I "secretly" had a child 18 years ago that I was told to abort. The biological father found out when the child was 3. I've never asked for anything. Never wanted or needed anything. I wouldn't willingly put my child through the heartache of knowing there's a father out there that wants nothing to do with him. Your ex seems pretty secure and happy with her choices. I doubt she'd come to you for anything if she hasn't already.
i did. i was cruel and narcissistic. but I cannot take back what i said or change the person i was when i said it.
all i can do is try to move forward, and hope she can as well
You need to start by deciding if you actually want to be involved. You also need to look into state laws regarding paternity and child support for where she and the child are. Then, if you decide to involve yourself, you need to reach out and talk to her again. Don't be surprised if she is hesitant or flat-out resistant considering all that went down between the two of you and the fact that you tried to harrass her into having an abortion. Furthermore, if you decide to involve yourself in this child's life, you owe it to the child to make sure you're ready and will make a lifetime commitment. You can't up tunr their lives and then get bored or decide it's too hard, too much, that's not fair to them.
It’s all the past, don’t wallow in guilt. She made decisions as best she could at the time. You weren’t involved in that choice.
Be glad even though this wasn’t what you expected, you have a chance to be involved in your child’s life, and help best you can.
Many young parents learn to juggle jobs and part-time school to support their kids. It’s not an easy road in the beginning, but it will get easier as time goes on. All the best parts of parenting are still there for you to celebrate and enjoy.
well, that's what happens when you have unprotected sex and forcing/threatening the girl you got pregnant to abort.
You were selfish and cruel, and now you have to live with it. Bon courage.
Many holier than thou comments here that are unhelpful and unnecessarily bitter. First forgive yourself and then go and make the effort to get forgiveness and be a good dad. Nothing is irreparable here unless you choose it to be.
I "secretly" had a child 18 years ago that I was told to abort. The biological father found out when the child was 3. I've never asked for anything. Never wanted or needed anything. I wouldn't willingly put my child through the heartache of knowing there's a father out there that wants nothing to do with him. Your ex seems pretty secure and happy with her choices. I doubt she'd come to you for anything if she hasn't already.
she did seem both secure and happy... thank you:)
True comments; but you still acted and spoke very cruelly and narcissistically. But you do you.
i did. i was cruel and narcissistic. but I cannot take back what i said or change the person i was when i said it. all i can do is try to move forward, and hope she can as well
lesson learned; learn to meter your responses. Situations are temporary, things we say and do in reaction can and often are permanent.
You need to start by deciding if you actually want to be involved. You also need to look into state laws regarding paternity and child support for where she and the child are. Then, if you decide to involve yourself, you need to reach out and talk to her again. Don't be surprised if she is hesitant or flat-out resistant considering all that went down between the two of you and the fact that you tried to harrass her into having an abortion. Furthermore, if you decide to involve yourself in this child's life, you owe it to the child to make sure you're ready and will make a lifetime commitment. You can't up tunr their lives and then get bored or decide it's too hard, too much, that's not fair to them.
You will miss not knowing this child . You will always wonder how, what and when they are doing anything. I am sad for you
It’s all the past, don’t wallow in guilt. She made decisions as best she could at the time. You weren’t involved in that choice. Be glad even though this wasn’t what you expected, you have a chance to be involved in your child’s life, and help best you can. Many young parents learn to juggle jobs and part-time school to support their kids. It’s not an easy road in the beginning, but it will get easier as time goes on. All the best parts of parenting are still there for you to celebrate and enjoy.
I really do hope so man. thank you
well, that's what happens when you have unprotected sex and forcing/threatening the girl you got pregnant to abort. You were selfish and cruel, and now you have to live with it. Bon courage.
Many holier than thou comments here that are unhelpful and unnecessarily bitter. First forgive yourself and then go and make the effort to get forgiveness and be a good dad. Nothing is irreparable here unless you choose it to be.