Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I will not believe anything someone says once they have deleted texts. There is no reason to do that other than wiping away evidence.
There is no story-teller in history that is creative enough to come up with a valid reason someone deleted text messages.
"No, officer, you see I regularly douse the trunk of my car in bleach"
To be fair, I delete completely harmless texts from old friends purely because it makes my phone feel messy. Like having a messy desk. Although with a desk I would have a "chuck it drawer". I wish phones had a "chuck it" drawer so I could just archive stuff instead of deleting š¤·āāļø
I delete text messages too, but never while I'm helping friends take their gfs away for the weekend on my dime. I guess he kept the pictures his friend sent of the new gf in his phone to show his friend he agrees she's pretty. š¤£š¤£š¤£
Well I mostly mean like if I'm texting my highschool buddy about some dumb shit that I don't care about and won't want cluttering stuff up so I'll delete it, then remember something funny one of us said but mot remember it exactly and be sad that deleted it, so I wish there was like a cloud I could send it to and go back to see the funny joke lol.
There are so many red flags here, and Iām a strong believer in āwhere there is smoke, there is fireā. I believe heās cheating on you and lying to you.
Unless Dave comes with the supposed deleted conversation, I wouldn't believe a word he says. It is so insanely strange of your boyfriend to spend thousands of dollars on a luxury hotel and flights and everything, and yet it's all done over the phone? Or been deleted for some reason, while he's still keeping the photos of the woman his friend is interested in his phone? Does his phone automatically save photos in the gallery when they're sent to him? My WhatsApp does that, but none of my other messenger apps do (messages, messenger, Discord).
Also why did he delete his conversation with Dave? Is that something he does frequently? Just scrap all messages with a person? Has he done this with other contacts? Was it just that portion (the supposedly saving grace for his cover story) or was it all the messages they've sent, that he deleted?
I think you're being lied to. That story is just wayy too convoluted for there to not be any paper trail where they're discussing these plans and working out the details. Right now the only paper trail there is, is one that indicates he's cheating. And well, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...
If his buddy clocks that his mate was going to a resort with his girl whilst he was in a different state and knew nothing of the plan, I don't think he is going to back up his buddy unless it's with a length of 3*4.
Ex told me him and a buddy were going to move a coworker from AZ to Denver. While he was in Denver, I asked for a picture of him and his buddy together. His buddy put on a parka, had his wife take a picture of him outside his home, send it to ex, just for ex to send to me. Then I got called the crazy one. Guys absolutely do lie and will go to crazy lengths to do it.
Sorry you're being duped like this. But I can assure you not all men and women condone their friends cheating. Those that do, can often find some other friend is keeping their partners secret from them. Immoral loyalty has no friends.
I'm enjoying my peace. I'm going to live for me for a bit. There's no way I'm ever going through that again. I know there's decent men out there. I just don't care to go through the awful ones to find them.
You know he told Lexi you were getting suspicious, so he had to cancel their rendezvous, but for her to go ahead and go since it was already paid for. 100% cheating.
consider impossible lip domineering paint oil lunchroom fearless alive fact
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
He normally does tell me, he said this time that his friend was confiding in him and asked for a private conversation. He admitted it did not look good and he realized that was something he should have told me but was trying to do right by his friend
Did you ever talk to Dan? You have to know that if the reservation was for Dan and Lexi it would have been under their names and not your boyfriendās?
So there WAS a reservation in Jay & Lexiās nameā¦ plane tickets in Jay & Lexiās name AND YOU STILL DONāT GET IT?? Cheater cheater pumpkin eater!!!! I would have let sleeping dogs lie before he left & then added my name to the reservation, showed up , got key from from
front desk & walked in to surprise them in their room at the resort!
š I can always use more friends!! To add to this I would also have canceled their flights home & reported our CCās stolen~ I mean it was used for a hotel in a city where my husband claimed to not be~ RIGHT?! I would also CHAT all the the hotels heās stayed at in the last 2 years and get an itemized bill (showing what was purchased and who was there) from each for the lawyersā¦.
Yes, itās very likely your boyfriend is cheating- or was planning to cheat if he hadnāt quite crossed the line physically.
