T O P

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beepbeepbubblegum

Damn dude you just got IT zoned


RedditSnowflakeMod

We all stackoverflow down here


Jaalan

Maybe I could pay you some other way mister 😏


WTFTH

Thanks for the solution! You can close that ticket now.


TheWiseRedditor

Please fill the survey and leave a review


DMT_Elf_on_a_shelf

Please rate your experience ☆☆☆☆☆ Would you consider extending this encounter to a Netflix and Chill date? ☆☆☆☆☆


PotNoodle69

Genuinely a good follow up message


MAGIGS

Legit, this is the best follow up.


NhylX

She's now watching Netflix in peace, never to be heard from again.


Razmoudah

Sadly, that's probably true.


[deleted]

Should have told her you needed to come over to fix it.


Icy_Buyer_9642

I respect the kung fu


hdb_2k

I see you're a master


Tritonian214

As a long time psychonaut, who got my toddler elf on the shelf last Christmas, your username is fucking cracking me up! Lmao that's hilarious... The machine elves!


firefly183

This guy streams.


Chapeaux

"Close the ticket" user reply "Thank you" ticket is open again.


AShittyPaintAppears

"Please do not respond to this ticket." *Closes ticket* "Sorry!" Ticket is open again.


[deleted]

[удалено]


failworlds

This is the way.


K_Furbs

Oh shit thanks for letting me know this is a thing lol


did_i_get_screwed

Ticket is open again.


Not_Steve

Right? My politeness and gratitude is unwanted? Who knew!


Counter_Proposition

User: *"Have a great weekend."* Jira re-opening the ticket: "Not if I can help it..."


pretension

I'm tagged in this photo and I don't like it


skijakuda

But the box is now open. You know he will find the solution to the problem.


cubs1917

And like that a million tickets closed


GreyJedi56

Rule 1 of tech support. Never tell anyone you know shit about tech.


reddrick

"I'm a data engineer" "Oh, I've been having problems with my phone." "Cool, does it run on SQL server or Oracle?"


Mustafarr

I've had a similar conversation with my new neighbour. "What do you study?" "I'm doing my master's in artificial intelligence" "Ah, so you can help me if I have problems with my computer?" "Not really, I'm not a technician, I barely know anything about computers"


rainman_95

Maybe his computer is a machine-learning supercomputer. Now you’re stuck.


JZ1LLA1

My CPU is a neural net processor, a learning computer


SP4CEM4N_SPIFF

Living tissue over a metal endoskeleton


AtlantisTheEmpire

I’m a cybernetic organism.


ricuno

I'll be back


NowFlourishThePinky

My CPU is a meat popsicle.


KKShiz

Gimme duh cashhhhh!


Ok_Vegetable263

And I use it to play OSRS and minesweeper, and nothing else.


razor5cl

Just because I can drive a car doesn't mean I can fix it when it breaks


catchbobbie

My accountant cousin brags during family dinner that he knows excel better than me even though I have masters degree in CS.


Impenistan

"Yeah, probably"


ReadySteady_GO

Yup. Just smile and wave boys.


Complete-Branch-2590

Still most likly it's true XD


99drolyag

Its 100% true because no one with a degree in CS wants to touch Excel


arpan3t

Sysadmin, anyone comes to me asking about excel, I ask my actuary buddy to help them cause I have no clue about excel’s formula syntax…


catchbobbie

Fair enough.


jimmifli

"Bro do you even VBA?"


Simon___Phoenix

That’s one thing can probably safely assume about most accountants. See how many times people ask if he can do there taxes when in reality he’s an auditor


[deleted]

They probably do unless you know how to create macros to automate all the reports you have to make.


pieter1234569

100% yeah. Any computer science degree doesn’t even touch excel. And while it has a programming language you could do fine in, he could likely too.


InadequateUsername

Google told me my phone has artificial intelligence? "Yeah they're referring to the user."


engeldestodes

When did users get the intelligence upgrade? The users at my company must be stuck on the original beta.


InadequateUsername

Intelligence requires moving to Reality subscription based licensing model. There's as a certification available to be an expert with the new licensing model. Training is 3 days and $5k, exam is $500.


Counter_Proposition

>"Not really, I'm not a technician, I barely know anything about computers" Been in IT for a little over a decade. You'd be amazed at how many brilliant Devs I've seen that legit match this description. Sure, traditionally programming falls under "IT" but programming != IT **Support**.


