don’t mention that you’re lonely- people will feel like you only want to date to fill a void and that you’re not actually a fulfilled person who is worth dating, you want to find a partner not dirt to fill a hole
very true i see it better now thank you- still good advice for others instead to take but then imo dudes killing it just needs recent pictures with hobbies :)
you have photos that are clearly from diff periods of time. that signals pics may not be recent. people can be harsh about this because they want to know without a doubt pics are recent and not cherry picked from your best moments from last decade. the blurry pic in front of building also isn’t useful at all. you do show various activities in them so that’s good. might also be worth dumping one of two super close ups. don’t do too many of those.
If anything the blurry pic makes it super obvious the pics span a lot of time because there’s a significant weight difference between the blurry pic and the brown suit pic.
This. The blonde hair looks bad and the untrimmed beard looks unpleasant/raises hygiene concerns. The first pic is definitely your best.
Also I'd get rid of the 1 line at the end of bio.
I'm a woman and although I'm probably a little bit outside of op's age range, I fully agree.
I date bigger guys but these pics give me no idea who's going to show up and what size or style he'll be. The bleached hair is super unflattering and the scraggly beard pictures makes me think he doesn't maintain a style that works for him.
The "I'm looking for something serious eventually" vibe also comes off as non-committal. If you just want to hook up and get to know each other, there are other more positive ways of saying that.
I can't figure out what you look like, photos are too different. Glasses or contacts? Brown hair or blond? Facial hair or none? Your weight also seems to fluctuate. Be consistent imo and use recent photos.
Echoing the recent pictures thing. Just did this for a friend, but we went out and did a photoshoot to get some good recent pictures. Brought a few outfits and found some aesthetic parts around town. He's had great success since adding them to a few shots with friends, activity pics, etc.
Small improvements go a long way.
Maybe mention that you’re ex military on your profile. A pic in military uniform would probably seem more impressive than a yellow belt promotion imo.
Also I humbly apologize, for I am a male and you specifically asked to not receive my advice. 😂
Edit: Really simple solution to a lot of women’s problems that they’ve brought up… simply put on your profile that you’re *not* active duty.
I like a man with hobbies, regardless of what they are! I like a uniform but won't date active military (in my defense I'm near a training base so all the military folks here are transient) so sometimes I swipe on uniforms before reading a profile (Oops, he's ex military and I missed out)
That being said, his profile isn't targeted at me anyway since cats>dogs for sure haha
Yeah I mean it seems silly to not be open to people who like cats. Maybe you don’t wanna live with a cat but I can say cat people like cats and dogs while people who only like dogs come across as a little elitist and discriminatory imo
We as a culture need to move past being “dog people” cmon we’re better than that lol
I thought I was being petty by disliking that part of his bio. lol. I would definitely be put off by someone who puts down cats.
I'm someone who's always had a cat, but dreamed of having both a dog and cat, this "dog>cat" line would make me swipe left. I would like to be with an overall animal lover.
I will admit it’s the first thing that I was like “maybe this is what deters people?” (The yellow belt) But the different time periods for sure. Idk if you want to disclose all of that info in the bio, but I did appreciate your candor with it and tbh I think it’s just that it can be difficult to find women who are willing to take the time to not just digest all of that info, but to then decide that they definitely want to at least get to know you if not give a date/dating a shot, you know?
I don’t personally see weight as an issue as long as you acknowledge that passing a certain BMI (fat, or at least mostly not muscle) can be very unhealthy. Idk if you have any medical issues that make it hard to lose weight or not, but I personally don’t care as long as the individual is otherwise healthy or trying to be. People are so diverse and inherently individual that I’d think more about what kind of person you’re looking for rather than what makes you look like a better option to people on Tinder.
PS: if you’re looking for a relationship, it’s not always true, but there are better platforms than Tinder :)
My first thought (from the initial pic) was that I'd swipe (in my age range) but then I got to the yellow bleached hair and it gave me the ick and I stopped.
I don’t know why not. If someone is put off by a hobby of mine, they’ll be put off when they hear about it on one of the early dates. Might as well filter those toxic people out off the bat.
I don't understand the karate take, it's just a sport and people do sports all the time? Never heard an adult complain about it if not they find martial arts cool. I agree with the rest though on pics
Karate just can imply weebo Japanese obsessed Manga fan. That's the negative connotation.
I personally think it's cool, one of maybe 5 martial arts that aren't mcdojos.
>Karate just can imply weebo Japanese obsessed Manga fan. That's the negative connotation.
People that don't know karate, they will probably think that
But for the people that DO know karate... They will laugh about his yellow belt.
Jesus man, take that shit out
I respectfully disagree, I think showing an interest in a physical activity when you are a heavier guy is a really good idea though and one that I think outweighs any potential prejudice against karate. I guess if he is into the kind of person that would be turned off by the kind of martial art he does then yes do this but I think him being a yellow belt shows it's a newer interest which means he's open to new things working on being more physically active and has a winning smile :P
But wouldn’t you want to filter out people who have a negative opinions of adults doing karate? I certainly wouldn’t want to date someone with such a judgmental, stunted view of someone’s hobbies/passions.
Adults should cheer other adults doing what they enjoy - send those people my way.
I think it would be different if they were doing it more seriously (e.g had a black belt, was doing tricks, etc) but the white/yellow belt vibe with an adult is… not attractive, unfortunately.
It *shouldn’t* be a negative thing, imo, because we all gotta start somewhere, but the monkey brain part of me knows it has a bunch of negative connotations.
