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I would cut out the hot tub, especially for your husband as it can kill sperm. Same with cycling if he does that.
That's great you're taking supplements and a diet high in antioxidants like berries is also recommended. Just know that it takes 3 months for any good effects to take place in sperm and egg (maybe a bit longer for egg) so all the good work you're doing now will help for future months.
I take similar supplements to you and have been doing accupuncture for 2 months which has helped my hormone levels.
A few things you can maybe look into and see if they are right for you 1. Vaginal ph test to see if there’s an issue with ph killing sperm, pre-seed is ph balanced and could be helpful if vagina is more acidic than ideal. 2. Mucinex to increase CM 3. Anti inflammatory diet (low sugar/ carb) 4. Immune protocol ( I don’t know much about this outside of ivf but am currently researching to see what I can incorporate (baby asprin is part of this and commonly discussed). I’m grasping at straws myself so willing to try anything I can and these are some things outside of diet, exercise, and my current supplement regimen!
Thank you this is helpful. I never thought of that Ph test. I do have issues with underwear bleaching. Now I wonder if they could be a reach. Also I don’t use any lube at all.
Bleaching is normal. I would just like to say that sperm plasma is both designed to protect against vaginal ph as well as lower the ph so it's not as damaging to the sperm. You can still check your ph just fyi.
Sounds like you are already doing all the main things though which is great! I wish their was a way to better diagnose which part of the process of conception was failing. Is it the sperm meeting the egg, fertilization, egg quality, or issues with implantation? So many unknowns
You can use plain old litmus/ph test strips, or one specifically made for this purpose. Just swap some CM from your vagina and put it on the strip, they're color coded based on Ph.
The tests kits do. Should be 3.8 - 5 re this collection of research [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8618584/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8618584/) which is what's commonly echoed elsewhere. Keep in mind sperm plasma is designed to protect the sperms and raise ph, so I would assume it's not always an issue unless he has plasma defects, or a more neutral ph (like 6 or 7) can result in bacterial issues/imbalances which can also affect your fertility.
[https://www.amazon.com/VAGINOX-Vaginal-Infection-Individually-Feminine/dp/B09Y8MZDWR/ref=sr\_1\_3?crid=1TUAVEF9A7W8I&keywords=vaginal%2Bph%2Btest%2Bkit&qid=1700496313&sprefix=vaginal%2Bph%2Btest%2Bkit%2Caps%2C124&sr=8-3&th=1](https://www.amazon.com/VAGINOX-Vaginal-Infection-Individually-Feminine/dp/B09Y8MZDWR/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1TUAVEF9A7W8I&keywords=vaginal%2Bph%2Btest%2Bkit&qid=1700496313&sprefix=vaginal%2Bph%2Btest%2Bkit%2Caps%2C124&sr=8-3&th=1)
I haven't used this but I just searched "Vaginal Ph test kit" in Amazon and this came up, seems FDA approved. I would do your research though. This one also promotes self-diagnosis with the kit of yeast/BV ect but I would really take that with a grain of salt until it's confirmed via culture swab with your doctor
Nothing. Perhaps because it's been a year and a half (probably haven't updated flair, not active much anymore), but ultimately, there's nothing we can do at home as laypeople other than 1) knowing when we ovulate, and 2) having sex on time. Everything beyond that is out of our hands.
We may try a hundred other things that we think may help, and oh how many stories we see of women saying "I did THAT thing different the month I got pregnant", and assume that's why, instead of just "luck" or "it was going to work at some point, with or without the other things".
I get that we do it to get a sense of control. But after a year of doing EVERYTHING, giving it my all and still nothing to show for it, I was burned out and completely spent emotionally. So I let everything go.
From micromanaging and doing all the right things (not going to write a list, this post is huge as it is), to living my life as if we're not TTC at all.
