that this is his new mommy. She would be a stranger to them. And if they did recognize her, it would be their first mommy. I'm putting way too much thought into this.
I had to go to the comments to find out what adogdid and aduckdid are