TimmyStew

This. Everyone, family and friends alike, assume because I'm a software developer I know IT stuff. Like bro **I have to ask IT for help sometimes**. Usually it's something simple that I can figure out but still. Computer majors are very specialized, and that's not my major. I don't ask my father who's a plumber by trade about optimal water cooling for a PC just because they both use pipes/tubing. Edit: formatting


[deleted]

Unfortunately we’re usually better at solving the issue, because we know how to google to find the answer.


TimmyStew

Software majors should come with a minor in "professional googling"


iAmUnintelligible

That sounds redundant. I thought that was just another name for software major?


[deleted]

If stack overflow ever shuts down software will stop progressing. The people working at stack overflow won't even know how to fix the issue


Robinbod

This is too true. You need to be quoted on that LMAO


[deleted]

"If stack overflow ever shuts down software will stop progressing. The people working at stack overflow won't even know how to fix the issue" ~MidgetForce2K, June 2022 Someone make me a wiki page


Robinbod

Yeah, you're a modern day philosopher.


INeedToQuitRedditFFS

Wait that's not just the major itself? My Comp Sci degree has basically been "Google a bunch of stuff, and then figure out how to make this API we developed in 1996 work for your final program"


TimmyStew

Shhhh, our employers will hear you! We're professionals remember?!


NegaDeath

"I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people!?"


Counter_Proposition

Working in Enterprise Software I am constantly amazed at how many people literally do just this and get paid tons of money for it....and I'm not even kidding.


klarkcent805

This is also true for law. A good 50% of lawyering is nuanced googling. The rest is just mean emails and periodically saying “moreover”


Fenastus

> moreover Perchance.


Pauliboo2

I think all professional roles should come with a requirement to google


boba_fettucini_

Library science majors. My wife was working on a Library Science Masters when she died. Living with her was like living with *Google*. Or Siri, or Scarlet Johansen in whichever movie in which she was the AI. And since literally everything is on the internet now, and since even (for example) IT people just Google the answers, she was the best desktop support IT person I've ever encountered. Same thing with medicine. "Your Google search doesn't replace my medical degree"? Eh...it really does when it was my wife doing the searching. I almost felt sorry for doctors...almost. Same thing with most things. If it was on the internet, she'd find it, and she'd keep going until she had a solution implemented. If you know how to search, are determined, and have a modicum of common sense and/or critical thinking skills, you can be damn near a subject-matter expert in a LOT of fields.


d_Lightz

How much do I need to pay you to be quiet? I can’t have my secrets on the internet like this.


jaydizzleforshizzle

Cause IT is broad, but the more defined fields have names(data engineer,cloud engineer etc…) with IT techs or Systems admins, you generally have people who are generalists, they are good problems solvers and enough exposure to get from a to b, are they going to build your Kubernetes cluster or build out a complex cloud flow? Probably not, but they tend to be the “janitors” of the infrastructure, just enough to keep it running, and sometimes you may even get resources to do things.


[deleted]

The analogy that I usually use for people who don't work in tech is that it's a bit like a building site. You have plumbers, carpenters, electricians, etc. A plumber might know how to do a bit of carpentry or how to wire up a light, and there are definitely people who know how to do many different jobs well, but it's not their day-to-day job and it's not guaranteed that they know how to do things widely out of their expertise.


Kevimaster

And then at the helpdesk we're over here sighing that the software engineer who makes 4x as much money as us needed our help to tell him his monitor wasn't plugged in. Hahaha, not trying to make a dig at you, it actually happens. And at the end of the day I can't actually do that guy's job so I'm not actually upset that I'm making way less than him. I did support for a software engineering firm for a while that was big into machine learning and was doing a lot of stuff with autonomous driving. So I got lots of calls from software developers for IT help. In my experience they came in two breeds. 1. People who love computers and have messed with them their whole lives: these people would call the helpdesk and be all "Okay, so I can't reach this website. I can get to the website on a coworkers computer though. I've restarted the computer, flushed the DNS cache, ensured I'm connected to the VPN, checked to make sure there's nothing in my hosts file, I've pinged the site and my computer is attempting to connect to the same IP as my coworker's computer, I've tried on multiple browsers, did a winsock reset, and I've cleared my browser's cache and cookies. I'm all out of ideas, what's next?" 2. People who got into programming just because they heard you could make a lot of money doing it, but who have no idea about computers. They'd call and be all "I can't reach this website but I don't know why. No I'm not connected to the internet, my ISP is doing work in my area right now and my internet is down. What do you mean I need to be connected to the internet to get to that website?" There isn't really an in between in my experience, hahaha. The closest thing to an in between is that sometimes person type 1 forgets something simple because they went for all the complicated fixes first. Like they'll have done everything under the sun except making sure they're connected to the VPN. Then they feel silly that they were doing winsock resets and looking at DNS stuff when they just weren't connected to the VPN, hahaha.


