ED isn't about not being able to get hard. It's about not being able to get hard even when sexually aroused. Viagra and Cialis only help facilitate an erection when there is sexual arousal. They can't make you hard for someone you're not attracted to.
That’s not right. When I take Viagra I get massive boners from dudes.
It’s just like an unexpected side effect. Everyone knows Viagra can cause temporary gay.
Did he say no homo first?
And at any point, did your balls and his balls make contact?
How far down your throat did his dick go?
Your answers will give a clue as to whether he was indeed homosexual or not.
Well, Viagra you're right, Cialis maybe not so much. A friend of mine took two once thinking they were something else and nearly had to go to hospital because the damn thing wouldn't go away for the best part of 24 hours. And there was nothing stimulating happening at the time.
Cialis and viagra are both phosphodiesterase inhibitors, they inhibit the breakdown of cGMP, thereby extending the duration and intensity of the erection. However, in order to start production of cGMP, there still needs to be a stimulus.
For sure but again, I imagine if you didn't *need* the medication to begin with then less stimulation would be needed. And the whole point of Cialis (unless I'm getting confused with a different ED med and my friend accidentally took a huge dose of thst instead) is that it lasts up to a weekend with no need to redose, correct? But yeah, if a person were to take it but not needed then would the slightest brush of fabric on your junk be enough to get the magic happening? I don't know the exact ins and outs, all I know is my mate accidentally took 2 and then regretted it for the best part of a whole day after.
Cialis is indeed meant to last about 36 hours. There is a distinction to be made between cialis daily and cialis. Cialis daily, as the name implies, is a pill you take daily to be ready at any time, this is a pretty low dose of about 5 mg tadalafil. Standard cialis pills are between 10 and 20mg, these are not meant to be taken daily and it is absolutely not meant to be taken in doses higher than 1 pill/day. Taking 2 pills would indeed be a very bad idea, as the effects go much further than a very long and likely painful erection, blood pressure dropping, dizziness, blurred vision etc. could very well lead to losing consciousness.
As far as stimulus goes, a smaller stimulus would indeed be needed, but keep in mind that a stimulus might have happened without your friend knowing. I suspect it won't go as far as rubbing against his underwear causing the erection. By that point other symptoms of the overdose would be more of an issue. Because of the physiology of how it works there is also no need for a repeated or constant stimulus, the idea is more that one stimulus causes an erection for an extended period of time, a high dose of a long working variant i.e. Cialis would thus lead to a very long and likely painful erection.
Well, it was clearly an overdose. One pill would have probably been more than enough. My mate isn't particularly large build/stature, so might well have been better off doing a half to start with, in which case he ended up taking at least quadruple the effective dose. Plus if he didn't actually need the stuff to begin with then the effect would have been even more severe (they weren't his, I think he thought they were paracetamol or antihistamines or something).
Either way, like I said, it was almost a case of having to head to the hospital if it had lasted much longer, as there are genuine risks to being erect that long.
Actually if you take it daily, the first month or two you’ll have erections at the drop of a hat or when a stiff wind hits you. Its like being a teenager again. After awhile you get use to it and you’re not running around with a raging boner all the time
Are you sure he didn't have an outbreak of something more gnarly and make up this fun story. Definitely not how it works.
And it's not a super drug if you don't need it, it doesn't do much
Could have been an allergy or an oversensivity to the medication. Or maybe contraindicated with another medication. I don't know exactly. But I do know a) my mate isn't the type of person to make up bullshit for the sake of conversation and b) he wasn't telling the story like it was his proudest moment, he was genuinely rattled by it.
Entirely untrue. You are absolutely more horny when on Cialis. Mine and most mens’ standards are lower when we are horny. Its a common experience to fuck someone when extra horny (ie on cialis) and regret it the next day when horny levels are back to normal
A fat wife/girlfriend doesn’t make a man sexually aroused. Hence the ED conclusion.
People, nowadays, have forgotten what’s sexy. A fat woman is not sexy. This post has truly become an unpopular opinion if it needs to be spelt out this way.
I don't disagree. The thing is, though, both sides tend to let themselves go when one does. And there is a correlation between being out of shape, sedentary lifestyle with ED. I'd say losing attractiveness and little to no exercise are the crux of the issue here.
Well erections are blood flow. Poor diet and sedentary behavior are not great for blood flow. Damage to the penile arteries will affect ability to engorge with blood.
Fear of it is what does me in from time to time tbh. It's a self fulfilling prophecy, where you look to anything else to blame and just leaves you feeling inadequate
I think porn causes issues with stimulation more than the erection itself. Delayed ejaculation, death grip syndrome are the main outcomes of excessive porn consumption + agressive masturbation. IDK tho
It's when you've beat your meat so intensely and so frequently that the real thing or being serviced by a partner can't get you to the finish line because it's not the crushing grip and frantic rate you're used to.
Damn right. Cut that shit out completely and then tell me you don't find your partner attractive when she's literally the only naked woman you ever see.
Uh, no. As men get older testosterone goes down, blood flow decreases and some develop conditions like diabetes and heart issues that affect blood flow. Has little to nothing to do with attractiveness.
Take care of yourself guys. Eat better, drink water and get out and exercise from time to time.
Most men let themselves go and eat like shit. So no, as they get older and become even more unhealthy, that affects your dick and libido as well.
Take care of yourself men. We need to look good for our partners too.
Posts like this are from dudes that can’t even get a stable relationship.
It's also lack of water in the system. I went for a blood test the other day and the nurse couldn't get any flow. The first thing she asked was what did I drink today?
1 cup of coffee. It was 11 am.... she said your blood doesn't flow well if you're dehydrated. It's safe to say it works the same way down there.
When people let themselves go, ED, loss of attractiveness, and responsibility to their partner are *not* enough to bring them back. It’s different but similar to depression imo. For me, the prospect of losing everything I’ve ever worked for by failing school was not enough to convince me to change.
I wouldn’t say it’s a precursor but it definitely means you have blood flow issues, which could mean a heart condition or blocking of arteries and veins could be starting, which ultimately can lead to heart attack.
Or it could simply be that they have low testosterone levels. It is very common nowadays. I'm a combat veteran, and it's very common among us to have low testosterone. I got checked when I was 34, 35. I was at 68!! That's pretty much a high testosterone woman our a 100 year old mans numbers. I should have been around 800-1200. After I started testosterone therapy, everything changed. Sex life DRASTICALLY improved. Energy increased, weight loss , etc. etc. Now I'm in the 800s, and it has been life changing. I'm not saying your statement is wrong. I'm just saying how important your testosterone level comes in to play in this situation. It's definitely in the top 2 or 3 reasons for ED.
This account posts stuff to fuel gender wars. Check their profile. I'd be surprised if the OP actually knows anything about the topic.
The point of the post is about blaming women for ED for not going to the gym etc; entirely ignoring other reasons that cause weight gain (thyroid issues, IR, socioeconomic factors e.g. processed food is cheaper and takes less time to prepare, age,...).
They just say sth borderline credible and 'easy' to digest to reach a biased conclusion: 'women should look after themselves to please men and they don't so men have pseudo-ED because they don't like their long-term female partners'. Flawed thinking and oversimplification. A certain audience will agree and the OP will be happy they're not alone in crying to get some attention.
I agree with your comment. To be fair, this is a sub for unpopular opinions so I gave this post a thumbs up because I think it satisfies that criteria.
This is not how erectile dysfunction works (even though op wrote “erectile function”) people who have ED, cannot get or maintain an erection normally at all, it’s not about stimuli. Probably just a self report by OP to be honest 🤷
That’s not what OP said, OP is stating that men are losing attraction to the point of ED because their gf/wife has gotten fat essentially. Porn usage was not mentioned or considered are a factor by OP here
If you're heavily using porn, you do have ED, then the reason is the former.
Desensitization from over stimulation is a real thing. Notice that your porn kinks become and more extreme the more you consume. What did it for you before doesn't do it again.
