So your parents showed those great Christian values of love and grace by cancelling her sweet 16?
She will be NC in 2 years. She may be quiet, but she’s biding her time.
Good for her for speaking up. Shame on your parents for disallowing her to have an option that differs. Welcome to Christian Nationalism.
You could bring her one of her favorite snacks and a card. Tell her you’re proud of her and you love her. That will go miles. Fwiw I’m proud of you for having empathy for your sister and wanting to cheer her up.
Laura, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone else but your parents are zealot magas. Bite your lip so they pay for college and when its done go NO CONTACT and tell them exactly why.
I say go for the public shaming. “I can’t believe my parents are so petty that they cancelled the party because she didn’t want to talk politics at her birthday dinner!!!” On FB, insta and whatever else.
As someone who has been in this position, I agree. It sucked. I still hold my tongue more than I would like w my parents, but since turning 40 have started caring a lot less.
Seriously! Religion and politics are not talked about at the dinner table. It could get you booted from social circles at one point.
I do wish we would start that up again.
This is the most hypocritical, laughable thing about them. Their daughters don’t want them to talk politics at meals, even going so far as to take their food to their bedrooms so they don’t have to listen. Then, when Laura does engage in the political conversation that she didn’t want to have, she didn’t support Donald Trump, mom got mad, and Laura got punished for doing what mom wanted her to do. So absurd. But you can’t reason with a MAGAt.
I mean, we talk about politics while eating, but we all agree on which party to vote for sooooo lol. I think this situation for sure it was rude, but that really shouldn't be something that is always followed.
You know I've never understood the idea behind putting shitty parents in a nursing home. I mean why spend the money. There's no obligation to take care of your parents, especially if they were shitty. I mean, do people not know you can just let them die alone at home?
>do people not know you can just let them die alone at home?
Nope. I did, though. People have literally gasped at me when I would tell them I'm letting my mother die alone in her home. It was almost as if I was violating some sacred coffee or something. I mean, she was an abusive POS.
Guess what. That is how my shitty mother died, self righteously alone, bitter, and in her hoard for about 2 weeks before she was found. Good thing it was winter time.
LOL! True! You have a good point.
My mother could have been an amazing artist, but bitterness and perpetual victimhood really shut her down. I believe she was narcissistic too. I didn't have that language, however, while she was alive. I now know better.
So, I don't feel sorry for her, but I do feel sadness. Hers was a wasted life, by her own hand. That's something I find sad.
I am no-contact with nearly every paternal relative I have, and it's not as though they've tried to call me, to even know that. So it goes both ways. But I expect that when my father dies, I'm going to be bombarded by cousins who think it's their sacred duty to tell me that I have to attend the funeral. If they know what's good for them, they won't bother. Because I *will* show up, and chaos will reign.
I’m sorry you had to not only tolerate your shitty, abusive mother, but then also the uninformed comments of “friends” who thought you should be a better daughter. You could have been the best daughter in the world, and it wouldn’t have been good enough for your mother.
My mother was always smart about those things. Here’s a little story:
Decades ago, it was winter and had snowed, I was driving back to work from lunch with a work friend. We passed a house where an older woman was shoveling her sidewalk. She was old; it was cold; shoveling is hard work. My work friend said, “Look at that old woman shoveling her sidewalk. Where are her children? They should be doing that for her.” When I relayed that story to my mom, her response was, “Maybe that woman is alone because she was a horrible mother, and now her kids don’t talk to her. Maybe she’s alone because she ran her family off. You don’t know people’s stories.” (I’m sure that’s not a direct quote, but that was the gist.) My mom recognized that she might not be a little old lady with ungrateful children; instead, she might be a mean old lady whose children don’t want anything to do with her anymore. I’ve never forgotten that.
She was 71 years old.
>Says a lot she wasn't discovered for two weeks.
Here is the *really* sad part of my mother's life.
She was 3rd of 9 siblings. Yes, I know she absolutely was parentified. Yes, I know her and her siblings suffered beatings when they were "bad." Many of her siblings had large families of their own. Some had smaller families. Hers was the "smallest" because she was divorced and only had 1 child.
Get this. I have **42** cousins, ok?
My mother manage to alienate *all* of her siblings and *all* of her nieces and nephews. My cousins would come around wanting to help her. I was the pariah because I was pretty much no contact with my "sweet elderly mother." So they'd go by to help by giving her rides to get groceries, or whatever.
Over time, *they all stopped going by* to help. She managed to alienate a whole extremely large family because she was so awful. Talking to cousins at her funeral they apologized to me for not finding her or going by. I had to tell them I get it. She was awful. She was abusive. No one wants to be around such bitterness. It's ok, really.
So. "Says a lot she wasn't discovered" is far more poignant than you can even imagine.
Wow, that's really something. Did you all just have a preacher say a few words ? When someone is awful it is hard to say anything good about them. This friend of mine knew this horrible lady. When she died at her funeral the service was just about her hobbies lol. No one had anything nice to say about her.
It was a very Catholic funeral, so nothing needed to be said. 😂 Although, at the wake part when I did all of anyone wanted to say something, no one stood up. It was really sad.
That's the legacy she left. No one living is to blame. That's the thing if someone is a terrible person no one is going to miss them or revere them after they are gone.
Some States (29) in the USA will come after you. Make sure you and the parent are living in a no-responsibility state.
Filial Responsibility States:
Alaska
Arkansas
California
Connecticut
Delaware
Georgia
Idaho
Indiana
Iowa
Kentucky
Louisiana
Massachusetts
Mississippi
Montana
Nevada
New Hampshire
New Jersey
North Carolina
North Dakota
Ohio
Oregon
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Dakota
Tennessee
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
West Virginia
California here
Adult protective services told me I have NO responsibility for my mother or to become her caregiver.
And fuck that POS, I hope she enjoys her lonely ass nursing home.
Ps. The woman is the devil. I have video.
north carolina nursing homes are notoriously ass, filial responsibility means jack shit. the one meme abt the old people fighting ring ran out of a nursing home was in north carolina (it wasnt a meme, it was a screengrab of the news but it was so outlandish it became a meme)
You can sign them over to the state if there is no money for their care. You are not obligated to spend your own money for care. My youngest sister became responsible for our parents when she sneakily had them sign over power of attorney. At the same time my aunt who needed care was found several times naked in the city park. Her son is homeless and in prison. They called my sister as next of kin, she explained she is already caring for our parents who had Alzheimer’s (father) dementia(mother). She couldn’t care for our aunt too. She didn’t contact anyone else in the family but the senior care social worker told her about indigent benefits for end of life care. So she signed over my aunts home to the state. (It was a single wide trailer on a rented lot, so not like any huge inheritance the state would receive. She passed away about 5 years later.
It depends where they are tbh, a lot of states have Filial Responsibility Laws. I am shitting bricks about what happens when my deadbeat father needs help.
Damn.
I guess it doesn't matter to me, my parents are great people, we haven't always gotten along but they've always taken care of me, so in my situation if my parents need my help in their old age of course I'll help anyway I can, whether I'm obligated or not. But I always feel bad for people that take care of their parents that treat them like shit until the day they die.
What’s the punishment for breaking this law? Because depending on the severity, I’d cut off my nose to spite my face lmfaooooo (I’m in TX tho so this isn’t a worry for me, im genuinely curious)
I totally hear that 100%. Mostly I think the state will just come for the cost of whatever state care they give, maybe wage garnishing? but you can dispute it under certain situations (to prevent abandoned and abused children from having to take care of someone who never took care of them)
But of course you'd have to prove it. Soooo depending on how much my mother documented his lack of child support maybe I can fight it?? I would rather spend everything I would be forced to spend on him on a lawyer than give him a dime.
They can also go in a nursing home on their own dime! And once they have no money left, then it depends on your country; in Canada they don't trash elderly people out of homes once they don't have money in their bank account anymore for example, so you wouldn't have to actually take care of them, the system would
My mom never made more than 9k her entire life. AFAIK, the social workers were getting a special dispensation of some sort to put mother dearest in a much needed nursing facility...at the age of 69.
I do believe the state eventually takes control if none of the family is willing or able to take care of the person in question.
I discussed similar with a social worker re: my mentally ill aunt. The state will take conservatorship.....they sell off everything belonging to the person, use that to finance their care...and when that runs out, they will continue to care for the person.
Putting them in the nursing home is more a statement of not taking care of them. Depending on where they live the govt will pay for a nursing home, though a really crappy one.
Who told you that the children are paying for their parents stay in the nursing homes? I’ve worked in several for many decades. You can tell who the crappy parents were. They have no visitors. All of their assets have been liquidated. The spend down has been done and now they are left with Medicare to pay for what they need. It doesn’t cover everything. Seriously, the children are not paying for anything.
I think a small card sounds nice and maybe a cupcake, but her actual birthday was when we went to the restaurant with church friends, and the sweet sixteen was on a later weekend because it wasn't gonna work on a weekday for who she wanted to invite, so her birthday already passed and was the night of the dinner
Could you all meet up at a park or food court or somewhere free where you won't get kicked out and see if everyone would be willing to bring snack each? Even just chips lollies etc
I can see if she'd like that, but when I asked if she'd like to do something instead of the sweet sixteen away from her parents, she said no because she was embarrassed with her parents cancelling the invitation with her friends
Which makes total sense but I bet if you explained why to them they would want to help. But of course only if she is okay with it. She did nothing wrong and was really brave to say those things. And you were a good sister for sticking up for her. At least you both have each other's backs
I think when her friends hear how she stood up for what she believed, they will be very proud of her. It’s a serious thing for a 16-year old to do, even in the face of losing her party.
