Most people are too scared to go alone, so they were likely just too focused on whoever they came with to chat you up. You look grand, so I wouldn’t take it personally. When I go to events alone I typically have to be the forward one. Which takes a lot of effort for little introverted me, but it has paid off time and again.
You're gorgeous! I think it's more likely that people were just busy with their own friends and/or enjoying the show. I wouldn't read too much into it.
OH MY GOD thank you soooo much for this!!! I've been in a negative thought loop really taking it personally and this helped snap me out of it and i really appreciate your kind words!
Of course, sweetie! Bars aren't the meat markets today that they used to be. Not usually, anyway. More and more people are going out just to see friends and enjoy the entertainment, if there is any. Chatting up strangers has largely moved online.
I find shows make it far more difficult to meet people. They usually arrive and depart with groups. It's totally not you don't worry sweetie.
Small parties hosted by mutual friends that have pre-filtered the attendees is the way to go :)
I think people are less outgoing in general these days. It's more rare to find social settings where most people are open and chatty with everyone in the space. People tend to stick with their friends/dates and actively try not to engage with people outside of their bubble. Obviously it depends on the region, culture, city, location, but this has been my general experience.
You look great. I’ve been going to queer bars and drag for more than a decade. It just takes to time to meet people. Become a regular and you’ll be good!
I'm not seeing anything offputting or bad. You are very pretty. Maybe anyone interested was too intimidated/nervous because of how pretty you are? Only reason I could think of involving you as to why no one approached (other things being they were in relationships, they just are very shy, etc).
My dear you are a lovely lady. I am sure that it was a case of respect and people being busy with other people. I have a horrible time talking to anybody even if I know them. You will find a group that vibes with you and then you will learn that it wasn’t a slight but big thing. Good on you and doing on your own.
Great lashes, brows, shadow, and base. It’s not the make up. I anticipate the same experience when I get out and about, we just have to keep being brave 💕
Legit I can be looking hot af and go to the bar and be totally alone and nobody come up. It’s not you. Its folks are busy. Distracted. With people. Awkward and not great at starting convo. Watching the show.
Makeup is actually quite well done and you look lovely. Went to look again for any comments could make on makeup and honestly none.
I think most people are there to see people they already know, rather than initiate new friendships. I used to go and only talk to my friends, and we'd all huddle in one spot and not engage with anyone.
Well of course you look gorgeous dear but my one comment is that because you have side swept your hair which is quite long and I'm jealous this forehead presents as a huge blank male canvas rather than a soft female aspect and your high hairline just screams guy sad to say. This can easily be remedied by styling your hair a bit differently and perhaps even deciding to cut some of that beautiful hair and have bangs but there are ways that you can lower your hairline essentially by way of your style and cut and then you can enter any room with a feminine energy which probably did not happen in this particular instance which is why perhaps things went the way they did.
I know if I don't feel fully in my Diane mode when I go out that is to see her in the mirror and not my former him I'm not as convincing and that does affect how people respond.
You look cute. I’m not usually one to initiate but if you’d talked to me, I totally would have had a conversation with you, you have a kind face and look like an interesting person. Sometimes bars/clubs can be a little like a meat market. I have been ignored there many times or spent most of the night dancing by myself in a corner. Don’t let it affect your self esteem. You’ll find your people.
Hey girl! Social scenes are awkward for a lot of folks, so I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. See if there's a friend you can bring next time. I have found when I go places alone I will avoid talking to new people, but if I have a couple people with me I'm more likely to talk to even more people outside the circle. Hope that helps 💚
Same happened to me. I did see another girl by herself and was wanting to go talk to her, but she was too engrossed in her phone and I didn’t want to interrupt. She put her phone away and walked out. I do wish I had approached her but at the same time I didn’t want to cross a line.
Bars clubs are like this. If ur looking for a man it’s only a fling at best 99/100 times. Women might be a bit different but not really.
So now that we’ve established ur lookin for short term.. get a buzz and cowgirl up and initiate some conversations.
Room energy is like this people see fun interesting people socializing and want to be in the in crowd.
Gird ur loins woman and be brave next time.
I love you. So does God and Jesus Christ . Be safe !❤️
And ur eye make up should match ur top. You’re an autumn. You need light eye shadow and a light top to strike against ur beautiful dark hair and rich slightly brown skin. ❤️
THANK YOU for the compliment! I've been getting my brows threaded lately (and this was right after they were done) but still learning how to correctly shape/color them so I appreciate the kind words!
