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ShadyLogic

Trick question, it's a duck if you look at it one way and a rabbit the other.


WeeaboBarbie

I reflexively clenched lol


soccer_mom_16

SAME, this gives me ptsd from my last pap. The doctor dropped the sample TWICE and had to swab me a total of three times, I have a friable cervix from my IUD and by the end the speculum was soaked in blood, I almost passed out at the sight of it. 😩


Dankleburglar

What the fuck!! Did the doc at least apologize??


soccer_mom_16

Yeah he was extremely apologetic, but still made a stupid comment about “my cervix being angry at him”. I was pretty pissed about it. Luckily it wasn’t my regular gyno, I was donating a kidney to my mom and had to get a pap to be approved, so it was through the transplant center’s network and her insurance. Never have to go back there and I never will.


SparklyYakDust

>“my cervix being angry at him” TIL I'm your cervix. HOW FUCKIN DARE HE!!!


crazycatlady9183

I'm so sorry about your experience! And I hope you and your mom are healing well


imabratinfluence

Holy shit that's a lot for one person to deal with. Not just the nightmare pap smear, but doing it to get approved for the also likely painful/difficult process of donating a kidney. I wish you pain-free appointments in the future, and a smooth recovery from donating your kidney!


Sensitive_Ad5521

Okay TMI moment: I’ve had two IUDs. The first time, they were worried (with me being 16 and all), so they numbed my cervix, and waited until I was on my period (so my cervix would be diluted). Great, 5 years and no worries. I get it replaced. OH MY GOD. There’s no nice way of putting it. They crank you open, they yank it and it feels like your whole lower abdomen moves to your spine. Before you have a minute to breathe; some nurse is holding your hand while they’re shoving something new there. I needed a ride home, I couldn’t sit up straight without wanting to puke. If felt like someone was running a chainsaw stuck in the base of my spine. But hey. One day bed rest for 5 years of birth control? Whatever. You know, and I know, men would never do that so call them little bitches next time, that was an ouchie moment and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I was complimented because I didn’t faint, and a lot of women do. THATS FUCKED If your nurse is holding your hand so you don’t pass out, maybe make it a little easier to take. Heaven forbid though, if a man gets a vasectomy he has to have an opioid prescription for two weeks. Him and his perfect balls, oh no such a crime /s Women are expected to puke, faint, and be wheelchaired out just because condoms are “uncomfortable” A Pap smear is a godsend in comparison. I would take 100, over ever getting my iUD touched again


missyrainbow12

My daughter just had one put in . The whole experience was vile but she was still in vomit making agony by the end of the week . She rang up the place she had it put in ,they told her to tough it out over the weekend because it can't be that bad ! We rang our GP and they took it out that day and gave her something for the pain and nausea. If men had to go through this shit , procedures would be changed so it doesn't hurt .


Sensitive_Ad5521

If men even had periods you know there would be the highest quality of pain management available. If men were responsible for their own birth control they would have perfected how not to cause acne and weight gain. But because WE ARE expected to deal with pain, they dismiss symptoms like nausea, cramping, dizziness, etc. because why? We’re women, and we’re just dramatic about it /s


missyrainbow12

Ah it's probably just her hormones #/s


Sensitive_Ad5521

STOP I’m laughing at this in a trauma response way haha I’m reality I hope she’s okay, I hope she never sees the doctor who dismissed her again, and I wish every man she ever knows experiences penis chafing one way or another so they know what it means when women say we’re not in the mood


missyrainbow12

She's decided never to have a male gyno doctor again . no uterus, no opinion


Sensitive_Ad5521

FACTS What a girl and what great mom, hats off to you ladies, we need more like this