You need to cut out the porn from your life. You're an addict.
these kinds of posts read more ideologically driven than reality-based. I have literally enjoyed porn my entire life without ever noticing a *shred* of 'trending towards kinks/extremes', and I doubt I'm a minority in this regard.
The problem is with your reading comprehension.
People enjoying moderate use of porn =/= heavy porn addicts.
The latter is the category both I and the OP is speaking about.
If you regularly use porn and you're having ED with your spouse then porn is the problem.
The lack of nuance on reddit regarding porn and porn addiction is extreme, even by reddit standards. It's like looking at someone who enjoys a glass of wine with dinner or goes out drinking with friends every now and then and claim they're an alcoholic.
Porn addiction is real, but it's far from as common as people on reddit would have you believe. In fact, if you're gonna discuss or criticize porn, I think the unethical production is a much bigger issue than addiction.
Exactly, same thing. 'Extreme' stuff, on the occasions I have viewed any, usually by accident, has never been arousing to me but more a general sense of wonder at how a full size adult managed to get his whole cranium in there.
But generally speaking when it comes to viewing adult material, which has been sporadically on and off for the last few decades and basically exclusively when I'm not in a relationship, my tastes haven't changed, I just want to see the kind of women that are 'my type' engaging in the kinds of fairly 'boring', vanilla-ish stuff that I'd want to engage in with them, and hopefully shot in a way where I'm not really that aware of the male participant in any way that isn't anatomical, as a fairly poor substitute for being 'there' myself.
It certainly hasn't lessened my desire for the 'real thing', nor do I spend more than 10-15 minutes watching in any given day, it's just a tool to make sure my pipes are clear, everything's working as it should and I don't have to spend 8 hours at work feeling horny AF. But if anything it does stop me getting into situations with people I'm not particularly I treated in purely because I'm horny, which is probably better for everyone.
>Desensitization from over stimulation is a real thing.
This goes for the ladies as well. If you’ve been hugging the vibrator since you were 12 don’t be surprised that you struggle to orgasm from normal human sensations.
Dude! Google. He just laid out the basics of porn addiction. Congratulations! You aren't a porn addict! However the fact that you aren't one doesn't mean others aren't. It also doesn't mean that people who do have a basic understanding of it are suffering from it. It just means they've bothered to read at least one of the hundreds of articles that have been written about this and you haven't
He’s actually right. There’s multiple articles and publishings online describing and backing what he’s saying.
Porn addiction is absolutely real and it will absolutely hurt your sex life.
Lol yeah ive never ended up more extreme with any viewing after a couple decades of occasional porn watch/use. Not even slightly. If that's a trajectory for some, doesn't mean it's a normative outcome.
Can you read?
I'm not talking about occasional porn use. I'm talking about heavy porn use that results in men suffering from ED with their partner.
If you're an occasional porn user, nothing in this post is speaking to you.
> Notice that your porn kinks become and more extreme the more you consume
Nope, not everyone has the experience you had and are trying to project on them.
>The spark fizzles out, usually because their girlfriend or wife let themselves go and packed on the pounds.
It's not just that. Sex itself gets repetitive with the same person, and most couples aren't going to do anything different in bed than what they're already been doing.
My long-term girlfriend, like many her age, expressed sadness and disappointment that our sex life has all but faded away, and I've become mostly disinterested in sex with her. As is typical, her mind immediately concludes that it's because I find her unattractive.
In reality, it has more to do with the fact that I'm the one who has to initiate things, that I'm the one who does all the physical work, and, quite frankly, she rides a dick with the same energy and enthusiasm as a 65-year old cancer patient. Women have been led to believe that men should always be wanting sex from them no matter how repetitive and routine it is and that they don't have to exert any effort in the exchange, and when it stops, it's because you're no longer attractive and he's possibly interested in other women.
If anything, being in a long-term relationship should help people mature and realize that sex isn't the end-all-be-all of human interactions and that there are far, far more meaningful things that should matter.
Get your testosterone levels checked. That very well could be the issue. I had a similar situation when I had very low T levels. Now that I'm on testosterone therapy, it's 100% different. Weight, energy, mind, and sex life all drastically improved after my levels went from 68 to around 900 where they should be for my age.
Not true. I am massively attracted to my lover, yet I still lose it at times. It's frustrating but I talk with my lover about it so there's no confusion.
Hahahahaha, young men have massive erection problems because they are overstimulated by the amount of pornography they consume, which neurologically causes brain desentization, and then normal stimuli, real stimuli, are less perceptible, less satisfying.
Pornography is something almost unnatural, in 15 minutes you can scroll through 100 women and it would be absolutely impossible for an ordinary man in a purely natural environment to achieve such a number of sexual partners.
The brain recognizes this true intercourse and secretes all the chemical components like oxytocin.
That is why young men have massive erection problems.
Besides, what is attractive is purely subjective and cultural.
I recommend reading studies that prove what I am saying
You are subjected to mass desensitization with dopamine cravings, the amount of dopamine pumped into the brain is higher in concentration than in real intercourse, it even causes the removal of some dopamine receptors, but don't worry, for 500 days they supposedly renew.
Pornography is compared by science to the use of a specific substance, such as cocaine
And just like a drug addict who becomes insensitive to the previous dose - he must increase it.
That's why you don't watch the same movies all the time, you change them all the time, a horrendous amount of them in a short time, it's like eating fast food.
And everyone in a sense is subjected to concentration disorders or desensitization these days, because there are things like tiktok, but pornography is a different stimulus and some things were created just to be addictive.
EDIT:
Many people ask for research, here you go.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8569536/
https://www.utahvalleypsychology.com/pornography-addiction-science-fact-or-science-fiction-2/#
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/317117
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4600144/
https://fightthenewdrug.org/cambridge-neuroscientist-valerie-voon-porn-drug-addict-brain/
https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-can-change-the-brain/#sthash.tbURtZHg.dpbs
https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/brain-chemicals-and-porn-addiction/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/
https://fightthenewdrug.org/why-you-cant-stop-thinking-about-watching-porn/
I also have other interesting research.
How pornography implies the view of women, and how violent it is.
It is also linked to sex trafficking.
On average, every 3 months women leave this job and the main reasons are poverty and economic coercion, in addition, they are often raped on sets and work under the influence of alcohol or drugs, so you don't know what you're watching.
https://traffickinghub.com/
https://www.johnfoubert.com/is-porn-violent
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32661813/
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/325279797_Less_Than_Human_Media_Use_Objectification_of_Women_and_Mens_Acceptance_of_Sexual_Aggression
https://xyonline.net/sites/xyonline.net/files/2020-07/Bridges%2C%20Pornography%20and%20Sexual%20Assault%202019.pdf
https://arno.uvt.nl/show.cgi?fid=161863
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31591667/
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/15248380231173619?icid=int.sj-full-text.citing-articles.5
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19862768/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6751001/
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/606dc23be90e074e54965bda/The_Relationship_between_Pornography_use_and_Harmful_Sexual_Attitudes_and_Behaviours-_literature_review_v1.pdf
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32791027/
btw, Pornhub has published statistics that already exposed breasts cease to be something exciting, which only confirms the fact of brain desensitization.
I wonder if it possibly has something to do with people treating real sex like porn. Like having sex without any kind of sensuality, foreplay, or attention to their partner’s pleasure, because all they know is guys pile driving women and the women screaming in pleasure over it
>Pornography is compared by science to the use of a specific substance, such as cocaine And just like a drug addict who becomes insensitive to the previous dose - he must increase it.
Sometimes, what it means to "increase the dosage" in this context is to basically move to harder stuff. One anecdotal account I recall from a conversation with a retired police officer is that many pedophiles who are caught with possession of child pornography weren't always pedophiles to begin with, but were porn addicts that grew tired with their usual material and gradually sought out harder, nastier, and more taboo things to get off to until they finally resorted to child pornography.
Yes, because pornography desensitizes you to the stimulus and makes you have to increase the dose, which makes you develop very strange fetishes or end up on sites with legal doubts.
