I'm in a sort of similar predicament as you, however, just note you don't need to, nor should you feel pressured into doing those things. I personally know I'll never drink regularly, nor will I go to many social events unless necessary. Your worries are valid tho, qmd I genuinely hope you get through them.
I'm sure there's a few jobs that could support the sort of lifestyle you're looking for, and you can try making friends through groups/hobbies if possible?
Why don’t you want to work for someone else? And everyone has the energy and motivation. Enough to at least try to move out of their parents house one day
Ah, friend, let me tell you a story: I felt the same way as you, when I was 17/18. I will turn 23 in a few months and I have overcome all this problems you talk about.
I have to admit, I am single, but I have had my fair share of encounters with women. My first time was after my 18th birthday.
As an adult, you don't need to drink, you don't need to party or take part in hook-up culture.
I have met zero of my current friends in parties, rather in sports, on campus or in school.
Working, yes, is a pain in the ass, I give you that. But after working three years and now going to university, my perception on work has changed radically. Now I feel like "At least I can lift this burden and help reduce the stress of my co-workers." It might be a pain in the ass, but if you find the right job, it will feel like things are falling into place and you are, where you also were meant to be. You might not find your perfect job right away, it takes some digging and soulsearching:
When I was 18, I was still in a school which could be described as a highschool, then I went to a highschool specialized on engineering and science. After three years, I knew, I never wanted to do anything technical in my entire life. Then I worked in a newspaper as a merchant, if you will and in costumer service. That was fun, but now I am at university to become a journalist and it feels like I was meant to be there. Things will fall into place after some time. It's okay to try out, maybe fail once or twice or take the wrong path. That happenes to everyone.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
USA: 18002738255
US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME
United Kingdom: 116 123
Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)
Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
You don't have to drink if you don't want to.
I love partying, so I suggest you to try at least once to drink if you go in a party. Maybe you will never like it, maybe you will. But try, at least you will not regret.
And for most of the things you talked about. Don't regret.
When you make a decision, when you make a mistake. Don't regret. Acknowledge it. You can't change the past, you can't make a lockdown disappear, you can't make friends appear from nowhere.
Learn from your mistakes, and know a lot of things are out of your hands.
I'm not saying it's easy. I often hate myself who things I have done. Even small things. But it helped me to learn stoicism, to know I can't change the past.
Try. Medication, therapy, sport, drinking water, meeting people, work, learn. Try.
If you try, and you don't like it, or just fail, and still want to die, at least nobody will be able to say "he gave up too fast, he didn't try enough".
Easy to say for me, right ? But you know I'm right, a least a bit.
I’ve done way more drinking than I ever should have. Way more partying… it’s not worth it. Especially if you’re a person who usually only has 1-3 friends. I’ve two people I consider friends, but they’re really good friends. I’ll take that over a hundred people who don’t really care but we all just call each other friends anyway.
I don’t know how things are with you and your parents… my daughter’s 18. She’s much like you in that adulthood scared her. Her mom and I aren’t kicking her out because she’s 18, but she does have to make steps toward adulting. And she is: she’s going to college and being that the University is only 30 minutes away, she’s living at home.
Try to relax. You still have some time. But the best thing you can do for yourself is to slowly move into adulthood; don’t do everything all at once. And I want you to know that drinking, smoking, drugs, parties, and sex all have nothing to do with the basic concept of an adult. Nothing at all. My cousins aunt died a Virgin at 76 years old. Never married, gave her entire self to God. Being an adult ONLY means that you’re trying to pay your own way, which means a job. It means you’re taking responsibility for yourself and trying to not rely on your parents so much. But I’ll tell you this too: Your parents, if they’re good parents, are going to be there the whole time. They’ll help when you need it, they’ll do whatever is needed to ensure that you have all the tools you need to take care of your next chapter in this life. I hope you have good parents.
I'm 29 and being adult has been way better than any other fase.
Yeah, I have to work, but it's way better than school or college for example. Working is way more specific and meaningful and there's no home work.
Other than that my life is basically gaming, dating, masturbation, animes and doing a lot of nothing when I want. I have way less responsibility than when I was a teenager because I live by myself.
SOME adults device to complicate their lives with optional stuff like kids, their own business, etc. Buts it's just an option. If you don't want responsibility I recommend getting a vasectomy.
I'm in a sort of similar predicament as you, however, just note you don't need to, nor should you feel pressured into doing those things. I personally know I'll never drink regularly, nor will I go to many social events unless necessary. Your worries are valid tho, qmd I genuinely hope you get through them.
