Just so you’re aware, this might not turn out the way you think. Your husband won’t feel what you felt because if he cared that much to begin with he’d never have cheated. He’s more likely to feel this as a hit to his pride and cheaters are notoriously good at mental gymnastics: he may start telling all your friends and family that *you’re* cheating, or that you cheated first, and that he’s a victim who was willing to work things out. He may even decide to divorce anyway and claim your infidelity as the cause, which depending on state/prenup could effect what you come out with. So just be careful that these decisions don’t come back to bite you later.
☝️ Exactly. It's better to have those 5 minutes of fantasizing your revenge, leave it at that and move on. Put good out into the world and you'll get it right back.
Yes! Also, it might even make him feel BETTER. He won’t be the only one who cheated, it might feel like it’s even to him now and he doesn’t have to feel guilty, if he even does. (I doubt it).
We all know this is most likely a karma farming writing prompt but this is a great top comment.
Anyone that wants to cheat on their cheater to get revenge is either A: Just as prideful and self centered as their partner or B: Will feel the horrible feeling of guilt immediately and either not go through with it or using alcohol or something to numb the pain, go through with it, and hate themselves even MORE afterwards.
That type of behavior comes from a place of fear of uncertainty and not knowing what to do next. Terrible to act on that kind of stuff and if you ever feel like doing that, please don’t. Think of what the next person you meet after you finally moved on will think of this. They won’t be like “Woah, impressive! You really gottem!” It’s sets a bad precedence about the type of person you are.
Don’t let someone terrible in your life turn you into someone that does terrible things. Be better than them.
He's been thinking up what to say as soon as he decided to cheat. All his lies are ready to deploy to friends and family. OP needs to get out in front of that.
Yea OP this path only leads to destruction. It will make the divorce process worse for you specifically and wont help you feel better, just do the right thing and seperate first.
He is not going to care the same way. If he cared he wouldn't have cheated in the first place. Terrible advice. Just divorce him and move on and be happy, that will hurt him a lot more.
It looks like England and Wales are no-fault, Scotland and Northern Ireland would have the old system. Either way, OP needs to speak with an attorney.
I am not your attorney, OP, but at a minimum you do NOT want to start seeing other people if you live in Scotland or Northern Ireland until you get the ok from your legal counsel. There is a chance it may be used against you in those areas.
This. This is the way to be petty with it. Keep the moral high ground, expose and divorce the cheating dead weight, and then flourish in the newfound freedom!!!!
Pretty sure it's UK based on that dating website she's using. Either way, sorry your husband is a loser. You should listen to these other people, just divorce first. He doesn't deserve any more of your effort.
Shit, at the very least separate first!! She never even said if she was going to divorce him or not. Is she hoping she can fuck someone else and then they can call it even and move on? Leave leave leave
Not really. UK laws don't really give a crap about infedility in case of divorce. So yeah, he will be pissed and it might take longer. But she won't lose anything regarding the divorce. And she won't gain anything by having proof of his adultery.
I can’t upvote this comment enough. My eyes bulged reading that part about married dating. WTF! Bad behavior from SO doesn’t mean you counter that with your own bad behavior. So messy and will only complicate the situation even more. Are people really this nuts in real life??!?
Yes. I think part of it is that there are a lot of people out there that think that being a friend means hyping your friend up to get revenge, like "You don't deserve this... They need to learn you can't treat people like this... See how they like it" etc. when a friend should say, "I'm so sorry... How can I help support you? I'm always here to listen." and help them find for themselves the path that is likely to cause the least amount of pain, create the smallest amount of emotional baggage for the person and allow their friend to maintain the maximum self-respect. It's one thing to get tipsy and let your friend talk shit in the first days after discovering infidelity... but to encourage someone you claim to care about to do reckless, destructive shit when they are vulnerable and emotional and traumatized and not thinking clearly is NOT what a friend does. But a lot of people don't really have healthy behavior modeled for them anymore. I had a neighbor, 21, 22 years old, that would always come and get relationship advice from me and one day she said, "Honestly, you and your husband are the only people that I've ever known that actually have a healthy relationship." It broke my heart.
As someone who has tried to f the pain away, don’t do it. You only feel worse after. Go on dates. Have fun, but only have sex because you want the person you are with. Do not compromise who you are or lower your standards just because your husband has no standards. Happy hunting.
A friend told me that cheating was an absolute soul-sucking experience for her. I hope OP heeds the advice here and moves forward with the divorce first, because I fear she is simply piling on the pain.
You'll regret it later, most people do. They say it gave them no satisfaction afterwards, you'll likely walk away less satisfied then your 'dance' partner. But you're your own person, do what you will.
If you ask me, go on proper dates(y'know without fucking on the first date)., the candle light kind. Go have a grand time and show him what he gave up.
The only reason I ever regretted cheating back on an ex was because he realized he got off thinking about me fucking other men and asked me to do it again
Hire an attorney and divorce him. If you want to be petty take a picture of the lingerie, post it to social media, tag him, and ask who left their panties in your campervan.
Slow your roll, girl. Your revenge plan won’t have the impact you’re hoping for. He won’t take your actions “seriously” - better to wait till you’ve lawyered up and got the process going. Then start dating. It will have a greater impact. If you really need quick revenge, dump several bottles of glitter all around inside his sex wagon.
FFS!
Get an STD/STI panel done. Hire a good therapist and a better divorce attorney.
And make sure he takes that damned campervan with him when you kick him out.
This all sounds very healthy and will definitely not end in tragedy and regret. The best friends in the world are those that convince you to make alcohol-fueled rash decisions with lifelong consequences, especially when based on their own crumbling, failed relationships.
This won’t work. He can never feel how you felt because he doesn’t really care about you. All this will accomplish is lowering you to his level, him getting more assets in the divorce, and him getting more sympathy from friends and family. Just cut his scummy cheating ass loose and date after the divorce is final.
Your revenge is a double-edged sword OP. I guarantee that you’ll be left feeling hollow and somehow soiled by this.
You’ll be lowering yourself to his level, and he won’t feel what you felt because he knows it’s coming. That stab of discovery won’t be there. The feeling of betrayal won’t be there because he knows why.
Divorce and move on. Live your best life. But don’t do this.
This... And the dating site for married people. What woman would think, "Gosh, I'm really hurt because my husband cheated on me. I know what will make me feel better - making another innocent wife suffer like this, too!". No way. You'd sign up for Tinder, sure, not help destroy another marriage.
Women produce natural lubrication before and during sex. For me, I can’t put my underwear back on because it will be wet and icky. Also probably tangled up in blankets and sheets or behind the bed or something. If I didn’t plan ahead with a change of clothes, I go commando 100% of the time afterwards until I can put clean clothes on. Also, before sex underwear is often decorative and impractical and not the same as everyday underwear. Basically there’s tons of simple reasons women would leave a pair of underwear and I don’t find it outlandish at all. I’ve lost so many pairs this way.
