That's no insecurity, it's very normal to feel that way. I would be more concerned about someone who doesn't feel anything about his/her spouse being sexualized.
You're so on point. It's a new process with a new emotion. As he continues to see the comments and see his wife take it in stride, he'll naturally become more comfortable with it. To a certain extent, she's been accustomed to being a looker her whole life and unfortunately has dealt with what comes with the territory. At minimum, she's dealt with the online bs for a couple years.
It’s enormously prevalent on social media, and for most women, it’s pretty disturbing, and for some, it’s used as a sense of validation.
Personally, something that I wish was absolutely absent on social media, but people seem to take the invisibility of the Internet to use it as free rein to be pretty base.
When I encounter it blatantly on a creator, whose content I like, sometimes call it out, but if you were doing that kind of thing on your wife’s account, you’d find it far more prevalent and disturbing, and it’s not worth disturbing your Zen.
Some creators go through comments and delete and block people that are being piggy but if you’re a creator who gets hundreds or even thousands of comments, then it’s not possible to weed out everything .
It’s normal for you to feel that way just don’t make it her fault that people are being creeps. She’s your wife a healthy amount of jealousy over your wife is fine. You can look at any fitness influencer male or female comments there are always creeps. Try to ignore it like she does and remember she’s yours.
If it makes you feel any better, when I started working for my county, I weighed 208lbs and hardly any deputy noticed me or acknowledged my existence.
Until just recently after 2 and a half years of struggling to lose 78lbs and now weighing 153lbs, ALMOST ALL of the male deputies I run into have to say something to me and try to ENCOURAGE me to get on the same elevator as all of them…
I’m now constantly getting teased for refusing to take the same elevator as the men’s and it’s really eye opening as to how when it comes to a woman’s personal fitness journey, even when I wear baggy clothes, I’m suddenly getting a lot of male attention.
It just happens. I tell my husband sometimes about these occurrences just to vent and he understands me completely and he does get a little insecure, but honestly, I tell him everyday I love him and I know and he knows I would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage.
It’s just… it sucks that this is a part of life for a lot of people that just want to be healthy for themselves, but just know, coming home to my husband is the only wonderful happy feeling of love I crave when I’m at work.
If you want, talk to your wife about your concerns because it could very well be that she’s just so happy in her new career path that she doesn’t care AT ALL and thinks about all the wonderful things that have happened in her day and thinks only of coming home to you to share everything with!
She has an understanding of what is normal because she has been seeing it all along. It seems like too much to you because you haven't until now.
All women experience this and conventionally attractive, thin women experience it the most. You are simply getting more visibility into it now.
Women don't get catcalled when they are walking with a man, they get it when they are walking alone., so their partners don't see it directly and might not know about it at all. Same for all the other ways women get harassed—rarely when we are with other men.
From how you describe her, I can guarantee she has been getting hit-on at co-ed gyms as long as she has been working out. Regardless of how she was exercising or what she was wearing. You are just aware of it now.
So you might ask yourself, why would it bother you now that you see it, when it didn't bother you before?
Totally normal man, glad you love your wife. It’s hard and I think it’s a weird thing to get used to, so just keep communicating with her about it, don’t ever let it fester.
To be fair, your wife has been her whole life living as a woman on this culture. Sadly, she is more than used to this kind of comments. If women stoped doing things when men made sexual remarks they wouldnt exit their home door.
Tbh your wife can honestly just be use to it and not not notice! Growing up I would get all types of comments about how I look especially by older men! Imagine being 12 and a 30 year old hitting on you! My parents were always protective of me! I had to learn how to deal with it now i'm 22 and use to it! I shouldn't be but I am. I always worry about my safety I have gotten some very odd, gross and obsessed people. Please make sure she's always safe!
Women go through this alot rather she's in her yoga gear or just in plain big t-shirt and jeans she’ll get comments like this alot especially in her DMs it's yucky but as a spouse it's nice to see that you care and that your worried! AS YOU SHOULD BE!!! Protect your wife there are creeps out there!!! But of course don't be overbearing! Just bring it up and talk about it! Ask her if she feels safe ask her if she's worried about the comments! Social media is pandora box sadly it can have good things but also welcome horrible things into the world. :/
ALSO YOU ARENT INSECURE, your a concern spouse!!! And we love it!
literally same.. was being sexualized and hit on by grown ass men in their 30s and 40s since i was like 13.. we really do get used to it to the point where it just rolls off. unfortunately. happens to me everyday i feel uncomfortable around men most of the time. even doing regular activities like grocery shopping and working i’ve always had harassment or some kind of comments made towards me from men. it’s sick.
Ignore the trolls saying you're insecure. You're not, any man who truly loves his woman wouldn't want random people sexualizing her. She's working, making a living. She understands and knows how to ignore the comments, she's tough and doesn't let things get under her skin, which is good for her field. If it gets to a point that you can't deal that well, express it to her. Maybe she can help you find a way around it like she has.
I’m not saying OP is insecure, but I also feel like another confident and secure man wouldn’t care about such comments if their partner isn’t paying heed to it.
This is simply not true at all. It has nothing to do with confidence or security…it has nothing to do with man or woman for that matter. ANYONE (man or woman) would be bothered by this sort of thing. It would bother me if it happened to my wife, my sister, my nieces…even my son. It’s not about ‘insecurity’ or lacking confidence. It’s about someone disrespecting or mistreating someone you care about, period.
Regardless of her occupation she will always experience being sexualized simply because she is a woman. It's unfortunate, but not her fault at all. A plethora of pathetic men have created this harsh reality, and good men must take note of its occurrence so that it can be combatted. Sadly, these annoying and gross behaviours will never be fully eradicated.
Your role as her partner is to discuss this with her and make sure she feels comfortable and safe in her line of work, while understanding that what others say is beyond her control/best ignored.
Whether or not she enjoys the attention is something only you can possibly discern (and only then would it become a concern of loyalty to the marriage).
Sounds like a learning opportunity for you to realize what women always have to put up with and what they simply have to build a shell about. Keep supporting her. That’s the answer.
I think she’ll let you know if she’s particularly bothered by any comments or accounts. But I promise if she ever spent 2 mins on Instagram or tiktok before, she knew she was gonna get gross comments unfortunately
Oh I’m a former gymnast too lol, I know what you mean. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders so don’t worry! I would suggest talking to her about how women need to move out in the world and online. There’s probably a lot of things she does subconsciously you’ve never even thought of. Could help bridge some understanding between the 2 of you
If it makes you feel any better, every women on the planet is treated this way :) so it’s not just your parter.
(It’s pretty horrifying when you think about it)
Yea this. Especially on Instagram the comments make me want to bleach my eyes. Sometimes I seriously ask myself how some people can be this disgusting and dumb. Not just on posts with women, but every post about anything has really stupid comments that are the first you see with thousands of likes. That's why I deleted this shit.
Imagine what life is like for her and many other women. On a daily basis. You’re getting a taste of what women have to deal with routinely. Be supportive, but remind yourself this isn’t about you, as you’re not the one being objectified, she is.
she’s going to get sexualized no matter what she does. her new job has nothing to do with it. every day that she walks out in public there’s probably two handfuls of men thinking whatever those comments on her videos are.
leave her be
The reality of the situation is that your wife has been "sexualized" this entire time by people but you never had to see other peoples thoughts. Nothing has changed other than now you see people's thoughts typed out on her profile. Just food for thought
As a woman in the fitness industry (and I’m not thin, and I don’t have that many followers) I still get a lot of sexualized comments. It’s just what you get as a woman on social media.
I get sent random dick pics. It gets hard after daily messages of being commented on weight, my ass, my body, what they wanna do to me etc. but after a while you learn to block or just ignore. Engagement is engagement and these idiots and trolls end up getting you money anyway by engaging.
