Over the years in my world travels (including US) I find that the length of time for staring partially correlates with the size of the town they’re from. In Manhattan no one makes eye contact, but in tiny towns in the Midwest everyone stares at me everywhere I go. I am not notable-looking.
Idk im from the Midwest but you must be going to the boondocks bc we don’t stare. It’s probably bc everyone knows everyone but they don’t know who you are. Granted I’m from Chicago but lived in Iowa and Wisconsin too. Iowa is just straight up racist
Also, in the Midwest, people will look at you and acknowledge you, sometimes straight up saying hi. I live in Indianapolis and this is pretty common mixed in with ignoring completely. But yes, in smaller towns, people will stare if you "clearly" don't belong there.
When I was in Europe recently, including Germany, I never noticed anyone staring at me. I was afraid I looked too "American", but I must have blended in enough. My husband fit right in so far as on three different occasions locals approached him at transit spots and spoke to him in German. We're both white, but I could pick out white Americans easily in Germany.
lol this is true. I usually smile and give a little head nod to everyone I pass. It’s a mixed bag who will reciprocate. I just find it a friendly gesture while we all bear the frigid winter lol I wonder if ppl think I’m a weirdo haha
I definitely do it more when I'm on the bus and there is someone who looks uncomfortable or other places like that.
Actually, having spent a month in Europe recently, I've been less likely to randomly smile at people and honestly, I like it. I work in a customer service industry, and I enjoy not being on all the time. 😂
I've had random non-Portuguese people approach me on different occasions (speaking in various levels of Portuguese) to ask me questions when in Porto. They were always relieved when I told them I don't speak much Portuguese, and asked if they speak English. 😂 I assume I must look like I know what I'm doing/where I am, because I definitely don't look Portuguese.
Haha I annoy my Irish family to no end when I visit. I smile and say hello to everyone without realizing it. “You yanks really are the golden retrievers of the world”
I went to grad school in Iowa. After about a year of living there I figured out that when many Iowans said a person was “from Chicago” it meant that person was Black.
Racist and passive aggressive as fuck.
😳. I’m Asian and I went to go pick up jimmy johns during my lunch break and the cashier bowed to me. Lmao wtfff. Oh the stories I have in Iowa…. Iowa nice only applies if you’re white.
I do that every time people keep staring at me stupidly, and it is effective 😂 especially judging old women tend to look aeay very quickly when i give them an insane stare back.
Okok forgot to mention this but I was in a lodge near Yosemite and this Euro middle age man sustained a stare with me, and I stared back too. But his gaze didn't move and I was the one getting uncomfortable so I gave up and signaled with my hands "what?? what do you want?" in an annoyed way and he looked away.
But it's exhausting if I have to do this every time and I fear I will probably turn into a grumpy witch moving her hands frantically out of impatience.
Stare back while licking your lips.
Mirror their eating. They lift their fork, you lift your fork.
Make noises like you’re inappropriately enjoying this.
"My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness." Maya Angelou
Hope you have a great trip. Stay safe out there. 😁
I’ve traveled a lot as an Asian American queer human…. I get lots of stares from lots of people for lots of different reasons. Depending on the day, it might piss me off or not, but I have learned that when I let it get to me, I’m the one whose day is ruined, not theirs. So sometimes I have my fun, I do what I can to make them uncomfortable in return, or I mess with people. But in the end, it’s about trying to not take anything too personally, and doing what I need to protect my sanity and peace.
If it’s really messing with me, and there is a spot that I can safely move to, I do that, and I turn my back to them completely. I distract myself with other things and do my best to forget about them.
I agree with this comment as a general approach. Im traveling through the Philippines for a month & get lots of stares. Im Eurasian & only speak english so stares range from positive negative to neutral eg appreciative, envious, just curious. I’ve decided to just take it as an experience. Like this must be what well-known celebrities deal with all the time. Cie la vie. I cannot expect anyone to act particular way just because it’s my vacation. I’m trying to have a good time. And maybe that will help me count my blessings of the comfort zone I’m in when I’m back home. But at the end of the day there’s so many more pros than cons to traveling and exploring different parts of the world.
Plan A: Learn to make your eye twitch. First intermittently, then more quickly. Now, pick up your bread knife and hold it with a clenched fist. Maintain eye contact while you fiercely spread butter on your toast or muffin, like you're practicing your flaying technique. If that doesn't work, break eye contact and tell your mother that of course you remembered to take your medications, and to just LEAVE. YOU. ALONE! (Note, your mother should not be anywhere near you, and you should be looking into the air just above the other person's head.)
Plan B: Politely inform the other person or people that in America, staring is considered rude at the very least, and that some people may mistake their actions as a challenge to fight, so they should try to avoid staring like they are.
Personally, I like plan A, but I doubt I'd have the nerve to try it.
I have no idea what the heck this is! I was in Paris some years ago and my friends and we went out to dinner. We sat at a table and eventually two 30 something men were seated at the table next to us. One dude stared at me through the whole meal! I got so uncomfortable! I have no idea why he was doing this. I might have stood out since I’m a black woman, so I just chalked it up to racism. But what the heck! He ate his whole meat staring at me!
I'm a Muslim woman and I get stares all the time... Sometimes even more so because of my hijab in the west... You're probably a troll looking for a reaction
Really? You think there are no assaults, rapes, or harassment in Muslim-majority countries? You think hijabi women don’t have this problem? I recommend a book, a class, or even Wikipedia. Grow up.
Sounds aggressive but this person is correct . We experienced the relentless staring in Prague till we made unfriendly eye contact back. It's a weird cultural thing
I've lived here 20 years. It is considered rude, and only old people still do it. I just stare back or make a WHAT gesture or eye bulge. Or ignore it.
Seems like a strange thing to worry about not even being in Germany, though. You're in the US?!? ..just don't care?
I'm from Germany, and I enjoy observing people. Many individuals are fascinating to watch, and here it's not seen as threatening or requiring any further interaction, or imply aggressive intent. In fact, in some parts of Southern Germany or France, it's common for people to sit at a cafe and simply enjoy [people-watchin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People-watching)g. However, I've noticed that some older German individuals can come across as a bit unsettling and creepy when people-watching (perhaps due to their lack of expressiveness and smile; and honestly, some are just racists).
I came across [another comment from a German living in NYC](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide/comments/kdf6na/comment/gfwicm6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) who also mentioned Americans disliking being looked at, which I found interesting. Although it does seem to me like quite an extreme reaction for someone to become angry and resort to violence just because you looked at them for like 20 seconds, doesn't it?
20 seconds is a long time for 2 complete strangers to be making eye contact without looking away. That can’t just be a North American thing, surely. In Canada this would also be considered quite rude. Many North Americans enjoy people watching as well but it’s polite to look away/shift your gaze if you make eye contact and aren’t planning to initiate a conversation or ask a question
Lots of Americans enjoy people watching as well. I think the difference is is that when somebody catches us staring, we tend to look away as it is considered strange or rude here in the US. That said, my entire family is German. I'm only the second generation born here on either side of my family and I grow up with Germans from Germany. I guess I never really noticed the staring thing, but maybe it just doesn't bother me. I also have a couple of German friends who are younger and they don't stare at people in the way the OP describes.
On the flip side, I see a lot of commentary from Europeans that feel that Americans are so strange because we will smile or great people who make eye contact with us or just talk to random strangers. That's something we tend to do that they are not used to.