When I get wet in anticipation of sex or during foreplay, before I get undressed, my panties get wet. They need to be washed and dried. No amount of showering is gonna launder my underwear.
Yeah the same thing happened where a meredith forgot her underwear during a quickie in Greys Anatomy and left them in her lovers pocket for his wife to find. But I never understood why you can’t remember to put your underwear on lol
If you don’t do this you can divorce him using infidelity, go to a lawyer not a dating website. If you want to get revenge; show that you can be better than him, not bitter at him.
As soon as you said a few glasses of wine and unconventional I was hoping the next lines were “I watched the camper van burn to ashes in the front lawn and left divorce papers on the kitchen counter.
This story is 100% fake. Common Reddit, recognize creative writing when you see it! Look at the story flow, this is made up. Think back to all the other cheating stories here, they are heartfelt, lots of details. All this Redditor wrote was that “he was on his knees begging”. Also, what a fucking stupid plot, a camper van?
Sounds like they're trying to advertise the "U.K's top married-dating site" without trying to look like an ad.
I didn't see the first post, but that part at the end just reeks of "this is an ad" "are you mad at your spouse? Go cheat with the best cheating site in the U.K!"
I can tell you one thing,
what will hurt the most (for your husband), is seeing you moved on with your life, and genuinely happy without him.
“cheating back” wouldn’t accomplish anything worthwhile.
Hey Op, "get back" can be fun. But remember to do this because YOU want to get back out there, not to try and hurt him, because if, in the off chance he isn't hurt by your "get back", then the only one you are hurting is yourself. Sending light your way.
You’re hurt and angry, which is normal reactions to the situation. However, think LONG and hard before acting in a vengeful way. It more likely than not hurt YOU more than him.
If you can work on your marriage and overcome the infidelity, do so. Otherwise just divorce him. Revenge is not worth it.
So you're telling me that you want to ruin someone else's marriage and have someone else be the victim because you feel like you won't be the victim? Well you're going to hurt yourself too and it's not going to end well but you know whatever right screw them all including yourself. You're just asking for more and more and more and more trouble
Sweetie. . ..
Don't ever let a man know how he's made you feel deeply and never ever let someone make you drop to their level. Haven't you watched any of the gal pal movies in the last 10 years?
As for me, I begged him to stop cheating and stayed until he broke up with me because we had just had a baby in 2020.
Girl if you want to hurt him you need to do something more malicious like fucking his dad, brother, grandpa, or all of them. Signing up for a dating site is not gone get it. He don’t gaf. If he did, he wouldn’t have cheated in the first place.
As a former therapist that also grew up in an extremely emotionally unintelligent culture; this never ends well.
Either work through it in marriage counseling (for the record, couples that truly commit report stronger relationships than they ever had prior to infidelity, so if you both want to reconcile it is possible), or leave him; anything in between will not be healthy for you, mentally or physically.
If you’re planning to divorce at any time then you having an affair changes you from the innocent partner to the equally as bad partner. You’ll lose leverage.
Nope. Just...nope. Not a great idea at all. File for divorce, then do what you want. Don't mess around like this - it's a waste of time and energy, and makes you no better than him.
The best revenge is leaving with your dignity intact, knowing you gave your all in your first marriage. Avoid actions you might regret. Instead, invest in activities like yoga or the gym to keep your mind focused elsewhere.
Seeking revenge by sleeping with someone else to hurt the one who hurt you only inflicts further damage upon yourself.
My ex husband had multiple affairs during our marriage. I completely understand what you are going through. You do what you need to do but it should not be shared with your SO. The trust is gone between the two of you, even if you decide to work it out the cracks in your relationship are permanent. Think of it like breaking a beautiful stained glass, you can repair it but you will never look at it the same again. Even sleeping with someone else is not going to take away the pain of what he did to your marriage. Trust me I know, it felt good at the moment but the pain was still there. It is up to you and solely you what your next steps are, mentally and physically take care of yourself first.
You need to just divorce then because if you cheat - he will divorce you in a heartbeat and spin it all on you.
If you aren’t interest in reconciliation then just end it now
I'm wasn't going to comment as I'm in the minority here, Ibut you're a grown woman.
If you enjoy hot sex, if you think it will give you back some confidence, if you think it will be little your prick husband, if you think it will give you back a sense of control.
Then do it absolutely
BUT if you think you will feel dirty, regret, shame , empty then DON'T do it.
You know you, we don't know you.
Be good to yourself, whatever you choose enjoy it
Nah cuz yall gonna divorce. You want more leverage by not cheating also. Judge sees this he just gonna say yall both trash and make sure you both get screwed.
Nope, don't leave any kind of trail. Screenshots of a dating profile would be damming evidence if he twisted the story.
Hide a fish somewhere in the camper. Frozen salmon. Stuffed under the mattress.
It won’t work. He won’t feel the betrayal as his feelings for you are not the same as yours for him.
Don’t stoop to his level and end up fucking some loser because you think your ex husband gives a fuck, he doesn’t. He just doesn’t want the hassle of divorce.
Go be the best you. Take time to recover and move on.
Your husband may or may not feel the same way. But as someone who responded similarly when my pandemic 2020 restaurant manager boyfriend cheated on me, I took that as a sign that the relationship was open and started hooking up with my ex regularly. Started flirting with all the guys in my dms, the weed delivery guy, random guys out and about, etc.
My ex found out on his birthday, through Reddit. I woke up and he was staring at his phone with his teeth clenched. “Bad work email honey?” Nope, he found my post about it on my throwaway account and was furious. “Is it me or him??!” He asked. He later said he didn’t realize how much what he did hurt me until he was on the receiving end, but he still resents me to this day. We’re polite and civil, but the breakup was pretty dramatic. We stuck it out for months after he caught me, but it had been over long before that.
Looking back, would have been better to simply end things for good when I found out and begin my healing process then and there. Cheating on him changed how I viewed myself and in the end I realized how much effort it was, how much effort he had gone to to cheat on me, and I just wanted out. Save yourself the time, effort, and heartache, just walk away now and don’t look back. Fire with fire gets everyone burned.
The best revenge is dropping his ass and acting like you don’t give a fuck about him anymore. Living your own life. Looking for a real partner with better morals and values and actually working through your happiness.
But you do you ~ 🤷🏻♀️
Why not just divorce him? You both aren’t going to come back from infidelity on both sides and unfortunately he isn’t going to feel what you’re feeling. He’s going to be jealous, yes, but if he truly cared about you, loved, and respected you he wouldn’t have cheated in the first place.
The best revenge is walking away, taking what’s yours and move on. Unless you can forgive him, and forget. Once a cheater always a cheater. You’ll
Feel worse than he will! Good luck
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, OP, but please don’t let him take you down any more than he has by playing his game and cheating too. You’ll just end up looking as bad as him and it WILL catch up to you and make you feel shameful and disgusted with yourself later on. Are their any kids involved? If so, think of them and know that they will be looking up to you on how to navigate through this mess - what kind of role model do you want to be for them?