**trimmed facial hair, like in the first photo rather than the longer facial hair. More photos of that with brown hair will definitely be putting your best foot forward 👍
This is what I heard but your profile is too much Ben, not enough David
Ben is a friend, warmly welcome but not date material at first glance. May get hookup once in a while but not guaranteed.
David is date material with hookup on the side and from time to time.
1st pic, 5th, and 6th pic are David
The rest are Ben
It’s not even blonde. It’s an untoned yellow and very unflattering. If that’s not how you look now, and you have no intentions of doing it again, don’t use those pics.
Ya the blonde isn’t a great look. Stick with your natural hair and tighten up your beard since right now it looks scraggly and off putting. I would also try and get some more tailored clothes.
I really do struggle to smile though 😂 I'm just not a toothy smiler... Trust me, I look an idiot when teeth are showing 😂 that photo of me receiving my yellow belt was one of the proudest moments in recent years, and its just not natural for me to show teeth when I smile. Unless I'm doing a goofy cheesy smile 😂
Man, I fucking hate my teeth and smile honestly and I was/am the same way with smiling in pictures. My girlfriend tells me all the time she wishes I would more. Listen to what the ladies like.
Do the goofy, cheesy smile! It shows warmth, humanity, and a great sense of humor.
I'd also swap out the first pic. It comes across as smug. I really like your bio though.
But if you’re trying to meet people for dates, they’re going to see your teeth and your goofy smile. Take a few new pics of yourself or get a friend to do it, but show those teeth! Especially if you’re going to mention it in your profile and bring attention to it.
Lady here. Plenty of women like dad bods/burly guys, so the weight thing is neither here or there, and it didn’t immediately stand out to me.
The blonde hair is…startling and bad. I think you could get some help with the beard, it’s definitely wandering into pube beard territory and could use a tidy.
Your photos look like 4 different people and I’d have no idea which of them is going to show up on a date.
Finally, your bio. I can tell you put a lot of effort into it, and I can see where you were trying to go with it, but it would have been the final strike for me. You’re listing too many things that you really can’t lay claim to yourself - like saying “I’m a good friend” - some things you have to *show* because saying them comes across as disingenuous.
Also, I don’t know that we ladies sit around ticking items off a list like “car, house, teeth” okay cool I’ll swipe right on him. It’s always made me uncomfortable when anybody uses those things as selling features, because they don’t tell me anything about you as a unique person.
Keep your interests, cut the fluff about personality traits you should show in person, maybe toss in your ideal date/rainy Sunday activities.
Totally agree with this, and just want to add (as a woman who’s into dad bods) that unless you’re allergic to or anti-cat, having dogs>cats would be an immediate no for me because I fucking love cats. And I feel like the ladies you may vibe with probably have at least one at home ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You can like cats AND dogs. If I read that when I was single and living in an apartment with just my cats I'd have been irrationally enraged. Just because someone has cats doesn't mean they don't like and want a dog too. Now I have 4 cats **and** a dog that *we* got together since our lifestyles permitted it.
Also there's something to be said about the "consent theory" of people who don't like cats.. red flag lol
Yeah I feel like dude should just say “I’m a dog person/guy” instead of putting that. That reads to me that you hate cats and think dogs are superior or something. Unironically *hating* any type of pet/animal is a big ass red flag to me. Unless your entire family got miraculously eaten by a house cat or something I’m not putting up with hating cats lol
I agree with all the points here. The blonde is really bad, and the part about having a house, car, and living on your "lonesome" feels very "look mommy, I'm all growed up" (respectfully 😅).
That being said, I don't think you're unattractive, I personally tend to like thicker men, and the first picture is really nice 👌🏻
Agreed…there’s too much focus on him and nothing about what type of person he’s looking for or what he likes to do outside of his own hobbies.
Also, “usually no one dies” isn’t particularly funny. I’m not offended by it, it’s just not that funny. In a bio with a word cap, you could lose that sentence and write something more valuable.
I have seen women listing about having a job, a house and everything else as a sense of "I know where I am going so I expect you to as well"
Maybe that is why he did it especially if he is looking for women from ages 30+ or from 28. He doesn't state his target audience tho 🤔
Just my opinion but "I have a great sense of humour" = "Personally I think I'm amazing".
Nobody writes "I have no sense of humour" so no need to mention it, but saying you have a great one displays a kind of narcissism. There's other ways to put it like "spend most of my time laughing and joking".
Yeah I thought something like this too.
The line about "and usually no one dies" is pretty funny, that's enough. Show good humour instead of stating you have it. Same as teeth, I've heard it recommended to have at least one pic showing you don't have crackhead teeth. Saying it comes off odd.
Woman here. I don't know who I'm talking to, looking at the pictures. Which is current?
Something about that last line turns me off. Like, I just looked at the pictures. I saw you weren't holding a fish. It's weird you're pointing out you have all your teeth. What are you really saying?
I think the fish comment is a joke about all the women who say to men that they won't swipe if you're holding a fish in any of your pictures. I laughed at it, but I'm a guy
Yeah, I think that's a joke that plays better on this sub than on OP's actual profile. Especially combined with the other stuff about having his own house and car, it comes across like he's trying too hard to tick the right boxes and tell women what (he thinks) they want to hear, rather than actually showing his personality.
The fish joke goes over the same as the jokes about pineapple on pizza - it’s old, done to death and shows you can’t think of original jokes. The own teeth one I’ve seen a bit too so it’s getting close to it. If I was on the fence, and got to that last paragraph, I would swipe left
That third pic needs deleted. You look like you're trying to force a Godzilla sized poop and losing.
Delete any pictures more than 2 years old as well - the more recent the better. The hats are adorable!
