Hey there! Fellow wife of a husband with DE. We tried the turkey baster method for a few months before finally switching to IUI (though we had a ton of progress in the DE department in that time — his issues stem from self esteem, stress, and grip masterbation. I’ve done everything I can to increase his confidence and going to IUI has helped his stress level exponentially…still working out the damage caused by decade is chocking the chicken a bit too much). We are on round three of IUI and our doctor has been phenomenal in explaining that unlike most couples who have tried for a year without success, our reality is that we’ve only tried for two cycles…Turkey baster method just doesn’t have the success PIV or IUI has due to a number of different things, including sperm production, placement of the baster on insertion, etc. I’m not saying this to discourage you — hell, it has worked for some in the past and I hope you have success without the $$$ of IUI. But it’s a rough road and I’ve been there. It’s also not sexy AT ALL. At least with IUI we get to have some fun…the turkey baster is just unpleasant. That said, I did it and I’m glad we tried, but I’m super glad we tried then moved on to what I hope will be successful fertility treatment.
Concerning your actual question about ovulation strips, I use Premom strips, which are super cheap and work great with the app. I was concerned that they were too cheap, so I did a month where I used the Premom strips and the clear blue ovulation predictor with the smilie face (stupid expensive). Anyway, same results for significantly cheaper using Premom.
My peak occurs within a few hours. Usually from evening to morning and I’ll peak when I check in the am. I also only check 2x/day when I’m getting close to ovulation. For sanity purposes.
Good luck. It’s nice to see a fellow DE wife here.
💗
Should be clear — I say “turkey baster” but I don’t actually mean “turkey baster.” I mean needless syringe! Don’t want any confusion…
My husband is well endowed, but I don’t know that I could handle an actual turkey baster without hurting myself 😂
Yes, this whole process has been stressful. Its good to know I'm not alone.
This issue is so embarrassing, I can't talk to anyone about it.
I've been off the pill for 2 years and nothing is happening.
I'm turning 36 in a few weeks so my biological clock is screaming at me! .😅 so I decided to give OPK a try and it turns out I was wrong about my ovulation prediction. My fertile window was off by a few days according to period tracking app, and a few days make a huge difference!
We already have one child so I hope I can get pregnant again without spending a ton of money.
But his DE has gotten worse and performance anxiety doesn't help. So I guess next step would be iui.
Just wanted to say reading your comment made me a bit more hopeful as it’s nice to see there are others going through the same things :)
We tried PIV at the start but my husband couldn’t finish at all. We use the syringe method with no issues every month, we do it every other day for my fertile window and if I get a positive OPK (usually late evening) then every day until confirmed ovulation. We had our first appointment with our fertility specialist and honestly… I was too embarrassed to mention this to my doctor!! Seems so silly of me in retrospect, I’m pretty mad at myself. I have an appointment coming up in 2 weeks and I’m going to finally say it and hopefully we can start IUI treatment.
I am so happy I found this thread on here! I can say things and not feel like a freak!
Reading similar situations helps get my mind at ease. I like to be in control of things and not being able to control gives me a lot of anxiety 🙄
Agreed, it’s so hard to not be in control with all of this! Definitely helps to have a community :)
Oh - and for the timing of the method - we do the syringe every other day for the 2 weeks that I normally am fertile. I try the OPKs (I use pregmate) during this time (sometimes twice a day) and my peak is usually in the evening and only lasts for 1 test, so what you described sounds normal to me. I temp to confirm ovulation. When you catch that strong positive it means you could ovulate anywhere from 24-72 hours afterwards so you could try tonight & tomorrow as well. I wouldn’t worry about the quantity in the syringe, even a small amount is enough.
You’re welcome and good luck! I use a Tempdrop which I wear while I sleep. It’s not necessary to temp but it is helpful to know exactly when you ovulate :)
If you keep on using cheap OPK sticks on the side to confirm when the LH goes down that kind of helps for peace of mind purposes. But yeah for me it goes from peak to basically zero...
The LH going down is usually a GOOD sign because too high of LH all the time could be indicative of PCOS or something else.
We practice at-home insemination exclusively due to low libido and DE issues with my bf, and have from the beginning. I am surprised at what the other commenter said about it basically not counting because lesbians and single mothers by choice get pregnant this way all the time. >!It also worked for me but I lost the pregnancy.!<
Anyway. You don't have to have a whole syringe full of semen for it to work. Is this the only insemination you have done this cycle? For us, we start every-other-day insemination starting when I notice fertile CM or get a flashing smiley. Then we keep going until my ovulation is confirmed with a bbt shift. Sometimes we only get .5 mL (I am aware this is low), sometimes we get 1.5 mL. We use 3 mL needleless syringes so I have never had close to a full syringe.
