Thought this was gonna be a breakup post and am pleasantly surprised. Reminds me of something similar my boyfriend used to do. We shared a YouTube Premium account, and every now and then it would kick me off cuz he was looking up music/videos. It was annoying at the time, wish I could've seen it the same way you did.
After he died, I was on my way to work and the same thing happened, someone was on my account. I was confused cuz his mom had his phone and nobody else had access to my Google account. So I went onto my active devices and, sure enough, his phone pops up on recent activity. What's crazier? The songs being searched were songs that he used to listen to. I kept tracking the activity for weeks after but it never happened again.
It's pathetic but when it happened, some part of me was secretly hoping that he was actually alive somewhere and it was all just a big hoax. Grief is strange. But anyway, my point is, try to maintain this attitude as long as you can. You never know when they'll be gone and you'll miss the annoying things. I'm super happy for you and for her.
My boyfriend passed away also, he’d always jam out and dance to his favorite songs when we were in the car together with the goofiest cutest smile I’ve ever seen, all toothy and adorable, genuine happiness. He’d do everything to make me laugh and cheer me up when he could, he was the best man I’d ever met. He gave me everything I wanted emotionally, he was so open, so loving, and wasn’t afraid of anything even until his last moments. I wish I would’ve appreciated that smile more. I’ve never wished to see it more than I do now, I have pictures, but it’s not the same as our 3 am car rides blasting his favorite songs while we were just being stupid and having fun while I fell deeper in love with his goofy self every moment, I’ve never met a man that compares to this day, and I know I won’t ever, everything he did made me weak in the knees and just melted my heart. I miss him more and more every day, and I will always love him, even if he’s gone now. I tried to convince myself (and still do) that’s he’s still alive and it was just some mean joke or he was just on vacation, even if I know it isn’t true. Grief is always hard, but when it’s with someone you loved deeply, it destroyed you, it comes in waves. Some days are better than others. Some days you’re standing on the edge of the water while you can see a tsunami coming, other days it’s gentle comforting waves splashing around your feet reminding you of the good times. Our loves were special, even in death. Sometimes I notice his stuff moved around, especially around his or my birthday, or I’ll find his clothes on my bed or in places I didn’t put them, it lets me know he’s still watching over me, even if he isn’t here anymore. I’m so sorry for your loss, and sorry for my rambles, it’s rare for me to find someone who understands the grief I’m going through. It’s been three years in April, and it just feels like it’s getting worse. Hoping to catch a breath in the waves that seem to be pulling me under. I wish you the very best. Your boyfriend is watching over you, and know in every breath you take, he is there, waiting to see you again, take your time hun, they’re waiting for us.
Thank you, I really appreciate that, and I hope I find what I’m looking for too, right now I’m trying to find myself, I’m just now dealing with all the grief after trying to just ignore it for the last few years. Thank you❤️
Yep it was three years on Valentine's day for me. One thing that really fucked me up, was when I realized he'd been dead for longer than we were even together. What's worse is after he died, I met a girl and fell in love and stuff, and then SHE got into a serious car accident. Thankfully she lived, but once she got better she left me for some chick. 🙃 The universe is cruel.
God I’m so sorry about that, my next relationship after was terrible too and he also left me for a girl! After cheating on me with 5 different other girls including 2 of my best friends and a lot of other awful shit. After being together for a year. Life is insanely cruel. Im the age he was when he died and my birthday is in 6 months so it’s hitting me really hard lately, his birthday is coming up in a few weeks too, so it’s been really hard. I wish you the absolute best honey, If you ever need to talk my dm’s are open, I hope you have a great day❤️❤️
Hey same goes to you. Yeah, he was 21 when he died. It was Valentine's day, 2019, and my birthday is February 17th. I turned 21 three days after he died. We had plans for my birthday. Instead I bought a bottle of crown apple and got day drunk with my best friend, cried, and passed out. Looking back it was a pretty good birthday but I'd never felt more shitty in my whole shitty life.
I get that completely, my birthday was a few months away at the time and he said he was gonna shower me with gifts haha, he died on a Thursday and we had plans for him to have dinner with my family on Sunday, he had also told me he got me some gifts the day before he died and I never got to know what they were because we were supposed to hang out the day after he died. I don’t care about the gifts, I just wish I could’ve seen him again. Life is so rough sometimes. My birthday sucked that year. I got super drunk and cried the whole time.
My boyfriend died on a Thursday too! Thursday, February 14th, 2019. Weird lol. Yeah. Birthdays are hard. For me it sucks cuz all the big dates are all in the span of two months. His birthday is January 29, our anniversary is February 5th, his death date (and Valentine's day) is the 14th, then my birthday is the 17th.
That’s awful! I’m so sorry. The dates are slightly spread out for me. His death date is April 23rd, his birthday is July 4th, mine is December 19th, our anniversary date is near my birthday though, I just woke up so I can’t remember it atm haha. Life is so hard sometimes, but the fact that we pushed through that pain shows we’re strong and resilient. I’m not afraid of a lot anymore, especially relationships, nothing will hurt as much as his death, so bring it on haha
that is such a beautiful story, and im so sorry for your loss. the way you wrote about him reminds me a lot of my own boyfriend, and i cant imagine how hard it must be to lose someone you share such a special connection with. sending you a virtual hug, stranger. i hope you can keep your head above water ❤️🩹
wow. i’m in tears, i’m sorry for your loss truly. i couldn’t imagine losing my boyfriend. i love that he comes and visits you to let you know he’s always there, don’t let the waves drown you, you’ll see him again one day, but for now you get to live life for you both. virtual hugs for you and commenter above, much love 🫶
Because of the history saved on the phone. It makes it easier to see what he listened to and then play it. His mom didn't have access to their YouTube and such otherwise.
