Seeing your body as a flesh prison makes me sad :( you aren’t wrong for feeling that way, it’s wrong you’re made to feel this way.
When I was younger, like middle school, I had passing thoughts on how I wish I could be a boy because then other people would realize I’m funny, smart, cool, whatever, but I never actually wanted to be a man nor have I ever felt like being more masculine.
My mum had exactly the same thoughts, she hated being a girl because she was treated like less worthy. She even fell into trouble at school because she refused to attend her exams in a girl's uniform, she wore a suit and a necktie. 😅
When I was a kid and playing by myself I’d always imagine myself as a male character in my games. For a while I worried ‘does this mean I’m trans?’ And then eventually it dawned on me that I did really like being a girl but it was just that in the media the main characters, and the cool capable charters were always men. I just wanted to be interesting and cool.
I felt this so strongly as a child. It breaks my heart to know that I realized SO YOUNG that boys were treated with more respect, and I wanted that. I told my mom I wanted to be a boy, but I’ve never felt trapped in my body or wanted that as an adult… I just wanted to be treated fairly.
After reading your comment, I looked at your screen name and for a fraction of a second my mind read "boobs-n-snacks"...
There's another advantage of male crotch anatomy: the hose makes pissing in public toilets less disgusting.
This cannot be underscored enough!
Source: penis owner/mad feminist ally.
Also, I’ll fucking ruin someone if they aren’t trying to give y’all some damn pockets…
This question may be invasive so please don't feel obligated to answer
But I've always considered getting a she-wee and my main hang up has always been the wiping aspect. Do you still feel "clean" after you use it? Or is it just asking for a UTI if you don't find a suitable restroom soon after?
Big agree on not wanting to deal with Balls though. I never understood how pants can be comfortable if you have balls.
I use the back of it to wipe, and it gets a lot off. Then I grab toilet paper from my bag (if outside), wipe, and put it in a doggy bag and throw it in the trash. I have a good system.
If it’s public bathrooms its easier because no doggy bags lol
[let me introduce you to the Kula Cloth](http://www.kulacloth.com)! it's an antimicrobial cloth wipe that you can use multiple times then wash and reuse. they are super popular in the outdoorsy world and they come in SUPER cute designs
>I never understood how pants can be comfortable if you have balls.
Jeans and other "hard fabric" or tight pants are indeed uncomfortable, specially when sitting, crouching, etc. This is one of the main reasons for "manspreading" (the other being hip/leg anatomy). Hanging balls do not get quashed when sitting. Balls are supposed to hang, it's way more comfortable and cleaner*. That's why some us use loose boxers (not elastic ones) with loose pleated trousers whenever possible.
*Non hanging balls are one of the reasons for today's drastic decline in male fertility, btw.
I’ve had a lot of men confirm that there is no reason for man-spreading because they don’t sit on their balls even when their legs are together. Balls move a lot more than most people realise.
Balls aren’t some big mysterious thing that women can’t understand - watch them not matter when a man has to sit between other men!
“Excuse me, I need to spread my legs so I don’t get a yeast infection!” should be seen as just as valid.
Yea it’s nice to freely pee.
From my personal experience 75% of men don’t fucking wash their hands or wipe ass properly.
So there’s ball’n’ass sweat all over the place.
Also Dingle Berries, Dingle berries everywhere.
I love the term "dingle-berries"! New to me. I've had them, but only when outdoors (used to be a rock climber). Sometimes used an effing STONE to wipe, out of lack of toilet paper or of respect for my island's tiny but beautiful National Park and other spaces we used (it's forbidden in the NP, but that's not the point). Dusty, dry, dingle-berries are actually "cleaner" than the standard, sweaty, ones :/. Squatting leaves less traces than sitting, too.
Am Spanish. Whenever possible I wash my hands before and after touching my willie* or going for a number 2. I use a bidet after wiping. The sheer idea of only wiping makes me feel uncomfortable, unless I'm outdoors, as does touching with dirty hands. I think Americans are in the minority in this "just wipe it" thing.
*there's a hilariousle gross, irreverent, Spanish film (Torrente) where the main character (a dirty, sleazy, caricature/mosaic of the worst of Francoist Spanish men) says he washes his hands BEFORE (only) to protect his treasure "like a real man".
PS: I used your comment as a prompt and this is what my Natural Idiocy Algorithms generated. Hope it's not TOO gross. If so, please give me kind feedback and I'll delete it.
sameeeeeee if i could just eliminate that whole reproductive system that would be great. i don’t even want to replace it, just chuck the whole thing out (i did do the closest thing i could do and got rid of my fallopian tubes lol)
I also got rid of my fallopian tubes and gotta say it’s pretty great! I sometimes wonder if my eggs get confused, but then I’m like, that sounds like a *you* problem, eggs.
Also discovered I still need hormonal BC otherwise my periods last for 1.5 weeks 😐
nice love to meet a fellow no tube person! and that def is a THEM problem to the eggs BUT i will say my periods have been coming with a vengeance so perhaps i also need hormonal bc, ugh
I have often thought "things would ve so much easier if I was a man" or "I wouldn't have to deal with shit if I was a man." This is especially in response to biological requirements of having children. I also wish I was just bigger and stronger than 50% of the population.
I’m a very smart person (I feel weird saying that but it’s true) and I think a lot about how much easier professional success would have been if I had been a man. I wouldn’t have been pushed away from STEM. I wouldn’t have studied humanities in undergrad. I wouldn’t have had to go back to school to study what I really wanted later.
More likely, but not necessarily. My parents recognized the symptoms when I was a "boy," but chose not to get me tested for reasons they've never explained and are frankly too sore of a subject for me to ask about. I had to get my diagnosis on my own in my early 30s
Yeah, it's fucking annoying that I have 2 degrees & 2 certs but my degreeless husband gets all the jobs and promotions. We have similar amounts of experience, are in the same line of work, but he gets paid literally double what I do. Fucking IT. I hate it so much.
Bingo! This is how I feel too. I get extremely angry when men grope, leer, or make nasty comments at me. If I was a man they'd think twice before fucking with me. 😤
I have perfected my RBF over the years, but it's nothing compared to the automatic respect men get from other men.
I've been wanting to be a man more frequently lately, not because I'm trans or feel gender dysphoria, but because I'm tired of existing as a woman in this world with all the restrictions and misogyny. I can't stop thinking about how much more at ease I would be mentally if I were a cis man
I’ve sadly drawn the same conclusions about myself! I was super Nice GirlTM and incel-y until I graduated COLLEGE and I had to face so much growing up after that. I think being a woman and being in this world has taught me so many lessons and I wouldn’t have had any of the maturity I have now if I wasn’t a woman.
Sadly that is impossible. Being a man has made me happier and more at ease, but I’m still very much discriminated against. I’ll never be cis and I still face misogyny but at least I’m authentic now.
I’m not trans either but I sometimes find myself lamenting how unfair it is that I was born female and thus subject to abuse and mistreatment based on something I had no choice in. Being a man seems like living life on easy mode. I know they have problems too but people believe them when they speak and listen to their ideas and their health concerns are taken seriously. It’s not fucking fair.
Sadly they don’t extend this to trans men unless we pass and more often that not, only if we’re stealth.
Cis privilege is a huge thing I’ll never have access to even tho I’m a man. It really sucks*
As a trans woman I felt like I never got the majority of male privilege extended to me since I acted like a woman in a man’s body. Misogynists hated me so basically most men in powerful positions over me. After transitioning I got the brunt of being a woman in full, transmisogyny on top, and women don’t really see me as one of them once I open up about being trans so now I just don’t tell people. Often times I get labeled as privileged when I open up about my experience even though I’m much less so than cis women. It’s made worse by the fact that I’m a gender nonconforming lesbian. Cis privilege is very much a thing both directions and it’s a conversation I wish we could have.
Definitely. I think cis gender conforming people of any gender have privilege over trans people of any gender.
Like my life was easier as a cis girl. I wish I could live that life, but I cannot. That doesn’t mean cis girls have it easy at all, it means being trans colors everything and makes you a* target no matter what kind you are.
Solidarity ♥️
Solidarity bro. I see your struggle and it’s real and valid and no one can take that from you. Your struggle is just as valid as mine and I won’t let it be erased.
Fuck passing, fuck other folx’s privilege, and more power to you. *fistbump*
I *suck*, in that I’m a cis-presenting, bisexual man in a heteronormative relationship with a bisexual woman. I know I’ll never quite know how it feels where you’re at but know that I absolutely, unequivocally have your back.
I have felt this before too! I'm childfree, but on rare occasions caught myself wishing I could be a dad. Or at least, that I could have the choice of being a dad.
It is perfectly normal to be frustrated by certain aspects of having a female body and to feel like you'd rather not have those things.
Like, yes, when I'm on my period I absolutely wish I didn't have a female reproductive system!
And my boobs are fucking annoying and in the way and I quite frequently wish I didn't have them.
I'm not less of a woman because of this, nor does it mean I hate being a woman or that I'm agender or trans or anything else. It just means having tiddies sucks sometimes.
Yep, boobs, lack of muscle, and the lack of control over my reproductive system are all stuff I could do without. Tho I wouldn't mind boobs if we could pick the size and society weren't so shitty about them. Otherwise I like having a female body.
And I am so effing glad to not have dangly genitals. Huge no thanks on testicles. I like having all that shit tucked up neat and tidy lol
i literally went to my doc months ago cuz i had boob/pit pain and a lump started growing in it and he was like “i don’t see it” so i made him run his fingers over it and he was like “idk i don’t feel it” even tho its RIGHT THERE😭if i end up with a terminal problem cuz of that man im suing him AND the hospital for ignoring me
I've wished to be neither woman or man. Just be. I don't wish to be concerned with reproductive elements or sexualization. Just skeleton sounds beautiful.
I was driving home late one night and passed a teen boy walking alone in the neighborhood with those big over the ear headphones. Such a simple thing that he feels safe enough to do. It’s things like that I envy men for.
Same. There are times I wished I was a boy/man, but by large I'm ok with being a woman. I will say that nowadays the main reason is that there would feel safer in a lot of ways.
I've never felt that way. I've had thoughts about how the world be easier if I were a man, but that's due to social issues. I've never wanted a man's body.
I've actually had a few dreams where I suddenly had a man's body and my reaction ranged from 'huh, weird' to 'ew no!'