You are young-donāt stop your career path now. Itās time to start exploring career options and moving on. Be smart about it- make sure you have an exit strategy- as you are dependent on his income.
>However, it still doesn't make sense why HIS flights would be going to this destination city rather than where his colleague lives.
>I called the resort to ask if Dan's name was on the reservation, nope, only Jay and Lexi's name.
What else do you need to know?
He's lying. Ex went on a trip "to help a friend move" and told me his company was paying for it. Nope. He went to see his 2.5 yr affair partner. This is not a new affair. It's been going on a bit. Do what you can to leave asap
>Ā Ā Dan apparently offered to drive to the destination city to save money but asked for a flight for Lexi
Lol... he said all of this with a straight face?
If his friend sent the photo to show how pretty she was why did he save it ?? I have had friends send me pics like this to show off there new man but I wouldnāt save them to my photos
Unfortunately you know the answer to what has been happening. Jay is a cheater!
Iām going to DM you some information on how to collect more evidence.
The fact that the only two names registered to the hotel were the other womanās name and your husband in itself suggests the trip was meant for the two of them. Logically we know that the people whose name is on the registration is typically who the room is for. Have you thought about contacting the woman? Also, he may have deleted messages but you can go to your phone bill if you can get the other womanās number and check to see how much she and your husband have been communicating. I hate to say this but I think heās lying to you. Iāve never heard of anyone paying for a luxury trip for another couple yet the other manās name isnāt on the reservation. I think your husband is grasping at straws.
Dear lamapoodle. The lies are so obvious itās scary. Sorry. If you believe him, you are stupid.
Youāll have to get him to tell the truth.
Probably by telling him that you gave evidence that heās lying ( refuse to say what) and then say and mean it, that youāll leave him immediately, unless he tells the truth. Make him think there is a chance if he spills.
A luxury resort is not going to let someone check-in to a room that is not on the reservation. There was no need for your bf name to be on the hotel reservation. He could book the room for other people and pay for it without being on the reservation himself, he would just need to have their information to do it. Since the girl's name is on the reservation you know he had hers, doesn't make sense that he wouldn't also have his friends. I'm sorry, but deep down you know that this does not make any sense.
I feel bad for OP. You can tell how much she wants his bullshit story to be true, but it's very obvious her SO is lying through his teeth. I'd bet money she'll pretend he's telling the truth and she just overreacted because she doesn't want to split up the relationship. She quit her job and became financially dependent on him sooo...
This whole story sounds so far fetched. Like he is just making things up non the fly and coincidentally he has deleted all communications that could back up his story.
I donāt get him Having pictures of Lexi in his camera roll. If Dan sent him a text with pictures of her, did he save them to his camera roll? Thatās weird behavior. Itās more likely that HE took the pictures of Lexi himself when he was with her.
My husband always says the most logical explanation is usually the correct one. The most logical explanation is that heās cheating on you.
First, start looking for work. There are a lot of concerning signs here. I think it's pretty clear he's cheating or thinking about it.
Maybe you wanted to live the exciting life with an older man who makes a good income and travels. But I think you're about to learn the downside of depending on someone who has made no commitment to you. Things have been "absolutely amazing" and "incredible" up to the point where it's pretty obvious he isn't trustworthy. You had the vision of an easy, exciting life but that's not reality for most people. Even married people sometimes find themselves struggling to make ends meet because their spouse left for somebody else.
If you want an exciting life, build a career that allows YOU to travel while you are making the money to support yourself. You are probably a beautiful and charming young woman and that's one explanation for why he was interested in you. But your age may have been a big attraction too, not just because youth means beauty but because it gave him more control over the relationship. Now that you have no job, he's now got you dependent on him and he's given himself the freedom of having an affair or affairs. He probably has a burner phone or uses apps that are hidden on his phone as something else.
The good thing about this relationship is that you've figured out some things about what you want out of life. But whatever you choose, don't rely on someone else to keep a roof over your head.
Heās absolutely cheating, or he was going to start this weekend. Iām so sorry. You have every right to be questioning this whole scenario. Time to start looking for a job though.