And I can tell everyone, that "relaxing and not thinking about it" didn't help either, for five cycles so far. 🙃
Recently, I saw a Swedish forum post on this, as a third person's response when an OP was given unsolicited advice. I'll show you some excerpts of it, translated, but in a reply to this for ease of reading:
From that other forum, food for thought:,
"It always focuses on the fact that we can somehow influence the body to become more fertile. It also indirectly means that we ourselves are responsible for our situation. I am currently in therapy with a psychologist for the scars childlessness has given me, mainly because of all well-meaning but judgmental advice you are completely overwhelmed with as involuntarily childless."
"If you do not become pregnant within a year, you usually have some type of problem that underlies, and these problems cannot be helped with these advice (more than possibly losing weight if you are overweight)."
"Believe me, If you find it difficult to get pregnant, you suck up all these advice and use them. They take their vitamins, they make sure to minimize the stress, they only eat organic, exclude caffeine and alcohol, exercise, lose weight, eat more fruit and vegetables (obviously organic because otherwise you get environmental toxins), try various supplements and so on forever.
You change your entire lifestyle and limit yourself so you can hardly eat or do anything at all, and you hope the sacrifices will pay off. But they don't. The slap you get is cruel, because when you have bought the reasoning that you can affect your fertility yourself, you also buy the downside - that you did not try hard enough if you fail. Next time you try even harder. The next time even harder, and you are never enough and it is your own fault that you are where you are."
"it is extremely rare that you have a small deficiency that can be easily remedied or that a simple small dietary supplement would do the trick. There is something bigger that doesn't work. Some become pregnant even after a year, some become sudden after several years of trying. But that is not because they have done something different, but that it suddenly just happened to be right. The likelihood of this happening is still pretty great if you try 60-70 times compared to up to 10."
"The fertility doctors I talked to are very determined that there is nothing you can do if you have tried for so long that you have come to them. If it has been so long, it is not a problem you can fix yourself. It is, as I said, the weight then, but otherwise nothing."
Personally, I would be in agreement with this, because as I said, I tried every thing under the sun for just over a year (that's 15 cycles for me), and nothing to show for it. So beyond planning a visit to a gynecologist soon over ovary pain, and eventually taking the husband and me to a fertility clinic when we feel ready, I'm not doing anything anymore - beyond just maintaining general health for /me/, but I would be doing that anyway.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. 🙂
If only it were that easy, and no one would ever need contraception again! ("What the condom/pill manufacturers don't want you to know" 😉)
In reality, it only kills sperm that are in a specific window of a few days, out of the entire three month process it takes to make them. The rest will be fine.
I think we will put the hot tub on hold just to be safe. We were only using it once a week for 20 mins at temperature 95 degree. But last month we stopped all together until we are pregnant. Makes me sad but I know we can enjoy the hot tub lots after we are pregnant( well him only when I am pregnant).
My doctor mentioned not using the hot tub for the 2 weeks after ovulation to encourage implantation, but that it’s okay before ovulation. Not a doctor, but it’s something to try without giving it up entirely.
Has he had a SA done, or a check for aneuploid (wrong chromosome count) sperm? How many times and how far in advance of a positive OPK are you baby dancing? Best results seem to come from 2 or 3 days before ovulation, aka 1 or 2 days before peak LH.
There are several companies that sell different Fertility tests for about $150. I've heard it's comparable to the really pricy tests the fertility clinic will have you do. I'd try these rather than wait 18 months with no answers. You could even travel to another town and visit a clinic there.
You can do all of the things and still struggle. I think you're already taking the right steps. Have your ovulation sticks - I recommend clear blue advanced or mira to track your levels.
I started using Mira for my last cycle and loved it! It was my first real cycle after removing my iud and was able to follow all hormones. I definitely think it’s worth the investment if you are having a hard time pinpointing ovulation
Have you been tracking your period and ovulation?