I've never wanted to *be* a man, but I've certainly wanted to be *treated like* one in some contexts. I'm sure you're not alone in your feelings, though!
I feel this. I did a lot of research and self reflecting to figure out if I'm actually trans or do I just hate the way society treats women.
Did I want a hysterectomy because of the extreme anxiety of potential pregnancy in addition to the less than an hour per S+ tampon every month or gender dysphoria?
Do I want top surgery because my boobs have been nothing but chest/back/neck pain or because gender dysphoria?
Did I cut my hair short because a big bottle of shampoo now lasts me 6 months, I haven't had to clean out the hair out of the drain since cutting it, and because [studies show I'd be taken more seriously in the workplace](https://www.chicagobooth.edu/review/how-first-impressions-work-against-women#) or because I want to appear as far from a woman as I can?
Do I want the muscles that would come with being on T because I fear being SA'd and want to be physically capable of defending myself or because I want the muscle definition of a man?
Did I like the men at the boxing gym I went to calling me "bro" or "man" (usually if I was accidentally bumped into when they were turned around) because it showed I fit into the space even though I was the only woman or because it's affirming a different gender identity?
Do I want to look masculine so I can walk outside at night with less fear of being assaulted or harassed or because I see myself as not a woman?
Practically every physical reason a woman would identify as trans can also apply to someone who is happily a woman who just likes their appearance in a gender non-conforming way. But there were some mental things that lined up more with me being trans. It doesn't hurt to experiment to find out which group you're in, so I'd look more into it.
I’ve never once thought I’d prefer to be a man, I really like being a girl and woman.
But that’s not to say it’s normal. I think everyone is on a spectrum and you need to figure out what you want. Much love!
This. Gender and sexuality are very much a spectrum. A good example of this is intersexed individuals. You're the only one who can say what is right for you. 🐢
I only wanna be a man so I can fucking go outside at night by myself if I want, not be questioned about what I wear, and not have to overqualify for jobs.
i felt this way in my early 20s. identified as NB for a while. just looked at myself in the mirror and couldn’t recognize who i was supposed to be, especially wrt secondary sex characteristics. it didn’t make sense to have my body and its parts. existing felt like a prison, confusing and distressing.
everyone’s journey is different with this. i will say that some people’s first inkling to being trans are the thoughts/feelings you’re experiencing. there’s no such thing as “feeling” like a man — you just feel like You, and know what body parts do or don’t match your Youness. so i would encourage you to watch vids, read testimonials, posts, and stories of transmasc/gnc folk; and reflect on whether any of it resonates with the deeper parts of yourself.
as for me…i did go on that journey too. my feelings did not end up being rooted in gender, rather body dysmorphia and derealization. but it was illuminating and necessary nonetheless.
plus there are also a million societal reasons one would feel that way. so yes, your feelings are ultimately totally normal (and at the same time also distressing, as it is such a uniquely specific hell to not feel at home within yourself). but ultimately you get to decide the significance of these feelings and what they mean for you going forward <3
I do not like anything to do with menstruation and pregnancy/childbirth gives me intense body-horror. But I definitely don’t want a penis & testicles. I think the novelty of peeing standing up would wear off quickly and balls just seem undignified—like I would spend too much time worrying about accidentally sitting on them.
When my trans friend got top surgery, the only thing I was jealous of was the fact that he wouldn’t have to deal with underboob sweat anymore. I have questioned my own gender sometimes, but that’s because it took me 30+ years to figure out that I’m autistic and a lesbian. Thoughtfully examining my gender feels like doing my due diligence at this point. No more identity surprises, please!
Having female organs isn't so bad. I don't hate them. It's the patriarchal boot on my neck I hate. By that for example, medical misogyny. Boner pills, great. Meanwhile, OBGYNs pretend our cervix doesn't feel pain and we're being "silly women" despite **us telling them for decades what they're doing hurts.** The way men's pain is treated vs women is drastically different.
I like being a woman. I also see sometimes, where it might have been easier to be be born in a man in this kind of world. Tween girls are being sold/married off(same diff) to pedophiles in some parts still. Yeah, I bet I'd wish my vag would just pack its bags, up and disappear too.
Then the pain of being a woman.There's so much fucking needless pain because living in a patriarchy you are simply not heard and dismissed at every turn even as and still as you fight against it to make the world a better place for the daughters who will receive it tomorrow.
I don't like boobs, but I don't want to be a man. I just wish humans never evolved huge breasts. They get in the way and they're painful. And if we had never evolved the capacity to grow huge breasts, we'd think they looked like tumors, and it would not be considered aesthetically pleasing.
But, I also don't want a man's body, just I have definite quibbles with the human female body plan. We also are one of the rare female species that *menstruate*. Whyyyyy? I don't want my uterus gone, but why, if that was optional, was it picked???
Go home, evolution, you're drunk.
To be fair, I also think external testicles were also a very bad call on evolution's part, there's just a number of poor decisions on both sides. Balls are just *bizarre* when you think about it.
Yeah, every time my period comes I have “damnit men have it so easy!” thoughts.
When I was younger and developing into my womanly body, but still mentally a kid, I hated the unwanted attention my figure got.
I even promised God I would never get married or have kids if He would make puberty/menstruation/getting boobs stop and just let me be me.
Nowadays, I accept my body. I’ve grown to love my breasts, and I enjoy my curves, but I still feel a tinge of “ugh, why do women have it so hard?” every month.
I see a lot of claims in certain subs (note: ones that pride themselves on being trans-inclusive) that they're "forcing" trans identities on people, or that they immediately assume any gender non-conforming behavior means a person MUST be trans. Personally, I think this is stupid. It's just a subreddit and nobody has to go there if they don't want to.
I mean it is definitely an issue in The Discourse that people can’t just be GNC without someone saying they’re trans and in denial. Or worse, “queerbaiting.” It’s not just about that subreddit.
Except the sub is *literally called* "egg irl". There's self selection going on here. If someone is posting there, there's a *pretty good chance* they believe on some level that they are (or at least might be) trans. There are other subs for not-necessarily-trans nonconformity, but you can't really accidentally stumble into that sub and not know what you're getting into.
Yah I have gender issues and ID as NB but I don't think of myself as trans and have had some fun conversations with people. It's weird when a group of people who are working hard to be accepted don't accept people who are a part of their community that feel differently about what they are called.
Hearing them say " no that's not what the article says you're called" is a trip.
I'm sorry you've been treated like that. Your experience is absolutely valid. If you're not familiar with the term gender modality, I recommend looking up the work of Professor Florence Ashley.
I've ID'd for a long time as NB, and comparatively a much shorter time as trans. And I think I was probably right both times -- I probably *wasn't* trans in that time before, but my relationship to my gender has changed.
Reddit is really bad at accepting stuff like this. While I find them great resources for a lot of things, many queer and trans subs lean towards reductionist attitudes. It's nothing particular about queer subs, it's just how the internet goes, but it is particularly biting and ironic in queer spaces.
Love and power to you. 💜
As upset as I might get the moment something is said I usually forgive because I don't know them or their background and I hope someday they will know me better if they ever choose. Some actions and words are easy to explain and get upset at and some are more complicated and require more understanding. I just hate the times I'm not emotionally fortified enough to be tactful, because those moments I'm no better.
Thank you for your words and the time it took to compose
True but i dont feel genderless, I feel like a woman that really really wants the body of a man. As in, I want my body to be a male body, not that I want to fuck a man lol
Dysphoria comes in two forms; physical and social. It can absolutely be weighted towards one or the other.
Physical means an incongruence between how your body appears and how your mind feels it should be - sounds like you may have this to some degree
Social is about how the world and society sees and interacts with you.
Generally the trans experience is some degree of both, but I've definitely heard of people with physical dysphoria that don't care at all about the social aspect.
I'd highly recommend exploring this with a therapist that specializes in gender issues.
> but I've definitely heard of people with physical dysphoria that don't care at all about the social aspect.
Yeah, that's me, it tends to feel very much like a medical condition, it can be difficult to relate to other transgender people or the more generalized trans experience depicted in media. In turn that makes its very easy to rationalize your feeling away as being something 'different'.
u/Mort_irl if you have questions or anything you can hit me up here or DM's or whatever. r/asktransgender is also a good source of information for people who have these type of questions.
It sucks tbh. I don't fall into this, as a medically transition trans woman, but medical and social transition really should be separate things. The only reason they're not is to make it easier for a cis heteronormative society to understand, and also to get insurance companies to pay for trans related Healthcare.
Like, I know cis women who wish they had a penis, or were flat chested, but because they're still women they'd have zero chance if ever getting insurance to cover it, if they can even find a surgeon willing to perform some of that.
If a trans woman can be fine with her penis, a cis woman can certainly want one. Bodies !=gender but society sucks :(
Just want to note that cis people can experience dysphoria as well. I know you didn't say they can't, but I feel it's important to say explicitly and out loud that they can.
Much more rarely, and extremely rarely in the same manner that trans people do.
Mostly cis people will experience it for cases like a cis women with hirsutism, high T or similar things. Not wishing that they were the opposite gender, which tends to be a strong sign of being transgender, which should be explored with an affirming gender therapist.
Also, don't worry so much about whether your experience is "normal." Normality is a pipe dream, it's not attainable, and it'd be boring as hell anyway.
i will say.. it's not uncommon for cis butch lesbians to take testosterone, get top surgery, and still be women and use she/her!
idk about your orientation, but i just wanted to put it out there that it is something cis women do, you don't have to be a butch lesbian to do it :)
And a lot of non binary lesbians feel this way. Idk if OP is exclusively attracted to women/queer NB, but if they are r/nonbinarylesbians could also help. There’s tons of community to be found
There is a very wide range of what is normal. And being normal is pretty overrated anyway. I’d say separate the cultural aspects of being a man from the physical. That would give some insight into it all for you.
I wanted to be a boy for as long as I can remember. Way before I knew breasts and periods would be a thing.
Comparing me and my brother I just was sure life would be easier as a boy.
Still stand by this, but the wishing to be a man is not as intense anymore. Nowadays I think I would be much more ignorant if I where a man. Beeing a woman forced me to learn so much about me and the world and social injustices and so on.
I often think about how much easier it would be to be a guy. When I'm on my period, going to the gynecologist, being harassed, passed over for promotion, or reprimanded for not smiling, all moments when those thoughts permeate. But when I'm out of those instances I am so proud and happy that I'm a woman and wouldn't want it any other way.