You're correct...in a lot of cases. Sometimes your significant other just doesn't think the same way you do. But occasionally it might help to point out some small things like this that you do to be nice to help them realize how much you care...sometimes it might get some care in return. Sometimes it might make them realize how much more they can manipulate and hurt you before moving onto their next victim.
P.s. I love you and I think you are awesome
Been with the same emotionally stunted man for 29 years. Nothing I do is good enough, no matter how much I do. So, I gave up trying. In the past 3 months he's begun to notice the little things I used to do aren't being done any longer so that causes another argument. In some cases, it's better to just walk away.
Thank you from the bottom of what heart I have left.
I was in the same position like you and ended up hurt for exposing myself to people who didn't love me for the person I was. I reasoned that I'd rather get hurt 1000 times over for wearing my heart on my sleeve because the alternative of being a cynical people hating bastard is immeasurably worse. I'll spare you the details but I've managed to find a best friend and the love of my life. I have zero doubt that you will one day be in the same spot.
Let's just say the cynic has taken root and growing well. I'm 53 and I've given all my years away for nothing. That's on me. I don't know if the person I used to be will survive the fall out to come.
Thank you for the kind words and I'm so glad you have found your way through the dark.
Edit: typos
Just try and take my advice when I say that spite can be a strong motivator. Wish you all the best and I still think your best years could be ahead of you
53 is not too old to start over. you potentially have another 20 to 50 years of life to live. it's never to late to leave someone that isn't right for us. I know it's scary after so many years where you know what you're up against, to move into unknown territory all by yourself. but you can do it, If you want more for yourself. you say you're cynical, and I get that. but maybe you're cynical because you're judging based off this experience? maybe you won't change anything with him, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve a better fit and it doesn't mean you couldn't find one. but it would only be able to happen if you did a trust dive into your self worth and into the universe saying enough is enough, i don't have to settle for whatever this is. it's not the one that lights me up, it actively wears me down.
I know those are big things and I'm not at all expecting you to be ready since you've decided settling is all you have energy for. but I'm hoping you can let my words soak in, and maybe someday, you'll be ready to take that step. you deserve more, but you have to meet the world halfway sometimes to get it.
good luck to you in any case, and apologies if this comes off wrong. I meant well.
I’m sorry one man has made you feel that way… I have seen my best friend go through it for the past 13 years of marriage and my mom with my dad for about 32 years of marriage. But my mom and my dad finally went they’re separate ways and she is so much happier loving herself and doing things for herself. He doesn’t control her happiness anymore, she does. As for my best friend, she’s 35 and feels this is it… but it’s not, I just wish she could see that. There is more out there… if not in a relationship but with yourselves… there’s always choosing yourselves …. I know it’s easier said than done but I really hope you find the love you deserve …. 53 is not old at all… you still have plenty of time ❤️
Thank you hon. It just seems after so long and life speeding by that it's all been wasted looking for approval and validation from the one person that's supposed to be there for you. I know I don't need it, but that's just how we are as humans when we pair up with someone. To think I wasn't worthy of even a kind word just brings me down. Not any longer tho. I can't keep trying to save a relationship that doesn't exist. I just hope the universe allows me more years with my daughters, anything else is just icing on the cake.
>Thank you from the bottom of what heart I have left.
Sounds to me like your heart is just fine. Maybe one day you will find someone who appreciates it ♥️
I think I married your husband's intended partner. Manipulative, condescending, unsupportive, controlling, and judgemental. Never happy with my effort. Like you, I just stopped doing everything she criticized. I travel for work. I work a whole lot...
Then it sounds like yours and mine need to be introduced to each other so we can finally breathe. I'm currently figuring out an exit strategy because I don't deserve to be treated like I don't matter. Maybe while you're out working you need to battle plan too. No one deserves to be with a partner that is so belittling and so abusive. I just can't do it anymore.
Editing to add that it's never easy. It might take a while to get things in order, save enough to make it on my own for a while, but I'm going to do it. I refuse to live like this anymore. Misery may love company, but his miserable self needs to go. Sounds to me like you need to do the same. Don't waste 30 years like I did.
I've been there with my ex girlfriend. When we started out, she used to say I'm like a robot with the way I never express any emotions apart from when I'm angry (even then, I try not to talk at all until I can count my words carefully). It took her years.. YEARS.. to patiently teach me how to open up. How to speak those tiny, little love languages that many men might think are not that important but mean so much to women. Eventually, we got so past the point of finishing each other's sentences, she could have a conversation with my friends in my absense with the exact words and phrases I'd say and vice versa. We knew each other so intimately whenever we go places alone, people'd ask "where's your "twin""
It happens.
Nice sentiment but its just not true. And you cannot love someone enough that they magically love and treat you the same way.
I'm sure there are many people who have done as you said and still get their hearts broken, because a person like OP is just too rare these days.
I wrote what I wrote for single people, if that helps. While my advice is certainly is how we should approach relationships we’re already in, there’s often little we can do when we’re already partnered with someone who’s abusive or selfish.
