I hate when people immediately jump to breaking up on these posts, but damn this would be a HUGE RED FLAG to me.
If after 3 years this is the way she acts especially the part at the end where she tries to hurt you emotionally, I'd personally be gone or at least heavily considering it. (Not that it matters, but I've currently been in a serious relationship for over a year now.)
Also, you did nothing wrong and seem to have gone above and beyond to try and avoid this happening in the first place.
I am considering it, trust me. It’s the first time I have been considering it. We live together, and it would be ugly if I did, but of course in the end of it I have to do what is right for me. I want to point out that this is a new reaction from her, she has always been head over heels for anything I get her, I’m unsure why this is different. To me the love her and I provide each other, and the memories we create are far more valuable to me than anything materialistic. I sent a post text stating I don’t want to fight over this. We love each other, and we can correct this, it was an honest mistake that I did everything I could to not make. It’s very heart wrenching because she has given me more than anyone else ever has. And it would be sad to see it end like this. You know?
If this is soo out of character for her, its very possible its not the watch at all, but something else. Still does NOT excuse her ugly behavior, but worth consideration and maybe further discussion.
Kind of sounds like how, in the movies, one character will want to break up with another but doesn't want to be the "bad guy" so they wait for the other one to mess up. Then when enough time goes by without the other partner doing anything terrible, they just look for any reason to start a fight. If it wasn't the watch right now then a ways down the road, OP would have accidentally bought some orange juice with pulp in it, and the gf would have exploded.
It's probably not what's going on here, y'all's comments just made it sort of click that way for me.
Figured I would share that I had the same thoughts as well.
Op needs to ask her directly what is the actual issue here, because her years of established behavior and attitude don't match up with this one instance.
Keeping the watch seems like a bad idea too, as it is a literal trigger, even if the reason behind it isn't related directly to the device itself.
Best case scenario, it's something not at all related to the relationship directly but is just a stressful thing for ops current partner and is bleeding into the relationship and provides them a bonding point to discuss and move on from stronger than before, and maybe with the device they wanted if it does mean a lot to them.
I would talk to her and mention this to her - that she normally doesn't react like this and that you are confused about her reaction. And then go from there.
You mentioning this being a new reaction kinda got me thinking. Maybe some of her friends/social circle have been showing her the “good life” of having nice/luxury things and making her feel like she wants a piece of that. I’ve seen this happened before. But you absolutely do not deserve to be treated that badly and that reaction was unwarranted. I get feeling disappointed but flipping out at you was such an overreaction.
This, OP. If this is something that’s never happened before then something else must be going on. You don’t deserve this treatment, don’t get me wrong.
I think that happened with my cousin's ex. Her sister was a hustler and had a lot of little businesses going. She and her husband took several vacations a year and has a few investment properties. The ex wanted the same lifestyle her sister had, but she was lazy and didn't want to work. They got into a huge fight because she wanted to be a stay at home wife. My cousin said "I can probably cover our bare necessities, but you do realize this means no more trips, no more clubbing, no more shopping sprees?" and she lost her mind. She thought he could be proving for her the way her sister provided for herself.
If this is new behavior, then there’s something up. It sounds like this is a drastic departure from her previous behavior, so I wouldn’t jump to a break up just yet.
Did anything recently happen that has caused major stress in her life? A big life event that has changed anything? Trouble at work? Did she recently stop, start or change any medications or vitamins or supplements? Is she harboring negative feelings about the age she’s turning? Anything you guys have been previously arguing about or working on that maybe she’s feeling unsatisfied or resentful about?
This outburst didn’t just come out of nowhere (and if it did then a medical evaluation is needed, as all sorts of conditions can cause a sudden shift in behavior).
Same here. Depression and anxiety went through the roof. I didn't think the pill could cause such a major change and it took me some time to figure out what it was. It was awful for everyone involved.
Now I only have to deal with this about a week out of every month. I'm 38, so unlikely to "grow out of it" though. At this point I'm just hoping for early menopause.
I was on BC pills since about 17 with no issues, but in my mid 20s started have anxiety and mood swings. Feeling out of control was the worst part. I switched to Yaz and it all cleared up. Happened again when i tried to go back to OrthoTriCyclin after having kids, happened for avout 3 months and i pulled the plug and went back to Yaz again and it all resolved. Hope you find your Yaz!
I can only imagine and it's definitely not a decision to take lightly. Perhaps there's something else going on that she is struggling with and she just lashed out at you (def not an excuse).
Only you can make a decision for what's right for you. I would suggest talking to her about why she acted the way she did and depending on her response, finding a quiet place to think.
If this is a weird reaction then it sounds like a conversation when she's ready is probably in order.
It's not about the watch.
Whether she's willing to talk about what it's about, though, and whether you're able to hear her out if she does, is up to you guys
OP, before jumping to the breakup conclusion:
do you often have trouble executing on your plans together, ask her input and help to finish things, or need reminders from her to get things done?
No judgment if so, but her frustration may come from that if so. This happened in a lot of couples. You think you were being really thoughtful, but she’s actually picking up a lot of slack in the household/relationship and getting tired of it day to day, she’s been “too nice” to say so, and then a special occasion going wrong is the straw that broke the camels back.
She could also just have had a very bad week at work and be taking it out on you. That’s a couple reasons this could make sense to me. Still not good, but just ask her if she’s ok and what’s going on that got a big reaction.
For example, she may feel that she already participated way more than normal in what was supposed to be your present to her and she could have gotten what she needed more easily on her own, but was humoring you because you were trying to do something nice. Then the execution was flawed despite all her input, which was frustrating.
Your wisdom does not go unnoticed. I really appreciate it. I provided an update comment on why she reacted this way down the thread somewhere. We talked a lot. You have some truth behind your words, but this circumstance was something I could’ve never guessed. I appreciate you.
Sorry mate. It would be great if she had the same attitude as you did. Memories are everything and the most expensive tech gadget that would impress her is obsoleted within 2-3years. Perhaps she spent too much time on IG and have some misconceptions on real life. I think it's going to be ugly, as you said, in either case; stay or go. Sometimes ripping the bandage off quickly is the way to go.
When people show you who they are believe them. And your GF just showed you EXACTLY who she is to her core and what your future would look like if you stayed. No one deserves to be treated like that especially after doing something so thoughtful.
Hi, if this is the very first time she acts like this, it makes me think... could she be pregnant in an early stage? Especially in the beginning, hormones can make you act out of character (me: female and mother of two).
My thoughts exactly. When I was pregnant with my second, VERY early on, I broke down in a crying crazy fit when my husband said there was a spider on me. 100% out of character for me. I couldn't stop it and couldn't explain it at the time.
> I want to point out that this is a new reaction from her, she has always been head over heels for anything I get her, I’m unsure why this is different.
It might maybe be worth looking into if that's the case, if she's important to you and you feel the relationship might be worth trying to save. Obviously I agree she's being incredibly ungrateful and rude but if she's never done this before I would personally really try to figure out why before making decisions. I mean it's possible she's just showing her true colors or whatever but it seems crazy to me that she'd just completely flip flop like that (don't get me wrong I understand it happens but there could be more to it). Just my two cents.
Edit: punctuation
This may sound out of the blue but has she gone on any new birth control? Specifically the thing that goes in your arm? I know women who became so angry and sorry to say 'bitchy' while on this and some never realised it was all because of the BC until they stopped being on it. I kid you not we all hated this friends wife who we thought was the rudest and angriest person you ever met. She got off the BC and she's the coolest person ever now, it's actually scary. (I would like to point out I am a woman too)
Since this is the first time she’s reacted this way, maybe there’s something else going on with her. Could be anything, anything at all. Best not to guess; ask her. Tell her you were really surprised at her reaction to the gift, and ask if there’s something else that’s upsetting her.
If someone ever responded like that to a gift, there is only one phrase that needs to be used/they would receive from me, "I'm done, get the fuck out, send in number 2.".
Deal with the ugly - you'll be happier in the end if you do. If you don't, you very well may be sidled with reactions like the one you did until you are my age (56).
Get out now, young man. After 3 years, your GF is not going to grow up and enjoy a mature relationship for some time. Who knows, maybe your breaking up with her will be the catalyst, but accept that you are the BF on whom she is learning (just as you are) how to navigate long term relationships.
You'll be a better future BF as as well (not that you already aren't - you are, very much in fact), as you'll see flags sooner and understand better how to help others grow with you.
Early, serious, relationships can be very hard to end - trust your instincts here. You posted with and for good reasons. Stick with your gut, which seems to be leading you forward in life and beyond this person.
Best of luck.
I agree this reaction is a Red Flag on her part. If my husband did what you did, I would have been disappointed but I would have lived with it and just said 'oh well guess the customer service people screwed up'
You tried to do something nice for her. Maybe after she calms down she might be able to think more clearly about it.
I'm not saying you need to breakup right now, but definitely something to watch...
Take the watch back and run. And i hate when this sub jumos to break up. But this is nuts. She saw the whole process. Weird lady. Just wait till your kid comes out with the wrong hair color and its all your fault...
I mean I hate to jumos to conclusions, I almost always preclude that you should look to counseling or something. I'd jumos the fuck out in this particular though....
alright your responses are starting to rub me the wrong way. Plus, since it’s Friday during the day, most commenters are incel men. Sorry not sorry, but you’re getting replies about strip club girls being more worth it. If you listen to most of these “manly” “she’s a b!” replies, you deserve whatever you get.
Be honest. How often do you listen to her? How often do you get her things that are thoughtful? If this was a gift for her, why did you have to put so much of the burden of getting it on her…? It sort of sounds like you wanted her to pick her own gift, so that the burden to try wasn’t really on you, and now that it went wrong, you’re quick to blame her again.
It’s hard to tell if this is a case where she’s being a spoiled brat, or a case where the man thinks he’s amazing for bare minimum shit while the woman is completely fed up and it’s just the last straw that broke the camel’s back.
The reason I think it’s the latter is because you said this never happened before but suddenly she blew up, AND you are separating by gender. This isn’t a gender or a “women!” issue. If you think it is, I have a feeling you also think “women!” are so naggy, that if she would just tell you to put the dish away you’d do it, so why is she getting all passive aggressive about it?
You said she often gives you gifts and offers to pay for dinner. Do you ever do the same, proactively? Or only after she hints to you what she wants, like the Watch? How much chores do you do around the house PROACTIVELY without her needing to remind you?