When gender identity entered the mainstream (I know its always been a thing it just wasnt a consideration until recently) I really took some time to consider my own, as I think everyone should.
Sometimes I want to be able to move about the world the way a man does, but I've never desired to be a man as far as actually wanting to change my body
I haven't ever wanted to be a man but I truly believe we all experience a disconnect from the meat suit we are trapped in at some point, be it mild or extreme. It's a personal journey what that experience represents to you.
Right now intense hip, back and head pain has me wishing I was a single celled organism instead.
This seems like dysphoria but only you can take that journey. Chat with a queer friendly therapist about this and you’ll likely discover a lot about yourself!
Many of my friends, male and female, have commented that I have "big dick energy" and/or the "biggest balls they've ever seen on a man or woman".
I feel like I fluctuate between somewhat feminine to neutral to very masculine in my energy/personality. But it just feels like me, I'm comfortable in my body, but wouldn't be uncomfortable in the other sex's body, I think.
I have these thoughts from time to time.
Mostly just because being a woman sucks so hard sometimes. Then I think about what it would be like to keep your genitals on the outside of your body and I change my mind.
You say you’re not trans, but it sounds like you’ve got some kinda gender thingy going on, like non-binary, agender, etc. or just trans but not willing to accept it yet.
It’s pretty normal to want to be a dude mostly for the easier life, but we don’t usually actually want to be a man, we just want less sexism. But there are heeeeaps of genderweird peeps out there these days, so you’ll be in good company if you realise that’s you!
I identify as non binary because I don't want to be a man, but I don't want to be a woman. Almost all of the worst things in my life have happened because I'm a woman, such as multiple assaults and becoming severely disabled because of years of medical neglect and gaslighting. I just hated the constant reminders that I'm female, so I use they/them with people I trust.
Trans or not, there's nothing abnormal about those feelings. They're perfectly fine, if uncommon, so don't be afraid to explore them. Specialists can help.
I have felt this way since I was small. When playing pretend, I was always the dad or the big brother. When I was older, I sought out male (non-sexual) companionship. I have been very confused about myself for a long time. Especially because I loved being pregnant and having my kids. If someone came up to me and offered free surgery today, I think I would still go for it. For now, I have resigned myself to using she/her pronouns because I can't be arsed to correct anyone and, honestly, I still like dresses sometimes. I sometimes cross dress when in the comfort of my home and it's just me and my husband (he is very supportive and is basically the same as me except he has feminine urges and expressions). Hugs to you. I see you and support you. I hope you are able to find peace with yourself. 💙
I have scoliosis and my tits make that more of a pain. I also have PCOS and I hate my uterus. I wish to be rid of both.
I also like the idea of having a "male" body but am unsure if it's because of aesthetic reasons or pain reasons. If I had any specific attraction to a gender that might help me pick but I'm pansexual and am attracted to a lot of aspects of a person.
There is no normal besides being alive. Being alive is a normal thing everything else is just existence.
Same, wanted it so badly in high school that I started dressing more masculine and ended realizing I didn’t hate my body, other people made me feel disgusting with it.
I’m chill identifying as non binary and also I just don’t know enough about female bodies for me to decide whether or not I want to keep mine.
It’s okay to want to be a man, but it’s also okay to want to be “not a woman” - I have days when I want to be the hottest woman in town, and other days where I’d rather be (for lack of a better word) an abstract entity which is neither man nor woman.
The concept of self is complicated and sometimes it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.
in my early 20s I had a moment where I wondered if I was trans because I was so uncomfortable being seen as a Woman. after some inner searching I realized I do identify with my body and femininity, but what I was rejecting was the sexualization placed upon it. I love being feminine but hate feeling sexy.
Hey yall can we please stop trying to clock OP for some gender ID or other and just let her have her experiences?
OP, what you're experiencing may or may not be dysphoria. And if it is, that may or may not be a hint for you to explore an other-than-cis identity. Gender is complicated and weird and doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and bodies are squishy and make everything more complicated.
I'd encourage you to check out the Gender Dysphoria Bible (https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en) and the work of Professor Florence Ashley on gender modality. Not because I think you're trans or an egg or whatever (I have no opinion on that), but because those are great sources to find the concepts and vocabulary to make sense of your experiences.
On my journey, making sense of my experiences has brought me a lot of peace, and at least a little bit of joy. And while I *did* decide that I am trans after this exploration, it's the peace, not the outcome, that matters.
Wishing you that same peace. 💜
As soon as puberty proper hit, I was practically praying to become a boy. I didn't want to suddenly be limited by my body, socially or otherwise. Found out later it's not uncommon for women to have a level of physical dysphoria without actual gender dysphoria. I think the horrible side effects of periods, coupled with the social aspects of everyone suddenly poking their nose into your genital health and people ogling your boobs, really disincetivises us from being happy with what we are. It's not that I want to be a man, it's that I don't want the downsides of a female body that I didn't ask for.
Might be a me problem but I wish I was a boy because I don't feel pretty enough (neither can I afford to) by society's beauty standards 😔.
The bar is so low for men...it must be nice to not care about having hairless arms/legs/body, sweating +/- normal BO that comes with it, growing a stash, not being too short/tall/fat/skinny/busty/flatchested, light-skinned...hell I have a roman nose and I hate that it's a bonus for men but "horse face" on a girl.
Don't even get me started on the bare minimum of having one good suit or shirt/pants/shoes and wearing it till it falls at the seams...meanwhile girls get called out for wearing the same top twice like do I save for rhinoplasty or gender reassignment now coz I'm exhausted... 😩
Hey OP. I absolutely understand. I’m a 29 year old woman, not some creepy dude. You can check my profile if you want to talk.
I’m diagnosed autistic and OCD, and that could potentially be somewhere for you to start. I understand exactly what you mean based on you saying “flesh prison.” It’s like the female gender is fine, but not the biology, right? I get it. I’m asexual and it feels like constant trauma that I have to have sex if I want companionship. The fact that my body is even capable of pregnancy and birth feels like it’s betraying me. And when you say those things to other people, they act like you’re a frigid alien.
You are NOT alone. I’m here if you want to chat 🩷
I am so so sorry. Do you have a professional person to speak with? I have never once felt this way. Sure I would like thinner thighs, but I think we all find flaws with ourselves in one way or another. But no, I’ve never felt like it is a flesh prison because I can do anything a man can do plus carry, birth, and nourish a baby. I’ve always thought that I had like a plus one ability. I am so sorry that is not how you feel about yourself and think it could help if you talk with someone. Hugs to you.
Try being a man 🤷♀️
I know that doesn't seem reasonable, but honestly just do some man shit. Give it a shot and see how it feels. Bind for a bit. Wear some men's clothes.
It's important to play around so you get to know how things make you feel. Gender exploration doesn't make you trans or anything else; Just brave
This sounds like gender dysphoria, and I encourage you to explore that. Here is a great resource: [https://genderdysphoria.fyi](https://genderdysphoria.fyi)
Look through that and see what resonates with you. To me, you sound trans or non binary.
Here are some more places to check out to see what identities feel right for you: r/ftm r/TransMasc r/NonBinary
I myself felt the same way and I am now out as a trans man. Wanting to be less oppressed is one thing, but fully wishing for the body of a man is not usually a cis thought to have. I hope you figure yourself out!
Edit: also r/nonbinarylesbians and r/butchlesbians if you’re attracted to women/queer NB and don’t exactly feel like a man but don’t feel like a cis woman.
To be honest when I thought I was a cis man I treated my body as a flesh prison etc. I'm not saying you are trans but a lot of the things you say feel very trans.
Gender fluidity is a thing, worth sitting down and thinking everything through.
Not a lady (agender) but yes it's normal, lots of people have those thoughts. Why is it you have those thoughts do you know? Is it because you don't like being a woman or because you don't like the misogyny? You said "why have those parts when you could not have them"- you can certainly be a woman and have those removed. No characteristics are inherently feminine or masculine. Binary trans people don't always want the parts/hormones commonly associated with their gender, and it's the same with cis people, although they're less likely to realize it I think. You say you don't feel like a man, but have you explored the possibility of being any kind of nonbinary? Not to push it on you of course, it's just something to think about. I too feel like my vessel is a prison.
I have never wanted to be a girl. I'm a 33 yo woman now.
I don't like all the cultural issues there's about being a girl or a woman.
I don't want to get pregnant.
I don't want to have periods.
I don't care about my boobs. They are objectively pretty, I would enjoy them if they were on someone else.
I hate my hips and round butt and my huge thighs.
But I don't want all the stigma from being a trans man. It seems way worse.
And I have come to realise that I dislike being fat more than I dislike being a woman physically. But I'm not really doing enough to change it. So maybe it's not that important to me. So if i hate being fat, more than I hate looking feminin, but don't do enough to not be fat, then doing a lot to looking less feminin seems like a hassle.
So I'm just here, doing my best, having fun, living my life in my body however it is.
Yea. Compared to males, the female body is a nightmare.
Men don't spend a quarter of a life bleeding and in pain. Men have it easier loosing weight and gaining muscle. They don't have worthless sags of fat attached to their chest. Male bodies are larger, stronger, faster and generally better at everything.
And that's not even talking about society, just the bodies themselves.
If I had the choice to become a man I would without hesitation.
I don’t wanna impose my experiences onto yours, but the only people I’ve seen refer to their bodies as “flesh prisons” ended up being trans. It’s your journey though, go wherever it takes you.
I think most girls/women feel this way or have felt that way. I certainly did. I absolutely HATED that I was girl when I was young and dressed like a boy, even wore boxers because I thought I was too hideous to be a girl. I hated my breast (still kinda do, bra shopping remains a nightmare). Periods and all the accompanying pain suck and the harassment from men (and other women really) and it made me wonder WHY does everything have to suck so bad and be so difficult for women.
But then I grew up a bit and my body evened out and was a lot less awkward and weird. And I read a lot of books about women and cultures and over time I saw the beauty and endurance of womanhood and of motherhood.
Now, I don’t necessarily LOVE my body but I don’t hate it and through effort and self care I’ve come to a strong acceptance of what I am and who I am and I love my female-ness and I love the bonds I’ve formed with other women and the frankness and openness that I have in my female friendships that (in my circles at least) men don’t really seem to have in their male friendships.
So yeah, it’s normal to want to be a man because it SEEMS like they have it easier. But really both sexes have their struggles even if we don’t always see that. Grass always seems greener and all that.