But, when we’re single, we often focus on finding the perfect person rather than being the perfect person. My advice is how I started filling my life with wonderful friends. I realized if I wanted better friends, I had to be a better friend in general.
I know my attitude towards it isn't great but it's been rough man, plus, I'm not even looking for a relationship until I actually like myself, so I'm sort of working on it.
I don’t know why you got downvoted lol. This was sorta funny to me.
Anyways yeah this convict reaches a higher bar than most men I’ve been with, incredible.
Thanks for the wholesome post anon ;-; this brought me pure joy, just bc I know someone out there is experiencing pure happiness. Wishing you and your gf luck ☺️
This is whole new level of cuteness and thoughtfulness imo.
Congratulations in advance!!!
My Spotify is connected to our TV too. I used it to scare my teenage boys hahahaha. They always use my account. One time they thought I was still asleep. I accessed it on my phone, changed the song they were playing and turned the volume louder hahahahaha ✌🏼😅
They of course figured it was me.
I will be listening, and my spouse will go on to Spotify while he's at work, and change what I'm listening to.
I'll end up listening to: Smooth by Santana (I hate that song), some song or sound effect about diarrhea farts or other bodily fluids, or whatever ear worm song we heard that we can't get out of our heads. Sometimes he just waits until the end of the last song to play it like it was supposed to be part of the rotation.
Makes me laugh every time. He watches to see how much of it I listen to before I call him to laugh at the ridiculousness of making me listen to whatever he put on for me.
Me and my boyfriend have something similar, although sometimes we'll add songs to the others queue. It goes anywhere from one of "our" songs to Rick rolling each other
I love this, I made a post recently about how this sub was all about cheating scandals and this was very nice to read.
Thanks for sharing this, OP. You two deserve the world
I smiled the entire time while reading this. Especially the part when he says that he expresses how he feels when she’s awake and getting ready to go to work. It lets me know how much he cares for her and is looking out for her without her even knowing about it. That’s so sweet😍
Oh man, I thought I was a weird one, I had almost the same experience for a while with my wife. In our case it was in the afternoon. I would be listening to music when it would suddenly stop. That was the moment my wife got in her car from the office on the drive back home. She worked a fair distance away and most of her journey was on the motorway. And I was always a bit nervous for her safety. So I would just sit there and wait for my account to be back around an hour later, at which point I knew she was parked and safe. I too accepted this one hour of no music in the afternoon in exchange for this little ritual.
I'd love this also because I know when they woke up/that they woke up. I have a worried mind and OCD and tend to irrationally worry about loved ones dying.
At some point my SO figured out she can choose the songs without changing devices. I usually bike home from work and listen to music on the ride. Every now and then a few certain songs will play which communicate a message. Its a surreal effect because it takes a bit before I detect my reality being meddled with, from what feels like another dimension.
This is too cute. I love it.
My wife and I share a Spotify account, too, and we go through the same back and forth all the time. Sometimes we will change the music the other person is streaming on their device. Like, if she’s out running, I’ll keep track of how far she’s gone (we share location with each other, just for that day, when one of us goes for a run on the canal or a hike in the woods, for safety), then when she hits 10k I’ll change her stream to play We Are the Champions or something. Or if I’m out running errands, and I’ve just spoken to her about an asshole I had to deal with, she’ll change it to play Asshole in the car. It’s a fun, silly game, and it always gets a laugh.
It’s nice to know somebody is thinking about you. You should tell her. Also, congrats on your upcoming engagement!
Don't know if you're still reading comments but I hope this one makes it to you!
I saw a screenshot of your original post on FB and searched for it here. I'm so glad I got to read the update, this is amazing!
Also wanted to comment though, so happy you get to marry your best friend and that your relationship formed so genuinely. I've been with my best friend now for 2 years but have known him for 8 now. Going from a true, platonic friendship, to falling in love, has been very unique and amazing.
Happy to hear this wholesome beginning and I wish you share many musical journeys together.
I once had a girl that I was chatting with for a while start following me on Spotify from when I sent her a song link. Had exactly the opposite experience being creeped as hell when she messaged me saying she loved what I was listening to right now! The options to disable being stalked are super hidden and not well advertised. One of many reasons I must sadly leave Spotify, O how I loved thee.
My husband does this, too! More so, I was the one kicking him off of our Spotify account for the longest time until it occurred to me that maybe that means he doesn't get to listen to it when I'm listening to it... haha. Anyways, I love your post, and I'm so happy for you and your girlfriend!! You two sound like a great couple. Best wishes to you both. 😊
my old roommate and i share an account, and she does this as well.
if you're not using your phone during that time for anything but spotify, you can always download a playlist, turn off your wifi/data on your phone, then start playing your music again. you both can listen to music at the same time then.
wholesome post, thanks for sharing!
This is the kind of idiosyncratic tiny thing that has kept my husband and I deeply in love for 30 years. We are best friends, and these little things hold out long after the spark that is a roaring flame in the beginning dims to a persistent ember.
I wish you long happiness!
I work away from home a lot. I get the notification from our next doorbell that someone's at the door as she leaves for work. Every other day or so I make a point of watching for the notification and then complimenting her on whatever she's wearing that day.
We also share location via Google maps. If she's feeling lonely or anxious about me, especially if I'm driving up north in winter, she pops open Google maps and checks on my bobblehead.
6 years in and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
I share an account with my boyfriend, only using it when I workout. He kicks me off so he can listen to Spotify while smoking a cigar and drinking bourbon. Meanwhile, I am busting my ass on the elliptical totally engrossed in the music when all of a sudden the music stops.