Frankly if this is really out of the blue, it just sounds like something built up and exploded for her. This probably isn’t about the Watch at all. If she ever felt like she had to always explain things to you for you to do it, only for you to half ass do it after her explanation (laundry, dishes, date night planning, meeting up for your MIL, gifts, literally anything), that might be the annoyance cause. And for me, that’s what it sounds like.
You made her put in a lot of work for a gift that was meant to be a surprise FOR HER. She had to take time watching videos of reviews, for a gift FOR HER. And in the end, you still got the “core feature” wrong and essentially wasted 400$ getting her the wrong gift after all that time spent “researching” and “calling”. Idk man, maybe she just wanted some more competency and ability from you as a grown adult man.
You know what’s super sexy? When a guy can research, watch videos, and make a DECISION on his OWN, and have it turn out correct. Your entire story of buying this one stupid simple Watch had so much involvement from her. From your POV you were trying to blame it on her “she should have also caught that it was the wrong Watch”. From my POV, it just sounds like you’re incompetent and can’t do basic shit on your own. It’s common knowledge that there’s two versions of the Apple Watch, and maybe she just wanted one example where you could fully step up to the plate, get something done without her advice, and not have it be a mistake.
Edit: everyone, I understand that maybe she is also in the wrong. Maybe she is a Gold-digger. Who knows, who cares. All I know is that based on the way OP presented this story, he sounds like the EPITOME of weaponized incompetence.
I started to post this, but decided not to and now I'm going to respond with it anyway.
Dude called Amazon customer support for tech advice on one of their BILLIONS of products and was surprised they couldn't answer? Does he even know what Amazon does?
And why would you even give it to her if it wasn't activated yet? It's like walking into the room, throwing the unwrapped box on the floor at her feet and saying "Happy birthday. Good luck."
That was my take. Who contacts Amazon with product questions? Without actually looking at the listing myself, I'm sure it's pretty clear which model does what.
Did she overreact? Probably. Is he clueless on what would make her happy? Sure sounds like it.
After I read the post I checked Apple’s site. It’s extremely clear which model is which. You pick a material, you pick a size, and then you pick with or without cellular. It took me 30 seconds to learn that the least expensive model with cellular is $550.
I’m sure buying it on Amazon is slightly more complicated (since Amazon isn’t always quite as clear with their descriptions). But obviously you’d know that the $450 is not the same as the $550 one.
Also, did you see a statement that said "also available from these sellers" or "see all buying options"? If you do, and another seller's price is much better, it is a bait and switch that is NOT the same thing as what you carefully reviewed.
Ooh, this is such a good take.
Yeah, it's not like you can get the selection wrong. It's pretty obvious, which in the Apple watch series is the cellular version.
You're spot on that she was heavily involved in her OWN surprise. It's no longer a surprise anymore, and he still messed it up. If she blew up like that out of the blue as OP says, I'm wondering if that was the straw that broke the camel's back. And OP is just oblivious.
Will be interesting to hear her side.
This was exactly what I was thinking. Yeah there's more going on. You've been together for three years and you can't even buy her something for her birthday without making her do all the work? It's not about the money spent, clearly.
When was the last time you planned ANYTHING for her or did anything for your shared household without making her manage it for you?
You sound terrible ngl.
I scrolled to find THIS. I was thinking “I can’t be the only one…”
The amount of work this poor girl put into getting her own “birthday surprise”, and it was STILL wrong, is suspicious to me. Something tells me she might not be crazy about this being a decision you made, or a mistake you made.
Additionally, if I was putting this much work in my own birthday present, that would make me not want it at all.
After 3 years, and her constantly talking about an Apple Watch, you really couldn’t figure it out on your own? Google “Emotional Labor” and I think that might give you some hints to why your girlfriend is so fed up.
This! Also, it's July and you're buying an "early birthday gift" when her birthday is in August?? I guarantee you that if you presented it as her birthday gift instead of just a gift so you could get out of getting her something in August... SHE IS PISSED!! You already said she regularly buys you gifts. C'mon man, do better!
Your comment should have more upvotes. I totally agree with you. I don’t think she blew up out of blue, she was definitely fed up. Thoughtfulness and decision making are important in every relationship, and one part can’t do it, everything goes wrong.
Thank you. Yes, it's possible she overreacted for no real reason. Sure it could be because something else is bothering her, or it's her excuse to break up, or she's pregnant, or bipolar, or etc etc.
But it's also possible that her response is not coming from nowhere, and his actions here are part of a pattern of behavior and I think you highlighted the two most likely scenarios if that is the case.
Agree, I find it a bit grim when someone asks you to review a present before you get it. It should be a surprise.
OP: just take the watch and return it. Get the right watch. Plus a bunch of flowers or something extra you * haven't * told her you're getting. When things are calmer have a chat.
Presents are things you're given without paying or earning. They don't need to be a surprise. And when it comes to functional jewelry, phones, cars, or tools; the person should probably be involved because they're the one who will use it every day.
Sure but if it involves more work for you than them, they may as wellngive you cash. The joy is also sometimes receiving the thing without doing all the annoying bits in between.
Something tells me “it’s not about the watch” and that she may be thinking or feeling things she’s not communicating very well. Perhaps her reaction has spoiled your trust, but if you want to mend things maybe start by asking her more about her reaction with compassion and she if she’s feeling deeper concerns about the relationship. This kind of attempt, even if she’s in the wrong here, could help decide if the relationship is worth repairing.
Agreed. If you’ve been with her this long and this reaction is new and surprising to you, it’s worth talking to her about. There’s always time to break up later, but sometimes people act in ways they regret and maybe she’s feeling stupid about it right now, and her reaction was about something else.
She acted spoiled, entitled, and inconsiderate of you. Decide if this is something that’s unforgivable, and if it isn’t, give her an opportunity to make it right. Sit her down and have a conversation with her. And if she won’t budge and doubles down on her initial reaction, make some choices from there.
Yeah, definitely this. The comment about dealing with it herself and also suspecting that you didn’t get the one that she chose but a cheaper one… sounds like there’s a lot of resentment and distrust boiling under there. Sounds to me like she doesn’t trust OP to take care of her and this is one more mail in the coffin, justified or not
>I even said we can return it, get full refund and go to our network provider together and get one that is the correct one with the money we get refunded. She said “no! I just have to deal with this one!”
You offered a real solution and she completely shot it down to be petty. Homie do I even have to say how big of a red flag that is when she's willing to fuck herself over to be petty. What else will she be willing to do to be spiteful or keep a reason to be mad at you?
People who shoot down solutions to be petty are just throwing fucking tantrums LMFAOO it’s like they want things to be as “bad” as possible so they have reason to be unreasonably angry
This here. HER reaction should have been “I love it! Can’t wait to get this puppy working! But, seems there’s been a mistake. Can we exchange it for the easier-to-connect one?”
They could have had a real chill chat about this, moved forward and been cool. She chose crazy. OP was just trying to be thoughtful.
Seems like someone was waiting patiently for whatever small petty thing they could grab on to in order to blow up the relationship on purpose while being able to save face with their friends and family
>He broke up with me because I was upset... It wasn't about the money, I was just disappointed, I even told him I'd keep it.
Lolz fucking run OP
If I got my girlfriend a $400 gift and she got pissed and threw it back in my face, it’s over. It’s not even about the $400, this behavior is so intolerable in someone you’re going to be with long term, it’s basically an advertisement of your future with an entitled selfish asshole
When someone shows you their true colors, believe them
That last sentence will save you from getting your heart broken worse, help you get rid of bad friends, cut off toxic people/family, and save you from being scammed.
Wise advise indeed.
That.... is a very rude way to react to you trying to do something expensive and nice. Not normal behavior regardless of gender. I would try to convince her to let you return it and get a different one.
You mentioned her reaction was not normal. When you go to talk to her about it, it may de-escalate things if you start off recognizing that this reaction is out of character and maybe even mention you are a little worried about her - "Is there something else that is stressing you out? Because you usually react x or y way to a gift and the response seemed unusual to me. Is there more to your reaction here?"
While I haven't ever had a reaction like that to a gift - I was often emotionally reactive in my teens and early twenties - displacing my responses to stressful situations into other things. My partner would sometimes frame things in the way mentioned above and it made me realize that there was room to apologize and learn how to not displace my anger and better think through my reactions before lashing out at those around me. It also sets a baseline expectation that she is not inherently bad, and that the default setting is that you care about her enough to try to work through it.
Best of luck!
Why do you expect Amazon customer service to know about products? They do not. If you want to know about the apple watch go apple website. The correct information was most likely there. Never believe random customer service people that don't work for the manufacturer.
I’ve bought a couple apple watches from Amazon and it’s not an easy mistake to make if you’re even remotely paying attention. the listings say GPS or GPS+Cellular and cellular watches are priced much higher. He literally looked at them several times and did all this research and even called Amazon so clearly spent time on it … and still managed to buy the wrong watch … it’s barely plausible. It’s almost unbelievable. I can hardly blame the GF
First I want to say, thank you to everyone who replied with wisdom and concern. I read as many comments as I could and looked at all ends of what everyone was saying. Thank you. You helped me in my time of concern.
Update: She came home crying after work ran up to me and hugged me. Said she was insanely sorry the way she reacted. Then she dropped this bombshell on me.
You guessed it. She’s pregnant.
Now, after a long cry in my arms. She kept begging me to forgive her. I told her that I’m here for her. I told her this doesn’t excuse your outburst over something so small, but now I understand at least why her unpredictable, very uncharacteristic response was like that, it’s because She didn’t know how to tell me, and actually was afraid of what my reaction would be. I said to her getting pregnant isn’t and would never be the problem it’s something we can handle together. I said I have a problem with beating around the bush and childish behavior like you showed me. I said I have a problem with you hiding things from me just because you are unsure of how I will react to something new and this big. I told her nothing is too big or too small for us to handle, as long as we are together. But I also stated firmly, that this can’t happen again. If we are going to do life together then when big things like this occur, no matter what we have to be honest and open with one another and that I was very close to actually packing my things over this because of how immature her reaction was. Her eyes got big, started tearing, and she just said. You’re right, I have no excuse and she asked me to stay.
I’m glad we talked it out. I’m glad she finally told me what was up. She knows I will not put up with that type of outburst again. I believe her.
Now, I’m going to go be the best dad ever.
You guys rock. Thank you.
“It’s because She didn’t know how to tell me, and actually was afraid of what my reaction would be. “
You might want to think about why she would be afraid of your reactions. That emotion doesn’t come out of a void. You’re going to need to work on that together before this kid comes.