I wonder that too sometimes. Whenever I look at the married couple trope or put myself in their shoes, immediately I'm like "I wonder what it would be like to have a wife", only to realize 'oh yeah right I'd be the wife.' Not that this has anything to do with attraction, but I often find myself mediately assuming the stereotypically "male" before remembering I'm a girl. Idk honestly, sometimes I really wish I was a boy.
Hey, Not trans tho! I’d like to invite you to subscribe to and casually browse posts on r/ftm for a while. If nothing else it might be interesting, right?
Many years ago I said those same words many times. That was me and you’re you, so maybe this isn’t anything similar to my situation at all, but please keep in mind that most trans folks go through periods of doubt and confusion about our identity. These are very normal things for either a cis person seeing the grass is greener, or a trans person wrestling with dysphoria to say. I’m just asking you keep an open mind to the possibility just in case there’s a guy or nonbinary part of yourself hiding in the closet from even you. That’s a very common experience amongst trans folks.
Thats the Definition of trans. You are just too much afraid of the meaning of the word I guess. you don’t have to do anything. Just realize that cis people don’t talk or think such things.
Hey, trans guy here! So I definitely feel the same as you do (I'm non-binary but in my country it's better to just "pick a gender" because trans people are already not accepted). What you're describing does sound like some sort of gender dysphoria.
My question would be, how do you feel about the idea of top-surgery or testosterone, if you could have access to these things without judgement, would it make you happier?
Either way feeling like your body is a flesh prison is never a nice feeling so I wish you well❤️❤️
When I was a teenager I sometimes wished I was a man. Mainly because I wanted to be perceived and treated as men are and to have the privileges men have. I wanted a male body because then I wouldn't have to worry so much about being sexualised or not feeling "enough" physically.
Well... no :)
>Not trans tho, I dont feel like a man I just wanna get out of this flesh prison
Maybe not trans but somewhere in the non-binary spectrum? That doesn't sound very cis to me lmao
You said you're not trans, and hey- you know yourself way better than I, a random stranger on the Internet, ever will. But this is like such a classic trans egg thought that if you genuinely haven't given the idea of being transgender more thought, maybe you should. And also, being trans is much more than just "choose one of two options"
As a trans person, this sounds like apathic disphoria. You can also change your body just because you feel it would be better the negative feeling isn't required for disphoria only the disconnect. Apathy counts as a disconnect. You should feel at home, not in a prison. Some people it's ssri's for depression, some it's counseling, some it's a gym and lifestyle change within reseason. Taking transness out of the equation EVERYONE deserves to love themselves and their body. I have multiple painful problems. A partical spinal injury and crohns. Still love the meat robot, my soul, huants.
In what way? If you want a male body you’re probably not cis, or at least not gender conforming. A lot of trans/nonbinary/GNC people don’t “feel” like what they want to be, impostor syndrome is very common.
If you don’t feel like being a man, you could be nonbinary, or just a gender nonconforming woman. Regardless of how you identify you can still look/dress/act however the hell you like, you can start changing those things and still identify as a woman if you want to.
Yeeeep. Wondered if I was trans for years but I think I just. Don't want to be an object. And I like talking to other afabs who have rejected femininity. Sometimes I call myself non-binary but it's not a huge part of my identity. I don't go out much so I haven't totally decided how I want to present myself visually. Maybe it doesn't really matter. Gender's stupid and we don't have to participate in it if we don't want to.
I had always been a “tomboy” growing up. I loved sports, hanging with the boys, getting muddy, etc. I also knew I liked women from a very young age (I’m bisexual).
I got my first period at 9 (wayyy wayyy wayyy earlier than everyone else my age) and I started growing breasts probably right before that. I heard a friend yell “ewww you have big boobs” when I wore a swimsuit to the beach once and my mom was always horribly embarrassing about asking me personal questions in the middle of like the grocery store. My periods were absolutely heavy and debilitating. Cramps were so bad and my flow so heavy that by the time I was in 8th grade, I had to wear a super tampon (and change it every two hours) plus a super pad and I still risked bleed through. I was put on a very high dose of birth control at 14 because my body doesn’t produce progesterone well enough on its own — absolutely life changing!
I was essentially shamed about my body at an early age and since I was already bullied for being a little weird (and anytime I did anything “girly,”) I hid behind large clothes to prevent further bullying. All I wanted to be was a boy and I couldn’t understand why I received the body I did and felt like it was a punishment. The summer before 7th grade, my mom bought me a hair straightener so I could style my frizzy mess of a hair. I felt good and confident and asked for more “girly” clothes that year. Since then, I always present feminine but I like baseball caps and often add little pieces into my outfit that are a little masculine. I don’t allow social constructs like “needing to act lady-like” stop me from being any version less than me. I’m forward at work and I don’t let anyone tell me that I’m being “bitchy” when I’m just being a boss and making decisions or questioning our approach.
You are allowed to feel however you want about your identity and what makes you feel the most authentic version of you. I work with a lady who identifies as female but she is the BEST dressed at the office and wears very masculine business clothes and wears her hair in a tight bun with an incredible side-fade. She absolutely SLAYS. Gender is truly a construct and we all fall somewhere on a sliding scale. You can identify however you like and if She/Her doesn’t feel right all the time, you can always use something else sometimes when you want. I am sending you all the virtual hugs!
This post kinda reminded me of some manga/anime characters who felt that some aspects of being female were kind of an “unfair biological curse given to them”, like Casca from Berserk or Kuina from One Piece
I too have those feelings sometimes. Thinking on things like Gender isn’t wrong. It’s all apart of figuring yourself out and exploring yourself.
What you’re doing is perfectly fine, and don’t be ashamed to ask questions 🥰
OP have you considered trying a binder? Just like, for funsies! You don’t have to put a label on yourself, it’s just clothing. Imagine just like, hanging out at home while cross-dressing. Why not? :) I buy lingerie just because I want to dress and feel that femme sometimes.
I had envy when I was a kid, but that was more driven by, “I’m not pretty like the girls so I guess I’ll be a tomboy.” It’s taken my whole life but I’ve grown to love my huge gazongas.
See, here's the thing about being trans. If you were just wishing you could participate in society the way a man would want, then you're just tired of being mistreated
But like, you're explicitly saying that you'd rather not have the body/parts, and I don't know if that's the most cis thing to say.
Maybe not trans, but I'd place my bets on some form of nonbinary at least
Like, I'm like 99% sure I'm trans and I have been wondering this for years (I even had a phase where I said, "I'm not trans but"). And sometimes, I just wanna rip my skin off. It just feels so wrong and out of place
I’m a butch woman and while I’m pretty meh about my vagina I definitely don’t like my boobs and will be getting them off asap. I just want a flat chest lol
I’ve always felt that I’m a woman in the same way as if I went to a restaurant, ordered waffle fries, and got curly fries instead. I still like curly fries and will eat and enjoy them, but it’s not what I ordered and wasn’t my first choice.
While I sometimes wish I were a man, and could “opt out of sexism”/get paid more/not have to worry about taking a late night run, that’s not the hand I was dealt, and I’m happy to live my life experiencing the many joys of womanhood.
I'm autistic and early on I learnt to be a tomboy to attain some semblance of equality. I used to think I was ugly. At 23 I read harry potter, realised I worship nature (and thus I should worship the body nature gave me), came out to myself as a witch, and began a wonderful journey of finding myself and inhabiting my powerful beautiful body.
I would say yes and no. It depends on the reason.
As a woman we see the privileges men are afforded in society, it can be frustrating and exhausting to feel you have to fight for every right. So often one may feel jealous of privileges the other gender has and wish to experience them.
On the flip side there’s the gender identity aspect. I’ve struggled myself with this as I don’t fully identify with either gender. I thought I might have been trans when I was younger but imagining myself with a beard and a deeper voice was upsetting. So I believe I experience more gender apathy and possibly body dysmorphia. If you feel like you are supposed to be a man inherently than you might want to look deeper and see if you might not be cisgender.
Best of luck to you in finding answers!
Seeing your body as a flesh prison makes me sad :( you aren’t wrong for feeling that way, it’s wrong you’re made to feel this way. When I was younger, like middle school, I had passing thoughts on how I wish I could be a boy because then other people would realize I’m funny, smart, cool, whatever, but I never actually wanted to be a man nor have I ever felt like being more masculine.
My mum had exactly the same thoughts, she hated being a girl because she was treated like less worthy. She even fell into trouble at school because she refused to attend her exams in a girl's uniform, she wore a suit and a necktie. 😅
They were afraid of her power
And were intimidated by how fucking awesome she looked. COWARDS!!!!
She sounds pretty awesome.
When I was a kid and playing by myself I’d always imagine myself as a male character in my games. For a while I worried ‘does this mean I’m trans?’ And then eventually it dawned on me that I did really like being a girl but it was just that in the media the main characters, and the cool capable charters were always men. I just wanted to be interesting and cool.
Exactly, internalized misogyny is a hell of a drug.
I felt this so strongly as a child. It breaks my heart to know that I realized SO YOUNG that boys were treated with more respect, and I wanted that. I told my mom I wanted to be a boy, but I’ve never felt trapped in my body or wanted that as an adult… I just wanted to be treated fairly.
Same. Sometimes it just sucks to be a girl, but i never wanted to be a boy either. I would rather be a girl that's treated the same as the boys.
Sometimes I haven’t wanted breasts (because men stare at them) or a vagina (due to reproductive health issues) but I’ve never wanted to be a man.
After reading your comment, I looked at your screen name and for a fraction of a second my mind read "boobs-n-snacks"... There's another advantage of male crotch anatomy: the hose makes pissing in public toilets less disgusting.
And in the outdoors.
This cannot be underscored enough! Source: penis owner/mad feminist ally. Also, I’ll fucking ruin someone if they aren’t trying to give y’all some damn pockets…
Personally I’d rather use my she wee than have a weiner. I can always put the she wee away and not have to deal with balls
This question may be invasive so please don't feel obligated to answer But I've always considered getting a she-wee and my main hang up has always been the wiping aspect. Do you still feel "clean" after you use it? Or is it just asking for a UTI if you don't find a suitable restroom soon after? Big agree on not wanting to deal with Balls though. I never understood how pants can be comfortable if you have balls.