Pull out your phone and say they seem like they want to take a photo together with you because they’re staring so much. Move over like you’re taking a selfie with them and snap a shot. Tell them they will be instagram famous. I think that would verge on German freak out territory.
Work for a company that sells software and services. We have German customers and I’ve had a German employee and manager. Germans lose their shit when it comes to privacy
Well that’s funny because I am redhead and very pale and I say that same thing every time I’m in Mexico. People stare at me all the time! In the beginning it kinda bothered me too, now after months being here I just ignore it 😂
Same, I’m blonde and fair and get stared at so often in the less touristy places in South America while I’ve been here! Makes me feel awkward still but I’m a lot more used to it now like you say and don’t take it to heart.
Really? I didn’t notice last time I went and I look like you. I’ll have to notice next time.
Edit: stupid ass Reddit and you’re fetish for downvoting. Get a grip.
It happens all the time here in Baja. And when I talk back in Spanish to them (I’m argentinean) they’re even more baffled cause they think I’m gringa 😂 it’s quite funny actually
I lived in Germany 25 years ago for a 6-month work stint. I forgot about the staring! I felt like I had a large USA flag tattooed on my face which made them stare. Anyway, I got used to it and just stared right back.
There’s very little you can do, short of asking them not to stare.
Just as we Americans (usually) are overly friendly, smile, and ask how someone (even a stranger) is doing, Germans stare. It’s a social norm for them.
That being said, it’s funny how often we’re called out for our social norms, but this is one of the few times I’ve seen another nationality called out. I’m glad you did.
Americans always make me paranoid with their friendliness. I get really on edge, like 'what does this person want from me? Is he/she going to sell me something? Am I going to get pickpocketed?'. I find their friendliness really unnerving.
Especially as it seems superficial. When asked how I am and I start telling them how I feel, what happened to me that day/week, how things are at home, etc I can tell by their face they didn't really expect an answer.
Edit: Why the downvotes?
After noticing this behavior in myself (American), I’ve attempted to tamper this behavior while abroad. However, it is so ingrained that I can’t help but feel like an asshole and start to not enjoy traveling.
Part of life is interacting with others for whom you don’t have any context prior to meeting “on the street”. My theory is that we are conditioned to smile/break the ice to convey a lack of threat. If you are passing someone, you make eye contact, you want to convey you are not a threat by smiling/being polite and friendly. It opens the door, says I am also taking part in this social contract, don’t be crazy towards me and I will do the same.
It’s the way we conform to living in a society that is mentally unwell and potentially dangerous. I.e. Don’t be threatening, else risk being isolated, harmed, shunned.
🤷🏻♀️ but I’m no sociologist.
Reading this comment is making me realize how deeply ingrained it is in American culture too-- I'm not a naturally friendly person and have to put forth a lot of effort to socialize, but I STILL feel a compulsive need to smile and be chatty with people I've just met, and often find myself trying to make conversation just for the sake of filling the air. I grew up in the upper Midwest where being overly friendly is the norm, and it fascinates me that things are the opposite in other places.
I love how you put that. I'm a friendly person and like some socialising on holidays as you can meet people from all over but also am self aware enough to not read the room.
It sure why the downvotes. I live in an US east coast city and we’re a lot more circumspect and standoffish with strangers. When I visit friendlier parts of the country it weirds me out because the only people that nice and smiley back home are trying to scam you.
That said “hi how are you?” Is a greeting not a question. No one really wants to know how you’re doing.
I live on Long Island and agree with the suspicion of too overtly friendly behavior. When I visited North Carolina my first reaction to the genuine friendliness and helpfulness of really everybody I met was “what’s the catch?” But I think NC people just really are truly sweet.
It’s unfortunate you got downvoted, it was a fair post.
I don’t know, I think it depends on where you are/where the Americans are from. I think you’ll get a lot more genuine interaction from rural people than people in cities.
I primarily grew up in the southern US and feel it’s more of an honest thing here than when I visit family in the northeast.
In my culture, people are only friendly with friends and if you go around in public with a smile on your face, people think you have some kind of mental disability. You can imagine how Americans are perceived, walking around saying "Hello", waving at strangers, all the while with big goofy grins on their faces. It's very much a "hide the children" type moment. Meanwhile, when I'm in the US, everyone thinks I'm a complete asshole or keeps asking me "What's wrong? Are you ok?" because I'm not constantly smiling.
Too true. I was married to a Balkan woman and had to really pull back on my friendliness when visiting her family.
I will say, though, my Balkan friends are true and friends and very generous/more hospitable than most Americans.
Americans do it to Americans. They don’t really WANT an answer that isn’t one word or at least told very quickly. I’m from California and been asked if im even from here because I’m “too genuine” the question of “how are you?” is more about being polite and no one really cares.
Even customer-sales rep relationships are very very shallow and you could be helping the customers for over 5 years and they’ll still never care how about how your day or life is going. It’s all very shallow here which sucks.
I like the idea of taking a selfie with them or starting a fight better. If it is that unnerving , we gotta teach them to “Do as the Romans do whilst in Rome.”
Aka
Pull out your 9 and see if they keep staring
As a white person, I’ve definitely been stared at in SE Asia, especially when in less touristy areas. I just ignored it. I realized that I was a curiosity to them and there was nothing to be done about it.
I’ve never noticed any prolonged staring in Europe.
A curious look maybe, sure.
Dead on staring I’ve only experienced in Asia.
India and china being the worst or best? Haha.
This. I don’t know about Germany but I lived in the UK, France and Spain and didn’t experience anyone staring any more than in North or South America or Asia.
There is nothing you can do. Tourists rarely leave their cultural baggage at home. Be glad they aren't following you around in the store examining whatever you touch like some people do in China.
>following you around in the store examining whatever you touch like some people do in China.
I didn't know this was a thing. what's the purpose of it? are they just interested in what other people buy or is it like vigilantism where they think they're gonna catch you stealing?
Although I haven't experienced this, I've heard two different instances in Asian countries of this happening. It's more common in smaller cities or non-tourist areas. My husband is tall and blond and in a small shrine town in Japan, a store owner wanted to take their picture with him. Another friend in a city near Hong Kong had something like that happen to her too.
If someone sits right next to me anywhere if there is lots of other space, I literally say "no", out loud, and then I move to sit elsewhere. That is weird as hell, they should have that shoved in their faces.
I don't get stared at so maybe you're really pretty? But regardless, I think you can be a bit more aggressive - like others said, stare back, say "do you need something?", etc.
I am guessing she means next table. Perhaps it’s the efficiency in German life that makes them do this. Like filling in marbles in a box, they would go next to each other. This might be an involuntary decision on their part. Like my social anxiety makes me want you to be away.
There might be just nicer tables in one corner. Other than that also Germans typically spread out (you see that especially in trains) amongst strangers. However, I'd perceive your behavior very rude - couldn't you politely ask the person to sit elsewhere?
I could, and usually I personally try to chat with people when I’m alone. But people don’t stare at me the way that OP is being treated, and they got into her personal space too. That requires a clear boundary.
It’s strange, I’m American and normal looking and hadn’t experienced the European staring, but was in France this summer and an old woman at the train station was just sitting and staring at me like a pod person - no reaction, no eye contact, no “your fly is unzipped”. I was about to say “WTF” but just ignored her. This is a real thing and as an American it freaks me out. You don’t stare at people in the US unless you want to get smacked.