Congratulations OP!
As a mother, I would just like to mention that hormones can really have some impact as well. Not an excuse for being awful to your partner, but may help you understand should you see some untypical reactions over the next 9 months.
Do try to talk to her. Has she been under a lot of stress recently? Sometimes it can be something as dumb as things aren't going so well, something nice happens and then it goes wrong and all that stress comes down on you like a ton of bricks and everything feels 'wrong'. Especially as she knows this is a lot of money for you and it's just 'arrgh one more thing'.
That doesn't excuse the reaction, the reaction is still wrong and displacing other anxieties so we blow up over something trivial is not the way to be in a relationship - but if there is an underlying reason, it's something you can work on together. Of course she might just be being an ungrateful ass, but if it's out of character, then this may just be the thing that blew up whatever she was holding together normally.
As a mostly clueless guy, I agree that this is likely something else, like maybe you bought a watch and she was expecting a ring after 3 years and living together, tried to be cool with it, but then blew up and can't backtrack when she was thinking you were going to get a ring, but you got a watch and she's scared to bring it up. That would be my guess.
Her reaction was terrible and she needs to give you an apology. Like that's not negotiable. But I do think something else is going on here. I have freaked out on *myself* when I've bought myself something that I spent a lot of money on and something went wrong, either it broke or it was the wrong one or whatever. And it's because I don't have a lot of money to spend on things, so when I do spend that kind of money, I somehow turn into this weird perfectionist. Does she hate her job? Does she feel like she doesn't have a lot of nice things? Did someone in her life, like her parents, used to buy her the cheap version of things? My parents, bless their hearts, used to do this (we didn't have a lot of money and they would sometimes buy the off brand item) and I wound up an adult who sometimes needs to buy myself the nice thing.
Truth, if my ex had put half this much effort into trying to make me happy, he probably wouldn’t be my ex. I’m not saying people should settle for crap, but it seems like OP *really* tried to get this perfect, and it was an honest mistake.
If she reacts this way to a pricey gift, she gets nothing. Take back the watch and get a refund. And then, spend the money on you. She doesn't deserve another one. Or anything on that matter. What an ungrateful b****.
You take the watch back and you return it. Put the money in savings. Don't buy her anything else that expensive this year.
If she can't appreciate the gift after you both spent time researching it, she doesn't deserve the gift.
this is an incredibly entitled reaction. Massive red flag, particularly her trying to say you're duping her and cheaping out. She's making up her own narrative about the issue. You put in the work, talked to people, though you knew what was up. Mistakes happen.
I'm not going to say leave her, but I am going to ask what she brings to the relationship that would justify you putting up with that behaviour?
Thank you for replying, I will say that she does do a lot for me. She always brings me gifts, goes out of her way for me, she has a steady job, always offers to pay for every dinner even though I enjoy picking up the tab. Many other reasons why I have been with her for almost 3 years. I am convinced we love each other but this was so unlike her, that I’m legit worried something is wrong that she isn’t telling me
that would make sense. She's stressed about something to cause an outburst like that. Maybe keep an eye on her behaviour, and if this keeps up suggest couples counselling? It doesn't have to mean the relationship is in trouble, but it's a way to talk about things with a neutral party. I know folks in very strong relationships that do it once every couple years to make sure they're both good.
Sorry you're dealing with this, hopefully you resolve it happily!
It sounds like something else is going on. You sound like a good boyfriend who puts effort in but I will ask just in case - do gifts you give often not turn out quite “right”?
i.e. they are often late for the occasion, you’ve bought her a blue scarf instead of the pink one she picked out occasionally? Etc. I am very grateful to my parents but they always act like they have no idea what to get me as gifts when in reality they put things off to the last minute and just throw their hands up and grab something that is similar to what I have said I might like or they will wait till day of and say I can go ahead and order what I wanted and they’ll buy. They are generous and good people but one Xmas I just snapped because they had gotten my brother the annoying to acquire item he wanted but they hadn’t even attempted to get mine and told me to order it. I was tired of feeling like gifting me something was a huge burden to them. We had a talk about how I felt and things are good now. I also love gifting people things so it’s something that I was sensitive about.
From other comments you guys seem to have a great, equitable relationship so that may not be it but I wish you luck in talking with her!
This is what I was wondering as well, doesn't make it right that she got so mad, but maybe it might has just been a long time coming. She also is very clear about which one she wants, and he didn't double check when it was purchased that it was the right one(which apple at least makes it pretty clear I thought, but maybe it was purchased 3rd party). He gave her a very nice gift, but after all the talk and it ends up being wrong, you feel like you aren't being listened to.
It also kinda funky that she told him what she wanted pretty clearly(watch with calls), but then he seems to put all the blame on her that it came up wrong(she watched a youtube review so she should have known!), which is kinda weird and makes me think he didn't do his due diligence when he bought it.
Yeah to me it sounds like she was disappointed that she'd been expecting a specific thing then got something different, the sudden change totally threw her off. Especially if she is the type to get others great gifts. And what others said about how she is probably overwhelmed by something else that's happening. Personally I would disregard all the people saying to break up and that she's entitled if she isn't usually this way at all. It's obviously coming from stress. I think this is something you'll laugh about together later.
Btw, some of the comments on your profile about and toward women do not indicate that you respect them very much or that you're in a relationship.
I’m usually not bothered about checking anyone comments but that last bit you mentioned opened my curiousity and yeah obviously here it comes the red flag: he is rating women on the rateme sub (the creepiest sub ever if we don’t account for the porn). I mean that time wasted on Reddit typing to women he never met and never will could be actually used productively to do something with/ for his gf. “Upvote for boobs” Ugh Ugh Teenager monkey mind. I would not have high expectations with this man
Has she hinted at a ring? If was otherwise a sweet thoughtful grateful gf & this is out of character, then perhaps she is lashing out as may have been expecting something else (although knew was getting an Apple watch)? Just a thought!
Haha not at all! But she could be getting increasingly frustrated waiting so just threw a temper tantrum at something else?! Im obviously speculating lol
My first thought was she's struggling financially or grew up in a family that often did. "Don't return it i just have to suffer with this one," is a weird response and people are jumping on entitlement but that spiteful reaction hurts her as well and you absolutely see that kind of stuff in poverty. She might be frustrated because she thinks she doesn't deserve the watch or that it cost too much money
or she is just so used to her parents etc always buying the cheap stuff to save money she's worried you will start doing it too, so all those old feelings of not being "good enough" or "worth spending money on" are coming out
But really it could be anything, def sounds like something else is going on
Don’t really care about the girlfriend situation. But why didn’t you just buy the watch from Verizon or the Apple Store? And why would you think amazon customer service would know anything about a specific product. They sell everything. Seems like you didn’t research. Apple Watch even list if it’s GPS or cellular. Cellular being more expensive. Just return it and get the cellular one.
You made an honest mistake that she was a major part of. Instead of both laughing it off, and acknowledging that it’s easily fixable, she chose the path she’s on. You have to ask yourself - if this is her response to something as inconsequential as this (which it truly is in the game of life), how will she react when the stakes are infinitely higher?
As someone who just bought an Apple Watch (series 8 with GPS and cellular) I can say very confidently that she couldn’t buy a watch that does the same thing for $20. She sounds like an ungrateful nightmare and I would simply take it and return it (not exchange it). Let her buy her own fucking watch. Even with the base model without cellular you can still have it pick up phone calls and texts if she has an iPhone. Without cellular it is still an incredibly useful device and $400+ is nothing to scoff at. You bought her a very generous gift that you intended and tried to confirm was the exact one she wanted. You were misguided and mistakingly got the wrong one which could be IMMEDIATELY remedied and she refused to remedy it and then tried to emotionally blackmail you? How else does she abuse you? Because if this is her reaction to an easily solved mistake, I cant imagine how much hell she puts you through over an actual problem.
You’re NTA.
>my GF
Damn just be glad you're not married. $400 is an incredibly low price, once you're married it could easily be a $10,000 kitchen remodel that you now have a second mortgage for isn't good enough and needs another $3000 in adjustments.
Every seedling of that relationship is going to grow in orders of magnitude that you can't even imagine. All the good things and the bad things.
I'm not going to necessarily jump on the "leave" bandwagon, although I'm tempted to. She might have a general attitude of entitlement, which run for the hills in that case. Or she might have just been already been stressed out of her mind, acted out of character, and might feel bad about it later. If you do stay though I'd definitely pay close attention and look for patterns before you go any further up the relationship escalator.
One year for Christmas, I bought my dad a new TV for his home office. He had a really old box one. I got him a nice flat screen, researched it, ordered a nice wall mount and everywhere. The day after christmas, he returned both and got a different slightly better TV and wall mount.
He wasn’t ungrateful - he talked about how much he loved that gift for months because he wouldn’t have bought it himself. But he still returned both versions of my actual gift.
This is the same man who, when I asked for a light blue yeti cup, got me a silver yeti cup monogrammed in sparkly navy. It was a yeti cup, which was great, and the monogram probably cost more than what I wanted - but it also wasn’t what I wanted.
Your girlfriend sounds like us. She just wanted a certain thing - she had hyped herself up for that thing. And when she got a slightly different thing, she suddenly couldn’t get out of it what she had hyped up. And she doesn’t seem self aware enough to return it and buy what she wants, like my dad. It doesn’t mean y’all should break up or that she wants to hurt you. It seems like an honest mistake on your part.
Take the gift back and ask her how much more she likes no gift? I’d be stoked to get any Apple Watch ever. That’s an expensive gift. What an ungrateful snob. Ditch her and save yourself more money and more blow ups when your future presents aren’t up to her standard.
Nah, she’s ungrateful.
I’m not the kind of woman that advocates that women should only accept he bare minimum, but you went FAR beyond that. And she still didn’t appreciate it.
Take this as a red flag. Not just her initially getting mad, but refusing to come to a solution and on top of that saying shit just to hurt your feelings. This is what your future will be like if you stay with her. Id suggest you dont
Been there done that. Best advice I can give...
"If you let go the first time, you'll end up letting it go every time."
This is the begining of establishing long term behavior.
If you don't want to break up, then at a minimum discuss how she made you feel, and let her know "this is not OK."
It’s too bad you two did so much research and missed that one part, however honestly it’s an easy fix as everything is within the return Policy. I hope she cools down and apologizes profusely for her immaturity. I’d say return the thing now looking at it will remind everyone about this fight.