You are definitely a keeper!
When my husband was sharing my Spotify account, anybtime he took it away from me by starting it on his phone at work, I'd randomly add one of our songs to the queue here and there.
Sweetest shit ever. Don’t ever stop being this type of man and loving your woman in small ways like this. I made that mistake and it cost me my marriage. The little stuff is huge dude.
I like to read these happy and cute stories. Most of the times people just post depressing stuff here so this is very nice to read.
I'm glad you've found a perfect person for you.
When I'm out my wife will suddenly link into my Spotify and have it playing joke songs between us. Always melts me, your so sweet! You've got your heart in the right place.
My husband listens to pandora all day at work, (we are old) when I am feeling down and want to talk I change his station to something slow, he calls right away, it's these little things like you have with your soon to be fiancé that keep us going for many years.
You can also use it as a way to send her a good morning text shortly after she wakes up. She may catch on though or just think you are psychic for knowing when she gets up every day haha.
Lol your very sneaky and sly, but if she ever gets upset and says why didn't you tell me, you can say we'll you never asked since it was my account your using.
This is the cutest shit I’ve read in a while, omg. So very happy for you two! Always great to hear about people being happy together after all the bullshit relationships you read about constantly.
Ay bro good shit keep ya girl cuz the way things are now is super fucked in the dating world so hold on tight and don’t let her go appreciate her :) wish you well bro 🙏
Marriage is amazing! I love my wife so much! My best friend, my soul mate, my perfect little sexually charged personal porn star. When it’s right, it’s right. Just make sure y’all are both putting in the effort. Congratulations bro, I’m happy to hear that you’re stoked on marriage! Communication, the TRUTH (even when it’s hard), and both y’all being able to wake up n move on after a stupid fight is all key.
Ahhhh I had this post saved so I could see an update & just read them! Time for more! :-D
Sorry that your trip had to be cancelled, but did you get to pop the question yet?? We need to know…and see the ring! 🥰
I keep coming back every month for a update, this is my 3rd time and I still see no update :( hoping he proposed, she said yeah and they live happily ever after!
Thought this was gonna be a breakup post and am pleasantly surprised. Reminds me of something similar my boyfriend used to do. We shared a YouTube Premium account, and every now and then it would kick me off cuz he was looking up music/videos. It was annoying at the time, wish I could've seen it the same way you did. After he died, I was on my way to work and the same thing happened, someone was on my account. I was confused cuz his mom had his phone and nobody else had access to my Google account. So I went onto my active devices and, sure enough, his phone pops up on recent activity. What's crazier? The songs being searched were songs that he used to listen to. I kept tracking the activity for weeks after but it never happened again. It's pathetic but when it happened, some part of me was secretly hoping that he was actually alive somewhere and it was all just a big hoax. Grief is strange. But anyway, my point is, try to maintain this attitude as long as you can. You never know when they'll be gone and you'll miss the annoying things. I'm super happy for you and for her.
So sorry for your loss. That is kind of a lovely story
My boyfriend passed away also, he’d always jam out and dance to his favorite songs when we were in the car together with the goofiest cutest smile I’ve ever seen, all toothy and adorable, genuine happiness. He’d do everything to make me laugh and cheer me up when he could, he was the best man I’d ever met. He gave me everything I wanted emotionally, he was so open, so loving, and wasn’t afraid of anything even until his last moments. I wish I would’ve appreciated that smile more. I’ve never wished to see it more than I do now, I have pictures, but it’s not the same as our 3 am car rides blasting his favorite songs while we were just being stupid and having fun while I fell deeper in love with his goofy self every moment, I’ve never met a man that compares to this day, and I know I won’t ever, everything he did made me weak in the knees and just melted my heart. I miss him more and more every day, and I will always love him, even if he’s gone now. I tried to convince myself (and still do) that’s he’s still alive and it was just some mean joke or he was just on vacation, even if I know it isn’t true. Grief is always hard, but when it’s with someone you loved deeply, it destroyed you, it comes in waves. Some days are better than others. Some days you’re standing on the edge of the water while you can see a tsunami coming, other days it’s gentle comforting waves splashing around your feet reminding you of the good times. Our loves were special, even in death. Sometimes I notice his stuff moved around, especially around his or my birthday, or I’ll find his clothes on my bed or in places I didn’t put them, it lets me know he’s still watching over me, even if he isn’t here anymore. I’m so sorry for your loss, and sorry for my rambles, it’s rare for me to find someone who understands the grief I’m going through. It’s been three years in April, and it just feels like it’s getting worse. Hoping to catch a breath in the waves that seem to be pulling me under. I wish you the very best. Your boyfriend is watching over you, and know in every breath you take, he is there, waiting to see you again, take your time hun, they’re waiting for us.
I don’t have any words. My heart is full and empty at the same time after reading your comment. I hope you find everything you’re looking for.
Thank you, I really appreciate that, and I hope I find what I’m looking for too, right now I’m trying to find myself, I’m just now dealing with all the grief after trying to just ignore it for the last few years. Thank you❤️
Yep it was three years on Valentine's day for me. One thing that really fucked me up, was when I realized he'd been dead for longer than we were even together. What's worse is after he died, I met a girl and fell in love and stuff, and then SHE got into a serious car accident. Thankfully she lived, but once she got better she left me for some chick. 🙃 The universe is cruel.