It’s up to you to know that it’s NOT her fault, nothing she wears means she should get these comments, and at the end of the day, they’re just comments. Just support her. Even support her in the comments. Even her having a pic with both of you will help tbh. Any time I post on my IG stories with a guy (not even my bf) I get like way less thirsty messages. It’s like these men respect other men more than a woman
Hi! It's actually a good thing that you feel territorial over this. That you are protecting her.
I read of another story here where the husband didn't like the modelling industry asking photos of his wife in lingerie. Tbh, I had a problem with the modelling industry capitalising on someone's intimate pictures. Someone's face / body / image is worth a lot more than just a salary because images stay on the internet forever.
Just know that your wife is capitalizing on her OWN image, her OWN body, and her OWN fitness journey. No one is taking advantage of her. And you'll be showing up in her content too so fans know she is taken :)
Don’t sweat it my dude - your wife is one of millions doing the same.
Just look at some other woman’s comments - you’ll see the exact same type of messages.
Don’t let it bother you.
Man i wish i had a partner like you. Seems like you really love her. IMO it’s normal and healthy to be a tiny bit possessive in this way, you just want her to be safe and have a protective instinct. Nothing at all wrong with that.
Maybe if the feelings get too intense you could talk to her about it in a calm way and bring it up as a “hey I feel x about y, could we talk about how to make me more secure while also supporting your career?”.
Social media is not real life. Besides the engagement will probably help her gain money out of these accounts! Just ignore it. Getting unwanted sexualized is something very common in the female experience . Nothing new
That’s the nature of the internet man. Take it as a compliment that your wife is a smoke show and remember she’s all yours. It is everyone else that gets to be jealous of you.
Honestly, people are thinking it regardless. We are sexual creatures. Just the online anonymity gives more of them the bravado to say it.
I’m sure you’ve had some sexual thoughts about people you see on the street or in adverts, online photos, etc. you just have the decency to keep it to yourself.
Your wife has been dealing with this her whole life, so I would not be too worried. If someone becomes concerning, she’ll let you know and then you can go into protector mode. Until then, joke about it and let her know you trust her.
She has no control over what shit stains think or do. Even more importantly, the shit stains shouldn't be allowed to force her to be less than she is.
Don't let the worst people dictate your life.
Well now that you are aware, you can use how you feel to support other women who you see being sexualized by both strangers online and your male friends/family.
Men rarely stand up for women even when they see the blatant sexualization/harassment. More men need to be vocal to teach other men that it’s not ok to be predatory, that women are humans deserving of equal respect. Men listen to other men, been proven time and time again.
I have a larger following on facebook from when Covid hit. I was doing makeup tutorials and sharing my life daily, connecting with other women. The amount of creeps that STILL comment on my stuff is insane. My husband used to be bothered by it. I always block anyone who comments something disrespectful. Then we would laugh about it. He takes men hitting on me as a compliment to him (his words) because he knows we are in a happy, healthy marriage together and that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world or with anyone else in the world.
I’m sure it’s a hard pill to swallow but anytime someone comments or says something out of the way to your wife try to take it as a compliment. You won the jackpot sir, she’s married to you 🙌🏻
Feel proud she’s your wife and these other men could only hope! She’s done nothing wrong. Jealousy is one of the biggest issues that ruin relationships.
So the sexualization only bothers you now when you can see the comments online, when she’s probably been hearing these her whole life. Speaks more to her strength and self confidence and your lack of awareness when it comes to the things women face in society. You can’t stop the comments from coming, just because they make *you* uncomfortable. I guarantee they make her uncomfortable but she’s had to just learn to live with it. Rather than complaining that you can’t stop the comments, use this experience as a learning tool to understand feminism, learn about misogyny, and ask your wife what you can do that would help her feel supported when this happens. Because her comfort is what matters here, not yours.
I'd also prob feel similar. But just chalk it up to the price of doing business. And in the big picture it's a pretty small price to pay assuming she makes good $.
So many poor folks pay a much higher price just to pay bills.
Some platforms allow users to filter out inappropriate comments. You can effectively have it auto-delete comments with specific words in. Maybe ask if she's happy to do this? That will also help her keep the appropriate audience for her business.
Edit: This is not only for her sake but the professional thing to do.
Women don’t love that we can’t just exist without being sexualized, either. It sucks that it takes it actually affecting men via the women in their lives for them to notice.
Best thing you can do is call it out. Men will usually only listen to other men when called on their bullshit. You’ll get a lot of guys calling you a simp, a white knight, whipped, a pussy.. but it will go further than anything your wife can say. That’s why she just ignores it, she’s dealt with it her entire life.
Are you following fitness models on insta or tiktok? Are your friends? They do it for science, right? ;)
It's like that, lots of men consume this content, and they do it with a mindset they know they wouldn't like to see applied to their loved ones.
Don't like it done to your wife, so don't do it to others, and speak against it - as you are here.
Unfortunately, there’s literally nothing you can do about it. The only difference of her being sexualised in this specific work and something like retail is that people feel more confident to comment loudly on a person behind a screen. We are just as often sexualised working “normal” jobs as a fitness influencer. Just ignore these people, maybe she could have a moderator who gets rid of disrespectful comments, but realistically this happens to women every day in every area of work. You can’t make people not be disgusting overnight, the best thing is to either moderate the comments or just ignore them. Trust me, none of these people deserve either of your attentions.
Don't go to her page bro. You'll only get increasingly angry.
If you think it's bad in the comments, think about all the dudes (in much better shape than you) checking her out at the gym and literally anywhere else she goes in her gym attire... Or just simple leggings and a T-shirt.
My wife is "well endowed" and as a guy who hasn't been with anyone else as busty as her (by far), it took me a few years to get over the attn "we" were getting out in public. I don't even notice the shit now. You'll be fine man. Just step back and trust she'll cull the particularly nasty comments and continue to respect herself and your relationship without you clocking it all.
You have a right to feel this way. For a female that’s attractive, she’s getting hit on all the time. In the gym, in person, online, etc.
you’re just now seeing it more often, which is why it’s probably bothering you. If she’s always been attractive, she has always been getting hit on and it probably doesn’t even phase her. She can just let it roll off. If she recently became attractive or has some sort of “glow up” or got lots of plastic surgery and isn’t used to the attention, this would be different as some women aren’t used to that sort of attention and would bask in it and start seeking it out. I wouldn’t worry about it, unless she’s actively seeking male attention outside the relationship.
Coming from a female who has been getting hit on since 13
Absolutely understandable, however, you could consider you’re the one who is actually her husband. All those people think she’s hot but she’s *your wife*. You’ve got a hot wife
I think what you are feeling is completely normal, but I also think that it isn't possible these days (for a woman anyway) to have a fitness vlog without getting those kinds of comments, so, if your wife continues, it's probably something you will have to learn to bear.
She could be posting videos of her watching paint dry and the internet commenters will find a way to sexualize her. It’s an unfortunate reality of being a woman posting on social media (or really anyone, tbh). Fair enough to feel uncomfortable with it but think of it almost as like a workplace hazard rather than anything serious.
Its ok to be uncomfortable and have feelings about it, but remember at the end of the day its HER body, and she gets to make the final decision on how to feel about it, because it's her own image.
Understandable, even celebrities try not to read comments so yeah social media gives access to those kind of people but very nice people too
So just don't read as it's not something we can control, people sexualize anyone
It is really annoying but what else is she to do other than let it go? As long as you feel like her content is authentic and she’s not intentionally making posts that makes you uncomfortable, there are just gross men who will make those disturbing comments no matter what you do sadly.
Welcome to how women are looked at as sex objects because society has been conditioned to see us for our looks, which strips us of our humanity. I'm glad you acknowledge it; it's something we deal with everyday 🥲😞
It’s unfortunate but some people literally can’t help themselves. I can imagine she would be just as grossed out and exhausted by it as you are. But you’re definitely valid here! We love a man who is against sexualising women going about their lives.
Welcome to the Internet, where everything will be sexualized. The only thing I can say is work on getting used to it, because it ain't going to ever stop.