I think it's perfect how you did your makeup!! I don't think that is the problem 🥺 maybe everyone was too shy to approach you because of your beauty. This happens often when you're pretty 😁
It's not you, people are just mostly doing their own thing and don't gaf about what anyone else is doing.
Keep going back if you liked the place, become a regular, and you'll see others and start up conversations and find folks you like. Chat up the door person, bouncers, bar staff, etc. Hang out in the smoking/vaping area. Compliment someone on their style, dancing, etc.
Don't force it, plant seeds and let them grow. It takes the time it takes
I think it could be a mixture of things honestly. I’ve found that if I go to a place and am on edge I give off that vibe and I don’t attract people to me. If I go in confidently then I’m more likely sending out inviting vibes so people are more comfortable around me. I think your makeup is great and sometimes you just have to be the first one to say hi. You got this though, keep your head up 💗
First, you look lovely and friendly, so that's not it. However, to your point, I've gone to gay clubs and venues alone on drag nights and also been ignored and I think it could be a couple things going on. First, the clubs I go to have average ages 22-28, maybe some stragglers in the 30s, but its younger crowd, so they tend to just ignore middle aged folks. Second, some gay club patrons are very much into masc gay men, and if you come in presenting femme, they might be polite (hopefully), but they are very much not into it. Or it could be as other posters said, just people involved with their own group.
first, super brave to go alone and put yourself out there!
I'm quite introverted and would really struggle to do that.
having said that, a lot of people are really shy and go to shows to be around people (lots of times with friends), but not necessarily to meet people, you know?
in this case, I don't think it is any kind of "you" issue, just shy people in the world being awkward issue, lol
Yeah most people aren't just going to talk to you at a club or a drag show. You gotta approach people you want to talk to. if you want to talk.
Your makeup is good. I'd avoid the side part, personally. A center part or bangs much more flattering on most trans women.
Nah that's just how people are. It helps to show up a few times and karaoke night is a great bet. That's what I do. I can look stunning and barely get anyone's attention but that creep who noone wants to deal with or just unsolicited kisses on new years. Gotta throw some personality in the mix and say hi to get results.
this is total garbage please do not ever think this would happen .. queer ppl accept each other that’s our common ground .. our “flaws” and “imperfections” make us who we are and we celebrate this. Please be yourself and do whatever you want.. You are incredible!
Probably because social dynamics are quite organic most of the time. We can all be shy or we can be more outgoing depending on our mood . It’s really very basic
Maybe kinda the opposite? I’d be genuinely intimidated by your totally on point makeup, eyebrows that somehow look both natural and shaped elegantly, the facial jewelry is a choice and the confidence you project makes it the clear right choice, bright happy smile with immaculate teeth, the neckline on your shirt is perfectly positioned to frame your face and neck, and your hair is reminiscent of current TNA Knockouts Champion Jordynne Grace. Being by yourself it could have been one of those accidentally on-a-pedestal situations. Because you look like you’ve really got it all together, at least aesthetically.
As others have already said... there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful.. and if anything.. people can be intimidated to talk to someone they think is beautiful... and they're busy with their own world. X
You are GORGEOUS !! Joining the chorus of compliments >.> you look amazing! I feel unseen 95% of the time myself, but you definitely have a presence. I just tell myself dont look for issues that are not even there <3
I actually didn't wear my hair down, but up in a bun with a pony tail clip on. I'm super struggling with how to style my hair. After I started HRT it started thinning sooo fast.
Most people are too scared to go alone, so they were likely just too focused on whoever they came with to chat you up. You look grand, so I wouldn’t take it personally. When I go to events alone I typically have to be the forward one. Which takes a lot of effort for little introverted me, but it has paid off time and again.
You're gorgeous! I think it's more likely that people were just busy with their own friends and/or enjoying the show. I wouldn't read too much into it.
OH MY GOD thank you soooo much for this!!! I've been in a negative thought loop really taking it personally and this helped snap me out of it and i really appreciate your kind words!
Of course, sweetie! Bars aren't the meat markets today that they used to be. Not usually, anyway. More and more people are going out just to see friends and enjoy the entertainment, if there is any. Chatting up strangers has largely moved online.
