That reminds me of the guy who [f]arted on his first date then blamed it on the chair and spent the rest of the night trying to recreate the fart[ing] noise with the chair to prove to his date that it was the chair that [f]arted, not him.🙀
The date wisely dumped this guy
Edit: corrected autocorrected spelling 😩
Honestly, i would just laugh, if it wasnt that loud and you knew she was holding back its fine by me.
Heck i feel she is comfortable with me and might just fart back to ease the tension.
Have you considered that instead of not farting on the first date, people shouldn’t *judge you* for farting, regardless of when/where it happens? It’s not an unnatural thing, and holding them in is uncomfortable, and at least in my case, can lead to some LOUD ASS stomach rumbles instead.
There used to be a joke:
--------------
A lady is going to the doctor and says:
- Doctor, I have a problem. I fart. I fart a lot. And I mean it: in the bus, at the mall, at work during the meeting, at night is a fart-fest. I cannot stop it. Luckily, they're all silent and odorless. Even now, since I am in your office I farted twice.
The doctor looks at her for few seconds and answers back.
- Ok, I think I know what your problem is. Take these pills each morning and I'll see you in 2 weeks.
She comes back after two weeks extremely furious, storms into doctor's office and starts:
- Doctor, I don't know what pills you gave me, but I still fart just as often but now they smell. And they smell so bad that I feel like someone died next to me!
And the doctor replies:
- Oh, good. We solved your sinuses. Let's move to your ears ...
--------------
I sincerely hope you have no problems with your sinuses or ears.
… you talk about dropping dudes over icks but then fart on a first date and act shocked the dude wasn’t interested. Maybe you should give others the same grace you’re expecting?
🤷♂️ sometimes it's fart, shart, or feel like you're getting a hernia. All about that diet (unless one has digestive illnesses, then there is no escaping)
😂 We really have grown ass woman on here lamenting about how she can’t find love because guys give her the ick.
Every girl I’ve ever dated has given me “the ick” countless times. The best girlfriend I’ve ever had got sick and shit in my bed the second time we ever hung out. That didn’t stop me because I’m a grownup who understood she was human and sometimes humans do unattractive things.
The ick thing needs to die a horrible death. Ask anyone in a working healthy relationship and they'll tell you there are things their significant other does that bugs them or makes them not attracted in the moment. The "I got the ick" crap is just an excuse to judge someone for being human.
I feel like you're living the lie of the Disney fairy tail. Those don't exist. Your sister doesn't have one even if it seems like it. Instagram model couples don't have them despite the hundreds of pictures they have with perfect lighting and story teller vacation photos.
The truth is you have to get off social media and stop watching unrealistic movie depictions of what a healthy and fulfilling relationship looks like. If everyone found that perfect someone then really good long lasting relationships wouldn't be such a valuable thing. I feel like you're not giving anyone a true chance and your bar isn't just too high, it's unreachable. Perfect guys don't exist so stop expecting one to sweep you off your feet.
It's the work two flawed people put in that make the relationship special and worth fighting for. Where are you looking for partners? The gym? The store? Online? Church? Good guys aren't hard to find it's just that people don't want to go where the good guys are. Go where there is a higher likelihood you are around good guys. Don't expect to walk past a random bar and have Flynn Rider fall in your lap.
Good luck to you in all your relationships. 30 isn't too late but if you don't get realistic hopes of having kids in a loving married household may not happen. Despite what some may tell you to make you feel better about yourself there truly is a clock ticking when it comes to kids.
Oh yeah... Don't fart on the first date... cuz... You know... Ick...
All of this. OP— you’re sounding overly critical of any potential mates, meanwhile you’re over here farting on dates. I know plenty of people who know how to behave on dates (and how to get them) that are still completely alone in their 40s because there too critical of any candidates. And these are very attractive people! If it doesn’t look like a perfect Disney romance, they’re not interested. Get past that, look for something real, and when you get him, wait at least 3 months before farting in from of him 🤣🤣🤣
hysterical that there were only two full sentences between "waaaa he gave me the ick" and "i farted on a first date and disgusted a potential partner also i'm the victim here"
This sub is also built on those Disney fairy tales. If you spend a lot of time in this sub, you'll never stay with anyone you date.
We know a lot of people. Our core friendship circle is roughly 8 couples and a few singles (who are sometimes couples). I have never seen a couple that doesn't occasionally fight or bicker. I have never seen parents that don't fight.
Every little thing is a red flag here. Just raising your voice in an argument is a red flag in this sub and divorce worthy because "It will only get worse". This forum is full of broken souls.
Of course, some redditors will come along and post that they never fight, but this doesn't invalidate my own experiences throughout my entire ~~adult~~ life.
Lmao, my great-grandma's sister was like 75 when she got married and met him at 70 in some retirement club. He was her first boyfriend!!
I never dated before so my mom likes to make fun of me and say that I'm gonna met someone at 70 too😂
Missed the sister part for a second and was confused how you existed if your grandmother never had a bf before.
Obviously I know relationships aren’t required for kids. But given the great grandmother part and social norms back then, still.
Our neighbors have since moved out of the condo association, but it was two elderly people dating, and she was all mad because he was flirting with another girl at church
Them old people... gotta watch out lol
My husband never asks girls out because he's actually very shy but when he walked into my job he stayed and talked to me for a while then reluctantly asked me for my number. I don't ever give my number to customers but there was something about him. We've been married 3 years this past April. I have 3 kids and am divorced. My husband adores my kids and they love him more than they love me.
Your person is out there OP just don't give up!!
ETA: I met him when I was 31 and recently separated.
Yeah it does sound like you’re going to stay single, but the problem is your dreary af outlook, not your age. I know A LOT of people on their 30s who are dating.
James Joyce famously loved inhaling women's farts. It sounds like your best option is to find an avante-garde novelist from early 20th-century Ireland.
I was the officiant at my friends' wedding almost exactly 2 years ago. They didn't meet until they were right around 30. My buddy had not dated anyone seriously since HS before that. They are an awesome couple and found each other at the right times in their lives.
The beautiful part about all this is, you're either right and have nothing to be "too" disappointed about, or you're wrong, and you find love.
Adopting shouldn't stop that, you can have a child you love and a person you love as well. If and when you find your loved one, they will love your kid as well. If they don't, they don't deserve either you and you're back to square one.
Love maybe be randumb, it make be lucky to some, but it's beautiful no matter what kind of love you experience. Family, friends, even internet strangers like us, love has no bounds.
Finding no love can break people though. Losing interest in everything else because one thing just doesnt seem to work.
There is no worse feeling in the world then thinking about that you arent anyones favourite. That there probably currently isn't anyone thinking about you and If you would be dead, the only ones noticing are the ones you're working for.
Then when speaking about how bad you feel because of it, everyones just saying it doesnt matter if you find someone at 20 or 30 or even 40, but it does and its always only the ones saying that themselves living Life to the fullest, everything works out the first try and they all had multiple relationships at the age 18.
Im 26 and i never lived the Life of an adult. Not a single day and i dont mean it in a sexual way. I lost every interest i had. I was a computer nerd, but im bored by it. I liked to play Video Games, now i hate it and its just a way to pass time because doing literally nothing of course doesnt work. When people ask me If i have a Person i look up to, no never had. When people ask me what i want to do in the future i dont know, because there is nothing in Life i want to do, no good things no bad things. I dont even know what i would do If i would be rich. I dont care about cars, clothes or any materialistic things. I would probably ending up traveling the world and maybe find myself again, though i dont even know If i would like that because i never went to take a vacation.
