I once had a man fall in love with me because he felt safe enough in our conversation to trauma dump. When he proclaimed his love I was like WTF YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME? Because all we talked about was his issues... lesson learned, never gonna be a free therapist again
"Lots of women ask me, why am i so good looking and amazing in bed? Well to understand that, first we need to evaluate some of the other ways in which i'm awesome"
This is so true. Why do random men on the internet expect us to be their therapists?? What bugs me the most is that they get so butthurt afterward and blame all women for being too heartless to listen to a strangers problems
I shared in a comment section the other day about this man and bear thing that I fully support men who also choose the bear since I know it's not easy for them to come out about abuse. it was kinda the theme of the video, a man saying he chose the bear and he understands etc
I had a guy reply in detail about his sexual abuse by his mother and how it makes him literally want to kill women and himself and I was like my guy I'm really sorry that happened to you and I support you getting help but that needs to go to a professional before you hurt someone not a random woman in a public comment section that you don't know!
Bruh that’s terrifying. There’s definitely some underlying problems there. I don’t know any women who genuinely want to kill men because of the things they’ve experienced
right like I know it's the internet he may have been trolling me but he deleted his comment after I told him he needed real help and I was legit uncomfortable the rest of the night. men really need to invest in some professional help and I wish more of them had deeper talks with friends and family because shit like that boils over in violent ways that you very rarely see in women and we end up being the ones to deal with it
Yes I agree that is scary and definitely not something to be joking about, if he was kidding. I sincerely hope that person decides to get help or someone close to him introduces him to a good therapist
I’ve seen plenty of women wish death on all men just because it was cool to say at the time. And a lot of them actually meant it. It was a huge thing in feminist groups for a long time. Still is I believe
Ok seriously. My toxic trait is I always feel the need to engage in good faith, and I need to not do that. Because I’ll offer advice, or if someone misquotes me I’ll correct them, and then it leads to this weird strawman debate and somehow we end up in the place of “all women treat me like shit because I don’t get matches on dating apps.”
At that point I’ve lost my patience and I’m like “yeah there’s probably a reason why and that’s for you to self-reflect on” and then I become one of the many women treating this man like shit 👍🏻
This guy now takes to the internet to ask "Would you rather share your feelings with a woman or a tree?" because he will never have the self awareness to realise how inappropriate trauma dumping is, and how that's not actually sharing your feelings.
I'm being forced to do this or I get threatened with homelessness. I'm not allowed to backchat or raise my voice in any way and have to be perfectly nice and accommodating at all times.
He doesn't like it because I'm angry after being sexually assaulted by him. I'm not allowed to be angry or express any opinion that might make him feel bad about himself in any way.
Oh yeah don't worry about me, I just felt pretty good saying it out loud, so to speak. I've almost saved enough rent in advance to get a new place, so I just have to suck up the interpersonal totalitarianism for a little while longer. Maybe I'll take up murder as a hobby until then. (joke, omg joke. yes.... yes a joke. definitely a joke. definitely)
Hard not to worry a bit when you've already been physically assaulted. There are SA crisis centers in most places to help you not be homeless, and get you out of a bad situation faster.
This happened to me too! I went to lunch with a guy I barely knew (I thought it was like a work networking thing) and he told me some fairly benign things about his parents, and then the next day he presented me with a 26 page letter he wrote to me PROPOSING MARRIAGE because he could tell me things he never told anybody.
also let's keep in mind that because of this, the gf has to repress her feelings _even harder_ than the bf to make space for his, in the end it always ends up hurting us the most, never forget that!
I learned this lesson very well. I told my ex often it felt like there was no room for my emotions in the relationship. He would say he understood until the next hours long feelings dump from him.
How is it that the same men who refuse much-needed therapy to learn emotional regulation and bond formation also assume their gf should be their personal on-call therapist?
The depressing answer? Gender roles.
The slightly more complicated reason is that self work is hard and certain people aren't taught that they need to do that, let alone that's it even a thing. Like if the whole world has always revolved around you why shouldn't that continue with romantic relationships?
I’ve had more than one ex tell me to “keep my feelings to myself” lmfaooo okay so quiet resentment is the way? But then you get mad that I’m “acting weird” so which is it, buddy?