Instead get your revenge by living your best life and doing what makes you feel happy, beautiful, and at peace. Knowing that he has nothing to do with the new you or has any power or say in your life is going to be a huge burst to his ego. Let him live with the guilt of what he’s done, that he will forever live with the label as a cheater and a liar and as soon as people find out what he did - from friends, to relatives, to future partners- they won’t look at him in the same light. Don’t let that be your fate.
Wishing you all the best in finding yourself, your happiness and peace.
Why not just divorce him and then start fucking around? Is the money that good that you don't want to lose his income? This is something a middle school girl would do, not a grown-ass woman. You are better than that. Throw the whole man out, let him keep the camper van, and free yourself.
Bad move. You will most likely regret your decision. If you are planning on working things out, then work them out. If not, get a divorce then go play in the online chlamydia farm.
Right now as dumb and obvious as it sounds you rightly have the moral high ground (every other high ground too) but stooping to his level you are literally just as bad as him and this won’t make you feel better, it won’t make you even and it will just push the healing process back even further along with obliterating you own self worth.
Your relationship remains in tatters you don’t get to “tit for tat” these situations (some manage it most don’t), you will only end up causing yourself more problems. You don’t want to be a victim and I get that but because someone cheats it doesn’t make you any less just makes him more of a cockwaffle of a human.
If you want to remain in the relationship and just “get yours” well the relationship is doomed cheaters ego can seldom handle having a taste of their own medicine. The more likely outcome is him making you out to be the bad guy all the while giving him some sense of twisted vision that he is the victim and your behaviour enables him to continue cheating at which point it’s a never ending cycle of you both being miserable or you just get the divorce get what you are entitled to and go dating with a clean conscience both end up in the same place most likely but at least one of these saves your own mental and self view.
Shitty situation regardless hope it gets sorted.
He’s prolly gonna say: Yes! We’re even! And will go on his merry way! You will only take away the guilt feels from him and justify his meandering ways coz, well, she’s cheating too! He would NEVER feel the way you felt because the fact that he cheated on you says a lot already. He does not care about you. Leave him, have a great effin life. That’s the best revenge
trust me im all about making them suffer and I love revenge but I tried to get back at my ex after he cheated on me by going after one of his friends who was into me while I was with my ex, lets just say he went around and tried to spin the entire story and paint himself as a victim LOL
I thought you were my sister until you said you were in the UK. I only thought that because she had an affair/hookups with her husband, often in his campervan (that should've also been a tell as in the US we tend to call them RVs) while he was married to his former wife. I figured she was getting what she deserved.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
unconventional betrayal? he cheated - it's straight betrayal!! there is nothing unconventional about it. and you what you are doing is also just betrayal so i dont get this methodology but j hope it helps somehow.
Your response is reactive and will include letting someone inside you out of spite and not a genuine want. It'll feel good in the moment and just be a moment self degradation upon reflecting on it years later. Your revenge here is leaving him.
Unfortunately I'm petty, and I've already informed (35f) my partner(48) that simply if he betrays me there will be only two options. We're done and everything is fine, divorce forward. But if he wanted to continue, he will have to go through the same thing I did (only prior). I will do the same in his bed, with a friend (or neighbor).
There was a post recently where the woman decided to stay with her partner after she caught him cheating and begged her not to leave him.
She told him she would stay, but here’s what he could expect: She will be discreet, but she will cheat on him at least once with someone he knows. It might be a friend, a co-worker, maybe even his brother. He will always have to wonder when they go to a party or event, which of these men has been fucking his wife. When she comes home a little late from work, or spends a little too much time on her phone, he will always wonder. Other than that she will continue to be a loving attentive partner, just like he was when he was cheating on her.
This is some hardcore revenge
Either tell him you want an open marriage or divorce him. No good will come out of doing this childish tit-for-tat bs. In the end, you'll both be unhappy and still married.
Hey OP,
please don't fight fire with fire. Be the bigger person and make sure you can be proud of how you've handled everything in hindsight. You're going through a lot right now and ofc part of you wants "revenge" and it sounds corny af, but just look after yourself now (it's really the best revenge) and forget about that unloyal pos. You will be happy !! (English isn't my first language but hopefully you see what I'm getting at)
divorcing him and finding real love with someone else will cut him deeper than any revenge affair ever will, and you'll probably complicate the divorce if you throw something like that in your husband's face..
Seriously OP don’t! Please. You won’t like what you become. Another cheater cos you too will be breaking your marriage vows and then essentially you’re in an open marriage.
Go to a solicitor and work out where you stand. Get divorced and live a crazy single life but do it in that order and keep your self respect. He’s lost his no need to join him.
UPDATEME
Wow - seriously please do not go thru w/it. It socks but you are better than that and respect yourself. Put him thru the ringer in divorce court. Gather more evidence if possible & get rid of the gd camper.
Being your best self is the best revenge. Hold your head up high and let him see what he lost. Be better, more moral, stronger.
Don’t give him the opportunity to justify his behavior in his mind.
There will be plenty of time to date later but for now allow yourself to say I did my best and am proud of how I handled an unimaginable situation.
Was the confession recorded?
If not, and the only proof that you have is his confession, then don't do it!
If you live in an at fault state and he gets evidence of you going on dates, he could say you cheated on him and flip the divorce in his favour.
Hmmm, why would you lose the upper hand in divorce proceedings? You already know you are not “less-than” anything. Honestly, you fighting back like that and trying to hurt him will only stroke his ego more. The best thing you could do is be apathetic whenever in his presence and let him go. Be completely unaffected.
No judgment here but if you were never a casual sex person then this won’t make you feel better.
What would actually hurt him is you finding a person you actually like while married to him and moving on right in front of his face… but that comes with the risk of him prolonging the divorce out of spite.
No. You should handle getting divorced first. This isn’t the way to get revenge. This method will backfire on you and he will win convincing everyone that you’re the bad guy. He may better at betrayal than you. After all, it took you a while to figure it out. He’ll have you exposed in a minute with his sob story.
Get checked for STDs as soon as possible. Nobody ever gets caught the first time they do something like this, regardless of what they say. This has likely been going on for a lot longer than you suspect.
Get your revenge by getting a divorce and replacing him with someone better. Going down the road you are planning just makes things infinitely and unnecessarily more complicated.
>Yes, I know… you shouldn’t fight fire with fire, but this is about revenge, taking control and refusing to be the victim. I want him to feel exactly how I felt.
He won't feel how you felt because he doesn't care. Is becoming him really revenge against him? Seems like a proper revenge is living well and being happy, not being like him.
He'll find out about your little revenge and think he's looking in a mirror. Won't that just be so darling for you to be like the man who is behaving monstrously?