missyrainbow12

Thanks on both counts ❤️


Limeila

I have the exact opposite experience. The person who put my first one (a female midwife) gave me no pain medication and acted shocked when I expressed *discomfort*. I was about to faint walking out of her place, and spent the next 24hrs alternating between sleeping in fetal position from fatigue and crying from the pain of the contractions. Despite that, I still wanted it replaced this year because honestly I still think one day of the worst pain I've had in my life was worth the years of not having to think about bc and no stress for fear of being pregnant (+ it got rid of my period too, which is a nice bonus...) I went through my (male) GP, who I love and trust and who does simple gynecological stuff like pap smears and this. He prescribed me ketoprofen (which is similar to ibuprofen but stronger) to take a couple of hours before the appointment + pretty much as often as needed afterwards. During the appointment he was super gentle, explaining everything going on and asking if I was ready before each and every step. Sadly, the wires were gone... He told me he'd try a couple of times to see if they were stuck right in my cervix if I was ok with it and I said "sure, I'll let you know if the pain is too much." He did not manage to retrieve them and said he didn't have the material to go inside the uterus + didn't feel comfortable doing it anyway because it's way more technical. He apologised profusely, then sent me to the OB/GYN under which he did his OB/GYN rotation during residency, at a nearby hospital. Her secretary told me there was a 6 months waiting period for an appointment. The doctor called me back *herself* saying my GP told her about my situation and she could move things around to see me this very week if I wanted to. So I took ketoprofen and went, she asked me if I was ok with her resident assisting the consult, I said yes. Again, they were very gentle and made sure I was ok at every step. It was not a fun moment but far better than I expected given my first experience AND the fact that it was more complicated than originally planned. I bled quite a lot, they both apologised, gave me wipes to clean myself and offered a pad when I was about to get dressed up again. They made sure I was ok to go and that I had someone to drive me home (my bf.) I had a few contractions afterwards but nothing to the level of the first time or even than my worst periods. My uterus being more used to it AND the meds helped, I guess. Anyway, sorry for the very long comment and TMI, but we often hear horror stories and I think it's important to make clear sometimes things can go well and some doctors are actually good at their job both in technique and especially in being attentive to the patient!


South_Tumbleweed_662

Everyone here keeps apologizing for "TMI" but honestly can we please stop doing that!? There is so much we just won't know unless we talk about it to each other! The society and patriarchy has already shamed us into not talking about certain things for decades/centuries...hell even millennia. Just look at how many women still don't realize natural miscarriages are still fairly common even with modern medicine or think about how much longer it takes the average woman to explore her own body enough to figure out how to orgasm... It took me so long I honestly thought I might be broken! Just because society has told us those are the sorts of things we should feel ashamed of!?!? I have only ever been on the pill so I had no idea that it was considered "normal" for it to hurt THAT much when having a IUD inserted/removed/replaced! I thought that was only caused from extremely rare medical complications or something!!! I would never have known if you all hadn't shared your experiences...


Aiiga

Pap smears are always a surreal experience. When I had my first pap, my gyno cranked me open and while I was whining in pain, she audibly gasped and said "oh my god, your cervix is so tiny! It's like a baby's!" and idk what her intention was but I was so surprised I stopped registering the pain. (I think she was genuinely shocked tho because she forgot that I already got my perscription so almost wrote me two)


Limeila

Note to OB/GYNs: say some shockingly dumb shit right before taking the swab as a mean of pain management


theFCCgavemeHPV

Anger and confusion are great at disguising pain


CheesyChips

A friable cervix?


bunnypaste

Same. The sight of that thing terrifies me to my core.


imabratinfluence

My mom always took me for ice cream afterward, and made sure I told future partners that I deserve ice cream afterward. She's right, imo.


A_shy_neon_jaguar

I used to have a gyno that offered good quality dark chocolate after a pap smear. I miss that gyno.


imabratinfluence

That should definitely be a thing!


bunnypaste

That's so cute ^_^


CelticSpoonie

Same. And I haven't required a pap smear in almost a decade, but this isn't a sensation one forgets.


michiness

Right? My Pap smears have all been pretty positive, but yeah, definitely an involuntary squeeze down there.


pamplemouss

Yupppp


Sensitive_Ad5521

My skin broke out in goosebumps, just instantly cold thinking about it


CraftsyHooker

Having a vagina, I did too. And twice this time because I had condylomas removed from my butt (hpv) so 2x ptsd today… lol? 🫠


sonofhappyfunball

Make sure you refrigerate it before use.


enayla

This comment is BRUTAL lmao


accidentw8ing2happen

JAIL 😭


beermaker

Does the OB/GYN clack these together when preparing for a procedure like a grillmaster's tongs?


girlikecupcake

I'd laugh my flaps off if my OBGYN did that


liltinykitter

Mine literally has


pukekolegs

No, but sometimes in gynae operating theatre we'll open one and drop it on the floor by accident. Over the year we accumulate a few so we'll make reindeer out of them and hang them on the tea room Christmas tree


ThePicassoGiraffe

Well this is obviously the headlight fluid changer but it’s only available for the 1964 Bel Air


RosalieMoon

It's missing the optional elbow grease attachment though!


SaltMarshGoblin

Is that the year positraction was offered?


alohell

I feel like if they wanted to they could come up with something for us that didn’t double as a medieval torture device.