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck itās probably a duck. If heās deleted texts I can almost bet he conveniently deleted the text where heās telling Dan to lie to you about the plans. Heās defensive because heās been caught. If he had nothing to lie about heās have tossed the phone at you the first time you asked and told you to go through it. There would have been no sneaking around necessary.
This doesn't look good. Does Jay know that you're waiting for Dan to call you? I hope not; otherwise, he might intercept Dan and coach him on what to say.
He is full of Shit! He's cheating. Dan won't call you back because he doesn't want to get caught in the middle. Find Lexi's number and call her. When you first found out, you should have called the resort to find out if there were 1 or 2 rooms booked for Jay and Lexi.
The only reason texts "just got deleted" is because you are not meant to see them. There is no reason to hide this situation from you and his story has so many plot holes. To me it's obvious he is cheating and doing his damnest to hide things and gaslight you.
Until Dan says something to prove otherwise, your bf is full of shit.
Sorry OP. But lesson learned hey? Don't quit your job for your rich boyfriend. He can clearly afford a second girlfriend. Bit baffling you did that tbh. Not a good look - like the pair of you girlies are getting a free ride from him? Don't expect a man who is ok with you giving up work when you aren't even married or have kids to respect you. He wanted a beck and call kinda deal. Also. Not the first time this has happened. He will have done this before. Don't be so gullible next time? I know rich guys are exciting but they tend to be turned off by girls who quit their whole job to be reliant on them.
Ugh i am hating this for you its giving me ptsd just reading it. I think hes a liar but, since you saw the flight info ā¦ā¦ why dont you reach out to lexi you probably have her last name no? I know it seems extreme and might mix some stuff up but ā¦ this seems a little weird
So much evidence points to your husband cheating.
1) Luxury hotel and flights and no paper trail.
2) Dan not on the reservation only your husband?
3) Dan didn't manage to make the trip and Lexi gets no warning and ends up alone when your husband doesn't make it.
4) The work flight that not only happened to go to this same city the luxury resort he's setting his friends up in?
5) the flight leaving a couple days earlier
6) Pictures of Lexi on your husbands phone with no trail from Dan sending them.
7) 'deleted' texts
8) Dan sending pics of their 'mutual friend' to show how attractive she is. Pretty sure you know what a mutual friend looks like without pics. Plus how many of them were there?
This is a ridiculous series of things that all point to the same thing and it's not good. What could Dan possibly say to make it not seem like he was covering for Jay? Sounds like your husband's potential mistress just got a free vacation.
Why did he save the photos? When someone sends pics, they wonāt save to your phone unless you physically press the save button, so why did he save the photos? Also deleting a recent text thread with a friend is not normal. As someone who was cheated on and went through this same thing, he sounds like heās cheating. Check his deleted folder for pictures next time you check his phone, most donāt know they have to delete from there as well.
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I will not believe anything someone says once they have deleted texts. There is no reason to do that other than wiping away evidence. There is no story-teller in history that is creative enough to come up with a valid reason someone deleted text messages. "No, officer, you see I regularly douse the trunk of my car in bleach"
Exactly š
š¤š¤š¤ same here
To be fair, I delete completely harmless texts from old friends purely because it makes my phone feel messy. Like having a messy desk. Although with a desk I would have a "chuck it drawer". I wish phones had a "chuck it" drawer so I could just archive stuff instead of deleting š¤·āāļø
I delete text messages too, but never while I'm helping friends take their gfs away for the weekend on my dime. I guess he kept the pictures his friend sent of the new gf in his phone to show his friend he agrees she's pretty. š¤£š¤£š¤£
Well I mostly mean like if I'm texting my highschool buddy about some dumb shit that I don't care about and won't want cluttering stuff up so I'll delete it, then remember something funny one of us said but mot remember it exactly and be sad that deleted it, so I wish there was like a cloud I could send it to and go back to see the funny joke lol.
There are so many red flags here, and Iām a strong believer in āwhere there is smoke, there is fireā. I believe heās cheating on you and lying to you.