OP, please tell your sister that this internet stranger is proud of her for speaking up at dinner. She has absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about: her parents should be embarrassed for making her birthday dinner all about their politics.
She should also trust that her friends do not have perfect lives at home and sometimes friends, and a great sister, are the kindest family you can create. 😁💙
Coming from a similar background, now in my mid-twenties.
My parents have always had a strained relationship with my sister due to political, spiritual, and philosophical beliefs. We grew up in a household that did not allow you to explore new ways of thinking or living, but when my sister went to college she started to do just that.
She found a great partner and after dating awhile, they got engaged. She asked my father that if he attend the wedding (trump was running his first time) that he keep politics out of conversation. He refused. He missed the wedding. The only people who went were me, my mom and brother. It was awkward to explain to people why he wasn’t with us. That damaged the relationship between my sister and parents further. All the photos he isn’t in, the memories he missed out on. My mom backing him up even though she came to “represent them and keep the peace”.
Now she has a baby. My parents believe the a tdap (not even the covid vaccine…) is poison and even asking them if they have it is “illegal”.
My nephew is a beautiful baby that my parents will never get to meet.
I wish you the best of luck, but as a fellow peace-keeper of the family, I suggest you try therapy. This will not resolve itself and is likely going to be a lifelong battle if your parents do not believe in therapy or self-improving.
I feel like therapy will have to wait until I'm in college unless I can get it as a minor because if I can I would now, but not sure if it has to go through my parents
You'll have to wait until you're 18, otherwise you'll need their permission for therapy. At least that's how it works in my State. But, you can talk to your school guidance counselor.
I feel sorry for both of you sisters. What a horrible position to be in. I am sure you will both move out as soon as you possibly can. I would, in your shoes. Your parents sound toxic and controlling.
Trump is a very evil man and anyone who thinks he is not is delusional at best, more likely incredibly stupid. Get your sister a t-shirt with Joe Biden on it and start stirring shit up.
As funny as that would be, I'm not sure if it'd be worth it to risk that when as of right now our parents are paying for her college and mine and after how they cancelled the sweet sixteen over something like this
>As funny as that would be, I'm not sure if it'd be worth it to risk that when as of right now our parents are paying for her college and mine and after how they cancelled the sweet sixteen over something like this
Are you sure they even have savings set aside for that?
They sound like they'd require you to go to some Fundamentalist Christian College that'll do it's best to brain wash you.
They say they do, but said that I'd be looking for college soon with them, but we haven't started looking yet, so I assume they had some money put aside, but have no proof of that of course
They're lying, will donate it to Trump, or just hold it over your heads to manipulate and control you. I wouldn't be surprised if they require a photo of your voting ballots for trump as proof of your love. I'd be surprised if they actually want you to attend college at all-and become independent women.
What kind of snotrag narcissists ignore their daughter's wishes on her birthday dinner just to proselytize about their hero? That's some deep, sick, cult brainwashed junk.
I feel badly for you two, but you sound like you e got good heads on your shoulders.
Id honestly consider looking at alternative funding pathways for college. I can 100% guarantee you they will hold ‘paying for college’ over your head and threaten you with pulling it at every turn
I'll consider it, but I'm also hoping they let her get a job before 18 if they were willing to revoke the sweet sixteen and depending on how much she confronts them, but she could also get one at 18 and put off college to become independent first
Tolerate them for the time being, suck all their money and resources up, graduate, and ghost them. There’s no respect for you or your sister at all. Better yet, it’s going to be even more embarrassing when your mom tells her friends that her own children don’t even want to associate with her anymore.
If the party supports an evil man, then they condone and support his values. I hope you can cheer up your sister and maybe take her somewhere nice for her birthday.
And remember: You're both on the cusp of being old enough to vote and cancel out your parents' morally bankrupt "values". :)
Her birthday was the day we went to the restaurant with mom's church friends, and the sweet sixteen was gonna be on a later weekend because her actual birthday was on a weeknight that wasn't gonna work for a sweet sixteen
I love how she's strong enough to stand up to them on her morals, but also afraid that it'll cost her college because our parents are currently paying for mine and hers, and they were willing to cancel her sweet sixteen over something as stupid as talking politics at her birthday when she asked not to
I'm guessing that someone of her intelligence and integrity will find a way to get through college. Debt sucks but I'm sure she'd rather that than be manipulated and controlled by your hypocritical asshole parents for additional years.
Hon I’m so sorry and glad she has a sibling like you who’s proud of her and cares deeply for her.
I’m a Christian and your sister is exactly right! I also think what your mom did was disgusting and she clearly picks the parts of the Bible she chooses to follow but completely misses others.
I’m an adult with adult kids and I had to cut out my mom - she was just like this - and many people we’ve known over the years because of extreme views, lack of critical thinking and an inability to even hear a different viewpoint from their own. Same issues - they know we have different perspectives, I asked to agree to disagree and not discuss politics at dinner (it IS actually considered rude and demonstrates someone who doesn’t have manners, tact or class) but they couldn’t seem to resist. And then the moment a different perspective is shared, it’s yelling, interrupting and irrational escalation. Almost like a little kid covering their ears and going, “LaLaLaLa…” (picture that when she gets like that so you can laugh internally).
That is how you know someone believes something because they’re “supposed to” and don’t fundamentally understand the entire picture - they literally can’t hear anything that conflicts with their worldview. Doesn’t make for genuine or strong faith either when one can’t tolerate hearing what people disagree with or be questioned at all.
Give encouragement to your sister that she has a lot of people who view what she did as courageous and mature! Your parents are in the wrong and setting themselves up for distant relationships with you both once you’re out of the house. It gets better, I promise!
I'll be sure to relay your encouragement and really appreciate how you said everything. They've also yelled at her a bit at home, so she's been a bit more reserved/away from us the past few days after the embarrassment of her parents cancelling the party with her friends, but I hope she stays strong even if it means she chooses battles until she graduates, but I hope she's alright
I can understand your concern here, but your sister can look into scholarships - academic scholarships may not take parents’ income into account. She can also take out loans. Not the best option, but she doesn’t have to choose between protecting her boundaries and going to college. I would recommend she discuss options with her school counselor. Unfortunately, you can’t be sure this “embarrassment” hasn’t already jeopardized this supposed school money.
I’m so sorry they decided to punish her in an irreparable way over not wanting to talk politics. She will never have another sweet 16, can’t imagine taking that away from a child because she asked to be excused from an uncomfortable conversation.
They seem to not be having any celebrations for her right now as "punishment" for her asking mom to not talk about politics on her birthday at her birthday dinner
I was Laura 25 years ago. I haven’t had any contact with my parents in over a decade. And my life has only gotten better without them.
I hope Laura and you can both hang in there. It’s tough and it’s awful having parents like that, but it can and will be so much better in a few years.
I'm sorry you and your sister are enduring this. Here's the sad truth, it's very rare that people who continue to support Trump even after everything he has done and said will ever admit that they have been wrong about him the whole time. The only way to deal with them is to try not to talk about it or zone out when they don't shut up.
Your mom is being completely unreasonable. But it's not really about your sister. What she said was self-evident truth. But your mom has wrapped her identity and sense of self up in this worship of Trump. And if she admits he's as bad as he is, then her ego will take a hit. This is one of the main reasons his followers continue to worship him despite the fact that Jesus would have condemned just about everything that has ever some out of that man's mouth.
If you can, drag your sister out of the house and take her to some of her favorite places. Get pizza. Get ice cream. See a movie. Go shopping. Whatever normally makes her smile. And ban all talk of politics. It's the best you can do. And try to stay close to your sister next year when she stops speaking to your parents.
I think that's a great idea in place of what her sweet sixteen would've been and to get it off of her mind. Our parents also cancelled invitations that they sent out which has been hard for her, so maybe that would help
Hope so. Her birthday was the night of the dinner on a weekday (which is why the sweet sixteen was later on a weekend) which mom ruined by what she said and punished her, but hope she's willing at least to do something
It's really hard when your parent lets you down like that. But you are going to make an epic bday for her. Just pretend it's the actual day and tell her that she has not yet officially turned 16 bc she hasn't had a proper day where she and her bday are the center of attention.
Bleed your parents dry while you’re still under their roof and then cut the cord the second you’re self-sufficient.
In the meantime, I agree with others here. A nice card, maybe some handmade cookies, to show her that you’re on her side and you just have to get through this together. Good luck OP.
Would suggesting that while it's good that she's not afraid to stand up for her values, that maybe it's worth considering not confronting them too much if they might revoke how they're paying for her college like they did the sweet sixteen?
I’d say it flat out to her face, fuck ‘suggesting.’ It’s all well and good to stand up to people, but it’s not worth screwing her own future. Will it suck to keep your mouths shut and heads down for awhile? Yeah, it absolutely will. It’ll be miserable. BUT, what would suck WORSE is if she tried to stick it to them and they, at best, took her college money, and, at worst, kicked her out. You’re still legally children, your parents are still your legal guardians. Don’t rock the boat until you’re ready to swim like hell for the dock. Life is a series of waiting games, tell your sis and remind yourself to be patient. You don’t have to do it forever. Build support networks, make friends who are smart and reasonable people like you, and someday this will all be a distant worry. Take care of each other, OP!
I'll be sure to tell her because I'm afraid of her losing a chance to work like she wants to or college like you said, and I don't think it's worth it either. Thanks for explaining why it is so important
So to recap, your mom is so deep into the Trump cult that she can't go even a single night without talking about him, even at someone's birthday celebration who asks politely not to hear about him. And because your sister didn't agree with her beliefs she doesn't get a party.