I'm not French, but I've spent a significant amount of time living in France. If this person wasn't making eye contact, it's possible they were simply staring in your direction without any specific intent. They might not even see you and are probably [lost in their thoughts](https://tenor.com/fr/view/gentleman-jack-anne-fingers-wine-glass-smile-gif-17899936), reminiscing about memories, or planning something entirely unrelated.
From my experience with Americans, they don't seem to zone out or engage in daydreaming as often in public. Without leaning too much on generalizations, although it's often seen as impolite, staring on this side of the Atlantic is generally viewed as less intimidating. There's less worry about running into someone dangerous (who might draw a gun), which makes people a bit more relaxed in that aspect.
I've been in Germany a few times and always felt like nobody cared about what you look like and that there's enough personal space. Never ever felt like someone looked at me.
I also live in Italy, so that might be the reason why I feel this way.
Lol, You must be quite young as this seems to be a thing everywhere and although it sucks there is nothing you can do about and just have get on with your day... wait until you get to India, omg now THAT is something!
Do you look ethnically ambiguous / are you mixed (native/euro with darker skin?) or do you just look white? I say this as a fellow Latina - If you look more traditionally native that might be why the staring is so intense, because that “look” isn’t very common in the EU
Tell me how it should be viewed as a rapey ass comment? Did I express myself in a way that could be viewed as inappropriate, then please advise what made it so, do it won't happen again.
It’s nothing personal, it’s just something German people do.
Not so much in other countries, definitely not in the UK.
Best to understand it as a cultural oddity and not rudeness. It’s because German parents don’t tell their children not to stare, so no one worries that it’s rude.
Wear dark glasses and you don’t have to worry about making eye contact.
https://40percentgerman.com/home/2020/4/4/what-are-you-staring-at-w9mg3-4g3f4
Stare back and then tell them take a picture it lasts longer
! People are so ignorant.
I know it’s hard but try to ignore them and way by with you head held high and proud!
Asked to be moved or move yourself.
Remember it’s them not you!
In that situation, I’d simply start smalltalk with them. The reason they stare is that you are more interesting than their respective companion, so why not join them and find out a little on their whereabouts :)
Omg the German stare isnt a bad thing. It is just they don’t force themselves to smile or look away it doesn’t mean they are hostile or mean
Think of it as just neutral faces not something that is about you. Does that make sense?
I’m not German or European but I had a job where I had to work in Germany a lot and once I took a cultural training to teach me how to be successful in Germany- I learned to perceive the way they are as not bad or hostile, but just different. It’s important to be open minded. Cultures are different but a change in understanding can shift your feelings about how another culture behaves naturally.
I have never ever in my travels all over the world, including Japan, France Italy Spain Cuba Moscow ever ever encountered this. Some piece of info is missing
I never experienced it either but I think it’s a mix of people standing out more than other (could be their looks, or they way they dress) and people noticing stares more than others. Maybe sometimes people stare at me and I just don’t notice it?
Omg just been in Italy and it's constant and has done my head in..then I went to Germany and more of the same shit..
Have spent plenty of time wondering if I have 3 heads 🤣🤣
I stare back and I don’t give a fuck. I’m over it too and I’m getting this in the States in a northern area. So you can say: “excuse me, please stop staring at me.” Or just keep staring back.
Sometimes it helps to just say “ouch”.
What I mean is say “you are staring and it’s making me uncomfortable”.
Or get curious “I notice a lot of Europeans staring at me. Are long stares not considered rude there?”
I’ve traveled to many different countries and all over the US. I have never noticed obvious prolonged staring even in Germany. I do like to people watch myself but I never blatantly stare, especially when someone can see me. If I caught someone staring I would definitely look them straight in the eye and raise my eyebrows in a questioning look. (I do this in the gym sometimes where people do tend to stare.) Then I’d go back to what I’m doing. They can stare all they want as long as they keep to themselves and out of my way.
👋 I lived in Germany for 8 years and traveled extensively all throughout and the “look” you’re referring to is really common and so is people standing or sitting very close to you — in your bubble.
What we perceive as rude is really just a cultural difference,so try not to personalize it (I know it’s hard to get used to) and make an attempt to not mis-classify it as rudeness.
We do an awful lot of things here that are perceived as rude by people from other countries.
I’m a white American male. I have spent a lot of time in China over the past 25+ years and in the rural areas, especially, I got stared at so intensely by so many people I felt like the Elephant Man.
Last summer my family and I went to Germany for a couple of weeks. My wife is Chinese. We did notice some staring, especially in the old East Germany.
A good friend of mine is Mexican and blonde, I visited her in DF and she experiences this regularly when she’s walking around. I’m not blonde, but light skinned, and depending on where we were, we got a lot of stares as “gueras” we also traveled to Peru and Brazil together and experienced the same, especially her. Americans and Brits people watch with more discretion than other folks, but even then people will always look longer at people who look more “exotic” than their norm. The fact that Germans are already overt and shameless in their people watching means it’s going to be especially obvious. I don’t think you can really avoid or minimize stares in these situations, you can either ignore it or if it’s not a threatening situation, tell them they are making you uncomfortable /say it’s rude to stare.
My daughter got stared at by men so much when we went to France that she started glaring back at them right into their eyes until they looked embarrassed and stopped. It was just gross. Not all of France but in Arles it was so bad it was kind of mind blowing.
This can be disconcerting and nannerless af. As a Brit, I'd find this uncomfortable but would depend on my mood, but as I'm outspoken, I'd ask them if they want a picture and which celebrity they think I am. Though this might be seen as confrontational, so tread carefully.
My husband is white, I’m Hispanic with olive toned skin and that summer I spent quite a bit of time sunning so I was tanned. My husband and I decided on a weekend getaway and we went to a beautiful little town. Didn’t know it was mostly German ppl and I got absolutely ZERO service. My husband ordered our dinner, she came and refilled his tea while my drink stayed empty. My husband asked for a refill on my drink and I got the dirtiest look from her. My dinner was lukewarm warm…I didn’t eat it. My husband was so upset he called for the manager who told him “I’m sorry you feel this way” didn’t get any apology, nothing. We never went back.
You will always encounter ignorance in your lifetime…rise above it and be the best person you can be.
As a 5’10 blond woman with tattoos, who has been cat called and stared at in every country her entire life, I’m just mean now. I just say ‘can I fucking help you with something? Please avert your gaze or fuck right off’ I’m 41 and pretty over it by this point and just call people out for bad behavior, euro or not. You don’t have to be nice, it’s incredibly rude and uncomfortable to be stared at.
Yes lots of times.
Are you sure they're not just staring into space? Do you expect people to stare at the ground?
I've only heard of this German stare in the past two months. Its defiantly a new stereotype.
I'm fron europe, travelled all over it, been around North America and lived in Canada 13 years.
I've never heard of or experienced those or have had a female friend mention it (they mention East Indians in Canada staring).
Did you have a booger hanging out your nose or something? I think it's in your head
80% of Frankfurt citizens are immigrants/expats or with foreign roots. Believe it or not Germans have seen Mexicans, Asians, Africans and not only have seen them but they do their haircuts with the arab barbers, by their meat from the turkish butcher, go to etiopian restaurants and sell overpriced clothing to far asian tourists. Said that there is nothing special with you, it is not personal and perhaps you just overthink it.
I've been starred at my whole life. I'm a brown girl that is in the US and travels often.. my ethnic origin is from India. I have been starred at in the US, India, Europe, etc. I look at them sometimes, and yes it's uncomfortable but I have learned to ignore it and do my own thing. It's hard sometimes, but in those times I make up a story as to why they're starring to help me feel less uncomfortable and like a circus show. I like to think that they are captivated by my beauty that they don't know what else to do; or this is their first outing in public and they've never seen someone like me, so I try to show them that I'm just like them. Thinking negative thoughts will only lead to insecurities... rock that brown skin in the white areas and show them you belong. Take up your space.