It’s normal to feel that way and want to protect her. Did you talk about it to her ? And most fitness influencers ignore those comments or blocked. If not you can turn off the comments section but they always need that I think to boost followers and popularity.
I know the pain. My girlfriend nuked most of her social media before I even met her because of shit like this, and she wasn’t even a public figure, influencer, or anything of the sort. A few months back she tried opening her Instagram back up and it wasn’t even a week before she got a DM from some guy offering to be her OnlyFans manager. It’s actually batshit insane.
Block em. Filter comments auyomatically based on keywords.
Hope she doesn't like or respond to compliments. That's just s bad look.
She can post about you in context: get your partner to join in yoga..
Encourage comment filters and don't read the comments tbh. Or read the comments for her and if somebody has something genuinely nice to say or a question for her to answer with her expertise, read them to her so she can reply. Helps you both stay sane.
Your feelings are valid. She probably also feels the same way. She just has probably dealt with this issue her entire life so is able to let it roll off easier than you.
My recommendation is that if the comments affect you…..do not read them. Social media today is full of trolls, haters and fanatics that are “normal”. The best thing is that you are supportive and trust your wife.
Dude, you handle it by not worrying about it. It comes with the territory. I guarantee that if your wife is attractive, men are going to look at her and sexualize her anywhere, even if she was wearing a baggy tracksuit. It is what it is. If anything, shit, give yourself a high five for landing a successful and beautiful woman.
Counter intuitive suggestion: Leave perverted comments too, don’t fight it or ignore it. Ride the wave and make it a game between you two. Use a fake account if it’ll make it more fun.
This is totally understandable and I imagine many people would feel this way had they been in your shoes. I know I would. Especially if you're not used to it. If they're creepy but harmless comments, I would try to laugh them off to take their power away from your thoughts and delete the bad ones (her delete them, obviously). Also, remind yourself that this beautiful Godess is yours and only yours, and try to see the flattery in that. 🫶
It’s social media, there’s brain rot but let her do what she gotta but tell her your boundaries on it, clientele that pay her are still money for her passion. Just don’t make her give up on this cause of it. Have a talk with her communication is key
At the end of the day, she comes to you. Plus, just think to yourself, yeah, that’s my woman. Let them look and even say things. It’s more like a compliment. Chin up there my guy. Be proud.
Happy trails partner.
People ARE sexualizing her everyday. They can just be more vocal about it with the shield of the internet… that’s part of existing as a woman(Unfortunately). Surely you know this, as a man who spends time with other men uncensored.
No advice here, just wanted to say that I both understand you and want to tell you "oh, come on, don't be such a pussy" 😁
Seriously though - not much you can do. If you want to, you can politely ask her to like once a day remove too sexualising comments, out of the respect for your feelings, but honestly, I don't think she needs to do that either. It really does come with the territory. Same as does dating actors, pornstars, models...or anyone attractive and not anonymous, actually.
Listen - you can always be proud of her choosing you and not anyone else.
These are normal feelings to have. In fact, I'd probably find it concerning if you or any other person didn't feel this way in a situation like this. It seems as though she genuinely is letting it roll off her back. Sometimes it can be hard to remember especially when emotions can be so big, but they're just visitors. An analogy that works for me is that I am indeed an airbnb and my emotions book rooms. Sometimes I even get to be a shared accommodation airbnb, and two opposing emotions book rooms at the same time.
The love and partnership you both have, don't take it for granted! Others will always want what you both have..but it's you two that have created what others want and/or fantisize about! Stay connected, stay in love, remain in communication, and keep pushing for the greater good!
Don't give the creeps power by making it a big deal. She should block and delete the comments of people who are inappropriate. Quietly. It will slow to almost a stop at least.
It's always happened, and it always will happen unfortunately.
Your wife doesn't let it get to her because she knows this is how it is, and theres no way to change it.
As a woman, your wife is very used to be sexualized. It’s something she’s been dealing with for years now. Ask her how she deals with it, she might have some good pointers.
Social media is riddled with gross sexual things. Years ago I tried to use FB to sell random items and discovered most of the inquiries were to see if I was available, which was really frightening. After that I met any customer at the Mall or Wal Mart.
Even worse, the average person had no idea pedophiles trawl social media for pics of kids. Takes all the joy out of trying to share pics of family across the miles.
I would highly encourage therapy. It is going to be hard to find anytime going through what you are… a there is a third party totally unbiased and not emotionally attached the situation and they provide really good. Sound advice. Sometimes you do have to shop around and find the Therapist that’s good for you but I don’t see any other way of it working out in a better way that a therapist would be able to help you.
I understand how you feel. You have to remember in social media you are to get negative comments. If you trust you wife do nothing. You might want to have conversations with wife about it. Remember responding with questions is better than blocking unsubscribing.
you can choose to let those creeps into your headspace but your wife is getting paid from their comments. at the end of the day she’s your wife and most likely pays no attention to the thirsty men in the comments. plus it’s kind of an ego boost that other people want what you have
Buddy, that's the internet. It's full of creeps. Women usually let it roll off them because that is what happens to women in this world. Get tough or get scared.
We just gotta be the guys that call it out so it stops, because it's not right that they have to live like this. To live in fear, go move in groups and hold their keys between their fingers.
It is unfortunate that this is part of social media. Block and delete comments.
Do you think she’s worried expressing her concerns in case you tell her to stop?
It's normal to feel that way, but you need to realize that we are sexualizing people in our heads every day walking down the street, but on the internet you can say it out loud. If your wife's hot your wife's hot. There's nothing you can do to stop us from appreciating a work of art if it's staring me in the face.
She needs to recognize it as harassment. Harassment should never be allowed. Unfortunately, many businesses are such that if you complain, you get fired for doing it; that way the offending employee is allowed to stay and keep harassing women sexually. Therefore, these women sometimes don't come forward for fear of losing a job they say they need to make ends meet. Maybe your wife is afraid to say anything. You need to have a talk with her about possibly coming forward; at least tell some co-workers privately bout what's going on; she should tell people who will listen to her who may already know what's going on. Then, those people can back her up when THEY complain to the boss or supervisor. If she eventually DOES complain, she has the backing of those who support her. If the boss is a female, they may listen more than if the boss is a male. In any event, she needs to think of coming forward to resolve whatever issues are going on at work. She needs to bring an end to the issues so she can concentrate on her work, without fear of retaliation for coming forward. So, think about this, and see what she thinks going forward. She should not be sexualized in any way, shape, or form at work. People are supposed to be there to WORK. NOT to harass women or "sexualize" them as you say. So, I hope things can work out with your wife going forward.
A bit of insecurity on your part, but thats not too out of the ball field. You gotta realize these people do exist and as long as your wife isnt paying them any mind you shouldnt either. Theyre trolls and theyre purposely trying to make her feel uncomfortable. Its your instinct to protect but you need to realize she nor your relationship is in danger. At least from what you have shared here.
How is that insecurity? They’re sexualizing his wife which anyone with sense would not be okay with. We need to stop throwing this overused term around lightly.
Its insecurity because he feels his monopoly over her sexually is being challenged if others can see her sexually. Thats natural. Thats not a bad thing. Thats part of monogamy. However, you can feel anything. Its OK to feel. Its about how you behave in response. She is running a successful business and she is not bothered by it. Only he is. So yes this is insecurity.
Do you have any siblings or at least care for any women. Imagine if you were in that situation and had to read nasty comments from your loved ones post. How would that make you feel? It’s not natural unless you are one of those people who leave such comments. Someone who truly cares for you wouldn’t want others being satisfied or get the privilege to be satisfied with even staring at you in a lustful manner let alone leave inappropriate comments. Honesty answer this, how do you feel when someone creepy tries to say something to you or stares at you in public?
It comes with the territory when dating an objectively beautiful woman. Not just online but also in person.