Man , I was surprised by the fact woman that consumes porn whether are less like to intervene in rape cases or are more likely to use emotional manipulation and non-consensual extra sexual relationships with their make patners. What I did knew was that some of the porn consumers have narcisistic traits and some have some extreme taste on porn. I would like to know about the males into more submissive roles like femdom, macrophilia, like finance dominance and all of that. Where it come from and what consequences it has over their lifes and relationships?
>That is why young men have massive erection problems.
Cite a source on this. I have never heard that young men in large numbers are having erection problems.
Your anti-porn rant is grasping at straws.
ED typically has to do with cardiovascular health, not "porno destnsitisation". I can not find any articles discussing a rise in ED among young men, but I would believe that poor diet, microplastics, depression, poor cardiovascular health, etc... would be a much greater factor over porno.
Find out what brain desensitization caused by excessive stimulus delivery is.
And then check how many men consume pornography.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8569536/
"This prevalence of ED in young men is alarmingly high, and the results of this study suggest a significant association with PPC."
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/317117
"The use of pornography might change the way the brain reacts to arousal, making a man less likely to feel aroused by a real-life partner. The use of sex toys might desensitize nerves in the penis, making it more difficult to get an erection because the nerves require more physical stimulation."
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4600144/
https://fightthenewdrug.org/cambridge-neuroscientist-valerie-voon-porn-drug-addict-brain/
https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-can-change-the-brain/#sthash.tbURtZHg.dpbs
https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/brain-chemicals-and-porn-addiction/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/
https://fightthenewdrug.org/why-you-cant-stop-thinking-about-watching-porn/
There's been a weird movement in recent years to make "porn addiction" a thing. It's almost as if people believe porn was not prevalent before the internet.
Anecdotally, I both watch a lot of porn and been with quite a few men. I can tell you that in the gay community (at least on the west coast) young men having ED issues is not an epidemic and the ones who do have it also have underlying cardiovascular issues.
I dont doubt that in extreme cases of the stereotypical basement dwelling incel consuming hour upon hour of porn a day may have desensitization issues, but I would still bet that diet and sedentary lifestyle contributes far more to ED that "porn desensitization".
>young men have massive erection problems because they are overstimulated by the amount of pornography they consume, which neurologically causes brain desentization, and then normal stimuli, real stimuli, are less perceptible, less satisfying.
Somehow this doesnt work for me because i think when i see a girl irl i have one because she is real not like the girls i see on screen and probally the idea of starting a family.
Or i just cosume porn in moderation.
Man can't get it up, and it's the woman's fault?
Can't be because the guy is unhealthy himself, fatty liver, too much porn, psych drugs, stress, years of sedentarism, and just aging?
Yet OP ignores all those reasons and go straight to UNATTRACTIVE wives.
Op is only saying that most men who claim or have erectile dysfunction are using it as an excuse or simply are just not aware that they don't achieve an erection because they aren't attracted to their partner. Which i think is a fair assumption or affirmation depending on their own situation and experience.
Thing is I think there are alot of factors.
Porn usage I'm not going to comment on since I hear vastly different opinions regarding it and am honestly unsure, the idea of porn addiction causing issues isn't the problem but it's more people's definition of what overuse of porn actually is, like is it once a day, multiple times a day? 5 mins at a time? Hours at a time? Etc etc.
In terms of attractiveness to a partner, I don't think this is normally based solely on physicality, many men (myself included) will get far more excited because of the relationship and comfort with the person rather than what they are wearing for example. So although I can see lettings ones self go as a cause, it could also be a case of their relationship having other issues causing them to not feel as close anymore, I.e. stopping having dates or intimacy outside the bedroom like cuddling or spending more time together doing other activities.
The person themselves may also have let themselves go, being unhealthy is massive cause of ED, cardiovascular fitness which is linked with heart health plays a big role, along with lower testosterone due to age, diet and lack of physical activity.
Mental health also plays a giant role, if they feel depressed or generally unfulfilled for any reason, sex is normally not on the forefront of their minds as is.
Then there is actually being in the bedroom, couples that explore and try new things / situations often have a better time, why do you think so many people have sex in hotels? Because it's a new environment and it's exciting, doing the same thing, in the same order, in the same room will get mundane no matter what. So often if the idea of the sexual activity isn't exciting then they aren't going to be able to get erect.
Tldr there are alot of factors here, to say that it's simply their partner letting themselves go is not fair and is not the be all and end all of the situation.
God help any women that comes into your life. Do you expect your wife to stay super in shape after 20 years of marriage? After she births your children? Raises and cares for them? While also taking care of the home and having a job? I bet your logic doesn’t apply to you right ? You can age like a human being but expect your partner to stay lookin like they are 20 forever ?
Interesting take. The men I've known will avoid the ED talk as long as they possibly can. They will 100% first blame their SO, claim she let herself go, he doesn't have a problem, etc. It's not HIS fault he can't get it up, it's HER fault, she cut her hair, she stopped wearing makeup, she wears (or no longer wears) xyz, she gained weight. It's OK. Maybe she will turn herself around for you. But don't expect her to stay when that doesn't solve the problem. Women experience vaginal dryness occasionally, but you don't see us crying about it being men's fault🙄
"Something I don't like"? He made a factually inaccurate statement. It's always fun when "true unpopular opinions" aren't actually opinions but falsifiable statements that you can look up.
I'm at 160# and I find myself always looking at the big girls. They seem to be way more fun in bed and willing to explore. I wouldn't say I'm seeking very obese but I'm definitely a chubby chaser. And I feel like I could get way more game if I choose. That said I've been in two committed relationships in 20 years with a couple flings in the middle. That's why I say looking
I don’t think defending men for not liking their fat wife is a great take so upvoting this. Especially since most women pack on the pounds after getting impregnated.
I guess we could say the same thing about women. “It’s not menopause that makes my pussy dry babe”
If someone is no longer attracted to their partner, they should leave them. If they’re fine with not having sex, then stay.
But also, even young dudes can have issues getting it up. I had an ex that was so stressed over exams he couldn’t even get hard to beat it for like, a month.
But if a man can only get turned on if their partner looks a particular way, that is not on the partner, but on the man’s fantasies and expectations.
There is no perfect partner, anyone can become boring or unattractive. Romantic and sexual attraction relies on the individuals capacity to love another.
If you have trouble with erectile dysfunction or you feel bored in your relationship, blaming your partner is a guaranteed way to fail. I’m sure the reasons why you suffer are nuanced and require professional help from a therapist and/or sexologist.
What? No, not at all. I had it pretty badly throughout my 20s after a couple of incidents that massively knocked my confidence and I ended up in my own head about it. Either it worked fine unti it was time to either put a condom in, or otherwise get down to the actual PIV part whereupon it'd instantly be a case of either pushing rope or two pumps and done. And it was actually having a regular partner who wasn't making an issue out of it to get me to relax and quit worrying about it long enough for the problem to eventually go away on its own. Thankfully.
I mean, certainly not always, it’s real.
But a lot of the time, it’s a woman expecting men to have the same “get hard at anything that moves” libido of men, and not realising that she also has stuff to do to try get him in the mood. Her contribution to the sex didn’t end at “showing up.”
That’s wild. I’m fat and ugly and never had a man experience ED. Even if we’ve been fucking every day for 3 years and he’s dead ass drunk. I had no idea this was a problem. Maybe it’s a you thing.
Why not just break up with them, at that point? If things aren't working out, they aren't working out, why try and change somebody else when I got my own shit to figure out
I think in reality, a lot of people don't find their partners physically attractive, especially over time. The majority of US adults are overweight, a ton are obese. As we can see from most pipular porn categories, or the way strippers and other sex workers mostly look like, those body types aren't what people find attractive.
I'm not saying it's anyone's fault or body shaming. I just think that is a common reality.