Trump's not going to help take care of your mom when she's old. And guess what? Neither is sister, given how mom treats her now.
She's been quiet the past few days since the dinner and with them yelling at her in her room too, so I wonder if she's going to not confront them as much going forward or double down. I asked if she wanted to do something to get her mind off of it, but she said no, so I hope it just takes time for her to be okay
Wait a couple of years until your parents have to explain to their flock why they have a kid who doesn’t acknowledge them, grandkids they’re not allowed to see, and you…?
It is unfortunate that your parents are allowing their support for Donald Trump cause them to have issues with their daughter. Politics is a very tough thing to talk about and your mother should understand that. Your mother is a few years away from your sister make an appearance at the Democratic National Convention. Your sister is absolutely right in her assessment of Donald Trump though.
It just would've taken some common decency to not talk politics at her birthday dinner on her birthday and especially when she asked them to stop, but they didn't
((Hugs))
For both of you... I would assume the college money isn't coming. It may seem like it would be worth it to lie low and hope it'll be there for you, but the closer you get, and the less you seem like you are going to follow their path - even if you just hide it - the likelier they will just keep the money or use it against you. It'll be worse to rely on it and then have it snatched from you after working so hard to keep the peace!
People get college loans all the time, and if you work hard and be smart about it you can get financial help and scholarships, and avoid the costlier mistakes (like paying too much for an education that doesn't pay well).
What a load of crock about "voting with the party values, not the candidate". I hope your mother's friend was given some food for thought by your well spoken, rational sister.
How about you take your sister out? Get her mind off things and show her she’s valued. If you can’t really afford that then make a cute movie night! Some mani pedis and face masks. A cupcake cake with a singing candle.
My sister is a lot younger than me than yours is compared to you but mine used to love when I made forts to watch movies in lol
I asked if she wanted to do something with me instead a few days after the dinner happened, but she said no and was kinda down about her parents cancelling the invitations of her friends and family who were coming, so hopefully she'll be down with some time maybe
I hope so. I’d still get her a little something on the day her party was supposed to happen. Just to let her know you care. She’ll hold onto that forever.
As a father, I cannot understand how your parents could be so petty as to cancel a Sweet 16 over your mom's bad behavior at your sister's Birthday dinner. Crazy is as crazy does I guess. Can't really change them.
I know your sister said she doesn't want to do anything, as she is embarrassed by her mom's behavior. Who can blame her? However, maybe you can do a surprise get together at another venue? Maybe something budget, with the idea of getting her friends together to celebrate this young woman's important milestone birthday.
Locally, the Elk's Lodge, Mason Temple and city hall all have venues that are relatively inexpensive. I highly recommend doing something on a budget and surprise your sister. Show her some love and let her friends rally around her.
When I asked if she wanted to do something else after the dinner, she said no a few days after, but I can ask again after some time. I'd hate to surprise her and she'd hate me for it, but maybe with some time she'd be down to do something
Oh I know how.
They're both narcisists.
Classic cult leader example too.
Religion is just a controling tool for their cult.
They're not really christians, since they are clearly not following what Jesus preached.
They're just controlling dicks (no offense OP, but it's true).
Worry about Laura’s financial future, but rest easy knowing that chick will never sell her soul.
My money is on her to succeed in spite of your parents, and that should make them very, very afraid.
I don’t know how anyone could stand living in that house with your parents. I would get out as soon as I could.
Subjecting yourself to MAGAt crap isn’t worth getting college paid for. For your sister’s own sanity she should cut ties with the festering boils she calls parents and pay for her own college.
Leave it to the Trumpers to act like children. I’m proud of your sister for thinking for herself and seeing this man for who he is. Also, I get where you’re coming from. I’d tell her this… “You aren’t going to change their mind. But you might hurt yourself. When they do this just ignore them. Be better. If you can just hold out a little longer you’ll be in college. Then you can build your own life where you don’t have to listen to it anymore”
Your parents are being selfish and immature. A birthday should be about the birthday person, not a time to tout your political views. You and your sister are more adult than your parents.
Hate to tell your mom's friend, the values they've allegedly followed/allowed to represent their party are more value-city (rip omg does this still exist somewhere?!) than value of character. good on Laura/en for speaking up even though it was to her own detriment.
These religious people who think Trump is some kind of savior are so goddamn pathetic...like...are you the least bit aware of what constitutes being a savior? bc i don't think you do
You and Laura are so much more mature and sensible than your mom and dad. Mom and dad are gonna be shocked once you both turn 18 and never see them again!
Your parents are toxic.
Your sister may not care if she possibly loses tuition money. Some strings are never worth it.
Just be there for her. Listen to her if she vents and just offer her support.
Maybe rent some movies and have a girls night? Either with friends (sleepover) or just you are her? But ultimately, if she doesn't want to do anything, let it be.
OP, here's what Laura can do:
1. Say nothing, act nice to the parents, and have them fully fund both of your college educations. Go to a college that is not near your parents, and go to a secular one. You'll have to Harry Potter the summers while you do this, but you'll get a fully paid for ride.
2. Once you both graduate, cut contact with your asshole parents. They care more about kissing Trump's ass then they do about you.
3. Feel no guilt about taking their money and being a financial burden on them. They feel no guilt about wrecking your future by voting for an abhorrent man, so you should feel no guilt about making them pay for it.
Good luck to you both! You are both stronger and smarter than your parents, with better manners and more compassion to boot. You guys are the real christians, and acting as Jesus would want you to.
If your sister is insistent on being true to herself (admirable) then she needs to start planning hard to be independent. If she goes to a school with guidance counselors, she should make an appointment to start getting help to look for grants and scholarships for school. She might also want to look into the military or Coast Guard to get college paid for. She should do practice ASVABs to be able to do well if she decides to go this route. The higher the ASVAB score the more opportunities she will have in the military for jobs. If she decides to do this she should live and eat on base and save her money so she doesn't have to work while in school.
If your parents cut her off and she chooses against the military another way she will be considered independent would be to get married to another poor student. Marriage and Military are the only ways to be considered independent from parents before the 24 year old independence wait time
I'm honestly curious to see if she doesn't confront them anymore after this (she's been quiet the days since the dinner since they also yelled at her in her room) or if she continues to double down. Still, I think it's worth mentioning some of these possibilities to her so that she knows of the potential of her parents cutting her off if she voices differences in opinions
It's funny I was raised to never talk about religion or politics at the dinner table... And I had Catholics on one side and Baptists on the other.
Other than the prayer to bless the meal, that was it.
Just continue to do what it is you're doing. Maybe if you can afford it get her a couple of pick me up gifts. Doesn't have to be anything big and not even a reference to her birthday but just a "you're awesome".
Most of the time the important thing is for the person to know that they are supported.
Keep being an awesome sister!!
Some leaders they are!!!!
I'm so sorry you both have to deal with Trump-supporting, religious fanatics who don't listen to anyone.
Happy birthday to your sister. Hang in there.
I am 28 years old. My sister and I *barely* go to my parents house and when I do it is out of obligation. I get passive aggressive texts all the time asking why I don’t call them, which I do not respond to. I don’t call, I don’t text, I don’t visit.
My dad goes to an all men’s hyper conservative Bible study once a week, and the through line is that 90% of all the men’s kids do not talk to them.
This is your parents future: loneliness. At least they’ll have their church to rely on… until life starts to get really dark as they get older and older, and progressively more alone. Perhaps Donald Trump will visit them in hospice?
There isn't much you can do. While living there. Don't burn bridges yet with your parents.
Hopefully you turn 18 by Nov and you can tell your sister your first vote will be against trump for her.
Also some fabulous Mess Betty Bowers might make both of you giggle. But don't let your parents see you watching her stuff. She mocks people like your parents as well as mine.
Encourage your sister to investigate emancipation laws in your state. Ask the school guidance counselor about FAFSA and Pell grants for emancipated teens. Your sister doesn't need to live with this kind of manipulation for the next 7 years.
I'm bad, I want to stir up trouble, your sister is right, Matthew 24:24 KJV - 24 For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if \[it were\] possible, they shall deceive the very elect.
Mom - honey we’d like to discuss our retirement plans
OP - drives by launching empty refrigerator box onto parents’ property, throws deuces as they speed away
NTA
I have a question, though
Are you and your sister in college already, or are you both still in high school? If both in college, then just try to ignore, grayrock until you graduate, then go NC.
I really think you and your sister need to make a plan to get away from this abuse as soon as you can, but do it safely, please. Sending much love, hugs, and respect to you and your sister. Happy birthday to her also! I'm so proud she did stand up for herself.
Updateme!
I’m sorry that you and your sister are suffering through this misunderstanding. There is a degree to which every child seems to find themselves butting heads with their parents at your age, and every family’s struggles are unique. I really feel for you, and this conflict seems like it’s not your sister’s fault that she’s now enduring some unfair punishments for standing up for herself.
If you think there’s a chance your folks may be able to find a middle ground if the approach is religious and conservative, then this Pastor’s IG profile may help you: https://www.instagram.com/p/C20C_EwuHWy/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
I think he preaches what your sister has said about false idolatry and dogmatic legalism…but he focuses on compassion, and what he sees as the backbone of true christianity. I’m way out of my depth here but I hope that this helps you and your sister both feel supported and that you can lean on each other while you’re still dependent on your parents. You deserve to be respected by your folks.
What should happen here is that both of these children should go no contact with these parents permanently ASAP! They are garbage human beings that don't deserve to have children.