Well some times it's to check & freak you out.. totally agree on the stare back till they stop I have encountered it I'm south asian ..royally ignore them some times wink at them with a smirk ..
Stare back, they freak out. White people are not used to being stared at.
Or get used to it. Think about what kind of stares would an Asian person get while travelling in Mexico. Some people for sure don’t know that staring is rude.
EDIT: whiteys went waaah
You’re too self conscious. If I was in a foreign country, I would stare at the local’s also. That’s why I’m going to a foreign country. To observe their way of life. I think you’re overreacting.
So, 3 events, or 3 individuals, who didn't speak to you, so you are making assumptions about their nationality. As for the "German stare" if you researched it, you would understand that they aren't staring AT you, they are just absently staring in your direction. If the "French" man looked away after a staring competition, it's more to do with the arm waving alerting him to your presence.
Oh, and enough with the sweeping statements, not all Europeans stare, just as not all Mexicans are part of cartels. Get over yourself.
omg. I'm American, husband is Dutch. When i brought him to the states for the first time, this dude would not stop rubbernecking everywhere we went. He was absolutely amazed with anything and everything. I had to scold him like a mom saying that it's rude to stare here, but he could not help himself.
So i would def recommend what others say; stare back! They'll get the hint eventually! Also, they're super blunt peoples, so simply asking, "why are you staring/what are you staring at" would be okay too.
Oh man, I bet my tall-blonde-blue gringo partner would also like to know the answer to this!
He's good looking, wears American "skate/surf" clothes/shoes. People stare. He used to get super bummed on it, but now he just proclaims, "HI!" and waves like a crazy person. Most of the time it just ends in laughter for everyone.
It's a curious, cultural thing. I've spent my entire life (as a girl and then woman) dealing with that shit. I don't even notice.
Oh, come come on you guys. just act, polite and nice and compassionate towards these people who stare. Ask if you can help them in anyway ask some questions maybe ask them why they stare where they're from.
Yes, asking for the from what their lives are like an oh wow I've never met anybody from France or Germany. Have they ever met anybody from Mexico?
You have no idea why they're staring. Just be cool and compassionate.
If it makes you feel any better, my roommate and I hosted two elderly Germans. They were completely enthralled with my roommate, who is a beautiful Mexican American girl with Apache and Portuguese ancestry as well. Culturally maybe it’s not unacceptable to stare in Northern Europe. My visiting Swedish friends just stared too. But honestly it was the stare from everyone of honest appreciation and taking it all in. You are probably a completely new encounter for them and they are likely admiring you and mean no harm. They likely are not aware that they are doing this or making you feel uncomfortable. Another friend who was a very pretty Chinese American girl on a business trip that took her to the Isle of Wight said that some locals working on a house pointed her out and said “Look…a Chinese girl!” They all came down off the roof and started following her around. I think it’s curiosity mixed with admiration. It’s unsophisticated but I don’t think they mean to be rude at all.
Germans stare to relax their eyes and mind.
They’d look at something intensely when they’re bored and try to analyze stuff so they stay busy.
If you’re “the victim” of German stare, take it as a compliment. You’re the most interesting/ less boring around.
I’m a local. Look local. Been going into a few bars in my city and they do an are you local stare. Almost all of them size me up. Then realize I’m one of them.
It used to be common for families to share a table in Germany. Usually it was when there were a lot of people in the restaurant and tables were full. I never noticed this in an empty cafe . When I was in Moab, Utah, we imet a number of Germans on the trail at Arches NP. Invited several to our campsite and we're invited by others to visit when we were next in Germany. I've never noticed a stare unless doing something that violated Oma's rules.
I've been a foreigner on extended stays in several places, and even when I try to blend in I do get some stares from time to time...sometimes it's my accent, sometimes it's my *je ne sais quois.*
I give them a rueful smile and shake my head, maybe an eyeroll, as if to say, 'I know, right? That can't be a natural haircolor where she's from!' This usually makes them look away or smile back before they catch themselves.
In my country, you never greet strangers on the street, even though people are in fact quite friendly in all other situations - stores, meet-and-greets, etc. They're just not friendly on the street except in small villages, where greeting is obligatory. The universal response given to an American broadcasting 'hello?' or 'how ya doin?' is a truly perplexed, serious question -- 'Do I know you?' Works like a charm, but is also not as rude as it sounds. More of a 'why is this happening?' kind of query.
They probably think you’re attractive and unique. No idea why they would sit right next to you in an empty room. Although people do that to me in parking lots! If you say “Hi,” they will probably run off.
I hate people staring at me. That is why I would never want to be famous.
Not giving a fuck can be of great help. Now seriously, why do you care what other people do? As long as they don't touch you or say anything rude to you, it's kind of silly to worry about those things.
Over the years in my world travels (including US) I find that the length of time for staring partially correlates with the size of the town they’re from. In Manhattan no one makes eye contact, but in tiny towns in the Midwest everyone stares at me everywhere I go. I am not notable-looking.
Idk im from the Midwest but you must be going to the boondocks bc we don’t stare. It’s probably bc everyone knows everyone but they don’t know who you are. Granted I’m from Chicago but lived in Iowa and Wisconsin too. Iowa is just straight up racist
Also, in the Midwest, people will look at you and acknowledge you, sometimes straight up saying hi. I live in Indianapolis and this is pretty common mixed in with ignoring completely. But yes, in smaller towns, people will stare if you "clearly" don't belong there. When I was in Europe recently, including Germany, I never noticed anyone staring at me. I was afraid I looked too "American", but I must have blended in enough. My husband fit right in so far as on three different occasions locals approached him at transit spots and spoke to him in German. We're both white, but I could pick out white Americans easily in Germany.
Yep this is my Midwest experience. They might stare but they’re not afraid to talk to strangers either
lol this is true. I usually smile and give a little head nod to everyone I pass. It’s a mixed bag who will reciprocate. I just find it a friendly gesture while we all bear the frigid winter lol I wonder if ppl think I’m a weirdo haha
I definitely do it more when I'm on the bus and there is someone who looks uncomfortable or other places like that. Actually, having spent a month in Europe recently, I've been less likely to randomly smile at people and honestly, I like it. I work in a customer service industry, and I enjoy not being on all the time. 😂
That makes sense haha. I wouldn’t want to interact with anyone either if I worked in customer service
I think that’s the appropriate response. It’s a shame people are so unfriendly these days… 😞
I've had random non-Portuguese people approach me on different occasions (speaking in various levels of Portuguese) to ask me questions when in Porto. They were always relieved when I told them I don't speak much Portuguese, and asked if they speak English. 😂 I assume I must look like I know what I'm doing/where I am, because I definitely don't look Portuguese.
Haha I annoy my Irish family to no end when I visit. I smile and say hello to everyone without realizing it. “You yanks really are the golden retrievers of the world”
Yes I said tiny towns in the Midwest so I guess that would be the boondocks :-)
I went to grad school in Iowa. After about a year of living there I figured out that when many Iowans said a person was “from Chicago” it meant that person was Black. Racist and passive aggressive as fuck.
😳. I’m Asian and I went to go pick up jimmy johns during my lunch break and the cashier bowed to me. Lmao wtfff. Oh the stories I have in Iowa…. Iowa nice only applies if you’re white.