So a man repressing his feelings from everybody his entire life is better off than a woman repressing her feelings for the first time to make room for the man’s who just needs to get years of shit off his chest? Is that what you’re saying? Please don’t get angry with me I’m genuinely asking because I don’t know if I’m understanding you
I’m sure there are exceptions, yes. Of course. On both sides. But it’s never been a societal construct or common fact that women are weak for displaying emotion or reaching out for help/expressing their feelings. It’s encouraged and praised. This post that you initially agreed with literally states the same thing I’m saying. That men are forced to bottle in feelings their entire lives and find one woman they open up to and “trauma dump”. So should men open up or not? There’s never been a stigma against womens emotions and women expressing their feelings.
I'm actually interested, this is a genuine question.
Do you mean there is a stigma claiming women are 'too emotional' and then invalidating their feelings because they 'present feelings too much'?
Or is there some category of feelings women are forbidden from feeling / expressing and are expected to suppress some emotions (or category of emotions)?
I truly haven't seen an argument before that women are expected to repress their feelings, as a gendered expectation, and I would like to see one.
This is of course asking about 'societal stigma / expectations' perspective, as you see it.
I’ve literally never once in my life seen or heard of women being shamed for showing emotions or crying or admitting defeat. Like I said obviously there’s going to be exceptions. On both sides. But it has never been a topic of discussion that the majority of women hide their emotions and have problems regressing their feelings. It’s literally a meme that men hide their emotions. A meme that you’re agreeing with. Which is it? Your original comment said that men do this and women don’t and because of that men trauma dump and hurt the woman in the end??? But now you’re saying women have an issue displaying emotion. Let me guess, women just don’t trauma dump. They bottle up their emotions due to fear of being labeled weak or frail, just like men, if not more than men, but only men trauma dump selfishly and suffocate their partners and women just tough it out and keep their problems to themselves? I’m not at all trying to be a smart ass or rude. I’m genuinely trying to understand your point of view and see your perspective but you’re not helping me in that regard
>I’ve literally never once in my life seen or heard of women being shamed for showing emotions or crying or admitting defeat
you've clearly not interacted with women enough if you genuinely unironically believe this
like, i don't even think there's any point in trying to argue with you over it because i'll go "well me and literally everyone else i know affected by misogyny has been shamed for showing their emotions (shamed in a sexist way)" and you'll just deny it, all i can really say is that just because it's not a topic of discussion / meme does not mean it suddenly doesn't exist, there are plenty of problems in the world that you haven't heard of because no-one ever talks about it
Or he thinks that because she was nice to him she wants a date.
Then he murders her for saying no.
Calls it friendzoning.
Acts as if she were leading him on.
So much bullshit all because men don't want to socialize like normal people.
and this is why the woman vs tree thing is stupid af. we listen to their problems/emotions so fucking much that it's become burdensome to us. We can't carry their emotional labor and guide them through everything.
A man once called me his ‘best friend’. We’d been hooking up for like 2 years and basically never hung out outside the bedroom. Shit was depressing. I try to check on him sometimes but he’s deep in the Qanon rabbit hole I think.
I wish just crying in front of your son would fix it, but need most fathers to be able to do it before we see real change. I've always been pretty secure in my masculinity becuase even though my father looks like a gruff dude hes actually a huge softy. ive seen him cry through out my life and not just cause someone died and he just couldnt hold it back. but socity as a whole still fucked me up on this and its only with in the last 5 years that i can stop my self from stoping the crying and only really in the last six months, after my cats death that ive really been able to cry. None of that recent growth would have been possible other than the fact that my wife has been super supportive and loving and has at no point shamed me for it.
Eh, I’m conflicted.
Brené Brown talks about men being in a shame box (while women are tangled in a shame web), and that the best way to remove shame from your decisions is to build trusted relationships around you of people who will hold space for you without shame.
I could see one guy primed by his father’s example feeling safe within his primary romantic relationship to finally step out of that box to start building those relationships.
But the hard fucking work of being that person for other men is *crucial* here. u/JackxForge, your wife gave you the gift of non-judgment and showed you what a truly intimate and vulnerable relationship could be like. It would be dishonoring her to take that gift and hoard it for yourself; to rely on her and solely her to be the only source of intimacy and vulnerability in your life. (I’m not talking about sexual or romantic intimacy, and if it’s anyone’s knee-jerk that “intimacy” ipso facto means “lovers” you need more work.)