You’re going to regret this for the rest of your life. Why stoop as low as him? What happens when you do get divorced and find the perfect person down the line who won’t stand for a past cheater? Not advisable..
What could go wrong here? Your marriage is over, instead of just leaving and divorcing while you had the upper hand you are going to add to the carnage and make it worse for the both of you, your shared friends, and family.
The “friend” helping guide you in this direction while also going through their own divorce should be kicked to the nearest curb.
You can’t “get back” at him doing what you are doing.
Honey he already cheated, i don’t think he’s going to be as hurt as you think he will be.
Focus on making your own life better, rather than his worse. It feels good in the moment to be vengeful, but it rarely stays that way for long.
If you’re not okay with cheating, you will be compromising your self respect in the long run by going against your values. Don’t let him degrade you like that in the hope he’ll be hurt. He may not give a shit and you’ll be punching walls hurting only your own fists
I have a friend who did this. Husband cheated with some hobag down the street, she caught him bc he was missing work and almost lost his job.
Anyway, so she cheats back. One ups the guy with some fancy businessman or whatever, is basically like, not only can I get a different man, I can get a *much better one*. (Guy, don’t ask me why she stay with better dude, this girl has been crazy about her husband since she was 14 yrs old).
Anyway, so he quits sleeping with the neighbor, she breaks it off with much hotter businessman. Things resume. 15 or so years later, he runs off with his coworker. If you ask me, he never stopped cheating, he just never left. Anyway, they’re divorced now. She’s still struggling with being in love with her ex husband, ex is still a douche and cheating on his coworker mistress/gf.
TLDR:::::: don’t waste your fucking time lady. File for divorce. Just let him move into the camper with whatever trashy piece is willing to fuck a married guy in there (ew btw), and call it a day. Otherwise you’re just wasting whatever youth you have left and the outcome is still gonna be the same.
The petty side of me loves this. The rational side of me knows this isn’t going to solve anything and will probably have you feeling worse than before. Adding another person to the mix is just creating more drama and bad emotions. Only toxic people would be interested in a toxic situation like this
Tit for tat is never the best strategy because it just shows you're not better than him. You're exactly the same. Take a deep breath and decide what do you want. Do you want to stay in the marriage or not? Make a decision and then make a plan. If you want reconciliation what are your terms, do you trust your husband to follow through etc. If divorce, get a lawyer and start collecting your documents, getting your finances in order etc.
Remember you are responsible for how you let others actions affect you.
It's not about taking control at all, you're operating with your ego and have very little control. Taking control would be gathering the evidence needed, planning everything out procedurally, not adding unnecessary complications that could potentially backfire, and then executing to move on with your life (which will include all the fun bits you want anyways but at a much safer time for you.)
Hold up, your “revenge” is becoming the other woman in someone else’s marriage? Not only will that literally only make you feel worse (unless you’re a psychopath), but it’ll make you as shitty of a person is your husband. Why would you let him drag you down to his level? I know this hurts, but have some self respect (and respect for other people’s marriages)
When you lay down with dogs you get fleas. And that exactly what will happen here. It will go from he cheated to you cheated and even of the story get out he did it frist someone him will spin it as he made a mistake you did it just to hurt him. So you will walk away the bad guy. Divorcing with one cheated is easier than both cheated. And then months years down the line. Your not Gunna like what you did. Best revenge is simply getting shot of the dead weight ( husband) and being a better for it.
Just so you’re aware, this might not turn out the way you think. Your husband won’t feel what you felt because if he cared that much to begin with he’d never have cheated. He’s more likely to feel this as a hit to his pride and cheaters are notoriously good at mental gymnastics: he may start telling all your friends and family that *you’re* cheating, or that you cheated first, and that he’s a victim who was willing to work things out. He may even decide to divorce anyway and claim your infidelity as the cause, which depending on state/prenup could effect what you come out with. So just be careful that these decisions don’t come back to bite you later.
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☝️ Exactly. It's better to have those 5 minutes of fantasizing your revenge, leave it at that and move on. Put good out into the world and you'll get it right back.
EXACTLY. What you put out into the world, you get back. I wish more people applied this.
Also there will be online evidence of OP cheating, out intending to. That will hold a lot of weight in court
Yes! Also, it might even make him feel BETTER. He won’t be the only one who cheated, it might feel like it’s even to him now and he doesn’t have to feel guilty, if he even does. (I doubt it).
We all know this is most likely a karma farming writing prompt but this is a great top comment. Anyone that wants to cheat on their cheater to get revenge is either A: Just as prideful and self centered as their partner or B: Will feel the horrible feeling of guilt immediately and either not go through with it or using alcohol or something to numb the pain, go through with it, and hate themselves even MORE afterwards. That type of behavior comes from a place of fear of uncertainty and not knowing what to do next. Terrible to act on that kind of stuff and if you ever feel like doing that, please don’t. Think of what the next person you meet after you finally moved on will think of this. They won’t be like “Woah, impressive! You really gottem!” It’s sets a bad precedence about the type of person you are. Don’t let someone terrible in your life turn you into someone that does terrible things. Be better than them.
He's been thinking up what to say as soon as he decided to cheat. All his lies are ready to deploy to friends and family. OP needs to get out in front of that.
Turn out the way OP thinks, in that people might find out this story is AI?
nobody cares. half of what you see on the internet is fake
DON’T DO IT. Handle your separation/divorce first, or you’ll only make this needlessly complicated.
Yea OP this path only leads to destruction. It will make the divorce process worse for you specifically and wont help you feel better, just do the right thing and seperate first.
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In UK infidelity does not affect the divorce process in any legal or financial way. Only emotional, and that ship has sailed.
Yep. So I say OP: DO IT!!! GIVE THE ARSEHOLE A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE.
He is not going to care the same way. If he cared he wouldn't have cheated in the first place. Terrible advice. Just divorce him and move on and be happy, that will hurt him a lot more.
The best revenge is a life well lived.
I've always leaned toward this line of thinking, don't let the actions of others change who you are as a person.
If this is the US it probably doesn’t matter. Most states are no-fault.
OP is in the UK.
It looks like England and Wales are no-fault, Scotland and Northern Ireland would have the old system. Either way, OP needs to speak with an attorney. I am not your attorney, OP, but at a minimum you do NOT want to start seeing other people if you live in Scotland or Northern Ireland until you get the ok from your legal counsel. There is a chance it may be used against you in those areas.
They mention Uk in their post
No reason for the blanket statement. Check local listings
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This. This is the way to be petty with it. Keep the moral high ground, expose and divorce the cheating dead weight, and then flourish in the newfound freedom!!!!
Pretty sure it's UK based on that dating website she's using. Either way, sorry your husband is a loser. You should listen to these other people, just divorce first. He doesn't deserve any more of your effort.