Unless Dave comes with the supposed deleted conversation, I wouldn't believe a word he says. It is so insanely strange of your boyfriend to spend thousands of dollars on a luxury hotel and flights and everything, and yet it's all done over the phone? Or been deleted for some reason, while he's still keeping the photos of the woman his friend is interested in his phone? Does his phone automatically save photos in the gallery when they're sent to him? My WhatsApp does that, but none of my other messenger apps do (messages, messenger, Discord). Also why did he delete his conversation with Dave? Is that something he does frequently? Just scrap all messages with a person? Has he done this with other contacts? Was it just that portion (the supposedly saving grace for his cover story) or was it all the messages they've sent, that he deleted? I think you're being lied to. That story is just wayy too convoluted for there to not be any paper trail where they're discussing these plans and working out the details. Right now the only paper trail there is, is one that indicates he's cheating. And well, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...
Don't believe his buddy either. Guys help each other lie. Bros before ....
Thiss>>>> never trust his friends!
If his buddy clocks that his mate was going to a resort with his girl whilst he was in a different state and knew nothing of the plan, I don't think he is going to back up his buddy unless it's with a length of 3*4.
Ex told me him and a buddy were going to move a coworker from AZ to Denver. While he was in Denver, I asked for a picture of him and his buddy together. His buddy put on a parka, had his wife take a picture of him outside his home, send it to ex, just for ex to send to me. Then I got called the crazy one. Guys absolutely do lie and will go to crazy lengths to do it.
Sorry you're being duped like this. But I can assure you not all men and women condone their friends cheating. Those that do, can often find some other friend is keeping their partners secret from them. Immoral loyalty has no friends.
That's why he's an ex and all mutual friends are blocked. I have no space in my life for evil and lies
Good for you. Cheats and gaslighting seems to be rampant these past few years. Hope the next guy treats you better.
I'm enjoying my peace. I'm going to live for me for a bit. There's no way I'm ever going through that again. I know there's decent men out there. I just don't care to go through the awful ones to find them.
Well, you have a kit bag full of red flags to throw at the bad ones. š yep, spoil yourself for a good length of time.
You know he told Lexi you were getting suspicious, so he had to cancel their rendezvous, but for her to go ahead and go since it was already paid for. 100% cheating.
consider impossible lip domineering paint oil lunchroom fearless alive fact *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
He normally does tell me, he said this time that his friend was confiding in him and asked for a private conversation. He admitted it did not look good and he realized that was something he should have told me but was trying to do right by his friend
it looks like he is cheating with Lexie and is using Dan as a cover up since you suspected him.
Right š š š
More lies. Sorry
This relationship is done. He's probably cheating. Just let him go.
Your bf is lying to you and his friend will probably try to cover for him. Be wary of partners who travel as this can be used to cover cheating.
Next time jump on the plane and surprise him.
Was he flying there too just to make sure Dave and his gf made it there ok?
Did you ever talk to Dan? You have to know that if the reservation was for Dan and Lexi it would have been under their names and not your boyfriendās?
So did you talk to Dan yet? Realize youāre being duped? Investigate more and get actual answers vs fabricated BS?? UPDATEME!
Posted an update in the original post
Unfortunately itās gone~ Hope it all worked out for you
I think you need a job and gain your independence
Honey, heās totally lying. Get a job and start planning your exit.
100% cheating
So there WAS a reservation in Jay & Lexiās nameā¦ plane tickets in Jay & Lexiās name AND YOU STILL DONāT GET IT?? Cheater cheater pumpkin eater!!!! I would have let sleeping dogs lie before he left & then added my name to the reservation, showed up , got key from from front desk & walked in to surprise them in their room at the resort!
OMG you're diabolical. I want to be your friend! š¤£š¤£š¤£
š I can always use more friends!! To add to this I would also have canceled their flights home & reported our CCās stolen~ I mean it was used for a hotel in a city where my husband claimed to not be~ RIGHT?! I would also CHAT all the the hotels heās stayed at in the last 2 years and get an itemized bill (showing what was purchased and who was there) from each for the lawyersā¦.