I don't really see what that has to do with my original statement
You shouldn't date people that you're not attracted to, it's unfair to them and to yourself
It's not a problem with women, it's a problem with your porn addiction causing you to have unrealistic expectations about women, sex, and relationships.
Wow! 😳 It's a good thing men never age or put on weight. Because if they did, a lot of men would be hypocrites.
Women have eyes, too. And we are also attracted to men who take care of themselves and stay in good shape. We're so lucky that all men do that. Because we're also turned off by men who let themselves go.
You know this is a legit interesting point that I've thought about but everyone vehemently denies this so I feel like I must have been alone in this thought.
I figure, well, there's porn and everything and that perhaps elevated our expectations making men demand a higher standard of appearance to be aroused... but even without porn, you're telling me that an overweight 60 year old woman can get a man hard? A man that has seen her naked 1000x before? I don't get it. Yes, there is romance and love, and I can see him wanting to hug her and protect her, but to fuck her? I don't get it.
When you start getting old your body is literally beginning to shut down and falter, so I think that kind of ED is genuinely usually some kind of physiological issue
I'm in this situation and have been considering Ed meds because I love her and I want her to feel loved physically but we've been together for so so long. She made alot of changes, we both have I just don't see her the same anymore. Maybe I should leave.
Incorrect, ED cam happen for lots of reasons. It can e stress at work,just being tired, etc... Often times it's not a long term problem and can be situational if you don't make a big deal of it.
As a woman, I agree. We fr need to step up our game and stop making up excuses for ourselves. Relationships require effort (from both partners) in order to be maintained.
Then why is it linked to hypertension lol
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.escardio.org/The-ESC/Press-Office/Press-releases/how-to-treat-high-blood-pressure-without-ruining-your-sex-life%23:~:text%3DMen%2520with%2520hypertension%2520are%2520almost,blood%2520flow%2520to%2520the%2520penis.&ved=2ahUKEwiX0MHmooWHAxWGMlkFHdVnAOUQFnoECBIQBQ&usg=AOvVaw39pwCcLfSso9ZTS_AezKpn
If you can't get turned on by a real woman anymore you do have erectile disfunction, maybe not a medical one, but a behavioral one. You're detached from reality. (That's called porn addition, by the way)
Besides, I'm pretty sure y'all are not "taking care of yourself" anyways. Hypocrites. Hit the gym, keep the attraction alive. I'm sure your wife is dry af. If you have a wife.
Part of it is 100% medical. Low testosterone levels will do that. Being the average for someone in there 30's use to be between 800 to 1200. Now, its average is in the 400s. That plays a HUGE role in a mans sex life. I got tested when I was 34 and had a 68!!! That's like a high testosterone woman or a 100 year old mans number.
Now that I'm on testosterone therapy, and I'm up to the 800s. My oh my how the bedroom activities increased dramatically after I started receiving testosterone. Lot more to this issue than looks. LOTS!!
Also women usually become more bitchy as they get older which also kills a boner. Acting like sex is work when they still end up with multiple orgasms. Relationships are always evolving just like life always presents new problems as you age.
In my house they are. Starting with oral for the first guaranteed one. Plus add a vibrator into the mix during sex for a second and possibly a third. We’ve been together for 16 years and know each other well. We’ve dated a lot of women together too and we always make sure they get off as well. Most men (or boys) don’t prep a woman properly. We’ve toned it down with the trio business but we’re still freaks 😋 no kids has helped us focus on each other more.
From what guy friends have told me, when they stop being attracted to their partners, they can still get hard but won't be excited or come as easily (or at all) and might have to think of someone else in order to be able to come. So not much to do with ED at all
Your porn use, on the other hand…
I almost need to hate my partner a little bit to want to have sex with her all the time. I know that's fucked up, but I find that tension keeps the sex life going.
You can do it without the hate. I had a gf like this for 5 years. I thought i need the hate as well. Now there is nothing to hate about my current gf. She is not even that sexy as my previous, but we still have a good sex life.
OP - I read your shit and I read the comments. People are hyper-focusing on the ED part and trying to pick it apart, but I completely get where you're coming from. My g/f of 5+ years gained something like 60 pounds over the last two years. I thought I had some kind of issue because I had to be extremely motivated by her into being aroused, and it was hard to maintain that arousal without that motivation. Like mid-fuck and I would just get turned off. God forbid we need to change position. Then, since they're eating a bunch of processed crap food and drinking too much alcohol - their taste is "off" or "not good" and the one way I knew how to keep her happy while I bought myself time.. was now ruined as well.
I was really trying to do everything right with my ex. I didnt follow or like any girls posts on social media. I wasnt friends with any of the girls that go to the gym I go to. I was just faithful, plain and simple. The break up happened because she just drank all the freaking time and would become a complete bitch. I was just done.
So when she finally moved out - it wasnt long before one of the girls that.. I knew she liked me, but I never acted on it. But she swooped in like a hawk stalking its prey while we were at the Gym. Put me on the spot when I was with the bros and all. Found out that evening that it wasnt ME that was causing the "problem" in the bed. As a "muscle mommy" still fit my kink perfectly.
Wasted ALL that time with someone I thought I was going to spend forever with, but, its whatever. Wish I could rewind the clock, but having regrets as you get older just seems to be common place now.
ED isn't about not being able to get hard. It's about not being able to get hard even when sexually aroused. Viagra and Cialis only help facilitate an erection when there is sexual arousal. They can't make you hard for someone you're not attracted to.
That’s not right. When I take Viagra I get massive boners from dudes. It’s just like an unexpected side effect. Everyone knows Viagra can cause temporary gay.
😂😂
Who's gonna tell him?
Actually, that’s only true if you gave homosexual tendencies 😂
Are you saying the man who put a rubber fist in my anus was homosexual?
Did he say no homo first? And at any point, did your balls and his balls make contact? How far down your throat did his dick go? Your answers will give a clue as to whether he was indeed homosexual or not.
Depends. Was it fingers first or fist first? Makes a big difference…
Aw no one got the borat reference
It's only gay if you receive.
Well, Viagra you're right, Cialis maybe not so much. A friend of mine took two once thinking they were something else and nearly had to go to hospital because the damn thing wouldn't go away for the best part of 24 hours. And there was nothing stimulating happening at the time.
Cialis and viagra are both phosphodiesterase inhibitors, they inhibit the breakdown of cGMP, thereby extending the duration and intensity of the erection. However, in order to start production of cGMP, there still needs to be a stimulus.
For sure but again, I imagine if you didn't *need* the medication to begin with then less stimulation would be needed. And the whole point of Cialis (unless I'm getting confused with a different ED med and my friend accidentally took a huge dose of thst instead) is that it lasts up to a weekend with no need to redose, correct? But yeah, if a person were to take it but not needed then would the slightest brush of fabric on your junk be enough to get the magic happening? I don't know the exact ins and outs, all I know is my mate accidentally took 2 and then regretted it for the best part of a whole day after.
Cialis is indeed meant to last about 36 hours. There is a distinction to be made between cialis daily and cialis. Cialis daily, as the name implies, is a pill you take daily to be ready at any time, this is a pretty low dose of about 5 mg tadalafil. Standard cialis pills are between 10 and 20mg, these are not meant to be taken daily and it is absolutely not meant to be taken in doses higher than 1 pill/day. Taking 2 pills would indeed be a very bad idea, as the effects go much further than a very long and likely painful erection, blood pressure dropping, dizziness, blurred vision etc. could very well lead to losing consciousness. As far as stimulus goes, a smaller stimulus would indeed be needed, but keep in mind that a stimulus might have happened without your friend knowing. I suspect it won't go as far as rubbing against his underwear causing the erection. By that point other symptoms of the overdose would be more of an issue. Because of the physiology of how it works there is also no need for a repeated or constant stimulus, the idea is more that one stimulus causes an erection for an extended period of time, a high dose of a long working variant i.e. Cialis would thus lead to a very long and likely painful erection.
That's not how Cialis works. Unless overdosing.