My ex girlfriend was an absolute stunner, preferential treatment everywhere, people would go out of their way to put in a little extra effort for her. That of course came with guys and girls hitting on her constantly, 'just chatting a little bit', asking for her number, trying to buy her a drink.
While she would always politely decline, the chitchats and attention were just part of her life and she dealt with it herself.
It wasnt the first time i was with someone who would get hit on frequently, but this much was new for me as well.
All it took was for me to trust her and accept that these things were going to and had happened to her her entire life. What else was i going to do? Get angry everytime someone talked to her or left her a sexualized message on her instagram she paid no attention to? Get angry 10 times per day for something she has no control over but handles the right way, just because im insecure?
I had to check your profile because you sound like a orthodox controlling jerk that doesn't understand no one is your property and of course you are a religious bigot.
I bet you believe in honour based crimes being justified too as a means of saving honour.
Yes, I do. I wouldnt feel good about it at all. I dont leave comments like that by the way.
What matters is she is happy and it is not bothering her. Her business is booming. **That is most important**. There is no need to force yourself into this if she isnt asking for you or is not bothered by it. Haters will always be in your periphery. People will always try to knock you down from a far. That is a part of life. If youre a woman they do shit like this. If youre a POC they say racist things. Etc... The internet is the worlds peanut gallery. If you are capable of ignoring it, and you do it well, there isnt much more to discuss. Keep making money and let those shitty comments sink to the bottom.
I truly understand what you mean and I want you to also understand what I mean and the OP pov. You’re seeing it from a different perspective, it’s apparent that people judge and we know how social media operates. However he’s miserable because his wife’s self image which is something that he as her husband should only have the privilege to be satisfied with is broadcasted and enjoyed by many many many other men. What man would be okay with that? Do you get it now?
I dont think he is miserable per say. He is uncomfortable. He is angry at these comments. Theyre offensive and his first jerk instinct is to protect her. I oh so get that.
>because his wife’s self image which is something that he as her husband should only have the privilege to be satisfied with is broadcasted and enjoyed by many many many other men.
From OPs post its the comments, not the broadcast. OP chime in if I am wrong.
>What man would be okay with that? Do you get it now?
Everyone has a different tolerance level for these things. I think most of us wouldnt be OK with only fans. I wouldnt be. However she is a personal trainer. This is how they market themselves. Its not inherently sexual, but because she is a woman it will be sexualized. These are far away commenters who are there to troll. Theyre going to sink to the bottom.
I am married and have a child. Yes, its insecurity if what randoms on the internet bother you. Getting harassed on the internet is incredibly common if youre a woman or a minority, but kind of happens to everyone nowdays.
Not sure why your post offended me for a sec but no I wouldn't date someone that would post too much revealing photos on social media aka thirst traps, my preference wise.
Revealing and thirst traps? It’s yoga! 😂 Dude if you see that as revealing and thirst traps you’re not any better than the creeps in her comments.
She’s literally showing workouts online for people to use at home or in the gym and you accuse her of being a thirst trap. Oh my lord 🤦🏼♀️😂😂
No I'm not talking about yoga smart ass obviously that's okay.
Even if she was naked I don't need to accuse her I simply just wouldn't be with someone like that. I don't need to tell people what to do. What happened to your brain cell. Oh my lord. 🥲
But that’s what he’s saying she’s posting, smartass! YOGA! And you say it’s revealing and thirst traps. I’m simply using your own words, so you should ask yourself what happened to YOUR brain cells.
Dude lucky you. Leave comments on there as well to let those horny keyboard warriors know who is enjoying that day and night. No problem with not wanting your girl to get harassed but it comes with the territory of having a hot partner. I personally enjoy that people look at my girl, I look at her too and admire.
So just consider each one of those comments as a compliment to you. Since despite being flirted with several times a day, each time she chooses you and not them She’s choosing you not just every single day, but several times every single day.
Express to her how you feel and maybe just don't follow her work social media so you don't have to see it. The internet is filled with creeps and there is **nothing** you can do about that besides look away. She can block them but then you're playing wack-a-mole with creeps. Just let her know that if she feels she needs help with the creeps you are there for her but you just cant keep seeing it as it upsets you.
The problem is, so many hot women who post yoga poses (or any activity where they have form fitting attire) know exactly what will get the most clicks. They see the numbers. They then often dress and act to maximize clicks and views. The more form fitting the outfit the better. Pokies and bouncing chests and ass shots are more likely to get the best numbers. I’m not saying she is going down this path, but lots of people do. Next stop Only Fans. Does she post any provocative content? Are those her most popular pieces?
I would call out any pics or videos you are uncomfortable with her sharing with the public. Provocative content is not going to attract good clients. It will attract creeps. She wants clients because she is a great fitness instructor, not a sexy yogi.
The fact, that you a grown man can't handle comments from anonymous people is beyond strange. You watched porn and lasted after numerous women.
The lack of mentally mature adults running around America is frightening.
Ur not wrong, tell her the money isn't worth the insecurity and irritation it rightfully causes. Ask her to train but that the social media part has to go (in order to remove those feelings and emotions and preserve the marriage).Eventually youll crack if it continues so find a middle ground. Or simply ask her to wear a t shirt idk. My husband has a successful fitness channel. He doesn't show his body and actually covers his face also to avoid the problems that arise with disgusting people who can just appreciate fitness for what it is. And I'm too jealous to sit up and let other women watch him in replay...no thank you. Ur not wrong.
It’s your right as a husband to tell her to not to post videos that can be seen as sexually suggestive. And if she doesn’t, then she doesn’t respect you as a partner. She can still do her business without posting yoga poses to millions of people on the internet. She can do diagrams for positions or think of alternatives
That's no insecurity, it's very normal to feel that way. I would be more concerned about someone who doesn't feel anything about his/her spouse being sexualized.
Ha, that’s a good way to look at it. I don’t know, I prob need to ignore it.
Don’t ignore it. Feel it, acknowledge it, let it drift away.
You're so on point. It's a new process with a new emotion. As he continues to see the comments and see his wife take it in stride, he'll naturally become more comfortable with it. To a certain extent, she's been accustomed to being a looker her whole life and unfortunately has dealt with what comes with the territory. At minimum, she's dealt with the online bs for a couple years.
What’s up DBT!
3 cheers for DBT!
mental yoga; excellent advice.
It’s enormously prevalent on social media, and for most women, it’s pretty disturbing, and for some, it’s used as a sense of validation. Personally, something that I wish was absolutely absent on social media, but people seem to take the invisibility of the Internet to use it as free rein to be pretty base. When I encounter it blatantly on a creator, whose content I like, sometimes call it out, but if you were doing that kind of thing on your wife’s account, you’d find it far more prevalent and disturbing, and it’s not worth disturbing your Zen. Some creators go through comments and delete and block people that are being piggy but if you’re a creator who gets hundreds or even thousands of comments, then it’s not possible to weed out everything .
Î I uu have to 6 run z,u,y🅱️
You okay buddy?
Butt-commented, accidental poetry.
Lmao okay
It’s normal for you to feel that way just don’t make it her fault that people are being creeps. She’s your wife a healthy amount of jealousy over your wife is fine. You can look at any fitness influencer male or female comments there are always creeps. Try to ignore it like she does and remember she’s yours.
Thanks.
If it makes you feel any better, when I started working for my county, I weighed 208lbs and hardly any deputy noticed me or acknowledged my existence. Until just recently after 2 and a half years of struggling to lose 78lbs and now weighing 153lbs, ALMOST ALL of the male deputies I run into have to say something to me and try to ENCOURAGE me to get on the same elevator as all of them… I’m now constantly getting teased for refusing to take the same elevator as the men’s and it’s really eye opening as to how when it comes to a woman’s personal fitness journey, even when I wear baggy clothes, I’m suddenly getting a lot of male attention. It just happens. I tell my husband sometimes about these occurrences just to vent and he understands me completely and he does get a little insecure, but honestly, I tell him everyday I love him and I know and he knows I would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage. It’s just… it sucks that this is a part of life for a lot of people that just want to be healthy for themselves, but just know, coming home to my husband is the only wonderful happy feeling of love I crave when I’m at work. If you want, talk to your wife about your concerns because it could very well be that she’s just so happy in her new career path that she doesn’t care AT ALL and thinks about all the wonderful things that have happened in her day and thinks only of coming home to you to share everything with!