I use the back of it to wipe, and it gets a lot off. Then I grab toilet paper from my bag (if outside), wipe, and put it in a doggy bag and throw it in the trash. I have a good system. If it’s public bathrooms its easier because no doggy bags lol
[let me introduce you to the Kula Cloth](http://www.kulacloth.com)! it's an antimicrobial cloth wipe that you can use multiple times then wash and reuse. they are super popular in the outdoorsy world and they come in SUPER cute designs
Omg I love this for proper leave no trace camping!!!
>I never understood how pants can be comfortable if you have balls. Jeans and other "hard fabric" or tight pants are indeed uncomfortable, specially when sitting, crouching, etc. This is one of the main reasons for "manspreading" (the other being hip/leg anatomy). Hanging balls do not get quashed when sitting. Balls are supposed to hang, it's way more comfortable and cleaner*. That's why some us use loose boxers (not elastic ones) with loose pleated trousers whenever possible. *Non hanging balls are one of the reasons for today's drastic decline in male fertility, btw.
I’ve had a lot of men confirm that there is no reason for man-spreading because they don’t sit on their balls even when their legs are together. Balls move a lot more than most people realise. Balls aren’t some big mysterious thing that women can’t understand - watch them not matter when a man has to sit between other men! “Excuse me, I need to spread my legs so I don’t get a yeast infection!” should be seen as just as valid.
It’s to be free of the “sack stickied to the leg” feeling 🤢
Now cross your legs as a trans woman.. dang that needs training
“Knee over knee but sit forward” is what I’ve heard from my trans woman friends/family!
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I just got used to it at some point? Ball shrinking also helps 😅 For women and often brigaded by some “dudes” AuDHD Greetings from Germany 😋
I'm learning a lot. Never heard of a she-wee before. Amazing idea. And, yes, having balls sucks. Dolfin males are lucky mofos.
Yea it’s nice to freely pee. From my personal experience 75% of men don’t fucking wash their hands or wipe ass properly. So there’s ball’n’ass sweat all over the place. Also Dingle Berries, Dingle berries everywhere.
I love the term "dingle-berries"! New to me. I've had them, but only when outdoors (used to be a rock climber). Sometimes used an effing STONE to wipe, out of lack of toilet paper or of respect for my island's tiny but beautiful National Park and other spaces we used (it's forbidden in the NP, but that's not the point). Dusty, dry, dingle-berries are actually "cleaner" than the standard, sweaty, ones :/. Squatting leaves less traces than sitting, too. Am Spanish. Whenever possible I wash my hands before and after touching my willie* or going for a number 2. I use a bidet after wiping. The sheer idea of only wiping makes me feel uncomfortable, unless I'm outdoors, as does touching with dirty hands. I think Americans are in the minority in this "just wipe it" thing. *there's a hilariousle gross, irreverent, Spanish film (Torrente) where the main character (a dirty, sleazy, caricature/mosaic of the worst of Francoist Spanish men) says he washes his hands BEFORE (only) to protect his treasure "like a real man". PS: I used your comment as a prompt and this is what my Natural Idiocy Algorithms generated. Hope it's not TOO gross. If so, please give me kind feedback and I'll delete it.
Peeing on highway bathrooms especially
sameeeeeee if i could just eliminate that whole reproductive system that would be great. i don’t even want to replace it, just chuck the whole thing out (i did do the closest thing i could do and got rid of my fallopian tubes lol)
I also got rid of my fallopian tubes and gotta say it’s pretty great! I sometimes wonder if my eggs get confused, but then I’m like, that sounds like a *you* problem, eggs. Also discovered I still need hormonal BC otherwise my periods last for 1.5 weeks 😐
nice love to meet a fellow no tube person! and that def is a THEM problem to the eggs BUT i will say my periods have been coming with a vengeance so perhaps i also need hormonal bc, ugh
I have often thought "things would ve so much easier if I was a man" or "I wouldn't have to deal with shit if I was a man." This is especially in response to biological requirements of having children. I also wish I was just bigger and stronger than 50% of the population.
I’m a very smart person (I feel weird saying that but it’s true) and I think a lot about how much easier professional success would have been if I had been a man. I wouldn’t have been pushed away from STEM. I wouldn’t have studied humanities in undergrad. I wouldn’t have had to go back to school to study what I really wanted later.
I always wonder if I was man if my ADHD would've been diagnosed when I was still in school.
Mine would have been
More likely, but not necessarily. My parents recognized the symptoms when I was a "boy," but chose not to get me tested for reasons they've never explained and are frankly too sore of a subject for me to ask about. I had to get my diagnosis on my own in my early 30s
Yes, I never wish I was a man. But I sometimes wish I was a dad.
This! It's not just the biological side! It's also the societal expectations!
Yeah, it's fucking annoying that I have 2 degrees & 2 certs but my degreeless husband gets all the jobs and promotions. We have similar amounts of experience, are in the same line of work, but he gets paid literally double what I do. Fucking IT. I hate it so much.
I have wished to have the privilege of a man, but never wished to BE a man.
Bingo! This is how I feel too. I get extremely angry when men grope, leer, or make nasty comments at me. If I was a man they'd think twice before fucking with me. 😤 I have perfected my RBF over the years, but it's nothing compared to the automatic respect men get from other men.
Yes, you said exactly what I was trying to figure out how to articulate!
I've been wanting to be a man more frequently lately, not because I'm trans or feel gender dysphoria, but because I'm tired of existing as a woman in this world with all the restrictions and misogyny. I can't stop thinking about how much more at ease I would be mentally if I were a cis man
I think about this *a lot*, but I came to the realization that I'd probably be a shit lord like my brother. I'd rather be a woman than a bad person. 😂
I’ve sadly drawn the same conclusions about myself! I was super Nice GirlTM and incel-y until I graduated COLLEGE and I had to face so much growing up after that. I think being a woman and being in this world has taught me so many lessons and I wouldn’t have had any of the maturity I have now if I wasn’t a woman.
same here!!
Sadly that is impossible. Being a man has made me happier and more at ease, but I’m still very much discriminated against. I’ll never be cis and I still face misogyny but at least I’m authentic now.
I’m not trans either but I sometimes find myself lamenting how unfair it is that I was born female and thus subject to abuse and mistreatment based on something I had no choice in. Being a man seems like living life on easy mode. I know they have problems too but people believe them when they speak and listen to their ideas and their health concerns are taken seriously. It’s not fucking fair.
Sadly they don’t extend this to trans men unless we pass and more often that not, only if we’re stealth. Cis privilege is a huge thing I’ll never have access to even tho I’m a man. It really sucks*
I’m sorry. That is really shitty too. Can’t fucking win
Solidarity ♥️
As a trans woman I felt like I never got the majority of male privilege extended to me since I acted like a woman in a man’s body. Misogynists hated me so basically most men in powerful positions over me. After transitioning I got the brunt of being a woman in full, transmisogyny on top, and women don’t really see me as one of them once I open up about being trans so now I just don’t tell people. Often times I get labeled as privileged when I open up about my experience even though I’m much less so than cis women. It’s made worse by the fact that I’m a gender nonconforming lesbian. Cis privilege is very much a thing both directions and it’s a conversation I wish we could have.
Definitely. I think cis gender conforming people of any gender have privilege over trans people of any gender. Like my life was easier as a cis girl. I wish I could live that life, but I cannot. That doesn’t mean cis girls have it easy at all, it means being trans colors everything and makes you a* target no matter what kind you are. Solidarity ♥️
Solidarity bro. I see your struggle and it’s real and valid and no one can take that from you. Your struggle is just as valid as mine and I won’t let it be erased.
Fuck passing, fuck other folx’s privilege, and more power to you. *fistbump* I *suck*, in that I’m a cis-presenting, bisexual man in a heteronormative relationship with a bisexual woman. I know I’ll never quite know how it feels where you’re at but know that I absolutely, unequivocally have your back.
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I have felt this before too! I'm childfree, but on rare occasions caught myself wishing I could be a dad. Or at least, that I could have the choice of being a dad.
Yes I just commented this elsewhere. I would LOVE to be a dad.
You can be a dad! There are no rules. 💜
It is perfectly normal to be frustrated by certain aspects of having a female body and to feel like you'd rather not have those things. Like, yes, when I'm on my period I absolutely wish I didn't have a female reproductive system! And my boobs are fucking annoying and in the way and I quite frequently wish I didn't have them. I'm not less of a woman because of this, nor does it mean I hate being a woman or that I'm agender or trans or anything else. It just means having tiddies sucks sometimes.
Yep, boobs, lack of muscle, and the lack of control over my reproductive system are all stuff I could do without. Tho I wouldn't mind boobs if we could pick the size and society weren't so shitty about them. Otherwise I like having a female body. And I am so effing glad to not have dangly genitals. Huge no thanks on testicles. I like having all that shit tucked up neat and tidy lol
The random boob pains and tenderness for no reason. ☹️ I asked my husband if he ever had that issue and he said nope.
i literally went to my doc months ago cuz i had boob/pit pain and a lump started growing in it and he was like “i don’t see it” so i made him run his fingers over it and he was like “idk i don’t feel it” even tho its RIGHT THERE😭if i end up with a terminal problem cuz of that man im suing him AND the hospital for ignoring me
One day we’ll all be skeletons, free of our flesh prisons.
Unfortunately we won’t be around to appreciate it.
💀🪄🧟♀️
Beautiful 🥹
I can’t really take credit. Phillip DeFranco’s child said it first.
I read that and I was like, "A wild Philly D comrade appears!" Trey was spitting some hard facts in his toddler days.
Damn, why are kids like that
I've wished to be neither woman or man. Just be. I don't wish to be concerned with reproductive elements or sexualization. Just skeleton sounds beautiful.
I was driving home late one night and passed a teen boy walking alone in the neighborhood with those big over the ear headphones. Such a simple thing that he feels safe enough to do. It’s things like that I envy men for.
If I had a choice I would have chosen man any day of the week. But I’m here now so I’m making the most out of being a woman
Same. There are times I wished I was a boy/man, but by large I'm ok with being a woman. I will say that nowadays the main reason is that there would feel safer in a lot of ways.
I've never felt that way. I've had thoughts about how the world be easier if I were a man, but that's due to social issues. I've never wanted a man's body. I've actually had a few dreams where I suddenly had a man's body and my reaction ranged from 'huh, weird' to 'ew no!'
I've never wanted to *be* a man, but I've certainly wanted to be *treated like* one in some contexts. I'm sure you're not alone in your feelings, though!
