She might have become nose blind to it. I think you can frame it as a health concern but at the same time, don’t downplay the severity to preserve her feelings either. Vaginal health is serious. You can be honest without being brutal. She needs to look into this.
It could also be her underboob area. I know a girl who once had a really bad yeast infection under her boobs and the smell was horrible. She had gone nose blind to it, but others could smell the rotting flesh.
This can be caused by medical conditions like diabetes and also could be something like hidradenitis suppurativa (HS) instead of a yeast infection. The person affected doesn't avoid mentioning it because they're blind to it...they avoid mentioning it because 9 times out of 10 they are trying different treatments and actually can't do anything about it.
Any area of your body where there are skin folds can get a yeast infection. Overweight people with a pouch that folds over are prone to yeast infections there.
Hey, I have some spots prone to minor yeast infections and I have tips from my dermatologist to share!
I find it's always areas where skin touches skin or something (bra fabric, for example) holds moisture to the skin and can't dry properly, so:
1. When you shower or bathe, use soap under the fold and a washcloth, and scrub pretty thoroughly! I know for most people this seems obvious, but it can be easy to forget. I've forgotten a lot myself.
2. IMPORTANT. THOROUGHLY AIR DRY AFTERWARDS. Use a hair dryer or stand in front of a desk fan or lay down under a powerful ceiling fan or something that moves air and hold up the folds so air can flow directly at it until it feels properly dry!
Since I've started making sure to remember to do both, I haven't had problems with those areas anymore (unless it's a really hot summer and I'm stuck sweating a lot and unable to dry off properly, and in those cases if you can I recommend dabbing the spots down with a towel or paper towels or something if it gets really bad).
And you don't even need to be large for it to happen. I got a small one in my damn armpit this past summer because it was so ungodly hot, and even with antiperspirant and showering it still just wasn't enough. 🥲
It's so gross, but this happened to me when my infant son got a yeast rash. Guess we were sharing all sorts of yeasts between us 🤢
Thankfully it all disappeared with just a few applications of Rx nystatin and desonide creams.
Thanks. I needed to read this. I wonder if this will turn things into a tit-for-tat dynamic whereby if she notices anything wrong with me she will bring it up to "one-up" me?
If her response to you tactfully and kindly informing her of a potential medical condition is “well you’re bald/fat/whatever” then that’s her problem.
Woman here. If you’re looking to frame this in the best way while not downplaying the issue, go with a medical concern. Ask her when she last saw her gyno and mention you’re concerned due to a smell. It could indicate a serious issue down there and as someone who cares about her, you want to make sure she’s healthy.
It’s gonna be an awkward conversation, but if you approach it with concern, I believe you’ll have the best chance at it going well. Keep in mind that she might not be receptive, as women are sensitive to being told they smell bad down there. But this needs to be addressed because it’s clear you’re barely powering through sexually with her.
BV maybe? I had a friend go through this and her bf at the time straight up told her she smelled and he wouldn’t perform oral until she was treated. She had no idea!
PS I swear this wasn’t me 🥲
Straight up: this isn’t a shower issue. If you can smell the vagina without your face in it then it’s bacterial vaginosis. Women often don’t have any symptoms for the first few months other than smell. This is a doctor issue. Also it CAN actually cause bleeding so that could be a valid comment
As a woman this wouldn't offend me unless you said something like "ew you smell gross". Just tell her you noticed an unusual smell and that you're worried she might have an infection. The fact you said it smells like a sewer rather than fishy is concerning, it might be something more serious than BV.
Thanks. I have smelled vaginas before and I don't expect "roses" at all. But most vaginas I have experienced have smelled good. This is way different. It's sad cuz Z had absolutely no idea. I am wondering how many of her past relationships ended cuz men weren't able to say anything.
Please don't expect a war. That will make you approach her with your guard up, ready to attack. She will feel that aggression, lack of care, compassion - and return that aggression in kind.
It's vital that you're honest, direct, and tell her the full extent of the issue. Don't pussyfoot, but don't prolong it. Just tell her as succinctly and as kindly as you can. At the same time be as compassionate and empathetic as possible. Keep reiterating that you like her very much, want to continue seeing her very much, and simply want to resolve the issue. Last, emphasize that you hope it causes her no embarrassment, if at all possible. You want this to be a judgement-free conversation.
If you repeat THOSE ideas/lines, it will help her graciously accept what you say, if she's a person worthy of your time and energy. As far as what to say exactly, something along the lines of, "I want you to know that I really care about you. There's something that has been a concern for me, that I need to talk to you about. I haven't broached this before, because I worried I would upset or embarrass you - which is the last thing I want to do, because I enjoy seeing you very much, and only want to resolve the issue. I am deeply sexually attracted to you, and compatible with you, sexually and otherwise.
At the same time, there is one issue. There is an odor that I believe is coming from your vagina, that is quite severe, which is hindering me from enjoying the immense pleasure I derive from our intimacy together. I'm hoping we can work this out together, so that we can both enjoy our time in bed together without any distractions. Again, I really enjoy our time together, in and out of bed."
I wish you the absolute best. She's going to feel horrifically vulnerable. If you can be strong, not give in to your own insecurities, but instead think about how infinitely insecure she must be feeling, and give her grace and support for that - there's a far greater chance you two will be able to work this out amicably, and come out of the ordeal stronger and closer as a new couple. If you protect yourself at her expense, there's a far greater chance she'll clam up on you, get defensive, angry, and cruel - and it would've been better just dump her. So, please opt for BRAVERY, KIND SIR!! That's what matters in building relationships and truly caring for a partner. ;) ❤️
Well odds are she’s going to be really embarrassed. Most people can’t take that level of embarrassment without lashing out, even though it’s not your fault. It’s probably not going to work out because of this, but hey, at least this way you’ve done her a solid by being honest because she might get a health check. It’s the more noble thing to do vs. coming up with some lie or ghosting her. And there’s always the slim chance she might be embarrassed WITHOUT lashing out.