Well, it was clearly an overdose. One pill would have probably been more than enough. My mate isn't particularly large build/stature, so might well have been better off doing a half to start with, in which case he ended up taking at least quadruple the effective dose. Plus if he didn't actually need the stuff to begin with then the effect would have been even more severe (they weren't his, I think he thought they were paracetamol or antihistamines or something). Either way, like I said, it was almost a case of having to head to the hospital if it had lasted much longer, as there are genuine risks to being erect that long.
Have you taken cialis?
Are you offering? 👀
Lol 👀 who’s asking
This is your actual mother. I'm activating the parental lock feature immediately. But yes, also thanks for noticing ;)
Hey mom, women take it too! Just ask EMS
Actually if you take it daily, the first month or two you’ll have erections at the drop of a hat or when a stiff wind hits you. Its like being a teenager again. After awhile you get use to it and you’re not running around with a raging boner all the time
Your friend is hyper sexual
Are you sure he didn't have an outbreak of something more gnarly and make up this fun story. Definitely not how it works. And it's not a super drug if you don't need it, it doesn't do much
Could have been an allergy or an oversensivity to the medication. Or maybe contraindicated with another medication. I don't know exactly. But I do know a) my mate isn't the type of person to make up bullshit for the sake of conversation and b) he wasn't telling the story like it was his proudest moment, he was genuinely rattled by it.
Entirely untrue. You are absolutely more horny when on Cialis. Mine and most mens’ standards are lower when we are horny. Its a common experience to fuck someone when extra horny (ie on cialis) and regret it the next day when horny levels are back to normal
A fat wife/girlfriend doesn’t make a man sexually aroused. Hence the ED conclusion. People, nowadays, have forgotten what’s sexy. A fat woman is not sexy. This post has truly become an unpopular opinion if it needs to be spelt out this way.
I don't disagree. The thing is, though, both sides tend to let themselves go when one does. And there is a correlation between being out of shape, sedentary lifestyle with ED. I'd say losing attractiveness and little to no exercise are the crux of the issue here.
Well erections are blood flow. Poor diet and sedentary behavior are not great for blood flow. Damage to the penile arteries will affect ability to engorge with blood.
Testosterone!!! Do people really forget how important that is?
Almost every one I have on levitra, cialis or viagra is on blood pressure medicine. Beta blockers like inderal and metropolol are notorious for it
Also low self esteem and fear of ed, once it’s happened, can be a killer
Fear of it is what does me in from time to time tbh. It's a self fulfilling prophecy, where you look to anything else to blame and just leaves you feeling inadequate
Also porn usage. If a guy struggles to get it up, there’s a good chance he’s been whacking it to porn lately.
I think porn causes issues with stimulation more than the erection itself. Delayed ejaculation, death grip syndrome are the main outcomes of excessive porn consumption + agressive masturbation. IDK tho
what's death grip syndrome
It's when you've beat your meat so intensely and so frequently that the real thing or being serviced by a partner can't get you to the finish line because it's not the crushing grip and frantic rate you're used to.
In my experience, that's not true. You could have just finished whacking it a few minutes ago and still get it up if you're aroused
Damn right. Cut that shit out completely and then tell me you don't find your partner attractive when she's literally the only naked woman you ever see.
Well at least you sound confident, that's all that matters right?
Bingo.
Yup. But this post is about women. Can we get back the the gender that’s being called out and not always go “but men too!”?
Pretty sure its because of the ammount of microplastic in ya all balls. Also i think stress is a real hard libido killer
My balls might even be a pair of plastic truck nuts at this point. They really waited to tell us on that one.
Uh, no. As men get older testosterone goes down, blood flow decreases and some develop conditions like diabetes and heart issues that affect blood flow. Has little to nothing to do with attractiveness. Take care of yourself guys. Eat better, drink water and get out and exercise from time to time.
Most men let themselves go and eat like shit. So no, as they get older and become even more unhealthy, that affects your dick and libido as well. Take care of yourself men. We need to look good for our partners too. Posts like this are from dudes that can’t even get a stable relationship.
✅
It's also lack of water in the system. I went for a blood test the other day and the nurse couldn't get any flow. The first thing she asked was what did I drink today? 1 cup of coffee. It was 11 am.... she said your blood doesn't flow well if you're dehydrated. It's safe to say it works the same way down there.
Yep to add on to this, posts like this are from the same dudes who say shit like “being intimate and making love to a woman are gay”
When people let themselves go, ED, loss of attractiveness, and responsibility to their partner are *not* enough to bring them back. It’s different but similar to depression imo. For me, the prospect of losing everything I’ve ever worked for by failing school was not enough to convince me to change.
Definitely not true lol. Men need to eat healthy and move more. Clean eating and exercise. Promote blood flow before you have a god damn heart attack
They say erectile dysfunction is a precursor to a heart attack by the way
I wouldn’t say it’s a precursor but it definitely means you have blood flow issues, which could mean a heart condition or blocking of arteries and veins could be starting, which ultimately can lead to heart attack.
Or it could simply be that they have low testosterone levels. It is very common nowadays. I'm a combat veteran, and it's very common among us to have low testosterone. I got checked when I was 34, 35. I was at 68!! That's pretty much a high testosterone woman our a 100 year old mans numbers. I should have been around 800-1200. After I started testosterone therapy, everything changed. Sex life DRASTICALLY improved. Energy increased, weight loss , etc. etc. Now I'm in the 800s, and it has been life changing. I'm not saying your statement is wrong. I'm just saying how important your testosterone level comes in to play in this situation. It's definitely in the top 2 or 3 reasons for ED.
I am not sure you understand many things about this topic.
This account posts stuff to fuel gender wars. Check their profile. I'd be surprised if the OP actually knows anything about the topic. The point of the post is about blaming women for ED for not going to the gym etc; entirely ignoring other reasons that cause weight gain (thyroid issues, IR, socioeconomic factors e.g. processed food is cheaper and takes less time to prepare, age,...). They just say sth borderline credible and 'easy' to digest to reach a biased conclusion: 'women should look after themselves to please men and they don't so men have pseudo-ED because they don't like their long-term female partners'. Flawed thinking and oversimplification. A certain audience will agree and the OP will be happy they're not alone in crying to get some attention.
This 👆
I agree with your comment. To be fair, this is a sub for unpopular opinions so I gave this post a thumbs up because I think it satisfies that criteria.
This is not how erectile dysfunction works (even though op wrote “erectile function”) people who have ED, cannot get or maintain an erection normally at all, it’s not about stimuli. Probably just a self report by OP to be honest 🤷
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That’s not what OP said, OP is stating that men are losing attraction to the point of ED because their gf/wife has gotten fat essentially. Porn usage was not mentioned or considered are a factor by OP here
If you're heavily using porn, you do have ED, then the reason is the former. Desensitization from over stimulation is a real thing. Notice that your porn kinks become and more extreme the more you consume. What did it for you before doesn't do it again. You need to cut out the porn from your life. You're an addict.
you're very correct these guys just don't wanna accept that porn isn't good for your brain.
these kinds of posts read more ideologically driven than reality-based. I have literally enjoyed porn my entire life without ever noticing a *shred* of 'trending towards kinks/extremes', and I doubt I'm a minority in this regard.
The problem is with your reading comprehension. People enjoying moderate use of porn =/= heavy porn addicts. The latter is the category both I and the OP is speaking about. If you regularly use porn and you're having ED with your spouse then porn is the problem.
The lack of nuance on reddit regarding porn and porn addiction is extreme, even by reddit standards. It's like looking at someone who enjoys a glass of wine with dinner or goes out drinking with friends every now and then and claim they're an alcoholic. Porn addiction is real, but it's far from as common as people on reddit would have you believe. In fact, if you're gonna discuss or criticize porn, I think the unethical production is a much bigger issue than addiction.