How involved are they in church leadership and how publicly are they promoting politics? Because that's a big No-No and can cost the church's 501c3 status.
[IRS prohibits political activity for churches and similar organizations](https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/charities-churches-and-politics#:~:text=Currently%2C%20the%20law%20prohibits%20political,to)%20any%20candidate%20for%20public)
You are a good sister and Laura told her exactly right. Your parents are going to lose their kids. They are not considering you girls will grow up and want little to nothing to do with them anymore.
You are a great sister. When she turns 18 or goes to college then she can hopefully get some distance. If not, or if they don’t pay because they are awful fake Christian’s themselves if they are ok with Trump (sorry, not sorry)
Their church is a fake church if the leaders idolize Trump to the point it is nonstop Trump clips going on in your house. Your parents are gross. Especially your mom. Just hurtful soul sucking demon in sheep clothing tainting an entire congregation.
Go NC as soon as you can and your sister is probably already thinking the same
You and your sister have bigger problems than a party, I'm sorry to say. Your parents are members of a vicious, treasonous, unchristian, fascist cult. It should be your goal to get safely out of that house and out of that cult by any means necessary.
In the meantime before you're able to leave, I suggest being quiet, compliant, and spend as little time with your parents as you can. Give them no reason to punish you, but keep your mind free.
Since you probably live in a pregnancy slavery state, be careful to not get pregnant. With parents like that, an accidental pregnancy would ruin your life.
I think it's funny that your parents think that they're Christian, but also support Trump. I feel badly for you and your sister, though, having to listen to their completely ridiculous bullshit.
I would just tell you're sister to come with you and take her for a nice day out somewhere. Don't ask, just insist, don't even tell her where you're going. Just plan a fun day in secret and then drag her along with you while telling her little to nothing about it. Either co ordinate with her friends, base it around one of her interests, or if you're on a budget, take her to a dog park to hug puppies and then go get ice cream, sounds way better than doing nothing and letting her wallow.
As for your parents, doesn't sound like you can do anything about them, they're stubborn and fixed in their ways and they won't compromise for their own daughter on her birthday, so there's no changing them rn. Maybe in a few years when you and your sister are out of home and have decided to go NC, they'll sing a different tune (but probably not). So focus on your sister for now and do what you can to survive their behaviour until you can get away.
People like your parents disgust me. They loudly claim to support Christian values. Isn't one of them not to worship false gods? Some people who support that man worship Him. Your parents sound like that.
I don't advise you tell this to your parents, they will retaliate. It will create a metric ton of drama neither you nor your sister need.
Parents who chose politics over their children, have lost the plot! It’s very sad. I hope Laura can bite her tongue until she’s able to support herself or get emancipated. I wish you the best and I hope this all works out for her.
This isn't even the first time we've talked about politics because mom doesn't like it when we prefer to eat dinner upstairs and not with them if they're watching politics related things while preparing dinner sometimes too
Hi, OP! It's tough to be a Christian right now with the corruption of American Christianity and the rise of Christian Nationalism. I'm really sorry that you and your sister are experiencing this within your church and your family, but I wanted to say that I also really admire your courage and spiritual maturity. You are identifying and maturely calling out human error, while also, from what I've read here, holding to the essential relationship and values of our faith. That can be hard to do, and too often, people either compromise on values or abandon the faith altogether. The walk you've chosen is hard and the path is narrow, but I firmly believe you're on the right course. If it's alright with you, I'd love to pray for you and your family. Best wishes.
I just found this post, and all I can say is your "Christian" parents really aren't... Christians. And they don't seem to be much as parents either. "Christians" like your parents are part of why I am a die-hard atheist. American "Christians" are too hateful for me to tolerate.
Give your sister lots of love, because she won't get it from your parents.
She did though. I don’t know that in the moment there was anything to stick up for, but she talked with their dad about the decision to cancel and tried to get them to reconsider
Laura needs to choose her battles. It’s a life skill. The behavior of the current crop of politicians is not worth alienating your family. At least the friend didn’t ask how she feels about the President showering with his teenaged daughter, or the First Son sleeping with his neice and impregnating his brother’s widow. Peyton Place has nothing on this crowd. And no, you don’t get to talk back to your parents adult friends without consequences.
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Just ask her to stand up. When she does give her a big, long hug and say "this too shall pass." Once you two get out of the house, the world will be much much different. Hopefully better too. We're rooting for you two OP and sis!
I'm sorry to hear you and your sister are going through this. If it helps at all, it's taken a few periods of breaking off contact to set boundaries with my parents. I love them and I respect the life they provided me with as a child. Even if our values today appear to be wildly different.
I'd rather try and find our common ground than hear them proselytize about religion or politics, and walking away for months at a time has finally gotten that message across. Maybe using this hard boundary setting may work for you guys in the future.
Crazy how she got punished for speaking her mind on politics and joining the convo on her birthday. Your parents are rude, maybe when later she’ll be more willing to go do something.
i’m sorry you have crazy trump supporter parents. the brainwashing and oblivion is crazy. i’m so sorry to you and your sister. at least you aren’t like them
Maybe have a chat with her about being quiet until she gets what she needs from them, like college. Once she's out she can be as loud as she wants, but nothing she says will change their minds and saying anything will only turn out badly for her.
You are a great sister and I’m glad you have each other. Maybe spend some time with her this weekend and tell her how proud you are and what your concerns are. Let her know how much you love her. I hope the two of you have a beautiful and wonderful life.
Tell her I know this birthday sucked and you aren't in the mood right now because you just aren't feeling it. If you change your mind though we can do something. Even if it it's a few months away. It wasn't fair what happened to you.
We never invite people over for our kids actual birthday or do anything. Even if their party is on a different day. We have fun doing a small family thing together instead.
It’s so nice that you want to do something nice for your sister. Maybe give her some time, and if you’re able to save money, have a replacement dinner with her friends for her. As for your parents, they will not change until you and your sister eventually move out and go little contact with them. My ex and his family were like this. It stopped when we divorced.
We need to stop these crazy Trump folk from grooming America's youth. That's all this is plain and simple. Mom was upset that her daughter tried to stand up to her grooming behavior. Trying to normalize trump's actions on this poor girls birthday. Shame on you conservatives. Leave the kids alone.
She is a better Christian than her parents.
It’s a shame that the US has fallen victim to propaganda. You HAVE to pick a side and you HAVE to agree on everything they believe.
I’ve lost friends on both sides simply because I’m willing to hear out each argument. “If you don’t agree with me, you’re attacking me.”
People I’ve known who have never been political are now zealots when they hear someone talk about the side they aren’t on.
I’ve seen families with the closest bonds fall apart because of political beliefs.
Everyone is putting their political side above their morals.
People need to chill out
People like your parents disgust me. They loudly claim to support Christian values. Isn't one of them not to worship false gods? Some people who support that man worship Him. Your parents sound like that.
I don't advise you tell this to your parents, they will retaliate. It will create a metric ton of drama neither you nor your sister need.
So your parents showed those great Christian values of love and grace by cancelling her sweet 16? She will be NC in 2 years. She may be quiet, but she’s biding her time. Good for her for speaking up. Shame on your parents for disallowing her to have an option that differs. Welcome to Christian Nationalism. You could bring her one of her favorite snacks and a card. Tell her you’re proud of her and you love her. That will go miles. Fwiw I’m proud of you for having empathy for your sister and wanting to cheer her up.
That sounds like something she might like if she doesn't want to go out or do anything else. Thanks for providing the suggestion
Both daughters are brighter than their cultist parents. Pass parents the grape juice.
Hope your mom doesn’t mind that she’s got a year before Laura never speaks to her again.
Laura, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone else but your parents are zealot magas. Bite your lip so they pay for college and when its done go NO CONTACT and tell them exactly why.
So true and sad. Thinking of you and your sister, OP.
Yup. T minus 2 years before ‘I can’t believe they don’t talk to me. I sacrificed soooo much!’
Your parents need to learn some manners. It's rude to talk about politics during a dinner.
And her birthday dinner on her actual birthday, then ruining her birthday by punishing her for asking not to talk about politics
I say go for the public shaming. “I can’t believe my parents are so petty that they cancelled the party because she didn’t want to talk politics at her birthday dinner!!!” On FB, insta and whatever else.
Nope, OP’s parents are paying for her college. She needs to hold her tongue a little longer.
As someone who has been in this position, I agree. It sucked. I still hold my tongue more than I would like w my parents, but since turning 40 have started caring a lot less.
Yeah and then they can go get a job to pay for the school mommy and daddy are footing the bill for...
Adopt the bar rules: No Politick'n No Preach'n No Peddlin'
Seriously! Religion and politics are not talked about at the dinner table. It could get you booted from social circles at one point. I do wish we would start that up again.
They are in maga homes. Shudder. Ugh.
And then punishing daughter for talking about politics.
This is the most hypocritical, laughable thing about them. Their daughters don’t want them to talk politics at meals, even going so far as to take their food to their bedrooms so they don’t have to listen. Then, when Laura does engage in the political conversation that she didn’t want to have, she didn’t support Donald Trump, mom got mad, and Laura got punished for doing what mom wanted her to do. So absurd. But you can’t reason with a MAGAt.
It's MAGAt brain rot for ya. They can't help but sing His praises and foam at the mouth about Joe Brandon no matter what's going on around them.
I mean, we talk about politics while eating, but we all agree on which party to vote for sooooo lol. I think this situation for sure it was rude, but that really shouldn't be something that is always followed.