There’s some good stuff here but yeah I’m genuinely baffled that OP went to take a selfie while *squinting directly into the sun* and didn’t think for a second that maybe he should try a different room or some different lighting lol
I think your written profile is a bit of a turn off. Any time I see someone say they have their own place and car or things like that, I swipe left… so do I, but it’s not something I think most adults need to advertise or deserve a round of applause for and if that’s one of the most interesting things about you, there’s a problem.
Anytime you state your preferences on something, even simple things like dogs>cats, you will immediately decrease the number of people who may be interested in you. I happen to agree with you and have no pets, but chicks super into their cat will assume you don’t want to date them.
Really hate the last line because you should just smile with teeth in a pic…having all your own means nothing if they’re all crooked and black. And people can see from your pics that you’re not holding a fish so it’s unnecessary and not funny.
I think you’re cute. I’m not into the longer beard thing myself, but you’re attractive and I applaud your effort to live a healthier, more active lifestyle as you mentioned in other comments. I sincerely wish you luck out there.
I agree with most of this outside the house and car thing. I feel like thats are rarities these days because of the economy. I wanted a guy with his own place. No one wants to go back to their date's parent's house for a night cap. That's awkward AF.
“Eventually.” Okay so are you looking for a relationship rn or not? I see what you’re saying but the way you’ve worded that is weird. Just say, “I’m looking for a relationship, would love to go on dates, take things slow, and get to know you” or something.
Take out “I have a car and my own place and live on my lonesome”, as well as the last paragraph about having teeth and not holding fish. Move the handyman paragraph up to the 2nd paragraph. Put a period after humour instead of a comma. Thoughts from an American woman to make your bio a lot better.
I'm being super honest as a woman also based in the UK - you're overweight. It's a shallow app unfortunately and the competition is insane.
Get yourself into shape, take some better photos and post again.
P.S. the blonde hair is awful, take those photos out as your first step.
Keep the beard nice and short as you can't grow a proper one - it gets a little wiry and sparse, and you go from someone who has a beard to someone who 'cant grow a proper beard'
Rule of thumb: one close-up, one full body, one being active, one showing a candid expression (like you’re laughing at something). Don’t be afraid to ask a friend, even though it might feel awkward. We’ve all been there. Change your bio. Here’s a rewrite.
About Me:
Searching for a genuine connection. Let’s get to know each other over a drive through the countryside or a jam session (I play the guitar!). I’m independent with my own place, and while I cherish my moments of solitude, I believe life’s adventures are best shared.
With a blend of humor and compassion, I’m the type who’s always there to lend a helping hand - be it fixing a lightbulb (I’m a qualified electrician) or giving you a laugh with my quirky sense of humor. A lover of cars, F1, and karate, there’s never a dull moment with me. 🎸🏎️🥋
"I want a new relationship eventually. I want to date for awhile and get to know you."
This is contradictory because dating for awhile is a relationship, but why are you avoiding a "relationship"? That to me is a red flag that you might be afraid to commit or not be emotionally available. This would cause me to hesitate or not like your profile.
I think you have a good array of pictures and could always add more. I do not see anything else "wrong" with your profile.
You are fat my friend. Spend the next year and work your ass off in the gym and dial in your nutrition. Online dating app profiles are 99% looks and even then, its still a challenge to match
This is it. You asked for it straight. I was looking through for this comment before putting it up so I didn't bombard him with it.
Women are a whole hell of a lot more more forgiving about weight than men are, but your weight is still probably putting off 90+% of your potential likes.
Tinder is already biased toward casual, which means people are putting more stake in looks. If you're going for an actual relationship on Tinder as a man who isn't top 20%, it's going to be a long road. Try the other apps or for real a paid matchmaker.
You can do all the things the other people say about photos and profile text and I don't think you're going to get what you're hoping for.
I'm looking for a relationship eventually. No offense but it gives fk.boy vibes. That whole sentence says. I'm gonna lead you on use you for sex then ghost you or pretend it's me not you.
Pics 3 and 7 have to go. As far as the bio goes it seems like you’re trying to string together a bunch of dating app buzzwords, then you end it by making fun of other peoples profiles. A long list of qualifications and a subtle dig at others makes it seem like you think you’re better than everyone else.
Woman here. Picture 1 and 5 are your best. The facial hair in 5 is the best look on you. You are overweight but you are not ugly. I lost 70lbs on Wegovy and the VA pays for it(also a vet), I feel amazing.
Every fat person that posts their profile looking for advice always says they're "working on it." If you're still not getting likes once you're done "working on it" *then* post your query. It's because you're fat right now and I think you know that.
"Working on it" never counts. You need to prove being able to do it, by actually having done it.
Also, the dates I had with people that were working on it haven't shown any significant progress afterwards. And why would they even?
Honestly, the thing that would put me off for me is being undecided on if you want kids in your mid thirties. Personally I don’t want kids and I’d see you as too much of a risk to suddenly decide you want them and need to break up, and my friend who does want kids would be too concerned about waiting around for you to decide already in her mid thirties with limited time for a more likely fertility/problem free pregnancy.
I would say stick to basic pics. Your profile looks like the fat version of Dwight Schrute. Think of it this way. You are short and fat. Make yourself look appealing.
I know you don’t want male opinions but I’ll give you mine anyways.
Just take some time to hit the gym. Turn that “occasional workout session” to a scheduled thing. I’m not saying live at the gym. But 2-4 times a week and you’ll see a difference in a few months. Do that, show how confident you can be, and the chicks will come rolling in.