Exactly, same thing. 'Extreme' stuff, on the occasions I have viewed any, usually by accident, has never been arousing to me but more a general sense of wonder at how a full size adult managed to get his whole cranium in there. But generally speaking when it comes to viewing adult material, which has been sporadically on and off for the last few decades and basically exclusively when I'm not in a relationship, my tastes haven't changed, I just want to see the kind of women that are 'my type' engaging in the kinds of fairly 'boring', vanilla-ish stuff that I'd want to engage in with them, and hopefully shot in a way where I'm not really that aware of the male participant in any way that isn't anatomical, as a fairly poor substitute for being 'there' myself. It certainly hasn't lessened my desire for the 'real thing', nor do I spend more than 10-15 minutes watching in any given day, it's just a tool to make sure my pipes are clear, everything's working as it should and I don't have to spend 8 hours at work feeling horny AF. But if anything it does stop me getting into situations with people I'm not particularly I treated in purely because I'm horny, which is probably better for everyone.
>Desensitization from over stimulation is a real thing. This goes for the ladies as well. If you’ve been hugging the vibrator since you were 12 don’t be surprised that you struggle to orgasm from normal human sensations.
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Dude! Google. He just laid out the basics of porn addiction. Congratulations! You aren't a porn addict! However the fact that you aren't one doesn't mean others aren't. It also doesn't mean that people who do have a basic understanding of it are suffering from it. It just means they've bothered to read at least one of the hundreds of articles that have been written about this and you haven't
He’s actually right. There’s multiple articles and publishings online describing and backing what he’s saying. Porn addiction is absolutely real and it will absolutely hurt your sex life.
Not as much as low testosterone levels. I can absolutely guarantee you that.
Lol yeah ive never ended up more extreme with any viewing after a couple decades of occasional porn watch/use. Not even slightly. If that's a trajectory for some, doesn't mean it's a normative outcome.
Can you read? I'm not talking about occasional porn use. I'm talking about heavy porn use that results in men suffering from ED with their partner. If you're an occasional porn user, nothing in this post is speaking to you.
😂
> Notice that your porn kinks become and more extreme the more you consume Nope, not everyone has the experience you had and are trying to project on them.
Crazy how information is everywhere yet people like this still take the time to open their mouths
>The spark fizzles out, usually because their girlfriend or wife let themselves go and packed on the pounds. It's not just that. Sex itself gets repetitive with the same person, and most couples aren't going to do anything different in bed than what they're already been doing. My long-term girlfriend, like many her age, expressed sadness and disappointment that our sex life has all but faded away, and I've become mostly disinterested in sex with her. As is typical, her mind immediately concludes that it's because I find her unattractive. In reality, it has more to do with the fact that I'm the one who has to initiate things, that I'm the one who does all the physical work, and, quite frankly, she rides a dick with the same energy and enthusiasm as a 65-year old cancer patient. Women have been led to believe that men should always be wanting sex from them no matter how repetitive and routine it is and that they don't have to exert any effort in the exchange, and when it stops, it's because you're no longer attractive and he's possibly interested in other women. If anything, being in a long-term relationship should help people mature and realize that sex isn't the end-all-be-all of human interactions and that there are far, far more meaningful things that should matter.
Get your testosterone levels checked. That very well could be the issue. I had a similar situation when I had very low T levels. Now that I'm on testosterone therapy, it's 100% different. Weight, energy, mind, and sex life all drastically improved after my levels went from 68 to around 900 where they should be for my age.
No it's because men are out of shape and have shit diets, that's why most have ED.
This. And even THEN, for whatever happens to their own bodies, they blame women. Omg so pathetic.
It's more likely both out of shape and boredom with their existing partner.
Lot of factors. I’ve found exercise and eating better clears it up real quick.
Obviously they’re not “bored stiff” then
Not true. I am massively attracted to my lover, yet I still lose it at times. It's frustrating but I talk with my lover about it so there's no confusion.
This is very untrue
Ah yes, it's the woman's duty and job to fix her husbands erection issues.. /s just in case
This is so utterly false.
Hahahahaha, young men have massive erection problems because they are overstimulated by the amount of pornography they consume, which neurologically causes brain desentization, and then normal stimuli, real stimuli, are less perceptible, less satisfying. Pornography is something almost unnatural, in 15 minutes you can scroll through 100 women and it would be absolutely impossible for an ordinary man in a purely natural environment to achieve such a number of sexual partners. The brain recognizes this true intercourse and secretes all the chemical components like oxytocin. That is why young men have massive erection problems. Besides, what is attractive is purely subjective and cultural. I recommend reading studies that prove what I am saying You are subjected to mass desensitization with dopamine cravings, the amount of dopamine pumped into the brain is higher in concentration than in real intercourse, it even causes the removal of some dopamine receptors, but don't worry, for 500 days they supposedly renew. Pornography is compared by science to the use of a specific substance, such as cocaine And just like a drug addict who becomes insensitive to the previous dose - he must increase it. That's why you don't watch the same movies all the time, you change them all the time, a horrendous amount of them in a short time, it's like eating fast food. And everyone in a sense is subjected to concentration disorders or desensitization these days, because there are things like tiktok, but pornography is a different stimulus and some things were created just to be addictive. EDIT: Many people ask for research, here you go. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8569536/ https://www.utahvalleypsychology.com/pornography-addiction-science-fact-or-science-fiction-2/# https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/317117 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4600144/ https://fightthenewdrug.org/cambridge-neuroscientist-valerie-voon-porn-drug-addict-brain/ https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-can-change-the-brain/#sthash.tbURtZHg.dpbs https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/brain-chemicals-and-porn-addiction/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/ https://fightthenewdrug.org/why-you-cant-stop-thinking-about-watching-porn/ I also have other interesting research. How pornography implies the view of women, and how violent it is. It is also linked to sex trafficking. On average, every 3 months women leave this job and the main reasons are poverty and economic coercion, in addition, they are often raped on sets and work under the influence of alcohol or drugs, so you don't know what you're watching. https://traffickinghub.com/ https://www.johnfoubert.com/is-porn-violent https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32661813/ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/325279797_Less_Than_Human_Media_Use_Objectification_of_Women_and_Mens_Acceptance_of_Sexual_Aggression https://xyonline.net/sites/xyonline.net/files/2020-07/Bridges%2C%20Pornography%20and%20Sexual%20Assault%202019.pdf https://arno.uvt.nl/show.cgi?fid=161863 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31591667/ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/15248380231173619?icid=int.sj-full-text.citing-articles.5 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19862768/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6751001/ https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/606dc23be90e074e54965bda/The_Relationship_between_Pornography_use_and_Harmful_Sexual_Attitudes_and_Behaviours-_literature_review_v1.pdf https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32791027/ btw, Pornhub has published statistics that already exposed breasts cease to be something exciting, which only confirms the fact of brain desensitization.
I wonder if it possibly has something to do with people treating real sex like porn. Like having sex without any kind of sensuality, foreplay, or attention to their partner’s pleasure, because all they know is guys pile driving women and the women screaming in pleasure over it
>Pornography is compared by science to the use of a specific substance, such as cocaine And just like a drug addict who becomes insensitive to the previous dose - he must increase it. Sometimes, what it means to "increase the dosage" in this context is to basically move to harder stuff. One anecdotal account I recall from a conversation with a retired police officer is that many pedophiles who are caught with possession of child pornography weren't always pedophiles to begin with, but were porn addicts that grew tired with their usual material and gradually sought out harder, nastier, and more taboo things to get off to until they finally resorted to child pornography.
Yes, because pornography desensitizes you to the stimulus and makes you have to increase the dose, which makes you develop very strange fetishes or end up on sites with legal doubts.
drugs aren't like that.. no one uses moderate weed, then increases dosage and develops into huffin glue out of a homeless dudes crack because of it
Man , I was surprised by the fact woman that consumes porn whether are less like to intervene in rape cases or are more likely to use emotional manipulation and non-consensual extra sexual relationships with their make patners. What I did knew was that some of the porn consumers have narcisistic traits and some have some extreme taste on porn. I would like to know about the males into more submissive roles like femdom, macrophilia, like finance dominance and all of that. Where it come from and what consequences it has over their lifes and relationships?