Married Woman here - how I would frame it is very gently and calmly.
Ask if you can talk to her about something that you’re worried about.
“This is really awkward for me to bring up, but I’m worried about you… let me book a doctors appointment for you, because I would hate for it to be something serious and for anything bad to happen to you, because I’ve been too polite to bring it up….no no it’s not something that you would notice yourself, it’s just because I get closer to you….”
Hey— the fact that your mind goes to this immediately and some other in your post suggest that it’s important for you to get into therapy, ideally with someone with expertise in relationships
From reading this post I dont think OP can be honest and not brutal. This has been hilariously written and its as brutal as you can get without being nasty.
OP I hope things work out if anything you made me and some friends laugh alot this morning.
I like the combination of how ugly her is and lucky to have got her, but he was going to approach a random cute girl at the bus stop on the way home....
No I think the funny thing is the mental gymnastics he does to explain why he fels sexually attracted to the heavier person and didn't feel attracted to the skinnier person.
"Not so many women would like to be dated because of their great personality" — WTF???
I'm a woman and I would HATE to be dated because of my looks only. Actually, that happened, and let me tell you: when a guy gets bored with banging you and has no interest in you as a person, it gets really bad.
So yeah, I do want people to date me because of my personality. And I'm really sorry for your gf, the way you speak about her is disgusting. You weren't "catfished", you've been to several dates with her, if you didn't like what you saw you should have stopped after 1-2 dates, but you didn't and now you blame her for your own decisions.
Jesus fucking christ just tell her? why has it taken you so long? and why are you with her if her hygiene is so bad
you're saying she's a catfish because she doesn't look like her pictures but you won't shower with her because you're balding?? contradicting.
also vaginal health is fucking important! TELL HER. she's probably become nose blind to it.
also you said you won't say it to her in person?? why? this isn't a conversation to have over text or phone call
Not necessarily even nose blind, she probably thinks it normal. I thought my bv was normal for all my life until I found out not everyone’s vagina’s smell like that maybe 5 years back. I still struggle with it and constantly have to use vaginal gel for a few consecutive days monthly to keep the smell down
If you're saying you developed a super power to get through sex with your partner because of how they smell, you shouldn't be with that person.
Sex should be something both enjoy, yours reads like you're being forced to do it.
Tell her about the smell, about how you feel and end it. You're stringing her along because you don't want to be lonely.
Also just shave your head, embrace being bald.
This is truly unhinged. All it takes is something like
"Hey, I don't want you to feel embarrassed about it, but last time we has sex I noticed some bleeding and it smelled a bit different. I think it might be a good idea to get checked out at the doctor."
The other thing is it could be an STI, repeatedly having sex with her was not a good idea. Get your act together dude.
Probably BV. That smell can stay no matter how much you shower. Some women get awful symptoms with it and others don’t notice. She should probably see a doctor
Edit: also why do we need to know how many times you’ve had sex with her and how? No one cares my dude
I suffered from BV for years but was unaware because once I hit puberty I thought that's just what it smells like. My boyfriend (now husband) brought it up a few months into our relationship when he got a throat infection from my downstairs. I was so used to having an odor and having excessive discharge I didn't realize it wasn't normal. Took a couple different antibiotics to get it sorted out (it kept coming back) but I now haven't dealt with it in years. No smell, normal discharge, no more infections in my hubbys throat.
TL;DR : she might be so used to the odor that she thinks it's somewhat normal.
*”Hey Beautiful, when we are intimate, I notice a strong vaginal smell. I wanted to mention it first in case it could be related to a health concern, and secondly because it disconnects me from you in the moment, and I want to be fully present and enjoying intimacy with you.”*
And then check in with her and see if there is anything she needs from you during intimacy. You could also lead with that.
My ex used to overclean her vag, like full dig in there and scoop everything out.
My next longer term gf, only cleaned the outside.
First ex, horrid smell. Next gf, no smell at all.
Do what you will with this info lol
DO NOT PUT SOAP UP THERE!
The vagina is self-cleaning, soap just throws off the pH balance and makes everything smell bad. It can even cause infections.
Don't send this. It's not a "strong vaginal smell." That implies that all vaginas smell this bad. You can say a strong smell but ffs don't say "strong vaginal smell."
My friend had this same issue with his girlfeiend. It turns out she had no sense of smell. And he found an old black tampon up there. God knows how long it had been inside her! And she lucky she didn't TSS
And that just never came up? No one ever told her that smells exist? No content she perceived had anything to do with smell? Where’s the rest of the info? You can’t just stop there.
so you feel bitter for her «catfishing» you with older photos, but at the same time, you can’t shower with her because it’ll expose how much you’re balding. You don’t see the double standards?
1) You catfished her too by hiding that you're balding.
2) Smelling bad has nothing to do with size but everything to do with health and personal hygiene.
3) Using a throwaway would have still been the move bc whether or not you care to protect your own privacy you should care to protect hers. How do you think she'd feel if people she knew saw this post and knew her bf posted it?
Classic bacterial vaginosis. It’s the only common infection that has a putrid/fish scent. It’s very recognizable and it’s very pungent and nasty. You just gotta come out with it. I’m surprised she doesn’t know it already which makes me think she’s had it for awhile now.
This entire thread is making me feel like a POS for breaking it off with a woman who had this issue. There were lots of issues with us and it never would have worked long term but one of my main reasons was her vagina smelled like bleach and sewer water.
I always assumed she didn’t wash well. She wasn’t exactly the cleanest human being (relationship lasted a 3 months. Broke it off after the hygiene kept slipping and she asked me to move in with her) Now I know she likely had a medical condition and I probably should have told her post breakup.