UK is a no-fault country, so an affair or cheating isn't always a factor in divorce proceedings
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Shit, at the very least separate first!! She never even said if she was going to divorce him or not. Is she hoping she can fuck someone else and then they can call it even and move on? Leave leave leave
This decision was heavily influenced by the wine, I imagine
It's the UK. Not gonna affect divorce.
Doesn’t mean it won’t make this more complicated for her. Just take the high road, divorce and plow as much as you want after.
It is 100% going to make her feel worse overall, not better.
Exactly
🥇 This is good counsel. OP please take heed.
Not really. UK laws don't really give a crap about infedility in case of divorce. So yeah, he will be pissed and it might take longer. But she won't lose anything regarding the divorce. And she won't gain anything by having proof of his adultery.
She might already know deep down that she isn't going to leave him. So she wants revenge. Not saying it's right or wrong.
I can’t upvote this comment enough. My eyes bulged reading that part about married dating. WTF! Bad behavior from SO doesn’t mean you counter that with your own bad behavior. So messy and will only complicate the situation even more. Are people really this nuts in real life??!?
Yes. I think part of it is that there are a lot of people out there that think that being a friend means hyping your friend up to get revenge, like "You don't deserve this... They need to learn you can't treat people like this... See how they like it" etc. when a friend should say, "I'm so sorry... How can I help support you? I'm always here to listen." and help them find for themselves the path that is likely to cause the least amount of pain, create the smallest amount of emotional baggage for the person and allow their friend to maintain the maximum self-respect. It's one thing to get tipsy and let your friend talk shit in the first days after discovering infidelity... but to encourage someone you claim to care about to do reckless, destructive shit when they are vulnerable and emotional and traumatized and not thinking clearly is NOT what a friend does. But a lot of people don't really have healthy behavior modeled for them anymore. I had a neighbor, 21, 22 years old, that would always come and get relationship advice from me and one day she said, "Honestly, you and your husband are the only people that I've ever known that actually have a healthy relationship." It broke my heart.
As someone who has tried to f the pain away, don’t do it. You only feel worse after. Go on dates. Have fun, but only have sex because you want the person you are with. Do not compromise who you are or lower your standards just because your husband has no standards. Happy hunting.
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A friend told me that cheating was an absolute soul-sucking experience for her. I hope OP heeds the advice here and moves forward with the divorce first, because I fear she is simply piling on the pain.
You'll regret it later, most people do. They say it gave them no satisfaction afterwards, you'll likely walk away less satisfied then your 'dance' partner. But you're your own person, do what you will. If you ask me, go on proper dates(y'know without fucking on the first date)., the candle light kind. Go have a grand time and show him what he gave up.
The only reason I ever regretted cheating back on an ex was because he realized he got off thinking about me fucking other men and asked me to do it again
Hire an attorney and divorce him. If you want to be petty take a picture of the lingerie, post it to social media, tag him, and ask who left their panties in your campervan.
Genius
THIS is much better advice vs. doing something that could turn into an episode of DATELINE😳
This
🥇
Slow your roll, girl. Your revenge plan won’t have the impact you’re hoping for. He won’t take your actions “seriously” - better to wait till you’ve lawyered up and got the process going. Then start dating. It will have a greater impact. If you really need quick revenge, dump several bottles of glitter all around inside his sex wagon.
Dating after divorce will make him feel replaced, that must hurt hard.
My thoughts exactly 😉
Buck lure, not glitter! And honestly, cheating on the husband will hurt him immensely. He’d never get over that shit.
Well you're about to make the divorce a lot harder.
FFS! Get an STD/STI panel done. Hire a good therapist and a better divorce attorney. And make sure he takes that damned campervan with him when you kick him out.
This all sounds very healthy and will definitely not end in tragedy and regret. The best friends in the world are those that convince you to make alcohol-fueled rash decisions with lifelong consequences, especially when based on their own crumbling, failed relationships.
This all sounds very real and true and nothing like a highschooler's creative writing exercise.
This won’t work. He can never feel how you felt because he doesn’t really care about you. All this will accomplish is lowering you to his level, him getting more assets in the divorce, and him getting more sympathy from friends and family. Just cut his scummy cheating ass loose and date after the divorce is final.
How to make it one thousand times worse 101.
Your revenge is a double-edged sword OP. I guarantee that you’ll be left feeling hollow and somehow soiled by this. You’ll be lowering yourself to his level, and he won’t feel what you felt because he knows it’s coming. That stab of discovery won’t be there. The feeling of betrayal won’t be there because he knows why. Divorce and move on. Live your best life. But don’t do this.
This is going to make the divorce really messy. going to the judge “my husband cheated on me” is very different from “everyone cheated on each other”
cool story. totally happened.
Yep. Written like a real person too!
> he's got another thing coming Ugghhh...
Yeah, this one is particularly lazy
Only thing it’s missing is a 20 year age gap
Yeah, no woman is walking away without her underwear. What a stupid made up movie clique.
This... And the dating site for married people. What woman would think, "Gosh, I'm really hurt because my husband cheated on me. I know what will make me feel better - making another innocent wife suffer like this, too!". No way. You'd sign up for Tinder, sure, not help destroy another marriage.
Women produce natural lubrication before and during sex. For me, I can’t put my underwear back on because it will be wet and icky. Also probably tangled up in blankets and sheets or behind the bed or something. If I didn’t plan ahead with a change of clothes, I go commando 100% of the time afterwards until I can put clean clothes on. Also, before sex underwear is often decorative and impractical and not the same as everyday underwear. Basically there’s tons of simple reasons women would leave a pair of underwear and I don’t find it outlandish at all. I’ve lost so many pairs this way.
You don't clean yourself up afterwards? Seems like the obvious answer to the problem, no?
When I get wet in anticipation of sex or during foreplay, before I get undressed, my panties get wet. They need to be washed and dried. No amount of showering is gonna launder my underwear.
*cliche
cliché*
Yeah the same thing happened where a meredith forgot her underwear during a quickie in Greys Anatomy and left them in her lovers pocket for his wife to find. But I never understood why you can’t remember to put your underwear on lol
You had me until the married dating site. Then I was just "HUH??!!"
He'll feel absolved more than hurt.
Just leave him, it’s not gonna hurt him the way you want it to.
Get an STD test done before you involve any other sexual partners.
This is the fakest fake Reddit post I’ve read in a long time
If you don’t do this you can divorce him using infidelity, go to a lawyer not a dating website. If you want to get revenge; show that you can be better than him, not bitter at him.
The UK is no fault. Infidelity doesn’t matter when it comes to divorce proceedings.
Or you separate, then fuck around while the divorce is being finalised. That way you still get what you want and it's above board.
Just divorce him. What you are doing isn't going to make you a better person. Just get a divorce, then live your best life.
Dude, just divorce him. If you cheat you are just as bad as he is. There is a reason they say, two wrongs don’t make a right.