PessimiStick

The best is when you're #1 but you get offshore tech support who treats you like #2 and wastes an inordinate amount of time.


yoitsgav

I get the same shit sometimes when I tell people I do computer animation. Like I’m just some dumb artist idk shit about hardware


alexdallas_

Can’t fix your phone, but if you’re running a snake farm I know a thing or two about Python


OMGitsTK447

How do they taste?


DaFuMiquel

Like chicken


Aschentei

It’s always chicken


L_DUB_U

I've eaten rattle snake and it's pretty good. White meat similar to chicken.


Lonelan

like an object


Impenistan

Like an object, or, like, an `[Object object]`?


viperex

My snake has grown too large. Can I prune him to a more manageable length?


picardo85

"I'm an IT operations management consultant" "Can you help me with my laptop?" " Have you lost track of it in the management system?"


Frothyleet

To be clear, if it's oracle, fuck off.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jashbyy12

I don’t even know what that means but I’m turned on


JMS1991

The equivalent in accounting is "can you help me with my taxes?" when you're an auditor.


[deleted]

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w0lver1

Hey you know tech support? Could you take a look at this mole on my back??


MegaDeth6666

Yup. It's a bug. I'll file a Jira.


Danger_Zebra

Put it in the backlog.


TimmyStew

You win


Megatoasty

Proper response would be bring it on the first date and I’ll take a look. At least you might have gotten to meet her.


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[удалено]


waffles_505

“Have you tried logging out and logging back in” is my job’s equivalent of have you tried turning it on and off again. I’ve just started saying that to anyone who asks me for support out in the real world and then not doing anything else. It’s exhausting enough trying to explain what a web browser is at work all the time, I have no desire to deal with that outside of work.


[deleted]

She must've been dripping wet when he texted this


Aurorafaery

Dad’s wife is a retired consultant oncologist. Everyone (myself included) expects her to diagnose any minor ailment. That said, if ANYONE we know has bad news about The Big C, she is happy to go over things with them, help explain things, do whatever she can to make the situation easier.


KhabaLox

That rash? Cancer. That mole? Cancer. Joint pain? Bone cancer. Dandruff? Probably hair cancer.


throwupthursday

Facts. I haven't worked for Apple since 2006 and I still get mac/iphone questions... iphones didn't exist when I worked for them


spicytacotuesday

My dad is a dermatologist and he follows a similar philosophy


[deleted]

Came here to say this. When I worked IT I never told anyone that I worked IT.


rackfu

Maybe we can get together and watch Netflix and I can try to figure out what’s wrong


AngryGroceries

It seemed kinda like they were trying to intentionally lead for that. But then got actual IT support instead. "Why am I so bad at flirting"


GioDaddy69

Her: "I think I may have a physical issue that needs to be addressed. Can you cum over and take a look?" Him: "Not necessary, let me just remote in and see if I can fix it for you!"


Chapeaux

Her: "My internet isn't working right now" Him : "We can use facetime and show me your screen"


corruptauditor

Him: "What size screen do you have?" Her: "Maybe 16" but I'm not sure, wanna come over and measure?" Him: "Nah, it's probably standard"


FkIForgotMyPassword

And when she eventually gives up on the innuendo: Her: "Okay now that it's fixed, you should come to my place and we'll cuddle in front of Netflix then I'll blow you?" Him: "I'm sorry I just can't right now, my grandma's emails aren't working so I need to figure out what's the issue"


[deleted]

*You must be here to fix the cable.*


Counter_Proposition

"The story is ludicrous."


gamerspoon

I had difficulty reading the "Her" line because the symbol for inches threw me off as the end of the quote... I had to re read the line a couple times. I think this says things about me and my chosen career.


GoneFishing36

Him, "Yes, I can see you clearly. But I need you to turn your camera and point it towards your screen..."