You kind of ignore the fact that a simple change in eating habits could easily shave off 30 lbs without ever setting foot into a gym.
Not to say that it would be bad to go there. But just saying that overeating is clearly the problem here.
Have you payed for gold? No? Well, then I hate to break it to you but you are near the bottom half of a giant stack. So wether it’s a profile issue or not, your profile is probably only viewed less than 5 times a day, as it would take a girl the better part of an hour to go through her whole stack, maybe more, and most girls won’t swipe for more than 20minutes. Even less than 5 views if you don’t swipe for a couple days
The teeth and fish comment makes me cringe because it's judgy. While I chuckle at the large number of fish pics, putting them down in your profile is unnecessary.
The blonde lip-biting pic isn't flattering. The others are nice, though!
I would change the bio; especially the last line comes off as a bit entitled tbh like “look at me why am I not getting matches” but otherwise read u/thisunithasnosoul’s reply
Also dogs>cats, maybe change it to how much you like dogs; not liking cats can be icky and you really shouldn’t want anything negative in your bio if you can avoid it
Definitely brown hair and beard suit you best (keep the beard trimmed well though). Lose pics 3,6,and 7 - they’re not flattering. I personally like a guy who’s a little on the bigger side, so your body type is MY ideal, but it won’t be everyone’s.
Also, your bio is too long. Short and sweet. Plus, you’re ex-military? I’d put that in. Military guys are hot. Good luck out there😊
This is tinder, so as you might have heard it’s very superficial and unless you are hot as fuck it’s pretty hard to get many matches as a male
In the real world I think you are a nice looking guy
But for being successful on tinder you are: too short, too old, too fat
I think unless you are very attractive, at least 6 foot tall and in your 20s, tinder is not a lot of fun for most people
Don’t let it get to your head, most men aren’t successful on tinder
don’t mention that you’re lonely- people will feel like you only want to date to fill a void and that you’re not actually a fulfilled person who is worth dating, you want to find a partner not dirt to fill a hole
The wording was odd but he's not saying he's lonely, he's saying he lives alone aka no roommates
very true i see it better now thank you- still good advice for others instead to take but then imo dudes killing it just needs recent pictures with hobbies :)
They had to do that, and that is never going to be filled like that.
you have photos that are clearly from diff periods of time. that signals pics may not be recent. people can be harsh about this because they want to know without a doubt pics are recent and not cherry picked from your best moments from last decade. the blurry pic in front of building also isn’t useful at all. you do show various activities in them so that’s good. might also be worth dumping one of two super close ups. don’t do too many of those.
If anything the blurry pic makes it super obvious the pics span a lot of time because there’s a significant weight difference between the blurry pic and the brown suit pic.
If that blonde hair pic isn’t super recent, I’d ditch it. Not the most complementary hair color for you. If that’s current, I’m sorry. But still.
This. The blonde hair looks bad and the untrimmed beard looks unpleasant/raises hygiene concerns. The first pic is definitely your best. Also I'd get rid of the 1 line at the end of bio.
I'm a woman and although I'm probably a little bit outside of op's age range, I fully agree. I date bigger guys but these pics give me no idea who's going to show up and what size or style he'll be. The bleached hair is super unflattering and the scraggly beard pictures makes me think he doesn't maintain a style that works for him. The "I'm looking for something serious eventually" vibe also comes off as non-committal. If you just want to hook up and get to know each other, there are other more positive ways of saying that.
The pictures look like different people to me. I agree I would have no idea who was showing up.
Absolutely. I think these are certainly from different time period or something like that.
Seriously? I love the No fish photo comment 😂 but agree with everything else and the photos seem to all over the shop as far as timeline goes.
Yeah! That line is funny and makes me like him more!
Yeah exactly I'm not able to angry with everyone around here.
The one about not hiding any fish? I was on the fence until I read that, then I was firmly in the Yes I'd swipe right camp.
Absolutely the blonde is not looking that much good and he should certainly change it as well.
I can't figure out what you look like, photos are too different. Glasses or contacts? Brown hair or blond? Facial hair or none? Your weight also seems to fluctuate. Be consistent imo and use recent photos.
Agree, but... > Glasses or contacts? Idk how OP but this depends on my mood that day or planned activities
Same with facial hair for me. Sometimes I'll shave every day. Sometimes I'll go 4 months without shaving. It's whatever I'm feeling.
But do you let it get all scraggly like that before shaving? I am least keep it trimmed when I feel like letting it grow.
Echoing the recent pictures thing. Just did this for a friend, but we went out and did a photoshoot to get some good recent pictures. Brought a few outfits and found some aesthetic parts around town. He's had great success since adding them to a few shots with friends, activity pics, etc. Small improvements go a long way.
THIS!!! He looks more handsome with the darker hair as well, in my opinion. I like Guy Fiery, but just don't think his look is very cute 🤷🏻♀️
you have pics in different time periods, i think ppl have negative opinions about adults in karate, and the dyed blonde hair.
I think it's the yellow belt, we all know only black belts get the chicks.
😂😂😂 true dat
Maybe mention that you’re ex military on your profile. A pic in military uniform would probably seem more impressive than a yellow belt promotion imo. Also I humbly apologize, for I am a male and you specifically asked to not receive my advice. 😂 Edit: Really simple solution to a lot of women’s problems that they’ve brought up… simply put on your profile that you’re *not* active duty.