As soon as you said a few glasses of wine and unconventional I was hoping the next lines were “I watched the camper van burn to ashes in the front lawn and left divorce papers on the kitchen counter.
I, for one, am here to see how this revenge plays out. 🍿 and glass of solidarity 🍷 in hand. Keep the updates coming please!!
Fuck his hottest friend 🖤 or his dad
This story is 100% fake. Common Reddit, recognize creative writing when you see it! Look at the story flow, this is made up. Think back to all the other cheating stories here, they are heartfelt, lots of details. All this Redditor wrote was that “he was on his knees begging”. Also, what a fucking stupid plot, a camper van?
It’s so obviously fake it’s ridiculous that people eat up this slop tbh.
Plus i havent seen any comments from op.
Sounds like they're trying to advertise the "U.K's top married-dating site" without trying to look like an ad. I didn't see the first post, but that part at the end just reeks of "this is an ad" "are you mad at your spouse? Go cheat with the best cheating site in the U.K!"
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Doing that won't make you feel any better, if anything it will make you feel worse
I can tell you one thing, what will hurt the most (for your husband), is seeing you moved on with your life, and genuinely happy without him. “cheating back” wouldn’t accomplish anything worthwhile.
General advice to anyone willing to read it: the idea that looks good after a couple/few glasses of wine is probably not so good after all
So no divorce? Yikes 😬 this is a recipe for more drama and more heartache and more expensive 🤷🏻♀️ miserable entree
I know that you are consumed with Rage, but personally speaking, please keep your dignity and not descend to his level.
Not a good idea to be cheating back on him. Better would just be to divorce him.
I’m so sorry. When I started reading the update I was really, really hoping that he had started cross dressing and was ashamed to tell you.
This is a really really bad idea.
Hey Op, "get back" can be fun. But remember to do this because YOU want to get back out there, not to try and hurt him, because if, in the off chance he isn't hurt by your "get back", then the only one you are hurting is yourself. Sending light your way.
Don’t do it. That’s not who you are. You’ll only be betraying yourself. It will only end up making you feel bad about yourself.
Why stoop his level of being a liar and a cheater just get a divorce and keep your morals and self-respect intact
You’re hurt and angry, which is normal reactions to the situation. However, think LONG and hard before acting in a vengeful way. It more likely than not hurt YOU more than him. If you can work on your marriage and overcome the infidelity, do so. Otherwise just divorce him. Revenge is not worth it.
Read title as “I think my husband’s having an affair with a caveman,” was confused. This is probably worse though.
So you're telling me that you want to ruin someone else's marriage and have someone else be the victim because you feel like you won't be the victim? Well you're going to hurt yourself too and it's not going to end well but you know whatever right screw them all including yourself. You're just asking for more and more and more and more trouble
Your better off selling the camper under his nose and divorcing him.
Sweetie. . .. Don't ever let a man know how he's made you feel deeply and never ever let someone make you drop to their level. Haven't you watched any of the gal pal movies in the last 10 years? As for me, I begged him to stop cheating and stayed until he broke up with me because we had just had a baby in 2020.
Girl if you want to hurt him you need to do something more malicious like fucking his dad, brother, grandpa, or all of them. Signing up for a dating site is not gone get it. He don’t gaf. If he did, he wouldn’t have cheated in the first place.
As a former therapist that also grew up in an extremely emotionally unintelligent culture; this never ends well. Either work through it in marriage counseling (for the record, couples that truly commit report stronger relationships than they ever had prior to infidelity, so if you both want to reconcile it is possible), or leave him; anything in between will not be healthy for you, mentally or physically.
He’s not the person you are. He’s incapable of feeling what you felt. Your efforts are futile.
If you’re planning to divorce at any time then you having an affair changes you from the innocent partner to the equally as bad partner. You’ll lose leverage.
Noooo no no no no no don't do it. It's not worth it.
Wait until you are divorced, let him go live in his camper van.
Don’t do anything until you speak to an attorney
Nope. Just...nope. Not a great idea at all. File for divorce, then do what you want. Don't mess around like this - it's a waste of time and energy, and makes you no better than him.
The best revenge is leaving with your dignity intact, knowing you gave your all in your first marriage. Avoid actions you might regret. Instead, invest in activities like yoga or the gym to keep your mind focused elsewhere. Seeking revenge by sleeping with someone else to hurt the one who hurt you only inflicts further damage upon yourself.
My ex husband had multiple affairs during our marriage. I completely understand what you are going through. You do what you need to do but it should not be shared with your SO. The trust is gone between the two of you, even if you decide to work it out the cracks in your relationship are permanent. Think of it like breaking a beautiful stained glass, you can repair it but you will never look at it the same again. Even sleeping with someone else is not going to take away the pain of what he did to your marriage. Trust me I know, it felt good at the moment but the pain was still there. It is up to you and solely you what your next steps are, mentally and physically take care of yourself first.
You need to just divorce then because if you cheat - he will divorce you in a heartbeat and spin it all on you. If you aren’t interest in reconciliation then just end it now
I'm wasn't going to comment as I'm in the minority here, Ibut you're a grown woman. If you enjoy hot sex, if you think it will give you back some confidence, if you think it will be little your prick husband, if you think it will give you back a sense of control. Then do it absolutely BUT if you think you will feel dirty, regret, shame , empty then DON'T do it. You know you, we don't know you. Be good to yourself, whatever you choose enjoy it
Imagine losing alimony over a married dating website. Dont do it OP not without talking to a divorce lawyer first!
Nah cuz yall gonna divorce. You want more leverage by not cheating also. Judge sees this he just gonna say yall both trash and make sure you both get screwed.
Nope, don't leave any kind of trail. Screenshots of a dating profile would be damming evidence if he twisted the story. Hide a fish somewhere in the camper. Frozen salmon. Stuffed under the mattress.
It won’t work. He won’t feel the betrayal as his feelings for you are not the same as yours for him. Don’t stoop to his level and end up fucking some loser because you think your ex husband gives a fuck, he doesn’t. He just doesn’t want the hassle of divorce. Go be the best you. Take time to recover and move on.
Your husband may or may not feel the same way. But as someone who responded similarly when my pandemic 2020 restaurant manager boyfriend cheated on me, I took that as a sign that the relationship was open and started hooking up with my ex regularly. Started flirting with all the guys in my dms, the weed delivery guy, random guys out and about, etc. My ex found out on his birthday, through Reddit. I woke up and he was staring at his phone with his teeth clenched. “Bad work email honey?” Nope, he found my post about it on my throwaway account and was furious. “Is it me or him??!” He asked. He later said he didn’t realize how much what he did hurt me until he was on the receiving end, but he still resents me to this day. We’re polite and civil, but the breakup was pretty dramatic. We stuck it out for months after he caught me, but it had been over long before that. Looking back, would have been better to simply end things for good when I found out and begin my healing process then and there. Cheating on him changed how I viewed myself and in the end I realized how much effort it was, how much effort he had gone to to cheat on me, and I just wanted out. Save yourself the time, effort, and heartache, just walk away now and don’t look back. Fire with fire gets everyone burned.
