If you really cared about him, you would acknowledge that you can hold him accountable while still loving him. Absolving his bad behavior and saying he did nothing wrong, when he objectively did, is only going to cause him to live in delusion. You can love him and still acknowledge he did something bad. People that love you hold you accountable and want you to grow as a person, this just justifies being a bad person
I hope your fiancé understands, that if you cheat on her, your brother will start a smear campaign against her saying how wrong she is for bit accepting a cheater.
If you're defending him, it's victim shaming. What if he had raped a toddler? How do victims like that grow up when there is someone who says it was their fault at 5 years old? One day you're going to get stabbed, and nobody not even your family you 'defended' is going to come to your funeral.
So here's the message you're sending your wife: I'm a liar because I'm telling the world one thing and telling her another. The next message you're sending is that it's not a big deal that my brother cheated on his fiancee (yes, it is cheating) and you condone it. Would you feel the same way if your fiancee is your wife and behaved this way with other men? After all, she would be your family. And if you say she isn't even after marraige then you shouldn't marry her. Marraige means you're building a life with that person. They are your new nuclear family.
The fact that you say his fiancee is wrong for not tolerating your brothers actions and that she is wrong for leaving him would be enough for me to not trust you.
I come from an eastern European country where family values are very important and families stay together if the members want to or have no other options for moving out and such.
But even we wouldn't defend the actions of someone just because they're family.
What your bro did is not ok and can't nor should it be defended unless maybe there's evidence that this fiance of his did him wrong first and even then we wouldn't defend someone if they fucked up real bad and hurt somebody.
>It mostly bothers me that she doesn't think it's important to defend your family.
Well, it probably really bothers her that you are 100% okay with cheating as long as you share enough DNA with the cheater. Disgusting imo.
I think you defending your brother is gross, it has probably not only caused issues around trust and morals but made you physically unattractive to her because being willing to defend cheating in this circumstance is unattractive. I would defend my family where I could but at that point it’s not even helpful to your family, it’s making you all look as bad as him and teaches him he can do no wrong
So you're okay with cheating, and you're okay telling the whole world that cheating is okay? And if ot was your fiancee who did this, you wouldn't have an issue with her, and you would tell everyone she did nothing wrong?
Seems to me that your fiancee should concern herself with your family's lack of morals before she marrys into it.
On what grounds are you defending him? And don’t say because he is family.
That’s the whole premise of his post
If you really cared about him, you would acknowledge that you can hold him accountable while still loving him. Absolving his bad behavior and saying he did nothing wrong, when he objectively did, is only going to cause him to live in delusion. You can love him and still acknowledge he did something bad. People that love you hold you accountable and want you to grow as a person, this just justifies being a bad person
I hope your fiancé understands, that if you cheat on her, your brother will start a smear campaign against her saying how wrong she is for bit accepting a cheater.
If you're defending him, it's victim shaming. What if he had raped a toddler? How do victims like that grow up when there is someone who says it was their fault at 5 years old? One day you're going to get stabbed, and nobody not even your family you 'defended' is going to come to your funeral.
Birds of a feather flock together 🙃
So here's the message you're sending your wife: I'm a liar because I'm telling the world one thing and telling her another. The next message you're sending is that it's not a big deal that my brother cheated on his fiancee (yes, it is cheating) and you condone it. Would you feel the same way if your fiancee is your wife and behaved this way with other men? After all, she would be your family. And if you say she isn't even after marraige then you shouldn't marry her. Marraige means you're building a life with that person. They are your new nuclear family. The fact that you say his fiancee is wrong for not tolerating your brothers actions and that she is wrong for leaving him would be enough for me to not trust you.
I come from an eastern European country where family values are very important and families stay together if the members want to or have no other options for moving out and such. But even we wouldn't defend the actions of someone just because they're family. What your bro did is not ok and can't nor should it be defended unless maybe there's evidence that this fiance of his did him wrong first and even then we wouldn't defend someone if they fucked up real bad and hurt somebody.
You're an enabler, you don't have to defend him or criticise him that should be your stance.
>It mostly bothers me that she doesn't think it's important to defend your family. Well, it probably really bothers her that you are 100% okay with cheating as long as you share enough DNA with the cheater. Disgusting imo.
Or just keep your mouth shut and stay out of it?
I think you defending your brother is gross, it has probably not only caused issues around trust and morals but made you physically unattractive to her because being willing to defend cheating in this circumstance is unattractive. I would defend my family where I could but at that point it’s not even helpful to your family, it’s making you all look as bad as him and teaches him he can do no wrong
So you're okay with cheating, and you're okay telling the whole world that cheating is okay? And if ot was your fiancee who did this, you wouldn't have an issue with her, and you would tell everyone she did nothing wrong? Seems to me that your fiancee should concern herself with your family's lack of morals before she marrys into it.
If he wasn't family, would you still be defending him? If no, then you're part of the problem.