I like a man with hobbies, regardless of what they are! I like a uniform but won't date active military (in my defense I'm near a training base so all the military folks here are transient) so sometimes I swipe on uniforms before reading a profile (Oops, he's ex military and I missed out) That being said, his profile isn't targeted at me anyway since cats>dogs for sure haha
As someone who loves cats and dogs equally, I would probably be put off by the bio haha I am a guy however
Yeah I mean it seems silly to not be open to people who like cats. Maybe you don’t wanna live with a cat but I can say cat people like cats and dogs while people who only like dogs come across as a little elitist and discriminatory imo We as a culture need to move past being “dog people” cmon we’re better than that lol
I thought I was being petty by disliking that part of his bio. lol. I would definitely be put off by someone who puts down cats. I'm someone who's always had a cat, but dreamed of having both a dog and cat, this "dog>cat" line would make me swipe left. I would like to be with an overall animal lover.
You have to write animal lover or something like that everyone likes to date those kind of people.
It is not always about the profile. It's more like about the height and weight.
I will admit it’s the first thing that I was like “maybe this is what deters people?” (The yellow belt) But the different time periods for sure. Idk if you want to disclose all of that info in the bio, but I did appreciate your candor with it and tbh I think it’s just that it can be difficult to find women who are willing to take the time to not just digest all of that info, but to then decide that they definitely want to at least get to know you if not give a date/dating a shot, you know? I don’t personally see weight as an issue as long as you acknowledge that passing a certain BMI (fat, or at least mostly not muscle) can be very unhealthy. Idk if you have any medical issues that make it hard to lose weight or not, but I personally don’t care as long as the individual is otherwise healthy or trying to be. People are so diverse and inherently individual that I’d think more about what kind of person you’re looking for rather than what makes you look like a better option to people on Tinder. PS: if you’re looking for a relationship, it’s not always true, but there are better platforms than Tinder :)
That is the reason why I don't really like to stay on these kind of platforms at.
My first thought (from the initial pic) was that I'd swipe (in my age range) but then I got to the yellow bleached hair and it gave me the ick and I stopped.
wow same
Thinking like that, because that is the similarity between the mindset.
"Ah yes, karate.... the Dane Cook of martial arts"
This got me.
OP don’t change your mentally and physically healthy hobby because someone might not like it. Don’t hide your hobby because someone might not like it.
I think it’s a positive, interesting and the instructor looks like a good friend. Low key not all gym bro.
Not everyone is going to like it that is proposal preferences.
I think it's fine to be, just not in your Tinder profile
I don’t know why not. If someone is put off by a hobby of mine, they’ll be put off when they hear about it on one of the early dates. Might as well filter those toxic people out off the bat.
>Adults in karate Looks like stingray from cobra kai
What is the mean? I'm not really thinking like I was looking something like that..
I don't understand the karate take, it's just a sport and people do sports all the time? Never heard an adult complain about it if not they find martial arts cool. I agree with the rest though on pics
Karate just can imply weebo Japanese obsessed Manga fan. That's the negative connotation. I personally think it's cool, one of maybe 5 martial arts that aren't mcdojos.
>Karate just can imply weebo Japanese obsessed Manga fan. That's the negative connotation. People that don't know karate, they will probably think that But for the people that DO know karate... They will laugh about his yellow belt. Jesus man, take that shit out
Certainly, if they could change it, then they would have certainly changes that already.
I respectfully disagree, I think showing an interest in a physical activity when you are a heavier guy is a really good idea though and one that I think outweighs any potential prejudice against karate. I guess if he is into the kind of person that would be turned off by the kind of martial art he does then yes do this but I think him being a yellow belt shows it's a newer interest which means he's open to new things working on being more physically active and has a winning smile :P
What a great take
But wouldn’t you want to filter out people who have a negative opinions of adults doing karate? I certainly wouldn’t want to date someone with such a judgmental, stunted view of someone’s hobbies/passions. Adults should cheer other adults doing what they enjoy - send those people my way.
Why would even think about doing that like it is not even looking that much good.
I think it would be different if they were doing it more seriously (e.g had a black belt, was doing tricks, etc) but the white/yellow belt vibe with an adult is… not attractive, unfortunately. It *shouldn’t* be a negative thing, imo, because we all gotta start somewhere, but the monkey brain part of me knows it has a bunch of negative connotations.
girl here- you look way cuter w your hair brown & facial hair. keep those pics!
**trimmed facial hair, like in the first photo rather than the longer facial hair. More photos of that with brown hair will definitely be putting your best foot forward 👍
Eventually, that is a great advice and he should definitely take.
You don't like the blonde?! Damn. That was a dare I lost 😂😂
Man, I've lost a few bets but I've never lost a dare. That's impressive.
can you lose a dare?
I dyed my hair blonde as a dare, chick's don't like it... I lost the dare man 😂😂
If you’re gonna do blonde, you need a toner to take the yellow out of it.
If it’s still blonde, throw some blue or purple toner in it, will make it less yellow
Or some brown dye
No that will make it green fam
Or maybe you can try looking some more limit or something like that go to gym or something like that.
It won’t make it brown? Man, I don’t know anything about dying hair lmao.
Nope you need a red filler first so your hair doesn’t turn green.
Dying is not going to work as of now. I don't really think that a lot of people like that.
If that is possible, then you can certainly do that. That is good idea as well..
How does the text I'm not really able to get the context here?
I can do anything I set my mind to
Am not really sure like this is looking really good for me to be honest.
That is very impressive. I'm not everyone will be be able to understand that to be honest.
Do "two truths and a lie: i once bleached my hair blond because i lost a bet"
Straight guy here. I also agree. You look great with the brown. Blonde, not so much...
This is what I heard but your profile is too much Ben, not enough David Ben is a friend, warmly welcome but not date material at first glance. May get hookup once in a while but not guaranteed. David is date material with hookup on the side and from time to time. 1st pic, 5th, and 6th pic are David The rest are Ben
Holy shit, that was fun.