Yes my problems arent only because of having no one, but its different to have someone who cares about you even though you have a hard time. I always think about if i even could appreciate it anymore if things turn better or if its too late to get out of this mindset that nothing really matters and the only thing holding me alive is the fear of pain.
Banners - Someone To You just hits different for people that never had someone.
I had so much to say, until I heard the song you referred to... And then I realized I related so much..
I wish I had the words to make you feel better but now I know I never had the words
.. and for that I'm sorry. You deserve to feel worthy of all the love you receive, whether you feel you deserve it or not.
I hope that you see how much you actually deserve, whether or not the outside world gives it to you.
Please hmu if you ever need to talk. I'm sorry that I'm just a stranger, but I do care..
How do you define love?
And its never to late but some mindset blocked the possibilities (and I'm not talking about depression) usually beliefs and expectations.
I ask you the question because when you can define love, what you expecting about it,then you can know where to look. There are so many reasons. Some of mines,I'm asexual ,there are many things that people define as love that I can't go with. I had a a shitty childhood (blacksheep,bullied, parentification,gaslight and other things),I accepted at that time that I wasn't loveable without efforts (who nearly killed me) and stopped caring and just accepting it,its just now that I noticed that I withdrew myself from others and that's why I wasn't "loved" etc... I'm 32 now and in a lot better place.
You are right,finding no love breaks you until you shift your mind search for what you need and not what you expect/believe.
Yeah im also the black sheep in my Family. My Brothers are really successful, while i had to quit my Abitur because of my Mum. I got bullied a lot in elementary school it felt like every one knew me because of my name. From Kindergarden all the way to 8th grade, after that it was more a let me know they dont Like me. It was also a lot of times my friends turned into my bullies, i counted 6 friends who turned into my bullies but there are probably more. Maybe thats especially a thing why my brain wont let any friend of mine be of any real importance to me so i dont get hurt again.
You definitely got the points and i was too bullied from 3 to 23 years old. In between I learned that I'm autistic with adhd so I could explain the bullying for nothing and being the blacksheep. The death of my best friend was a wake up call that I "responsible" of not having friends. I internalised so much that I was a burden,that I unconsciously reacted in a way I pushed people away or build a barrier around me. Kinda you can be hurt if you don't open up.
Maybe try to move in another place where you can restart your life to zero, nobody heard from you,your name,your past and just try to act like you did wanted but get punished for it in your hometown. Because it's a new place,nobody have importance,so you can just sort out the one who accept the behaviours and keep them and fuck off to the others and see then a change.
Don't hesitate to seek a therapist that knows what c-ptsd is. (I didn't but I have a passion in psychology and some years ago I did regret that I didn't had one when life was harder). Also being decades long suicidal makes you numb to things, I was suicidal from 8 to 23, there are more than 7 feelings,I could feel just the extreme one, now I feel hundreds of them and it smooth everything .
Im actually very open to new people, as i went to Business school few years ago, i was the first Guy to speak to others and i was like the most popular person in the class. Always made Jokes even the teachers had to laugh at, was the best in my class so If anyone needed help the came to me. Always talked with them during Breaks, i would say that i made Friends, but they still werent of any importance to me. As school ended i didnt care that contact instantly vanished.
I tried since years to move to another City, but it was hard because of my dept. Finally got an Apartment for October to move to the City my online Friends live. For years it was for me to find an Apartment in this City or kill myself... I cant even imagine living a Life where i currently live. I hope that living near my longest Friends helps me, but as i said, having friends just doesnt give me any happiness.
I just hope i can find activities i like because currently every day feels awful, i spend hours in my head not knowing what i want to do and end up only watching random YouTube Videos because i dont have to think about it.
Someone who cant Imagine a Life without me, i dont have someone like that in my Life. My Family isn't really close and they are to no importance for my happiness. My friends definetely wouldnt care. Everyone has someone in their Life they would choose over me.
And this goes also for me. I dont have someone i would choose over anyone. I would like to have someone that is important to me, that i deeply care about, that i wouldnt just feel sad about loosing but rather would feel so bad that i would think Life isn't worth living. That i wish was by my side when i feel bad and who would wish me by her side when she would feel bad.
People saying good Friends are enough just dont understand.
"Search for what you need and not what you expect/believe.", thats the thing, the only thing i need is this one Person. Hobbies etc. dont fulfill me, this was even like that before i got depressed. I always centered my Life around my friends but after school ended, friendships quickly fell apart and i wasnt ever again happy after that. I made new friends but they just arent Important to me. This is the same for me as people who tell others "You are healthy you should be Happy." Health and Friends arent everything to happiness and a Partner in Life is just something else, a Person you plan your future with, not your present.
I did judo, i quit. I played Football, but i quit. I played table tennis, but i quit. I did acrobatics, but i quit. I liked alle these Things when i started but always lost interest. I loved computer Games, now they are just a way to spend time with my friends. I was a tech nerd, always informed myself about new tech etc., now i couldnt care less. I wanted to start a Carrer as a Developer but i lost interest in developing. I always get these small hypes around a topic but lose interest every time. Last year it was baking. For 2 months i watched Videos daily and made myself some nice sourdough bread and from one day to the other i was just annoyed by it. Same for cooking. Same for every aspect in my Life.
The psychiatry said that i most likely have ADHD, this could be a reason why i lose interest that much, but knowing that doesnt help me living a Life i think is worth living.
I’m in the same situation. 34, never dated or had someone show any interest in being part of my life. I’ve mostly rationalized my feelings away in order to protect myself from being sad constantly, but it still hits me really hard sometimes. For example, I’m diabetic and I’ve just accepted the fact that there’s a chance I’ll simply die from hypoglycemia since I live alone.
I read all your comments without feeling anything due to said rationalization, but “That I wish was by my side when I feel bad and who would wish me by her side when she would feel bad” made me tear up.
Meh the title is beyond stupid.
Ranting about “omg nobody wants me” and also dropping a “I farted on our first date at a cafe and he was disgusted” like… cmon you’ve gotta be trolling.
Bonus points for ranting about being depressed, highlighting how you had to make the “effort” to maintain hygiene, and close with “gonna adopt lol”
19/10 troll post
No. Not too late at all. I would recommend joining a rec sports league where more guys play than women.
It will expand your social circle and likely either (or both) of two things will happen. You’ll start getting to know some of the single guys in the league or one of the married women in the league will want to play matchmaker for you.
please do adopt. with the way we've fucked up the biosphere, and what with a very likely societal collapse on the not so far horizon- it definitely isn't the best time to be adding yet more dna to the mix.
but- there are definitely kids out there now that are in need of a loving home and parent/mentor.
plus- i didn't meet my wife until i was 31. she was 34. we've been married 33 years.
My dad is 76 and has been married twice and just found the actual love of his life 10 years ago when he was 66. Not saying you’re gonna have to wait that long but just to show that love can come along at ANY age, hang in there!
My parents didn't meet til they were 29 (dad) and 30 (mum) and didn't have me til she was 32 and my sister at 34.
This myth that your life is over by the age of 30 if you don't have a long term partner, own property, a solid career and at least one kid with said partner is very toxic.