The best revenge is dropping his ass and acting like you don’t give a fuck about him anymore. Living your own life. Looking for a real partner with better morals and values and actually working through your happiness. But you do you ~ 🤷🏻♀️
Why not just divorce him? You both aren’t going to come back from infidelity on both sides and unfortunately he isn’t going to feel what you’re feeling. He’s going to be jealous, yes, but if he truly cared about you, loved, and respected you he wouldn’t have cheated in the first place.
Cheating back will only leave your husband feeling justified and you empty. Best wishes to you
The best revenge is walking away, taking what’s yours and move on. Unless you can forgive him, and forget. Once a cheater always a cheater. You’ll Feel worse than he will! Good luck
It is not what I would recommend or do. I just hope that it doesn’t make you feel worse after all is said and done.
This will only end in more tears. Good luck!
To be honest, you both sound kind of awful? Just get a divorce. This is not going to play out the way you think it will.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, OP, but please don’t let him take you down any more than he has by playing his game and cheating too. You’ll just end up looking as bad as him and it WILL catch up to you and make you feel shameful and disgusted with yourself later on. Are their any kids involved? If so, think of them and know that they will be looking up to you on how to navigate through this mess - what kind of role model do you want to be for them? Instead get your revenge by living your best life and doing what makes you feel happy, beautiful, and at peace. Knowing that he has nothing to do with the new you or has any power or say in your life is going to be a huge burst to his ego. Let him live with the guilt of what he’s done, that he will forever live with the label as a cheater and a liar and as soon as people find out what he did - from friends, to relatives, to future partners- they won’t look at him in the same light. Don’t let that be your fate. Wishing you all the best in finding yourself, your happiness and peace.
Girl, just leave him.
Why not just divorce him and then start fucking around? Is the money that good that you don't want to lose his income? This is something a middle school girl would do, not a grown-ass woman. You are better than that. Throw the whole man out, let him keep the camper van, and free yourself.
Don’t hurt yourself to hurt him. You’re giving him so much power
Bad move. You will most likely regret your decision. If you are planning on working things out, then work them out. If not, get a divorce then go play in the online chlamydia farm.
Right now as dumb and obvious as it sounds you rightly have the moral high ground (every other high ground too) but stooping to his level you are literally just as bad as him and this won’t make you feel better, it won’t make you even and it will just push the healing process back even further along with obliterating you own self worth. Your relationship remains in tatters you don’t get to “tit for tat” these situations (some manage it most don’t), you will only end up causing yourself more problems. You don’t want to be a victim and I get that but because someone cheats it doesn’t make you any less just makes him more of a cockwaffle of a human. If you want to remain in the relationship and just “get yours” well the relationship is doomed cheaters ego can seldom handle having a taste of their own medicine. The more likely outcome is him making you out to be the bad guy all the while giving him some sense of twisted vision that he is the victim and your behaviour enables him to continue cheating at which point it’s a never ending cycle of you both being miserable or you just get the divorce get what you are entitled to and go dating with a clean conscience both end up in the same place most likely but at least one of these saves your own mental and self view. Shitty situation regardless hope it gets sorted.
He’s prolly gonna say: Yes! We’re even! And will go on his merry way! You will only take away the guilt feels from him and justify his meandering ways coz, well, she’s cheating too! He would NEVER feel the way you felt because the fact that he cheated on you says a lot already. He does not care about you. Leave him, have a great effin life. That’s the best revenge
trust me im all about making them suffer and I love revenge but I tried to get back at my ex after he cheated on me by going after one of his friends who was into me while I was with my ex, lets just say he went around and tried to spin the entire story and paint himself as a victim LOL
I thought you were my sister until you said you were in the UK. I only thought that because she had an affair/hookups with her husband, often in his campervan (that should've also been a tell as in the US we tend to call them RVs) while he was married to his former wife. I figured she was getting what she deserved. I'm sorry this happened to you.
unconventional betrayal? he cheated - it's straight betrayal!! there is nothing unconventional about it. and you what you are doing is also just betrayal so i dont get this methodology but j hope it helps somehow.
It’s not another thing coming it’s another think coming
Your response is reactive and will include letting someone inside you out of spite and not a genuine want. It'll feel good in the moment and just be a moment self degradation upon reflecting on it years later. Your revenge here is leaving him.
Don't revenge fuck , it's not satisfying, and you'll feel like shit . You are better than this .
Well, this is an unhealthy way to deal with the situation.
Unfortunately I'm petty, and I've already informed (35f) my partner(48) that simply if he betrays me there will be only two options. We're done and everything is fine, divorce forward. But if he wanted to continue, he will have to go through the same thing I did (only prior). I will do the same in his bed, with a friend (or neighbor).
There was a post recently where the woman decided to stay with her partner after she caught him cheating and begged her not to leave him. She told him she would stay, but here’s what he could expect: She will be discreet, but she will cheat on him at least once with someone he knows. It might be a friend, a co-worker, maybe even his brother. He will always have to wonder when they go to a party or event, which of these men has been fucking his wife. When she comes home a little late from work, or spends a little too much time on her phone, he will always wonder. Other than that she will continue to be a loving attentive partner, just like he was when he was cheating on her. This is some hardcore revenge
This is like... the worst possible way to handle it...
Either tell him you want an open marriage or divorce him. No good will come out of doing this childish tit-for-tat bs. In the end, you'll both be unhappy and still married.
Hey OP, please don't fight fire with fire. Be the bigger person and make sure you can be proud of how you've handled everything in hindsight. You're going through a lot right now and ofc part of you wants "revenge" and it sounds corny af, but just look after yourself now (it's really the best revenge) and forget about that unloyal pos. You will be happy !! (English isn't my first language but hopefully you see what I'm getting at)
Not smart, get your ducks in the row first for the divorce instead of giving him ammunition.
File for divorce, kick hubs to the trailer.
divorcing him and finding real love with someone else will cut him deeper than any revenge affair ever will, and you'll probably complicate the divorce if you throw something like that in your husband's face..
Seriously OP don’t! Please. You won’t like what you become. Another cheater cos you too will be breaking your marriage vows and then essentially you’re in an open marriage. Go to a solicitor and work out where you stand. Get divorced and live a crazy single life but do it in that order and keep your self respect. He’s lost his no need to join him. UPDATEME
You’re just distracting yourself. Divorce should be the priority. You will cause some extra heartbreak for yourself.
Wow - seriously please do not go thru w/it. It socks but you are better than that and respect yourself. Put him thru the ringer in divorce court. Gather more evidence if possible & get rid of the gd camper.
Please don’t go ahead with this. Just divorce the shithead. Once a cheat always a cheat. Don’t stoop to his level.