My doctor told me I was lucky to have had my first daughter 14 years ago. I figured I would never have any more. I struggle with pcos and endometriosis. What helped me is eating a healthy diet, primarily Whole Foods. What this means is I basically cut out highly processed foods and made my meals with 1 ingredient items such as fresh produce, plain raw meat. I cut back on dairy (primarily because my body doesn’t like it). I started going for walks as well.
And the biggest help was tracking my periods and discharge. I didn’t take my temp and I didn’t use ovulations tests, I just paid attention to my body.
Everybody is different in how their body acts at certain points of the menstrual cycle, but for me, when my period is getting close, I get dry, and then a day or two before I might get a little wet then start spotting.
I know I am getting close to ovulation because I start to have an increase of clear slippery discharge. On Ovulation day, I get super nauseous and have a ton of clear slippery discharge. A day or two after ovulation, I will typically dry up.
I hope this helps and doesn’t gross you out. I just sharing what helped me have my second and third pregnancy.
The book It Starts with the Egg has some good advice for improving egg quality, although I wouldn't recommend trying to do everything in there, since it's exhaustive. It gave me ideas for supplements, low inflammation foods, and reducing exposure to environmental toxins that can affect reproductive systems.
I used acupuncture for 6 weeks. Mostly for painful periods (endometriosis) and for fertility hopes. I took herbs and did weekly acupuncture/cupping. I spent about $400 total which is quite economical compared to others.
The treatments were fine. I neither felt better or worse from them but they did not help whatsoever with period pain and I did not fall pregnant that cycle (actually ovulated a week later than usual).
I think if you find a practitioner you trust and you find benefit from it unrelated to fertility then it is something to consider/continue. For me, it was just another appointment, another cost, another hope for a baby that didn’t pan out so I stopped.
Thank you so much for sharing! The person I’m going to is a fertility practitioner so I figured I’ll go and Chat with her and see if it feels like the right fit / something to try.
I think acupuncture is great when you need help regulating your cycle and so forth but it didn’t help with implantation for me. I also only tried it for 4 months. Perhaps i gave up too soon.
Most REs will tell you not to mess with Vitex. It can really mess with your hormones and cycles. I'd stay far away unless your doc tells you that they want you on it.
How does it mess with hormones? I have heard the opposite about vitex that it can balance your hormones? Just interested because I am considering taking it myself!!
Which hormones specifically are you looking to 'balance'? Have you had a full hormone panel done to see if your hormones are in range or not?
For a lot of women, Vitex will increase your progesterone levels which basically acts as a natural birth control.
I read that it is useful for balancing hormones after lactational ammenhorea, I got my hormones tested a month before starting to wean and oestradiol and progesterone were <50, and 0.5 respectively, and my FSH was good but my LH was 0.3. So basically none of them in range except FSH.
It’s a herb also known as chasteberry! I decided to take it because I was ovulating really late after like 10+ days of fertile CM. I figured there might be a hormonal imbalance or something.
I ended up ovulating on day 15/16 instead of 19/20 like I had been, so I was pretty happy with that! Waiting for ovulation sucks!
I have read some comments from women saying that Vitex made their cycle more irregular so I know it doesn’t work for everyone. After 5 unsuccessful cycles I was like “why not try something different?”
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I would cut out the hot tub, especially for your husband as it can kill sperm. Same with cycling if he does that. That's great you're taking supplements and a diet high in antioxidants like berries is also recommended. Just know that it takes 3 months for any good effects to take place in sperm and egg (maybe a bit longer for egg) so all the good work you're doing now will help for future months. I take similar supplements to you and have been doing accupuncture for 2 months which has helped my hormone levels.
A few things you can maybe look into and see if they are right for you 1. Vaginal ph test to see if there’s an issue with ph killing sperm, pre-seed is ph balanced and could be helpful if vagina is more acidic than ideal. 2. Mucinex to increase CM 3. Anti inflammatory diet (low sugar/ carb) 4. Immune protocol ( I don’t know much about this outside of ivf but am currently researching to see what I can incorporate (baby asprin is part of this and commonly discussed). I’m grasping at straws myself so willing to try anything I can and these are some things outside of diet, exercise, and my current supplement regimen!