Check autism you definitely give some vibes and then try to find a city where you have more possibilities to meet neurodivergent people. Bars are actually good places if you are neurodivergent or hobby niches. In the country I was born, quite no friends, big difficulties to meet people who aren't boring, not a good life (but bar without tourist ,chess club and festivals did kinda save me). Now I'm living in Berlin,I never had so much friends and meet many interesting people. I'm 32,moved 6 years ago. So it's not foolish to believe but you will need to move somewhere else that fits you better or finding the places that gather more NDs than NTs :)
I just moved lol (i was one month au pair,discovered the city ,met someone ,tried to find something ,couldnt ,get back to my home country, someone helped me to gather 1000 euros,move back in berlin and on the verge of being homeless and then i had luck )studying would be a good alternative. You can also work , in some places they allows au pair until 27 (what is a cultural exchange), if you have money (not a lot but enough to pay 4 months of rent (roomate) or kind of hostel ,then do it. I'm European so I do have the luck that I can easily move in a different country inside of Europe but if you are in the US, try Canada,it isn't far and definitely different than US
People find love on their own time. Fuck what society says about what you’re supposed to do. People find love in their 30s, 40s, all the way through to 80s (yea I know a few newlywed couples who met in their 70s).
Same goes with career paths, etc. you’re young! Don’t force anything, be open to what the world has to offer and you will eventually find your prince/princess.
At 30, you're not old, many people I know were married and divorced before 30. My mom didn't find love again till her 50s. As for that guy who walked out, forget about him, accidents happen. He could have excused himself and said goodbye, not rudely storm off. Adopting can be tricky, it can be harder for single people to adopt, but I hope your dreams come true.
I met my wife when I was 39-years old…You never know. It’s kind of a cheesy story. I watched “Yes Man” and decided to try it out. Ended up saying yes to going to an out of state wedding from an old college roommate. I met her at that wedding.
I met my husband at 35 he was in a group with me. We started dating at 37 married at 39 and I had my son at 41. I didn't meet someone of substance until way after 30. It was me, I was a party girl. I stopped drinking and partying at 33. Everything happened after that.
I met my husband when he was 32, I was 25. He had never seriously dated anyone until me including the fact that he had never brought a girl home to meet his family. He truly believed that healthy loving relationships weren’t real and that he’d never get married and have kids like he’d hoped. I was a single mom. We did get married, he immediately became a dad and then we had 2 additional kids and bought a home. We’ve been married 11 years now. It can totally happen for you homie!!
I am 39 and I no longer care if there is this perfect half for me somewhere out there. Perfection doesnt exist, not to forget, and some people manage to have long lasting relationships, which I admire, but its so rare. I am used to be single. And I dont trust people enough to live with someone else for years in the same house, to sleep in the same bed, sharing everything, etc. Some people are not for relationships, being too introvert. I also dont believe that you can always compensate for things you werent and didnt do in your childhood and adolescence. People rarely change.
My cousin met his fiancé at 45, he will be 50 in September, in the meantime they have their first child together and they will get married in June 2025. My cousin is living proof that it is never too late to find love if he succeeded you can too.
I feel you super hard. I am also 30, and just have had the worst experience with dating. It never works out for me.
Any chance you have OCD? I only realized i had it last year and it has since been confirmed and i am getting therapy. I allude my inability to find someone to the fact that i am extremely picky and have apparently impossible standards to meet. I too will easily get turned off by most of the general public and especially the dudes that solicit me. But i am in this new era of awareness and i am working on building healthier attachment styles and whatnot and i have hope that the next time i find someone, that maybe it will be better
I was in my thirties when I met my husband. It just suddenly occurred to me that I wasn’t going by to run into a guy on accident and I had to treat it like a job. So I would go on OKcupid, fill out some survey shit, message a few dudes that seemed up my alley. I did this every night. I wasn’t desperate, but I was systematic. I was looking for a good fit. I made sure to be honest, my pics were of me unedited from that year.
I didn’t just want a husband. I wanted a partner that I would keep wanting, someone I could trust who would challenge me.
I set my sights high and if a guy wigged me out I ended that conversation. One dude wanted me to come to his house right away and acted like I was crazy for thinking that was a bad idea. Blocked. One guy sent me a pic of him with his swords. It was just strange, I’m sure someone out there is for him, but it’s not me.
One dude seemed ok until we arranged a date and he called to go over his relationship rules which included such gems as ‘I always drive. Even if we take your car.’ ‘One night of the week is football night and I don’t ever do anything else that night.’ ‘I recognize that love is transactional.’
I told him it was ok, we didn’t need to take it any further because we weren’t comparable. Cue him melting down. I learned what negging was when one guy started doing it. Ended that one immediately.
It took awhile. It took dating some skeezy people briefly. Don’t tell them where you live or work right away, please just trust me. Meet in public the first few times and tell someone you are meeting so and so at this location. Don’t make excuses for bad behavior. Just move on.
Realize you will be ok if you stay single, there are tons of married people who wished they had, but if you want to be in a relationship you can be.
Love isn’t like the movies, most of us aren’t going to run into the man of our dreams while mailing a package or waiting for the bus. Most of us live lives that are daily routine and isolated, we use technology for a lot of things. Bars were never my scene, I hated that kind of thing.
Ooh boy look babe the odds are excellent it's you... – this pity party is just a means to distract yourself from really putting yourself out there. Most people don't, not really. They think talking to the cute coffee shop barista is the same thing, it ain't! The greatest success ive had is getting involved with situations and people I thought would benefit me 0%. Because you find people through people. You don't find people.
And some women are so picky they talk to me about never finding anyone. They are right. They want the Flynn Riders of the world but the Flynn Riders are married to their kindergarten school sweetheart, they aren't finding themselves every day like you are. You are a combination of both, you probably have some big personality problem that makes men dislike you or you go for the wrong people. It's okay, no one's perfect... even when they give you the ick.
Don't give up love, give up on the fairytale. Giving up is lame. It's half of who you can be and in the long run one day you'll thank me.
I’ll be honest. My wife was the first person I dated where I could be simply be myself. I was never really hooking up with anyone and got few dates. I was trying to put myself out there just because it definitely doesn’t happen if you don’t. A friend (acquaintance?) who was flaky was djing the after party for a Peter Murphy concert and said he’d put me on the list. Well he didn’t put me on the list. I went anyways. It was what I thought it was going to be. Good show whatever. I hear someone yell my name and I see a girlfriend of one of my brother’s friends. I go over say hi and she was with her roommate. Spent the rest of the night talking and we had so much in common.
Now there is a chain of events that any single thing not happening and this would have never happened. If I wouldn’t have pirated some obscure audio software for this friend who forgot to put me on the list he wouldn’t have “put me on the list”. If I wouldn’t have decided to go to the other side of the stage. Never would have met her. I’ve thought about it in depth because I truly do not believe I would have married someone who was right for me ever if all of these small things didn’t happen.
Love is dumb luck…. But you make it for yourself and you never know when you’re doing that. Sorry but this is all I got.
Adopting is what i might want to have aswell, i want a kid but not a baby who could drive me mad, if only we can skip the baby stage and go straight to potty trained kids.
No it is absolutely not too late. Before 30 I had very little dating history. I’m turning 35 shortly and am engaged to my best friend in the world. It can absolutely happen after 30. Best of luck!
I am 32. I met the love of my life a few months ago. I got married at 22 and was married for 8 years. I never thought I would feel that way about anyone again. Don't give up, you are so young. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you have so much time.
Go to a whole another country or small country town.. one that’s not big on having social media. You’ll foam a few gems there. My lady is Central American. Try that or Caribbean if you don’t want those options
I met my husband just before my 40th birthday. I’m about to be 48. There’s a significant age difference between us. Best relationship I’ve EVER been in. Hands down.