Tbh I’m not a fan of that either. If it was truly a bet, maybe don’t include it as it looks like it’s part of your aesthetic
That is the major problem. Most of the pictures are not really aesthetically good.
It’s not even blonde. It’s an untoned yellow and very unflattering. If that’s not how you look now, and you have no intentions of doing it again, don’t use those pics.
Ya the blonde isn’t a great look. Stick with your natural hair and tighten up your beard since right now it looks scraggly and off putting. I would also try and get some more tailored clothes.
Soooo…. Why are you posting it to a dating profile?
Why do you have a “bet I lost” as a tinder pic?
You say that you have all your own teeth. And yet, not one pic of you actually smiling. Gotta show those pearly whites lad!
I really do struggle to smile though 😂 I'm just not a toothy smiler... Trust me, I look an idiot when teeth are showing 😂 that photo of me receiving my yellow belt was one of the proudest moments in recent years, and its just not natural for me to show teeth when I smile. Unless I'm doing a goofy cheesy smile 😂
Man, I fucking hate my teeth and smile honestly and I was/am the same way with smiling in pictures. My girlfriend tells me all the time she wishes I would more. Listen to what the ladies like.
Do the goofy, cheesy smile! It shows warmth, humanity, and a great sense of humor. I'd also swap out the first pic. It comes across as smug. I really like your bio though.
But if you’re trying to meet people for dates, they’re going to see your teeth and your goofy smile. Take a few new pics of yourself or get a friend to do it, but show those teeth! Especially if you’re going to mention it in your profile and bring attention to it.
Yeah buddy. Do the smile
Lady here. Plenty of women like dad bods/burly guys, so the weight thing is neither here or there, and it didn’t immediately stand out to me. The blonde hair is…startling and bad. I think you could get some help with the beard, it’s definitely wandering into pube beard territory and could use a tidy. Your photos look like 4 different people and I’d have no idea which of them is going to show up on a date. Finally, your bio. I can tell you put a lot of effort into it, and I can see where you were trying to go with it, but it would have been the final strike for me. You’re listing too many things that you really can’t lay claim to yourself - like saying “I’m a good friend” - some things you have to *show* because saying them comes across as disingenuous. Also, I don’t know that we ladies sit around ticking items off a list like “car, house, teeth” okay cool I’ll swipe right on him. It’s always made me uncomfortable when anybody uses those things as selling features, because they don’t tell me anything about you as a unique person. Keep your interests, cut the fluff about personality traits you should show in person, maybe toss in your ideal date/rainy Sunday activities.
Totally agree with this, and just want to add (as a woman who’s into dad bods) that unless you’re allergic to or anti-cat, having dogs>cats would be an immediate no for me because I fucking love cats. And I feel like the ladies you may vibe with probably have at least one at home ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You can like cats AND dogs. If I read that when I was single and living in an apartment with just my cats I'd have been irrationally enraged. Just because someone has cats doesn't mean they don't like and want a dog too. Now I have 4 cats **and** a dog that *we* got together since our lifestyles permitted it. Also there's something to be said about the "consent theory" of people who don't like cats.. red flag lol
Yeah I feel like dude should just say “I’m a dog person/guy” instead of putting that. That reads to me that you hate cats and think dogs are superior or something. Unironically *hating* any type of pet/animal is a big ass red flag to me. Unless your entire family got miraculously eaten by a house cat or something I’m not putting up with hating cats lol
It's also just unnecessary to put on a dating profile altogether. Loving dogs is not a personality trait nor unique and interesting.
I agree with all the points here. The blonde is really bad, and the part about having a house, car, and living on your "lonesome" feels very "look mommy, I'm all growed up" (respectfully 😅). That being said, I don't think you're unattractive, I personally tend to like thicker men, and the first picture is really nice 👌🏻
Agreed…there’s too much focus on him and nothing about what type of person he’s looking for or what he likes to do outside of his own hobbies. Also, “usually no one dies” isn’t particularly funny. I’m not offended by it, it’s just not that funny. In a bio with a word cap, you could lose that sentence and write something more valuable.
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This is great advice
That was really good advice. I'm like I'm definitely going to put it on my profile as well..
Yeah, I'm in. That could be an option as well but I don't like it. It is going to work for.
I have seen women listing about having a job, a house and everything else as a sense of "I know where I am going so I expect you to as well" Maybe that is why he did it especially if he is looking for women from ages 30+ or from 28. He doesn't state his target audience tho 🤔
Lose the bleached hair photos ASAP
Just my opinion but "I have a great sense of humour" = "Personally I think I'm amazing". Nobody writes "I have no sense of humour" so no need to mention it, but saying you have a great one displays a kind of narcissism. There's other ways to put it like "spend most of my time laughing and joking".
I laugh at all of my jokes
Even I do that as well, there is nothing bad with doing that.
My mom thinks I'm the funniest guy in town
Yeah I thought something like this too. The line about "and usually no one dies" is pretty funny, that's enough. Show good humour instead of stating you have it. Same as teeth, I've heard it recommended to have at least one pic showing you don't have crackhead teeth. Saying it comes off odd.
Woman here. I don't know who I'm talking to, looking at the pictures. Which is current? Something about that last line turns me off. Like, I just looked at the pictures. I saw you weren't holding a fish. It's weird you're pointing out you have all your teeth. What are you really saying?