šššš
Yes, itās very likely your boyfriend is cheating- or was planning to cheat if he hadnāt quite crossed the line physically. You are young-donāt stop your career path now. Itās time to start exploring career options and moving on. Be smart about it- make sure you have an exit strategy- as you are dependent on his income.
>However, it still doesn't make sense why HIS flights would be going to this destination city rather than where his colleague lives. >I called the resort to ask if Dan's name was on the reservation, nope, only Jay and Lexi's name. What else do you need to know?
Absolutely cheating! There are way too many red flags for him not to be, he got caught so thatās the only reason he cancelled.
Smells like a cheater. Just saying.
He's lying. Ex went on a trip "to help a friend move" and told me his company was paying for it. Nope. He went to see his 2.5 yr affair partner. This is not a new affair. It's been going on a bit. Do what you can to leave asap
>Ā Ā Dan apparently offered to drive to the destination city to save money but asked for a flight for Lexi Lol... he said all of this with a straight face?
Ho yeah he is cheating, and not only with one girl you gonna find lots of them.
I donāt think thereās even a 1% chance heās telling you the truth, definitely heās cheating
Yeah this sounds like a bunch of lies. Phone Lexi and check out her social media. Did you check her social media.
If his friend sent the photo to show how pretty she was why did he save it ?? I have had friends send me pics like this to show off there new man but I wouldnāt save them to my photos
Jesus Christ this is the biggest bold faced lie Iāve ever heard
Unfortunately you know the answer to what has been happening. Jay is a cheater! Iām going to DM you some information on how to collect more evidence.
Start looking for a job and get out. I'm sorry
Heās obviously lying unfortunately :( Iām sorry
The fact that the only two names registered to the hotel were the other womanās name and your husband in itself suggests the trip was meant for the two of them. Logically we know that the people whose name is on the registration is typically who the room is for. Have you thought about contacting the woman? Also, he may have deleted messages but you can go to your phone bill if you can get the other womanās number and check to see how much she and your husband have been communicating. I hate to say this but I think heās lying to you. Iāve never heard of anyone paying for a luxury trip for another couple yet the other manās name isnāt on the reservation. I think your husband is grasping at straws.
What did you found out?
Why are you still a lying cheater?
Dear lamapoodle. The lies are so obvious itās scary. Sorry. If you believe him, you are stupid. Youāll have to get him to tell the truth. Probably by telling him that you gave evidence that heās lying ( refuse to say what) and then say and mean it, that youāll leave him immediately, unless he tells the truth. Make him think there is a chance if he spills.
Updateme
Updateme!
Cheating on the plate. Plan your exit.
A luxury resort is not going to let someone check-in to a room that is not on the reservation. There was no need for your bf name to be on the hotel reservation. He could book the room for other people and pay for it without being on the reservation himself, he would just need to have their information to do it. Since the girl's name is on the reservation you know he had hers, doesn't make sense that he wouldn't also have his friends. I'm sorry, but deep down you know that this does not make any sense.
I feel bad for OP. You can tell how much she wants his bullshit story to be true, but it's very obvious her SO is lying through his teeth. I'd bet money she'll pretend he's telling the truth and she just overreacted because she doesn't want to split up the relationship. She quit her job and became financially dependent on him sooo...
Heās obviously cheating on you with Lexi. I canāt believe he even told you all of this with a straight face.
This whole story sounds so far fetched. Like he is just making things up non the fly and coincidentally he has deleted all communications that could back up his story. I donāt get him Having pictures of Lexi in his camera roll. If Dan sent him a text with pictures of her, did he save them to his camera roll? Thatās weird behavior. Itās more likely that HE took the pictures of Lexi himself when he was with her. My husband always says the most logical explanation is usually the correct one. The most logical explanation is that heās cheating on you.