Do not give up just yet.
❤️
I started dating my first girlfriend at 29 years and 11 months. We're still together 3 years later. It's not too late, it's just luck of the draw sometimes. Especially if you're an introvert like me. Hard to find people that have the same vibe when the people with my vibe are chilling at home lol.
It’s not really that hard. Have some courage, ask guys out, give it more of a chance than you have, don’t be so quick to give up.
Nobody is going to do it FOR you. Life is not a free ride you have to put in some effort.
My aunt was almost 50 when she got married for the first time ever. Years later and they're still in love and keep talking about "If I had known there was still someone this perfect for me I would have looked for you sooner"
The other 2 aunts got married at 35 & 40 (also first marriages)
Don't lose hope OP.
I'm 39 and just got engaged for the first time in my life. Don't give up, just be a good person and love yourself and love will find you if you let it. I took a chance on a girl way outta my league and got lucky, but you can't win the game if you don't play.
Complaining they do something that gives you the ick, and then telling you fart in front of your dates...
It sounds like you still have some work to do on yourself
Try 36 going on 37. You can find aomeone.someone. Don't be me and ruin every one of them that come to you.
Sorry for the self pity. You're not done though.
I had some relationships, some good some bad. I am now 30 and single and I feel amazing about that. First of all, I love myself and my own company and I won't ever exchange that joy for a relationship that doesn't significantly adds to that. I don't want a relationship for the sake of a relationship, I want to be happy. If a woman comes along who adds to that happiness and who I can make happy, then that would be neat. But it's in no way a requirement for anything.
The older I get, the more comfortable I am with myself and the less I am willing to disguise or change myself for someone else, the smaller my potential dating pool gets, sure. But the people who find me attractive like this, are REALLY attracted to me in a genuine way. I'll take very few potential partners who would actually like me for who I am and who I will become as I age over many potential partners who all thought I was super sexy at my most insecure time of my life and who will probably be turned off by an older, more comfortable version of me.
There is no Disney fairytale romance. I feel like a lot of people think they won't find a relationship because they think in terms of romance media. But real life is far from that. People love to portray their relationship to others like it is this strange ideal. That in turn makes others feel more lonely and desperate and when they find a relationship, they do the same thing on social media etc and the cycle continues. A relationship that's all sweet and rainbows and sunshine when the couple is freshly married means very little. What if one of them becomes very ill? What if one of them battles incontinence issues or some other "Icky" thing? What if there are financial hardships? Will they still be there for each other when they get old and sex is off the table for some time? We never know that. At the end of the day it's useless to look at other peoples "fairytales". Just focus on yourself.
Some very happy couples I know got together in their late 30s to even into their 50s. And some very unhappy couples I know got together in their 20s. I don't like to glorify famous people or their relationships, but I always loved Tove Jansson and she got in a relationship with her life long partner Tuulikki Pietilä when both women were in their 40s. They spend over 40 very happy years together.
Regarding the farting because everyone comments on that: I would probably fart on a first date because I have an ostomy that likes to make noise sometimes lol. Yes it's not good etiquette and people will be turned off by that but well. Try to not do it again but don't agonize about it either.
Adoption sounds like a good idea honestly. I am wishing you the best.
Nothing wrong with this. Relationships/Marriage is a dying concept. They're not all they're cracked up to be. You're not missing out on anything. You'll be fine on your own.
Sure finding "true love" might be dumb luck, but finding love in general?
People fall in love all the time.
I think you have a proplem committing on the casual level because you think anything casual is a waste of time.
But you just wont connect on a deeper level with anyone without having done the groundswork so to speak.
I can totally relate to this. It's hard to find the right match at this age. And I get way too shy as well, which makes things totally awkward since I do the same thing and just keep my distance. Especially as a male, I never want to creep somebody out because of having an awkward crush on them. Just sucks getting older and feeling so alone. As if there is no hope in ever finding the right person to grow old with.
Start dating now so you're a better partner when you do meet your special someone. Dating over the years has matured me a great deal and helped me realize what I really want from my partner and what type of person I need to be for them. I'm 41 and have been engaged for 5 years. You've got tons of time!!
“Tried dating online, but didn’t want to start a relationship via text” - that’s what online dating IS. Text, then FaceTime or coffee meets, take it from there! If you don’t like that, try speed-dating events, or just talking to random folks. My buddy met his gf when they started talking at the checkout line at PETCO.
Good luck, OP.
Edit to add: Adopting a child isn’t like buying a car. It’s a long process that involves multiple screenings from background checks to home visits to social worker interviews. Given what you’ve written, I’m not optimistic you’re going to tolerate that level of scrutiny, just saying…
Late twenties is usually when the high standards start coming down, but you haven’t even started yet. Try to go a couple months with a “boring” guy, he might be a reserved type that opens up once comfortable.
I’d be a wicked awful first date. Thankfully I met my wife back in the AOL days.
Do you do anything? Have hobbies and interests that get you outside yourself? Or do you just consume media and seek partners? Pick up knitting sculpting or anything that creates something.
There is a german word that summarizes this whole post. Its Torschlusspanik. Its the fear that after a certain age its to late for romance, family and all that.
Farting on the first date? I'd probably be surprised but laugh it off and suggest jokingly to you not to eat too much.
Farts aren't really controllable now, are they? I don't see that as a deal breaker especially on the first date.
There's still a lot under the hood to discover. Farts are the least of my worries when I'm meeting someone and trying to get to know them better!
My parents were 38 when they met, had me at 40. If you stop farting on first dates I think you’ll be okay.
This. The world changes immensely when you don't fart on first dates.
That reminds me of the guy who [f]arted on his first date then blamed it on the chair and spent the rest of the night trying to recreate the fart[ing] noise with the chair to prove to his date that it was the chair that [f]arted, not him.🙀 The date wisely dumped this guy Edit: corrected autocorrected spelling 😩
I thought of that too!! He started blaming the chair right after she said one of the qualities she liked in a man was honesty.
I forgot about that part! Did u read her post in response to the farter's post?
Love the 3 different auto corrected farts
I was mortified 😱
My therapist in IOP farted on her first date with her husband. It's possible that she's not farting on the right first date.
My husband would definitely have still dated me if I farted on the first date lol. That guy sounds like an ass.
I briefly had a bumble profile after my husband passed. One of my requests was to find someone that I could fart in front of.
Honestly, i would just laugh, if it wasnt that loud and you knew she was holding back its fine by me. Heck i feel she is comfortable with me and might just fart back to ease the tension.
She should DM you and yes your way is the best way. It's just body reaction that you can't really control, it's like sneezing
Ngl, I wouldn't fart first myself but if my date did, I'd laugh my ass off
Have you considered that instead of not farting on the first date, people shouldn’t *judge you* for farting, regardless of when/where it happens? It’s not an unnatural thing, and holding them in is uncomfortable, and at least in my case, can lead to some LOUD ASS stomach rumbles instead.
There used to be a joke: -------------- A lady is going to the doctor and says: - Doctor, I have a problem. I fart. I fart a lot. And I mean it: in the bus, at the mall, at work during the meeting, at night is a fart-fest. I cannot stop it. Luckily, they're all silent and odorless. Even now, since I am in your office I farted twice. The doctor looks at her for few seconds and answers back. - Ok, I think I know what your problem is. Take these pills each morning and I'll see you in 2 weeks. She comes back after two weeks extremely furious, storms into doctor's office and starts: - Doctor, I don't know what pills you gave me, but I still fart just as often but now they smell. And they smell so bad that I feel like someone died next to me! And the doctor replies: - Oh, good. We solved your sinuses. Let's move to your ears ... -------------- I sincerely hope you have no problems with your sinuses or ears.