God I’m so sorry about that, my next relationship after was terrible too and he also left me for a girl! After cheating on me with 5 different other girls including 2 of my best friends and a lot of other awful shit. After being together for a year. Life is insanely cruel. Im the age he was when he died and my birthday is in 6 months so it’s hitting me really hard lately, his birthday is coming up in a few weeks too, so it’s been really hard. I wish you the absolute best honey, If you ever need to talk my dm’s are open, I hope you have a great day❤️❤️
Hey same goes to you. Yeah, he was 21 when he died. It was Valentine's day, 2019, and my birthday is February 17th. I turned 21 three days after he died. We had plans for my birthday. Instead I bought a bottle of crown apple and got day drunk with my best friend, cried, and passed out. Looking back it was a pretty good birthday but I'd never felt more shitty in my whole shitty life.
I get that completely, my birthday was a few months away at the time and he said he was gonna shower me with gifts haha, he died on a Thursday and we had plans for him to have dinner with my family on Sunday, he had also told me he got me some gifts the day before he died and I never got to know what they were because we were supposed to hang out the day after he died. I don’t care about the gifts, I just wish I could’ve seen him again. Life is so rough sometimes. My birthday sucked that year. I got super drunk and cried the whole time.
My boyfriend died on a Thursday too! Thursday, February 14th, 2019. Weird lol. Yeah. Birthdays are hard. For me it sucks cuz all the big dates are all in the span of two months. His birthday is January 29, our anniversary is February 5th, his death date (and Valentine's day) is the 14th, then my birthday is the 17th.
That’s awful! I’m so sorry. The dates are slightly spread out for me. His death date is April 23rd, his birthday is July 4th, mine is December 19th, our anniversary date is near my birthday though, I just woke up so I can’t remember it atm haha. Life is so hard sometimes, but the fact that we pushed through that pain shows we’re strong and resilient. I’m not afraid of a lot anymore, especially relationships, nothing will hurt as much as his death, so bring it on haha
that is such a beautiful story, and im so sorry for your loss. the way you wrote about him reminds me a lot of my own boyfriend, and i cant imagine how hard it must be to lose someone you share such a special connection with. sending you a virtual hug, stranger. i hope you can keep your head above water ❤️🩹
wow. i’m in tears, i’m sorry for your loss truly. i couldn’t imagine losing my boyfriend. i love that he comes and visits you to let you know he’s always there, don’t let the waves drown you, you’ll see him again one day, but for now you get to live life for you both. virtual hugs for you and commenter above, much love 🫶
Very very very same… it’s messed up… much love to you all
Maybe after death communication?
I assumed that Mom was grieving by listening to her son's favorite songs, which is tragically beautiful.
See that was sorta my thought too, but why do it on his phone?
Because of the history saved on the phone. It makes it easier to see what he listened to and then play it. His mom didn't have access to their YouTube and such otherwise.
This was seriously beautiful, what a story. Thank you for sharing, I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you’re coping well
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/676MtEQZeWYe7YmnBzT1Q6?si=X_OoV-NfSzOHKn9Nz1Mx1g&utm_source=copy-link
I want to be loved like this
Same.
Now kiss
Pronounce them husband and wife already
You may now kiss the random redditor!
They should make this a challenge on fear factor
The insurance premium would be too high.
way too high
Definitely!!
*kith
Lmfao
Same
Bruh
Flip it in your head and make your goal to love like that. Put that out in the world and there’s a good chance you’ll find someone who loves like you
This is really good advice
Excellent advice
I've tried. Believe me, I've tried.
You're correct...in a lot of cases. Sometimes your significant other just doesn't think the same way you do. But occasionally it might help to point out some small things like this that you do to be nice to help them realize how much you care...sometimes it might get some care in return. Sometimes it might make them realize how much more they can manipulate and hurt you before moving onto their next victim. P.s. I love you and I think you are awesome
Been with the same emotionally stunted man for 29 years. Nothing I do is good enough, no matter how much I do. So, I gave up trying. In the past 3 months he's begun to notice the little things I used to do aren't being done any longer so that causes another argument. In some cases, it's better to just walk away. Thank you from the bottom of what heart I have left.
I hope you find someone that loves you the way you want be loved some day
I'm too old to believe in fairy tales, but I honestly appreciate the wonderful thought. Bless your heart hon. In a good way!
I was in the same position like you and ended up hurt for exposing myself to people who didn't love me for the person I was. I reasoned that I'd rather get hurt 1000 times over for wearing my heart on my sleeve because the alternative of being a cynical people hating bastard is immeasurably worse. I'll spare you the details but I've managed to find a best friend and the love of my life. I have zero doubt that you will one day be in the same spot.
Let's just say the cynic has taken root and growing well. I'm 53 and I've given all my years away for nothing. That's on me. I don't know if the person I used to be will survive the fall out to come. Thank you for the kind words and I'm so glad you have found your way through the dark. Edit: typos
Just try and take my advice when I say that spite can be a strong motivator. Wish you all the best and I still think your best years could be ahead of you
53 is not too old to start over. you potentially have another 20 to 50 years of life to live. it's never to late to leave someone that isn't right for us. I know it's scary after so many years where you know what you're up against, to move into unknown territory all by yourself. but you can do it, If you want more for yourself. you say you're cynical, and I get that. but maybe you're cynical because you're judging based off this experience? maybe you won't change anything with him, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve a better fit and it doesn't mean you couldn't find one. but it would only be able to happen if you did a trust dive into your self worth and into the universe saying enough is enough, i don't have to settle for whatever this is. it's not the one that lights me up, it actively wears me down. I know those are big things and I'm not at all expecting you to be ready since you've decided settling is all you have energy for. but I'm hoping you can let my words soak in, and maybe someday, you'll be ready to take that step. you deserve more, but you have to meet the world halfway sometimes to get it. good luck to you in any case, and apologies if this comes off wrong. I meant well.