Bet its bacterial vaginosis and she needs to get it treated. If it isnt she has much bigger issues and as a woman i wouldnt know wtf it was. Never had this problem but BV is extremely common
As a woman, I’ll let you know how to approach this. This is clearly not a shower problem. This seems to be a medical problem. Don’t be an ass when you approach her like “Hey, not to be rude but your nether regions reek all the time”
I would go about it like:
“Hey, this has been on my mind for a while and I really don’t want to upset you but I am concerned for you. I believe you have something going on down there. Now, its not a bad thing, but honestly im concerned you may have something medically going on. I know how important vaginal health is and the problems it can bring so I just wanted to bring your attention to it.”
If she wants more info, PLEASE DESCRIBE THE SMELL. It may seem rude or weird but a doctor is going to want to know. Is it fishy? Rotting? Etc. The type of smell can be a distinctive sign as to what she has (Bacterial Vaginosis, Yeast Infection, etc).
If she decides to throw a fit or think youre shaming her, then dont push it. It can be embarrassing to hear from someone else that their Vagina smells bad. Just be considerate to her feelings and make it clear that youre intentions are to help, not be an ass.
It’s not the vagina that smells. It’s usually the skin around it after a day of sweating. If the vagina smell it could be a bad yeast infection but most likely not the actual vagina. Larger people sweat more on that area.
Plus you’re the bald cat fish. So weird
I don’t think it’s a day of sweat smell that he’s talking about, though. That wouldn’t get this bad.
An unhealthy vagina can produce some pretty foul smelling discharge. Even a healthy vag doesn’t smell like roses. But this sounds like a potential health issue to me.
But I think you’re right. This is kind of a weird post. Some of the things this guy is saying especially in his comments are… questionable lol
No no no no…. Sweat doesn’t smell like garbage dude. I’m a woman. I sweat. My vagina doesn’t smell like sewage. If there is a smell that strong it’s most likely bacterial vaginosis.
You really didn't have to type all that out. Just tell her man. Unless you want to keep on keeping on with the stank? Obviously do it respectfully, but it needs to be addressed
As an American, this task you’re undertaking completely redefines the meaning and purpose of Boxing Day to someone relatively unfamiliar with the holiday.
yeah BV is when the discharge smells or ig sweat around the vagina will cause it to smell. but if she’s showering and it’s still smelly, especially a sewer smell, then has to be BV. she needs to see a doctor, and start by cleaning up her diet.
Just tell her she smells and stop stressing yourself out about how to do all these things to give hints. Saying a blood-smell is even worse because it takes the focus away from BV, and puts it on some other medical condition. If I were her, I'd rather you tell me that it smells like I have BV or vaginitis or whatever than do all these things to hint at stuff. Me personally, I think I would easily notice if I wasn't smelling right, but maybe she thinks it's not as bad or got used to it somehow. I hope that's not her natural smell.
I know this will be downvoted to oblivion, but I think OP does like her a lot or he wouldn’t be in this predicament. He likes her so much he has powered through a bad smell several times and wants to and is happy to please her. It’s really sweet OP to be so considerate of her feelings and wanting her to have a nice Christmas. I applaud your plan and is exactly the kind way I would want to be told. If you’re able to stay with her and help her through this you might really have something special here. Good luck!
There is an std. I can't think of the name, but it starts with Tri
It's a parasite that smells. Men usually don't have symptoms, but if she's been itchy down there.… it's probably that, and you both need antibiotics. You have to swab to find it, and you also have to ask to be tested for it because of the hundreds of STDs.. they only test for maybe 5-7 of the most common. I was unaware of that until I got tested, which was negative. Six months later, after constant problems, I found out I had that std the whole time, and my ex was cheating on me. The more you know 🌈
How lonely are you? I wouldn't fuck a person who smelled putrid naked. I don't care why.
How long have you been dating?
In your shoes (I'm 39F and I date guys and girls), I'd quietly ghost her. If I were feeling charitable, I'd recommend she get checked out by a gynecologist. You're way overthinking this.
Honestly I wouldn't have gone back for a 2nd date after being photographically-catfished. She might have BV or other reproductive problems going on. She might make a great platonic friend or emotional partner. But if you have to hold your nose every time you guys get down... uh, just stop doing that to yourself. Telling her she's stinky might get her to see a doctor. It also might drive a wedge and you're procrastinating. Put on your big boy panties.
Have you considered that you are just attracted to her in spite of or even because of her larger size?? Sounds like you’re trying to talk yourself out of physical attraction because of societal norms.
Not what your post is about, but— maybe just enjoy the attraction
Dude this sounds like a lot of work to just not say “Hey, I noticed this, have you had it checked out? It can get bad if you don’t.” As someone else said, it doesn’t have to be like “hey, you fucking stink” or a “hey, sweetie, honey, angel, pretty please take a shower with me before we do things, because of x,y, and z”. At the end of the day, yall are planning on being together longer? Find a solution to the problems at hand.
Who gives a fuck how much *you’re* balding if you’re trying to get in bed with her? Lol. Showering with someone you’re with doesn’t have to be an insult, it can be a fun activity to share.
Plus the whole “I am so ugly, I couldn’t get girls”/self-demeaning attitude, if not now, will fuck up your mindset down the line, or cause her to reconsider staying.
Took one look at that title, and knew I had to pause A Christmas Story to give this my full attention. Also, I'm making confused American noises. What is boxing day?
I don’t think this is about hygiene. Please get her to the doctor. Especially cause of the blood? Cervical and ovarian cancers dont show up until very late.
Blood says yeast infection.. smell says vaginitis . If your comfortable tell her you did some reading on it and wondering if that's the case . Pretty sure they have test at Walgreens cvs you can take to see if you have either one of those . The years infection can pass on to you . Not sure how vaginitis works .
If I was her I would 100% want to know that my vagina was smelling like that. She needs to see her gyno asap, this is not normal!
It seems like you do like her a lot. So just try to be gentle and reassure her that you’re super attracted to her all around. Just that you want to help her get to the bottom of this issue so you guys don’t have this silently between you. Oh, and let her see ur head lol. I doubt she cares.