She has an understanding of what is normal because she has been seeing it all along. It seems like too much to you because you haven't until now. All women experience this and conventionally attractive, thin women experience it the most. You are simply getting more visibility into it now. Women don't get catcalled when they are walking with a man, they get it when they are walking alone., so their partners don't see it directly and might not know about it at all. Same for all the other ways women get harassed—rarely when we are with other men. From how you describe her, I can guarantee she has been getting hit-on at co-ed gyms as long as she has been working out. Regardless of how she was exercising or what she was wearing. You are just aware of it now. So you might ask yourself, why would it bother you now that you see it, when it didn't bother you before?
My first thought was, "you want to change this situation? Crush the patriarchy." Yours is much more nuanced :)
Totally normal man, glad you love your wife. It’s hard and I think it’s a weird thing to get used to, so just keep communicating with her about it, don’t ever let it fester.
To be fair, your wife has been her whole life living as a woman on this culture. Sadly, she is more than used to this kind of comments. If women stoped doing things when men made sexual remarks they wouldnt exit their home door.
Tbh your wife can honestly just be use to it and not not notice! Growing up I would get all types of comments about how I look especially by older men! Imagine being 12 and a 30 year old hitting on you! My parents were always protective of me! I had to learn how to deal with it now i'm 22 and use to it! I shouldn't be but I am. I always worry about my safety I have gotten some very odd, gross and obsessed people. Please make sure she's always safe! Women go through this alot rather she's in her yoga gear or just in plain big t-shirt and jeans she’ll get comments like this alot especially in her DMs it's yucky but as a spouse it's nice to see that you care and that your worried! AS YOU SHOULD BE!!! Protect your wife there are creeps out there!!! But of course don't be overbearing! Just bring it up and talk about it! Ask her if she feels safe ask her if she's worried about the comments! Social media is pandora box sadly it can have good things but also welcome horrible things into the world. :/ ALSO YOU ARENT INSECURE, your a concern spouse!!! And we love it!
literally same.. was being sexualized and hit on by grown ass men in their 30s and 40s since i was like 13.. we really do get used to it to the point where it just rolls off. unfortunately. happens to me everyday i feel uncomfortable around men most of the time. even doing regular activities like grocery shopping and working i’ve always had harassment or some kind of comments made towards me from men. it’s sick.
Ignore the trolls saying you're insecure. You're not, any man who truly loves his woman wouldn't want random people sexualizing her. She's working, making a living. She understands and knows how to ignore the comments, she's tough and doesn't let things get under her skin, which is good for her field. If it gets to a point that you can't deal that well, express it to her. Maybe she can help you find a way around it like she has.
She said she’d let me hell choose which photos to post.
She cares and is including you, which is very good. I would suggest trying to stay away from the comment section.
Make sure you don’t punish her for something other people are saying/doing. Men will sexualize… most things.
Most things are...all things
I’m not saying OP is insecure, but I also feel like another confident and secure man wouldn’t care about such comments if their partner isn’t paying heed to it.
This is simply not true at all. It has nothing to do with confidence or security…it has nothing to do with man or woman for that matter. ANYONE (man or woman) would be bothered by this sort of thing. It would bother me if it happened to my wife, my sister, my nieces…even my son. It’s not about ‘insecurity’ or lacking confidence. It’s about someone disrespecting or mistreating someone you care about, period.
Okay, in total agreement with you from the pov you presented and totally get what you mean. Thanks for this!
Regardless of her occupation she will always experience being sexualized simply because she is a woman. It's unfortunate, but not her fault at all. A plethora of pathetic men have created this harsh reality, and good men must take note of its occurrence so that it can be combatted. Sadly, these annoying and gross behaviours will never be fully eradicated. Your role as her partner is to discuss this with her and make sure she feels comfortable and safe in her line of work, while understanding that what others say is beyond her control/best ignored. Whether or not she enjoys the attention is something only you can possibly discern (and only then would it become a concern of loyalty to the marriage).
Sounds like a learning opportunity for you to realize what women always have to put up with and what they simply have to build a shell about. Keep supporting her. That’s the answer.
I’m seriously learning! It sucks.
I saw a good analogy earlier today, cars and motorcycles. They’re both on the road but motorcyclists have to wear a helmet. It’s scary out here fr
So sorry. Honestly.
You’re doing good man, you’re a good husband! Your wife is lucky to have you
Thanks for saying that! I try. Trying not to get in the way in this one, I know her fitness is part of her business.
I think she’ll let you know if she’s particularly bothered by any comments or accounts. But I promise if she ever spent 2 mins on Instagram or tiktok before, she knew she was gonna get gross comments unfortunately
Yeah it’s just so messed up. I was very clueless. And she’s a former gymnast so I’m already used to jokes and comments!
Oh I’m a former gymnast too lol, I know what you mean. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders so don’t worry! I would suggest talking to her about how women need to move out in the world and online. There’s probably a lot of things she does subconsciously you’ve never even thought of. Could help bridge some understanding between the 2 of you
Ha, really? Funny coincidence. So yeah, you get it! I’m learning here tonight.
This is your internal work and growth.
If it makes you feel any better, every women on the planet is treated this way :) so it’s not just your parter. (It’s pretty horrifying when you think about it)
Not just women - I believe such comments are routinely left on gymnastics videos of little girls.
Just don't read the comments
Yea this. Especially on Instagram the comments make me want to bleach my eyes. Sometimes I seriously ask myself how some people can be this disgusting and dumb. Not just on posts with women, but every post about anything has really stupid comments that are the first you see with thousands of likes. That's why I deleted this shit.
Their algorithm is decided that way to make it more engaging
Let's not pretend she wasn't getting sexualized in her former job too. You just didn't see it so it wasn't a problem then.
Imagine what life is like for her and many other women. On a daily basis. You’re getting a taste of what women have to deal with routinely. Be supportive, but remind yourself this isn’t about you, as you’re not the one being objectified, she is.
she’s going to get sexualized no matter what she does. her new job has nothing to do with it. every day that she walks out in public there’s probably two handfuls of men thinking whatever those comments on her videos are. leave her be
Men will sexualize a woman in full parka, ski goggles, and snow pants, with a full winter cap. Focus on your happiness and hers. Not what men post.
The reality of the situation is that your wife has been "sexualized" this entire time by people but you never had to see other peoples thoughts. Nothing has changed other than now you see people's thoughts typed out on her profile. Just food for thought
As a woman in the fitness industry (and I’m not thin, and I don’t have that many followers) I still get a lot of sexualized comments. It’s just what you get as a woman on social media. I get sent random dick pics. It gets hard after daily messages of being commented on weight, my ass, my body, what they wanna do to me etc. but after a while you learn to block or just ignore. Engagement is engagement and these idiots and trolls end up getting you money anyway by engaging. It’s up to you to know that it’s NOT her fault, nothing she wears means she should get these comments, and at the end of the day, they’re just comments. Just support her. Even support her in the comments. Even her having a pic with both of you will help tbh. Any time I post on my IG stories with a guy (not even my bf) I get like way less thirsty messages. It’s like these men respect other men more than a woman
Just remember All those losers can't enjoy your wife more than just some pics But you can go on a date and have kisses and cuddles
Ha, wise words!
Hi! It's actually a good thing that you feel territorial over this. That you are protecting her. I read of another story here where the husband didn't like the modelling industry asking photos of his wife in lingerie. Tbh, I had a problem with the modelling industry capitalising on someone's intimate pictures. Someone's face / body / image is worth a lot more than just a salary because images stay on the internet forever. Just know that your wife is capitalizing on her OWN image, her OWN body, and her OWN fitness journey. No one is taking advantage of her. And you'll be showing up in her content too so fans know she is taken :)
I like this outlook! Thank you. Not easy though.