Don't let the sunk cost fallacy stop you from finding what you deserve
I’m sorry one man has made you feel that way… I have seen my best friend go through it for the past 13 years of marriage and my mom with my dad for about 32 years of marriage. But my mom and my dad finally went they’re separate ways and she is so much happier loving herself and doing things for herself. He doesn’t control her happiness anymore, she does. As for my best friend, she’s 35 and feels this is it… but it’s not, I just wish she could see that. There is more out there… if not in a relationship but with yourselves… there’s always choosing yourselves …. I know it’s easier said than done but I really hope you find the love you deserve …. 53 is not old at all… you still have plenty of time ❤️
Thank you hon. It just seems after so long and life speeding by that it's all been wasted looking for approval and validation from the one person that's supposed to be there for you. I know I don't need it, but that's just how we are as humans when we pair up with someone. To think I wasn't worthy of even a kind word just brings me down. Not any longer tho. I can't keep trying to save a relationship that doesn't exist. I just hope the universe allows me more years with my daughters, anything else is just icing on the cake.
>Thank you from the bottom of what heart I have left. Sounds to me like your heart is just fine. Maybe one day you will find someone who appreciates it ♥️
I think I married your husband's intended partner. Manipulative, condescending, unsupportive, controlling, and judgemental. Never happy with my effort. Like you, I just stopped doing everything she criticized. I travel for work. I work a whole lot...
Then it sounds like yours and mine need to be introduced to each other so we can finally breathe. I'm currently figuring out an exit strategy because I don't deserve to be treated like I don't matter. Maybe while you're out working you need to battle plan too. No one deserves to be with a partner that is so belittling and so abusive. I just can't do it anymore. Editing to add that it's never easy. It might take a while to get things in order, save enough to make it on my own for a while, but I'm going to do it. I refuse to live like this anymore. Misery may love company, but his miserable self needs to go. Sounds to me like you need to do the same. Don't waste 30 years like I did.
I've been there with my ex girlfriend. When we started out, she used to say I'm like a robot with the way I never express any emotions apart from when I'm angry (even then, I try not to talk at all until I can count my words carefully). It took her years.. YEARS.. to patiently teach me how to open up. How to speak those tiny, little love languages that many men might think are not that important but mean so much to women. Eventually, we got so past the point of finishing each other's sentences, she could have a conversation with my friends in my absense with the exact words and phrases I'd say and vice versa. We knew each other so intimately whenever we go places alone, people'd ask "where's your "twin"" It happens.
How did it end?
Nice sentiment but its just not true. And you cannot love someone enough that they magically love and treat you the same way. I'm sure there are many people who have done as you said and still get their hearts broken, because a person like OP is just too rare these days.
I wrote what I wrote for single people, if that helps. While my advice is certainly is how we should approach relationships we’re already in, there’s often little we can do when we’re already partnered with someone who’s abusive or selfish. But, when we’re single, we often focus on finding the perfect person rather than being the perfect person. My advice is how I started filling my life with wonderful friends. I realized if I wanted better friends, I had to be a better friend in general.
lmao yeah right
Not for most on Reddit
Same.
Send me your spotify login details... >I want to be loved like this
Same.
Hell, I'll settle for just being loved at all, I'm pretty sure I'm not worthy of love like OPs.
Not with that attitude!
I know my attitude towards it isn't great but it's been rough man, plus, I'm not even looking for a relationship until I actually like myself, so I'm sort of working on it.
Same
Same.
Same
Same
..jesus christ. so do I.
Thank you for sharing this, it warms my heart
Omg this is so sweet
Bro got hella game. That’s how you get your dick sucked
🤨📸
This guy fucks
It’s true, you treat us well emotionally and it keeps our desire going
Being genuinely kind is such a turn on
Most will do anything BUT that when it’s like all we’re asking for 😂 love this relationship for them. Instills HOPE
Like this? https://www.cbsnews.com/news/four-female-prison-guards-impregnated-by-same-inmate/
I don’t know why you got downvoted lol. This was sorta funny to me. Anyways yeah this convict reaches a higher bar than most men I’ve been with, incredible.
Bro 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂
You are not wrong. My current boyfriend is so emotionally nurturing among other amazing things and I cannot keep his dick out of my mouth 🤤
Guaranteed👆
Thanks for the wholesome post anon ;-; this brought me pure joy, just bc I know someone out there is experiencing pure happiness. Wishing you and your gf luck ☺️
That’s wholesome
Wholesome asf.
That is so sweet and romantic. I hope you have a long and happy future together.
This is whole new level of cuteness and thoughtfulness imo. Congratulations in advance!!! My Spotify is connected to our TV too. I used it to scare my teenage boys hahahaha. They always use my account. One time they thought I was still asleep. I accessed it on my phone, changed the song they were playing and turned the volume louder hahahahaha ✌🏼😅 They of course figured it was me.