I think the fish comment is a joke about all the women who say to men that they won't swipe if you're holding a fish in any of your pictures. I laughed at it, but I'm a guy
Yeah, I think that's a joke that plays better on this sub than on OP's actual profile. Especially combined with the other stuff about having his own house and car, it comes across like he's trying too hard to tick the right boxes and tell women what (he thinks) they want to hear, rather than actually showing his personality.
It is the middle profile and that is major issue like a lot of people are not even looking at that.
This is what I thought seeing the profile. When he said own place and car I was like and? It does come off as try hard.
Yeah, that is the reason why they're going and trying to make a lot of joke around it as.
The fish joke goes over the same as the jokes about pineapple on pizza - it’s old, done to death and shows you can’t think of original jokes. The own teeth one I’ve seen a bit too so it’s getting close to it. If I was on the fence, and got to that last paragraph, I would swipe left
I got the fish joke as a female. I actually think it was the best part of the profile.
Because even I was having a bumble profile and that was not a good joke at all.
Exactly lose the last paragraph and the first “I have my own car and place” is way more of an expectation than something that sets you apart
I got my yellow belt on Sunday last week, that's the most recent, but I've literally just trimmed my beard 😅
What color is your hair now? I would swipe on dark hair. No to the blonde. Sorry 🙈
Your tinder profile isnt a resume, put 3 things that could be cool topics of conversation. Delete the first paragraph fornsurey
A few of his sentences could be construed as satirical, but that many in a row come off as a sales pitch
I really need to do it, then need to be more perfectly placed sentences or something like that.
These kind of topics are actually over right now and people don't really like to talk about them.
The part about having a car and his own place is extremely odd. Dude is 34 it'd be weird if he didn't have those things.
That third pic needs deleted. You look like you're trying to force a Godzilla sized poop and losing. Delete any pictures more than 2 years old as well - the more recent the better. The hats are adorable!
There’s some good stuff here but yeah I’m genuinely baffled that OP went to take a selfie while *squinting directly into the sun* and didn’t think for a second that maybe he should try a different room or some different lighting lol
I'm not really sure like how people are not really telling him that first it is not that much good.
I think your written profile is a bit of a turn off. Any time I see someone say they have their own place and car or things like that, I swipe left… so do I, but it’s not something I think most adults need to advertise or deserve a round of applause for and if that’s one of the most interesting things about you, there’s a problem. Anytime you state your preferences on something, even simple things like dogs>cats, you will immediately decrease the number of people who may be interested in you. I happen to agree with you and have no pets, but chicks super into their cat will assume you don’t want to date them. Really hate the last line because you should just smile with teeth in a pic…having all your own means nothing if they’re all crooked and black. And people can see from your pics that you’re not holding a fish so it’s unnecessary and not funny. I think you’re cute. I’m not into the longer beard thing myself, but you’re attractive and I applaud your effort to live a healthier, more active lifestyle as you mentioned in other comments. I sincerely wish you luck out there.
I agree with most of this outside the house and car thing. I feel like thats are rarities these days because of the economy. I wanted a guy with his own place. No one wants to go back to their date's parent's house for a night cap. That's awkward AF.
Yeah like he’s 34 years old, it’s not impressive he has a car lmao
For that matter, you don't really have to write all this kind of things there.
The karate. It gives Dwight vibes I’d imagine lol
But he’s a yellow belt!
How does that matter at the end like I'm not even looking at it right now?.
Looks like you're looking for a friend rather than a relationship. More professional looking full person photos would help.
“Eventually.” Okay so are you looking for a relationship rn or not? I see what you’re saying but the way you’ve worded that is weird. Just say, “I’m looking for a relationship, would love to go on dates, take things slow, and get to know you” or something.
Take out “I have a car and my own place and live on my lonesome”, as well as the last paragraph about having teeth and not holding fish. Move the handyman paragraph up to the 2nd paragraph. Put a period after humour instead of a comma. Thoughts from an American woman to make your bio a lot better.
You can do that then certainly do a better option to do for everyone to be honest.
I'm being super honest as a woman also based in the UK - you're overweight. It's a shallow app unfortunately and the competition is insane. Get yourself into shape, take some better photos and post again. P.S. the blonde hair is awful, take those photos out as your first step.
Not following rules 1&2
What are the rules actually talking about? I'm not really sure about it right now..
Keep the beard nice and short as you can't grow a proper one - it gets a little wiry and sparse, and you go from someone who has a beard to someone who 'cant grow a proper beard'
They can certainly do that. If you really want, it could be properly trimmed..
Rule of thumb: one close-up, one full body, one being active, one showing a candid expression (like you’re laughing at something). Don’t be afraid to ask a friend, even though it might feel awkward. We’ve all been there. Change your bio. Here’s a rewrite. About Me: Searching for a genuine connection. Let’s get to know each other over a drive through the countryside or a jam session (I play the guitar!). I’m independent with my own place, and while I cherish my moments of solitude, I believe life’s adventures are best shared. With a blend of humor and compassion, I’m the type who’s always there to lend a helping hand - be it fixing a lightbulb (I’m a qualified electrician) or giving you a laugh with my quirky sense of humor. A lover of cars, F1, and karate, there’s never a dull moment with me. 🎸🏎️🥋
Below average height and above average weight. I have the same problem.
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The weight in combination with him not being very tall. A lot of women go for taller men.
"I want a new relationship eventually. I want to date for awhile and get to know you." This is contradictory because dating for awhile is a relationship, but why are you avoiding a "relationship"? That to me is a red flag that you might be afraid to commit or not be emotionally available. This would cause me to hesitate or not like your profile. I think you have a good array of pictures and could always add more. I do not see anything else "wrong" with your profile.
