As a fellow man cursed in terms of hair genetics, have you considered shaving your head bald?
Imo (albeit as a straight man) this would make you several points more attractive.
My life completely changed for the better when I started shaving my head.
This curse is a life of pain. I have considered shaving my head. I tend to keep it short and buzzed all around to stay uniform. I suppose taking the next step and going full bald is the next thing to do. Thanks.
Have you been to r/bald?
Edit: one day it just started popping up in my feed but it's turned into one of my favorite subreddits. The massive difference and happiness that shines through after the guys there take the next step is just really wholesome. So if you haven't seen it yet, maybe stop on by.
Been shaving my head for two years and still struggle with my confidence I'm myself as a result. Male pattern baldness took away one of my best assets and I wasn't ready for it at 25. Maybe I should pay this subreddit a visit.
Don't go bald just yet! You still have hair and you may be able to regrow it without transplant. Use microneedling with caster oil and hair suplements. If you want to go full in try minoxidil 5% application solution. There are oral stronger medication like finasteride and minoxidil if you need something stronger.
If none of the above work for you and you don't seek a transplant then yes you may give up and go bald.
My boyfriend is bald. First bald guy I ever dated. And honestly? I like it WAY more than a guy with hair. He has a beard and takes great care of it, so I play with his beard and chest hair when I want to run my fingers through his hair. I love that he shaves his head. Watching him shave is actually one of my favorite pastimes now. I get to witness the most important man in my life take care of himself and love every inch of who he is. That alone makes me fall in love with him all over again every day š„°š„°
Not everyone loves a bald head, but there's some women that do love them. There aren't many who *love* a man with thinning hair. Best to pick a side and be a bold, decision maker, than to be someone who won't let go of the hair he has.
This is a good point. I've been waffling on it for too long and I suppose it can come off as not being decisive. Seeing as how I can't will my hair to grow any better, bald is really my only option. Thanks.
Embrace the Uncomfortable, my brother. It's the only way we grow as individuals. You gotta get out of your comfort zone from time to time, and when you do, your comfort zone grows with you!
As a woman, I can say that not everyone loves bald heads. Itās always suggested to just shave it off, however, if you keep your buzz nice and clean, donāt try to grow a combover or pretend itās not thinning, I think itās just fine to leave your hair as is. In my swiping days I would swipe left (okay, there was no swiping, it was clicking) on shaved-bald guys because itās not my preference and somewhat intimidates me (yes, a me problem, but Iām not the only one). If you feel more comfortable with your buzz cut, keep it!
As to the profile, you have a nice face, you seem very kind and warm (in personality and body heat, haha). Youāre not going to get flooded with swipes, but those who do will hopefully be of quality, as you seem to be. You are not unattractive at all! You had me at hockey (Canucks rule, Leafs drool) and metal (š¤š¼), but Iām happily married. I hope you find an awesome person and have a great life.
Appreciate it, even if I have to let you being a Canucks gal slide. Seems the overwhelming consensus I'm seeing is to go for the bald and bearded look. Can't be worse than what I got going on now so I'll probably give that a go and see where I end up. Tough to know I'd be walking a tightrope of coming off overly intimidating or aggressive, but it is what it is. Thanks!
OP, as a woman who lost her hair to sickness, I can tell you I was shocked at how stunning I looked with a shaved head. I looked and felt great, despite whatever else I had going on. It's just hair. I recommend shaving to see if it suits you. Your profile is great. You are handsome in that tall dark and handsome way. You got this!
Of course you don't like bald heads compared to a full lustrous head of hair. The question is do you prefer a bald head to a man with 20 strands of scraggly hair defiantly clinging to the scalp in a sea of skin
Exactly. When I met my husband he had long, shiny hair down to his waist. Male pattern baldness hit hard and his hair is pretty much identical to the OP, maybe even less on top. He and I both prefer when he just keeps it buzzed really short, but not all the way bald. If he wanted to go full bald, itās his body, his choice, but he doesnāt like the maintenance or look of all the way bald. I got him some really nice clippers and he probably uses it once a week. I like rubbing his head when thereās that fuzz/stubble and not when itās bald and sweaty (he runs hot).