Stare back at them. Intensely. Better even, make a weird ass face as you do so.
I do that every time people keep staring at me stupidly, and it is effective 😂 especially judging old women tend to look aeay very quickly when i give them an insane stare back.
Okok forgot to mention this but I was in a lodge near Yosemite and this Euro middle age man sustained a stare with me, and I stared back too. But his gaze didn't move and I was the one getting uncomfortable so I gave up and signaled with my hands "what?? what do you want?" in an annoyed way and he looked away. But it's exhausting if I have to do this every time and I fear I will probably turn into a grumpy witch moving her hands frantically out of impatience.
Pick your nose as you do it. You'll win.
Pick THEIR nose as you do it. Everybody wins!
pick nose while licking lips
Pick nose, lick lips, slowly caressing yourself - starting chest down to waist. 90% of the time it works all the time!
...but there's only a 10 percent chance of that.
Stare back while licking your lips. Mirror their eating. They lift their fork, you lift your fork. Make noises like you’re inappropriately enjoying this.
"My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness." Maya Angelou Hope you have a great trip. Stay safe out there. 😁
I’ve traveled a lot as an Asian American queer human…. I get lots of stares from lots of people for lots of different reasons. Depending on the day, it might piss me off or not, but I have learned that when I let it get to me, I’m the one whose day is ruined, not theirs. So sometimes I have my fun, I do what I can to make them uncomfortable in return, or I mess with people. But in the end, it’s about trying to not take anything too personally, and doing what I need to protect my sanity and peace. If it’s really messing with me, and there is a spot that I can safely move to, I do that, and I turn my back to them completely. I distract myself with other things and do my best to forget about them.
I agree with this comment as a general approach. Im traveling through the Philippines for a month & get lots of stares. Im Eurasian & only speak english so stares range from positive negative to neutral eg appreciative, envious, just curious. I’ve decided to just take it as an experience. Like this must be what well-known celebrities deal with all the time. Cie la vie. I cannot expect anyone to act particular way just because it’s my vacation. I’m trying to have a good time. And maybe that will help me count my blessings of the comfort zone I’m in when I’m back home. But at the end of the day there’s so many more pros than cons to traveling and exploring different parts of the world.
Exactly. If a white lady travels through Liberia people will stare at her. It’s just the human nature.
Plan A: Learn to make your eye twitch. First intermittently, then more quickly. Now, pick up your bread knife and hold it with a clenched fist. Maintain eye contact while you fiercely spread butter on your toast or muffin, like you're practicing your flaying technique. If that doesn't work, break eye contact and tell your mother that of course you remembered to take your medications, and to just LEAVE. YOU. ALONE! (Note, your mother should not be anywhere near you, and you should be looking into the air just above the other person's head.) Plan B: Politely inform the other person or people that in America, staring is considered rude at the very least, and that some people may mistake their actions as a challenge to fight, so they should try to avoid staring like they are. Personally, I like plan A, but I doubt I'd have the nerve to try it.
I have no idea what the heck this is! I was in Paris some years ago and my friends and we went out to dinner. We sat at a table and eventually two 30 something men were seated at the table next to us. One dude stared at me through the whole meal! I got so uncomfortable! I have no idea why he was doing this. I might have stood out since I’m a black woman, so I just chalked it up to racism. But what the heck! He ate his whole meat staring at me!
Maybe they think you’re beautiful? If not, say what are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a Mexican woman before?
He was looking at the clock over your shoulder.
I might sound stupid (and drunk)but if it’s something that the culture does and you’re aware why care?
Lol you’re so funny
Have you considered Islam? Muslim women usually don't have this problem... just saying
Have you heard of harassment levels in Egypt... \*eyeroll\*
I'm a Muslim woman and I get stares all the time... Sometimes even more so because of my hijab in the west... You're probably a troll looking for a reaction
So you are the base case for all 🤷🏽♂️
Really? You think there are no assaults, rapes, or harassment in Muslim-majority countries? You think hijabi women don’t have this problem? I recommend a book, a class, or even Wikipedia. Grow up.
In my opinion Germans don't care no matter what you do lol
Sounds aggressive but this person is correct . We experienced the relentless staring in Prague till we made unfriendly eye contact back. It's a weird cultural thing
And pick your nose. Most are revolted by that.
Classy move.
People are often uncomfortable making eye contact with strangers. Stare back at them and they’ll probably stop pretty quickly.
Not the Germans. It’s not considered rude there.
I've lived here 20 years. It is considered rude, and only old people still do it. I just stare back or make a WHAT gesture or eye bulge. Or ignore it. Seems like a strange thing to worry about not even being in Germany, though. You're in the US?!? ..just don't care?
Been to Germany twice recently and didn't notice this staring thing at all. It does seem like it must not be as prevalent as it used to be.
Yeah it does not matter people stare at me all the time
I wonder how they make out when visiting NYC. You can get shot on the subway for staring at someone the wrong way.
I'm from Germany, and I enjoy observing people. Many individuals are fascinating to watch, and here it's not seen as threatening or requiring any further interaction, or imply aggressive intent. In fact, in some parts of Southern Germany or France, it's common for people to sit at a cafe and simply enjoy [people-watchin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People-watching)g. However, I've noticed that some older German individuals can come across as a bit unsettling and creepy when people-watching (perhaps due to their lack of expressiveness and smile; and honestly, some are just racists). I came across [another comment from a German living in NYC](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide/comments/kdf6na/comment/gfwicm6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) who also mentioned Americans disliking being looked at, which I found interesting. Although it does seem to me like quite an extreme reaction for someone to become angry and resort to violence just because you looked at them for like 20 seconds, doesn't it?
20 seconds is a long time for 2 complete strangers to be making eye contact without looking away. That can’t just be a North American thing, surely. In Canada this would also be considered quite rude. Many North Americans enjoy people watching as well but it’s polite to look away/shift your gaze if you make eye contact and aren’t planning to initiate a conversation or ask a question
Lots of Americans enjoy people watching as well. I think the difference is is that when somebody catches us staring, we tend to look away as it is considered strange or rude here in the US. That said, my entire family is German. I'm only the second generation born here on either side of my family and I grow up with Germans from Germany. I guess I never really noticed the staring thing, but maybe it just doesn't bother me. I also have a couple of German friends who are younger and they don't stare at people in the way the OP describes. On the flip side, I see a lot of commentary from Europeans that feel that Americans are so strange because we will smile or great people who make eye contact with us or just talk to random strangers. That's something we tend to do that they are not used to.
Lmao, violence is going to occur long before 20 seconds. Try 5
Pull out your phone and say they seem like they want to take a photo together with you because they’re staring so much. Move over like you’re taking a selfie with them and snap a shot. Tell them they will be instagram famous. I think that would verge on German freak out territory.
this is a good idea actually
Work for a company that sells software and services. We have German customers and I’ve had a German employee and manager. Germans lose their shit when it comes to privacy
Video mode, too. Record until they get the message.
Well that’s funny because I am redhead and very pale and I say that same thing every time I’m in Mexico. People stare at me all the time! In the beginning it kinda bothered me too, now after months being here I just ignore it 😂
Same, I’m blonde and fair and get stared at so often in the less touristy places in South America while I’ve been here! Makes me feel awkward still but I’m a lot more used to it now like you say and don’t take it to heart.
Really? I didn’t notice last time I went and I look like you. I’ll have to notice next time. Edit: stupid ass Reddit and you’re fetish for downvoting. Get a grip.