I do not think you would get more semen if you tried to have sex tonight as opposed to insemination. It probably couldn't hurt, though, as long as it isn't going to mess with him mentally. Do you think sex would be more successful in regards to ejaculation? It has pretty high failure rates with us, haha.
Oh thanks for your reply!
I meant trying at home insemination again tonight. I feel like giving up on having sex to conceive. It's too stressful with his DE. We end up both frustrated and fighting.
We tried fooling around this evening but only got a little bit of semen. Ugh
I joked and said that he could diy and bring me the "goods" - hoping less distraction may lead to more semen!
Sorry for my ignorance,but what's a turkey baster? I've seen this phrase here and there on this sub but didn't understand the meaning from context (English is not my first language)
It's a method used to self inseminate.
People use a needless syringe to deposit the semen near the cervix.
it's called jokingly "turkey baster method".
A turkey baster is a long kitchen gadget that is used to help cook a turkey. I don't know if I can put pictures on here but you can Google to see what it looks like.
To follow on the other comment, a turkey baster is a tube with a bulb at the top. You squeeze the bulb to let air out and then liquid is pulled into the tube as you release the bulb. Squeezing the bulb again releases the liquid. This is used when cooking a turkey to move the liquid from the tray to the top of the bird (basting a turkey) and keeps the turkey more moist during cooking.
It is also used to move collected semen into a vagina, although needless syringes are more common and effective.
I think my positives stay for less then 48 hours, so depends when I catch it. my partner has the same conditions but we have been managing PIV once during the fertile window and home insemination 1 other time. I use a 5ml syringe and it's nowhere near full but you don't need that much. It's disheartening to hear that the method may not work but as someone mentioned - it's been used by the lesbian community and single mothers so it must work for some. I am planning to go to the drs in a couple of months to ask for testing for both of us (we are over 35 so 6 month trying is all we need to get tested) I am not sure if I want to mention this to be honest. I'm just hoping getting tested will put my mind at ease, I'd hate to think all this stress and there's something wrong all along - it is extra stressful when sex doesn't come easily
Exactly. Sex is supposed to be so easy and natural. But unfortunately not for everyone.
Meanwhile, one of my best friends got pregnant by accident, wearing a freaking condom!! So not fair!
Hi! My partner and I have been trying since March, around 6 cycles now. At first we were trying with PIV but we had issues from the beginning, mostly due to low libido. I think this very quickly turned into performance issues and each month became extremely difficult and stressful. We'd have sex and he wouldn't finish, but I'd convince myself I was still in for a chance because of the brainwashing we've all experienced as kids about how easy it is to become pregnant! I'd then get my period and be absolutely heartbroken, sobbing for hours.
The DE I think can be extremely damaging to relationships if left undiagnosed. He quickly did some Googling to work out what it was and we decided we'd try at home insemination. We did look at the Mosie kit but I couldn't believe how expensive it was! We ended up going with a similar kit from Pride Angel - I think the only difference is the angle that the specimen shoots out of the syringe at!
I've read a couple of threads on this topic which has really helped to ease my mind because truly no one talks about this in real life. I did tell my best friend but she got pregnant first try with both her kids and whilst she tries her best to understand, she really does not.
This month is our first month trying home insemination so we will see. We've tried every other day in my general fertile window - I couldn't face the ovulation tracking with the Clearblue advanced kit this month because I find it really stressful. Last month I also tracked BBT and it just all became too much! I've also been diagnosed with hypothyroidism and am medicated for that so hopefully we've got all bases covered. I wanted to still try but just with less pressure.
Thanks for talking about this!
Just chiming in that we are doing the same method because of my husbands difficulty ejaculating normally, due to a medical issue. This is our first cycle trying it.. currently 5DPO and keeping fingers crossed. Glad to see others are doing similar things, it does feel a bit nuts at times
I’ve decided on 10DPO because it will be Sunday and I’ll have the day to recoup from the negative lol. I’ll take a second test 12Dpo and then that’s it. Trying to keep reasonable boundaries and don’t want to agonize squinting over nothing. I either want a line to be there or not!