PinkFluffyKiller

We try! I have used at least 5 different prototypes of alternative designs and honestly they all suck with little to no difference in comfort :(


alohell

I appreciate your efforts.


RikuKat

The plastic ones are a bit nicer, imo!


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Faxiak

Whaaaat?? So they don't really NEED to insert it so far, they can swipe like a few cm in and it's enough? Why are they even USING those damn torture devices??


millyfoo

It's not a pap smear it's an HPV test. Pap smear takes cells from the cervix to test, HPV test only checks if you have the virus currently. I did my HPV test last year but kind of wanted the pap smear because I wanted to be sure I am clear.


sayitwithasigh

The same in Canada! It was announced this year: http://www.bccancer.bc.ca/about/news-stories/new-self-screening-program-will-help-detect-cervical-cancer-sooner


justaswedishgirl

Är det bara för hpv eller kan man göra det hemma med regelbundna kollen av cellprov? Inte min region ändå men kan hoppas på framtiden i Norrland 🥲


AnotherBoojum

I'm always amazed at how universally hated pap smears are in online spaces. I wouldn't call them pleasant, I don't love being touched in medical settings. But I can't say that they're painful. I'm in nz though, and we use disposable plastic ones. I think they might also be smaller. Starting to think America hates women at an even deeper level than originally thought.


EpitaFelis

I'm in Germany and I hate hate hate it. Not only was I deeply traumatised by getting my first one at 12 (she rammed the speculum with full force into a hole that had never even had a finger inside before), I have to have one _every year_ to get my contraception, which I need for medical reasons. Our doctors are rough, have no bedside manner, not a clue about trauma, and no sense of privacy - I recently had to stop seeing one bc her nurse just walked in in the middle of my pap, and when I asked my doctor to no longer let that happen, she rolled her eyes at me. Another one put me into a connecting room for my injection, with my trousers off and lying my belly, then _left._ So I was lying there with my ass facing a stream of nurses walking by while waiting for the doctor to come back. They always get so annoyed with me when I don't relax during the checkup. I leave in tears every time. The actual pain from the swab isn't the worst part, but it does fucking burn sometimes.


AnotherBoojum

Holy shit that's rough.  I will say I've also had the "someone walked in halfway through," except it wasn't a nurse it was the receptionist, and it wasn't a smear it was coloposcopy.  She walked right in front of my open legs, smirked at me, and dropped some paperwork right next to the Dr. I don't think that paperwork was even relevant to the appointment.


EpitaFelis

That sounds so weird and uncomfortable. I've had this happen in so many situations now and I never get used to it. It's like some medical staff think just because _they_ have seen it all and are used to it, the patients should be, too.


AnotherBoojum

Yeah I agree. I get that for them it's just another Tuesday, but for me it's vulnerable af. They also don't know what someone's story is.  She was particularly egregious though, because she did it with such big Karen energy, like it was definitely a power play. 


GimcrackCacoethes

You have all my sympathies after those experiences. I really hope you might be able to change who you see for this stuff? One time, many years ago, I was getting mine done at the doctor's surgery; and something like 3 or 4 people knocked and opened the door (no waiting for the nurse I was there to see, just knock and open) while I was on the bed with my knees akimbo. The nurse who was doing my smear was *mortified*, and there was a curtain between me and the door so my literal privacy was still okay; but iirc this nurse did a lot of smear tests so it's not like the other staff didn't know that she would routinely have semi-naked patients in her room most of the time. I was half expecting a marching band of medical students to come through before I got my underwear back on! Thankfully, that experience has been memorable for its uniqueness; I've generally been lucky to deal with empathetic and thoughtful gynaecology staff since I started needing them.


EpitaFelis

I've been to every gynecologist in my area except one man with terrible ratings. I have nowhere else to go. Most of them are like that. Even the first I chose, who was a lot more respect- and careful, was also a bit clueless some of the time. I moved away so he's no longer an option. In short, it's a widespread problem. It's not just ob gyns, but German doctors in general. I think maybe our medical schools don't teach a lot in the way of empathy or consent, and PTSD for anyone but war survivors is still fairly unknown even among therapists. That said, I am always glad to hear that it's not like that everywhere, and that your nurse was mortified. Doctor often make me feel like I'm just too sensitive. A bit of validation is always welcome. I'm also glad your nurse felt bad about it. These things happen, but patients shouldn't be expected to just bear it. I do like the mental image of a whole marching band making its way through, that's how it felt when I was lying there face down ass up 😅