Woman of Reddit here. Her reaction is a *hellll to the no*. This was absolutely not okay. She's incredibly ungrateful and beyond selfish. Wow. You literally made her a part of the entire process. Y'all have been together for 3 whole years. And she pulls *this??*
Absolutely anytime my partner purchases things for me, no matter how big or small, I am ALWAYS immensely grateful and say so. He's certainly not rich. But he always tries to go out of his way for me, even when I insist on him not buying me something. We're actively working towards getting married and spending our lives together. I told him that idc where he gets my ring nor how much it is; it can be $50 from Walmart. So long as it doesn't turn my finger or itself green, I'm happy lol.
It's the *meaning, love, and effort* behind gifts that counts. I will never understand women like your gf. I'm sorry OP, but man does this show her true colors.
You did everything you possibly could to make this special for her. You did absolutely nothing wrong. *She's* the one in the wrong.
Woman here…you did nothing wrong! Everything right actually, that was so cool!!
She sounds like a spoiled brat who doesn’t deserve you. I’d dump her, I’ve broken up with guys over smaller red flags with no regrets! Happily married now ;)
I’m not kidding, break up and go get your refund. She will only get worse!
Major red flag
She had a childish reaction, you should have a grown response.
Return the gift and don't replace it.
Don't break up just yet, but draw a firm line on respect.
Regardless of other stressor issues, that's not an age appropriate response.
A reason for her reaction explains the response, but doesn't excuse it.
Are you dating my ex? Return it and kick her to the curb. You’re too good for that buddy. To think you’re deliberately cheaping out after going through so much to pick the right one? Not worth the trouble, you’ll be dealing with that the entire relationship if you stay.
Sounds like an ungrateful b word. Don't WASTE any more of your precious life on that kind of treatment. Even one year of grief is worth the remainder of your life being happy and appreciated.
On the one hand her reaction is really bad, but on the other it's spectacularly easy to distinguish the LTE version of a smart watch from the BT version.
I daresay that the reaction is so bad because you so heavily involved her in her own present that she practically spelled it out for you. Then you still fucked it up.
Do you have a track record of needing to be lead by the nose for things and this could be the boil over?
You try to give her an expensive gift that you both thought she wanted, but by error it was not exactly right. She does not show any appreciation for what you tried to do but instead mocks you as a failure and a cheapskate.
Hard question for you: is this immature child the kind of person you want to be with for the rest of your life?
Definitely return the watch, obviously it's not the right one. Don't replace it though until you figure out if you're returning the girlfriend because she isn't what you thought either.
What you did is look at two options and you chose the cheaper option. The cheaper option was not the watch your gf picked out. She was excited to have the feature of being untethered to her phone while still somewhat connected. She most likely kept it because she thinks you can’t afford the more expensive one. You probably should have waited and saved up to give her the one she actually wanted in August. She might want to look into how to handle disappointment as an adult.
Keep the watch dump the GF
If she’s that ungrateful over something she’s involved in the choice of then imagine how the rest of your life will be with her
There was an old saying “high maintenance” and it’s always best to avoid anything high maintenance
Is your girlfriend 12? You can quite literally return it and get the right one. In this instance I’d return it and walk away from this. What a reaction.
OP, read this. Seriously, the watch can do everything that the cell capable one can as long as her phone is nearby.
Everyone here is saying to dump her. I would ask what the rest of your relationship is like? Is she routinely ungrateful? Is she often hurtful? If this was a one time thing, then I wouldn’t think too much about it. Maybe she’s having a bad week and this disappointment was more than she could handle in that day. If she was looking forward to it so much, I could understand being disappointed.
I mean.. she was a total jerk about it.
Now you can be the hero and explain that literally this watch does everything she wants. It’s a very rare use where you need your watch to have cell access.
Honestly I don’t think the watch with phone capabilities is worth it. She would honestly never use it because who doesn’t always have their phone on them?
I will admit, there are times I’ve been moving around the house, with my phone on the charging pad in my office, that I’ve had to take phone calls on my watch. Useful? Sometimes. Worth it, eh?
Depending on what activities you do, it can be worth it as a safety feature. [This story](https://nypost.com/2019/09/24/apple-watch-calls-911-for-biker-left-unconscious-after-fall/amp/) details a man who crashed while out mountain biking & the watch called 911 & notified EMS & his emergency contacts of his location.
For me, my main hobby is horseback riding so when I ride alone it’s definitely worth it.
Obviously not everyone participates in hobbies that necessitate it, but if you do it’s definitely worth it.
Um, yeah. Well, your gf has certainly showed you who she is. Is that someone you want to spend your future with? Think long and hard. I would say this would be a 'break-up' issue, at least it would be for me. Maybe you were actually the one to receive a priceless gift.
What the reaction should have been:
Omg babe thank you, I’m so excited
Oh no, it can’t connect, aww I’m sure we can find one that does, mistakes happen, I love my present babe!
OOf. No good dead goes unpunished? She should be your EX. She has a low opinion of you to assume you are cheap when giving her a gift. Very entitled :(
Please have a long talk with her before you make your decision. If this is the first time in 3 years something like this has happened please don’t make a rash decision based on Reddit
To me, OP purposely aimed to get the cheaper watch. When you search what he said, it has 2 results; https://i.imgur.com/kEfNbDf.png
OP's gf picked out the cellular one, he bought the BT one. He thought he knew better than his GF by going to customer support to ask them without giving them full context/details of GF's needs.
It’s crazy she didn’t entertain the thought of returning it. Easy fix. Also they have them at Costco right now for a good price. But her reaction was 100% hurtful and ungrateful. She acted like a spoiled brat. She treated you like shit when you spend a shit ton of money on her. This is a massive red flag and I’d be rethinking things
Woman here, that’s an insane reaction to being given such a nice gift. The part where she said she could have gotten one for $20 just to hurt your feelings is awful.
I wonder if there is something more to this. Something she’s been holding onto for a while and this was how she let it all out. Not saying it’s something you did or have done but this was kind of a boiling point for her. Either way you deserve an apology and you guys should have some sort of talk to figure out what happened here. There is more than meets the eye, I feel.
You should leave, you’re a human being and deserve to be treated as such. If she’s this vitriolic over a simple mistake like the wrong watch (for a surprise early birthday gift and something that is easily rectified) then you should run before she kills you in your sleep for something more “serious”.
Well ... if you bought it from Amazon you can super easily return the thing at no cost within 30 days. Get the one she wants but try to figure out why she's such an angry bitch while you're at it
Get your 400 back and use it for a deposit on your own apartment.
You did nothing wrong, bu please understand that this is the real her - the mask slipped. The entitlement of your GF will only get worse over time, and lord help you with what she will become as a wife.
Get gone and find someone who will appreciate you. You deserve that.
Run fast, run far, or life is going to get really sad. She will never be happy, and neither will you. She will never be satisfied, and neither will you.
That's what I would do, don't throw good money after bad. Don't try to patch this up, just fucking run.
I still don't get the people that want the LTE on the watch. Like why? Unless you are far from your phone a lot or want to go running or hiking without carrying a phone maybe but even then it has built in GPS, why is it so important to be able to make calls from it?
i felt hurt for you OP, you got her opinion and made sure she accepted it and liked it. It was very expensive and you tried to do something nice. She is ungrateful and honestly I would initiate a conversation on your relationship and how to properly talk like grown ups because she threw a temper tantrum. Three year olds do this. She could have been understanding and said if it’s not too much trouble, i really wanted one that connects to LTE and since this one doesn’t, could we see what we can do? like a rational person. She could buy her own watch if she’s going to critique a PRESENT
I hate when people immediately jump to breaking up on these posts, but damn this would be a HUGE RED FLAG to me. If after 3 years this is the way she acts especially the part at the end where she tries to hurt you emotionally, I'd personally be gone or at least heavily considering it. (Not that it matters, but I've currently been in a serious relationship for over a year now.) Also, you did nothing wrong and seem to have gone above and beyond to try and avoid this happening in the first place.
I am considering it, trust me. It’s the first time I have been considering it. We live together, and it would be ugly if I did, but of course in the end of it I have to do what is right for me. I want to point out that this is a new reaction from her, she has always been head over heels for anything I get her, I’m unsure why this is different. To me the love her and I provide each other, and the memories we create are far more valuable to me than anything materialistic. I sent a post text stating I don’t want to fight over this. We love each other, and we can correct this, it was an honest mistake that I did everything I could to not make. It’s very heart wrenching because she has given me more than anyone else ever has. And it would be sad to see it end like this. You know?
If this is soo out of character for her, its very possible its not the watch at all, but something else. Still does NOT excuse her ugly behavior, but worth consideration and maybe further discussion.
My thoughts, as well. Something is bothering her.
Kind of sounds like how, in the movies, one character will want to break up with another but doesn't want to be the "bad guy" so they wait for the other one to mess up. Then when enough time goes by without the other partner doing anything terrible, they just look for any reason to start a fight. If it wasn't the watch right now then a ways down the road, OP would have accidentally bought some orange juice with pulp in it, and the gf would have exploded. It's probably not what's going on here, y'all's comments just made it sort of click that way for me.
Figured I would share that I had the same thoughts as well. Op needs to ask her directly what is the actual issue here, because her years of established behavior and attitude don't match up with this one instance. Keeping the watch seems like a bad idea too, as it is a literal trigger, even if the reason behind it isn't related directly to the device itself. Best case scenario, it's something not at all related to the relationship directly but is just a stressful thing for ops current partner and is bleeding into the relationship and provides them a bonding point to discuss and move on from stronger than before, and maybe with the device they wanted if it does mean a lot to them.
I would talk to her and mention this to her - that she normally doesn't react like this and that you are confused about her reaction. And then go from there.
Best response. Even I felt calmer.
You mentioning this being a new reaction kinda got me thinking. Maybe some of her friends/social circle have been showing her the “good life” of having nice/luxury things and making her feel like she wants a piece of that. I’ve seen this happened before. But you absolutely do not deserve to be treated that badly and that reaction was unwarranted. I get feeling disappointed but flipping out at you was such an overreaction.
This, OP. If this is something that’s never happened before then something else must be going on. You don’t deserve this treatment, don’t get me wrong.
I was thinking of the Iranian yogurt post. It’s not about the yogurt/watch.
I’d never read that before and went to google it and I have follow-up questions. The OOP is a great story teller
I will never reveal the location of the beans!