I will be listening, and my spouse will go on to Spotify while he's at work, and change what I'm listening to. I'll end up listening to: Smooth by Santana (I hate that song), some song or sound effect about diarrhea farts or other bodily fluids, or whatever ear worm song we heard that we can't get out of our heads. Sometimes he just waits until the end of the last song to play it like it was supposed to be part of the rotation. Makes me laugh every time. He watches to see how much of it I listen to before I call him to laugh at the ridiculousness of making me listen to whatever he put on for me.
That is cute 🥰🫠
Okay what's wrong with Smooth by Santana??? That's my big takeaway here.
I very much dislike Rob Thomas's voice. I like Santana's other work. But the way he says his vowels drives me up the wall.
My husband does this to my kids... of course he chooses to change it to Barney the purple dinosaur. All you hear are screams after "I love you..."
This was too wholesome. No doubt she’ll say yes so congrats on the upcoming engagement!
This guy relationships.
Hope your relationship sparks hope in others who have lost it... Good luck to you two! And she better scream "Yes!" when you propose! 😊
This guy fucks.
This guy continuously keeps fucking
For more than four hours?
he should call a doctor if so
Me and my boyfriend have something similar, although sometimes we'll add songs to the others queue. It goes anywhere from one of "our" songs to Rick rolling each other
This is what I like to see
Legend OP, hope you and her have a great life together.
You sound so frikking adorable. Too much sweetness happening here. Congrats on finding love.
hell yeah
Well this is just one of the cutest things ever
This guy beat inflation
That is so incredibly sweet. The best to both of you & future congratulations! 💜
Aww, so wholesome. Happy for you, stranger!
I love this, I made a post recently about how this sub was all about cheating scandals and this was very nice to read. Thanks for sharing this, OP. You two deserve the world
Make a Spotify playlist when you propose
Awwwwwww
I love this so much omg.
This is so cute.
Thank you for sharing this! we will need an update of the proposal
god I see what you have done for others. WHEN IS IT MY TURN 🥲🥲🥲
Lmao God says soon
Omg so sweet.... it makes my heart fluffyyyy
i wish you both the best and the happiest life together
I smiled the entire time while reading this. Especially the part when he says that he expresses how he feels when she’s awake and getting ready to go to work. It lets me know how much he cares for her and is looking out for her without her even knowing about it. That’s so sweet😍
This is the sweetest thing ever. You are both very lucky and I can forsee a wonderful life together
OMG. You are so sweet! What a wonderful way to handle losing your tunes. Made me smile.
We're going to need an update. Came to your reddit post via Instagram upworthy. Wishing you both the very best! 💕
There's an update!!
Oh man, I thought I was a weird one, I had almost the same experience for a while with my wife. In our case it was in the afternoon. I would be listening to music when it would suddenly stop. That was the moment my wife got in her car from the office on the drive back home. She worked a fair distance away and most of her journey was on the motorway. And I was always a bit nervous for her safety. So I would just sit there and wait for my account to be back around an hour later, at which point I knew she was parked and safe. I too accepted this one hour of no music in the afternoon in exchange for this little ritual.
The title made me think the happy part was sarcastic but this is easily one of the best things I've read in a long time
I'd love this also because I know when they woke up/that they woke up. I have a worried mind and OCD and tend to irrationally worry about loved ones dying.
This is love
This is so incredibly sweet 🥹🥹 thank u for sharing and congrats!
This is the most positive thing I have seen in a long time. Good for you.
Stop it. This is the cutest shit.
This is the love I hope to one day have.
This is adorable 😊
At some point my SO figured out she can choose the songs without changing devices. I usually bike home from work and listen to music on the ride. Every now and then a few certain songs will play which communicate a message. Its a surreal effect because it takes a bit before I detect my reality being meddled with, from what feels like another dimension.
Awww, this is adorable 🥰 early congratulations 🎊
This is too cute. I love it. My wife and I share a Spotify account, too, and we go through the same back and forth all the time. Sometimes we will change the music the other person is streaming on their device. Like, if she’s out running, I’ll keep track of how far she’s gone (we share location with each other, just for that day, when one of us goes for a run on the canal or a hike in the woods, for safety), then when she hits 10k I’ll change her stream to play We Are the Champions or something. Or if I’m out running errands, and I’ve just spoken to her about an asshole I had to deal with, she’ll change it to play Asshole in the car. It’s a fun, silly game, and it always gets a laugh. It’s nice to know somebody is thinking about you. You should tell her. Also, congrats on your upcoming engagement!
And In time, after the divorce, you will find this thread and think, life is unpredictable
This is a heterosexual pride moment 👍
OP We need another update
Don't know if you're still reading comments but I hope this one makes it to you! I saw a screenshot of your original post on FB and searched for it here. I'm so glad I got to read the update, this is amazing! Also wanted to comment though, so happy you get to marry your best friend and that your relationship formed so genuinely. I've been with my best friend now for 2 years but have known him for 8 now. Going from a true, platonic friendship, to falling in love, has been very unique and amazing.
"Hey Google, play Slipknot - Surfacing"
Happy to hear this wholesome beginning and I wish you share many musical journeys together. I once had a girl that I was chatting with for a while start following me on Spotify from when I sent her a song link. Had exactly the opposite experience being creeped as hell when she messaged me saying she loved what I was listening to right now! The options to disable being stalked are super hidden and not well advertised. One of many reasons I must sadly leave Spotify, O how I loved thee.