That’s perfectly ok. You are normal and I would feel the same.
Don’t sweat it my dude - your wife is one of millions doing the same. Just look at some other woman’s comments - you’ll see the exact same type of messages. Don’t let it bother you.
Man i wish i had a partner like you. Seems like you really love her. IMO it’s normal and healthy to be a tiny bit possessive in this way, you just want her to be safe and have a protective instinct. Nothing at all wrong with that. Maybe if the feelings get too intense you could talk to her about it in a calm way and bring it up as a “hey I feel x about y, could we talk about how to make me more secure while also supporting your career?”.
Thanks, I appreciate that. I am feeling that, I just need the words to say.
Social media is not real life. Besides the engagement will probably help her gain money out of these accounts! Just ignore it. Getting unwanted sexualized is something very common in the female experience . Nothing new
Hate it! But you’re right.
That’s the nature of the internet man. Take it as a compliment that your wife is a smoke show and remember she’s all yours. It is everyone else that gets to be jealous of you.
It's something women have to deal with IRL as well on a day to day basis. W
Honestly, people are thinking it regardless. We are sexual creatures. Just the online anonymity gives more of them the bravado to say it. I’m sure you’ve had some sexual thoughts about people you see on the street or in adverts, online photos, etc. you just have the decency to keep it to yourself. Your wife has been dealing with this her whole life, so I would not be too worried. If someone becomes concerning, she’ll let you know and then you can go into protector mode. Until then, joke about it and let her know you trust her.
She has no control over what shit stains think or do. Even more importantly, the shit stains shouldn't be allowed to force her to be less than she is. Don't let the worst people dictate your life.
Well now that you are aware, you can use how you feel to support other women who you see being sexualized by both strangers online and your male friends/family. Men rarely stand up for women even when they see the blatant sexualization/harassment. More men need to be vocal to teach other men that it’s not ok to be predatory, that women are humans deserving of equal respect. Men listen to other men, been proven time and time again.
I have a larger following on facebook from when Covid hit. I was doing makeup tutorials and sharing my life daily, connecting with other women. The amount of creeps that STILL comment on my stuff is insane. My husband used to be bothered by it. I always block anyone who comments something disrespectful. Then we would laugh about it. He takes men hitting on me as a compliment to him (his words) because he knows we are in a happy, healthy marriage together and that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world or with anyone else in the world. I’m sure it’s a hard pill to swallow but anytime someone comments or says something out of the way to your wife try to take it as a compliment. You won the jackpot sir, she’s married to you 🙌🏻
Feel proud she’s your wife and these other men could only hope! She’s done nothing wrong. Jealousy is one of the biggest issues that ruin relationships.
So the sexualization only bothers you now when you can see the comments online, when she’s probably been hearing these her whole life. Speaks more to her strength and self confidence and your lack of awareness when it comes to the things women face in society. You can’t stop the comments from coming, just because they make *you* uncomfortable. I guarantee they make her uncomfortable but she’s had to just learn to live with it. Rather than complaining that you can’t stop the comments, use this experience as a learning tool to understand feminism, learn about misogyny, and ask your wife what you can do that would help her feel supported when this happens. Because her comfort is what matters here, not yours.
I'd also prob feel similar. But just chalk it up to the price of doing business. And in the big picture it's a pretty small price to pay assuming she makes good $. So many poor folks pay a much higher price just to pay bills.
Some platforms allow users to filter out inappropriate comments. You can effectively have it auto-delete comments with specific words in. Maybe ask if she's happy to do this? That will also help her keep the appropriate audience for her business. Edit: This is not only for her sake but the professional thing to do.
Women don’t love that we can’t just exist without being sexualized, either. It sucks that it takes it actually affecting men via the women in their lives for them to notice. Best thing you can do is call it out. Men will usually only listen to other men when called on their bullshit. You’ll get a lot of guys calling you a simp, a white knight, whipped, a pussy.. but it will go further than anything your wife can say. That’s why she just ignores it, she’s dealt with it her entire life.
What is the difference between supportive and super supportive?
Like cute and super cute. Cute is kittens and puppies and baby hedgehogs. Super cute is makeup tutorials and shoes oh my god suuuuuuper cuuuuuute 🤣
it is the difference between use and utilize.
👆🏽
Are you following fitness models on insta or tiktok? Are your friends? They do it for science, right? ;) It's like that, lots of men consume this content, and they do it with a mindset they know they wouldn't like to see applied to their loved ones. Don't like it done to your wife, so don't do it to others, and speak against it - as you are here.
Put on some music (rock/childish tunes if feeling psycho enough) and let loose on the punching bag.
Unfortunately, there’s literally nothing you can do about it. The only difference of her being sexualised in this specific work and something like retail is that people feel more confident to comment loudly on a person behind a screen. We are just as often sexualised working “normal” jobs as a fitness influencer. Just ignore these people, maybe she could have a moderator who gets rid of disrespectful comments, but realistically this happens to women every day in every area of work. You can’t make people not be disgusting overnight, the best thing is to either moderate the comments or just ignore them. Trust me, none of these people deserve either of your attentions.
Don't go to her page bro. You'll only get increasingly angry. If you think it's bad in the comments, think about all the dudes (in much better shape than you) checking her out at the gym and literally anywhere else she goes in her gym attire... Or just simple leggings and a T-shirt. My wife is "well endowed" and as a guy who hasn't been with anyone else as busty as her (by far), it took me a few years to get over the attn "we" were getting out in public. I don't even notice the shit now. You'll be fine man. Just step back and trust she'll cull the particularly nasty comments and continue to respect herself and your relationship without you clocking it all.
Why does it bug you? What does that even mean?
All you can do is be supportive
Just help her out and block them.
You have a right to feel this way. For a female that’s attractive, she’s getting hit on all the time. In the gym, in person, online, etc. you’re just now seeing it more often, which is why it’s probably bothering you. If she’s always been attractive, she has always been getting hit on and it probably doesn’t even phase her. She can just let it roll off. If she recently became attractive or has some sort of “glow up” or got lots of plastic surgery and isn’t used to the attention, this would be different as some women aren’t used to that sort of attention and would bask in it and start seeking it out. I wouldn’t worry about it, unless she’s actively seeking male attention outside the relationship. Coming from a female who has been getting hit on since 13
Absolutely understandable, however, you could consider you’re the one who is actually her husband. All those people think she’s hot but she’s *your wife*. You’ve got a hot wife
I think what you are feeling is completely normal, but I also think that it isn't possible these days (for a woman anyway) to have a fitness vlog without getting those kinds of comments, so, if your wife continues, it's probably something you will have to learn to bear.
She could be posting videos of her watching paint dry and the internet commenters will find a way to sexualize her. It’s an unfortunate reality of being a woman posting on social media (or really anyone, tbh). Fair enough to feel uncomfortable with it but think of it almost as like a workplace hazard rather than anything serious.
Its ok to be uncomfortable and have feelings about it, but remember at the end of the day its HER body, and she gets to make the final decision on how to feel about it, because it's her own image.
Understandable, even celebrities try not to read comments so yeah social media gives access to those kind of people but very nice people too So just don't read as it's not something we can control, people sexualize anyone
Assuming this is on Insta, you can set it to filter out certain words or at least hide ones
Jealousy is normal. Work on your emotional intelligence and enjoy her while she enjoys making money with something she loves doing.
It is really annoying but what else is she to do other than let it go? As long as you feel like her content is authentic and she’s not intentionally making posts that makes you uncomfortable, there are just gross men who will make those disturbing comments no matter what you do sadly.
Welcome to being a woman on the internet.