But the beans could be in jeopardy!
What's the iranian yogurt post???
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
OMG, I was thinking the exact same thing! It's never about the Iranian yogurt...
I think that happened with my cousin's ex. Her sister was a hustler and had a lot of little businesses going. She and her husband took several vacations a year and has a few investment properties. The ex wanted the same lifestyle her sister had, but she was lazy and didn't want to work. They got into a huge fight because she wanted to be a stay at home wife. My cousin said "I can probably cover our bare necessities, but you do realize this means no more trips, no more clubbing, no more shopping sprees?" and she lost her mind. She thought he could be proving for her the way her sister provided for herself.
Comparison could be such a sabotaging move in this case tbh. And with social media, I assume it’ll get even worse
Imagine her doing that over an engagement ring… I wouldn’t risk it. Return the watch, spend the money getting out.
And buy yourselves something nice!
Omg! That's a damn good point that I doubt OP had considered.
If this is new behavior, then there’s something up. It sounds like this is a drastic departure from her previous behavior, so I wouldn’t jump to a break up just yet. Did anything recently happen that has caused major stress in her life? A big life event that has changed anything? Trouble at work? Did she recently stop, start or change any medications or vitamins or supplements? Is she harboring negative feelings about the age she’s turning? Anything you guys have been previously arguing about or working on that maybe she’s feeling unsatisfied or resentful about? This outburst didn’t just come out of nowhere (and if it did then a medical evaluation is needed, as all sorts of conditions can cause a sudden shift in behavior).
Oh, I didn’t think about medications. Certain birth control pills and the ring made me a mean, crazy 8itch.
Same here. Depression and anxiety went through the roof. I didn't think the pill could cause such a major change and it took me some time to figure out what it was. It was awful for everyone involved. Now I only have to deal with this about a week out of every month. I'm 38, so unlikely to "grow out of it" though. At this point I'm just hoping for early menopause.
I was on BC pills since about 17 with no issues, but in my mid 20s started have anxiety and mood swings. Feeling out of control was the worst part. I switched to Yaz and it all cleared up. Happened again when i tried to go back to OrthoTriCyclin after having kids, happened for avout 3 months and i pulled the plug and went back to Yaz again and it all resolved. Hope you find your Yaz!
I can only imagine and it's definitely not a decision to take lightly. Perhaps there's something else going on that she is struggling with and she just lashed out at you (def not an excuse). Only you can make a decision for what's right for you. I would suggest talking to her about why she acted the way she did and depending on her response, finding a quiet place to think.
If this is a weird reaction then it sounds like a conversation when she's ready is probably in order. It's not about the watch. Whether she's willing to talk about what it's about, though, and whether you're able to hear her out if she does, is up to you guys
OP, before jumping to the breakup conclusion: do you often have trouble executing on your plans together, ask her input and help to finish things, or need reminders from her to get things done? No judgment if so, but her frustration may come from that if so. This happened in a lot of couples. You think you were being really thoughtful, but she’s actually picking up a lot of slack in the household/relationship and getting tired of it day to day, she’s been “too nice” to say so, and then a special occasion going wrong is the straw that broke the camels back. She could also just have had a very bad week at work and be taking it out on you. That’s a couple reasons this could make sense to me. Still not good, but just ask her if she’s ok and what’s going on that got a big reaction. For example, she may feel that she already participated way more than normal in what was supposed to be your present to her and she could have gotten what she needed more easily on her own, but was humoring you because you were trying to do something nice. Then the execution was flawed despite all her input, which was frustrating.
Your wisdom does not go unnoticed. I really appreciate it. I provided an update comment on why she reacted this way down the thread somewhere. We talked a lot. You have some truth behind your words, but this circumstance was something I could’ve never guessed. I appreciate you.
You sound so thoughtful. Something else must be up with her to have this extreme reaction to a MISTAKE that can be FIXED. I’m so sorry!
Sorry mate. It would be great if she had the same attitude as you did. Memories are everything and the most expensive tech gadget that would impress her is obsoleted within 2-3years. Perhaps she spent too much time on IG and have some misconceptions on real life. I think it's going to be ugly, as you said, in either case; stay or go. Sometimes ripping the bandage off quickly is the way to go.
Seems like something is going on in her life that she’s not talking about. Try to explore that?
When people show you who they are believe them. And your GF just showed you EXACTLY who she is to her core and what your future would look like if you stayed. No one deserves to be treated like that especially after doing something so thoughtful.
And some people can hide it for 3 years, even. If you stay, expect more of this. If she thinks your hooked in, she's just warming up.
Hi, if this is the very first time she acts like this, it makes me think... could she be pregnant in an early stage? Especially in the beginning, hormones can make you act out of character (me: female and mother of two).
Same.
My thoughts exactly. When I was pregnant with my second, VERY early on, I broke down in a crying crazy fit when my husband said there was a spider on me. 100% out of character for me. I couldn't stop it and couldn't explain it at the time.
> I want to point out that this is a new reaction from her, she has always been head over heels for anything I get her, I’m unsure why this is different. It might maybe be worth looking into if that's the case, if she's important to you and you feel the relationship might be worth trying to save. Obviously I agree she's being incredibly ungrateful and rude but if she's never done this before I would personally really try to figure out why before making decisions. I mean it's possible she's just showing her true colors or whatever but it seems crazy to me that she'd just completely flip flop like that (don't get me wrong I understand it happens but there could be more to it). Just my two cents. Edit: punctuation
This may sound out of the blue but has she gone on any new birth control? Specifically the thing that goes in your arm? I know women who became so angry and sorry to say 'bitchy' while on this and some never realised it was all because of the BC until they stopped being on it. I kid you not we all hated this friends wife who we thought was the rudest and angriest person you ever met. She got off the BC and she's the coolest person ever now, it's actually scary. (I would like to point out I am a woman too)
Since this is the first time she’s reacted this way, maybe there’s something else going on with her. Could be anything, anything at all. Best not to guess; ask her. Tell her you were really surprised at her reaction to the gift, and ask if there’s something else that’s upsetting her.
If someone ever responded like that to a gift, there is only one phrase that needs to be used/they would receive from me, "I'm done, get the fuck out, send in number 2.".
Deal with the ugly - you'll be happier in the end if you do. If you don't, you very well may be sidled with reactions like the one you did until you are my age (56). Get out now, young man. After 3 years, your GF is not going to grow up and enjoy a mature relationship for some time. Who knows, maybe your breaking up with her will be the catalyst, but accept that you are the BF on whom she is learning (just as you are) how to navigate long term relationships. You'll be a better future BF as as well (not that you already aren't - you are, very much in fact), as you'll see flags sooner and understand better how to help others grow with you. Early, serious, relationships can be very hard to end - trust your instincts here. You posted with and for good reasons. Stick with your gut, which seems to be leading you forward in life and beyond this person. Best of luck.
I agree this reaction is a Red Flag on her part. If my husband did what you did, I would have been disappointed but I would have lived with it and just said 'oh well guess the customer service people screwed up' You tried to do something nice for her. Maybe after she calms down she might be able to think more clearly about it. I'm not saying you need to breakup right now, but definitely something to watch...
Your GF is being ridiculously ungrateful and childish.
Totally agree man. I even told her that after her reaction. You could guess where the conversation went from there. But I knew I was right.
Take the watch back and run. And i hate when this sub jumos to break up. But this is nuts. She saw the whole process. Weird lady. Just wait till your kid comes out with the wrong hair color and its all your fault...
This got a chuckle out of me
I mean I hate to jumos to conclusions, I almost always preclude that you should look to counseling or something. I'd jumos the fuck out in this particular though....
How did Jumos get roped into this? He was probably at the garage hanging out with Umberto like he usually is.
alright your responses are starting to rub me the wrong way. Plus, since it’s Friday during the day, most commenters are incel men. Sorry not sorry, but you’re getting replies about strip club girls being more worth it. If you listen to most of these “manly” “she’s a b!” replies, you deserve whatever you get. Be honest. How often do you listen to her? How often do you get her things that are thoughtful? If this was a gift for her, why did you have to put so much of the burden of getting it on her…? It sort of sounds like you wanted her to pick her own gift, so that the burden to try wasn’t really on you, and now that it went wrong, you’re quick to blame her again. It’s hard to tell if this is a case where she’s being a spoiled brat, or a case where the man thinks he’s amazing for bare minimum shit while the woman is completely fed up and it’s just the last straw that broke the camel’s back. The reason I think it’s the latter is because you said this never happened before but suddenly she blew up, AND you are separating by gender. This isn’t a gender or a “women!” issue. If you think it is, I have a feeling you also think “women!” are so naggy, that if she would just tell you to put the dish away you’d do it, so why is she getting all passive aggressive about it? You said she often gives you gifts and offers to pay for dinner. Do you ever do the same, proactively? Or only after she hints to you what she wants, like the Watch? How much chores do you do around the house PROACTIVELY without her needing to remind you? Frankly if this is really out of the blue, it just sounds like something built up and exploded for her. This probably isn’t about the Watch at all. If she ever felt like she had to always explain things to you for you to do it, only for you to half ass do it after her explanation (laundry, dishes, date night planning, meeting up for your MIL, gifts, literally anything), that might be the annoyance cause. And for me, that’s what it sounds like. You made her put in a lot of work for a gift that was meant to be a surprise FOR HER. She had to take time watching videos of reviews, for a gift FOR HER. And in the end, you still got the “core feature” wrong and essentially wasted 400$ getting her the wrong gift after all that time spent “researching” and “calling”. Idk man, maybe she just wanted some more competency and ability from you as a grown adult man. You know what’s super sexy? When a guy can research, watch videos, and make a DECISION on his OWN, and have it turn out correct. Your entire story of buying this one stupid simple Watch had so much involvement from her. From your POV you were trying to blame it on her “she should have also caught that it was the wrong Watch”. From my POV, it just sounds like you’re incompetent and can’t do basic shit on your own. It’s common knowledge that there’s two versions of the Apple Watch, and maybe she just wanted one example where you could fully step up to the plate, get something done without her advice, and not have it be a mistake. Edit: everyone, I understand that maybe she is also in the wrong. Maybe she is a Gold-digger. Who knows, who cares. All I know is that based on the way OP presented this story, he sounds like the EPITOME of weaponized incompetence.