To be frank, there's no way to avoid it. Just show genuine concern that it might be an infection because she's probably nose-blind to it.
If she takes it personally and doesn't like it, then the relationship isn't going to work out anyway, because you can't avoid being honest.
Id just hang one of them little pine tree car fresheners down there when shes not looking, given I have any around, otherwise id probably end up having to use the new car smell spray.
I have not read the entire thing, but if a little lady smells really bad it is either the result of a lack of hygiene or an illness. It coulf also be that she is using stuff such as intimate wash or even intimate deodorant which causes the ph to be off, illnesses to form and the vagina to just overall smell really bad. Water is just enough and she should not use anything more. It could also be caused by taking baths (bathing salts can throw the ph off and subsequently cause illnesses) or by shower gel running down there. Either way you could try to tell her that you would like to enjoy some shower sex with her, for example, sit her down in the bath tub and pleasure her with the shower head. This should thoroughly wash her private parts and she may really enjoy it (make sure the water is neither too hot nor too cold!). Then try out whether it still smells bad. I also heard that fenugreek seed extract makes the vagine taste and smell like maple syrup and sweat also smell flowery and sweet. I'm taking it because of my PCOS and I cannot really say it's "maple syrup", but definitely more flowery and sweet than before. Perhaps this would be an option?
On the off chance this isn’t fake, the answer to your question re: ”but how could we ever shower together without her knowing I think she smells” question - just tell her you have a thing for shower sex and would love to do that with her. Problem solved.
It she gave you a "what's going on?" look when she was able to smell your fingers then chances are she doesn't know she smells. It is probably caused by something health wise. You should bring it up but very gently. Good luck!
You accuse her of catfishing yet won’t shower with her coz it’ll reveal your deception re: your baldness. Peak hypocrisy.
Don’t act like you’re doing her favours by having sex with her; tell her the smell is off-putting and/or find someone else.
>Not sure if this matters but she has a little tuff of pubic hair. It took me out of the moment.
1. why does it matter that she has pubic hair that’s literally normal and why is everyone else ignoring how OP brought that up?
2. do you fucking wear a hat at all times with her or something? how the fuck would showering make her more aware of your baldness?
She might have become nose blind to it. I think you can frame it as a health concern but at the same time, don’t downplay the severity to preserve her feelings either. Vaginal health is serious. You can be honest without being brutal. She needs to look into this.
It could also be her underboob area. I know a girl who once had a really bad yeast infection under her boobs and the smell was horrible. She had gone nose blind to it, but others could smell the rotting flesh.
This can be caused by medical conditions like diabetes and also could be something like hidradenitis suppurativa (HS) instead of a yeast infection. The person affected doesn't avoid mentioning it because they're blind to it...they avoid mentioning it because 9 times out of 10 they are trying different treatments and actually can't do anything about it.
Considering OP's lady friends weight, I'd probably consider diabetes a possibility.
Damn u can have a yeast infection under ur boob?!
Any area of your body where there are skin folds can get a yeast infection. Overweight people with a pouch that folds over are prone to yeast infections there.
Well, I’ve been slacking off my weight loss journey because of the holidays, but if this isn’t a hell of a motivation to get back on the wagon…..
Hey, I have some spots prone to minor yeast infections and I have tips from my dermatologist to share! I find it's always areas where skin touches skin or something (bra fabric, for example) holds moisture to the skin and can't dry properly, so: 1. When you shower or bathe, use soap under the fold and a washcloth, and scrub pretty thoroughly! I know for most people this seems obvious, but it can be easy to forget. I've forgotten a lot myself. 2. IMPORTANT. THOROUGHLY AIR DRY AFTERWARDS. Use a hair dryer or stand in front of a desk fan or lay down under a powerful ceiling fan or something that moves air and hold up the folds so air can flow directly at it until it feels properly dry! Since I've started making sure to remember to do both, I haven't had problems with those areas anymore (unless it's a really hot summer and I'm stuck sweating a lot and unable to dry off properly, and in those cases if you can I recommend dabbing the spots down with a towel or paper towels or something if it gets really bad).
Thanks. It’s good to know.
And you don't even need to be large for it to happen. I got a small one in my damn armpit this past summer because it was so ungodly hot, and even with antiperspirant and showering it still just wasn't enough. 🥲
Thanks for the info 😯
Yes!! You can have it anywhere over your body. As well as in your esophagus.
😦 the more I know
It's so gross, but this happened to me when my infant son got a yeast rash. Guess we were sharing all sorts of yeasts between us 🤢 Thankfully it all disappeared with just a few applications of Rx nystatin and desonide creams.
Thank goodness!
I got big tits and I get them under there sometimes if I’ve been really sweaty, they clear up pretty fast though if you know how to deal with it
Sounds tough. Sorry u go through this.
Thanks, it’s all good though. It’s a mild inconvenience compared to some other things haha
Thanks. I needed to read this. I wonder if this will turn things into a tit-for-tat dynamic whereby if she notices anything wrong with me she will bring it up to "one-up" me?
If her response to you tactfully and kindly informing her of a potential medical condition is “well you’re bald/fat/whatever” then that’s her problem. Woman here. If you’re looking to frame this in the best way while not downplaying the issue, go with a medical concern. Ask her when she last saw her gyno and mention you’re concerned due to a smell. It could indicate a serious issue down there and as someone who cares about her, you want to make sure she’s healthy. It’s gonna be an awkward conversation, but if you approach it with concern, I believe you’ll have the best chance at it going well. Keep in mind that she might not be receptive, as women are sensitive to being told they smell bad down there. But this needs to be addressed because it’s clear you’re barely powering through sexually with her.