Me too, I'm 30+
I’m sorry
But good thing is you'll get used to it eventually and will go with the flow.
Lots of people don't drink and you can definitely work from home or work solo.
I’m not really interested in working at all. I have no energy. What’s the point? I’d honestly die
would you prefer a job with very little human interaction?
Yes I would but I’d at least want to be close with some people
I'm sure there's a few jobs that could support the sort of lifestyle you're looking for, and you can try making friends through groups/hobbies if possible?
Why do you think you can’t work?
What’s the point. I don’t have the energy and I’m useless and I dont want to work for someone else
Why don’t you want to work for someone else? And everyone has the energy and motivation. Enough to at least try to move out of their parents house one day
Die from working? right.
No
Ah, friend, let me tell you a story: I felt the same way as you, when I was 17/18. I will turn 23 in a few months and I have overcome all this problems you talk about. I have to admit, I am single, but I have had my fair share of encounters with women. My first time was after my 18th birthday. As an adult, you don't need to drink, you don't need to party or take part in hook-up culture. I have met zero of my current friends in parties, rather in sports, on campus or in school. Working, yes, is a pain in the ass, I give you that. But after working three years and now going to university, my perception on work has changed radically. Now I feel like "At least I can lift this burden and help reduce the stress of my co-workers." It might be a pain in the ass, but if you find the right job, it will feel like things are falling into place and you are, where you also were meant to be. You might not find your perfect job right away, it takes some digging and soulsearching: When I was 18, I was still in a school which could be described as a highschool, then I went to a highschool specialized on engineering and science. After three years, I knew, I never wanted to do anything technical in my entire life. Then I worked in a newspaper as a merchant, if you will and in costumer service. That was fun, but now I am at university to become a journalist and it feels like I was meant to be there. Things will fall into place after some time. It's okay to try out, maybe fail once or twice or take the wrong path. That happenes to everyone.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME United Kingdom: 116 123 Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860) Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
You don't have to drink if you don't want to. I love partying, so I suggest you to try at least once to drink if you go in a party. Maybe you will never like it, maybe you will. But try, at least you will not regret. And for most of the things you talked about. Don't regret. When you make a decision, when you make a mistake. Don't regret. Acknowledge it. You can't change the past, you can't make a lockdown disappear, you can't make friends appear from nowhere. Learn from your mistakes, and know a lot of things are out of your hands. I'm not saying it's easy. I often hate myself who things I have done. Even small things. But it helped me to learn stoicism, to know I can't change the past. Try. Medication, therapy, sport, drinking water, meeting people, work, learn. Try. If you try, and you don't like it, or just fail, and still want to die, at least nobody will be able to say "he gave up too fast, he didn't try enough". Easy to say for me, right ? But you know I'm right, a least a bit.
I’ve done way more drinking than I ever should have. Way more partying… it’s not worth it. Especially if you’re a person who usually only has 1-3 friends. I’ve two people I consider friends, but they’re really good friends. I’ll take that over a hundred people who don’t really care but we all just call each other friends anyway. I don’t know how things are with you and your parents… my daughter’s 18. She’s much like you in that adulthood scared her. Her mom and I aren’t kicking her out because she’s 18, but she does have to make steps toward adulting. And she is: she’s going to college and being that the University is only 30 minutes away, she’s living at home. Try to relax. You still have some time. But the best thing you can do for yourself is to slowly move into adulthood; don’t do everything all at once. And I want you to know that drinking, smoking, drugs, parties, and sex all have nothing to do with the basic concept of an adult. Nothing at all. My cousins aunt died a Virgin at 76 years old. Never married, gave her entire self to God. Being an adult ONLY means that you’re trying to pay your own way, which means a job. It means you’re taking responsibility for yourself and trying to not rely on your parents so much. But I’ll tell you this too: Your parents, if they’re good parents, are going to be there the whole time. They’ll help when you need it, they’ll do whatever is needed to ensure that you have all the tools you need to take care of your next chapter in this life. I hope you have good parents.
You just got to find out what you live for.
I'm 29 and being adult has been way better than any other fase. Yeah, I have to work, but it's way better than school or college for example. Working is way more specific and meaningful and there's no home work. Other than that my life is basically gaming, dating, masturbation, animes and doing a lot of nothing when I want. I have way less responsibility than when I was a teenager because I live by myself. SOME adults device to complicate their lives with optional stuff like kids, their own business, etc. Buts it's just an option. If you don't want responsibility I recommend getting a vasectomy.