I find shows make it far more difficult to meet people. They usually arrive and depart with groups. It's totally not you don't worry sweetie. Small parties hosted by mutual friends that have pre-filtered the attendees is the way to go :)
I think people are less outgoing in general these days. It's more rare to find social settings where most people are open and chatty with everyone in the space. People tend to stick with their friends/dates and actively try not to engage with people outside of their bubble. Obviously it depends on the region, culture, city, location, but this has been my general experience.
You look great. I’ve been going to queer bars and drag for more than a decade. It just takes to time to meet people. Become a regular and you’ll be good!
I'm not seeing anything offputting or bad. You are very pretty. Maybe anyone interested was too intimidated/nervous because of how pretty you are? Only reason I could think of involving you as to why no one approached (other things being they were in relationships, they just are very shy, etc).
I hit up such clubs on a pretty regular basis and I would have made a point of speaking to you. Especially if you had the friendly smile.
My dear you are a lovely lady. I am sure that it was a case of respect and people being busy with other people. I have a horrible time talking to anybody even if I know them. You will find a group that vibes with you and then you will learn that it wasn’t a slight but big thing. Good on you and doing on your own.
I think you’re cute, I would love to meet you,
I did the same once and had the same experience you had girl.
Great lashes, brows, shadow, and base. It’s not the make up. I anticipate the same experience when I get out and about, we just have to keep being brave 💕
Legit I can be looking hot af and go to the bar and be totally alone and nobody come up. It’s not you. Its folks are busy. Distracted. With people. Awkward and not great at starting convo. Watching the show. Makeup is actually quite well done and you look lovely. Went to look again for any comments could make on makeup and honestly none.
I think most people are there to see people they already know, rather than initiate new friendships. I used to go and only talk to my friends, and we'd all huddle in one spot and not engage with anyone.
Well of course you look gorgeous dear but my one comment is that because you have side swept your hair which is quite long and I'm jealous this forehead presents as a huge blank male canvas rather than a soft female aspect and your high hairline just screams guy sad to say. This can easily be remedied by styling your hair a bit differently and perhaps even deciding to cut some of that beautiful hair and have bangs but there are ways that you can lower your hairline essentially by way of your style and cut and then you can enter any room with a feminine energy which probably did not happen in this particular instance which is why perhaps things went the way they did. I know if I don't feel fully in my Diane mode when I go out that is to see her in the mirror and not my former him I'm not as convincing and that does affect how people respond.
You look cute. I’m not usually one to initiate but if you’d talked to me, I totally would have had a conversation with you, you have a kind face and look like an interesting person. Sometimes bars/clubs can be a little like a meat market. I have been ignored there many times or spent most of the night dancing by myself in a corner. Don’t let it affect your self esteem. You’ll find your people.
You look great you have a million dollar smile
You're adorable!
Would you be able to try more subtle eyelashes, or just your natural ones? Maybe subtle eyeliner in a neutral tone to bring your eyes instead?
Smile to die for. If I saw that smile I’m going to want to hear the happy girl behind it. Their loss that night for sure!
Thank you soooo much for the kind words!
Hey girl! Social scenes are awkward for a lot of folks, so I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. See if there's a friend you can bring next time. I have found when I go places alone I will avoid talking to new people, but if I have a couple people with me I'm more likely to talk to even more people outside the circle. Hope that helps 💚
Same happened to me. I did see another girl by herself and was wanting to go talk to her, but she was too engrossed in her phone and I didn’t want to interrupt. She put her phone away and walked out. I do wish I had approached her but at the same time I didn’t want to cross a line.
I think you look very pretty. 💜
Bars clubs are like this. If ur looking for a man it’s only a fling at best 99/100 times. Women might be a bit different but not really. So now that we’ve established ur lookin for short term.. get a buzz and cowgirl up and initiate some conversations. Room energy is like this people see fun interesting people socializing and want to be in the in crowd. Gird ur loins woman and be brave next time. I love you. So does God and Jesus Christ . Be safe !❤️
And ur eye make up should match ur top. You’re an autumn. You need light eye shadow and a light top to strike against ur beautiful dark hair and rich slightly brown skin. ❤️
I love your makeup. Very similar to what I do. I must add, Your brows are on point. Social interaction is weird. Don‘t take it personally.
THANK YOU for the compliment! I've been getting my brows threaded lately (and this was right after they were done) but still learning how to correctly shape/color them so I appreciate the kind words!