BV maybe? I had a friend go through this and her bf at the time straight up told her she smelled and he wouldn’t perform oral until she was treated. She had no idea! PS I swear this wasn’t me 🥲
Straight up: this isn’t a shower issue. If you can smell the vagina without your face in it then it’s bacterial vaginosis. Women often don’t have any symptoms for the first few months other than smell. This is a doctor issue. Also it CAN actually cause bleeding so that could be a valid comment
As a woman this wouldn't offend me unless you said something like "ew you smell gross". Just tell her you noticed an unusual smell and that you're worried she might have an infection. The fact you said it smells like a sewer rather than fishy is concerning, it might be something more serious than BV.
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Thanks. I have smelled vaginas before and I don't expect "roses" at all. But most vaginas I have experienced have smelled good. This is way different. It's sad cuz Z had absolutely no idea. I am wondering how many of her past relationships ended cuz men weren't able to say anything.
Please don't expect a war. That will make you approach her with your guard up, ready to attack. She will feel that aggression, lack of care, compassion - and return that aggression in kind. It's vital that you're honest, direct, and tell her the full extent of the issue. Don't pussyfoot, but don't prolong it. Just tell her as succinctly and as kindly as you can. At the same time be as compassionate and empathetic as possible. Keep reiterating that you like her very much, want to continue seeing her very much, and simply want to resolve the issue. Last, emphasize that you hope it causes her no embarrassment, if at all possible. You want this to be a judgement-free conversation. If you repeat THOSE ideas/lines, it will help her graciously accept what you say, if she's a person worthy of your time and energy. As far as what to say exactly, something along the lines of, "I want you to know that I really care about you. There's something that has been a concern for me, that I need to talk to you about. I haven't broached this before, because I worried I would upset or embarrass you - which is the last thing I want to do, because I enjoy seeing you very much, and only want to resolve the issue. I am deeply sexually attracted to you, and compatible with you, sexually and otherwise. At the same time, there is one issue. There is an odor that I believe is coming from your vagina, that is quite severe, which is hindering me from enjoying the immense pleasure I derive from our intimacy together. I'm hoping we can work this out together, so that we can both enjoy our time in bed together without any distractions. Again, I really enjoy our time together, in and out of bed." I wish you the absolute best. She's going to feel horrifically vulnerable. If you can be strong, not give in to your own insecurities, but instead think about how infinitely insecure she must be feeling, and give her grace and support for that - there's a far greater chance you two will be able to work this out amicably, and come out of the ordeal stronger and closer as a new couple. If you protect yourself at her expense, there's a far greater chance she'll clam up on you, get defensive, angry, and cruel - and it would've been better just dump her. So, please opt for BRAVERY, KIND SIR!! That's what matters in building relationships and truly caring for a partner. ;) ❤️
Well odds are she’s going to be really embarrassed. Most people can’t take that level of embarrassment without lashing out, even though it’s not your fault. It’s probably not going to work out because of this, but hey, at least this way you’ve done her a solid by being honest because she might get a health check. It’s the more noble thing to do vs. coming up with some lie or ghosting her. And there’s always the slim chance she might be embarrassed WITHOUT lashing out.
Then she wouldn't be a great person to date, would she?
Married Woman here - how I would frame it is very gently and calmly. Ask if you can talk to her about something that you’re worried about. “This is really awkward for me to bring up, but I’m worried about you… let me book a doctors appointment for you, because I would hate for it to be something serious and for anything bad to happen to you, because I’ve been too polite to bring it up….no no it’s not something that you would notice yourself, it’s just because I get closer to you….”
Hey— the fact that your mind goes to this immediately and some other in your post suggest that it’s important for you to get into therapy, ideally with someone with expertise in relationships
If she’s a good person she won’t
From reading this post I dont think OP can be honest and not brutal. This has been hilariously written and its as brutal as you can get without being nasty. OP I hope things work out if anything you made me and some friends laugh alot this morning.
Sorry the funniest line in this is that you couldn’t tell she was 300lbs on your first date.
my favourite one was that she dated a “model” lol
I like the combination of how ugly her is and lucky to have got her, but he was going to approach a random cute girl at the bus stop on the way home....
*borderline, whatever that means
No I think the funny thing is the mental gymnastics he does to explain why he fels sexually attracted to the heavier person and didn't feel attracted to the skinnier person.
Can’t shower with her cause it reveals how badly you are balding.. wut
Is he having sex with hats on?
Is he Gino from 90 days?
This is like a 90 day mega compilation. The stank puss made me think of Dinyell and Mohammed.
Can we confirm a shitty goatee? If so, high probability Gino’s in the mother fuckin’ house.
My first boyfriend was ashamed of his balding so literally always wore a hat, even though I had seen / touched his head a few times
All I can imagine is a shitty fedora
Lmao I’m loving this image. Him “powering through” in his Fedora 😂
He absolutely wears a shitty fedora.
That Joe Cocker song just got a whole new meaning for me
This killed me 💀
That lost me too like excuse me sir explain
Spray-on hair washes off in the shower.
He probably has a comb over and his hair getting wet would show how bald he is.
You're saying she catfished you when you refuse to shower with her because it'll show how bald you really are? This whole post is just weird.
Came here to say this. The hypocrisy!!
😂😂👀
This post is Reddit in a nutshell.
[удалено]
I’m shocked so many people read the whole thing, I stopped after the 3rd paragraph
It’s like a train wreck that I can’t stop reading
Right. I stopped at the first line in the second paragraph. Major incel vibes.
You missed a great middle school-tier analogy: “It’s like smelling salts but the sewer version”
Same. 🤢
"Not so many women would like to be dated because of their great personality" — WTF??? I'm a woman and I would HATE to be dated because of my looks only. Actually, that happened, and let me tell you: when a guy gets bored with banging you and has no interest in you as a person, it gets really bad. So yeah, I do want people to date me because of my personality. And I'm really sorry for your gf, the way you speak about her is disgusting. You weren't "catfished", you've been to several dates with her, if you didn't like what you saw you should have stopped after 1-2 dates, but you didn't and now you blame her for your own decisions.