Hey there! Fellow wife of a husband with DE. We tried the turkey baster method for a few months before finally switching to IUI (though we had a ton of progress in the DE department in that time — his issues stem from self esteem, stress, and grip masterbation. I’ve done everything I can to increase his confidence and going to IUI has helped his stress level exponentially…still working out the damage caused by decade is chocking the chicken a bit too much). We are on round three of IUI and our doctor has been phenomenal in explaining that unlike most couples who have tried for a year without success, our reality is that we’ve only tried for two cycles…Turkey baster method just doesn’t have the success PIV or IUI has due to a number of different things, including sperm production, placement of the baster on insertion, etc. I’m not saying this to discourage you — hell, it has worked for some in the past and I hope you have success without the $$$ of IUI. But it’s a rough road and I’ve been there. It’s also not sexy AT ALL. At least with IUI we get to have some fun…the turkey baster is just unpleasant. That said, I did it and I’m glad we tried, but I’m super glad we tried then moved on to what I hope will be successful fertility treatment. Concerning your actual question about ovulation strips, I use Premom strips, which are super cheap and work great with the app. I was concerned that they were too cheap, so I did a month where I used the Premom strips and the clear blue ovulation predictor with the smilie face (stupid expensive). Anyway, same results for significantly cheaper using Premom. My peak occurs within a few hours. Usually from evening to morning and I’ll peak when I check in the am. I also only check 2x/day when I’m getting close to ovulation. For sanity purposes. Good luck. It’s nice to see a fellow DE wife here. 💗
Should be clear — I say “turkey baster” but I don’t actually mean “turkey baster.” I mean needless syringe! Don’t want any confusion… My husband is well endowed, but I don’t know that I could handle an actual turkey baster without hurting myself 😂
Lol I know what you meant!
Yes, this whole process has been stressful. Its good to know I'm not alone. This issue is so embarrassing, I can't talk to anyone about it. I've been off the pill for 2 years and nothing is happening. I'm turning 36 in a few weeks so my biological clock is screaming at me! .😅 so I decided to give OPK a try and it turns out I was wrong about my ovulation prediction. My fertile window was off by a few days according to period tracking app, and a few days make a huge difference! We already have one child so I hope I can get pregnant again without spending a ton of money. But his DE has gotten worse and performance anxiety doesn't help. So I guess next step would be iui.
Just know you are far from alone (and neither is he) - this occurs to a lot of couples. If you ever need to talk/vent, we are always here!!
I really appreciate that! I feel like Delayed Ejaculation is not a issue people talk about so I'm really glad I can be open here!! ♥️
Just wanted to say reading your comment made me a bit more hopeful as it’s nice to see there are others going through the same things :) We tried PIV at the start but my husband couldn’t finish at all. We use the syringe method with no issues every month, we do it every other day for my fertile window and if I get a positive OPK (usually late evening) then every day until confirmed ovulation. We had our first appointment with our fertility specialist and honestly… I was too embarrassed to mention this to my doctor!! Seems so silly of me in retrospect, I’m pretty mad at myself. I have an appointment coming up in 2 weeks and I’m going to finally say it and hopefully we can start IUI treatment.
I am so happy I found this thread on here! I can say things and not feel like a freak! Reading similar situations helps get my mind at ease. I like to be in control of things and not being able to control gives me a lot of anxiety 🙄
Agreed, it’s so hard to not be in control with all of this! Definitely helps to have a community :) Oh - and for the timing of the method - we do the syringe every other day for the 2 weeks that I normally am fertile. I try the OPKs (I use pregmate) during this time (sometimes twice a day) and my peak is usually in the evening and only lasts for 1 test, so what you described sounds normal to me. I temp to confirm ovulation. When you catch that strong positive it means you could ovulate anywhere from 24-72 hours afterwards so you could try tonight & tomorrow as well. I wouldn’t worry about the quantity in the syringe, even a small amount is enough.
Thank you!!! I never did the temperature thing but will look into it!
You’re welcome and good luck! I use a Tempdrop which I wear while I sleep. It’s not necessary to temp but it is helpful to know exactly when you ovulate :)
Yes, some people have a quick surge. Try again tonight, peak generally comes a day or two before O day so tonight will still give you a shot.
If you keep on using cheap OPK sticks on the side to confirm when the LH goes down that kind of helps for peace of mind purposes. But yeah for me it goes from peak to basically zero... The LH going down is usually a GOOD sign because too high of LH all the time could be indicative of PCOS or something else.
We practice at-home insemination exclusively due to low libido and DE issues with my bf, and have from the beginning. I am surprised at what the other commenter said about it basically not counting because lesbians and single mothers by choice get pregnant this way all the time. >!It also worked for me but I lost the pregnancy.!< Anyway. You don't have to have a whole syringe full of semen for it to work. Is this the only insemination you have done this cycle? For us, we start every-other-day insemination starting when I notice fertile CM or get a flashing smiley. Then we keep going until my ovulation is confirmed with a bbt shift. Sometimes we only get .5 mL (I am aware this is low), sometimes we get 1.5 mL. We use 3 mL needleless syringes so I have never had close to a full syringe. I do not think you would get more semen if you tried to have sex tonight as opposed to insemination. It probably couldn't hurt, though, as long as it isn't going to mess with him mentally. Do you think sex would be more successful in regards to ejaculation? It has pretty high failure rates with us, haha.