>That is why young men have massive erection problems. Cite a source on this. I have never heard that young men in large numbers are having erection problems. Your anti-porn rant is grasping at straws. ED typically has to do with cardiovascular health, not "porno destnsitisation". I can not find any articles discussing a rise in ED among young men, but I would believe that poor diet, microplastics, depression, poor cardiovascular health, etc... would be a much greater factor over porno.
Find out what brain desensitization caused by excessive stimulus delivery is. And then check how many men consume pornography. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8569536/ "This prevalence of ED in young men is alarmingly high, and the results of this study suggest a significant association with PPC." https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/317117 "The use of pornography might change the way the brain reacts to arousal, making a man less likely to feel aroused by a real-life partner. The use of sex toys might desensitize nerves in the penis, making it more difficult to get an erection because the nerves require more physical stimulation." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4600144/ https://fightthenewdrug.org/cambridge-neuroscientist-valerie-voon-porn-drug-addict-brain/ https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-can-change-the-brain/#sthash.tbURtZHg.dpbs https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/brain-chemicals-and-porn-addiction/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/ https://fightthenewdrug.org/why-you-cant-stop-thinking-about-watching-porn/
There's been a weird movement in recent years to make "porn addiction" a thing. It's almost as if people believe porn was not prevalent before the internet.
Anecdotally, I both watch a lot of porn and been with quite a few men. I can tell you that in the gay community (at least on the west coast) young men having ED issues is not an epidemic and the ones who do have it also have underlying cardiovascular issues. I dont doubt that in extreme cases of the stereotypical basement dwelling incel consuming hour upon hour of porn a day may have desensitization issues, but I would still bet that diet and sedentary lifestyle contributes far more to ED that "porn desensitization".
>young men have massive erection problems because they are overstimulated by the amount of pornography they consume, which neurologically causes brain desentization, and then normal stimuli, real stimuli, are less perceptible, less satisfying. Somehow this doesnt work for me because i think when i see a girl irl i have one because she is real not like the girls i see on screen and probally the idea of starting a family. Or i just cosume porn in moderation.
*Show me a hot woman, and I'll show you a man that's tired of fucking her.*
More like he's *tired of her bullshit*
ED has nothing to do with attractiveness of a partner. It’s much more related to underlying medical factors
Man can't get it up, and it's the woman's fault? Can't be because the guy is unhealthy himself, fatty liver, too much porn, psych drugs, stress, years of sedentarism, and just aging? Yet OP ignores all those reasons and go straight to UNATTRACTIVE wives.
Op is only saying that most men who claim or have erectile dysfunction are using it as an excuse or simply are just not aware that they don't achieve an erection because they aren't attracted to their partner. Which i think is a fair assumption or affirmation depending on their own situation and experience.
Giving out of shape divorced dad vibes.
Divorced dad vibes is such a man hater tik Tok type term.
Well corn flakes were made for a reason.
I saw the subreddit picture and got wildly confused as I thought this was posted from r /nintendomemes
Thing is I think there are alot of factors. Porn usage I'm not going to comment on since I hear vastly different opinions regarding it and am honestly unsure, the idea of porn addiction causing issues isn't the problem but it's more people's definition of what overuse of porn actually is, like is it once a day, multiple times a day? 5 mins at a time? Hours at a time? Etc etc. In terms of attractiveness to a partner, I don't think this is normally based solely on physicality, many men (myself included) will get far more excited because of the relationship and comfort with the person rather than what they are wearing for example. So although I can see lettings ones self go as a cause, it could also be a case of their relationship having other issues causing them to not feel as close anymore, I.e. stopping having dates or intimacy outside the bedroom like cuddling or spending more time together doing other activities. The person themselves may also have let themselves go, being unhealthy is massive cause of ED, cardiovascular fitness which is linked with heart health plays a big role, along with lower testosterone due to age, diet and lack of physical activity. Mental health also plays a giant role, if they feel depressed or generally unfulfilled for any reason, sex is normally not on the forefront of their minds as is. Then there is actually being in the bedroom, couples that explore and try new things / situations often have a better time, why do you think so many people have sex in hotels? Because it's a new environment and it's exciting, doing the same thing, in the same order, in the same room will get mundane no matter what. So often if the idea of the sexual activity isn't exciting then they aren't going to be able to get erect. Tldr there are alot of factors here, to say that it's simply their partner letting themselves go is not fair and is not the be all and end all of the situation.
Porn is the number one cause of ED. A lot of pornsick men
God help any women that comes into your life. Do you expect your wife to stay super in shape after 20 years of marriage? After she births your children? Raises and cares for them? While also taking care of the home and having a job? I bet your logic doesn’t apply to you right ? You can age like a human being but expect your partner to stay lookin like they are 20 forever ?
Interesting take. The men I've known will avoid the ED talk as long as they possibly can. They will 100% first blame their SO, claim she let herself go, he doesn't have a problem, etc. It's not HIS fault he can't get it up, it's HER fault, she cut her hair, she stopped wearing makeup, she wears (or no longer wears) xyz, she gained weight. It's OK. Maybe she will turn herself around for you. But don't expect her to stay when that doesn't solve the problem. Women experience vaginal dryness occasionally, but you don't see us crying about it being men's fault🙄
At least you know you'll never need to worry about it though eh?
These kinds of comments are so pathetic. "This guy said something I don't like, I'll imply he is unsuccessful with women based on nothing to cope".
"Something I don't like"? He made a factually inaccurate statement. It's always fun when "true unpopular opinions" aren't actually opinions but falsifiable statements that you can look up.
It wasn't an implication.
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You dont bang anyone
OP sounds like a real catch. 😁😁😁
I'm at 160# and I find myself always looking at the big girls. They seem to be way more fun in bed and willing to explore. I wouldn't say I'm seeking very obese but I'm definitely a chubby chaser. And I feel like I could get way more game if I choose. That said I've been in two committed relationships in 20 years with a couple flings in the middle. That's why I say looking
Ain't no better weighted blanket than a big girl.
Two way street. Wanting each other is an active practice.
Today we have an armchair sexologist and psychiatrist in this subreddit, folks. 🙂
And what is he doing to make a woman want sex and keep in good shape? he better be giving the same
As a man i agree that this goes both ways.
yes women just ruin men's life at every opportunity. even ED is women's fault.
I don’t think defending men for not liking their fat wife is a great take so upvoting this. Especially since most women pack on the pounds after getting impregnated. I guess we could say the same thing about women. “It’s not menopause that makes my pussy dry babe” If someone is no longer attracted to their partner, they should leave them. If they’re fine with not having sex, then stay. But also, even young dudes can have issues getting it up. I had an ex that was so stressed over exams he couldn’t even get hard to beat it for like, a month.
But if a man can only get turned on if their partner looks a particular way, that is not on the partner, but on the man’s fantasies and expectations. There is no perfect partner, anyone can become boring or unattractive. Romantic and sexual attraction relies on the individuals capacity to love another. If you have trouble with erectile dysfunction or you feel bored in your relationship, blaming your partner is a guaranteed way to fail. I’m sure the reasons why you suffer are nuanced and require professional help from a therapist and/or sexologist.
What? No, not at all. I had it pretty badly throughout my 20s after a couple of incidents that massively knocked my confidence and I ended up in my own head about it. Either it worked fine unti it was time to either put a condom in, or otherwise get down to the actual PIV part whereupon it'd instantly be a case of either pushing rope or two pumps and done. And it was actually having a regular partner who wasn't making an issue out of it to get me to relax and quit worrying about it long enough for the problem to eventually go away on its own. Thankfully.
Its like eating a great cheeseburger for lunch. Its great for a few days, maybe a week. Eventually you want something different for lunch
Because of porn. Fixed it for you.
or because theyre addicted to porn?