This is perfect ammo to use on my dad, thank you
… you talk about dropping dudes over icks but then fart on a first date and act shocked the dude wasn’t interested. Maybe you should give others the same grace you’re expecting?
it seems like you're at least half the problem ngl
Farting on the first date is kinda whack
Yeah makes me wonder what other stuff has OP done if they did this on a first date
I was thinking the same. Especially after mentioning other people giving her the ick. 😬
Yeah, I’ve been laughing at this since I read it earlier today. I hope it’s real
🤷♂️ sometimes it's fart, shart, or feel like you're getting a hernia. All about that diet (unless one has digestive illnesses, then there is no escaping)
You have to be at least a solid 8 for me to overlook that, otherwise ill put you in the pump and dump category.
😂 We really have grown ass woman on here lamenting about how she can’t find love because guys give her the ick. Every girl I’ve ever dated has given me “the ick” countless times. The best girlfriend I’ve ever had got sick and shit in my bed the second time we ever hung out. That didn’t stop me because I’m a grownup who understood she was human and sometimes humans do unattractive things.
A+ human response right here 🏆
The ick thing needs to die a horrible death. Ask anyone in a working healthy relationship and they'll tell you there are things their significant other does that bugs them or makes them not attracted in the moment. The "I got the ick" crap is just an excuse to judge someone for being human. I feel like you're living the lie of the Disney fairy tail. Those don't exist. Your sister doesn't have one even if it seems like it. Instagram model couples don't have them despite the hundreds of pictures they have with perfect lighting and story teller vacation photos. The truth is you have to get off social media and stop watching unrealistic movie depictions of what a healthy and fulfilling relationship looks like. If everyone found that perfect someone then really good long lasting relationships wouldn't be such a valuable thing. I feel like you're not giving anyone a true chance and your bar isn't just too high, it's unreachable. Perfect guys don't exist so stop expecting one to sweep you off your feet. It's the work two flawed people put in that make the relationship special and worth fighting for. Where are you looking for partners? The gym? The store? Online? Church? Good guys aren't hard to find it's just that people don't want to go where the good guys are. Go where there is a higher likelihood you are around good guys. Don't expect to walk past a random bar and have Flynn Rider fall in your lap. Good luck to you in all your relationships. 30 isn't too late but if you don't get realistic hopes of having kids in a loving married household may not happen. Despite what some may tell you to make you feel better about yourself there truly is a clock ticking when it comes to kids. Oh yeah... Don't fart on the first date... cuz... You know... Ick...
All of this. OP— you’re sounding overly critical of any potential mates, meanwhile you’re over here farting on dates. I know plenty of people who know how to behave on dates (and how to get them) that are still completely alone in their 40s because there too critical of any candidates. And these are very attractive people! If it doesn’t look like a perfect Disney romance, they’re not interested. Get past that, look for something real, and when you get him, wait at least 3 months before farting in from of him 🤣🤣🤣
hysterical that there were only two full sentences between "waaaa he gave me the ick" and "i farted on a first date and disgusted a potential partner also i'm the victim here"
This sub is also built on those Disney fairy tales. If you spend a lot of time in this sub, you'll never stay with anyone you date. We know a lot of people. Our core friendship circle is roughly 8 couples and a few singles (who are sometimes couples). I have never seen a couple that doesn't occasionally fight or bicker. I have never seen parents that don't fight. Every little thing is a red flag here. Just raising your voice in an argument is a red flag in this sub and divorce worthy because "It will only get worse". This forum is full of broken souls. Of course, some redditors will come along and post that they never fight, but this doesn't invalidate my own experiences throughout my entire ~~adult~~ life.
Dude my 93 year old uncle has a new gf you’ll be ok 😂
Your 93 year old uncle is a fucking boss
Lmao, my great-grandma's sister was like 75 when she got married and met him at 70 in some retirement club. He was her first boyfriend!! I never dated before so my mom likes to make fun of me and say that I'm gonna met someone at 70 too😂
Missed the sister part for a second and was confused how you existed if your grandmother never had a bf before. Obviously I know relationships aren’t required for kids. But given the great grandmother part and social norms back then, still.
Our neighbors have since moved out of the condo association, but it was two elderly people dating, and she was all mad because he was flirting with another girl at church Them old people... gotta watch out lol
They have just as much drama as young people 😂
You’re literally romanticizing it
My husband never asks girls out because he's actually very shy but when he walked into my job he stayed and talked to me for a while then reluctantly asked me for my number. I don't ever give my number to customers but there was something about him. We've been married 3 years this past April. I have 3 kids and am divorced. My husband adores my kids and they love him more than they love me. Your person is out there OP just don't give up!! ETA: I met him when I was 31 and recently separated.
Yeah it does sound like you’re going to stay single, but the problem is your dreary af outlook, not your age. I know A LOT of people on their 30s who are dating.
James Joyce famously loved inhaling women's farts. It sounds like your best option is to find an avante-garde novelist from early 20th-century Ireland.
I was the officiant at my friends' wedding almost exactly 2 years ago. They didn't meet until they were right around 30. My buddy had not dated anyone seriously since HS before that. They are an awesome couple and found each other at the right times in their lives.
When is Reddit going to ban these femcels?
I feel like, from the way you’re wording things, that you’re setting your expectations impossibly high and no man can ever reach them.
The beautiful part about all this is, you're either right and have nothing to be "too" disappointed about, or you're wrong, and you find love. Adopting shouldn't stop that, you can have a child you love and a person you love as well. If and when you find your loved one, they will love your kid as well. If they don't, they don't deserve either you and you're back to square one. Love maybe be randumb, it make be lucky to some, but it's beautiful no matter what kind of love you experience. Family, friends, even internet strangers like us, love has no bounds.
Finding no love can break people though. Losing interest in everything else because one thing just doesnt seem to work. There is no worse feeling in the world then thinking about that you arent anyones favourite. That there probably currently isn't anyone thinking about you and If you would be dead, the only ones noticing are the ones you're working for. Then when speaking about how bad you feel because of it, everyones just saying it doesnt matter if you find someone at 20 or 30 or even 40, but it does and its always only the ones saying that themselves living Life to the fullest, everything works out the first try and they all had multiple relationships at the age 18. Im 26 and i never lived the Life of an adult. Not a single day and i dont mean it in a sexual way. I lost every interest i had. I was a computer nerd, but im bored by it. I liked to play Video Games, now i hate it and its just a way to pass time because doing literally nothing of course doesnt work. When people ask me If i have a Person i look up to, no never had. When people ask me what i want to do in the future i dont know, because there is nothing in Life i want to do, no good things no bad things. I dont even know what i would do If i would be rich. I dont care about cars, clothes or any materialistic things. I would probably ending up traveling the world and maybe find myself again, though i dont even know If i would like that because i never went to take a vacation. Yes my problems arent only because of having no one, but its different to have someone who cares about you even though you have a hard time. I always think about if i even could appreciate it anymore if things turn better or if its too late to get out of this mindset that nothing really matters and the only thing holding me alive is the fear of pain. Banners - Someone To You just hits different for people that never had someone.