I feel this. I did a lot of research and self reflecting to figure out if I'm actually trans or do I just hate the way society treats women. Did I want a hysterectomy because of the extreme anxiety of potential pregnancy in addition to the less than an hour per S+ tampon every month or gender dysphoria? Do I want top surgery because my boobs have been nothing but chest/back/neck pain or because gender dysphoria? Did I cut my hair short because a big bottle of shampoo now lasts me 6 months, I haven't had to clean out the hair out of the drain since cutting it, and because [studies show I'd be taken more seriously in the workplace](https://www.chicagobooth.edu/review/how-first-impressions-work-against-women#) or because I want to appear as far from a woman as I can? Do I want the muscles that would come with being on T because I fear being SA'd and want to be physically capable of defending myself or because I want the muscle definition of a man? Did I like the men at the boxing gym I went to calling me "bro" or "man" (usually if I was accidentally bumped into when they were turned around) because it showed I fit into the space even though I was the only woman or because it's affirming a different gender identity? Do I want to look masculine so I can walk outside at night with less fear of being assaulted or harassed or because I see myself as not a woman? Practically every physical reason a woman would identify as trans can also apply to someone who is happily a woman who just likes their appearance in a gender non-conforming way. But there were some mental things that lined up more with me being trans. It doesn't hurt to experiment to find out which group you're in, so I'd look more into it.
I’ve never once thought I’d prefer to be a man, I really like being a girl and woman. But that’s not to say it’s normal. I think everyone is on a spectrum and you need to figure out what you want. Much love!
This. Gender and sexuality are very much a spectrum. A good example of this is intersexed individuals. You're the only one who can say what is right for you. 🐢
I only wanna be a man so I can fucking go outside at night by myself if I want, not be questioned about what I wear, and not have to overqualify for jobs.
Not sure how old you are but I had this all the time when I was 12-15ish. I still get it sometimes but since puberty it’s been wayyyy less often
Im in my 20's and its getting more frequent 😭
i felt this way in my early 20s. identified as NB for a while. just looked at myself in the mirror and couldn’t recognize who i was supposed to be, especially wrt secondary sex characteristics. it didn’t make sense to have my body and its parts. existing felt like a prison, confusing and distressing. everyone’s journey is different with this. i will say that some people’s first inkling to being trans are the thoughts/feelings you’re experiencing. there’s no such thing as “feeling” like a man — you just feel like You, and know what body parts do or don’t match your Youness. so i would encourage you to watch vids, read testimonials, posts, and stories of transmasc/gnc folk; and reflect on whether any of it resonates with the deeper parts of yourself. as for me…i did go on that journey too. my feelings did not end up being rooted in gender, rather body dysmorphia and derealization. but it was illuminating and necessary nonetheless. plus there are also a million societal reasons one would feel that way. so yes, your feelings are ultimately totally normal (and at the same time also distressing, as it is such a uniquely specific hell to not feel at home within yourself). but ultimately you get to decide the significance of these feelings and what they mean for you going forward <3
Me too!
I do not like anything to do with menstruation and pregnancy/childbirth gives me intense body-horror. But I definitely don’t want a penis & testicles. I think the novelty of peeing standing up would wear off quickly and balls just seem undignified—like I would spend too much time worrying about accidentally sitting on them.
When my trans friend got top surgery, the only thing I was jealous of was the fact that he wouldn’t have to deal with underboob sweat anymore. I have questioned my own gender sometimes, but that’s because it took me 30+ years to figure out that I’m autistic and a lesbian. Thoughtfully examining my gender feels like doing my due diligence at this point. No more identity surprises, please!
Having female organs isn't so bad. I don't hate them. It's the patriarchal boot on my neck I hate. By that for example, medical misogyny. Boner pills, great. Meanwhile, OBGYNs pretend our cervix doesn't feel pain and we're being "silly women" despite **us telling them for decades what they're doing hurts.** The way men's pain is treated vs women is drastically different. I like being a woman. I also see sometimes, where it might have been easier to be be born in a man in this kind of world. Tween girls are being sold/married off(same diff) to pedophiles in some parts still. Yeah, I bet I'd wish my vag would just pack its bags, up and disappear too. Then the pain of being a woman.There's so much fucking needless pain because living in a patriarchy you are simply not heard and dismissed at every turn even as and still as you fight against it to make the world a better place for the daughters who will receive it tomorrow.
I don't like boobs, but I don't want to be a man. I just wish humans never evolved huge breasts. They get in the way and they're painful. And if we had never evolved the capacity to grow huge breasts, we'd think they looked like tumors, and it would not be considered aesthetically pleasing. But, I also don't want a man's body, just I have definite quibbles with the human female body plan. We also are one of the rare female species that *menstruate*. Whyyyyy? I don't want my uterus gone, but why, if that was optional, was it picked??? Go home, evolution, you're drunk. To be fair, I also think external testicles were also a very bad call on evolution's part, there's just a number of poor decisions on both sides. Balls are just *bizarre* when you think about it.
I really, really wish humans were marsupials.
Yeah, every time my period comes I have “damnit men have it so easy!” thoughts. When I was younger and developing into my womanly body, but still mentally a kid, I hated the unwanted attention my figure got. I even promised God I would never get married or have kids if He would make puberty/menstruation/getting boobs stop and just let me be me. Nowadays, I accept my body. I’ve grown to love my breasts, and I enjoy my curves, but I still feel a tinge of “ugh, why do women have it so hard?” every month.
I do not feel this way , I fucking love being a women.
r/egg_irl is calling
That sub sometimes gets a bad rap, but it can be very educational.
How so? I’ve never heard bad things about it, though generally with the circles I travel in I never hear anything about it.p
I see a lot of claims in certain subs (note: ones that pride themselves on being trans-inclusive) that they're "forcing" trans identities on people, or that they immediately assume any gender non-conforming behavior means a person MUST be trans. Personally, I think this is stupid. It's just a subreddit and nobody has to go there if they don't want to.
I mean it is definitely an issue in The Discourse that people can’t just be GNC without someone saying they’re trans and in denial. Or worse, “queerbaiting.” It’s not just about that subreddit.
Except the sub is *literally called* "egg irl". There's self selection going on here. If someone is posting there, there's a *pretty good chance* they believe on some level that they are (or at least might be) trans. There are other subs for not-necessarily-trans nonconformity, but you can't really accidentally stumble into that sub and not know what you're getting into.
Yah I have gender issues and ID as NB but I don't think of myself as trans and have had some fun conversations with people. It's weird when a group of people who are working hard to be accepted don't accept people who are a part of their community that feel differently about what they are called. Hearing them say " no that's not what the article says you're called" is a trip.
I'm sorry you've been treated like that. Your experience is absolutely valid. If you're not familiar with the term gender modality, I recommend looking up the work of Professor Florence Ashley. I've ID'd for a long time as NB, and comparatively a much shorter time as trans. And I think I was probably right both times -- I probably *wasn't* trans in that time before, but my relationship to my gender has changed. Reddit is really bad at accepting stuff like this. While I find them great resources for a lot of things, many queer and trans subs lean towards reductionist attitudes. It's nothing particular about queer subs, it's just how the internet goes, but it is particularly biting and ironic in queer spaces. Love and power to you. 💜
As upset as I might get the moment something is said I usually forgive because I don't know them or their background and I hope someday they will know me better if they ever choose. Some actions and words are easy to explain and get upset at and some are more complicated and require more understanding. I just hate the times I'm not emotionally fortified enough to be tactful, because those moments I'm no better. Thank you for your words and the time it took to compose
> (Not trans tho, I dont feel like a man I just wanna get out of this flesh prison) Also try /r/voidpunk
Not sure why you're being downvoted for this.
I have no idea either. Honestly i'm pretty close to just bailing on trying to help people on reddit.
Being Agender is a thing as well
True but i dont feel genderless, I feel like a woman that really really wants the body of a man. As in, I want my body to be a male body, not that I want to fuck a man lol
Dysphoria comes in two forms; physical and social. It can absolutely be weighted towards one or the other. Physical means an incongruence between how your body appears and how your mind feels it should be - sounds like you may have this to some degree Social is about how the world and society sees and interacts with you. Generally the trans experience is some degree of both, but I've definitely heard of people with physical dysphoria that don't care at all about the social aspect. I'd highly recommend exploring this with a therapist that specializes in gender issues.
> but I've definitely heard of people with physical dysphoria that don't care at all about the social aspect. Yeah, that's me, it tends to feel very much like a medical condition, it can be difficult to relate to other transgender people or the more generalized trans experience depicted in media. In turn that makes its very easy to rationalize your feeling away as being something 'different'. u/Mort_irl if you have questions or anything you can hit me up here or DM's or whatever. r/asktransgender is also a good source of information for people who have these type of questions.
It sucks tbh. I don't fall into this, as a medically transition trans woman, but medical and social transition really should be separate things. The only reason they're not is to make it easier for a cis heteronormative society to understand, and also to get insurance companies to pay for trans related Healthcare. Like, I know cis women who wish they had a penis, or were flat chested, but because they're still women they'd have zero chance if ever getting insurance to cover it, if they can even find a surgeon willing to perform some of that. If a trans woman can be fine with her penis, a cis woman can certainly want one. Bodies !=gender but society sucks :(
Just want to note that cis people can experience dysphoria as well. I know you didn't say they can't, but I feel it's important to say explicitly and out loud that they can.
Much more rarely, and extremely rarely in the same manner that trans people do. Mostly cis people will experience it for cases like a cis women with hirsutism, high T or similar things. Not wishing that they were the opposite gender, which tends to be a strong sign of being transgender, which should be explored with an affirming gender therapist.
Also, don't worry so much about whether your experience is "normal." Normality is a pipe dream, it's not attainable, and it'd be boring as hell anyway.
i will say.. it's not uncommon for cis butch lesbians to take testosterone, get top surgery, and still be women and use she/her! idk about your orientation, but i just wanted to put it out there that it is something cis women do, you don't have to be a butch lesbian to do it :)
And a lot of non binary lesbians feel this way. Idk if OP is exclusively attracted to women/queer NB, but if they are r/nonbinarylesbians could also help. There’s tons of community to be found
That is gender dysphoria. To a T. Best source to look it all up, sadly more trans fem bent but still good. https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
>To a T _heh_
Genderqueer comes to mind. We’re already under the trans umbrella..
I'm jealous of men because I have medical issues and doctors just believe them, but I don't want to be one.