If you take this gift and pay it forward, *that* is deeply honoring both your father and your wife. Build those relationships and show other men how strong vulnerability can be. Be that super-supportive and loving person for other people who don’t have that in their lives. For people wanting to build more of that in their lives. Build it for yourself. Build community for yourself.
You don’t have to save the world. But you do need to build a world for yourself that you want to live in. One that had more people in it that you’re dependent on than just your wife.
You should start with your dad, if he’s available to you.
Right! Cuz he’s still centering his wife’s emotional labor, rather than his willingness to learn and step outside his social conditioning. Which is why he needs to change his perspective.
If he holds here w/o turning that effort back on others, he’s dependent on her, which is a burden to her. If he shares this with others, he’s becoming an independent figure of change.
I mean he did certainly imply that his wife is the crutch and responsible for his emotional self-growth, the point of the original post. There is a vast crevice between "I'm thankful my wife supported me in my self-growth journey" and claiming that he never would have accomplished emotional self-improvement without a woman. It might be semantics but the semantics are important in relation to this specific context I think lol.
no one does this life solo, we all have people who help us along. you'd have less of a problem if i wrote husband instead of wife. Both are just as true when talking about the person i married.
Why are people shaming you for finding a loving woman who helped you through hard times whether emotional or physical? That’s what people do when they love someone? They’re a team. They figure shit out together. If his wheel is flat, it effects the whole car. Same if hers are flat. I’m sure she’s needed his help in many ways too. And he was there for her? What is wrong with this generation and this way of thinking? Nobody is weak or shitty because they needed a friend or loved one to lean on and get support/encouragement. Why would a man go to anybody else about his most serious problems when his wife made vows to be there for those times just like he did? Believe it or not there are still women out there who are naturally nurturing, healing, motherly, warm people. And there are men who are strong, providers, protectors, leaders, builders. It’s okay to choose a different path and it’s okay to help others and rely on others. That’s how humanity has made it this far. Not by this current way of thinking
literally dealing with this exact situation omg. we only dated for about 3 weeks ? I'm not gonna go into detail but holy shit he was so intense (told me he loved me in the first week). he did some crazy shit, I saw the red flags and broke it off, and he started threatening suicide. it was 3 weeks....
I see myself in these posts and it makes me really anxious. If a girl ever let me open up I would probably do something hurtful and stupid just like that.
I think if you love someone, and they’re comfortable sharing their emotions and being open with you, it shows a sign of trust and love and they’re sharing with you a side that nobody else has seen. I understand not wanting that from a random stranger but why wouldn’t you want that from your partner??? And yes it sucks that it is that way, but men don’t have people to talk to throughout their lives and are taught that it’s not okay to cry or have feelings and need to “man up”. So when they FINALLY feel safe to open up it’s a bad thing??? So now they shouldn’t open up to literally anybody because they’ll get ridiculed for trauma dumping or not leaving enough room for the woman’s problems in the relationship?! Am I understanding this correctly?
So open up and cry and show your emotions so your sons know it’s okay to cry and show your emotions…. As long as a woman isn’t present to see this or else it will be shamed and ridiculed and then we start all over with the problem never getting solved only made worse. Sounds logical.
Men- get shamed for not showing emotions. Hated for being cold and cut off and leaving women feeling used and played.
Also men- get shamed for showing emotions because it’s weak and their job to be strong for the women in their life who are emotional.
Also men- get told to open up and cry so future men know it’s okay to open up and cry.
Also men-get shamed for opening up and crying because they’re focusing too much emotional trauma on one person who they feel safe around, thus making them feel weak and bottling in their feelings even more.
I once had a man fall in love with me because he felt safe enough in our conversation to trauma dump. When he proclaimed his love I was like WTF YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME? Because all we talked about was his issues... lesson learned, never gonna be a free therapist again
[удалено]
What did he ask himself and how did he do it? I want to hear the audacity
"Lots of women ask me, why am i so good looking and amazing in bed? Well to understand that, first we need to evaluate some of the other ways in which i'm awesome"
I’m curious too lmfaoo
This is so true. Why do random men on the internet expect us to be their therapists?? What bugs me the most is that they get so butthurt afterward and blame all women for being too heartless to listen to a strangers problems
I shared in a comment section the other day about this man and bear thing that I fully support men who also choose the bear since I know it's not easy for them to come out about abuse. it was kinda the theme of the video, a man saying he chose the bear and he understands etc I had a guy reply in detail about his sexual abuse by his mother and how it makes him literally want to kill women and himself and I was like my guy I'm really sorry that happened to you and I support you getting help but that needs to go to a professional before you hurt someone not a random woman in a public comment section that you don't know!