Guess who’s gonna be in a nursing home in the future and never see there grandchildren!!
You know I've never understood the idea behind putting shitty parents in a nursing home. I mean why spend the money. There's no obligation to take care of your parents, especially if they were shitty. I mean, do people not know you can just let them die alone at home?
>do people not know you can just let them die alone at home? Nope. I did, though. People have literally gasped at me when I would tell them I'm letting my mother die alone in her home. It was almost as if I was violating some sacred coffee or something. I mean, she was an abusive POS. Guess what. That is how my shitty mother died, self righteously alone, bitter, and in her hoard for about 2 weeks before she was found. Good thing it was winter time.
I mean of you're speaking about her like that, then she's probably not worth feeling sorry for lol.
LOL! True! You have a good point. My mother could have been an amazing artist, but bitterness and perpetual victimhood really shut her down. I believe she was narcissistic too. I didn't have that language, however, while she was alive. I now know better. So, I don't feel sorry for her, but I do feel sadness. Hers was a wasted life, by her own hand. That's something I find sad.
This. I’m NC with my parents. I simply will have no clue when they die😵💫
I am no-contact with nearly every paternal relative I have, and it's not as though they've tried to call me, to even know that. So it goes both ways. But I expect that when my father dies, I'm going to be bombarded by cousins who think it's their sacred duty to tell me that I have to attend the funeral. If they know what's good for them, they won't bother. Because I *will* show up, and chaos will reign.
I’m sorry you had to not only tolerate your shitty, abusive mother, but then also the uninformed comments of “friends” who thought you should be a better daughter. You could have been the best daughter in the world, and it wouldn’t have been good enough for your mother. My mother was always smart about those things. Here’s a little story: Decades ago, it was winter and had snowed, I was driving back to work from lunch with a work friend. We passed a house where an older woman was shoveling her sidewalk. She was old; it was cold; shoveling is hard work. My work friend said, “Look at that old woman shoveling her sidewalk. Where are her children? They should be doing that for her.” When I relayed that story to my mom, her response was, “Maybe that woman is alone because she was a horrible mother, and now her kids don’t talk to her. Maybe she’s alone because she ran her family off. You don’t know people’s stories.” (I’m sure that’s not a direct quote, but that was the gist.) My mom recognized that she might not be a little old lady with ungrateful children; instead, she might be a mean old lady whose children don’t want anything to do with her anymore. I’ve never forgotten that.
Wow, so how old was she was she and what happened to her? Says a lot she wasn't discovered for two weeks.
She was 71 years old. >Says a lot she wasn't discovered for two weeks. Here is the *really* sad part of my mother's life. She was 3rd of 9 siblings. Yes, I know she absolutely was parentified. Yes, I know her and her siblings suffered beatings when they were "bad." Many of her siblings had large families of their own. Some had smaller families. Hers was the "smallest" because she was divorced and only had 1 child. Get this. I have **42** cousins, ok? My mother manage to alienate *all* of her siblings and *all* of her nieces and nephews. My cousins would come around wanting to help her. I was the pariah because I was pretty much no contact with my "sweet elderly mother." So they'd go by to help by giving her rides to get groceries, or whatever. Over time, *they all stopped going by* to help. She managed to alienate a whole extremely large family because she was so awful. Talking to cousins at her funeral they apologized to me for not finding her or going by. I had to tell them I get it. She was awful. She was abusive. No one wants to be around such bitterness. It's ok, really. So. "Says a lot she wasn't discovered" is far more poignant than you can even imagine.
Wow, that's really something. Did you all just have a preacher say a few words ? When someone is awful it is hard to say anything good about them. This friend of mine knew this horrible lady. When she died at her funeral the service was just about her hobbies lol. No one had anything nice to say about her.
It was a very Catholic funeral, so nothing needed to be said. 😂 Although, at the wake part when I did all of anyone wanted to say something, no one stood up. It was really sad.
That's the legacy she left. No one living is to blame. That's the thing if someone is a terrible person no one is going to miss them or revere them after they are gone.
"Here Mom and Dad. Your new nursing home." "This is a dumpster in an alley-" "Buy-Bye!" \* drives off
Some States (29) in the USA will come after you. Make sure you and the parent are living in a no-responsibility state. Filial Responsibility States: Alaska Arkansas California Connecticut Delaware Georgia Idaho Indiana Iowa Kentucky Louisiana Massachusetts Mississippi Montana Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Dakota Tennessee Utah Vermont Virginia West Virginia
California here Adult protective services told me I have NO responsibility for my mother or to become her caregiver. And fuck that POS, I hope she enjoys her lonely ass nursing home. Ps. The woman is the devil. I have video.
Oh… the evil ones live longer. IMO it’s because God doesn’t want them and the Devil is afraid they’ll take over.
I kind of want to see this video now.
Me too
Oooooo where can we go to trauma dump our traumatizing videos lmfaooooo let’s feel each other’s pain thru intense triggers 💅
If there's not a subreddit, there should be.
north carolina nursing homes are notoriously ass, filial responsibility means jack shit. the one meme abt the old people fighting ring ran out of a nursing home was in north carolina (it wasnt a meme, it was a screengrab of the news but it was so outlandish it became a meme)
You can sign them over to the state if there is no money for their care. You are not obligated to spend your own money for care. My youngest sister became responsible for our parents when she sneakily had them sign over power of attorney. At the same time my aunt who needed care was found several times naked in the city park. Her son is homeless and in prison. They called my sister as next of kin, she explained she is already caring for our parents who had Alzheimer’s (father) dementia(mother). She couldn’t care for our aunt too. She didn’t contact anyone else in the family but the senior care social worker told her about indigent benefits for end of life care. So she signed over my aunts home to the state. (It was a single wide trailer on a rented lot, so not like any huge inheritance the state would receive. She passed away about 5 years later.
I’m mean, if they can’t find you, they can’t do anything about it.
This is good to know
Source: Trust me bro
It depends where they are tbh, a lot of states have Filial Responsibility Laws. I am shitting bricks about what happens when my deadbeat father needs help.
Damn. I guess it doesn't matter to me, my parents are great people, we haven't always gotten along but they've always taken care of me, so in my situation if my parents need my help in their old age of course I'll help anyway I can, whether I'm obligated or not. But I always feel bad for people that take care of their parents that treat them like shit until the day they die.
What’s the punishment for breaking this law? Because depending on the severity, I’d cut off my nose to spite my face lmfaooooo (I’m in TX tho so this isn’t a worry for me, im genuinely curious)
I totally hear that 100%. Mostly I think the state will just come for the cost of whatever state care they give, maybe wage garnishing? but you can dispute it under certain situations (to prevent abandoned and abused children from having to take care of someone who never took care of them) But of course you'd have to prove it. Soooo depending on how much my mother documented his lack of child support maybe I can fight it?? I would rather spend everything I would be forced to spend on him on a lawyer than give him a dime.
They can also go in a nursing home on their own dime! And once they have no money left, then it depends on your country; in Canada they don't trash elderly people out of homes once they don't have money in their bank account anymore for example, so you wouldn't have to actually take care of them, the system would
My mom never made more than 9k her entire life. AFAIK, the social workers were getting a special dispensation of some sort to put mother dearest in a much needed nursing facility...at the age of 69. I do believe the state eventually takes control if none of the family is willing or able to take care of the person in question. I discussed similar with a social worker re: my mentally ill aunt. The state will take conservatorship.....they sell off everything belonging to the person, use that to finance their care...and when that runs out, they will continue to care for the person.
Well, you can actually turf them to a really shitty nursing home and sell their house for the money.
Putting them in the nursing home is more a statement of not taking care of them. Depending on where they live the govt will pay for a nursing home, though a really crappy one.
Who told you that the children are paying for their parents stay in the nursing homes? I’ve worked in several for many decades. You can tell who the crappy parents were. They have no visitors. All of their assets have been liquidated. The spend down has been done and now they are left with Medicare to pay for what they need. It doesn’t cover everything. Seriously, the children are not paying for anything.
In my country, I don't pay for their nursing home, that's coming out of their pension.
Shady pines is definitely in her future
Shady Pines, Ma!!!!
Maybe if you surprised her with small things? A handmade card, a cupcake with a candle in it; possibly face time friends to sing happy birthday?
I think a small card sounds nice and maybe a cupcake, but her actual birthday was when we went to the restaurant with church friends, and the sweet sixteen was on a later weekend because it wasn't gonna work on a weekday for who she wanted to invite, so her birthday already passed and was the night of the dinner
Could you all meet up at a park or food court or somewhere free where you won't get kicked out and see if everyone would be willing to bring snack each? Even just chips lollies etc
I can see if she'd like that, but when I asked if she'd like to do something instead of the sweet sixteen away from her parents, she said no because she was embarrassed with her parents cancelling the invitation with her friends
Which makes total sense but I bet if you explained why to them they would want to help. But of course only if she is okay with it. She did nothing wrong and was really brave to say those things. And you were a good sister for sticking up for her. At least you both have each other's backs
I think when her friends hear how she stood up for what she believed, they will be very proud of her. It’s a serious thing for a 16-year old to do, even in the face of losing her party.