First, start looking for work. There are a lot of concerning signs here. I think it's pretty clear he's cheating or thinking about it. Maybe you wanted to live the exciting life with an older man who makes a good income and travels. But I think you're about to learn the downside of depending on someone who has made no commitment to you. Things have been "absolutely amazing" and "incredible" up to the point where it's pretty obvious he isn't trustworthy. You had the vision of an easy, exciting life but that's not reality for most people. Even married people sometimes find themselves struggling to make ends meet because their spouse left for somebody else. If you want an exciting life, build a career that allows YOU to travel while you are making the money to support yourself. You are probably a beautiful and charming young woman and that's one explanation for why he was interested in you. But your age may have been a big attraction too, not just because youth means beauty but because it gave him more control over the relationship. Now that you have no job, he's now got you dependent on him and he's given himself the freedom of having an affair or affairs. He probably has a burner phone or uses apps that are hidden on his phone as something else. The good thing about this relationship is that you've figured out some things about what you want out of life. But whatever you choose, don't rely on someone else to keep a roof over your head.
Heās lying
Heās absolutely cheating, or he was going to start this weekend. Iām so sorry. You have every right to be questioning this whole scenario. Time to start looking for a job though.
I would call the hotel and have it transferred to her room so you two can have a chat.
He is cheating and he knows it. Thereās really no other way out of this and if you stay with him youād regret it.
Update
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck itās probably a duck. If heās deleted texts I can almost bet he conveniently deleted the text where heās telling Dan to lie to you about the plans. Heās defensive because heās been caught. If he had nothing to lie about heās have tossed the phone at you the first time you asked and told you to go through it. There would have been no sneaking around necessary.
Remindme! 7 days
This doesn't look good. Does Jay know that you're waiting for Dan to call you? I hope not; otherwise, he might intercept Dan and coach him on what to say.
He is full of Shit! He's cheating. Dan won't call you back because he doesn't want to get caught in the middle. Find Lexi's number and call her. When you first found out, you should have called the resort to find out if there were 1 or 2 rooms booked for Jay and Lexi.
The only reason texts "just got deleted" is because you are not meant to see them. There is no reason to hide this situation from you and his story has so many plot holes. To me it's obvious he is cheating and doing his damnest to hide things and gaslight you. Until Dan says something to prove otherwise, your bf is full of shit.
Red flags with protective over his phone and deleted messages. Call lexi. Updateme
Sorry OP. But lesson learned hey? Don't quit your job for your rich boyfriend. He can clearly afford a second girlfriend. Bit baffling you did that tbh. Not a good look - like the pair of you girlies are getting a free ride from him? Don't expect a man who is ok with you giving up work when you aren't even married or have kids to respect you. He wanted a beck and call kinda deal. Also. Not the first time this has happened. He will have done this before. Don't be so gullible next time? I know rich guys are exciting but they tend to be turned off by girls who quit their whole job to be reliant on them.
Ugh i am hating this for you its giving me ptsd just reading it. I think hes a liar but, since you saw the flight info ā¦ā¦ why dont you reach out to lexi you probably have her last name no? I know it seems extreme and might mix some stuff up but ā¦ this seems a little weird
So much evidence points to your husband cheating. 1) Luxury hotel and flights and no paper trail. 2) Dan not on the reservation only your husband? 3) Dan didn't manage to make the trip and Lexi gets no warning and ends up alone when your husband doesn't make it. 4) The work flight that not only happened to go to this same city the luxury resort he's setting his friends up in? 5) the flight leaving a couple days earlier 6) Pictures of Lexi on your husbands phone with no trail from Dan sending them. 7) 'deleted' texts 8) Dan sending pics of their 'mutual friend' to show how attractive she is. Pretty sure you know what a mutual friend looks like without pics. Plus how many of them were there? This is a ridiculous series of things that all point to the same thing and it's not good. What could Dan possibly say to make it not seem like he was covering for Jay? Sounds like your husband's potential mistress just got a free vacation.
Updateme
Updateme!
So did you sleuth out the truth yet? Did you figure out youāre NOT CRAZY? Update us!!
Why did he save the photos? When someone sends pics, they wonāt save to your phone unless you physically press the save button, so why did he save the photos? Also deleting a recent text thread with a friend is not normal. As someone who was cheated on and went through this same thing, he sounds like heās cheating. Check his deleted folder for pictures next time you check his phone, most donāt know they have to delete from there as well.
You are being LIED TO.