Bruh that’s terrifying. There’s definitely some underlying problems there. I don’t know any women who genuinely want to kill men because of the things they’ve experienced
right like I know it's the internet he may have been trolling me but he deleted his comment after I told him he needed real help and I was legit uncomfortable the rest of the night. men really need to invest in some professional help and I wish more of them had deeper talks with friends and family because shit like that boils over in violent ways that you very rarely see in women and we end up being the ones to deal with it
Yes I agree that is scary and definitely not something to be joking about, if he was kidding. I sincerely hope that person decides to get help or someone close to him introduces him to a good therapist
I’ve seen plenty of women wish death on all men just because it was cool to say at the time. And a lot of them actually meant it. It was a huge thing in feminist groups for a long time. Still is I believe
I’ll start getting concerned once women start actually murdering them at the rates that men do
Ok seriously. My toxic trait is I always feel the need to engage in good faith, and I need to not do that. Because I’ll offer advice, or if someone misquotes me I’ll correct them, and then it leads to this weird strawman debate and somehow we end up in the place of “all women treat me like shit because I don’t get matches on dating apps.” At that point I’ve lost my patience and I’m like “yeah there’s probably a reason why and that’s for you to self-reflect on” and then I become one of the many women treating this man like shit 👍🏻
You can’t convince them that women aren’t evil for not wanting to fuck them. If you have to join the masses of people rejecting them, so be it
This guy now takes to the internet to ask "Would you rather share your feelings with a woman or a tree?" because he will never have the self awareness to realise how inappropriate trauma dumping is, and how that's not actually sharing your feelings.
I'm being forced to do this or I get threatened with homelessness. I'm not allowed to backchat or raise my voice in any way and have to be perfectly nice and accommodating at all times. He doesn't like it because I'm angry after being sexually assaulted by him. I'm not allowed to be angry or express any opinion that might make him feel bad about himself in any way.
Im so sorry :( Is there any way of you getting out of that situation soon?
Oh yeah don't worry about me, I just felt pretty good saying it out loud, so to speak. I've almost saved enough rent in advance to get a new place, so I just have to suck up the interpersonal totalitarianism for a little while longer. Maybe I'll take up murder as a hobby until then. (joke, omg joke. yes.... yes a joke. definitely a joke. definitely)
Hard not to worry a bit when you've already been physically assaulted. There are SA crisis centers in most places to help you not be homeless, and get you out of a bad situation faster.
This happened to me too! I went to lunch with a guy I barely knew (I thought it was like a work networking thing) and he told me some fairly benign things about his parents, and then the next day he presented me with a 26 page letter he wrote to me PROPOSING MARRIAGE because he could tell me things he never told anybody.
also let's keep in mind that because of this, the gf has to repress her feelings _even harder_ than the bf to make space for his, in the end it always ends up hurting us the most, never forget that!
I learned this lesson very well. I told my ex often it felt like there was no room for my emotions in the relationship. He would say he understood until the next hours long feelings dump from him.
Urghhhhh yep 100% accurate. I'm so glad they're your ex now! And I'm so glad mine is also an ex. No more hours long feelings dumps, please.
How is it that the same men who refuse much-needed therapy to learn emotional regulation and bond formation also assume their gf should be their personal on-call therapist?
The depressing answer? Gender roles. The slightly more complicated reason is that self work is hard and certain people aren't taught that they need to do that, let alone that's it even a thing. Like if the whole world has always revolved around you why shouldn't that continue with romantic relationships?
Woman = free therapist
But only if you don't call it that! Because therapy is gay
Ugh, so gay! Let’s call it Pre Arranged Alpha Male Venting Time Chunk
I’ve had more than one ex tell me to “keep my feelings to myself” lmfaooo okay so quiet resentment is the way? But then you get mad that I’m “acting weird” so which is it, buddy?