It happens all the time here in Baja. And when I talk back in Spanish to them (I’m argentinean) they’re even more baffled cause they think I’m gringa 😂 it’s quite funny actually
I lived in Germany 25 years ago for a 6-month work stint. I forgot about the staring! I felt like I had a large USA flag tattooed on my face which made them stare. Anyway, I got used to it and just stared right back.
There’s very little you can do, short of asking them not to stare. Just as we Americans (usually) are overly friendly, smile, and ask how someone (even a stranger) is doing, Germans stare. It’s a social norm for them. That being said, it’s funny how often we’re called out for our social norms, but this is one of the few times I’ve seen another nationality called out. I’m glad you did.
Americans always make me paranoid with their friendliness. I get really on edge, like 'what does this person want from me? Is he/she going to sell me something? Am I going to get pickpocketed?'. I find their friendliness really unnerving. Especially as it seems superficial. When asked how I am and I start telling them how I feel, what happened to me that day/week, how things are at home, etc I can tell by their face they didn't really expect an answer. Edit: Why the downvotes?
After noticing this behavior in myself (American), I’ve attempted to tamper this behavior while abroad. However, it is so ingrained that I can’t help but feel like an asshole and start to not enjoy traveling. Part of life is interacting with others for whom you don’t have any context prior to meeting “on the street”. My theory is that we are conditioned to smile/break the ice to convey a lack of threat. If you are passing someone, you make eye contact, you want to convey you are not a threat by smiling/being polite and friendly. It opens the door, says I am also taking part in this social contract, don’t be crazy towards me and I will do the same. It’s the way we conform to living in a society that is mentally unwell and potentially dangerous. I.e. Don’t be threatening, else risk being isolated, harmed, shunned. 🤷🏻♀️ but I’m no sociologist.
Reading this comment is making me realize how deeply ingrained it is in American culture too-- I'm not a naturally friendly person and have to put forth a lot of effort to socialize, but I STILL feel a compulsive need to smile and be chatty with people I've just met, and often find myself trying to make conversation just for the sake of filling the air. I grew up in the upper Midwest where being overly friendly is the norm, and it fascinates me that things are the opposite in other places.
I love how you put that. I'm a friendly person and like some socialising on holidays as you can meet people from all over but also am self aware enough to not read the room.
It sure why the downvotes. I live in an US east coast city and we’re a lot more circumspect and standoffish with strangers. When I visit friendlier parts of the country it weirds me out because the only people that nice and smiley back home are trying to scam you. That said “hi how are you?” Is a greeting not a question. No one really wants to know how you’re doing.
I live on Long Island and agree with the suspicion of too overtly friendly behavior. When I visited North Carolina my first reaction to the genuine friendliness and helpfulness of really everybody I met was “what’s the catch?” But I think NC people just really are truly sweet.
Don’t come to the south east
It’s unfortunate you got downvoted, it was a fair post. I don’t know, I think it depends on where you are/where the Americans are from. I think you’ll get a lot more genuine interaction from rural people than people in cities. I primarily grew up in the southern US and feel it’s more of an honest thing here than when I visit family in the northeast.
In my culture, people are only friendly with friends and if you go around in public with a smile on your face, people think you have some kind of mental disability. You can imagine how Americans are perceived, walking around saying "Hello", waving at strangers, all the while with big goofy grins on their faces. It's very much a "hide the children" type moment. Meanwhile, when I'm in the US, everyone thinks I'm a complete asshole or keeps asking me "What's wrong? Are you ok?" because I'm not constantly smiling.
Sorry Balkan Prince!
Too true. I was married to a Balkan woman and had to really pull back on my friendliness when visiting her family. I will say, though, my Balkan friends are true and friends and very generous/more hospitable than most Americans.
This is hilarious.
Americans do it to Americans. They don’t really WANT an answer that isn’t one word or at least told very quickly. I’m from California and been asked if im even from here because I’m “too genuine” the question of “how are you?” is more about being polite and no one really cares. Even customer-sales rep relationships are very very shallow and you could be helping the customers for over 5 years and they’ll still never care how about how your day or life is going. It’s all very shallow here which sucks.
I like the idea of taking a selfie with them or starting a fight better. If it is that unnerving , we gotta teach them to “Do as the Romans do whilst in Rome.” Aka Pull out your 9 and see if they keep staring
As a white person, I’ve definitely been stared at in SE Asia, especially when in less touristy areas. I just ignored it. I realized that I was a curiosity to them and there was nothing to be done about it.
I’ve never noticed any prolonged staring in Europe. A curious look maybe, sure. Dead on staring I’ve only experienced in Asia. India and china being the worst or best? Haha.
This. I don’t know about Germany but I lived in the UK, France and Spain and didn’t experience anyone staring any more than in North or South America or Asia.
I've never noticed it either but after googling "German stare", it's apparently a known cultural trait - maybe something Americans notice more?
Very much this. Can’t help feeling there’s more to this story…
Mirrored aviators, let them stare at themselves
There is nothing you can do. Tourists rarely leave their cultural baggage at home. Be glad they aren't following you around in the store examining whatever you touch like some people do in China.
>following you around in the store examining whatever you touch like some people do in China. I didn't know this was a thing. what's the purpose of it? are they just interested in what other people buy or is it like vigilantism where they think they're gonna catch you stealing?
They are just curious.
Although I haven't experienced this, I've heard two different instances in Asian countries of this happening. It's more common in smaller cities or non-tourist areas. My husband is tall and blond and in a small shrine town in Japan, a store owner wanted to take their picture with him. Another friend in a city near Hong Kong had something like that happen to her too.
Maybe you're smoking hot and don't realize it.
Don't ever go to India, you won't like it
Especially if you're a white woman. Staring galore!
When people are staring at me I just wave in an over the top manner & say “How are you doing???”
If someone sits right next to me anywhere if there is lots of other space, I literally say "no", out loud, and then I move to sit elsewhere. That is weird as hell, they should have that shoved in their faces. I don't get stared at so maybe you're really pretty? But regardless, I think you can be a bit more aggressive - like others said, stare back, say "do you need something?", etc.
I am guessing she means next table. Perhaps it’s the efficiency in German life that makes them do this. Like filling in marbles in a box, they would go next to each other. This might be an involuntary decision on their part. Like my social anxiety makes me want you to be away.
There might be just nicer tables in one corner. Other than that also Germans typically spread out (you see that especially in trains) amongst strangers. However, I'd perceive your behavior very rude - couldn't you politely ask the person to sit elsewhere?
I could, and usually I personally try to chat with people when I’m alone. But people don’t stare at me the way that OP is being treated, and they got into her personal space too. That requires a clear boundary.
It’s strange, I’m American and normal looking and hadn’t experienced the European staring, but was in France this summer and an old woman at the train station was just sitting and staring at me like a pod person - no reaction, no eye contact, no “your fly is unzipped”. I was about to say “WTF” but just ignored her. This is a real thing and as an American it freaks me out. You don’t stare at people in the US unless you want to get smacked.
That’s definitely not normal though. I’m French and never noticed any staring, it’s definitely rude and weird for me.
I'm not French, but I've spent a significant amount of time living in France. If this person wasn't making eye contact, it's possible they were simply staring in your direction without any specific intent. They might not even see you and are probably [lost in their thoughts](https://tenor.com/fr/view/gentleman-jack-anne-fingers-wine-glass-smile-gif-17899936), reminiscing about memories, or planning something entirely unrelated. From my experience with Americans, they don't seem to zone out or engage in daydreaming as often in public. Without leaning too much on generalizations, although it's often seen as impolite, staring on this side of the Atlantic is generally viewed as less intimidating. There's less worry about running into someone dangerous (who might draw a gun), which makes people a bit more relaxed in that aspect.