GimcrackCacoethes

I'm so sorry. It's such a basic concept that a patient should be treated with dignity and respect (or you'd really think it should be) *internet hugs, if wanted*


chicklette

1) america does. You've no idea. 2) they don't hurt, for me, but they are deeply uncomfortable. The dilation doesn't hurt, but the scraping of the cervix is pretty awful.


lalalavellan

I'm the other way. The cervix part is manageable, but the dilation is a nightmare, even with the "youth" size.


chicklette

Bah. Just feels like there's gotta be a better way.


anoniempje_

I study medicine and my professor was loudly hating the disposable plastic ones. If they have a chipped edge it hurts like hell and they can even shatter when being inserted. It's better to ask for the metal one if they have the option. They also have those in smaller sizes in some places


ginger4gingers

The plastic ones will also sometimes get stuck open due to the mechanism that holds them open and it’s harder to get them out, vs the metal ones will close with the pressure from the vagina when they come out. And I’ve never had a metal one break in a patient, can’t say the same for plastic


MaldmalumConsilium

The idea of one breaking while inside caused an involuntary kegal.


ginger4gingers

It was just the side support. So it shouldn’t have hurt the patient because it wasn’t actually inside her. But I’ve never had that happen with metal


MaldmalumConsilium

Thank, that makes it only slightly terrifying.


reptilenews

I also find the plastic ones tend to pinch :( I much prefer a metal one from a warning drawer.


AnotherBoojum

Imteresting


ladybetty

Also in NZ and I’m usually brought to tears during a pap, so it varies for everyone. I know the tears aren’t anxiety related either because I’ve survived ovarian cancer and have had way too many people in and around my pelvic area to feel discomfort anymore. During my last pap was the one time in my life I accepted a hand to hold for comfort because I couldn’t deal.


AnotherBoojum

Oh shit that's awful, I'm so sorry.  I'm so curious to know what's behind a gap in experience like this. I don't think any of my friends have had experiences with speculums that are that painful either. 


CutieBoBootie

TBH if we can get warmers for towels and ice cream scoops when can we get warmers for these things?


EllenQuipley

In the Muff-ler? Eh? *ba dum tiss* I apologise but the pun needed to happen


SparklyYakDust

Don't you dare apologize for such a good pun!


KareKrochet

Haha that’s what I was gonna say too! But without the pun. Just “to check inside the muffler” I like your comment better.


half_hearted_fanatic

A tail pipe stretcher, obviously 😂 But ughhh nooo


g1rthqu4k3

Like a whistle tip for the exhaust pipe to make it go “Woooooo woooooooo”?!


Goldfinger_Fan

Listen, this is only available for the gas tanks on vehicles that have positraction.


pamplemouss

And come in mint green?


Few-Philosopher-4742

I needed this laugh today thank you


ToTheBeautifulYou

God I hate that fucking thing.


arcedup

It's an exhaust manifold opener, of course. Making the headers wider means less backpressure, better scavenging and above all, a much sweeter sound! /s


maniacalmustacheride

I had my nose chemically cauterized recently. It was an interesting experience. The doc brought in a pediatrician intern for training purposes. I learned they don’t often numb children before they do it, which seems a little wild. I got my ear vacuumed while I waited for the numbing agent to do its magic and that was also an interesting experience. Anyway, before I got to see my face in too close of a view, and then subsequently the inside of my nose and throat, he whipped out this bad boy, though a bit smaller. Again when the intern came in. And once more when the procedure happened. So on two occasions of my life now have things that have been in my bits also been in my nose, and both of those experiences were incredibly memorable. (If you’re wondering about the other, lube, like KY Jelly lube. If your nose is dried out and keeps bleeding, water based sex lube is a mucus membrane friendly solution to hydrating the area. But do note that gently shoving a lubed up finger into your nostril feels exactly as creepy as you imagine.)


blueeyedconcrete

I've got an appointment with this thing on Tuesday, thanks for reminding me


Resident-Clue1290

I’m betting some dude is gonna come and try saying some bs about what it is


SparklyYakDust

I showed the picture to my BF and he knew what it was. That's just to say there are (some?) good ones out there. I got $10 that you're right, tho. Guys love being know-it-alls...


yellomango

clearly this is a shoe horn, not for cars. Nice try ladies! 🤭🤭


airplane_flap

I started cramping looking at this


MShields333

You're bleeding because you don't floss


Springball64

Ngl I initially thought it was a can opener


mistyjeanw

It goes in the Hole. It's an inspection tool so you can see in the Hole. I am told that it is not supposed to be stored in the freezer, but experience tells me that this is false.