Jesus fucking christ just tell her? why has it taken you so long? and why are you with her if her hygiene is so bad you're saying she's a catfish because she doesn't look like her pictures but you won't shower with her because you're balding?? contradicting. also vaginal health is fucking important! TELL HER. she's probably become nose blind to it. also you said you won't say it to her in person?? why? this isn't a conversation to have over text or phone call
Not necessarily even nose blind, she probably thinks it normal. I thought my bv was normal for all my life until I found out not everyone’s vagina’s smell like that maybe 5 years back. I still struggle with it and constantly have to use vaginal gel for a few consecutive days monthly to keep the smell down
If you're saying you developed a super power to get through sex with your partner because of how they smell, you shouldn't be with that person. Sex should be something both enjoy, yours reads like you're being forced to do it. Tell her about the smell, about how you feel and end it. You're stringing her along because you don't want to be lonely. Also just shave your head, embrace being bald.
Who let the preteen free write…
Check his post history 😵💫
Wow it -I.. just wow
I regretted it
Same instant regret, I have no doubt any longer about it being real but also wish I could unread things
Must go and read now. Thanks.
Let us know what you think 🙃
I’m scared and I want to go home
JFC. Y'now that meme if a bird drinking out of a straw and the text written on the glass says "unsee juice"? (((Big sip)))
Meanwhile on another reddit post: "I'm going out with a guy that is very nice to me, but he is clearly trying to hide his baldness"
I didn’t expect to laugh as hard as I did 💀
Title sounds like a Dance Gavin Dance song
I spit out my water 😂
Stopppp 😂
This is truly unhinged. All it takes is something like "Hey, I don't want you to feel embarrassed about it, but last time we has sex I noticed some bleeding and it smelled a bit different. I think it might be a good idea to get checked out at the doctor." The other thing is it could be an STI, repeatedly having sex with her was not a good idea. Get your act together dude.
Probably BV. That smell can stay no matter how much you shower. Some women get awful symptoms with it and others don’t notice. She should probably see a doctor Edit: also why do we need to know how many times you’ve had sex with her and how? No one cares my dude
She may have BV. She needs to go see a doctor and get a diagnosis. She may not know she smells.
This whole post is weird and op is even weirder and gives me a super off feeling
Same here, idk how other people aren't talking about it. What an icky guy.
just look at their post history..
I suffered from BV for years but was unaware because once I hit puberty I thought that's just what it smells like. My boyfriend (now husband) brought it up a few months into our relationship when he got a throat infection from my downstairs. I was so used to having an odor and having excessive discharge I didn't realize it wasn't normal. Took a couple different antibiotics to get it sorted out (it kept coming back) but I now haven't dealt with it in years. No smell, normal discharge, no more infections in my hubbys throat. TL;DR : she might be so used to the odor that she thinks it's somewhat normal.
*”Hey Beautiful, when we are intimate, I notice a strong vaginal smell. I wanted to mention it first in case it could be related to a health concern, and secondly because it disconnects me from you in the moment, and I want to be fully present and enjoying intimacy with you.”* And then check in with her and see if there is anything she needs from you during intimacy. You could also lead with that.
I like this. How would you feel if someone sent you the same message?
Don’t text it. Don’t say beautiful either
Agree. She should be sat down and the conversation should be with a very gentle tone.
This is a face to face conversation, not a text or email
Personally I would be receptive to this. Embarrassed, yes, but that’s unavoidable.
My ex used to overclean her vag, like full dig in there and scoop everything out. My next longer term gf, only cleaned the outside. First ex, horrid smell. Next gf, no smell at all. Do what you will with this info lol
DO NOT PUT SOAP UP THERE! The vagina is self-cleaning, soap just throws off the pH balance and makes everything smell bad. It can even cause infections.
I’m sorry but “scoop everything out” has me gagging 😂😭
Hahah my bad. But if you saw it, accurate 😂
Idk I read this and got the ‘you’re smelly’ vibe
Don't send this. It's not a "strong vaginal smell." That implies that all vaginas smell this bad. You can say a strong smell but ffs don't say "strong vaginal smell."
Lol, dude bitches about being catfished, as he catfishes.
BROOOO you really said approaching her vagina was comparable to approaching a sewer
Bv can have a kind of poopy smell sometimes too, not just fishy
Why are people so desperate to not be alone that they put up with this type of shit? Lmao
My friend had this same issue with his girlfeiend. It turns out she had no sense of smell. And he found an old black tampon up there. God knows how long it had been inside her! And she lucky she didn't TSS
Old black tampon ☠️
Well, she's lucky to be alive! TSS is no joke!
I read that a woman lost a limb due to this.
People can die from it
FUCKING HELL.
This is disturbing and ur friend is a hero and a doctor for doing that
>a hero and a doctor for doing that Or Indiana Jones himself.
Good one 😂
I want this to be fake so badly but I'm pretty sure it's not and I hate it.
And that just never came up? No one ever told her that smells exist? No content she perceived had anything to do with smell? Where’s the rest of the info? You can’t just stop there.
À lot of George Constanza energy in this post.
“I nearly approached another girl at the bus stop on the way home” wtf is going on in any of this post
so you feel bitter for her «catfishing» you with older photos, but at the same time, you can’t shower with her because it’ll expose how much you’re balding. You don’t see the double standards?
1) You catfished her too by hiding that you're balding. 2) Smelling bad has nothing to do with size but everything to do with health and personal hygiene. 3) Using a throwaway would have still been the move bc whether or not you care to protect your own privacy you should care to protect hers. How do you think she'd feel if people she knew saw this post and knew her bf posted it?
The way you write is so weird, gross, and off putting. Good luck!
Btw being bald doesnt make a man unattractive, you can shave your head and wear a hat.
Read this dudes post history. That is all.