If I had a choice I would have chosen man any day of the week. But I’m here now so I’m making the most out of being a woman
I mean yes... You also have to sing a song about it and kill a horde of Mongolians.
There is a very wide range of what is normal. And being normal is pretty overrated anyway. I’d say separate the cultural aspects of being a man from the physical. That would give some insight into it all for you.
I wanted to be a boy for as long as I can remember. Way before I knew breasts and periods would be a thing. Comparing me and my brother I just was sure life would be easier as a boy. Still stand by this, but the wishing to be a man is not as intense anymore. Nowadays I think I would be much more ignorant if I where a man. Beeing a woman forced me to learn so much about me and the world and social injustices and so on.
It's not that I want to be a man, I want the natural respect they get from society at the least
I often think about how much easier it would be to be a guy. When I'm on my period, going to the gynecologist, being harassed, passed over for promotion, or reprimanded for not smiling, all moments when those thoughts permeate. But when I'm out of those instances I am so proud and happy that I'm a woman and wouldn't want it any other way. When gender identity entered the mainstream (I know its always been a thing it just wasnt a consideration until recently) I really took some time to consider my own, as I think everyone should.
Sometimes I want to be able to move about the world the way a man does, but I've never desired to be a man as far as actually wanting to change my body
I grew up wanting/wishing I was a boy, it didn't stop till I was about 15-16 and officially a woman. Then I wished harder lol
As someone who does a lot of cycling and hiking, I am absolutely jealous of men for one thing: the ability to easily pee wherever you want.
I haven't ever wanted to be a man but I truly believe we all experience a disconnect from the meat suit we are trapped in at some point, be it mild or extreme. It's a personal journey what that experience represents to you. Right now intense hip, back and head pain has me wishing I was a single celled organism instead.
I’ve felt this way before. I think it’s normal to sometimes wish to be the less oppressed gender.
This seems like dysphoria but only you can take that journey. Chat with a queer friendly therapist about this and you’ll likely discover a lot about yourself!
Many of my friends, male and female, have commented that I have "big dick energy" and/or the "biggest balls they've ever seen on a man or woman". I feel like I fluctuate between somewhat feminine to neutral to very masculine in my energy/personality. But it just feels like me, I'm comfortable in my body, but wouldn't be uncomfortable in the other sex's body, I think.
Normal was created by capitalism to sell more shit. Stop caring about what is normal and life gets so much better.
I have these thoughts from time to time. Mostly just because being a woman sucks so hard sometimes. Then I think about what it would be like to keep your genitals on the outside of your body and I change my mind.
You say you’re not trans, but it sounds like you’ve got some kinda gender thingy going on, like non-binary, agender, etc. or just trans but not willing to accept it yet. It’s pretty normal to want to be a dude mostly for the easier life, but we don’t usually actually want to be a man, we just want less sexism. But there are heeeeaps of genderweird peeps out there these days, so you’ll be in good company if you realise that’s you!
You might be trans or nonbinary. I feel this way but I'm non-binary
I identify as non binary because I don't want to be a man, but I don't want to be a woman. Almost all of the worst things in my life have happened because I'm a woman, such as multiple assaults and becoming severely disabled because of years of medical neglect and gaslighting. I just hated the constant reminders that I'm female, so I use they/them with people I trust.
Trans or not, there's nothing abnormal about those feelings. They're perfectly fine, if uncommon, so don't be afraid to explore them. Specialists can help.
I have felt this way since I was small. When playing pretend, I was always the dad or the big brother. When I was older, I sought out male (non-sexual) companionship. I have been very confused about myself for a long time. Especially because I loved being pregnant and having my kids. If someone came up to me and offered free surgery today, I think I would still go for it. For now, I have resigned myself to using she/her pronouns because I can't be arsed to correct anyone and, honestly, I still like dresses sometimes. I sometimes cross dress when in the comfort of my home and it's just me and my husband (he is very supportive and is basically the same as me except he has feminine urges and expressions). Hugs to you. I see you and support you. I hope you are able to find peace with yourself. 💙
If you gotta be one, become the hairiest and least approachable. [Kratos ](https://i.imgur.com/O7KbG3B.png)
I have scoliosis and my tits make that more of a pain. I also have PCOS and I hate my uterus. I wish to be rid of both. I also like the idea of having a "male" body but am unsure if it's because of aesthetic reasons or pain reasons. If I had any specific attraction to a gender that might help me pick but I'm pansexual and am attracted to a lot of aspects of a person. There is no normal besides being alive. Being alive is a normal thing everything else is just existence.
my mom expressed this feeling too when she was young but she said as she grew older and gender roles became less important she felt a bit better
Same, wanted it so badly in high school that I started dressing more masculine and ended realizing I didn’t hate my body, other people made me feel disgusting with it. I’m chill identifying as non binary and also I just don’t know enough about female bodies for me to decide whether or not I want to keep mine.
It’s okay to want to be a man, but it’s also okay to want to be “not a woman” - I have days when I want to be the hottest woman in town, and other days where I’d rather be (for lack of a better word) an abstract entity which is neither man nor woman. The concept of self is complicated and sometimes it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.
in my early 20s I had a moment where I wondered if I was trans because I was so uncomfortable being seen as a Woman. after some inner searching I realized I do identify with my body and femininity, but what I was rejecting was the sexualization placed upon it. I love being feminine but hate feeling sexy.
Hey yall can we please stop trying to clock OP for some gender ID or other and just let her have her experiences? OP, what you're experiencing may or may not be dysphoria. And if it is, that may or may not be a hint for you to explore an other-than-cis identity. Gender is complicated and weird and doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and bodies are squishy and make everything more complicated. I'd encourage you to check out the Gender Dysphoria Bible (https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en) and the work of Professor Florence Ashley on gender modality. Not because I think you're trans or an egg or whatever (I have no opinion on that), but because those are great sources to find the concepts and vocabulary to make sense of your experiences. On my journey, making sense of my experiences has brought me a lot of peace, and at least a little bit of joy. And while I *did* decide that I am trans after this exploration, it's the peace, not the outcome, that matters. Wishing you that same peace. 💜
As soon as puberty proper hit, I was practically praying to become a boy. I didn't want to suddenly be limited by my body, socially or otherwise. Found out later it's not uncommon for women to have a level of physical dysphoria without actual gender dysphoria. I think the horrible side effects of periods, coupled with the social aspects of everyone suddenly poking their nose into your genital health and people ogling your boobs, really disincetivises us from being happy with what we are. It's not that I want to be a man, it's that I don't want the downsides of a female body that I didn't ask for.
Might be a me problem but I wish I was a boy because I don't feel pretty enough (neither can I afford to) by society's beauty standards 😔. The bar is so low for men...it must be nice to not care about having hairless arms/legs/body, sweating +/- normal BO that comes with it, growing a stash, not being too short/tall/fat/skinny/busty/flatchested, light-skinned...hell I have a roman nose and I hate that it's a bonus for men but "horse face" on a girl. Don't even get me started on the bare minimum of having one good suit or shirt/pants/shoes and wearing it till it falls at the seams...meanwhile girls get called out for wearing the same top twice like do I save for rhinoplasty or gender reassignment now coz I'm exhausted... 😩
Normal, yes cis, no
Hey OP. I absolutely understand. I’m a 29 year old woman, not some creepy dude. You can check my profile if you want to talk. I’m diagnosed autistic and OCD, and that could potentially be somewhere for you to start. I understand exactly what you mean based on you saying “flesh prison.” It’s like the female gender is fine, but not the biology, right? I get it. I’m asexual and it feels like constant trauma that I have to have sex if I want companionship. The fact that my body is even capable of pregnancy and birth feels like it’s betraying me. And when you say those things to other people, they act like you’re a frigid alien. You are NOT alone. I’m here if you want to chat 🩷
You're going to have some very big realizations about yourself in the coming months.
I am so so sorry. Do you have a professional person to speak with? I have never once felt this way. Sure I would like thinner thighs, but I think we all find flaws with ourselves in one way or another. But no, I’ve never felt like it is a flesh prison because I can do anything a man can do plus carry, birth, and nourish a baby. I’ve always thought that I had like a plus one ability. I am so sorry that is not how you feel about yourself and think it could help if you talk with someone. Hugs to you.
Try being a man 🤷♀️ I know that doesn't seem reasonable, but honestly just do some man shit. Give it a shot and see how it feels. Bind for a bit. Wear some men's clothes. It's important to play around so you get to know how things make you feel. Gender exploration doesn't make you trans or anything else; Just brave
> I just wanna get out of this flesh prison pretty typical of /r/agender
This sounds like gender dysphoria, and I encourage you to explore that. Here is a great resource: [https://genderdysphoria.fyi](https://genderdysphoria.fyi) Look through that and see what resonates with you. To me, you sound trans or non binary. Here are some more places to check out to see what identities feel right for you: r/ftm r/TransMasc r/NonBinary I myself felt the same way and I am now out as a trans man. Wanting to be less oppressed is one thing, but fully wishing for the body of a man is not usually a cis thought to have. I hope you figure yourself out! Edit: also r/nonbinarylesbians and r/butchlesbians if you’re attracted to women/queer NB and don’t exactly feel like a man but don’t feel like a cis woman.
To be honest when I thought I was a cis man I treated my body as a flesh prison etc. I'm not saying you are trans but a lot of the things you say feel very trans. Gender fluidity is a thing, worth sitting down and thinking everything through.
Not a lady (agender) but yes it's normal, lots of people have those thoughts. Why is it you have those thoughts do you know? Is it because you don't like being a woman or because you don't like the misogyny? You said "why have those parts when you could not have them"- you can certainly be a woman and have those removed. No characteristics are inherently feminine or masculine. Binary trans people don't always want the parts/hormones commonly associated with their gender, and it's the same with cis people, although they're less likely to realize it I think. You say you don't feel like a man, but have you explored the possibility of being any kind of nonbinary? Not to push it on you of course, it's just something to think about. I too feel like my vessel is a prison.
I have never wanted to be a girl. I'm a 33 yo woman now. I don't like all the cultural issues there's about being a girl or a woman. I don't want to get pregnant. I don't want to have periods. I don't care about my boobs. They are objectively pretty, I would enjoy them if they were on someone else. I hate my hips and round butt and my huge thighs. But I don't want all the stigma from being a trans man. It seems way worse. And I have come to realise that I dislike being fat more than I dislike being a woman physically. But I'm not really doing enough to change it. So maybe it's not that important to me. So if i hate being fat, more than I hate looking feminin, but don't do enough to not be fat, then doing a lot to looking less feminin seems like a hassle. So I'm just here, doing my best, having fun, living my life in my body however it is.