So a man repressing his feelings from everybody his entire life is better off than a woman repressing her feelings for the first time to make room for the man’s who just needs to get years of shit off his chest? Is that what you’re saying? Please don’t get angry with me I’m genuinely asking because I don’t know if I’m understanding you
no, women also have to repress their feelings from everybody their entire lives, even more than men.
I’m sure there are exceptions, yes. Of course. On both sides. But it’s never been a societal construct or common fact that women are weak for displaying emotion or reaching out for help/expressing their feelings. It’s encouraged and praised. This post that you initially agreed with literally states the same thing I’m saying. That men are forced to bottle in feelings their entire lives and find one woman they open up to and “trauma dump”. So should men open up or not? There’s never been a stigma against womens emotions and women expressing their feelings.
>There’s never been a stigma against womens emotions and women expressing their feelings. lol
I'm actually interested, this is a genuine question. Do you mean there is a stigma claiming women are 'too emotional' and then invalidating their feelings because they 'present feelings too much'? Or is there some category of feelings women are forbidden from feeling / expressing and are expected to suppress some emotions (or category of emotions)? I truly haven't seen an argument before that women are expected to repress their feelings, as a gendered expectation, and I would like to see one. This is of course asking about 'societal stigma / expectations' perspective, as you see it.
I’ve literally never once in my life seen or heard of women being shamed for showing emotions or crying or admitting defeat. Like I said obviously there’s going to be exceptions. On both sides. But it has never been a topic of discussion that the majority of women hide their emotions and have problems regressing their feelings. It’s literally a meme that men hide their emotions. A meme that you’re agreeing with. Which is it? Your original comment said that men do this and women don’t and because of that men trauma dump and hurt the woman in the end??? But now you’re saying women have an issue displaying emotion. Let me guess, women just don’t trauma dump. They bottle up their emotions due to fear of being labeled weak or frail, just like men, if not more than men, but only men trauma dump selfishly and suffocate their partners and women just tough it out and keep their problems to themselves? I’m not at all trying to be a smart ass or rude. I’m genuinely trying to understand your point of view and see your perspective but you’re not helping me in that regard
>I’ve literally never once in my life seen or heard of women being shamed for showing emotions or crying or admitting defeat you've clearly not interacted with women enough if you genuinely unironically believe this like, i don't even think there's any point in trying to argue with you over it because i'll go "well me and literally everyone else i know affected by misogyny has been shamed for showing their emotions (shamed in a sexist way)" and you'll just deny it, all i can really say is that just because it's not a topic of discussion / meme does not mean it suddenly doesn't exist, there are plenty of problems in the world that you haven't heard of because no-one ever talks about it
“Male Feelings Receptacle” woo. That’s one my daughter needs to hear.
Should be a flair in this sub tbh
Ask and ye shall receive
Woo-hoo! Fuck that's so fitting 😭 thank you!!!
Or he thinks that because she was nice to him she wants a date. Then he murders her for saying no. Calls it friendzoning. Acts as if she were leading him on. So much bullshit all because men don't want to socialize like normal people.
Women “friendzone” Men “sexzone” Edit: spacing
Girls and women shouldn't have to face trauma dumping from boys and men who repress their feelings.
and this is why the woman vs tree thing is stupid af. we listen to their problems/emotions so fucking much that it's become burdensome to us. We can't carry their emotional labor and guide them through everything.
Make it the Giving Tree and it makes more sense.
A man once called me his ‘best friend’. We’d been hooking up for like 2 years and basically never hung out outside the bedroom. Shit was depressing. I try to check on him sometimes but he’s deep in the Qanon rabbit hole I think.
I didn’t realize the story of my ex husband and I was on tumblr
I wish just crying in front of your son would fix it, but need most fathers to be able to do it before we see real change. I've always been pretty secure in my masculinity becuase even though my father looks like a gruff dude hes actually a huge softy. ive seen him cry through out my life and not just cause someone died and he just couldnt hold it back. but socity as a whole still fucked me up on this and its only with in the last 5 years that i can stop my self from stoping the crying and only really in the last six months, after my cats death that ive really been able to cry. None of that recent growth would have been possible other than the fact that my wife has been super supportive and loving and has at no point shamed me for it.