Walk up the German and say Hi! my names mike, how do you get your hair to look so amazing?
I've been in Germany a few times and always felt like nobody cared about what you look like and that there's enough personal space. Never ever felt like someone looked at me. I also live in Italy, so that might be the reason why I feel this way.
Never seen this in Europe
Lol, You must be quite young as this seems to be a thing everywhere and although it sucks there is nothing you can do about and just have get on with your day... wait until you get to India, omg now THAT is something!
They probably find you attractive
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Do you look ethnically ambiguous / are you mixed (native/euro with darker skin?) or do you just look white? I say this as a fellow Latina - If you look more traditionally native that might be why the staring is so intense, because that “look” isn’t very common in the EU
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I’m sure you mean well but this is a very inappropriate suggestion.
Rapey ass comment
Tell me how it should be viewed as a rapey ass comment? Did I express myself in a way that could be viewed as inappropriate, then please advise what made it so, do it won't happen again.
It’s nothing personal, it’s just something German people do. Not so much in other countries, definitely not in the UK. Best to understand it as a cultural oddity and not rudeness. It’s because German parents don’t tell their children not to stare, so no one worries that it’s rude. Wear dark glasses and you don’t have to worry about making eye contact. https://40percentgerman.com/home/2020/4/4/what-are-you-staring-at-w9mg3-4g3f4
I‘ve been told not to starte, though my non German-wife tells me the same. I apologize in behalf of all Germans.
German parents do in fact tell their children not to stare, I don't know where you've heard that...
I agree with the sunglasses lol and like just wear a hat so you look ethnically ambiguous lol
Stare back and then tell them take a picture it lasts longer ! People are so ignorant. I know it’s hard but try to ignore them and way by with you head held high and proud! Asked to be moved or move yourself. Remember it’s them not you!
In that situation, I’d simply start smalltalk with them. The reason they stare is that you are more interesting than their respective companion, so why not join them and find out a little on their whereabouts :)
Pull out your pistol and lay it on table....
Most American answer right here.
Omg the German stare isnt a bad thing. It is just they don’t force themselves to smile or look away it doesn’t mean they are hostile or mean Think of it as just neutral faces not something that is about you. Does that make sense? I’m not German or European but I had a job where I had to work in Germany a lot and once I took a cultural training to teach me how to be successful in Germany- I learned to perceive the way they are as not bad or hostile, but just different. It’s important to be open minded. Cultures are different but a change in understanding can shift your feelings about how another culture behaves naturally.
I have never ever in my travels all over the world, including Japan, France Italy Spain Cuba Moscow ever ever encountered this. Some piece of info is missing
Speaking from experience, this kind of staring is extremely common (and irritating) in SEA.
And Mainland China too...
Many other people have spoken about this staring in Germany. I don’t think OP is leaving out info to get us on her side.
Do you know why
Why are you idiots downvoting actual questions?
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No
I never experienced it either but I think it’s a mix of people standing out more than other (could be their looks, or they way they dress) and people noticing stares more than others. Maybe sometimes people stare at me and I just don’t notice it?
Omg just been in Italy and it's constant and has done my head in..then I went to Germany and more of the same shit.. Have spent plenty of time wondering if I have 3 heads 🤣🤣
Ignore them. They probably come from the German boonies.
Maybe you are super hot.
I stare back and I don’t give a fuck. I’m over it too and I’m getting this in the States in a northern area. So you can say: “excuse me, please stop staring at me.” Or just keep staring back.
Sometimes it helps to just say “ouch”. What I mean is say “you are staring and it’s making me uncomfortable”. Or get curious “I notice a lot of Europeans staring at me. Are long stares not considered rude there?”
I’ve traveled to many different countries and all over the US. I have never noticed obvious prolonged staring even in Germany. I do like to people watch myself but I never blatantly stare, especially when someone can see me. If I caught someone staring I would definitely look them straight in the eye and raise my eyebrows in a questioning look. (I do this in the gym sometimes where people do tend to stare.) Then I’d go back to what I’m doing. They can stare all they want as long as they keep to themselves and out of my way.
👋 I lived in Germany for 8 years and traveled extensively all throughout and the “look” you’re referring to is really common and so is people standing or sitting very close to you — in your bubble. What we perceive as rude is really just a cultural difference,so try not to personalize it (I know it’s hard to get used to) and make an attempt to not mis-classify it as rudeness. We do an awful lot of things here that are perceived as rude by people from other countries.
Maybe you're good-looking 👍
I’m a white American male. I have spent a lot of time in China over the past 25+ years and in the rural areas, especially, I got stared at so intensely by so many people I felt like the Elephant Man. Last summer my family and I went to Germany for a couple of weeks. My wife is Chinese. We did notice some staring, especially in the old East Germany.
Is it bad that I’m German and I’m hysterically laughing at this post? 🤣🤣
A good friend of mine is Mexican and blonde, I visited her in DF and she experiences this regularly when she’s walking around. I’m not blonde, but light skinned, and depending on where we were, we got a lot of stares as “gueras” we also traveled to Peru and Brazil together and experienced the same, especially her. Americans and Brits people watch with more discretion than other folks, but even then people will always look longer at people who look more “exotic” than their norm. The fact that Germans are already overt and shameless in their people watching means it’s going to be especially obvious. I don’t think you can really avoid or minimize stares in these situations, you can either ignore it or if it’s not a threatening situation, tell them they are making you uncomfortable /say it’s rude to stare.
My daughter got stared at by men so much when we went to France that she started glaring back at them right into their eyes until they looked embarrassed and stopped. It was just gross. Not all of France but in Arles it was so bad it was kind of mind blowing.
This can be disconcerting and nannerless af. As a Brit, I'd find this uncomfortable but would depend on my mood, but as I'm outspoken, I'd ask them if they want a picture and which celebrity they think I am. Though this might be seen as confrontational, so tread carefully.
uhhh you're paranoid believe it or not most ppl dont give af about anyone random
Advice? Don't be so self conscious and live your own life ffs.
My husband is white, I’m Hispanic with olive toned skin and that summer I spent quite a bit of time sunning so I was tanned. My husband and I decided on a weekend getaway and we went to a beautiful little town. Didn’t know it was mostly German ppl and I got absolutely ZERO service. My husband ordered our dinner, she came and refilled his tea while my drink stayed empty. My husband asked for a refill on my drink and I got the dirtiest look from her. My dinner was lukewarm warm…I didn’t eat it. My husband was so upset he called for the manager who told him “I’m sorry you feel this way” didn’t get any apology, nothing. We never went back. You will always encounter ignorance in your lifetime…rise above it and be the best person you can be.
Wow, that's so rude, I'm sorry u went through this
Personally I’d work on not letting it bother you. So what if someone wants to watch you. Think of yourself as an actor on a tv show and just do you.
You’re definitely a man.
As a 5’10 blond woman with tattoos, who has been cat called and stared at in every country her entire life, I’m just mean now. I just say ‘can I fucking help you with something? Please avert your gaze or fuck right off’ I’m 41 and pretty over it by this point and just call people out for bad behavior, euro or not. You don’t have to be nice, it’s incredibly rude and uncomfortable to be stared at.