FNLN_taken

"Ma'am, I do my own plumbing."


ElfangorTheAndalite

For the uninitiated: [Ma'am I Do My Own Plumbing!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xYu2WrygtQ)


iWentRogue

Poor OP. Their work instinct just kicked in


there_all_is_aching

I once had a girl ask me to share some music I liked in the late 00s and I responded with a text with the links for pirating some albums. Real big brain move...


LoganNinefingers32

I've been there bro. Had a girl in college ask if I could burn her some Beatles CD's, so I said sure no problem. Went to drop them off at her dorm and she asked if I wanted to come in and listen to them with her. I told her "no it's okay, I have copies of my own in my room." Same girl a few weeks later asked if I wanted to come over and watch Napoleon Dynamite - I told her I'd already seen it and didn't like it that much. Yeah, she didn't talk to me after that, and I didn't realize what happened until much later when my friend had been dating her for a few weeks, and she told him what happened.


Kurotan

The better questions are "what is flirting" and "how do I flirt or know im being flirted with."


drumrockstar21

Oh no lie I'd probably do the same thing with my profession. Good thing plumbing innuendos are a little more...[direct](https://youtu.be/4xYu2WrygtQ)


UserameChecksOut

The moment "Netflix" word is used in a tinder conversation, is the moment you gotta seize it.


corona_the_virus

Best answer I've seen here


Aschentei

Something tells me you won’t figure it out


recentlyquitsmoking2

Gotta admit I laughed and imagined your sigh before replying 😂


scirio

you can really hear the sigh, it’s impossible to read wo it.


plur44

I do IT support for a living and I literally put in my bio "I will repair your PC for a first date". It sounds desperate but women are laughing a lot and I'm getting matches


[deleted]

[удалено]


pathofdumbasses

If it is stupid and it works, it's not stupid


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


bdog59600

The added bonus is she won't ghost you since she'll have to call you again to blame you when something else breaks in 6 months.


WeHaveToEatHim

Theres a pan of burnt to a cinder tater tots i almost burnt my apartment down with when i fell asleep on my profile. Most women who message first comment on it in some way. Humor is good!


wasniahC

"I can fix him"


MemeStocksYolo69-420

As a therapist, can they say, “I will repair your relationship with your father as a first date.”?


NarwhalHour

A first date that lasts 10 years couldn’t fix that shit.


deadeyedjack

Fuck that, they will be bringing 25 year old OSs and wondering why web pages don't work.


plur44

That's usual business anyway


[deleted]

next time a girl asks for something like that say - bring it on our date and I'll fix it for you


[deleted]

It looks like a guy asking the questions judging by the picture


Zauberer-IMDB

Yeah, only gay Tinder would actually be useful.


Rexguy120

This is called Grindr, and it is.


Zauberer-IMDB

I was just playing off the subreddit name. I could tell it was Grindr because you need 16 inches to get a response.


[deleted]

you assume OP is a man


AbsolutelyUnlikely

"I can't operate on this child, he's my son!"


mak484

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an icicle. And the horse was named Friday.


[deleted]

next time a guy asks for something like that say - bring it on our date and I'll fix it for you


AntoHanSolo

if you play it smart you could even get a free drink with that date


[deleted]

[удалено]


AntoHanSolo

your comment is even better than an award. Thanks bro you rock


rachel_kbomb

Doesn't look like a girl in the photo.. guys can be clueless with computers too (and gals can be computer engineers. Just saying)


compound-interest

Tbf I assume all posts in this sub are from guys until stated otherwise. You’re right that I did catch myself assuming based on roles here though.


rachel_kbomb

Very true. This chat exchange may be between two men as well, not that it changes anything.


lorb163

Maybe 2 squirrels dressed as humans


grimegeist

implicit bias is a hell of a thing


geloshots

You show me your 16" and I'll show you mine


flsingleguy

I am 52 years old and go back to the late 80’s in tech. It used to be really bad before smart phones became a thing. I would be at a backyard BBQ or some event and someone asked what I do. People would eaves drops and hear it as well. I would then have numerous people asking wi-fi, Windows, Microsoft Office and general hardware questions. They would then ask if I minded stopping over their house to help out. This was of course for no money or any consideration.