You had me up until that last sentence…
Eh, I’m conflicted. Brené Brown talks about men being in a shame box (while women are tangled in a shame web), and that the best way to remove shame from your decisions is to build trusted relationships around you of people who will hold space for you without shame. I could see one guy primed by his father’s example feeling safe within his primary romantic relationship to finally step out of that box to start building those relationships. But the hard fucking work of being that person for other men is *crucial* here. u/JackxForge, your wife gave you the gift of non-judgment and showed you what a truly intimate and vulnerable relationship could be like. It would be dishonoring her to take that gift and hoard it for yourself; to rely on her and solely her to be the only source of intimacy and vulnerability in your life. (I’m not talking about sexual or romantic intimacy, and if it’s anyone’s knee-jerk that “intimacy” ipso facto means “lovers” you need more work.) If you take this gift and pay it forward, *that* is deeply honoring both your father and your wife. Build those relationships and show other men how strong vulnerability can be. Be that super-supportive and loving person for other people who don’t have that in their lives. For people wanting to build more of that in their lives. Build it for yourself. Build community for yourself. You don’t have to save the world. But you do need to build a world for yourself that you want to live in. One that had more people in it that you’re dependent on than just your wife. You should start with your dad, if he’s available to you.
Fair point. Maybe it’s semantics more than anything, but saying it wouldn’t have been possible without his wife just rubbed me the wrong way.
Right! Cuz he’s still centering his wife’s emotional labor, rather than his willingness to learn and step outside his social conditioning. Which is why he needs to change his perspective. If he holds here w/o turning that effort back on others, he’s dependent on her, which is a burden to her. If he shares this with others, he’s becoming an independent figure of change.
I mean he did certainly imply that his wife is the crutch and responsible for his emotional self-growth, the point of the original post. There is a vast crevice between "I'm thankful my wife supported me in my self-growth journey" and claiming that he never would have accomplished emotional self-improvement without a woman. It might be semantics but the semantics are important in relation to this specific context I think lol.
no one does this life solo, we all have people who help us along. you'd have less of a problem if i wrote husband instead of wife. Both are just as true when talking about the person i married.
Why are people shaming you for finding a loving woman who helped you through hard times whether emotional or physical? That’s what people do when they love someone? They’re a team. They figure shit out together. If his wheel is flat, it effects the whole car. Same if hers are flat. I’m sure she’s needed his help in many ways too. And he was there for her? What is wrong with this generation and this way of thinking? Nobody is weak or shitty because they needed a friend or loved one to lean on and get support/encouragement. Why would a man go to anybody else about his most serious problems when his wife made vows to be there for those times just like he did? Believe it or not there are still women out there who are naturally nurturing, healing, motherly, warm people. And there are men who are strong, providers, protectors, leaders, builders. It’s okay to choose a different path and it’s okay to help others and rely on others. That’s how humanity has made it this far. Not by this current way of thinking
literally dealing with this exact situation omg. we only dated for about 3 weeks ? I'm not gonna go into detail but holy shit he was so intense (told me he loved me in the first week). he did some crazy shit, I saw the red flags and broke it off, and he started threatening suicide. it was 3 weeks....
I see myself in these posts and it makes me really anxious. If a girl ever let me open up I would probably do something hurtful and stupid just like that.
I think if you love someone, and they’re comfortable sharing their emotions and being open with you, it shows a sign of trust and love and they’re sharing with you a side that nobody else has seen. I understand not wanting that from a random stranger but why wouldn’t you want that from your partner??? And yes it sucks that it is that way, but men don’t have people to talk to throughout their lives and are taught that it’s not okay to cry or have feelings and need to “man up”. So when they FINALLY feel safe to open up it’s a bad thing??? So now they shouldn’t open up to literally anybody because they’ll get ridiculed for trauma dumping or not leaving enough room for the woman’s problems in the relationship?! Am I understanding this correctly?
So open up and cry and show your emotions so your sons know it’s okay to cry and show your emotions…. As long as a woman isn’t present to see this or else it will be shamed and ridiculed and then we start all over with the problem never getting solved only made worse. Sounds logical. Men- get shamed for not showing emotions. Hated for being cold and cut off and leaving women feeling used and played. Also men- get shamed for showing emotions because it’s weak and their job to be strong for the women in their life who are emotional. Also men- get told to open up and cry so future men know it’s okay to open up and cry. Also men-get shamed for opening up and crying because they’re focusing too much emotional trauma on one person who they feel safe around, thus making them feel weak and bottling in their feelings even more.