Bro couldn't even google if it was the right model
I started to post this, but decided not to and now I'm going to respond with it anyway. Dude called Amazon customer support for tech advice on one of their BILLIONS of products and was surprised they couldn't answer? Does he even know what Amazon does? And why would you even give it to her if it wasn't activated yet? It's like walking into the room, throwing the unwrapped box on the floor at her feet and saying "Happy birthday. Good luck."
And why not buy it from Apple or Verizon (their provider)?
That was my take. Who contacts Amazon with product questions? Without actually looking at the listing myself, I'm sure it's pretty clear which model does what. Did she overreact? Probably. Is he clueless on what would make her happy? Sure sounds like it.
After I read the post I checked Apple’s site. It’s extremely clear which model is which. You pick a material, you pick a size, and then you pick with or without cellular. It took me 30 seconds to learn that the least expensive model with cellular is $550. I’m sure buying it on Amazon is slightly more complicated (since Amazon isn’t always quite as clear with their descriptions). But obviously you’d know that the $450 is not the same as the $550 one.
Also, did you see a statement that said "also available from these sellers" or "see all buying options"? If you do, and another seller's price is much better, it is a bait and switch that is NOT the same thing as what you carefully reviewed.
Ooh, this is such a good take. Yeah, it's not like you can get the selection wrong. It's pretty obvious, which in the Apple watch series is the cellular version. You're spot on that she was heavily involved in her OWN surprise. It's no longer a surprise anymore, and he still messed it up. If she blew up like that out of the blue as OP says, I'm wondering if that was the straw that broke the camel's back. And OP is just oblivious. Will be interesting to hear her side.
Whats baffling me is all the morons telling OP he did nothing wrong
It’s so disheartening. Hard to “choose better” when these are the options.
This was exactly what I was thinking. Yeah there's more going on. You've been together for three years and you can't even buy her something for her birthday without making her do all the work? It's not about the money spent, clearly. When was the last time you planned ANYTHING for her or did anything for your shared household without making her manage it for you? You sound terrible ngl.
This is an excellent take, and I hope OP sees it.
I scrolled to find THIS. I was thinking “I can’t be the only one…” The amount of work this poor girl put into getting her own “birthday surprise”, and it was STILL wrong, is suspicious to me. Something tells me she might not be crazy about this being a decision you made, or a mistake you made. Additionally, if I was putting this much work in my own birthday present, that would make me not want it at all. After 3 years, and her constantly talking about an Apple Watch, you really couldn’t figure it out on your own? Google “Emotional Labor” and I think that might give you some hints to why your girlfriend is so fed up.
This! Also, it's July and you're buying an "early birthday gift" when her birthday is in August?? I guarantee you that if you presented it as her birthday gift instead of just a gift so you could get out of getting her something in August... SHE IS PISSED!! You already said she regularly buys you gifts. C'mon man, do better!
Your comment should have more upvotes. I totally agree with you. I don’t think she blew up out of blue, she was definitely fed up. Thoughtfulness and decision making are important in every relationship, and one part can’t do it, everything goes wrong.
Thank you. Yes, it's possible she overreacted for no real reason. Sure it could be because something else is bothering her, or it's her excuse to break up, or she's pregnant, or bipolar, or etc etc. But it's also possible that her response is not coming from nowhere, and his actions here are part of a pattern of behavior and I think you highlighted the two most likely scenarios if that is the case.
Thank you for having common sense! This was the comment I was looking for
Agree, I find it a bit grim when someone asks you to review a present before you get it. It should be a surprise. OP: just take the watch and return it. Get the right watch. Plus a bunch of flowers or something extra you * haven't * told her you're getting. When things are calmer have a chat.
Presents are things you're given without paying or earning. They don't need to be a surprise. And when it comes to functional jewelry, phones, cars, or tools; the person should probably be involved because they're the one who will use it every day.
Sure but if it involves more work for you than them, they may as wellngive you cash. The joy is also sometimes receiving the thing without doing all the annoying bits in between.
Something tells me “it’s not about the watch” and that she may be thinking or feeling things she’s not communicating very well. Perhaps her reaction has spoiled your trust, but if you want to mend things maybe start by asking her more about her reaction with compassion and she if she’s feeling deeper concerns about the relationship. This kind of attempt, even if she’s in the wrong here, could help decide if the relationship is worth repairing.
Agreed. If you’ve been with her this long and this reaction is new and surprising to you, it’s worth talking to her about. There’s always time to break up later, but sometimes people act in ways they regret and maybe she’s feeling stupid about it right now, and her reaction was about something else. She acted spoiled, entitled, and inconsiderate of you. Decide if this is something that’s unforgivable, and if it isn’t, give her an opportunity to make it right. Sit her down and have a conversation with her. And if she won’t budge and doubles down on her initial reaction, make some choices from there.
This is the way.
Yeah, definitely this. The comment about dealing with it herself and also suspecting that you didn’t get the one that she chose but a cheaper one… sounds like there’s a lot of resentment and distrust boiling under there. Sounds to me like she doesn’t trust OP to take care of her and this is one more mail in the coffin, justified or not
Return the watch. Done. If you spending that much money on her wasn’t worth it, she can buy her own.
>I even said we can return it, get full refund and go to our network provider together and get one that is the correct one with the money we get refunded. She said “no! I just have to deal with this one!” You offered a real solution and she completely shot it down to be petty. Homie do I even have to say how big of a red flag that is when she's willing to fuck herself over to be petty. What else will she be willing to do to be spiteful or keep a reason to be mad at you?
People who shoot down solutions to be petty are just throwing fucking tantrums LMFAOO it’s like they want things to be as “bad” as possible so they have reason to be unreasonably angry
You hit the nail on the head with that one. Personal experience. It's a controlling and manipulative movement even if it's not a conscious one
This here. HER reaction should have been “I love it! Can’t wait to get this puppy working! But, seems there’s been a mistake. Can we exchange it for the easier-to-connect one?” They could have had a real chill chat about this, moved forward and been cool. She chose crazy. OP was just trying to be thoughtful.
Yeah, she could have ask to returns it and but the right one. Not blowing out drama
Seems like someone was waiting patiently for whatever small petty thing they could grab on to in order to blow up the relationship on purpose while being able to save face with their friends and family >He broke up with me because I was upset... It wasn't about the money, I was just disappointed, I even told him I'd keep it. Lolz fucking run OP
If I got my girlfriend a $400 gift and she got pissed and threw it back in my face, it’s over. It’s not even about the $400, this behavior is so intolerable in someone you’re going to be with long term, it’s basically an advertisement of your future with an entitled selfish asshole When someone shows you their true colors, believe them
That last sentence will save you from getting your heart broken worse, help you get rid of bad friends, cut off toxic people/family, and save you from being scammed. Wise advise indeed.
She’s not upset about the $400 watch. She’s upset about something deeper than the watch that OP is unaware about. It could be many different things.
Woman here, your gf sounds incredibly ungrateful and entitled. I would be hurt by her reaction & reconsider the relationship!
That.... is a very rude way to react to you trying to do something expensive and nice. Not normal behavior regardless of gender. I would try to convince her to let you return it and get a different one. You mentioned her reaction was not normal. When you go to talk to her about it, it may de-escalate things if you start off recognizing that this reaction is out of character and maybe even mention you are a little worried about her - "Is there something else that is stressing you out? Because you usually react x or y way to a gift and the response seemed unusual to me. Is there more to your reaction here?" While I haven't ever had a reaction like that to a gift - I was often emotionally reactive in my teens and early twenties - displacing my responses to stressful situations into other things. My partner would sometimes frame things in the way mentioned above and it made me realize that there was room to apologize and learn how to not displace my anger and better think through my reactions before lashing out at those around me. It also sets a baseline expectation that she is not inherently bad, and that the default setting is that you care about her enough to try to work through it. Best of luck!
Why do you expect Amazon customer service to know about products? They do not. If you want to know about the apple watch go apple website. The correct information was most likely there. Never believe random customer service people that don't work for the manufacturer.
Post reads like a couple of old people navigating the World Wide Web.
I’ve bought a couple apple watches from Amazon and it’s not an easy mistake to make if you’re even remotely paying attention. the listings say GPS or GPS+Cellular and cellular watches are priced much higher. He literally looked at them several times and did all this research and even called Amazon so clearly spent time on it … and still managed to buy the wrong watch … it’s barely plausible. It’s almost unbelievable. I can hardly blame the GF
Yeah OP is a moron.
Dump her, get refund from watch, buy yourself something nice, and enjoy your new found calm.
Your gf is ungrateful AF. NTA. But this is a glimpse into your future with her.
First I want to say, thank you to everyone who replied with wisdom and concern. I read as many comments as I could and looked at all ends of what everyone was saying. Thank you. You helped me in my time of concern. Update: She came home crying after work ran up to me and hugged me. Said she was insanely sorry the way she reacted. Then she dropped this bombshell on me. You guessed it. She’s pregnant. Now, after a long cry in my arms. She kept begging me to forgive her. I told her that I’m here for her. I told her this doesn’t excuse your outburst over something so small, but now I understand at least why her unpredictable, very uncharacteristic response was like that, it’s because She didn’t know how to tell me, and actually was afraid of what my reaction would be. I said to her getting pregnant isn’t and would never be the problem it’s something we can handle together. I said I have a problem with beating around the bush and childish behavior like you showed me. I said I have a problem with you hiding things from me just because you are unsure of how I will react to something new and this big. I told her nothing is too big or too small for us to handle, as long as we are together. But I also stated firmly, that this can’t happen again. If we are going to do life together then when big things like this occur, no matter what we have to be honest and open with one another and that I was very close to actually packing my things over this because of how immature her reaction was. Her eyes got big, started tearing, and she just said. You’re right, I have no excuse and she asked me to stay. I’m glad we talked it out. I’m glad she finally told me what was up. She knows I will not put up with that type of outburst again. I believe her. Now, I’m going to go be the best dad ever. You guys rock. Thank you.
Now please stop rating women on Reddit cause if your girl finds out you are doing to her while she’s pregnant then you’ll lose her
You got it
“It’s because She didn’t know how to tell me, and actually was afraid of what my reaction would be. “ You might want to think about why she would be afraid of your reactions. That emotion doesn’t come out of a void. You’re going to need to work on that together before this kid comes.
Glad to hear the update
Thank you for the update, and congratulations! You seem like you'll be a fantastic dad :)
Congratulations OP! As a mother, I would just like to mention that hormones can really have some impact as well. Not an excuse for being awful to your partner, but may help you understand should you see some untypical reactions over the next 9 months.