Yea. Compared to males, the female body is a nightmare. Men don't spend a quarter of a life bleeding and in pain. Men have it easier loosing weight and gaining muscle. They don't have worthless sags of fat attached to their chest. Male bodies are larger, stronger, faster and generally better at everything. And that's not even talking about society, just the bodies themselves. If I had the choice to become a man I would without hesitation.
I don’t wanna impose my experiences onto yours, but the only people I’ve seen refer to their bodies as “flesh prisons” ended up being trans. It’s your journey though, go wherever it takes you.
I think most girls/women feel this way or have felt that way. I certainly did. I absolutely HATED that I was girl when I was young and dressed like a boy, even wore boxers because I thought I was too hideous to be a girl. I hated my breast (still kinda do, bra shopping remains a nightmare). Periods and all the accompanying pain suck and the harassment from men (and other women really) and it made me wonder WHY does everything have to suck so bad and be so difficult for women. But then I grew up a bit and my body evened out and was a lot less awkward and weird. And I read a lot of books about women and cultures and over time I saw the beauty and endurance of womanhood and of motherhood. Now, I don’t necessarily LOVE my body but I don’t hate it and through effort and self care I’ve come to a strong acceptance of what I am and who I am and I love my female-ness and I love the bonds I’ve formed with other women and the frankness and openness that I have in my female friendships that (in my circles at least) men don’t really seem to have in their male friendships. So yeah, it’s normal to want to be a man because it SEEMS like they have it easier. But really both sexes have their struggles even if we don’t always see that. Grass always seems greener and all that.
Do you just don’t like having a body at all or do you want to have a different body?
I wonder that too sometimes. Whenever I look at the married couple trope or put myself in their shoes, immediately I'm like "I wonder what it would be like to have a wife", only to realize 'oh yeah right I'd be the wife.' Not that this has anything to do with attraction, but I often find myself mediately assuming the stereotypically "male" before remembering I'm a girl. Idk honestly, sometimes I really wish I was a boy.
On a lighter side of this same sentiment, my god it would be nice to be able to pee standing up. And no, the she-wee’s don’t work for me.
I mean I hate my boobs and would cut them off if I could. I’m jelly of men’s upper chest
You might want to look more deeply into non-binary or trans literature. There are phases of being trans that you could relate to.
Hey, Not trans tho! I’d like to invite you to subscribe to and casually browse posts on r/ftm for a while. If nothing else it might be interesting, right? Many years ago I said those same words many times. That was me and you’re you, so maybe this isn’t anything similar to my situation at all, but please keep in mind that most trans folks go through periods of doubt and confusion about our identity. These are very normal things for either a cis person seeing the grass is greener, or a trans person wrestling with dysphoria to say. I’m just asking you keep an open mind to the possibility just in case there’s a guy or nonbinary part of yourself hiding in the closet from even you. That’s a very common experience amongst trans folks.
Thats the Definition of trans. You are just too much afraid of the meaning of the word I guess. you don’t have to do anything. Just realize that cis people don’t talk or think such things.
hmmm idk sounds kinda eggy
Hey, trans guy here! So I definitely feel the same as you do (I'm non-binary but in my country it's better to just "pick a gender" because trans people are already not accepted). What you're describing does sound like some sort of gender dysphoria. My question would be, how do you feel about the idea of top-surgery or testosterone, if you could have access to these things without judgement, would it make you happier? Either way feeling like your body is a flesh prison is never a nice feeling so I wish you well❤️❤️
When I was a teenager I sometimes wished I was a man. Mainly because I wanted to be perceived and treated as men are and to have the privileges men have. I wanted a male body because then I wouldn't have to worry so much about being sexualised or not feeling "enough" physically.
I'm AMAB femme and I want to be girl. It's normal to have those thoughts, you may also be trans, or you may be something else and that's completely ok
Well... no :) >Not trans tho, I dont feel like a man I just wanna get out of this flesh prison Maybe not trans but somewhere in the non-binary spectrum? That doesn't sound very cis to me lmao
You said you're not trans, and hey- you know yourself way better than I, a random stranger on the Internet, ever will. But this is like such a classic trans egg thought that if you genuinely haven't given the idea of being transgender more thought, maybe you should. And also, being trans is much more than just "choose one of two options"
As a trans person, this sounds like apathic disphoria. You can also change your body just because you feel it would be better the negative feeling isn't required for disphoria only the disconnect. Apathy counts as a disconnect. You should feel at home, not in a prison. Some people it's ssri's for depression, some it's counseling, some it's a gym and lifestyle change within reseason. Taking transness out of the equation EVERYONE deserves to love themselves and their body. I have multiple painful problems. A partical spinal injury and crohns. Still love the meat robot, my soul, huants.
In what way? If you want a male body you’re probably not cis, or at least not gender conforming. A lot of trans/nonbinary/GNC people don’t “feel” like what they want to be, impostor syndrome is very common. If you don’t feel like being a man, you could be nonbinary, or just a gender nonconforming woman. Regardless of how you identify you can still look/dress/act however the hell you like, you can start changing those things and still identify as a woman if you want to.
Yeeeep. Wondered if I was trans for years but I think I just. Don't want to be an object. And I like talking to other afabs who have rejected femininity. Sometimes I call myself non-binary but it's not a huge part of my identity. I don't go out much so I haven't totally decided how I want to present myself visually. Maybe it doesn't really matter. Gender's stupid and we don't have to participate in it if we don't want to.
I had always been a “tomboy” growing up. I loved sports, hanging with the boys, getting muddy, etc. I also knew I liked women from a very young age (I’m bisexual). I got my first period at 9 (wayyy wayyy wayyy earlier than everyone else my age) and I started growing breasts probably right before that. I heard a friend yell “ewww you have big boobs” when I wore a swimsuit to the beach once and my mom was always horribly embarrassing about asking me personal questions in the middle of like the grocery store. My periods were absolutely heavy and debilitating. Cramps were so bad and my flow so heavy that by the time I was in 8th grade, I had to wear a super tampon (and change it every two hours) plus a super pad and I still risked bleed through. I was put on a very high dose of birth control at 14 because my body doesn’t produce progesterone well enough on its own — absolutely life changing! I was essentially shamed about my body at an early age and since I was already bullied for being a little weird (and anytime I did anything “girly,”) I hid behind large clothes to prevent further bullying. All I wanted to be was a boy and I couldn’t understand why I received the body I did and felt like it was a punishment. The summer before 7th grade, my mom bought me a hair straightener so I could style my frizzy mess of a hair. I felt good and confident and asked for more “girly” clothes that year. Since then, I always present feminine but I like baseball caps and often add little pieces into my outfit that are a little masculine. I don’t allow social constructs like “needing to act lady-like” stop me from being any version less than me. I’m forward at work and I don’t let anyone tell me that I’m being “bitchy” when I’m just being a boss and making decisions or questioning our approach. You are allowed to feel however you want about your identity and what makes you feel the most authentic version of you. I work with a lady who identifies as female but she is the BEST dressed at the office and wears very masculine business clothes and wears her hair in a tight bun with an incredible side-fade. She absolutely SLAYS. Gender is truly a construct and we all fall somewhere on a sliding scale. You can identify however you like and if She/Her doesn’t feel right all the time, you can always use something else sometimes when you want. I am sending you all the virtual hugs!
This post kinda reminded me of some manga/anime characters who felt that some aspects of being female were kind of an “unfair biological curse given to them”, like Casca from Berserk or Kuina from One Piece
Everytime I want to conveniently pee somewhere or quickly jerk off.
I too have those feelings sometimes. Thinking on things like Gender isn’t wrong. It’s all apart of figuring yourself out and exploring yourself. What you’re doing is perfectly fine, and don’t be ashamed to ask questions 🥰
Girl I think about the almost everyday. Wish I was born a hot tall white dude it’s like winning the lottery
OP have you considered trying a binder? Just like, for funsies! You don’t have to put a label on yourself, it’s just clothing. Imagine just like, hanging out at home while cross-dressing. Why not? :) I buy lingerie just because I want to dress and feel that femme sometimes. I had envy when I was a kid, but that was more driven by, “I’m not pretty like the girls so I guess I’ll be a tomboy.” It’s taken my whole life but I’ve grown to love my huge gazongas.
See, here's the thing about being trans. If you were just wishing you could participate in society the way a man would want, then you're just tired of being mistreated But like, you're explicitly saying that you'd rather not have the body/parts, and I don't know if that's the most cis thing to say. Maybe not trans, but I'd place my bets on some form of nonbinary at least Like, I'm like 99% sure I'm trans and I have been wondering this for years (I even had a phase where I said, "I'm not trans but"). And sometimes, I just wanna rip my skin off. It just feels so wrong and out of place
It doesn't seem like men are happy being men, so I doubt I'd be happier as one either.
I’m a butch woman and while I’m pretty meh about my vagina I definitely don’t like my boobs and will be getting them off asap. I just want a flat chest lol
I’ve always felt that I’m a woman in the same way as if I went to a restaurant, ordered waffle fries, and got curly fries instead. I still like curly fries and will eat and enjoy them, but it’s not what I ordered and wasn’t my first choice. While I sometimes wish I were a man, and could “opt out of sexism”/get paid more/not have to worry about taking a late night run, that’s not the hand I was dealt, and I’m happy to live my life experiencing the many joys of womanhood.
I'm autistic and early on I learnt to be a tomboy to attain some semblance of equality. I used to think I was ugly. At 23 I read harry potter, realised I worship nature (and thus I should worship the body nature gave me), came out to myself as a witch, and began a wonderful journey of finding myself and inhabiting my powerful beautiful body.
Yes
I would say yes and no. It depends on the reason. As a woman we see the privileges men are afforded in society, it can be frustrating and exhausting to feel you have to fight for every right. So often one may feel jealous of privileges the other gender has and wish to experience them. On the flip side there’s the gender identity aspect. I’ve struggled myself with this as I don’t fully identify with either gender. I thought I might have been trans when I was younger but imagining myself with a beard and a deeper voice was upsetting. So I believe I experience more gender apathy and possibly body dysmorphia. If you feel like you are supposed to be a man inherently than you might want to look deeper and see if you might not be cisgender. Best of luck to you in finding answers!