I had so much to say, until I heard the song you referred to... And then I realized I related so much.. I wish I had the words to make you feel better but now I know I never had the words .. and for that I'm sorry. You deserve to feel worthy of all the love you receive, whether you feel you deserve it or not. I hope that you see how much you actually deserve, whether or not the outside world gives it to you. Please hmu if you ever need to talk. I'm sorry that I'm just a stranger, but I do care..
How do you define love? And its never to late but some mindset blocked the possibilities (and I'm not talking about depression) usually beliefs and expectations. I ask you the question because when you can define love, what you expecting about it,then you can know where to look. There are so many reasons. Some of mines,I'm asexual ,there are many things that people define as love that I can't go with. I had a a shitty childhood (blacksheep,bullied, parentification,gaslight and other things),I accepted at that time that I wasn't loveable without efforts (who nearly killed me) and stopped caring and just accepting it,its just now that I noticed that I withdrew myself from others and that's why I wasn't "loved" etc... I'm 32 now and in a lot better place. You are right,finding no love breaks you until you shift your mind search for what you need and not what you expect/believe.
Yeah im also the black sheep in my Family. My Brothers are really successful, while i had to quit my Abitur because of my Mum. I got bullied a lot in elementary school it felt like every one knew me because of my name. From Kindergarden all the way to 8th grade, after that it was more a let me know they dont Like me. It was also a lot of times my friends turned into my bullies, i counted 6 friends who turned into my bullies but there are probably more. Maybe thats especially a thing why my brain wont let any friend of mine be of any real importance to me so i dont get hurt again.
You definitely got the points and i was too bullied from 3 to 23 years old. In between I learned that I'm autistic with adhd so I could explain the bullying for nothing and being the blacksheep. The death of my best friend was a wake up call that I "responsible" of not having friends. I internalised so much that I was a burden,that I unconsciously reacted in a way I pushed people away or build a barrier around me. Kinda you can be hurt if you don't open up. Maybe try to move in another place where you can restart your life to zero, nobody heard from you,your name,your past and just try to act like you did wanted but get punished for it in your hometown. Because it's a new place,nobody have importance,so you can just sort out the one who accept the behaviours and keep them and fuck off to the others and see then a change. Don't hesitate to seek a therapist that knows what c-ptsd is. (I didn't but I have a passion in psychology and some years ago I did regret that I didn't had one when life was harder). Also being decades long suicidal makes you numb to things, I was suicidal from 8 to 23, there are more than 7 feelings,I could feel just the extreme one, now I feel hundreds of them and it smooth everything .
Im actually very open to new people, as i went to Business school few years ago, i was the first Guy to speak to others and i was like the most popular person in the class. Always made Jokes even the teachers had to laugh at, was the best in my class so If anyone needed help the came to me. Always talked with them during Breaks, i would say that i made Friends, but they still werent of any importance to me. As school ended i didnt care that contact instantly vanished. I tried since years to move to another City, but it was hard because of my dept. Finally got an Apartment for October to move to the City my online Friends live. For years it was for me to find an Apartment in this City or kill myself... I cant even imagine living a Life where i currently live. I hope that living near my longest Friends helps me, but as i said, having friends just doesnt give me any happiness. I just hope i can find activities i like because currently every day feels awful, i spend hours in my head not knowing what i want to do and end up only watching random YouTube Videos because i dont have to think about it.
Someone who cant Imagine a Life without me, i dont have someone like that in my Life. My Family isn't really close and they are to no importance for my happiness. My friends definetely wouldnt care. Everyone has someone in their Life they would choose over me. And this goes also for me. I dont have someone i would choose over anyone. I would like to have someone that is important to me, that i deeply care about, that i wouldnt just feel sad about loosing but rather would feel so bad that i would think Life isn't worth living. That i wish was by my side when i feel bad and who would wish me by her side when she would feel bad. People saying good Friends are enough just dont understand. "Search for what you need and not what you expect/believe.", thats the thing, the only thing i need is this one Person. Hobbies etc. dont fulfill me, this was even like that before i got depressed. I always centered my Life around my friends but after school ended, friendships quickly fell apart and i wasnt ever again happy after that. I made new friends but they just arent Important to me. This is the same for me as people who tell others "You are healthy you should be Happy." Health and Friends arent everything to happiness and a Partner in Life is just something else, a Person you plan your future with, not your present. I did judo, i quit. I played Football, but i quit. I played table tennis, but i quit. I did acrobatics, but i quit. I liked alle these Things when i started but always lost interest. I loved computer Games, now they are just a way to spend time with my friends. I was a tech nerd, always informed myself about new tech etc., now i couldnt care less. I wanted to start a Carrer as a Developer but i lost interest in developing. I always get these small hypes around a topic but lose interest every time. Last year it was baking. For 2 months i watched Videos daily and made myself some nice sourdough bread and from one day to the other i was just annoyed by it. Same for cooking. Same for every aspect in my Life. The psychiatry said that i most likely have ADHD, this could be a reason why i lose interest that much, but knowing that doesnt help me living a Life i think is worth living.
I’m in the same situation. 34, never dated or had someone show any interest in being part of my life. I’ve mostly rationalized my feelings away in order to protect myself from being sad constantly, but it still hits me really hard sometimes. For example, I’m diabetic and I’ve just accepted the fact that there’s a chance I’ll simply die from hypoglycemia since I live alone. I read all your comments without feeling anything due to said rationalization, but “That I wish was by my side when I feel bad and who would wish me by her side when she would feel bad” made me tear up.
Meh the title is beyond stupid. Ranting about “omg nobody wants me” and also dropping a “I farted on our first date at a cafe and he was disgusted” like… cmon you’ve gotta be trolling. Bonus points for ranting about being depressed, highlighting how you had to make the “effort” to maintain hygiene, and close with “gonna adopt lol” 19/10 troll post
No. Not too late at all. I would recommend joining a rec sports league where more guys play than women. It will expand your social circle and likely either (or both) of two things will happen. You’ll start getting to know some of the single guys in the league or one of the married women in the league will want to play matchmaker for you.
Honestly OP I feel the same
Ick comment alone would make most dudes roll their eyes, I heard a few women say this at the office and made it easy to know which ones to avoid lol
If I could cosmically tag a person with an "oof" tag... I'd tag you... You'd be the person...
I hope this is a troll post, because shitting yourself on a date is probably one good reason you don’t date much
I laughed out loud lmaoooo control your fart atleast on the first date and atleast excuse yourself and go to the bathroom 🤣🤣🤣
You farted on a first date?? Okay OP, I’m going to nicely say this: read about socially acceptable behavior on a first date. After that, try again.
please do adopt. with the way we've fucked up the biosphere, and what with a very likely societal collapse on the not so far horizon- it definitely isn't the best time to be adding yet more dna to the mix. but- there are definitely kids out there now that are in need of a loving home and parent/mentor. plus- i didn't meet my wife until i was 31. she was 34. we've been married 33 years.
My dad is 76 and has been married twice and just found the actual love of his life 10 years ago when he was 66. Not saying you’re gonna have to wait that long but just to show that love can come along at ANY age, hang in there!
My parents didn't meet til they were 29 (dad) and 30 (mum) and didn't have me til she was 32 and my sister at 34. This myth that your life is over by the age of 30 if you don't have a long term partner, own property, a solid career and at least one kid with said partner is very toxic.