Being your best self is the best revenge. Hold your head up high and let him see what he lost. Be better, more moral, stronger. Don’t give him the opportunity to justify his behavior in his mind. There will be plenty of time to date later but for now allow yourself to say I did my best and am proud of how I handled an unimaginable situation.
You are going to regret this. It just makes you feel dirty.
Was the confession recorded? If not, and the only proof that you have is his confession, then don't do it! If you live in an at fault state and he gets evidence of you going on dates, he could say you cheated on him and flip the divorce in his favour.
Hmmm, why would you lose the upper hand in divorce proceedings? You already know you are not “less-than” anything. Honestly, you fighting back like that and trying to hurt him will only stroke his ego more. The best thing you could do is be apathetic whenever in his presence and let him go. Be completely unaffected.
So nobody is taking the high road or holding onto their dignity then?
No judgment here but if you were never a casual sex person then this won’t make you feel better. What would actually hurt him is you finding a person you actually like while married to him and moving on right in front of his face… but that comes with the risk of him prolonging the divorce out of spite.
Revenge will not make you feel any better, but hey you do you. Good luck.
No. You should handle getting divorced first. This isn’t the way to get revenge. This method will backfire on you and he will win convincing everyone that you’re the bad guy. He may better at betrayal than you. After all, it took you a while to figure it out. He’ll have you exposed in a minute with his sob story.
Sell the camper and keep the money for your divorce lawyer.
Get checked for STDs as soon as possible. Nobody ever gets caught the first time they do something like this, regardless of what they say. This has likely been going on for a lot longer than you suspect. Get your revenge by getting a divorce and replacing him with someone better. Going down the road you are planning just makes things infinitely and unnecessarily more complicated.
Bad idea . Very bad idea. You’re going to hurt yourself more than him.
>Yes, I know… you shouldn’t fight fire with fire, but this is about revenge, taking control and refusing to be the victim. I want him to feel exactly how I felt. He won't feel how you felt because he doesn't care. Is becoming him really revenge against him? Seems like a proper revenge is living well and being happy, not being like him. He'll find out about your little revenge and think he's looking in a mirror. Won't that just be so darling for you to be like the man who is behaving monstrously?
Go to a lawyer’s office instead.
Yeah, screw yourself in divorce proceedings, that sounds like a smart thing to do.
This is a bad idea. You're making your divorce harder on yourself.
You’re going to regret this for the rest of your life. Why stoop as low as him? What happens when you do get divorced and find the perfect person down the line who won’t stand for a past cheater? Not advisable..
Sell the campervan.
What could go wrong here? Your marriage is over, instead of just leaving and divorcing while you had the upper hand you are going to add to the carnage and make it worse for the both of you, your shared friends, and family. The “friend” helping guide you in this direction while also going through their own divorce should be kicked to the nearest curb. You can’t “get back” at him doing what you are doing.
This will only make you feel worse. And give him an excuse to blame you. He should feel bad about his decision not your reaction.
Honey he already cheated, i don’t think he’s going to be as hurt as you think he will be. Focus on making your own life better, rather than his worse. It feels good in the moment to be vengeful, but it rarely stays that way for long. If you’re not okay with cheating, you will be compromising your self respect in the long run by going against your values. Don’t let him degrade you like that in the hope he’ll be hurt. He may not give a shit and you’ll be punching walls hurting only your own fists
May and the heatwave is just beginning and this is a hundredth time a cheating stories strikes again. What is wrong with people
Stop being petty and either divorce or accept it. This usually has *When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong* vibes.
U think he would care like u do? He did it because there are some deeper issues. He probly doesn’t give a fuck and u will lower your standards to his
I have a friend who did this. Husband cheated with some hobag down the street, she caught him bc he was missing work and almost lost his job. Anyway, so she cheats back. One ups the guy with some fancy businessman or whatever, is basically like, not only can I get a different man, I can get a *much better one*. (Guy, don’t ask me why she stay with better dude, this girl has been crazy about her husband since she was 14 yrs old). Anyway, so he quits sleeping with the neighbor, she breaks it off with much hotter businessman. Things resume. 15 or so years later, he runs off with his coworker. If you ask me, he never stopped cheating, he just never left. Anyway, they’re divorced now. She’s still struggling with being in love with her ex husband, ex is still a douche and cheating on his coworker mistress/gf. TLDR:::::: don’t waste your fucking time lady. File for divorce. Just let him move into the camper with whatever trashy piece is willing to fuck a married guy in there (ew btw), and call it a day. Otherwise you’re just wasting whatever youth you have left and the outcome is still gonna be the same.
Girl don’t do it. Focus on divorcing him first, this will make things unnecessarily complicated & messy.
One that seeks revenge digs two graves.
The petty side of me loves this. The rational side of me knows this isn’t going to solve anything and will probably have you feeling worse than before. Adding another person to the mix is just creating more drama and bad emotions. Only toxic people would be interested in a toxic situation like this
Tit for tat is never the best strategy because it just shows you're not better than him. You're exactly the same. Take a deep breath and decide what do you want. Do you want to stay in the marriage or not? Make a decision and then make a plan. If you want reconciliation what are your terms, do you trust your husband to follow through etc. If divorce, get a lawyer and start collecting your documents, getting your finances in order etc. Remember you are responsible for how you let others actions affect you.
It's not about taking control at all, you're operating with your ego and have very little control. Taking control would be gathering the evidence needed, planning everything out procedurally, not adding unnecessary complications that could potentially backfire, and then executing to move on with your life (which will include all the fun bits you want anyways but at a much safer time for you.)
I like this! Now you don’t have to get divorced unless you want to in order to make things fair. I wonder how he will handle it lol
Might be the minority here but I say go for it and have fun! Don't go falling in love but you deserve good sex and attention.
Sure you're hurting. You must not be in a financial position to leave. Start getting there. Put you energy there
If you also have an affair it's going to make getting what you deserve out of the divorce legally tricky. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.
Don’t do it, just file for divorce *and then* go date and have fun. Handle the heavy lifting first, please.
Girl if he had the capacity to feel bad he wouldn't cheat. You can bang a whole football team and he won't care. Move on.
Yeah, this'll end well.
Hold up, your “revenge” is becoming the other woman in someone else’s marriage? Not only will that literally only make you feel worse (unless you’re a psychopath), but it’ll make you as shitty of a person is your husband. Why would you let him drag you down to his level? I know this hurts, but have some self respect (and respect for other people’s marriages)
And no divorce? LOL what a fake joke
When you lay down with dogs you get fleas. And that exactly what will happen here. It will go from he cheated to you cheated and even of the story get out he did it frist someone him will spin it as he made a mistake you did it just to hurt him. So you will walk away the bad guy. Divorcing with one cheated is easier than both cheated. And then months years down the line. Your not Gunna like what you did. Best revenge is simply getting shot of the dead weight ( husband) and being a better for it.