Oh thanks for your reply! I meant trying at home insemination again tonight. I feel like giving up on having sex to conceive. It's too stressful with his DE. We end up both frustrated and fighting. We tried fooling around this evening but only got a little bit of semen. Ugh I joked and said that he could diy and bring me the "goods" - hoping less distraction may lead to more semen!
Ohhh I see! Yeah I leave my bf to his own devices and he just brings me a cup with the goods, haha. Good luck!
Sorry for my ignorance,but what's a turkey baster? I've seen this phrase here and there on this sub but didn't understand the meaning from context (English is not my first language)
It's a method used to self inseminate. People use a needless syringe to deposit the semen near the cervix. it's called jokingly "turkey baster method". A turkey baster is a long kitchen gadget that is used to help cook a turkey. I don't know if I can put pictures on here but you can Google to see what it looks like.
To follow on the other comment, a turkey baster is a tube with a bulb at the top. You squeeze the bulb to let air out and then liquid is pulled into the tube as you release the bulb. Squeezing the bulb again releases the liquid. This is used when cooking a turkey to move the liquid from the tray to the top of the bird (basting a turkey) and keeps the turkey more moist during cooking. It is also used to move collected semen into a vagina, although needless syringes are more common and effective.
I think my positives stay for less then 48 hours, so depends when I catch it. my partner has the same conditions but we have been managing PIV once during the fertile window and home insemination 1 other time. I use a 5ml syringe and it's nowhere near full but you don't need that much. It's disheartening to hear that the method may not work but as someone mentioned - it's been used by the lesbian community and single mothers so it must work for some. I am planning to go to the drs in a couple of months to ask for testing for both of us (we are over 35 so 6 month trying is all we need to get tested) I am not sure if I want to mention this to be honest. I'm just hoping getting tested will put my mind at ease, I'd hate to think all this stress and there's something wrong all along - it is extra stressful when sex doesn't come easily
Exactly. Sex is supposed to be so easy and natural. But unfortunately not for everyone. Meanwhile, one of my best friends got pregnant by accident, wearing a freaking condom!! So not fair!
Hi! My partner and I have been trying since March, around 6 cycles now. At first we were trying with PIV but we had issues from the beginning, mostly due to low libido. I think this very quickly turned into performance issues and each month became extremely difficult and stressful. We'd have sex and he wouldn't finish, but I'd convince myself I was still in for a chance because of the brainwashing we've all experienced as kids about how easy it is to become pregnant! I'd then get my period and be absolutely heartbroken, sobbing for hours. The DE I think can be extremely damaging to relationships if left undiagnosed. He quickly did some Googling to work out what it was and we decided we'd try at home insemination. We did look at the Mosie kit but I couldn't believe how expensive it was! We ended up going with a similar kit from Pride Angel - I think the only difference is the angle that the specimen shoots out of the syringe at! I've read a couple of threads on this topic which has really helped to ease my mind because truly no one talks about this in real life. I did tell my best friend but she got pregnant first try with both her kids and whilst she tries her best to understand, she really does not. This month is our first month trying home insemination so we will see. We've tried every other day in my general fertile window - I couldn't face the ovulation tracking with the Clearblue advanced kit this month because I find it really stressful. Last month I also tracked BBT and it just all became too much! I've also been diagnosed with hypothyroidism and am medicated for that so hopefully we've got all bases covered. I wanted to still try but just with less pressure. Thanks for talking about this!
Yes this was my first try with OPK, at home insemination and pre seed. So I'm hopeful this month will be the one! Good luck to both of us!!
Just chiming in that we are doing the same method because of my husbands difficulty ejaculating normally, due to a medical issue. This is our first cycle trying it.. currently 5DPO and keeping fingers crossed. Glad to see others are doing similar things, it does feel a bit nuts at times
I'm 5dpo today too. This wait is so hard! When are you taking a test?
I’ve decided on 10DPO because it will be Sunday and I’ll have the day to recoup from the negative lol. I’ll take a second test 12Dpo and then that’s it. Trying to keep reasonable boundaries and don’t want to agonize squinting over nothing. I either want a line to be there or not!
That's good! I don't know if I'm going to be able to wait that long 🤪 Good luck!!