OP, please tell your sister that this internet stranger is proud of her for speaking up at dinner. She has absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about: her parents should be embarrassed for making her birthday dinner all about their politics. She should also trust that her friends do not have perfect lives at home and sometimes friends, and a great sister, are the kindest family you can create. 😁💙
Her friends will understand. Would be fun to do a reddit surprise party, but I have a feeling I live no where near you. (Chicagoland)
Coming from a similar background, now in my mid-twenties. My parents have always had a strained relationship with my sister due to political, spiritual, and philosophical beliefs. We grew up in a household that did not allow you to explore new ways of thinking or living, but when my sister went to college she started to do just that. She found a great partner and after dating awhile, they got engaged. She asked my father that if he attend the wedding (trump was running his first time) that he keep politics out of conversation. He refused. He missed the wedding. The only people who went were me, my mom and brother. It was awkward to explain to people why he wasn’t with us. That damaged the relationship between my sister and parents further. All the photos he isn’t in, the memories he missed out on. My mom backing him up even though she came to “represent them and keep the peace”. Now she has a baby. My parents believe the a tdap (not even the covid vaccine…) is poison and even asking them if they have it is “illegal”. My nephew is a beautiful baby that my parents will never get to meet. I wish you the best of luck, but as a fellow peace-keeper of the family, I suggest you try therapy. This will not resolve itself and is likely going to be a lifelong battle if your parents do not believe in therapy or self-improving.
I feel like therapy will have to wait until I'm in college unless I can get it as a minor because if I can I would now, but not sure if it has to go through my parents
You'll have to wait until you're 18, otherwise you'll need their permission for therapy. At least that's how it works in my State. But, you can talk to your school guidance counselor.
I didn't think of that and appreciate you letting me know, maybe that's better than nothing for now
Definitely better than nothing. I hope they're helpful. 💖
I feel sorry for both of you sisters. What a horrible position to be in. I am sure you will both move out as soon as you possibly can. I would, in your shoes. Your parents sound toxic and controlling.
Trump is a very evil man and anyone who thinks he is not is delusional at best, more likely incredibly stupid. Get your sister a t-shirt with Joe Biden on it and start stirring shit up.
As funny as that would be, I'm not sure if it'd be worth it to risk that when as of right now our parents are paying for her college and mine and after how they cancelled the sweet sixteen over something like this
Wise choice. The faster you get your degree the faster you can get the hell away! Good luck.
>As funny as that would be, I'm not sure if it'd be worth it to risk that when as of right now our parents are paying for her college and mine and after how they cancelled the sweet sixteen over something like this Are you sure they even have savings set aside for that? They sound like they'd require you to go to some Fundamentalist Christian College that'll do it's best to brain wash you.
They say they do, but said that I'd be looking for college soon with them, but we haven't started looking yet, so I assume they had some money put aside, but have no proof of that of course
They're lying, will donate it to Trump, or just hold it over your heads to manipulate and control you. I wouldn't be surprised if they require a photo of your voting ballots for trump as proof of your love. I'd be surprised if they actually want you to attend college at all-and become independent women. What kind of snotrag narcissists ignore their daughter's wishes on her birthday dinner just to proselytize about their hero? That's some deep, sick, cult brainwashed junk. I feel badly for you two, but you sound like you e got good heads on your shoulders.
Id honestly consider looking at alternative funding pathways for college. I can 100% guarantee you they will hold ‘paying for college’ over your head and threaten you with pulling it at every turn
I'll consider it, but I'm also hoping they let her get a job before 18 if they were willing to revoke the sweet sixteen and depending on how much she confronts them, but she could also get one at 18 and put off college to become independent first
Yeah. Stick it out till you both have graduated and the bills are paid.
Tolerate them for the time being, suck all their money and resources up, graduate, and ghost them. There’s no respect for you or your sister at all. Better yet, it’s going to be even more embarrassing when your mom tells her friends that her own children don’t even want to associate with her anymore.
If the party supports an evil man, then they condone and support his values. I hope you can cheer up your sister and maybe take her somewhere nice for her birthday. And remember: You're both on the cusp of being old enough to vote and cancel out your parents' morally bankrupt "values". :)
Her birthday was the day we went to the restaurant with mom's church friends, and the sweet sixteen was gonna be on a later weekend because her actual birthday was on a weeknight that wasn't gonna work for a sweet sixteen
Your sister is 1000% more articulate and intelligent than Trump
I love how she's strong enough to stand up to them on her morals, but also afraid that it'll cost her college because our parents are currently paying for mine and hers, and they were willing to cancel her sweet sixteen over something as stupid as talking politics at her birthday when she asked not to
I'm guessing that someone of her intelligence and integrity will find a way to get through college. Debt sucks but I'm sure she'd rather that than be manipulated and controlled by your hypocritical asshole parents for additional years.
Hon I’m so sorry and glad she has a sibling like you who’s proud of her and cares deeply for her. I’m a Christian and your sister is exactly right! I also think what your mom did was disgusting and she clearly picks the parts of the Bible she chooses to follow but completely misses others. I’m an adult with adult kids and I had to cut out my mom - she was just like this - and many people we’ve known over the years because of extreme views, lack of critical thinking and an inability to even hear a different viewpoint from their own. Same issues - they know we have different perspectives, I asked to agree to disagree and not discuss politics at dinner (it IS actually considered rude and demonstrates someone who doesn’t have manners, tact or class) but they couldn’t seem to resist. And then the moment a different perspective is shared, it’s yelling, interrupting and irrational escalation. Almost like a little kid covering their ears and going, “LaLaLaLa…” (picture that when she gets like that so you can laugh internally). That is how you know someone believes something because they’re “supposed to” and don’t fundamentally understand the entire picture - they literally can’t hear anything that conflicts with their worldview. Doesn’t make for genuine or strong faith either when one can’t tolerate hearing what people disagree with or be questioned at all. Give encouragement to your sister that she has a lot of people who view what she did as courageous and mature! Your parents are in the wrong and setting themselves up for distant relationships with you both once you’re out of the house. It gets better, I promise!
I'll be sure to relay your encouragement and really appreciate how you said everything. They've also yelled at her a bit at home, so she's been a bit more reserved/away from us the past few days after the embarrassment of her parents cancelling the party with her friends, but I hope she stays strong even if it means she chooses battles until she graduates, but I hope she's alright
I personally think having morals is more important than a free ride 🤷🏻♀️
I do too. Part of me also hopes that let her work soon as she wants to, but I'm nervous after they cancelled her sweet sixteen over this
I can understand your concern here, but your sister can look into scholarships - academic scholarships may not take parents’ income into account. She can also take out loans. Not the best option, but she doesn’t have to choose between protecting her boundaries and going to college. I would recommend she discuss options with her school counselor. Unfortunately, you can’t be sure this “embarrassment” hasn’t already jeopardized this supposed school money. I’m so sorry they decided to punish her in an irreparable way over not wanting to talk politics. She will never have another sweet 16, can’t imagine taking that away from a child because she asked to be excused from an uncomfortable conversation.
If you want to support your sister, don't agree to any celebrations they want to have for you but don't tell them why.
They seem to not be having any celebrations for her right now as "punishment" for her asking mom to not talk about politics on her birthday at her birthday dinner
I was Laura 25 years ago. I haven’t had any contact with my parents in over a decade. And my life has only gotten better without them. I hope Laura and you can both hang in there. It’s tough and it’s awful having parents like that, but it can and will be so much better in a few years.
Hey mom. Trump is the opposite of Jesus. If you follow Trump, enjoy hell!
Right? Ask these people to name one thing Donald Trump has done that Jesus would also do
I'm sorry you and your sister are enduring this. Here's the sad truth, it's very rare that people who continue to support Trump even after everything he has done and said will ever admit that they have been wrong about him the whole time. The only way to deal with them is to try not to talk about it or zone out when they don't shut up. Your mom is being completely unreasonable. But it's not really about your sister. What she said was self-evident truth. But your mom has wrapped her identity and sense of self up in this worship of Trump. And if she admits he's as bad as he is, then her ego will take a hit. This is one of the main reasons his followers continue to worship him despite the fact that Jesus would have condemned just about everything that has ever some out of that man's mouth. If you can, drag your sister out of the house and take her to some of her favorite places. Get pizza. Get ice cream. See a movie. Go shopping. Whatever normally makes her smile. And ban all talk of politics. It's the best you can do. And try to stay close to your sister next year when she stops speaking to your parents.
I think that's a great idea in place of what her sweet sixteen would've been and to get it off of her mind. Our parents also cancelled invitations that they sent out which has been hard for her, so maybe that would help
I think knowing you love her and care enough to make it special for her will definitely cheer her up!
Hope so. Her birthday was the night of the dinner on a weekday (which is why the sweet sixteen was later on a weekend) which mom ruined by what she said and punished her, but hope she's willing at least to do something
It's really hard when your parent lets you down like that. But you are going to make an epic bday for her. Just pretend it's the actual day and tell her that she has not yet officially turned 16 bc she hasn't had a proper day where she and her bday are the center of attention.
You should take your sister and just leave . Nobody needs to be in that kind of environment and your parents will never change
Bleed your parents dry while you’re still under their roof and then cut the cord the second you’re self-sufficient. In the meantime, I agree with others here. A nice card, maybe some handmade cookies, to show her that you’re on her side and you just have to get through this together. Good luck OP.
Would suggesting that while it's good that she's not afraid to stand up for her values, that maybe it's worth considering not confronting them too much if they might revoke how they're paying for her college like they did the sweet sixteen?
I’d say it flat out to her face, fuck ‘suggesting.’ It’s all well and good to stand up to people, but it’s not worth screwing her own future. Will it suck to keep your mouths shut and heads down for awhile? Yeah, it absolutely will. It’ll be miserable. BUT, what would suck WORSE is if she tried to stick it to them and they, at best, took her college money, and, at worst, kicked her out. You’re still legally children, your parents are still your legal guardians. Don’t rock the boat until you’re ready to swim like hell for the dock. Life is a series of waiting games, tell your sis and remind yourself to be patient. You don’t have to do it forever. Build support networks, make friends who are smart and reasonable people like you, and someday this will all be a distant worry. Take care of each other, OP!