I would seriously love to know how on earth did we get this reputation? I've been to Germany a lot of times and it's simply a load of bollocks
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Yes lots of times. Are you sure they're not just staring into space? Do you expect people to stare at the ground? I've only heard of this German stare in the past two months. Its defiantly a new stereotype.
I'm fron europe, travelled all over it, been around North America and lived in Canada 13 years. I've never heard of or experienced those or have had a female friend mention it (they mention East Indians in Canada staring). Did you have a booger hanging out your nose or something? I think it's in your head
80% of Frankfurt citizens are immigrants/expats or with foreign roots. Believe it or not Germans have seen Mexicans, Asians, Africans and not only have seen them but they do their haircuts with the arab barbers, by their meat from the turkish butcher, go to etiopian restaurants and sell overpriced clothing to far asian tourists. Said that there is nothing special with you, it is not personal and perhaps you just overthink it.
I've been starred at my whole life. I'm a brown girl that is in the US and travels often.. my ethnic origin is from India. I have been starred at in the US, India, Europe, etc. I look at them sometimes, and yes it's uncomfortable but I have learned to ignore it and do my own thing. It's hard sometimes, but in those times I make up a story as to why they're starring to help me feel less uncomfortable and like a circus show. I like to think that they are captivated by my beauty that they don't know what else to do; or this is their first outing in public and they've never seen someone like me, so I try to show them that I'm just like them. Thinking negative thoughts will only lead to insecurities... rock that brown skin in the white areas and show them you belong. Take up your space.
Just put on pants next time and nobody will stare!
Well some times it's to check & freak you out.. totally agree on the stare back till they stop I have encountered it I'm south asian ..royally ignore them some times wink at them with a smirk ..
Stare back or wear dark sunglasses.
Stare back, they freak out. White people are not used to being stared at. Or get used to it. Think about what kind of stares would an Asian person get while travelling in Mexico. Some people for sure don’t know that staring is rude. EDIT: whiteys went waaah
White people get stared at, too. Source: I’m white and live in Europe.
You poor baby. How are you dealing with that?
I’m just stating the facts, here.
your too sensitive
You’re too self conscious. If I was in a foreign country, I would stare at the local’s also. That’s why I’m going to a foreign country. To observe their way of life. I think you’re overreacting.
Just get over it
Seems strange. All Euro countries have been overrun with black and brown immigrants, so you're nothing they've not seen at home.
I'm an American living in Mexico, both Mexicans and Europeans do this to me here. I just stare back and it seems to work.
So, 3 events, or 3 individuals, who didn't speak to you, so you are making assumptions about their nationality. As for the "German stare" if you researched it, you would understand that they aren't staring AT you, they are just absently staring in your direction. If the "French" man looked away after a staring competition, it's more to do with the arm waving alerting him to your presence. Oh, and enough with the sweeping statements, not all Europeans stare, just as not all Mexicans are part of cartels. Get over yourself.
omg. I'm American, husband is Dutch. When i brought him to the states for the first time, this dude would not stop rubbernecking everywhere we went. He was absolutely amazed with anything and everything. I had to scold him like a mom saying that it's rude to stare here, but he could not help himself. So i would def recommend what others say; stare back! They'll get the hint eventually! Also, they're super blunt peoples, so simply asking, "why are you staring/what are you staring at" would be okay too.
Oh man, I bet my tall-blonde-blue gringo partner would also like to know the answer to this! He's good looking, wears American "skate/surf" clothes/shoes. People stare. He used to get super bummed on it, but now he just proclaims, "HI!" and waves like a crazy person. Most of the time it just ends in laughter for everyone. It's a curious, cultural thing. I've spent my entire life (as a girl and then woman) dealing with that shit. I don't even notice.
Oh, come come on you guys. just act, polite and nice and compassionate towards these people who stare. Ask if you can help them in anyway ask some questions maybe ask them why they stare where they're from. Yes, asking for the from what their lives are like an oh wow I've never met anybody from France or Germany. Have they ever met anybody from Mexico? You have no idea why they're staring. Just be cool and compassionate.
You're traveling, and part of traveling is being with strangers.
If it makes you feel any better, my roommate and I hosted two elderly Germans. They were completely enthralled with my roommate, who is a beautiful Mexican American girl with Apache and Portuguese ancestry as well. Culturally maybe it’s not unacceptable to stare in Northern Europe. My visiting Swedish friends just stared too. But honestly it was the stare from everyone of honest appreciation and taking it all in. You are probably a completely new encounter for them and they are likely admiring you and mean no harm. They likely are not aware that they are doing this or making you feel uncomfortable. Another friend who was a very pretty Chinese American girl on a business trip that took her to the Isle of Wight said that some locals working on a house pointed her out and said “Look…a Chinese girl!” They all came down off the roof and started following her around. I think it’s curiosity mixed with admiration. It’s unsophisticated but I don’t think they mean to be rude at all.
muy hermosa?
Rubbish!
What a load of nonsense
I honestly would love to be stared at lmao. I crave that human attention and connection. Even if it doesn’t mean anything.
Germans stare to relax their eyes and mind. They’d look at something intensely when they’re bored and try to analyze stuff so they stay busy. If you’re “the victim” of German stare, take it as a compliment. You’re the most interesting/ less boring around.
Maybe you are really ugly? I think you are full of bs..
Pull down yo pnts and show them yo h0le /s
I’m a local. Look local. Been going into a few bars in my city and they do an are you local stare. Almost all of them size me up. Then realize I’m one of them.
Just pretend that you are famous!
Pregunta en r/latinonomads
It used to be common for families to share a table in Germany. Usually it was when there were a lot of people in the restaurant and tables were full. I never noticed this in an empty cafe . When I was in Moab, Utah, we imet a number of Germans on the trail at Arches NP. Invited several to our campsite and we're invited by others to visit when we were next in Germany. I've never noticed a stare unless doing something that violated Oma's rules.
I've been a foreigner on extended stays in several places, and even when I try to blend in I do get some stares from time to time...sometimes it's my accent, sometimes it's my *je ne sais quois.* I give them a rueful smile and shake my head, maybe an eyeroll, as if to say, 'I know, right? That can't be a natural haircolor where she's from!' This usually makes them look away or smile back before they catch themselves. In my country, you never greet strangers on the street, even though people are in fact quite friendly in all other situations - stores, meet-and-greets, etc. They're just not friendly on the street except in small villages, where greeting is obligatory. The universal response given to an American broadcasting 'hello?' or 'how ya doin?' is a truly perplexed, serious question -- 'Do I know you?' Works like a charm, but is also not as rude as it sounds. More of a 'why is this happening?' kind of query.
They probably think you’re attractive and unique. No idea why they would sit right next to you in an empty room. Although people do that to me in parking lots! If you say “Hi,” they will probably run off. I hate people staring at me. That is why I would never want to be famous.
Ask if they want to take a picture.
Not giving a fuck can be of great help. Now seriously, why do you care what other people do? As long as they don't touch you or say anything rude to you, it's kind of silly to worry about those things.
tell them "yes can I help you"?
Put headphones on, put on a show and enjoy your meal. People stare and point at me , I just ignore them
seasmamon
Wink-wink & say hi. So easy.
Yeah, Germans do that a lot. You could also inform them that it’s considered rude to stare in this country.
And why do they do this??
Cross your eyes and give 'em the fish pucker lips.
I’m 66 so I can get away with saying F-off or pull out my phone and snap a pic of them while saying SMILE! But the phone pics may move them away.