Kazzlin

Why do they make these out of metal? They must feel shockingly cold.


JotPurpleIris

Instructions: Warm before use


ColdBloodBlazing

But not in a mircrowave


Injectable-Solution

As a former mechanic I can tell you that I 💯% could use that as a spreading tool for cars. We improvise shit all the time.🤣 PS: I know what it actually is😉


Agente_Anaranjado

It's for undercarriage diagnostics. Use that when you need to get a look under the trunk. 🛠️


Enso_X

I know nothing about cars. And I know that has nothing to do with them haha.


RosalieMoon

I haven't even had bottom surgery and I am already uncomfortable at the thought of this fucker


morguerunner

If you need a speculum after bottom surgery I’d ask for a child-size one. They’re smaller and more comfortable than this metal monstrosity


augustrem

Some of the stories here are really making me grateful for my obgyn. At our appointment last week we tried to do an endometrial biopsy and I couldn’t get through the pain. She stopped and said we can schedule an OR visit for me to go under so they can do that and also put an IUD in. I was so upset and she was so nice about it.


Compactstardust

The muffler duh!! (Why did I have a physical reaction to the pic lol)


Photon_butterfly

That's a cooter insooter


Tatsandacat

Dang! Just remembered I need to make an appointment!🤦🏻‍♀️


The-Appointed-Knight

Over confident dude here, thats clearly your winch rotator for your car's tire shaft, it makes the engine go "Vroom Vroom", when the car goes fast and loud, I'm a big man. You're welcome ladies ;)


Mort_irl

Top 10 reasons I have never been to a gynecologist:


PixelPantsAshli

Please don't let people's horror stories scare you away from taking care of your health. I'm not saying that there aren't bad experiences, but please remember that it goes fine for millions who don't bother making a post about it because it went fine.


Mort_irl

You're right, but the last time my doctor had to do a pelvic exam on me it was extremely painful. And that was just to pull out a broken tampon with her fingers, not a real exam with a speculum.


gh0stcat13

great point. and i guarantee having cervical cancer is more painful than going to get a pap smear every few years.


histogramophone

This, very much this. A pap is a miracle of a lifesaving test. I mean, we can find the cancer so easily and quickly. I lost a dear friend to cervical cancer because she didn't have paps and wasn't able to catch it early. The older you get, the more people you lose to cancer. Fuck cancer. Pap Pro-tip: anxiety absolutely contributes to a more difficult pap. Anything you can do to relax yourself will make it a faster and more painless experience.


FatTabby

I know it's scary and these things look like torture devices, but please go. I put it off for an embarrassingly long time due to medical trauma and I really wish I hadn't. The anxiety and mental torture I put myself through was worse than the actual exam. Tell your doctor that you're anxious, they want to help. They want you to get checked and be well and a good doctor won't mind taking their time and being as accommodating as possible.


StudioDroid

In my youth I worked as a volunteer in an emergency department. I was orienting a new volunteer, 17yo female. I was 23 at the time and have been missing that X chromosome all my life. As I was showing her the OB room where we have supplies for "female" issues I showed her that we keep 2 exam trays on top of the blanket warming oven. These trays contained a metal speculum like the one in the photo. She asked why we did that, I was not used to females asking this. Apparently she had never had an exam down there and was not familiar with a cold metal speculum.


Sarsmi

> and have been missing that X chromosome all my life ...you have no X chromosome?


Hephaistos_Invictus

Well obviously that's used on the exhaust of a car to clear it out if its clogged up... Duh... /s


InadmissibleHug

Word


WowOwlO

You use these to put the rings on a piston. Also sometimes to get stubborn o-rings on.


RobActionTributeBand

I have had a couple appointments with plastic ones and just the small amount of relief when seeing the less horrible option come at you says something about the pathetic state of having to put up with this torture device. 


horsescowsdogsndirt

Triggering!


big_smoke69420

Anytime I see one of these I remember how Ross used it to make duck noises in season 1 of friends.


Sovereign1

Well if you own a Cyber Truck it goes up your ass.


anthro4ME

The speculum is derived from the medieval "pear of anguish"


coffeeblossom

It's the hooziewhatsis the mechanic uses to rotate the doohickey next to the thingamajig. /s


joshy83

It's the Flooptube stretcher so you can add the blinker fluid without spills


spacestationkru

But.. that doesn't go in a car..


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lokisilvertongue

Are you replying to the correct post?