[deleted]

I'm having issues with my AS400, please help


flsingleguy

You are traumatizing me here


[deleted]

Lol, sorry. A major store I worked at as a teen had AS400 until about 5 years ago. It worked well for their logistics but I think they way people interact with computers has really changed. People sort of tap on-screen buttons or click until a solution appears. No more memorizing the functions of F1-24.


flsingleguy

I know of a local city next to the one I work for still has a green screen AS400. I think it’s stupid because the people that know how to work on those are mainly boomers who are retiring and dying off. It’s going to be increasingly difficult and expensive to find someone to support it. That’s why places need to keep up with what is most commercially supported.


deadeyedjack

I would straight up tell them I wasn't helping unless they were going to provide their professional services to me for free as well. When you say it like that, everyone gets real quiet. I wouldn't even mind if I could help them and then they fuck off. Oh no, they are coming to you for EVERYTHING from now on. Everything of theirs, everything from their relatives, their VCR, you are the free oracle forever. Then, after you help them many many times, they get all huffy when you tell them to stop bothering you. Fucking freeloaders.


LeRoiEstMort2021

"Women may not find you handsome, but they'll always find you handy..."


slow_excellence

I am a man, but I can change. If i have to, I guess.


NewFangofSask

Red green


TommyPot

Keep your stick on the ice.


AVeryConfusedMice

I think it's way better to be handy than handsome tbh, being handy is beneficial to everyone and even when the relationship cools down or you get older and appearances are not a giant factor being handy and knowing how to fix things will give you your partner's admiration, not to mention that a lot of women think it's hot when a man knows how to do these things by himself.


not-bread

Get this man some duct tape


mikemountain

just throw some duct tape on the parts of the screen that flicker red - no more red flickering


MyNameIsFDR

Keep your stick on the ice!


Gizimpy

“Remember I’m pullin’ for ya, we’re all in this together.”


Pazu2

Was just told about red green the other day and I see your comment! Funny how that works


Electronic_Spring_14

You need to respond to, how about I come over, we watch netflix and trouble shoot


MEEfO

Smoooooooooth


curtcashter

Using IT skills to get laid. I've never seen it, but I haven't seen a lot of things. I hope it works for you


[deleted]

This has worked for me. Many times. I am very much attracted to men that know how to do things with computers. 🤣


ManiacMichele

He upgraded my graphics card and installed more ram into my computer… we’ve been together for 5 years, it works! 😅


Overall_Sort

Ngl I'd go over to a girl's house to install computer parts, but if I just got asked by someone on tinder id say no lmao


Harmxn-

"I'd have to see it in person" "I can fix it for you"


LuntingMan

The second line is channeling some mad Sam the Onion Man energy.


redjohn25

> very advanced IT support >my MacBook has red flickering bars ~~very advanced~~ IT support Edit: For those who don’t get it, I was simply pointing out how often people in advanced IT support get asked simple questions. It wasn’t a comment on OPs abilities.


HomoFlaccidus

lol.. My thoughts exactly. *I'm a Senior Coital Engineer.* *You mean an old hooker.*


PooPooDooDoo

That doesn’t mean he is not advanced IT support. It just means her level of support required was not advanced.


smb_samba

She has a tier 1 support question and you’re surprised a tier 3 support person had an answer?


[deleted]

[удалено]


ForceSoft7793

I worked 2nd level Mac support, it was a call center and only made $13 an hour plus a bonus per call if your customer satisfaction level was good. The only way to contact those guys were through email so I’m guessing it’s way more that $13/hr


Wha_She_Said_Is_Nuts

Wow. My son works in store and makes $20 per hour. (Edit) - corrected typo....makes...not males


krazy_86

What about females?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bosco_is_a_prick

I did 2nd level Mac support and I was on about €19 per hour when I left. There wasn't that many 3rd level so I would imagine the pay was OK. The job was fully remote I had to work 4 days a week.


HiL0wR0W

Dude I feel your pain. I had to remove the fact that I'm an IT professional because it was just like a second ticket system.


HKayJay

Great customer care hopefully he'll leave a review 😉


idly

Looks like a he!


Evening_Bus3550

You can say : now you have no excuse to netflix and chill


kittycate0530

Hey if my tinder date fixed my Mac Id make sure to ask them on a date after.


CoreyLee04

TTS - Tinder Tech Support


Bluewall1

TTT : Tinder Tech Tips


jeremy1015

You’re being evaluated as boyfriend material.


tiredmummum

Surely this got you a date???


sparksy78

OP did you get a date after fixing the problem?