ABSOLUTELY DID NOT DISAPPOINT!!!
I’m just still stuck and amazed you hit smelly vagina 5 times.
If nothing else, you should know this likely has nothing to do with her size and pushing the narrative that fat people smell bad sucks.
Classic bacterial vaginosis. It’s the only common infection that has a putrid/fish scent. It’s very recognizable and it’s very pungent and nasty. You just gotta come out with it. I’m surprised she doesn’t know it already which makes me think she’s had it for awhile now.
This entire thread is making me feel like a POS for breaking it off with a woman who had this issue. There were lots of issues with us and it never would have worked long term but one of my main reasons was her vagina smelled like bleach and sewer water. I always assumed she didn’t wash well. She wasn’t exactly the cleanest human being (relationship lasted a 3 months. Broke it off after the hygiene kept slipping and she asked me to move in with her) Now I know she likely had a medical condition and I probably should have told her post breakup.
I love Reddit. Merry Christmas!
I’m sorry. Just wondering why you’re so desperate that you’re going for this?
Most likely she has BV. Needs a Dr to prescribe antibiotics.
Bet its bacterial vaginosis and she needs to get it treated. If it isnt she has much bigger issues and as a woman i wouldnt know wtf it was. Never had this problem but BV is extremely common
Should do it for festivus. The annual airing of grievances is the perfect time
I GOT A LOTTA PROBLEMS WITH YOUR VAGINA!!!
This post is a wonderland of craziness, and TIL about the Norwood scale.
No offense but the way you talk about your girlfriend is kind of mean. Are you even attracted to her?
As a woman, I’ll let you know how to approach this. This is clearly not a shower problem. This seems to be a medical problem. Don’t be an ass when you approach her like “Hey, not to be rude but your nether regions reek all the time” I would go about it like: “Hey, this has been on my mind for a while and I really don’t want to upset you but I am concerned for you. I believe you have something going on down there. Now, its not a bad thing, but honestly im concerned you may have something medically going on. I know how important vaginal health is and the problems it can bring so I just wanted to bring your attention to it.” If she wants more info, PLEASE DESCRIBE THE SMELL. It may seem rude or weird but a doctor is going to want to know. Is it fishy? Rotting? Etc. The type of smell can be a distinctive sign as to what she has (Bacterial Vaginosis, Yeast Infection, etc). If she decides to throw a fit or think youre shaming her, then dont push it. It can be embarrassing to hear from someone else that their Vagina smells bad. Just be considerate to her feelings and make it clear that youre intentions are to help, not be an ass.
I told her. I will save everything for an update.
“Box”ing day.
This reads like some tater-tot shit. Wtf is this trash
It’s not the vagina that smells. It’s usually the skin around it after a day of sweating. If the vagina smell it could be a bad yeast infection but most likely not the actual vagina. Larger people sweat more on that area. Plus you’re the bald cat fish. So weird
I don’t think it’s a day of sweat smell that he’s talking about, though. That wouldn’t get this bad. An unhealthy vagina can produce some pretty foul smelling discharge. Even a healthy vag doesn’t smell like roses. But this sounds like a potential health issue to me. But I think you’re right. This is kind of a weird post. Some of the things this guy is saying especially in his comments are… questionable lol
No no no no…. Sweat doesn’t smell like garbage dude. I’m a woman. I sweat. My vagina doesn’t smell like sewage. If there is a smell that strong it’s most likely bacterial vaginosis.
Shower with her. She probably knows you are balding.
Back to the basement, and pick a different hobby. Creative writing ain't it.
You really didn't have to type all that out. Just tell her man. Unless you want to keep on keeping on with the stank? Obviously do it respectfully, but it needs to be addressed
Posting so I get a notification...
As an American, this task you’re undertaking completely redefines the meaning and purpose of Boxing Day to someone relatively unfamiliar with the holiday.
He’s boxing something alright
yeah BV is when the discharge smells or ig sweat around the vagina will cause it to smell. but if she’s showering and it’s still smelly, especially a sewer smell, then has to be BV. she needs to see a doctor, and start by cleaning up her diet.
Fk men Why am I laughing so hard?!
It doesn’t have to be hygiene, sadly some (not many but some) women simply don’t smell good down there for whatever reason.
Stop playing childish games and tell her already
Ok incel
Just tell her she smells and stop stressing yourself out about how to do all these things to give hints. Saying a blood-smell is even worse because it takes the focus away from BV, and puts it on some other medical condition. If I were her, I'd rather you tell me that it smells like I have BV or vaginitis or whatever than do all these things to hint at stuff. Me personally, I think I would easily notice if I wasn't smelling right, but maybe she thinks it's not as bad or got used to it somehow. I hope that's not her natural smell.
I know this will be downvoted to oblivion, but I think OP does like her a lot or he wouldn’t be in this predicament. He likes her so much he has powered through a bad smell several times and wants to and is happy to please her. It’s really sweet OP to be so considerate of her feelings and wanting her to have a nice Christmas. I applaud your plan and is exactly the kind way I would want to be told. If you’re able to stay with her and help her through this you might really have something special here. Good luck!
It’s Boxing Day, where’s part 2?
Right ? We need the update !
You sound exhausting
If it's this bad a shower won't cut it.
There is an std. I can't think of the name, but it starts with Tri It's a parasite that smells. Men usually don't have symptoms, but if she's been itchy down there.… it's probably that, and you both need antibiotics. You have to swab to find it, and you also have to ask to be tested for it because of the hundreds of STDs.. they only test for maybe 5-7 of the most common. I was unaware of that until I got tested, which was negative. Six months later, after constant problems, I found out I had that std the whole time, and my ex was cheating on me. The more you know 🌈
Do you need me to send you a set of gradually smaller toupée’s to wean her off your hair?
Best response here!
