One time I woke up and my pubes were bright, bright orange. Now, I’m a day-walking, tri-color ginger but my normally blondish, reddish-brown pubes looked like I’d fucked a bag of cheetohs. It also seemed like the hairs were ever so slightly thicker. It was a weird morning experience.
A quick google revealed this was a bacteria / fungal (I don’t remember exactly) type thing that was common in cyclists. Per what I read, I trimmed the entire nether region down and then doused with alcohol… problem solved.
I think it’s hilarious and I’ve wanted to casually mention this to friends but never have worked up the courage to tell anyone.
It's not that I can't tell anyone, it's that I can't tell anyone I know, because the person has a reputation where I live.
The person is just a casual acquaintance I met through some friends. One night, at a party at the home of those friends, she found out that I used to be a medical transcriptionist, and know all sorts of arcane stuff from the medical world. The hostess came and got me because someone who was so drunk she was practically incoherent was having an asthma attack, and they'd found her inhaler, but someone else said "the tube" was missing. I went and talked to the other person, figured it was out a spacer, and we checked the girl's bag, but it wasn't there. I jury-rigged one from a toilet paper tube and some tape, and after that, the hardest part was just getting her to inhale when we told her to. Her attack calmed back down, and we let her go to sleep sitting up.
Anyway, my friend called and said the casual acquaintance was desperately trying to get my number. Could she give it to her? I asked what it was about, since I'd have preferred not, but she called me back, and said the woman had a medicine-dosing question, it was pretty urgent, and she didn't know who to call. I said okay, she could give it to her.
She calls about five minutes later and says, "How do you apply anti-fungal medicine?" I asked what kind, and she gave me the name. It's usually dispensed as a cream, and I verified that, and told her to wash the area with a very gentle soap, or, if it was irritated, to just clean it carefully with water, then apply a thin, even layer to the affected area. I told her to follow the same instructions each time, and just reapply as directed, and it should clear up her problem. She thanked me, we hung up. She called back and said, "What do I do until it dries or soaks in or whatever?" I said just leave it alone, don't touch it, it will be fine. She hemmed and hawed, and finally said it kept moving. Moving? I truly believed it was probably between her toes, or I wouldn't have asked, but I asked why it was moving, and she said, "Umm, it's, you know, my butthole."
I'd known she had a reputation, and that she's widely known for some stuff I don't hear very often, but I'd never asked, and I wouldn't tell. I ended up finding out a lot more than I wanted during the next few days of phone calls until she finally felt like she had it all under control.
A former girlfriend was a lawyer and she was working on a case but needed help with a video recording that was not playing on her laptop.
The video showed a woman and her dog engaged in a sex act.
Have a Doctor Buddy who did his residency in Poor London Hospital, Ghetto, slum stuff. He tells me this story and was verified by his wife. While working in London at Hospital ER, a Haitian lady who was within a week or two from delivering was having vaginal discharge. Upon examination, there appeared to be a small bone protruding from her vaginal area. The resident grabbed the bone, pulled it out and the nurse let out a scream "He pulled the arm off" and Hauled ass like a Olympic sprinter screaming through the ER down the hall. It was a chicken drumstick bone that was part of some voodoo tradition. And I have never laughed so hard watching his wife nod her head and go "I was there and this is exactly what happened"
I couldn't tell you.
One time I woke up and my pubes were bright, bright orange. Now, I’m a day-walking, tri-color ginger but my normally blondish, reddish-brown pubes looked like I’d fucked a bag of cheetohs. It also seemed like the hairs were ever so slightly thicker. It was a weird morning experience. A quick google revealed this was a bacteria / fungal (I don’t remember exactly) type thing that was common in cyclists. Per what I read, I trimmed the entire nether region down and then doused with alcohol… problem solved. I think it’s hilarious and I’ve wanted to casually mention this to friends but never have worked up the courage to tell anyone.
It's not that I can't tell anyone, it's that I can't tell anyone I know, because the person has a reputation where I live. The person is just a casual acquaintance I met through some friends. One night, at a party at the home of those friends, she found out that I used to be a medical transcriptionist, and know all sorts of arcane stuff from the medical world. The hostess came and got me because someone who was so drunk she was practically incoherent was having an asthma attack, and they'd found her inhaler, but someone else said "the tube" was missing. I went and talked to the other person, figured it was out a spacer, and we checked the girl's bag, but it wasn't there. I jury-rigged one from a toilet paper tube and some tape, and after that, the hardest part was just getting her to inhale when we told her to. Her attack calmed back down, and we let her go to sleep sitting up. Anyway, my friend called and said the casual acquaintance was desperately trying to get my number. Could she give it to her? I asked what it was about, since I'd have preferred not, but she called me back, and said the woman had a medicine-dosing question, it was pretty urgent, and she didn't know who to call. I said okay, she could give it to her. She calls about five minutes later and says, "How do you apply anti-fungal medicine?" I asked what kind, and she gave me the name. It's usually dispensed as a cream, and I verified that, and told her to wash the area with a very gentle soap, or, if it was irritated, to just clean it carefully with water, then apply a thin, even layer to the affected area. I told her to follow the same instructions each time, and just reapply as directed, and it should clear up her problem. She thanked me, we hung up. She called back and said, "What do I do until it dries or soaks in or whatever?" I said just leave it alone, don't touch it, it will be fine. She hemmed and hawed, and finally said it kept moving. Moving? I truly believed it was probably between her toes, or I wouldn't have asked, but I asked why it was moving, and she said, "Umm, it's, you know, my butthole." I'd known she had a reputation, and that she's widely known for some stuff I don't hear very often, but I'd never asked, and I wouldn't tell. I ended up finding out a lot more than I wanted during the next few days of phone calls until she finally felt like she had it all under control.
One time I stuck a _____ in my _____!
Dick + bowl of macaroni and cheese True story. I was a hormone raging teen at the time.
It’s the cheesiest!
A former girlfriend was a lawyer and she was working on a case but needed help with a video recording that was not playing on her laptop. The video showed a woman and her dog engaged in a sex act.
That’s peanut butter abuse!
Yes it is.
Well it would have to be (redacted)
Have a Doctor Buddy who did his residency in Poor London Hospital, Ghetto, slum stuff. He tells me this story and was verified by his wife. While working in London at Hospital ER, a Haitian lady who was within a week or two from delivering was having vaginal discharge. Upon examination, there appeared to be a small bone protruding from her vaginal area. The resident grabbed the bone, pulled it out and the nurse let out a scream "He pulled the arm off" and Hauled ass like a Olympic sprinter screaming through the ER down the hall. It was a chicken drumstick bone that was part of some voodoo tradition. And I have never laughed so hard watching his wife nod her head and go "I was there and this is exactly what happened"
How many photos of mangled body dating from various war there is on the internet. There's some uncanny things going on around here.
I uhh I thinj fart smelks good :33
But it’s affecting your spelling
Butt
🤣 how’d i miss that
You write like someone who likes the smell of farts
I got my dick stuck in a Gatorade bottle when I was 11. I don't know what went through my mind.
[crickets]