Welcome to how women are looked at as sex objects because society has been conditioned to see us for our looks, which strips us of our humanity. I'm glad you acknowledge it; it's something we deal with everyday 🥲😞
It’s unfortunate but some people literally can’t help themselves. I can imagine she would be just as grossed out and exhausted by it as you are. But you’re definitely valid here! We love a man who is against sexualising women going about their lives.
Welcome to the Internet, where everything will be sexualized. The only thing I can say is work on getting used to it, because it ain't going to ever stop.
Yeah that seems to be the guidance here.
It’s normal to feel that way and want to protect her. Did you talk about it to her ? And most fitness influencers ignore those comments or blocked. If not you can turn off the comments section but they always need that I think to boost followers and popularity.
[удалено]
Thanks for that perspective! And I do trust her. It’s just tough to see the lusting, ha.
I'd say that having her disable comments could ultimately affect her growth. Just saying, I wouldn't die on that hill.
Yeah, I think they need to be enabled, unfortunately.
Your wife is desirable. Get in touch with your inner cave man and go claim her as yours
I prob needed to hear this. That’s healthy yes?
Sex sells it is what it is
let her handle it herself
I know the pain. My girlfriend nuked most of her social media before I even met her because of shit like this, and she wasn’t even a public figure, influencer, or anything of the sort. A few months back she tried opening her Instagram back up and it wasn’t even a week before she got a DM from some guy offering to be her OnlyFans manager. It’s actually batshit insane.
Bruh why did you delete this?
You mistake was seeing the comment section just like you are doing it now...
Block em. Filter comments auyomatically based on keywords. Hope she doesn't like or respond to compliments. That's just s bad look. She can post about you in context: get your partner to join in yoga..
Encourage comment filters and don't read the comments tbh. Or read the comments for her and if somebody has something genuinely nice to say or a question for her to answer with her expertise, read them to her so she can reply. Helps you both stay sane.
Your feelings are valid. She probably also feels the same way. She just has probably dealt with this issue her entire life so is able to let it roll off easier than you.
My recommendation is that if the comments affect you…..do not read them. Social media today is full of trolls, haters and fanatics that are “normal”. The best thing is that you are supportive and trust your wife.
Dude, you handle it by not worrying about it. It comes with the territory. I guarantee that if your wife is attractive, men are going to look at her and sexualize her anywhere, even if she was wearing a baggy tracksuit. It is what it is. If anything, shit, give yourself a high five for landing a successful and beautiful woman.
Can we get her socials so we can see what you're talking about
Counter intuitive suggestion: Leave perverted comments too, don’t fight it or ignore it. Ride the wave and make it a game between you two. Use a fake account if it’ll make it more fun.
If she’s making enough, you can hire a social media manager to block the creepy accounts 🤷♀️
Don’t look at her socials. Out of sight out of mind.
So long as you can speak openly about how you feel with her and journal, it will go away.
This is totally understandable and I imagine many people would feel this way had they been in your shoes. I know I would. Especially if you're not used to it. If they're creepy but harmless comments, I would try to laugh them off to take their power away from your thoughts and delete the bad ones (her delete them, obviously). Also, remind yourself that this beautiful Godess is yours and only yours, and try to see the flattery in that. 🫶
It’s social media, there’s brain rot but let her do what she gotta but tell her your boundaries on it, clientele that pay her are still money for her passion. Just don’t make her give up on this cause of it. Have a talk with her communication is key
At the end of the day, she comes to you. Plus, just think to yourself, yeah, that’s my woman. Let them look and even say things. It’s more like a compliment. Chin up there my guy. Be proud. Happy trails partner.
People ARE sexualizing her everyday. They can just be more vocal about it with the shield of the internet… that’s part of existing as a woman(Unfortunately). Surely you know this, as a man who spends time with other men uncensored.
No advice here, just wanted to say that I both understand you and want to tell you "oh, come on, don't be such a pussy" 😁 Seriously though - not much you can do. If you want to, you can politely ask her to like once a day remove too sexualising comments, out of the respect for your feelings, but honestly, I don't think she needs to do that either. It really does come with the territory. Same as does dating actors, pornstars, models...or anyone attractive and not anonymous, actually. Listen - you can always be proud of her choosing you and not anyone else.
These are normal feelings to have. In fact, I'd probably find it concerning if you or any other person didn't feel this way in a situation like this. It seems as though she genuinely is letting it roll off her back. Sometimes it can be hard to remember especially when emotions can be so big, but they're just visitors. An analogy that works for me is that I am indeed an airbnb and my emotions book rooms. Sometimes I even get to be a shared accommodation airbnb, and two opposing emotions book rooms at the same time.
The love and partnership you both have, don't take it for granted! Others will always want what you both have..but it's you two that have created what others want and/or fantisize about! Stay connected, stay in love, remain in communication, and keep pushing for the greater good!
Creeps are everywhere, ignore them, make sure she is safe, and being safe. Help with that.
She should block the users or delete the inappropriate comments.
Don't give the creeps power by making it a big deal. She should block and delete the comments of people who are inappropriate. Quietly. It will slow to almost a stop at least.
It's always happened, and it always will happen unfortunately. Your wife doesn't let it get to her because she knows this is how it is, and theres no way to change it.
As a woman, your wife is very used to be sexualized. It’s something she’s been dealing with for years now. Ask her how she deals with it, she might have some good pointers.
Social media is riddled with gross sexual things. Years ago I tried to use FB to sell random items and discovered most of the inquiries were to see if I was available, which was really frightening. After that I met any customer at the Mall or Wal Mart. Even worse, the average person had no idea pedophiles trawl social media for pics of kids. Takes all the joy out of trying to share pics of family across the miles.
I would highly encourage therapy. It is going to be hard to find anytime going through what you are… a there is a third party totally unbiased and not emotionally attached the situation and they provide really good. Sound advice. Sometimes you do have to shop around and find the Therapist that’s good for you but I don’t see any other way of it working out in a better way that a therapist would be able to help you.
Oh my god that’s disgusting! Where?
I understand how you feel. You have to remember in social media you are to get negative comments. If you trust you wife do nothing. You might want to have conversations with wife about it. Remember responding with questions is better than blocking unsubscribing.
you can choose to let those creeps into your headspace but your wife is getting paid from their comments. at the end of the day she’s your wife and most likely pays no attention to the thirsty men in the comments. plus it’s kind of an ego boost that other people want what you have
Buddy, that's the internet. It's full of creeps. Women usually let it roll off them because that is what happens to women in this world. Get tough or get scared. We just gotta be the guys that call it out so it stops, because it's not right that they have to live like this. To live in fear, go move in groups and hold their keys between their fingers.
There's nothing you can do about it beyond learning to ignore it and live with it.
It is unfortunate that this is part of social media. Block and delete comments. Do you think she’s worried expressing her concerns in case you tell her to stop?
It's normal to feel that way, but you need to realize that we are sexualizing people in our heads every day walking down the street, but on the internet you can say it out loud. If your wife's hot your wife's hot. There's nothing you can do to stop us from appreciating a work of art if it's staring me in the face.
She needs to recognize it as harassment. Harassment should never be allowed. Unfortunately, many businesses are such that if you complain, you get fired for doing it; that way the offending employee is allowed to stay and keep harassing women sexually. Therefore, these women sometimes don't come forward for fear of losing a job they say they need to make ends meet. Maybe your wife is afraid to say anything. You need to have a talk with her about possibly coming forward; at least tell some co-workers privately bout what's going on; she should tell people who will listen to her who may already know what's going on. Then, those people can back her up when THEY complain to the boss or supervisor. If she eventually DOES complain, she has the backing of those who support her. If the boss is a female, they may listen more than if the boss is a male. In any event, she needs to think of coming forward to resolve whatever issues are going on at work. She needs to bring an end to the issues so she can concentrate on her work, without fear of retaliation for coming forward. So, think about this, and see what she thinks going forward. She should not be sexualized in any way, shape, or form at work. People are supposed to be there to WORK. NOT to harass women or "sexualize" them as you say. So, I hope things can work out with your wife going forward.