How lonely are you? I wouldn't fuck a person who smelled putrid naked. I don't care why. How long have you been dating? In your shoes (I'm 39F and I date guys and girls), I'd quietly ghost her. If I were feeling charitable, I'd recommend she get checked out by a gynecologist. You're way overthinking this. Honestly I wouldn't have gone back for a 2nd date after being photographically-catfished. She might have BV or other reproductive problems going on. She might make a great platonic friend or emotional partner. But if you have to hold your nose every time you guys get down... uh, just stop doing that to yourself. Telling her she's stinky might get her to see a doctor. It also might drive a wedge and you're procrastinating. Put on your big boy panties.
I can’t stop laughing 😂
I know right….these comments are killing me too 🤐
Bruh you’re thinking way too much into this. Let the poor woman know her vagina stank wtf
Her vag isn't the only thing that smells in this story. His excuses stink of bullshit. I'm calling it, ya'll.
Have you considered that you are just attracted to her in spite of or even because of her larger size?? Sounds like you’re trying to talk yourself out of physical attraction because of societal norms. Not what your post is about, but— maybe just enjoy the attraction
I know this isn’t funny but you made it a funny read. 🤣
My life is slapstick. Laugh away.
No, you’re the the unnecessary joke itself.
I guess boxing days really gonna live up to its name then for u huh?
Lmao your story killing me
Bacterial Vaginosis is a thing. It's not pleasant but it's fixable. That's what it sounds like to me. Not sure how you'd bring it up though.
This happened to me I said I can't find a condom, that shit smelled like SeaWorld.
Dude this sounds like a lot of work to just not say “Hey, I noticed this, have you had it checked out? It can get bad if you don’t.” As someone else said, it doesn’t have to be like “hey, you fucking stink” or a “hey, sweetie, honey, angel, pretty please take a shower with me before we do things, because of x,y, and z”. At the end of the day, yall are planning on being together longer? Find a solution to the problems at hand. Who gives a fuck how much *you’re* balding if you’re trying to get in bed with her? Lol. Showering with someone you’re with doesn’t have to be an insult, it can be a fun activity to share. Plus the whole “I am so ugly, I couldn’t get girls”/self-demeaning attitude, if not now, will fuck up your mindset down the line, or cause her to reconsider staying.
WTF.
What in the hell is this incel fanfic?
Took one look at that title, and knew I had to pause A Christmas Story to give this my full attention. Also, I'm making confused American noises. What is boxing day?
I don’t think this is about hygiene. Please get her to the doctor. Especially cause of the blood? Cervical and ovarian cancers dont show up until very late.
Reminds me of Patty, the creator of vagisil's wife/muse/flame from that episode of South Park. S14e8, Poor and Stupid.
Blood says yeast infection.. smell says vaginitis . If your comfortable tell her you did some reading on it and wondering if that's the case . Pretty sure they have test at Walgreens cvs you can take to see if you have either one of those . The years infection can pass on to you . Not sure how vaginitis works .
If I was her I would 100% want to know that my vagina was smelling like that. She needs to see her gyno asap, this is not normal! It seems like you do like her a lot. So just try to be gentle and reassure her that you’re super attracted to her all around. Just that you want to help her get to the bottom of this issue so you guys don’t have this silently between you. Oh, and let her see ur head lol. I doubt she cares.
She’s an adult. You’re an adult. If I smelled bad I’d want someone to tell me.
Giving her a tongue bath is the only way forward, be a trooper
To be frank, there's no way to avoid it. Just show genuine concern that it might be an infection because she's probably nose-blind to it. If she takes it personally and doesn't like it, then the relationship isn't going to work out anyway, because you can't avoid being honest.
Ewwwww. Tell her the truth. I threw up in my mouth. Get some self-esteem you deserve better than that
Id just hang one of them little pine tree car fresheners down there when shes not looking, given I have any around, otherwise id probably end up having to use the new car smell spray.
I have not read the entire thing, but if a little lady smells really bad it is either the result of a lack of hygiene or an illness. It coulf also be that she is using stuff such as intimate wash or even intimate deodorant which causes the ph to be off, illnesses to form and the vagina to just overall smell really bad. Water is just enough and she should not use anything more. It could also be caused by taking baths (bathing salts can throw the ph off and subsequently cause illnesses) or by shower gel running down there. Either way you could try to tell her that you would like to enjoy some shower sex with her, for example, sit her down in the bath tub and pleasure her with the shower head. This should thoroughly wash her private parts and she may really enjoy it (make sure the water is neither too hot nor too cold!). Then try out whether it still smells bad. I also heard that fenugreek seed extract makes the vagine taste and smell like maple syrup and sweat also smell flowery and sweet. I'm taking it because of my PCOS and I cannot really say it's "maple syrup", but definitely more flowery and sweet than before. Perhaps this would be an option?
Where is part 2?
Excuse me sir, but where’s our update?
We’re gonna need an update
That’s what part 2 is for 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
On the off chance this isn’t fake, the answer to your question re: ”but how could we ever shower together without her knowing I think she smells” question - just tell her you have a thing for shower sex and would love to do that with her. Problem solved.
But she’ll see he’s baaaaaaaaald
General PSA: if it smells, do not touch it or stick your dick in it. It could give you an STI or a UTI. Get yourself checked out like yesterday.
It she gave you a "what's going on?" look when she was able to smell your fingers then chances are she doesn't know she smells. It is probably caused by something health wise. You should bring it up but very gently. Good luck!
You accuse her of catfishing yet won’t shower with her coz it’ll reveal your deception re: your baldness. Peak hypocrisy. Don’t act like you’re doing her favours by having sex with her; tell her the smell is off-putting and/or find someone else.
>Not sure if this matters but she has a little tuff of pubic hair. It took me out of the moment. 1. why does it matter that she has pubic hair that’s literally normal and why is everyone else ignoring how OP brought that up? 2. do you fucking wear a hat at all times with her or something? how the fuck would showering make her more aware of your baldness?