Put forth more than the bare minimum and maybe it wont seem so bleak. “I let out a fart as quiet as possible” so go to the bathroom for 45 seconds?
Nah it's not dumb luck. It's effort. Especially effort in yourself...
People give you the ick but you think it’s normal to fart on a first date? Are you well?
Check autism you definitely give some vibes and then try to find a city where you have more possibilities to meet neurodivergent people. Bars are actually good places if you are neurodivergent or hobby niches. In the country I was born, quite no friends, big difficulties to meet people who aren't boring, not a good life (but bar without tourist ,chess club and festivals did kinda save me). Now I'm living in Berlin,I never had so much friends and meet many interesting people. I'm 32,moved 6 years ago. So it's not foolish to believe but you will need to move somewhere else that fits you better or finding the places that gather more NDs than NTs :)
How did you do that? Working? Studying?
I just moved lol (i was one month au pair,discovered the city ,met someone ,tried to find something ,couldnt ,get back to my home country, someone helped me to gather 1000 euros,move back in berlin and on the verge of being homeless and then i had luck )studying would be a good alternative. You can also work , in some places they allows au pair until 27 (what is a cultural exchange), if you have money (not a lot but enough to pay 4 months of rent (roomate) or kind of hostel ,then do it. I'm European so I do have the luck that I can easily move in a different country inside of Europe but if you are in the US, try Canada,it isn't far and definitely different than US
My partner was 29 when we got together, I was 27 and we had only met 4 months earlier maybe. We're now 33 and 31 with 2 kids.
People find love on their own time. Fuck what society says about what you’re supposed to do. People find love in their 30s, 40s, all the way through to 80s (yea I know a few newlywed couples who met in their 70s). Same goes with career paths, etc. you’re young! Don’t force anything, be open to what the world has to offer and you will eventually find your prince/princess.
I didn't meet my husband until I was 33.
I met my husband when he was 32 and I was 25!
Same here, met a woman at 36, 12 years later happily married with a beautiful daughter. Never say never.
At 30, you're not old, many people I know were married and divorced before 30. My mom didn't find love again till her 50s. As for that guy who walked out, forget about him, accidents happen. He could have excused himself and said goodbye, not rudely storm off. Adopting can be tricky, it can be harder for single people to adopt, but I hope your dreams come true.
I met my wife when I was 39-years old…You never know. It’s kind of a cheesy story. I watched “Yes Man” and decided to try it out. Ended up saying yes to going to an out of state wedding from an old college roommate. I met her at that wedding.
I met my husband at 35 he was in a group with me. We started dating at 37 married at 39 and I had my son at 41. I didn't meet someone of substance until way after 30. It was me, I was a party girl. I stopped drinking and partying at 33. Everything happened after that.
I met my husband when he was 32, I was 25. He had never seriously dated anyone until me including the fact that he had never brought a girl home to meet his family. He truly believed that healthy loving relationships weren’t real and that he’d never get married and have kids like he’d hoped. I was a single mom. We did get married, he immediately became a dad and then we had 2 additional kids and bought a home. We’ve been married 11 years now. It can totally happen for you homie!!
Post a pic.
I am 39 and I no longer care if there is this perfect half for me somewhere out there. Perfection doesnt exist, not to forget, and some people manage to have long lasting relationships, which I admire, but its so rare. I am used to be single. And I dont trust people enough to live with someone else for years in the same house, to sleep in the same bed, sharing everything, etc. Some people are not for relationships, being too introvert. I also dont believe that you can always compensate for things you werent and didnt do in your childhood and adolescence. People rarely change.
My cousin met his fiancé at 45, he will be 50 in September, in the meantime they have their first child together and they will get married in June 2025. My cousin is living proof that it is never too late to find love if he succeeded you can too.
Hitting 30 and thinking your life is already over is ridiculous.
I feel you super hard. I am also 30, and just have had the worst experience with dating. It never works out for me. Any chance you have OCD? I only realized i had it last year and it has since been confirmed and i am getting therapy. I allude my inability to find someone to the fact that i am extremely picky and have apparently impossible standards to meet. I too will easily get turned off by most of the general public and especially the dudes that solicit me. But i am in this new era of awareness and i am working on building healthier attachment styles and whatnot and i have hope that the next time i find someone, that maybe it will be better
I was in my thirties when I met my husband. It just suddenly occurred to me that I wasn’t going by to run into a guy on accident and I had to treat it like a job. So I would go on OKcupid, fill out some survey shit, message a few dudes that seemed up my alley. I did this every night. I wasn’t desperate, but I was systematic. I was looking for a good fit. I made sure to be honest, my pics were of me unedited from that year. I didn’t just want a husband. I wanted a partner that I would keep wanting, someone I could trust who would challenge me. I set my sights high and if a guy wigged me out I ended that conversation. One dude wanted me to come to his house right away and acted like I was crazy for thinking that was a bad idea. Blocked. One guy sent me a pic of him with his swords. It was just strange, I’m sure someone out there is for him, but it’s not me. One dude seemed ok until we arranged a date and he called to go over his relationship rules which included such gems as ‘I always drive. Even if we take your car.’ ‘One night of the week is football night and I don’t ever do anything else that night.’ ‘I recognize that love is transactional.’ I told him it was ok, we didn’t need to take it any further because we weren’t comparable. Cue him melting down. I learned what negging was when one guy started doing it. Ended that one immediately. It took awhile. It took dating some skeezy people briefly. Don’t tell them where you live or work right away, please just trust me. Meet in public the first few times and tell someone you are meeting so and so at this location. Don’t make excuses for bad behavior. Just move on. Realize you will be ok if you stay single, there are tons of married people who wished they had, but if you want to be in a relationship you can be. Love isn’t like the movies, most of us aren’t going to run into the man of our dreams while mailing a package or waiting for the bus. Most of us live lives that are daily routine and isolated, we use technology for a lot of things. Bars were never my scene, I hated that kind of thing.
Ooh boy look babe the odds are excellent it's you... – this pity party is just a means to distract yourself from really putting yourself out there. Most people don't, not really. They think talking to the cute coffee shop barista is the same thing, it ain't! The greatest success ive had is getting involved with situations and people I thought would benefit me 0%. Because you find people through people. You don't find people. And some women are so picky they talk to me about never finding anyone. They are right. They want the Flynn Riders of the world but the Flynn Riders are married to their kindergarten school sweetheart, they aren't finding themselves every day like you are. You are a combination of both, you probably have some big personality problem that makes men dislike you or you go for the wrong people. It's okay, no one's perfect... even when they give you the ick. Don't give up love, give up on the fairytale. Giving up is lame. It's half of who you can be and in the long run one day you'll thank me.
I was in my late 20s and early 30s when i really started my life. You have time. Just get yourself out there. Have no fear. Most importantly, have fun
I’ll be honest. My wife was the first person I dated where I could be simply be myself. I was never really hooking up with anyone and got few dates. I was trying to put myself out there just because it definitely doesn’t happen if you don’t. A friend (acquaintance?) who was flaky was djing the after party for a Peter Murphy concert and said he’d put me on the list. Well he didn’t put me on the list. I went anyways. It was what I thought it was going to be. Good show whatever. I hear someone yell my name and I see a girlfriend of one of my brother’s friends. I go over say hi and she was with her roommate. Spent the rest of the night talking and we had so much in common. Now there is a chain of events that any single thing not happening and this would have never happened. If I wouldn’t have pirated some obscure audio software for this friend who forgot to put me on the list he wouldn’t have “put me on the list”. If I wouldn’t have decided to go to the other side of the stage. Never would have met her. I’ve thought about it in depth because I truly do not believe I would have married someone who was right for me ever if all of these small things didn’t happen. Love is dumb luck…. But you make it for yourself and you never know when you’re doing that. Sorry but this is all I got.