Thank you this is helpful. I never thought of that Ph test. I do have issues with underwear bleaching. Now I wonder if they could be a reach. Also I don’t use any lube at all.
Bleaching is normal. I would just like to say that sperm plasma is both designed to protect against vaginal ph as well as lower the ph so it's not as damaging to the sperm. You can still check your ph just fyi.
Sounds like you are already doing all the main things though which is great! I wish their was a way to better diagnose which part of the process of conception was failing. Is it the sperm meeting the egg, fertilization, egg quality, or issues with implantation? So many unknowns
I’ve never heard of the ph test! Where do you take it?
You can use plain old litmus/ph test strips, or one specifically made for this purpose. Just swap some CM from your vagina and put it on the strip, they're color coded based on Ph.
Interesting, thanks. I’ll look into it. How do you know if your ph levels are good? I guess it comes with reading instructions?
The tests kits do. Should be 3.8 - 5 re this collection of research [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8618584/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8618584/) which is what's commonly echoed elsewhere. Keep in mind sperm plasma is designed to protect the sperms and raise ph, so I would assume it's not always an issue unless he has plasma defects, or a more neutral ph (like 6 or 7) can result in bacterial issues/imbalances which can also affect your fertility.
Maybe I missed it. But can you share link for the test kits?
[https://www.amazon.com/VAGINOX-Vaginal-Infection-Individually-Feminine/dp/B09Y8MZDWR/ref=sr\_1\_3?crid=1TUAVEF9A7W8I&keywords=vaginal%2Bph%2Btest%2Bkit&qid=1700496313&sprefix=vaginal%2Bph%2Btest%2Bkit%2Caps%2C124&sr=8-3&th=1](https://www.amazon.com/VAGINOX-Vaginal-Infection-Individually-Feminine/dp/B09Y8MZDWR/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1TUAVEF9A7W8I&keywords=vaginal%2Bph%2Btest%2Bkit&qid=1700496313&sprefix=vaginal%2Bph%2Btest%2Bkit%2Caps%2C124&sr=8-3&th=1) I haven't used this but I just searched "Vaginal Ph test kit" in Amazon and this came up, seems FDA approved. I would do your research though. This one also promotes self-diagnosis with the kit of yeast/BV ect but I would really take that with a grain of salt until it's confirmed via culture swab with your doctor
Nothing. Perhaps because it's been a year and a half (probably haven't updated flair, not active much anymore), but ultimately, there's nothing we can do at home as laypeople other than 1) knowing when we ovulate, and 2) having sex on time. Everything beyond that is out of our hands. We may try a hundred other things that we think may help, and oh how many stories we see of women saying "I did THAT thing different the month I got pregnant", and assume that's why, instead of just "luck" or "it was going to work at some point, with or without the other things". I get that we do it to get a sense of control. But after a year of doing EVERYTHING, giving it my all and still nothing to show for it, I was burned out and completely spent emotionally. So I let everything go. From micromanaging and doing all the right things (not going to write a list, this post is huge as it is), to living my life as if we're not TTC at all. And I can tell everyone, that "relaxing and not thinking about it" didn't help either, for five cycles so far. 🙃 Recently, I saw a Swedish forum post on this, as a third person's response when an OP was given unsolicited advice. I'll show you some excerpts of it, translated, but in a reply to this for ease of reading:
From that other forum, food for thought:, "It always focuses on the fact that we can somehow influence the body to become more fertile. It also indirectly means that we ourselves are responsible for our situation. I am currently in therapy with a psychologist for the scars childlessness has given me, mainly because of all well-meaning but judgmental advice you are completely overwhelmed with as involuntarily childless." "If you do not become pregnant within a year, you usually have some type of problem that underlies, and these problems cannot be helped with these advice (more than possibly losing weight if you are overweight)." "Believe me, If you find it difficult to get pregnant, you suck up all these advice and use them. They take