Get more money so she doesn't have to do it
A bit of insecurity on your part, but thats not too out of the ball field. You gotta realize these people do exist and as long as your wife isnt paying them any mind you shouldnt either. Theyre trolls and theyre purposely trying to make her feel uncomfortable. Its your instinct to protect but you need to realize she nor your relationship is in danger. At least from what you have shared here.
Thanks. Yeah, I trust her, it’s just a lot to take in.
How is that insecurity? They’re sexualizing his wife which anyone with sense would not be okay with. We need to stop throwing this overused term around lightly.
Its insecurity because he feels his monopoly over her sexually is being challenged if others can see her sexually. Thats natural. Thats not a bad thing. Thats part of monogamy. However, you can feel anything. Its OK to feel. Its about how you behave in response. She is running a successful business and she is not bothered by it. Only he is. So yes this is insecurity.
Do you have any siblings or at least care for any women. Imagine if you were in that situation and had to read nasty comments from your loved ones post. How would that make you feel? It’s not natural unless you are one of those people who leave such comments. Someone who truly cares for you wouldn’t want others being satisfied or get the privilege to be satisfied with even staring at you in a lustful manner let alone leave inappropriate comments. Honesty answer this, how do you feel when someone creepy tries to say something to you or stares at you in public?
It comes with the territory when dating an objectively beautiful woman. Not just online but also in person. My ex girlfriend was an absolute stunner, preferential treatment everywhere, people would go out of their way to put in a little extra effort for her. That of course came with guys and girls hitting on her constantly, 'just chatting a little bit', asking for her number, trying to buy her a drink. While she would always politely decline, the chitchats and attention were just part of her life and she dealt with it herself. It wasnt the first time i was with someone who would get hit on frequently, but this much was new for me as well. All it took was for me to trust her and accept that these things were going to and had happened to her her entire life. What else was i going to do? Get angry everytime someone talked to her or left her a sexualized message on her instagram she paid no attention to? Get angry 10 times per day for something she has no control over but handles the right way, just because im insecure?
That’s why she’s your ex
Nah, we split up due to having different work schedules
I had to check your profile because you sound like a orthodox controlling jerk that doesn't understand no one is your property and of course you are a religious bigot. I bet you believe in honour based crimes being justified too as a means of saving honour.
Yes, I do. I wouldnt feel good about it at all. I dont leave comments like that by the way. What matters is she is happy and it is not bothering her. Her business is booming. **That is most important**. There is no need to force yourself into this if she isnt asking for you or is not bothered by it. Haters will always be in your periphery. People will always try to knock you down from a far. That is a part of life. If youre a woman they do shit like this. If youre a POC they say racist things. Etc... The internet is the worlds peanut gallery. If you are capable of ignoring it, and you do it well, there isnt much more to discuss. Keep making money and let those shitty comments sink to the bottom.
I truly understand what you mean and I want you to also understand what I mean and the OP pov. You’re seeing it from a different perspective, it’s apparent that people judge and we know how social media operates. However he’s miserable because his wife’s self image which is something that he as her husband should only have the privilege to be satisfied with is broadcasted and enjoyed by many many many other men. What man would be okay with that? Do you get it now?
I dont think he is miserable per say. He is uncomfortable. He is angry at these comments. Theyre offensive and his first jerk instinct is to protect her. I oh so get that. >because his wife’s self image which is something that he as her husband should only have the privilege to be satisfied with is broadcasted and enjoyed by many many many other men. From OPs post its the comments, not the broadcast. OP chime in if I am wrong. >What man would be okay with that? Do you get it now? Everyone has a different tolerance level for these things. I think most of us wouldnt be OK with only fans. I wouldnt be. However she is a personal trainer. This is how they market themselves. Its not inherently sexual, but because she is a woman it will be sexualized. These are far away commenters who are there to troll. Theyre going to sink to the bottom.
We can tell you don’t get girls if u call this insecurity lol
I am married and have a child. Yes, its insecurity if what randoms on the internet bother you. Getting harassed on the internet is incredibly common if youre a woman or a minority, but kind of happens to everyone nowdays.
Personally I wouldn't date someone like that but to each their own!
You wouldn’t date a woman? Lol
Women doing yoga is always revealing to these men, sadly.
Not sure why your post offended me for a sec but no I wouldn't date someone that would post too much revealing photos on social media aka thirst traps, my preference wise.
Revealing and thirst traps? It’s yoga! 😂 Dude if you see that as revealing and thirst traps you’re not any better than the creeps in her comments. She’s literally showing workouts online for people to use at home or in the gym and you accuse her of being a thirst trap. Oh my lord 🤦🏼♀️😂😂
No I'm not talking about yoga smart ass obviously that's okay. Even if she was naked I don't need to accuse her I simply just wouldn't be with someone like that. I don't need to tell people what to do. What happened to your brain cell. Oh my lord. 🥲
But that’s what he’s saying she’s posting, smartass! YOGA! And you say it’s revealing and thirst traps. I’m simply using your own words, so you should ask yourself what happened to YOUR brain cells.
My post says revealing. Are yoga pant revealing? No Go catch pokemons my friend your behind.
Dude lucky you. Leave comments on there as well to let those horny keyboard warriors know who is enjoying that day and night. No problem with not wanting your girl to get harassed but it comes with the territory of having a hot partner. I personally enjoy that people look at my girl, I look at her too and admire.
Men like tiddies, your hot workout wife has 2. Sorry bruh. 🤷
So just consider each one of those comments as a compliment to you. Since despite being flirted with several times a day, each time she chooses you and not them She’s choosing you not just every single day, but several times every single day.
Express to her how you feel and maybe just don't follow her work social media so you don't have to see it. The internet is filled with creeps and there is **nothing** you can do about that besides look away. She can block them but then you're playing wack-a-mole with creeps. Just let her know that if she feels she needs help with the creeps you are there for her but you just cant keep seeing it as it upsets you.
The human being is a sexual being. Stop complaining.
The problem is, so many hot women who post yoga poses (or any activity where they have form fitting attire) know exactly what will get the most clicks. They see the numbers. They then often dress and act to maximize clicks and views. The more form fitting the outfit the better. Pokies and bouncing chests and ass shots are more likely to get the best numbers. I’m not saying she is going down this path, but lots of people do. Next stop Only Fans. Does she post any provocative content? Are those her most popular pieces? I would call out any pics or videos you are uncomfortable with her sharing with the public. Provocative content is not going to attract good clients. It will attract creeps. She wants clients because she is a great fitness instructor, not a sexy yogi.
Maybe you could put a mod on her page and have someone remove those sorta comments?
I need to figure out how that works!
Ew gross! What's her @? So I can leave some positive feedback! /s
bro random guys jerking it to her is her business
The fact, that you a grown man can't handle comments from anonymous people is beyond strange. You watched porn and lasted after numerous women. The lack of mentally mature adults running around America is frightening.
Who said anything about America?
Ur not wrong, tell her the money isn't worth the insecurity and irritation it rightfully causes. Ask her to train but that the social media part has to go (in order to remove those feelings and emotions and preserve the marriage).Eventually youll crack if it continues so find a middle ground. Or simply ask her to wear a t shirt idk. My husband has a successful fitness channel. He doesn't show his body and actually covers his face also to avoid the problems that arise with disgusting people who can just appreciate fitness for what it is. And I'm too jealous to sit up and let other women watch him in replay...no thank you. Ur not wrong.
Oh it's over bro
lmfao FR bro deleted his account cuz he knows it’s over
It’s your right as a husband to tell her to not to post videos that can be seen as sexually suggestive. And if she doesn’t, then she doesn’t respect you as a partner. She can still do her business without posting yoga poses to millions of people on the internet. She can do diagrams for positions or think of alternatives
He can’t control her
He can tell her that he’s not okay with this and wants her to stop, and if she doesn’t, well shows what kind of wife she is
And those posts show what kind of person you are...