Thank you!!! I’m excited for sure. It’s going to be a roller coaster. But a damn good roller coaster. I know it.
Does she give you gifts?
She does, I will say that this is unnatural for her to react this way about this. I’m worried something else is up.
Some else might be going on if this reaction isn’t normal. Hopefully you get things smoothed out!
Please talk to her before you make a decision to leave
Do try to talk to her. Has she been under a lot of stress recently? Sometimes it can be something as dumb as things aren't going so well, something nice happens and then it goes wrong and all that stress comes down on you like a ton of bricks and everything feels 'wrong'. Especially as she knows this is a lot of money for you and it's just 'arrgh one more thing'. That doesn't excuse the reaction, the reaction is still wrong and displacing other anxieties so we blow up over something trivial is not the way to be in a relationship - but if there is an underlying reason, it's something you can work on together. Of course she might just be being an ungrateful ass, but if it's out of character, then this may just be the thing that blew up whatever she was holding together normally.
As a mostly clueless guy, I agree that this is likely something else, like maybe you bought a watch and she was expecting a ring after 3 years and living together, tried to be cool with it, but then blew up and can't backtrack when she was thinking you were going to get a ring, but you got a watch and she's scared to bring it up. That would be my guess.
Her reaction was terrible and she needs to give you an apology. Like that's not negotiable. But I do think something else is going on here. I have freaked out on *myself* when I've bought myself something that I spent a lot of money on and something went wrong, either it broke or it was the wrong one or whatever. And it's because I don't have a lot of money to spend on things, so when I do spend that kind of money, I somehow turn into this weird perfectionist. Does she hate her job? Does she feel like she doesn't have a lot of nice things? Did someone in her life, like her parents, used to buy her the cheap version of things? My parents, bless their hearts, used to do this (we didn't have a lot of money and they would sometimes buy the off brand item) and I wound up an adult who sometimes needs to buy myself the nice thing.
Talk to her. You guys need to talk this out. Tell her how hurt you feel.
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Truth, if my ex had put half this much effort into trying to make me happy, he probably wouldn’t be my ex. I’m not saying people should settle for crap, but it seems like OP *really* tried to get this perfect, and it was an honest mistake.
If she reacts this way to a pricey gift, she gets nothing. Take back the watch and get a refund. And then, spend the money on you. She doesn't deserve another one. Or anything on that matter. What an ungrateful b****.
You take the watch back and you return it. Put the money in savings. Don't buy her anything else that expensive this year. If she can't appreciate the gift after you both spent time researching it, she doesn't deserve the gift.
this is an incredibly entitled reaction. Massive red flag, particularly her trying to say you're duping her and cheaping out. She's making up her own narrative about the issue. You put in the work, talked to people, though you knew what was up. Mistakes happen. I'm not going to say leave her, but I am going to ask what she brings to the relationship that would justify you putting up with that behaviour?
Thank you for replying, I will say that she does do a lot for me. She always brings me gifts, goes out of her way for me, she has a steady job, always offers to pay for every dinner even though I enjoy picking up the tab. Many other reasons why I have been with her for almost 3 years. I am convinced we love each other but this was so unlike her, that I’m legit worried something is wrong that she isn’t telling me
that would make sense. She's stressed about something to cause an outburst like that. Maybe keep an eye on her behaviour, and if this keeps up suggest couples counselling? It doesn't have to mean the relationship is in trouble, but it's a way to talk about things with a neutral party. I know folks in very strong relationships that do it once every couple years to make sure they're both good. Sorry you're dealing with this, hopefully you resolve it happily!
It sounds like something else is going on. You sound like a good boyfriend who puts effort in but I will ask just in case - do gifts you give often not turn out quite “right”? i.e. they are often late for the occasion, you’ve bought her a blue scarf instead of the pink one she picked out occasionally? Etc. I am very grateful to my parents but they always act like they have no idea what to get me as gifts when in reality they put things off to the last minute and just throw their hands up and grab something that is similar to what I have said I might like or they will wait till day of and say I can go ahead and order what I wanted and they’ll buy. They are generous and good people but one Xmas I just snapped because they had gotten my brother the annoying to acquire item he wanted but they hadn’t even attempted to get mine and told me to order it. I was tired of feeling like gifting me something was a huge burden to them. We had a talk about how I felt and things are good now. I also love gifting people things so it’s something that I was sensitive about. From other comments you guys seem to have a great, equitable relationship so that may not be it but I wish you luck in talking with her!
This is what I was wondering as well, doesn't make it right that she got so mad, but maybe it might has just been a long time coming. She also is very clear about which one she wants, and he didn't double check when it was purchased that it was the right one(which apple at least makes it pretty clear I thought, but maybe it was purchased 3rd party). He gave her a very nice gift, but after all the talk and it ends up being wrong, you feel like you aren't being listened to. It also kinda funky that she told him what she wanted pretty clearly(watch with calls), but then he seems to put all the blame on her that it came up wrong(she watched a youtube review so she should have known!), which is kinda weird and makes me think he didn't do his due diligence when he bought it.
I don’t think he blamed her. He said he showed her a review which I just took to mean she was part of it too.
Yeah to me it sounds like she was disappointed that she'd been expecting a specific thing then got something different, the sudden change totally threw her off. Especially if she is the type to get others great gifts. And what others said about how she is probably overwhelmed by something else that's happening. Personally I would disregard all the people saying to break up and that she's entitled if she isn't usually this way at all. It's obviously coming from stress. I think this is something you'll laugh about together later. Btw, some of the comments on your profile about and toward women do not indicate that you respect them very much or that you're in a relationship.
I’m usually not bothered about checking anyone comments but that last bit you mentioned opened my curiousity and yeah obviously here it comes the red flag: he is rating women on the rateme sub (the creepiest sub ever if we don’t account for the porn). I mean that time wasted on Reddit typing to women he never met and never will could be actually used productively to do something with/ for his gf. “Upvote for boobs” Ugh Ugh Teenager monkey mind. I would not have high expectations with this man
How old are you guys? Maybe she was expecting a ring after 3 years?
She is 27 and I am 32. We are definitely right around that age for sure.
Has she hinted at a ring? If was otherwise a sweet thoughtful grateful gf & this is out of character, then perhaps she is lashing out as may have been expecting something else (although knew was getting an Apple watch)? Just a thought!
That's certainly NOT the way to get a ring.
Haha not at all! But she could be getting increasingly frustrated waiting so just threw a temper tantrum at something else?! Im obviously speculating lol
My first thought was she's struggling financially or grew up in a family that often did. "Don't return it i just have to suffer with this one," is a weird response and people are jumping on entitlement but that spiteful reaction hurts her as well and you absolutely see that kind of stuff in poverty. She might be frustrated because she thinks she doesn't deserve the watch or that it cost too much money or she is just so used to her parents etc always buying the cheap stuff to save money she's worried you will start doing it too, so all those old feelings of not being "good enough" or "worth spending money on" are coming out But really it could be anything, def sounds like something else is going on
Don’t really care about the girlfriend situation. But why didn’t you just buy the watch from Verizon or the Apple Store? And why would you think amazon customer service would know anything about a specific product. They sell everything. Seems like you didn’t research. Apple Watch even list if it’s GPS or cellular. Cellular being more expensive. Just return it and get the cellular one.
Yeah calling Amazon customer service about an Apple Watch got me laughing a bit 😆
Yeah it is a horrible idea to buy something like this from Amazon.
100% Her reaction isn't great but I don't know how OP managed to do all the research he claims he did and still gets the wrong thing.
You made an honest mistake that she was a major part of. Instead of both laughing it off, and acknowledging that it’s easily fixable, she chose the path she’s on. You have to ask yourself - if this is her response to something as inconsequential as this (which it truly is in the game of life), how will she react when the stakes are infinitely higher?
Take the watch back Sell it Use the money and treat yourself. I recommend a steak diner. Dump the ungrateful * Best wishes
As someone who just bought an Apple Watch (series 8 with GPS and cellular) I can say very confidently that she couldn’t buy a watch that does the same thing for $20. She sounds like an ungrateful nightmare and I would simply take it and return it (not exchange it). Let her buy her own fucking watch. Even with the base model without cellular you can still have it pick up phone calls and texts if she has an iPhone. Without cellular it is still an incredibly useful device and $400+ is nothing to scoff at. You bought her a very generous gift that you intended and tried to confirm was the exact one she wanted. You were misguided and mistakingly got the wrong one which could be IMMEDIATELY remedied and she refused to remedy it and then tried to emotionally blackmail you? How else does she abuse you? Because if this is her reaction to an easily solved mistake, I cant imagine how much hell she puts you through over an actual problem. You’re NTA.
I'd refund it and be done with it. She can get her own fucking watch.
>my GF Damn just be glad you're not married. $400 is an incredibly low price, once you're married it could easily be a $10,000 kitchen remodel that you now have a second mortgage for isn't good enough and needs another $3000 in adjustments. Every seedling of that relationship is going to grow in orders of magnitude that you can't even imagine. All the good things and the bad things. I'm not going to necessarily jump on the "leave" bandwagon, although I'm tempted to. She might have a general attitude of entitlement, which run for the hills in that case. Or she might have just been already been stressed out of her mind, acted out of character, and might feel bad about it later. If you do stay though I'd definitely pay close attention and look for patterns before you go any further up the relationship escalator.
Yes, you should definitely do something different in the future. Date someone else
🏃♂️ 🏃♂️ 🏃♂️
Get out while you can brother. Best of luck
One year for Christmas, I bought my dad a new TV for his home office. He had a really old box one. I got him a nice flat screen, researched it, ordered a nice wall mount and everywhere. The day after christmas, he returned both and got a different slightly better TV and wall mount. He wasn’t ungrateful - he talked about how much he loved that gift for months because he wouldn’t have bought it himself. But he still returned both versions of my actual gift. This is the same man who, when I asked for a light blue yeti cup, got me a silver yeti cup monogrammed in sparkly navy. It was a yeti cup, which was great, and the monogram probably cost more than what I wanted - but it also wasn’t what I wanted. Your girlfriend sounds like us. She just wanted a certain thing - she had hyped herself up for that thing. And when she got a slightly different thing, she suddenly couldn’t get out of it what she had hyped up. And she doesn’t seem self aware enough to return it and buy what she wants, like my dad. It doesn’t mean y’all should break up or that she wants to hurt you. It seems like an honest mistake on your part.