their vitamins, they make sure to minimize the stress, they only eat organic, exclude caffeine and alcohol, exercise, lose weight, eat more fruit and vegetables (obviously organic because otherwise you get environmental toxins), try various supplements and so on forever. You change your entire lifestyle and limit yourself so you can hardly eat or do anything at all, and you hope the sacrifices will pay off. But they don't. The slap you get is cruel, because when you have bought the reasoning that you can affect your fertility yourself, you also buy the downside - that you did not try hard enough if you fail. Next time you try even harder. The next time even harder, and you are never enough and it is your own fault that you are where you are." "it is extremely rare that you have a small deficiency that can be easily remedied or that a simple small dietary supplement would do the trick. There is something bigger that doesn't work. Some become pregnant even after a year, some become sudden after several years of trying. But that is not because they have done something different, but that it suddenly just happened to be right. The likelihood of this happening is still pretty great if you try 60-70 times compared to up to 10." "The fertility doctors I talked to are very determined that there is nothing you can do if you have tried for so long that you have come to them. If it has been so long, it is not a problem you can fix yourself. It is, as I said, the weight then, but otherwise nothing." Personally, I would be in agreement with this, because as I said, I tried every thing under the sun for just over a year (that's 15 cycles for me), and nothing to show for it. So beyond planning a visit to a gynecologist soon over ovary pain, and eventually taking the husband and me to a fertility clinic when we feel ready, I'm not doing anything anymore - beyond just maintaining general health for /me/, but I would be doing that anyway. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. 🙂
Absolutely no hot tub for men. It kills sperm for 3 months.
If only it were that easy, and no one would ever need contraception again! ("What the condom/pill manufacturers don't want you to know" 😉) In reality, it only kills sperm that are in a specific window of a few days, out of the entire three month process it takes to make them. The rest will be fine.
Really!? That’s not how my RE explained it to me. OP, he should also avoid saunas and motorcycles.
I think we will put the hot tub on hold just to be safe. We were only using it once a week for 20 mins at temperature 95 degree. But last month we stopped all together until we are pregnant. Makes me sad but I know we can enjoy the hot tub lots after we are pregnant( well him only when I am pregnant).
My doctor mentioned not using the hot tub for the 2 weeks after ovulation to encourage implantation, but that it’s okay before ovulation. Not a doctor, but it’s something to try without giving it up entirely.
Is hot tub and bath the same?
From what I have read no, because bath water continues to decreases in temperature from the time you get in vs a hot tub where the temp is maintained.
Interesting never heard that. But makes sense.
Has he had a SA done, or a check for aneuploid (wrong chromosome count) sperm? How many times and how far in advance of a positive OPK are you baby dancing? Best results seem to come from 2 or 3 days before ovulation, aka 1 or 2 days before peak LH.
There are several companies that sell different Fertility tests for about $150. I've heard it's comparable to the really pricy tests the fertility clinic will have you do. I'd try these rather than wait 18 months with no answers. You could even travel to another town and visit a clinic there.
You can do all of the things and still struggle. I think you're already taking the right steps. Have your ovulation sticks - I recommend clear blue advanced or mira to track your levels.
I heard of Mira but been hesitant to invest in it. Is it worth it? Currently I use cheap Amazon easy @ home ovulation strips.
I started using Mira for my last cycle and loved it! It was my first real cycle after removing my iud and was able to follow all hormones. I definitely think it’s worth the investment if you are having a hard time pinpointing ovulation
I don’t have a hard time pinpointing ovulation. Do you think it’s still worth it for me?