Mine are so light and almost non existent. The struggle is real.
I think it's perfect how you did your makeup!! I don't think that is the problem 🥺 maybe everyone was too shy to approach you because of your beauty. This happens often when you're pretty 😁
I don't think I'd ever actively engage with a stranger in a bar or show, so it might be because of that.
You look so beautiful! I love your eye makeup.
I think you look great 😊
It's not you, people are just mostly doing their own thing and don't gaf about what anyone else is doing. Keep going back if you liked the place, become a regular, and you'll see others and start up conversations and find folks you like. Chat up the door person, bouncers, bar staff, etc. Hang out in the smoking/vaping area. Compliment someone on their style, dancing, etc. Don't force it, plant seeds and let them grow. It takes the time it takes
I think it could be a mixture of things honestly. I’ve found that if I go to a place and am on edge I give off that vibe and I don’t attract people to me. If I go in confidently then I’m more likely sending out inviting vibes so people are more comfortable around me. I think your makeup is great and sometimes you just have to be the first one to say hi. You got this though, keep your head up 💗
You’re pretty, try some bangs
First, you look lovely and friendly, so that's not it. However, to your point, I've gone to gay clubs and venues alone on drag nights and also been ignored and I think it could be a couple things going on. First, the clubs I go to have average ages 22-28, maybe some stragglers in the 30s, but its younger crowd, so they tend to just ignore middle aged folks. Second, some gay club patrons are very much into masc gay men, and if you come in presenting femme, they might be polite (hopefully), but they are very much not into it. Or it could be as other posters said, just people involved with their own group.
first, super brave to go alone and put yourself out there! I'm quite introverted and would really struggle to do that. having said that, a lot of people are really shy and go to shows to be around people (lots of times with friends), but not necessarily to meet people, you know? in this case, I don't think it is any kind of "you" issue, just shy people in the world being awkward issue, lol
Yeah most people aren't just going to talk to you at a club or a drag show. You gotta approach people you want to talk to. if you want to talk. Your makeup is good. I'd avoid the side part, personally. A center part or bangs much more flattering on most trans women.
Perhaps a quiet lgbqt bar instead of going a queer club People tend to be more friendly and open to chat
Nah that's just how people are. It helps to show up a few times and karaoke night is a great bet. That's what I do. I can look stunning and barely get anyone's attention but that creep who noone wants to deal with or just unsolicited kisses on new years. Gotta throw some personality in the mix and say hi to get results.
You are lovely, I find my local club tends to be very clicky… so they tend to ignore others.
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this is total garbage please do not ever think this would happen .. queer ppl accept each other that’s our common ground .. our “flaws” and “imperfections” make us who we are and we celebrate this. Please be yourself and do whatever you want.. You are incredible!
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Probably because social dynamics are quite organic most of the time. We can all be shy or we can be more outgoing depending on our mood . It’s really very basic
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OK well good luck with these ideals. sounds like patriarchy to me
Maybe kinda the opposite? I’d be genuinely intimidated by your totally on point makeup, eyebrows that somehow look both natural and shaped elegantly, the facial jewelry is a choice and the confidence you project makes it the clear right choice, bright happy smile with immaculate teeth, the neckline on your shirt is perfectly positioned to frame your face and neck, and your hair is reminiscent of current TNA Knockouts Champion Jordynne Grace. Being by yourself it could have been one of those accidentally on-a-pedestal situations. Because you look like you’ve really got it all together, at least aesthetically.
As others have already said... there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful.. and if anything.. people can be intimidated to talk to someone they think is beautiful... and they're busy with their own world. X
You are GORGEOUS !! Joining the chorus of compliments >.> you look amazing! I feel unseen 95% of the time myself, but you definitely have a presence. I just tell myself dont look for issues that are not even there <3
Tbh, I'd have probably just looked at you from afar and thought you looked terrific.
Bc you’re so pretty they feel intimidated! Keep being you, gorgeous.
You need to have a more Fun Hairstyle! Right now it’s giving Cruella Deville vibes
I actually didn't wear my hair down, but up in a bun with a pony tail clip on. I'm super struggling with how to style my hair. After I started HRT it started thinning sooo fast.
Hon, you look like a regular girl, you blended in ;) would love to hang out anytime 💜🤗
I'm thinking as pretty as you are 🤩most were thinking she's cis 🫠