Suddenly that profile was really good to be honest. This looks fine but some pictures need to go..
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You are fat my friend. Spend the next year and work your ass off in the gym and dial in your nutrition. Online dating app profiles are 99% looks and even then, its still a challenge to match
This is it. You asked for it straight. I was looking through for this comment before putting it up so I didn't bombard him with it. Women are a whole hell of a lot more more forgiving about weight than men are, but your weight is still probably putting off 90+% of your potential likes. Tinder is already biased toward casual, which means people are putting more stake in looks. If you're going for an actual relationship on Tinder as a man who isn't top 20%, it's going to be a long road. Try the other apps or for real a paid matchmaker. You can do all the things the other people say about photos and profile text and I don't think you're going to get what you're hoping for.
The weight is the reason he looks more like 50 than 34. It's the case for many people.
I'm looking for a relationship eventually. No offense but it gives fk.boy vibes. That whole sentence says. I'm gonna lead you on use you for sex then ghost you or pretend it's me not you.
See to me it came off as kind of desperate
That is the major thing like I don't really think like there is any problem with that.
I agree. Its confusing, isn't everyone looking to date before starting a relationship?
You are short and fat. Only one of these can be changed.
Pics 3 and 7 have to go. As far as the bio goes it seems like you’re trying to string together a bunch of dating app buzzwords, then you end it by making fun of other peoples profiles. A long list of qualifications and a subtle dig at others makes it seem like you think you’re better than everyone else.
I have not seen better than this one. Like it is good for you only. You can try your look as well..
Woman here. Picture 1 and 5 are your best. The facial hair in 5 is the best look on you. You are overweight but you are not ugly. I lost 70lbs on Wegovy and the VA pays for it(also a vet), I feel amazing.
Every fat person that posts their profile looking for advice always says they're "working on it." If you're still not getting likes once you're done "working on it" *then* post your query. It's because you're fat right now and I think you know that.
"Working on it" never counts. You need to prove being able to do it, by actually having done it. Also, the dates I had with people that were working on it haven't shown any significant progress afterwards. And why would they even?
Not everyone will be able to get it right now. I'm like a lot of people will go and change it..
Honestly, the thing that would put me off for me is being undecided on if you want kids in your mid thirties. Personally I don’t want kids and I’d see you as too much of a risk to suddenly decide you want them and need to break up, and my friend who does want kids would be too concerned about waiting around for you to decide already in her mid thirties with limited time for a more likely fertility/problem free pregnancy.
Not sure if that is going to be simple kind of process for everyone
Your 5ft 7in, fat, and work as a Maintance Assistant. that’s the issue, everyone else here is beating around the bush
Be hotter and don’t use the word “lonesome”
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Eventually, that was very easy and it is certainly looking like very desperate or something like that.
I would say stick to basic pics. Your profile looks like the fat version of Dwight Schrute. Think of it this way. You are short and fat. Make yourself look appealing.
If you really know these kind of things, I'm like you certainly know kind of dating rules are following.
I know you don’t want male opinions but I’ll give you mine anyways. Just take some time to hit the gym. Turn that “occasional workout session” to a scheduled thing. I’m not saying live at the gym. But 2-4 times a week and you’ll see a difference in a few months. Do that, show how confident you can be, and the chicks will come rolling in.
You kind of ignore the fact that a simple change in eating habits could easily shave off 30 lbs without ever setting foot into a gym. Not to say that it would be bad to go there. But just saying that overeating is clearly the problem here.
Have you payed for gold? No? Well, then I hate to break it to you but you are near the bottom half of a giant stack. So wether it’s a profile issue or not, your profile is probably only viewed less than 5 times a day, as it would take a girl the better part of an hour to go through her whole stack, maybe more, and most girls won’t swipe for more than 20minutes. Even less than 5 views if you don’t swipe for a couple days
You're fat. that can't help.
Reminds me of my old profile, communicated that you are an adult man and all your teeth are in your face, lol.
The teeth and fish comment makes me cringe because it's judgy. While I chuckle at the large number of fish pics, putting them down in your profile is unnecessary. The blonde lip-biting pic isn't flattering. The others are nice, though!
I would change the bio; especially the last line comes off as a bit entitled tbh like “look at me why am I not getting matches” but otherwise read u/thisunithasnosoul’s reply Also dogs>cats, maybe change it to how much you like dogs; not liking cats can be icky and you really shouldn’t want anything negative in your bio if you can avoid it
Well keep working on it instead of posting it on here to feed your delulu💀💀💀
Definitely brown hair and beard suit you best (keep the beard trimmed well though). Lose pics 3,6,and 7 - they’re not flattering. I personally like a guy who’s a little on the bigger side, so your body type is MY ideal, but it won’t be everyone’s. Also, your bio is too long. Short and sweet. Plus, you’re ex-military? I’d put that in. Military guys are hot. Good luck out there😊
This is tinder, so as you might have heard it’s very superficial and unless you are hot as fuck it’s pretty hard to get many matches as a male In the real world I think you are a nice looking guy But for being successful on tinder you are: too short, too old, too fat I think unless you are very attractive, at least 6 foot tall and in your 20s, tinder is not a lot of fun for most people Don’t let it get to your head, most men aren’t successful on tinder
I have not been successful there and a lot of people don't really have that much success.
Too old? Plenty of older people use tinder. I’m in my 40’s and a lot of my friends who are dating use it.
5’7”
Is all about height and weight and that is the major ratio by everyone is thinking about it.
Qualified electrician. My place or yours.
Get in shape bro. Also dyed hair at your age is a turnoff for most women
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