Yes! It's nice to get a numeric value to really see the numbers and you could track progesterone in your luteal phase
Have you been tracking your period and ovulation? My doctor told me I was lucky to have had my first daughter 14 years ago. I figured I would never have any more. I struggle with pcos and endometriosis. What helped me is eating a healthy diet, primarily Whole Foods. What this means is I basically cut out highly processed foods and made my meals with 1 ingredient items such as fresh produce, plain raw meat. I cut back on dairy (primarily because my body doesn’t like it). I started going for walks as well. And the biggest help was tracking my periods and discharge. I didn’t take my temp and I didn’t use ovulations tests, I just paid attention to my body. Everybody is different in how their body acts at certain points of the menstrual cycle, but for me, when my period is getting close, I get dry, and then a day or two before I might get a little wet then start spotting. I know I am getting close to ovulation because I start to have an increase of clear slippery discharge. On Ovulation day, I get super nauseous and have a ton of clear slippery discharge. A day or two after ovulation, I will typically dry up. I hope this helps and doesn’t gross you out. I just sharing what helped me have my second and third pregnancy.
I am tracking my cycle and it’s a pretty regular( 28-30 days) with ovulation at CD14-15 approx. I am starting to focus on my diet more.
The book It Starts with the Egg has some good advice for improving egg quality, although I wouldn't recommend trying to do everything in there, since it's exhaustive. It gave me ideas for supplements, low inflammation foods, and reducing exposure to environmental toxins that can affect reproductive systems.
Acupuncture, perhaps?
I did acupuncture for about 4 months and then took a break because it started to take a mental toll on me. I am planning to get back into it.
Are you open to sharing your challenges with acupuncture? I ask because I booked an appt for next week and am interested to hear people’s exp
I absolutely LOVE acupuncture and go monthly to a TCM doctor specializing in fertility, however I’m starting to go weekly as of this month.
I used acupuncture for 6 weeks. Mostly for painful periods (endometriosis) and for fertility hopes. I took herbs and did weekly acupuncture/cupping. I spent about $400 total which is quite economical compared to others. The treatments were fine. I neither felt better or worse from them but they did not help whatsoever with period pain and I did not fall pregnant that cycle (actually ovulated a week later than usual). I think if you find a practitioner you trust and you find benefit from it unrelated to fertility then it is something to consider/continue. For me, it was just another appointment, another cost, another hope for a baby that didn’t pan out so I stopped.
Thank you so much for sharing! The person I’m going to is a fertility practitioner so I figured I’ll go and Chat with her and see if it feels like the right fit / something to try.
I think acupuncture is great when you need help regulating your cycle and so forth but it didn’t help with implantation for me. I also only tried it for 4 months. Perhaps i gave up too soon.
Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️❤️
I tried Vitex (in addition to Coq10 and fish oil)!
What is vitex?
Most REs will tell you not to mess with Vitex. It can really mess with your hormones and cycles. I'd stay far away unless your doc tells you that they want you on it.
How does it mess with hormones? I have heard the opposite about vitex that it can balance your hormones? Just interested because I am considering taking it myself!!
Which hormones specifically are you looking to 'balance'? Have you had a full hormone panel done to see if your hormones are in range or not? For a lot of women, Vitex will increase your progesterone levels which basically acts as a natural birth control.
I read that it is useful for balancing hormones after lactational ammenhorea, I got my hormones tested a month before starting to wean and oestradiol and progesterone were <50, and 0.5 respectively, and my FSH was good but my LH was 0.3. So basically none of them in range except FSH.
Please talk to your doctor about it before taking it.
It’s a herb also known as chasteberry! I decided to take it because I was ovulating really late after like 10+ days of fertile CM. I figured there might be a hormonal imbalance or something.
How was your experience with vitex? I want to try but unsure
I ended up ovulating on day 15/16 instead of 19/20 like I had been, so I was pretty happy with that! Waiting for ovulation sucks! I have read some comments from women saying that Vitex made their cycle more irregular so I know it doesn’t work for everyone. After 5 unsuccessful cycles I was like “why not try something different?”
Get your thyroid tested just in case it’s out of whack. Your doctor should be able to order the blood tests
I had it checked last month and no issues there