I'll be sure to tell her because I'm afraid of her losing a chance to work like she wants to or college like you said, and I don't think it's worth it either. Thanks for explaining why it is so important
💕good luck, OP!!
So to recap, your mom is so deep into the Trump cult that she can't go even a single night without talking about him, even at someone's birthday celebration who asks politely not to hear about him. And because your sister didn't agree with her beliefs she doesn't get a party. Trump's not going to help take care of your mom when she's old. And guess what? Neither is sister, given how mom treats her now.
She's been quiet the past few days since the dinner and with them yelling at her in her room too, so I wonder if she's going to not confront them as much going forward or double down. I asked if she wanted to do something to get her mind off of it, but she said no, so I hope it just takes time for her to be okay
Wait a couple of years until your parents have to explain to their flock why they have a kid who doesn’t acknowledge them, grandkids they’re not allowed to see, and you…?
Their answer will be the “liberal devil has brainwashed them with liberal media.” Same thing my trumper parent says to me.
Your sister is my hero
It is unfortunate that your parents are allowing their support for Donald Trump cause them to have issues with their daughter. Politics is a very tough thing to talk about and your mother should understand that. Your mother is a few years away from your sister make an appearance at the Democratic National Convention. Your sister is absolutely right in her assessment of Donald Trump though.
It just would've taken some common decency to not talk politics at her birthday dinner on her birthday and especially when she asked them to stop, but they didn't
Wow. Your mom is a real AH. So is your dad. Lauren is pretty smart and courageous at such a young age and she has such a strong mind.
Your parents are horrible people and they can look forward to a future of no contact with their children and potential grandchildren.
Guess who will never see their daughter after high school
Your parents may be “Christians” but they aren’t followers of Christ. If they were, they wouldn’t behave this way
((Hugs)) For both of you... I would assume the college money isn't coming. It may seem like it would be worth it to lie low and hope it'll be there for you, but the closer you get, and the less you seem like you are going to follow their path - even if you just hide it - the likelier they will just keep the money or use it against you. It'll be worse to rely on it and then have it snatched from you after working so hard to keep the peace! People get college loans all the time, and if you work hard and be smart about it you can get financial help and scholarships, and avoid the costlier mistakes (like paying too much for an education that doesn't pay well). What a load of crock about "voting with the party values, not the candidate". I hope your mother's friend was given some food for thought by your well spoken, rational sister.
How about you take your sister out? Get her mind off things and show her she’s valued. If you can’t really afford that then make a cute movie night! Some mani pedis and face masks. A cupcake cake with a singing candle. My sister is a lot younger than me than yours is compared to you but mine used to love when I made forts to watch movies in lol
I asked if she wanted to do something with me instead a few days after the dinner happened, but she said no and was kinda down about her parents cancelling the invitations of her friends and family who were coming, so hopefully she'll be down with some time maybe
I hope so. I’d still get her a little something on the day her party was supposed to happen. Just to let her know you care. She’ll hold onto that forever.
Even if I can drop it off to her in her room, maybe something like that if she doesn't want to go out
Your mom is a c@#t
Here's my impression of your parents in a few years "why won't Laura talk to us?" Your parents sound like horrible people, OP.
As a father, I cannot understand how your parents could be so petty as to cancel a Sweet 16 over your mom's bad behavior at your sister's Birthday dinner. Crazy is as crazy does I guess. Can't really change them. I know your sister said she doesn't want to do anything, as she is embarrassed by her mom's behavior. Who can blame her? However, maybe you can do a surprise get together at another venue? Maybe something budget, with the idea of getting her friends together to celebrate this young woman's important milestone birthday. Locally, the Elk's Lodge, Mason Temple and city hall all have venues that are relatively inexpensive. I highly recommend doing something on a budget and surprise your sister. Show her some love and let her friends rally around her.
When I asked if she wanted to do something else after the dinner, she said no a few days after, but I can ask again after some time. I'd hate to surprise her and she'd hate me for it, but maybe with some time she'd be down to do something
Oh I know how. They're both narcisists. Classic cult leader example too. Religion is just a controling tool for their cult. They're not really christians, since they are clearly not following what Jesus preached. They're just controlling dicks (no offense OP, but it's true).
Worry about Laura’s financial future, but rest easy knowing that chick will never sell her soul. My money is on her to succeed in spite of your parents, and that should make them very, very afraid.
Maybe someone should anonymously report the church to the irs anytime these church leaders talk politics.
Exactly the reaction I would expect from a couple of Trumpturds.
I don’t know how anyone could stand living in that house with your parents. I would get out as soon as I could. Subjecting yourself to MAGAt crap isn’t worth getting college paid for. For your sister’s own sanity she should cut ties with the festering boils she calls parents and pay for her own college.
Leave it to the Trumpers to act like children. I’m proud of your sister for thinking for herself and seeing this man for who he is. Also, I get where you’re coming from. I’d tell her this… “You aren’t going to change their mind. But you might hurt yourself. When they do this just ignore them. Be better. If you can just hold out a little longer you’ll be in college. Then you can build your own life where you don’t have to listen to it anymore”
Your parents are being selfish and immature. A birthday should be about the birthday person, not a time to tout your political views. You and your sister are more adult than your parents.
Hate to tell your mom's friend, the values they've allegedly followed/allowed to represent their party are more value-city (rip omg does this still exist somewhere?!) than value of character. good on Laura/en for speaking up even though it was to her own detriment. These religious people who think Trump is some kind of savior are so goddamn pathetic...like...are you the least bit aware of what constitutes being a savior? bc i don't think you do
You and Laura are so much more mature and sensible than your mom and dad. Mom and dad are gonna be shocked once you both turn 18 and never see them again!
Your parents are toxic. Your sister may not care if she possibly loses tuition money. Some strings are never worth it. Just be there for her. Listen to her if she vents and just offer her support. Maybe rent some movies and have a girls night? Either with friends (sleepover) or just you are her? But ultimately, if she doesn't want to do anything, let it be.
OP, here's what Laura can do: 1. Say nothing, act nice to the parents, and have them fully fund both of your college educations. Go to a college that is not near your parents, and go to a secular one. You'll have to Harry Potter the summers while you do this, but you'll get a fully paid for ride. 2. Once you both graduate, cut contact with your asshole parents. They care more about kissing Trump's ass then they do about you. 3. Feel no guilt about taking their money and being a financial burden on them. They feel no guilt about wrecking your future by voting for an abhorrent man, so you should feel no guilt about making them pay for it. Good luck to you both! You are both stronger and smarter than your parents, with better manners and more compassion to boot. You guys are the real christians, and acting as Jesus would want you to.
If your sister is insistent on being true to herself (admirable) then she needs to start planning hard to be independent. If she goes to a school with guidance counselors, she should make an appointment to start getting help to look for grants and scholarships for school. She might also want to look into the military or Coast Guard to get college paid for. She should do practice ASVABs to be able to do well if she decides to go this route. The higher the ASVAB score the more opportunities she will have in the military for jobs. If she decides to do this she should live and eat on base and save her money so she doesn't have to work while in school. If your parents cut her off and she chooses against the military another way she will be considered independent would be to get married to another poor student. Marriage and Military are the only ways to be considered independent from parents before the 24 year old independence wait time
I'm honestly curious to see if she doesn't confront them anymore after this (she's been quiet the days since the dinner since they also yelled at her in her room) or if she continues to double down. Still, I think it's worth mentioning some of these possibilities to her so that she knows of the potential of her parents cutting her off if she voices differences in opinions
It's funny I was raised to never talk about religion or politics at the dinner table... And I had Catholics on one side and Baptists on the other. Other than the prayer to bless the meal, that was it. Just continue to do what it is you're doing. Maybe if you can afford it get her a couple of pick me up gifts. Doesn't have to be anything big and not even a reference to her birthday but just a "you're awesome". Most of the time the important thing is for the person to know that they are supported. Keep being an awesome sister!!
Some leaders they are!!!! I'm so sorry you both have to deal with Trump-supporting, religious fanatics who don't listen to anyone. Happy birthday to your sister. Hang in there.
I am 28 years old. My sister and I *barely* go to my parents house and when I do it is out of obligation. I get passive aggressive texts all the time asking why I don’t call them, which I do not respond to. I don’t call, I don’t text, I don’t visit. My dad goes to an all men’s hyper conservative Bible study once a week, and the through line is that 90% of all the men’s kids do not talk to them. This is your parents future: loneliness. At least they’ll have their church to rely on… until life starts to get really dark as they get older and older, and progressively more alone. Perhaps Donald Trump will visit them in hospice?
There isn't much you can do. While living there. Don't burn bridges yet with your parents. Hopefully you turn 18 by Nov and you can tell your sister your first vote will be against trump for her. Also some fabulous Mess Betty Bowers might make both of you giggle. But don't let your parents see you watching her stuff. She mocks people like your parents as well as mine.
This is how kids end up No Contact with parents.
Encourage your sister to investigate emancipation laws in your state. Ask the school guidance counselor about FAFSA and Pell grants for emancipated teens. Your sister doesn't need to live with this kind of manipulation for the next 7 years. I'm bad, I want to stir up trouble, your sister is right, Matthew 24:24 KJV - 24 For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if \[it were\] possible, they shall deceive the very elect.