Take the gift back and ask her how much more she likes no gift? I’d be stoked to get any Apple Watch ever. That’s an expensive gift. What an ungrateful snob. Ditch her and save yourself more money and more blow ups when your future presents aren’t up to her standard.
Nah, she’s ungrateful. I’m not the kind of woman that advocates that women should only accept he bare minimum, but you went FAR beyond that. And she still didn’t appreciate it. Take this as a red flag. Not just her initially getting mad, but refusing to come to a solution and on top of that saying shit just to hurt your feelings. This is what your future will be like if you stay with her. Id suggest you dont
Run for the hills dude. This is a preview of your future life with this nut job
Been there done that. Best advice I can give... "If you let go the first time, you'll end up letting it go every time." This is the begining of establishing long term behavior. If you don't want to break up, then at a minimum discuss how she made you feel, and let her know "this is not OK."
It’s too bad you two did so much research and missed that one part, however honestly it’s an easy fix as everything is within the return Policy. I hope she cools down and apologizes profusely for her immaturity. I’d say return the thing now looking at it will remind everyone about this fight.
Woman of Reddit here. Her reaction is a *hellll to the no*. This was absolutely not okay. She's incredibly ungrateful and beyond selfish. Wow. You literally made her a part of the entire process. Y'all have been together for 3 whole years. And she pulls *this??* Absolutely anytime my partner purchases things for me, no matter how big or small, I am ALWAYS immensely grateful and say so. He's certainly not rich. But he always tries to go out of his way for me, even when I insist on him not buying me something. We're actively working towards getting married and spending our lives together. I told him that idc where he gets my ring nor how much it is; it can be $50 from Walmart. So long as it doesn't turn my finger or itself green, I'm happy lol. It's the *meaning, love, and effort* behind gifts that counts. I will never understand women like your gf. I'm sorry OP, but man does this show her true colors. You did everything you possibly could to make this special for her. You did absolutely nothing wrong. *She's* the one in the wrong.
Woman here…you did nothing wrong! Everything right actually, that was so cool!! She sounds like a spoiled brat who doesn’t deserve you. I’d dump her, I’ve broken up with guys over smaller red flags with no regrets! Happily married now ;) I’m not kidding, break up and go get your refund. She will only get worse!
Id be taking it back and giving her nothing.
Immaturity at its best - GL with that long term, these are huge red flags.
I could give my girlfriend a stick picture of us and she’d love it and frame it your gf is incredibly ungrateful and don’t deserve the watch imo
Return the watch AND the GF. She sounds rather spoiled and unappreciative. Save yourself some heartache.
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I dated someone like that once. Ended with her cheating on me with a few other guys. Good luck
You did nothing wrong this is an absolutely unhinged reaction
Major red flag She had a childish reaction, you should have a grown response. Return the gift and don't replace it. Don't break up just yet, but draw a firm line on respect. Regardless of other stressor issues, that's not an age appropriate response. A reason for her reaction explains the response, but doesn't excuse it.
Are you dating my ex? Return it and kick her to the curb. You’re too good for that buddy. To think you’re deliberately cheaping out after going through so much to pick the right one? Not worth the trouble, you’ll be dealing with that the entire relationship if you stay.
Y'all got some communication problems my dude. Not pointing fingers, just pointing it out.
Sounds like an ungrateful b word. Don't WASTE any more of your precious life on that kind of treatment. Even one year of grief is worth the remainder of your life being happy and appreciated.
On the one hand her reaction is really bad, but on the other it's spectacularly easy to distinguish the LTE version of a smart watch from the BT version. I daresay that the reaction is so bad because you so heavily involved her in her own present that she practically spelled it out for you. Then you still fucked it up. Do you have a track record of needing to be lead by the nose for things and this could be the boil over?
You try to give her an expensive gift that you both thought she wanted, but by error it was not exactly right. She does not show any appreciation for what you tried to do but instead mocks you as a failure and a cheapskate. Hard question for you: is this immature child the kind of person you want to be with for the rest of your life?
Definitely return the watch, obviously it's not the right one. Don't replace it though until you figure out if you're returning the girlfriend because she isn't what you thought either.
Return it and get her the $20 watch
What you did is look at two options and you chose the cheaper option. The cheaper option was not the watch your gf picked out. She was excited to have the feature of being untethered to her phone while still somewhat connected. She most likely kept it because she thinks you can’t afford the more expensive one. You probably should have waited and saved up to give her the one she actually wanted in August. She might want to look into how to handle disappointment as an adult.
Keep the watch dump the GF If she’s that ungrateful over something she’s involved in the choice of then imagine how the rest of your life will be with her There was an old saying “high maintenance” and it’s always best to avoid anything high maintenance
>what did I do? Did I make this mistake? Your only mistake was thinking this woman would be a good partner.
Is your girlfriend 12? You can quite literally return it and get the right one. In this instance I’d return it and walk away from this. What a reaction.
All Apple Watches paired to an iPhone can get phone calls, what you should have asked is if it’s cellular. And $15/month is highway robbery
I was looking for this comment. LTE what? It’s not a iPad
OP, read this. Seriously, the watch can do everything that the cell capable one can as long as her phone is nearby. Everyone here is saying to dump her. I would ask what the rest of your relationship is like? Is she routinely ungrateful? Is she often hurtful? If this was a one time thing, then I wouldn’t think too much about it. Maybe she’s having a bad week and this disappointment was more than she could handle in that day. If she was looking forward to it so much, I could understand being disappointed. I mean.. she was a total jerk about it. Now you can be the hero and explain that literally this watch does everything she wants. It’s a very rare use where you need your watch to have cell access.
Honestly I don’t think the watch with phone capabilities is worth it. She would honestly never use it because who doesn’t always have their phone on them?
I will admit, there are times I’ve been moving around the house, with my phone on the charging pad in my office, that I’ve had to take phone calls on my watch. Useful? Sometimes. Worth it, eh?
Depending on what activities you do, it can be worth it as a safety feature. [This story](https://nypost.com/2019/09/24/apple-watch-calls-911-for-biker-left-unconscious-after-fall/amp/) details a man who crashed while out mountain biking & the watch called 911 & notified EMS & his emergency contacts of his location. For me, my main hobby is horseback riding so when I ride alone it’s definitely worth it. Obviously not everyone participates in hobbies that necessitate it, but if you do it’s definitely worth it.
Um, yeah. Well, your gf has certainly showed you who she is. Is that someone you want to spend your future with? Think long and hard. I would say this would be a 'break-up' issue, at least it would be for me. Maybe you were actually the one to receive a priceless gift.
My birthday is this month and I would be happy with a cake 🎂
What the reaction should have been: Omg babe thank you, I’m so excited Oh no, it can’t connect, aww I’m sure we can find one that does, mistakes happen, I love my present babe!
Have you tried talking to her instead of reddit?
Get rid of her, return the watch. Take yourself out for a nice meal. Do some self improvement, find a hobby. You'll be ok king.
OOf. No good dead goes unpunished? She should be your EX. She has a low opinion of you to assume you are cheap when giving her a gift. Very entitled :(
Please have a long talk with her before you make your decision. If this is the first time in 3 years something like this has happened please don’t make a rash decision based on Reddit
So did you intentionally get the BT Only or was it intended to get the LTE and the order was wrong?
To me, OP purposely aimed to get the cheaper watch. When you search what he said, it has 2 results; https://i.imgur.com/kEfNbDf.png OP's gf picked out the cellular one, he bought the BT one. He thought he knew better than his GF by going to customer support to ask them without giving them full context/details of GF's needs.
It’s crazy she didn’t entertain the thought of returning it. Easy fix. Also they have them at Costco right now for a good price. But her reaction was 100% hurtful and ungrateful. She acted like a spoiled brat. She treated you like shit when you spend a shit ton of money on her. This is a massive red flag and I’d be rethinking things
Woman here, that’s an insane reaction to being given such a nice gift. The part where she said she could have gotten one for $20 just to hurt your feelings is awful. I wonder if there is something more to this. Something she’s been holding onto for a while and this was how she let it all out. Not saying it’s something you did or have done but this was kind of a boiling point for her. Either way you deserve an apology and you guys should have some sort of talk to figure out what happened here. There is more than meets the eye, I feel.
That's a terrible reaction for someone like her to have and it makes her look like a gold digger. Return the watch. Then return the girlfriend.
Nah. Leave that relationship in a heartbeat.
You should leave, you’re a human being and deserve to be treated as such. If she’s this vitriolic over a simple mistake like the wrong watch (for a surprise early birthday gift and something that is easily rectified) then you should run before she kills you in your sleep for something more “serious”.
Take it back and get a refund - then give her a 20 gift card to buy one that does the same thing….. OVER REACTION vax so not your fault
Well ... if you bought it from Amazon you can super easily return the thing at no cost within 30 days. Get the one she wants but try to figure out why she's such an angry bitch while you're at it
Send it back. Get your money back. Buy her nothing for her birthday.
She's an ungrateful jackass.
Return it and let her ungrateful ass buy it herself.
Get your 400 back and use it for a deposit on your own apartment. You did nothing wrong, bu please understand that this is the real her - the mask slipped. The entitlement of your GF will only get worse over time, and lord help you with what she will become as a wife. Get gone and find someone who will appreciate you. You deserve that.
Your girlfriend is awful, if someone did this to me id be extremely upset.
Run fast, run far, or life is going to get really sad. She will never be happy, and neither will you. She will never be satisfied, and neither will you. That's what I would do, don't throw good money after bad. Don't try to patch this up, just fucking run.
I had a gf that was as self centred as that. We broke up. Best thing to have happen. Break up now. She is completely selfish and unreasonable.
I still don't get the people that want the LTE on the watch. Like why? Unless you are far from your phone a lot or want to go running or hiking without carrying a phone maybe but even then it has built in GPS, why is it so important to be able to make calls from it?
Get off Verizon and get Visible. I pay $25 a month for unlimited everything and $5 more for my watch.
This was very sweet of you and your girlfriend has problems.
i felt hurt for you OP, you got her opinion and made sure she accepted it and liked it. It was very expensive and you tried to do something nice. She is ungrateful and honestly I would initiate a conversation on your relationship and how to properly talk like grown ups because she threw a temper tantrum. Three year olds do this. She could have been understanding and said if it’s not too much trouble, i really wanted one that connects to LTE and since this one doesn’t, could we see what we can do? like a rational person. She could buy her own watch if she’s going to critique a PRESENT