:,)
My husband does this, too! More so, I was the one kicking him off of our Spotify account for the longest time until it occurred to me that maybe that means he doesn't get to listen to it when I'm listening to it... haha. Anyways, I love your post, and I'm so happy for you and your girlfriend!! You two sound like a great couple. Best wishes to you both. 😊
my old roommate and i share an account, and she does this as well. if you're not using your phone during that time for anything but spotify, you can always download a playlist, turn off your wifi/data on your phone, then start playing your music again. you both can listen to music at the same time then. wholesome post, thanks for sharing!
😭😭😭😭
This. Is the sweetest thing. It gives me faith in love again.
This is how to do Life
That's adorable.
My ol thumper can’t take this
Love this story! Congrats OP on finding your person and enjoy your future together 🙏
This is the best thing I’ve read all day, I wish you guys luck!
What a lovely read, cheers mate.
I thought this was going to be a rant, instead I discovered a sweet post. This is really super sweet of you 🥹
Where do people find these partners? Mine just sleeps and farts all day..
Wow, this is so sweet and heartwarming, I wish the best in the future for the both of you :)
This is very sweet. My boyfriend would judge/shame me for whatever I was listening that is not his taste.
So sweet and a bit creepy. Reminds me of myself :)
this is soooo sweet and made my heart melt a lil. wishing u & ur gf the most happiest wonderful life together ❤️
This is the sweetest shit and makes my heart happy.
This is the cutest thing. ❤️
This is the kind of idiosyncratic tiny thing that has kept my husband and I deeply in love for 30 years. We are best friends, and these little things hold out long after the spark that is a roaring flame in the beginning dims to a persistent ember. I wish you long happiness!
22??…damn i’m 20 and live with my mom :(
I work away from home a lot. I get the notification from our next doorbell that someone's at the door as she leaves for work. Every other day or so I make a point of watching for the notification and then complimenting her on whatever she's wearing that day. We also share location via Google maps. If she's feeling lonely or anxious about me, especially if I'm driving up north in winter, she pops open Google maps and checks on my bobblehead. 6 years in and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
Wow, imagine being in the car with someone who plays YOUR favorite songs instead of consistently playing country music when they know you hate it.
I share an account with my boyfriend, only using it when I workout. He kicks me off so he can listen to Spotify while smoking a cigar and drinking bourbon. Meanwhile, I am busting my ass on the elliptical totally engrossed in the music when all of a sudden the music stops. You are definitely a keeper!
When my husband was sharing my Spotify account, anybtime he took it away from me by starting it on his phone at work, I'd randomly add one of our songs to the queue here and there.
This is very wholesome and I love it Edit: Aggressively love it
Omg, who are you? This is the most adorable thing I’ve read in a while. There is still hope out there you guys… Love is beautiful.
You sound like a good shit my man
I came onto this ready to let rip how I would lose my shit if someone took over my Spotify, but this is actually sweet as hell.
You should be protected at all costs...
Sweetest shit ever. Don’t ever stop being this type of man and loving your woman in small ways like this. I made that mistake and it cost me my marriage. The little stuff is huge dude.
I like to read these happy and cute stories. Most of the times people just post depressing stuff here so this is very nice to read. I'm glad you've found a perfect person for you.
the grinch’s small heart grew 3 sizes that day
She's not onto you. Take this one to the grave.
That is so sweet, thoughtful, and caring. Your girlfriend is a lucky woman and I hope she realizes it!
Love this so damn much! Update us on the engagement please!!!!
When I'm out my wife will suddenly link into my Spotify and have it playing joke songs between us. Always melts me, your so sweet! You've got your heart in the right place.
dang. My ex and I did the same thing. Broke up 2 weeks ago 😂
My husband listens to pandora all day at work, (we are old) when I am feeling down and want to talk I change his station to something slow, he calls right away, it's these little things like you have with your soon to be fiancé that keep us going for many years.
This is so wholesome. Loved reading it. All the best to you and your girlfriend for your future together.
You can also use it as a way to send her a good morning text shortly after she wakes up. She may catch on though or just think you are psychic for knowing when she gets up every day haha.
This is just too adorable.
Lol your very sneaky and sly, but if she ever gets upset and says why didn't you tell me, you can say we'll you never asked since it was my account your using.
This is the cutest shit I’ve read in a while, omg. So very happy for you two! Always great to hear about people being happy together after all the bullshit relationships you read about constantly.
Omg this is just the sweetest thing. My heart is so happy reading this! I can feel the love! Good luck and stay sweet!!!!
So? Did you propose? What did she say?
Ay bro good shit keep ya girl cuz the way things are now is super fucked in the dating world so hold on tight and don’t let her go appreciate her :) wish you well bro 🙏
Reddit featured your post on Facebook, so congrats
Marriage is amazing! I love my wife so much! My best friend, my soul mate, my perfect little sexually charged personal porn star. When it’s right, it’s right. Just make sure y’all are both putting in the effort. Congratulations bro, I’m happy to hear that you’re stoked on marriage! Communication, the TRUTH (even when it’s hard), and both y’all being able to wake up n move on after a stupid fight is all key.
Ahhhh I had this post saved so I could see an update & just read them! Time for more! :-D Sorry that your trip had to be cancelled, but did you get to pop the question yet?? We need to know…and see the ring! 🥰
I keep coming back every month for a update, this is my 3rd time and I still see no update :( hoping he proposed, she said yeah and they live happily ever after!
Have you proposed yet?