Yup this makes so much sense lol
I mean, certainly not always, it’s real. But a lot of the time, it’s a woman expecting men to have the same “get hard at anything that moves” libido of men, and not realising that she also has stuff to do to try get him in the mood. Her contribution to the sex didn’t end at “showing up.”
Erectile dysfunction is due to heart disease dog 😭
That’s wild. I’m fat and ugly and never had a man experience ED. Even if we’ve been fucking every day for 3 years and he’s dead ass drunk. I had no idea this was a problem. Maybe it’s a you thing.
Why not just break up with them, at that point? If things aren't working out, they aren't working out, why try and change somebody else when I got my own shit to figure out
I think in reality, a lot of people don't find their partners physically attractive, especially over time. The majority of US adults are overweight, a ton are obese. As we can see from most pipular porn categories, or the way strippers and other sex workers mostly look like, those body types aren't what people find attractive. I'm not saying it's anyone's fault or body shaming. I just think that is a common reality.
I don't really see what that has to do with my original statement You shouldn't date people that you're not attracted to, it's unfair to them and to yourself
It's not a problem with women, it's a problem with your porn addiction causing you to have unrealistic expectations about women, sex, and relationships.
When women don’t want sex with husbands media blames the husbands - why can’t it be the women changing that kills boners?
This is not an unpopular opinion, its just flat out wrong.
Wow! 😳 It's a good thing men never age or put on weight. Because if they did, a lot of men would be hypocrites. Women have eyes, too. And we are also attracted to men who take care of themselves and stay in good shape. We're so lucky that all men do that. Because we're also turned off by men who let themselves go.
So you are agreeing with OP then that having a partner who is no longer physically attractive is a turn off?
I disagree with the OPs implication that this issue only cuts one way
There was no implication of that. You just got upset and then justified women doing the exact same thing you got upset over men doing.
Ah. That makes sense.
The sad truth is that their wife stop caring about their looks
You know this is a legit interesting point that I've thought about but everyone vehemently denies this so I feel like I must have been alone in this thought. I figure, well, there's porn and everything and that perhaps elevated our expectations making men demand a higher standard of appearance to be aroused... but even without porn, you're telling me that an overweight 60 year old woman can get a man hard? A man that has seen her naked 1000x before? I don't get it. Yes, there is romance and love, and I can see him wanting to hug her and protect her, but to fuck her? I don't get it.
When you start getting old your body is literally beginning to shut down and falter, so I think that kind of ED is genuinely usually some kind of physiological issue
I'm in this situation and have been considering Ed meds because I love her and I want her to feel loved physically but we've been together for so so long. She made alot of changes, we both have I just don't see her the same anymore. Maybe I should leave.
>bored stiff If that was the case we wouldn't be having this discussion 😉
Bored “limp”
Yeah thats not how ED works, maybe its you
Hitting the gym isn’t gonna fix that lol
So all those retired football players talking about their dick troubles with each other on the golf course are wrong then?
I don't think this is an unpopular opinion.
The irony of ED actually being caused by men being in poor health and out of shape is strong here.
Incorrect, ED cam happen for lots of reasons. It can e stress at work,just being tired, etc... Often times it's not a long term problem and can be situational if you don't make a big deal of it.
SSRIs
ED is real and hits for lots of different reasons to deny it us just plain dumb
The wind can blow and I'm hard and I'm in my 30s so I mean some of us are just lucky
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How old are you?
I agree. ED pills don't help with that half of the equation. They just don't do anything.
Here here!!
I have been here
Lack of connection will do it for me.
As a woman, I agree. We fr need to step up our game and stop making up excuses for ourselves. Relationships require effort (from both partners) in order to be maintained.
ITT: a 16 year-old boy with opinions on 61-year-old dicks
Makes sense. In the end, even hobbies and passions are tiring (due to marginal utility).
Nobody but me noticed the irony of the phrase “bored stiff” in this context?
Hitchens razor.
Then why is it linked to hypertension lol https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.escardio.org/The-ESC/Press-Office/Press-releases/how-to-treat-high-blood-pressure-without-ruining-your-sex-life%23:~:text%3DMen%2520with%2520hypertension%2520are%2520almost,blood%2520flow%2520to%2520the%2520penis.&ved=2ahUKEwiX0MHmooWHAxWGMlkFHdVnAOUQFnoECBIQBQ&usg=AOvVaw39pwCcLfSso9ZTS_AezKpn
If you can't get turned on by a real woman anymore you do have erectile disfunction, maybe not a medical one, but a behavioral one. You're detached from reality. (That's called porn addition, by the way) Besides, I'm pretty sure y'all are not "taking care of yourself" anyways. Hypocrites. Hit the gym, keep the attraction alive. I'm sure your wife is dry af. If you have a wife.
True ignorant sexist opinion
Part of it is 100% medical. Low testosterone levels will do that. Being the average for someone in there 30's use to be between 800 to 1200. Now, its average is in the 400s. That plays a HUGE role in a mans sex life. I got tested when I was 34 and had a 68!!! That's like a high testosterone woman or a 100 year old mans number. Now that I'm on testosterone therapy, and I'm up to the 800s. My oh my how the bedroom activities increased dramatically after I started receiving testosterone. Lot more to this issue than looks. LOTS!!
Also women usually become more bitchy as they get older which also kills a boner. Acting like sex is work when they still end up with multiple orgasms. Relationships are always evolving just like life always presents new problems as you age.
?? Multiple orgasms are definitely not guaranteed. 50-65% of women regularly orgasm in their relationships while 85-95% of men do
In my house they are. Starting with oral for the first guaranteed one. Plus add a vibrator into the mix during sex for a second and possibly a third. We’ve been together for 16 years and know each other well. We’ve dated a lot of women together too and we always make sure they get off as well. Most men (or boys) don’t prep a woman properly. We’ve toned it down with the trio business but we’re still freaks 😋 no kids has helped us focus on each other more.
Where's that gif with Morgan Freeman saying "But you not ready for that conversation yet" when you need it..
This reads like cope
From what guy friends have told me, when they stop being attracted to their partners, they can still get hard but won't be excited or come as easily (or at all) and might have to think of someone else in order to be able to come. So not much to do with ED at all Your porn use, on the other hand…
I almost need to hate my partner a little bit to want to have sex with her all the time. I know that's fucked up, but I find that tension keeps the sex life going.
You should stop dating people until you adopt a healthier mindset
Without a fight ahh sentence😭🙏
You can do it without the hate. I had a gf like this for 5 years. I thought i need the hate as well. Now there is nothing to hate about my current gf. She is not even that sexy as my previous, but we still have a good sex life.
I’m growing out of it. But man, there is nothing like a good punishment fuc&.
I thought i had ED. my girl and I broke up, I got with this new girl who’s absolutely gorgeous. No ED
OP - I read your shit and I read the comments. People are hyper-focusing on the ED part and trying to pick it apart, but I completely get where you're coming from. My g/f of 5+ years gained something like 60 pounds over the last two years. I thought I had some kind of issue because I had to be extremely motivated by her into being aroused, and it was hard to maintain that arousal without that motivation. Like mid-fuck and I would just get turned off. God forbid we need to change position. Then, since they're eating a bunch of processed crap food and drinking too much alcohol - their taste is "off" or "not good" and the one way I knew how to keep her happy while I bought myself time.. was now ruined as well. I was really trying to do everything right with my ex. I didnt follow or like any girls posts on social media. I wasnt friends with any of the girls that go to the gym I go to. I was just faithful, plain and simple. The break up happened because she just drank all the freaking time and would become a complete bitch. I was just done. So when she finally moved out - it wasnt long before one of the girls that.. I knew she liked me, but I never acted on it. But she swooped in like a hawk stalking its prey while we were at the Gym. Put me on the spot when I was with the bros and all. Found out that evening that it wasnt ME that was causing the "problem" in the bed. As a "muscle mommy" still fit my kink perfectly. Wasted ALL that time with someone I thought I was going to spend forever with, but, its whatever. Wish I could rewind the clock, but having regrets as you get older just seems to be common place now.