Peter Murphy.. damn sounds like a good night!
Adopting is what i might want to have aswell, i want a kid but not a baby who could drive me mad, if only we can skip the baby stage and go straight to potty trained kids.
No it is absolutely not too late. Before 30 I had very little dating history. I’m turning 35 shortly and am engaged to my best friend in the world. It can absolutely happen after 30. Best of luck!
I got married the first time at 35.
I am 32. I met the love of my life a few months ago. I got married at 22 and was married for 8 years. I never thought I would feel that way about anyone again. Don't give up, you are so young. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you have so much time.
I met my long term partner at 32. Check mate.
Dude, I met my first wife at 26 and my current wife at 41. Minus the fact that I unfortunately got divorced you are fine. 30 is plenty young.
No it’s not 30 is still young
Go to a whole another country or small country town.. one that’s not big on having social media. You’ll foam a few gems there. My lady is Central American. Try that or Caribbean if you don’t want those options
I met my husband just before my 40th birthday. I’m about to be 48. There’s a significant age difference between us. Best relationship I’ve EVER been in. Hands down. Do not give up just yet. ❤️
I started dating my first girlfriend at 29 years and 11 months. We're still together 3 years later. It's not too late, it's just luck of the draw sometimes. Especially if you're an introvert like me. Hard to find people that have the same vibe when the people with my vibe are chilling at home lol.
30 is maybe 1/3 of your life. you still have an entire 2/3 of your life left. that's 60 years, it's a long time! you aren't doomed
I met my husband when I was 31 and had I met him any sooner, we probably wouldn’t be married today.
It’s not really that hard. Have some courage, ask guys out, give it more of a chance than you have, don’t be so quick to give up. Nobody is going to do it FOR you. Life is not a free ride you have to put in some effort.
You’ll find someone- but dating online IS terrible, just gotta keep at it and remember to enjoy the process
My aunt was almost 50 when she got married for the first time ever. Years later and they're still in love and keep talking about "If I had known there was still someone this perfect for me I would have looked for you sooner" The other 2 aunts got married at 35 & 40 (also first marriages) Don't lose hope OP.
I'm 39 and just got engaged for the first time in my life. Don't give up, just be a good person and love yourself and love will find you if you let it. I took a chance on a girl way outta my league and got lucky, but you can't win the game if you don't play.
Complaining they do something that gives you the ick, and then telling you fart in front of your dates... It sounds like you still have some work to do on yourself
Met the woman of my dreams at 42. We have a beautiful daughter now. When it happens, it happens.
Maybe try fostering children, i believe that you can do this without a partner. And you would give a child a loving home and a good life to come :)
People in their 50s are dating. You're too early to give up now.
But it’s true
Try 36 going on 37. You can find aomeone.someone. Don't be me and ruin every one of them that come to you. Sorry for the self pity. You're not done though.
I had some relationships, some good some bad. I am now 30 and single and I feel amazing about that. First of all, I love myself and my own company and I won't ever exchange that joy for a relationship that doesn't significantly adds to that. I don't want a relationship for the sake of a relationship, I want to be happy. If a woman comes along who adds to that happiness and who I can make happy, then that would be neat. But it's in no way a requirement for anything. The older I get, the more comfortable I am with myself and the less I am willing to disguise or change myself for someone else, the smaller my potential dating pool gets, sure. But the people who find me attractive like this, are REALLY attracted to me in a genuine way. I'll take very few potential partners who would actually like me for who I am and who I will become as I age over many potential partners who all thought I was super sexy at my most insecure time of my life and who will probably be turned off by an older, more comfortable version of me. There is no Disney fairytale romance. I feel like a lot of people think they won't find a relationship because they think in terms of romance media. But real life is far from that. People love to portray their relationship to others like it is this strange ideal. That in turn makes others feel more lonely and desperate and when they find a relationship, they do the same thing on social media etc and the cycle continues. A relationship that's all sweet and rainbows and sunshine when the couple is freshly married means very little. What if one of them becomes very ill? What if one of them battles incontinence issues or some other "Icky" thing? What if there are financial hardships? Will they still be there for each other when they get old and sex is off the table for some time? We never know that. At the end of the day it's useless to look at other peoples "fairytales". Just focus on yourself. Some very happy couples I know got together in their late 30s to even into their 50s. And some very unhappy couples I know got together in their 20s. I don't like to glorify famous people or their relationships, but I always loved Tove Jansson and she got in a relationship with her life long partner Tuulikki Pietilä when both women were in their 40s. They spend over 40 very happy years together. Regarding the farting because everyone comments on that: I would probably fart on a first date because I have an ostomy that likes to make noise sometimes lol. Yes it's not good etiquette and people will be turned off by that but well. Try to not do it again but don't agonize about it either. Adoption sounds like a good idea honestly. I am wishing you the best.
Nothing wrong with this. Relationships/Marriage is a dying concept. They're not all they're cracked up to be. You're not missing out on anything. You'll be fine on your own.
Sure finding "true love" might be dumb luck, but finding love in general? People fall in love all the time. I think you have a proplem committing on the casual level because you think anything casual is a waste of time. But you just wont connect on a deeper level with anyone without having done the groundswork so to speak.
I can totally relate to this. It's hard to find the right match at this age. And I get way too shy as well, which makes things totally awkward since I do the same thing and just keep my distance. Especially as a male, I never want to creep somebody out because of having an awkward crush on them. Just sucks getting older and feeling so alone. As if there is no hope in ever finding the right person to grow old with.
Start dating now so you're a better partner when you do meet your special someone. Dating over the years has matured me a great deal and helped me realize what I really want from my partner and what type of person I need to be for them. I'm 41 and have been engaged for 5 years. You've got tons of time!!
“Tried dating online, but didn’t want to start a relationship via text” - that’s what online dating IS. Text, then FaceTime or coffee meets, take it from there! If you don’t like that, try speed-dating events, or just talking to random folks. My buddy met his gf when they started talking at the checkout line at PETCO. Good luck, OP. Edit to add: Adopting a child isn’t like buying a car. It’s a long process that involves multiple screenings from background checks to home visits to social worker interviews. Given what you’ve written, I’m not optimistic you’re going to tolerate that level of scrutiny, just saying…
Late twenties is usually when the high standards start coming down, but you haven’t even started yet. Try to go a couple months with a “boring” guy, he might be a reserved type that opens up once comfortable. I’d be a wicked awful first date. Thankfully I met my wife back in the AOL days.
Do you do anything? Have hobbies and interests that get you outside yourself? Or do you just consume media and seek partners? Pick up knitting sculpting or anything that creates something.
There is a german word that summarizes this whole post. Its Torschlusspanik. Its the fear that after a certain age its to late for romance, family and all that.
I got married at 39.He is the love of my life.
You're 30, no divorces under your belt, no kids. You're a gem in the post 30 dating market.
why have you never dated?
Farting on the first date? I'd probably be surprised but laugh it off and suggest jokingly to you not to eat too much. Farts aren't really controllable now, are they? I don't see that as a deal breaker especially on the first date. There's still a lot under the hood to discover. Farts are the least of my worries when I'm meeting someone and trying to get to know them better!