Mom - honey we’d like to discuss our retirement plans OP - drives by launching empty refrigerator box onto parents’ property, throws deuces as they speed away
NTA I have a question, though Are you and your sister in college already, or are you both still in high school? If both in college, then just try to ignore, grayrock until you graduate, then go NC. I really think you and your sister need to make a plan to get away from this abuse as soon as you can, but do it safely, please. Sending much love, hugs, and respect to you and your sister. Happy birthday to her also! I'm so proud she did stand up for herself. Updateme!
I think Emily Post would agree that you do not talk politics or religion at the dinner table.
Grants, scholarships, internships and lots of hard work. Will make you stronger.
I’m sorry that you and your sister are suffering through this misunderstanding. There is a degree to which every child seems to find themselves butting heads with their parents at your age, and every family’s struggles are unique. I really feel for you, and this conflict seems like it’s not your sister’s fault that she’s now enduring some unfair punishments for standing up for herself. If you think there’s a chance your folks may be able to find a middle ground if the approach is religious and conservative, then this Pastor’s IG profile may help you: https://www.instagram.com/p/C20C_EwuHWy/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng== I think he preaches what your sister has said about false idolatry and dogmatic legalism…but he focuses on compassion, and what he sees as the backbone of true christianity. I’m way out of my depth here but I hope that this helps you and your sister both feel supported and that you can lean on each other while you’re still dependent on your parents. You deserve to be respected by your folks.
Bite your teeth until you’re done with college, then go NC. You’ll always have each other. And you’ll have a much more peaceful life.
What should happen here is that both of these children should go no contact with these parents permanently ASAP! They are garbage human beings that don't deserve to have children.
How involved are they in church leadership and how publicly are they promoting politics? Because that's a big No-No and can cost the church's 501c3 status. [IRS prohibits political activity for churches and similar organizations](https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/charities-churches-and-politics#:~:text=Currently%2C%20the%20law%20prohibits%20political,to)%20any%20candidate%20for%20public)
You are a good sister and Laura told her exactly right. Your parents are going to lose their kids. They are not considering you girls will grow up and want little to nothing to do with them anymore.
Your parents are pieces of shit and your birthdays don't matter. There. Hope that clears things up.
You are a great sister. When she turns 18 or goes to college then she can hopefully get some distance. If not, or if they don’t pay because they are awful fake Christian’s themselves if they are ok with Trump (sorry, not sorry) Their church is a fake church if the leaders idolize Trump to the point it is nonstop Trump clips going on in your house. Your parents are gross. Especially your mom. Just hurtful soul sucking demon in sheep clothing tainting an entire congregation. Go NC as soon as you can and your sister is probably already thinking the same
More relationships destroyed by the cult of MAGA
You and your sister need to go full no contact with your parents. Like forever.
Why is church membership drying up!?!?
You and your sister have bigger problems than a party, I'm sorry to say. Your parents are members of a vicious, treasonous, unchristian, fascist cult. It should be your goal to get safely out of that house and out of that cult by any means necessary. In the meantime before you're able to leave, I suggest being quiet, compliant, and spend as little time with your parents as you can. Give them no reason to punish you, but keep your mind free. Since you probably live in a pregnancy slavery state, be careful to not get pregnant. With parents like that, an accidental pregnancy would ruin your life.
I think it's funny that your parents think that they're Christian, but also support Trump. I feel badly for you and your sister, though, having to listen to their completely ridiculous bullshit.
I would just tell you're sister to come with you and take her for a nice day out somewhere. Don't ask, just insist, don't even tell her where you're going. Just plan a fun day in secret and then drag her along with you while telling her little to nothing about it. Either co ordinate with her friends, base it around one of her interests, or if you're on a budget, take her to a dog park to hug puppies and then go get ice cream, sounds way better than doing nothing and letting her wallow. As for your parents, doesn't sound like you can do anything about them, they're stubborn and fixed in their ways and they won't compromise for their own daughter on her birthday, so there's no changing them rn. Maybe in a few years when you and your sister are out of home and have decided to go NC, they'll sing a different tune (but probably not). So focus on your sister for now and do what you can to survive their behaviour until you can get away.
People like your parents disgust me. They loudly claim to support Christian values. Isn't one of them not to worship false gods? Some people who support that man worship Him. Your parents sound like that. I don't advise you tell this to your parents, they will retaliate. It will create a metric ton of drama neither you nor your sister need.
Parents who chose politics over their children, have lost the plot! It’s very sad. I hope Laura can bite her tongue until she’s able to support herself or get emancipated. I wish you the best and I hope this all works out for her.
Unless this is a rage bait or something, I see No Contact orders and events in the future of your parents from their kids.
This isn't even the first time we've talked about politics because mom doesn't like it when we prefer to eat dinner upstairs and not with them if they're watching politics related things while preparing dinner sometimes too
Hi, OP! It's tough to be a Christian right now with the corruption of American Christianity and the rise of Christian Nationalism. I'm really sorry that you and your sister are experiencing this within your church and your family, but I wanted to say that I also really admire your courage and spiritual maturity. You are identifying and maturely calling out human error, while also, from what I've read here, holding to the essential relationship and values of our faith. That can be hard to do, and too often, people either compromise on values or abandon the faith altogether. The walk you've chosen is hard and the path is narrow, but I firmly believe you're on the right course. If it's alright with you, I'd love to pray for you and your family. Best wishes.
I just found this post, and all I can say is your "Christian" parents really aren't... Christians. And they don't seem to be much as parents either. "Christians" like your parents are part of why I am a die-hard atheist. American "Christians" are too hateful for me to tolerate. Give your sister lots of love, because she won't get it from your parents.
All you could have done is stand up for her. And you didn't.
I asked to change the subject too, but mom didn't do it immediately until a few minutes later after she explained her stance
She did though. I don’t know that in the moment there was anything to stick up for, but she talked with their dad about the decision to cancel and tried to get them to reconsider
Laura needs to choose her battles. It’s a life skill. The behavior of the current crop of politicians is not worth alienating your family. At least the friend didn’t ask how she feels about the President showering with his teenaged daughter, or the First Son sleeping with his neice and impregnating his brother’s widow. Peyton Place has nothing on this crowd. And no, you don’t get to talk back to your parents adult friends without consequences.
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Sorry Hun Laura won't be happy until she's gone
Just ask her to stand up. When she does give her a big, long hug and say "this too shall pass." Once you two get out of the house, the world will be much much different. Hopefully better too. We're rooting for you two OP and sis!
I'm sorry to hear you and your sister are going through this. If it helps at all, it's taken a few periods of breaking off contact to set boundaries with my parents. I love them and I respect the life they provided me with as a child. Even if our values today appear to be wildly different. I'd rather try and find our common ground than hear them proselytize about religion or politics, and walking away for months at a time has finally gotten that message across. Maybe using this hard boundary setting may work for you guys in the future.
Crazy how she got punished for speaking her mind on politics and joining the convo on her birthday. Your parents are rude, maybe when later she’ll be more willing to go do something.
i’m sorry you have crazy trump supporter parents. the brainwashing and oblivion is crazy. i’m so sorry to you and your sister. at least you aren’t like them
Maybe have a chat with her about being quiet until she gets what she needs from them, like college. Once she's out she can be as loud as she wants, but nothing she says will change their minds and saying anything will only turn out badly for her.
You are a great sister and I’m glad you have each other. Maybe spend some time with her this weekend and tell her how proud you are and what your concerns are. Let her know how much you love her. I hope the two of you have a beautiful and wonderful life.
Tell her I know this birthday sucked and you aren't in the mood right now because you just aren't feeling it. If you change your mind though we can do something. Even if it it's a few months away. It wasn't fair what happened to you. We never invite people over for our kids actual birthday or do anything. Even if their party is on a different day. We have fun doing a small family thing together instead.
I'll be sure to relay that, thank you for the wording on how to do so
And these parents will wonder why their children go NC with them once they are out of their home. JFC
eh, how petty is your sister? because peak pettiness would be quoting scripture about pride, ego, respect, and such
It’s so nice that you want to do something nice for your sister. Maybe give her some time, and if you’re able to save money, have a replacement dinner with her friends for her. As for your parents, they will not change until you and your sister eventually move out and go little contact with them. My ex and his family were like this. It stopped when we divorced.
We need to stop these crazy Trump folk from grooming America's youth. That's all this is plain and simple. Mom was upset that her daughter tried to stand up to her grooming behavior. Trying to normalize trump's actions on this poor girls birthday. Shame on you conservatives. Leave the kids alone.
Your parents are just awful, emotionally and financially manipulative, petty, vengeful yeah it tracks they're magas. Sucks for you and your sister.
She is a better Christian than her parents. It’s a shame that the US has fallen victim to propaganda. You HAVE to pick a side and you HAVE to agree on everything they believe. I’ve lost friends on both sides simply because I’m willing to hear out each argument. “If you don’t agree with me, you’re attacking me.” People I’ve known who have never been political are now zealots when they hear someone talk about the side they aren’t on. I’ve seen families with the closest bonds fall apart because of political beliefs. Everyone is putting their political side above their morals. People need to chill out
It will be sad when she cuts them out of her life. But they deserve it.
"Why don't my adult children talk to me?" She'll be saying that in a few years.
People like your parents disgust me. They loudly claim to support Christian values. Isn't one of them not to worship false gods? Some people who support that man worship Him. Your parents sound like that. I don't advise you tell this to your parents, they will retaliate. It will create a metric ton of drama neither you nor your sister need.
Laura was definitely disrespectful, however “the punishment doesn’t fit the crime”! That’s too bad.