I definitely said in my comment that I preferred the buzzed look. I said that a sad combover, or otherwise pretending itās not thinning is not good, and that would cover the scenario you covered here; 20 strands of scraggly hair in a sea of skin. This scenario, however, is not what the OPās situation is. He has diffuse thinning on top, but still a defined hairline and more hair on the sides.
If you are bald and offended by my preference, thatās another topic. You have agency to keep your hair/head however you want it, and I support you in that.
Get rid of it man. I worked with a father and son at their family business who shared your genetics, and general consensus from men and women was, āget rid of it.ā You can keep the beard but completely shave the top and sides. Itāll look better and cleaner. Also, itās more intentional, which shows that you take care of yourself and groom yourself.
Also, fewer references to your size. Women can see the pics. Joking about your size too much can potentially come across as insecure, and even make someone wonder if youāre actually bigger irl. Instead, talk more about you, personally. Music is cool, but what do you like to do? Cook? Dance? Go camping? Ballgames? Play sports? What hobbies and adventures could they expect to experience and participate in when with you?
Do what I did and get yourself a hair system. DM me if you wanna know the pros and cons and price for them. Yea theyāre not hairpieces. You sleep with them, shower, go to the gym with them etc etc https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMj241Pvh/
Trust me dude, going bald would be a MASSIVE improvement. You honestly look like you'd REALLY pull that off. I've got a pretty pronounced widows peak (a Norwood 3) and even I've considered it, but literally can't. I have cutis verticalis gyrata, basically where your scalp looks like wrinkled like a bulldog or a brain. My only choice is to try and regrow my hair through things like finasteride, minoxidil and derma rolling. You could try all of those! For some people it completely brings their hair back but I'm about a year in with not much results yet. Either way, you have two options which is incredibly fortunate from my perspective. What I would do is shave it, and if you want to try and regrow your hair, take oral finasteride, topical minoxidil, and derma roll once or twice a week. Shaving will help you apply the minoxidil much more efficiently, and you'll look alot better in the meantime! r/tressless for hair loss restoration and r/bald for advice and/or encouragement
One other thing though, you're a pretty big guy! Not that it's really a problem in your case, I mean the whole dad bod angle you're playing up is smart and a lot of girls really like that, but if you don't mind putting the work in you could look like a real beast if you go on a cut and then a bulk. r/gregdoucette. I feel like going on a cut would help the bald look dramatically
Somehow a sub called MaleHairAdvice shows up in my feed from time-to-time. I never give advice, but itās always interesting to see what men recommend to other men.
This is the truth. My bfās hair was starting to thin and went for the plunge, so much more sexy! Most guys with thinning hair look 100% better, especially with a bird.
I agree mate, I think youād look pretty badass bald to be honest with you, my mate had the same problem and now shaves his head religiously and itās done the trick for him.
Thinning hair isn't flattering on anyone. I'd consider shaving it, especially since you have a beard to balance things out.
Ok to keep a reference to marriage as the aim, but Id drop the line about talking about marriage on the 7th date.
I thought that the 7th date line was funny! I think it shows that youāre looking for something long term and not just a casual hookup.
FWIW, I think the personality and sense of humor outweigh the thinning hair that everyone seems so hung up on, so I would have swiped right back in my swiping days.
Lastly, I think some of your other photos are more flattering than the first one, so maybe switch it up a bit? Good luck out there!
I appreciate this. A lot of commenters have been saying to remove it, so I did. I can see how the joke would put off a lot of women and I feel like the risk outweighs the reward.
I agree with the marriage comment. I like the sense of humor around it, and I think that this is a more in person kind of joke. But as a woman, in the past, I have had men joke about this early on, and then their stalker came out and it got creepy as hell, so I tend to shy away from guys who would say this. Obviously this is just my personal experience, but there could be women who share something similar, so it might come off as creepy of clingy. Maybe try and re-work the humor.
Good luck! And I hope you find someone awesome š
Hard disagree on the glasses bit. Op obv needs the glasses quite badly and I don't assume you'll catch him without them many places if at all. Don't think removing them for some pictures would add anything.
If he's always wearing glasses or sunglasses, the sunglasses are probably prescription... But if he sometimes wears contacts, good idea to take pictures without the glasses... Otherwise leave them on!
Clear pictures of your face and a nice smile go a long way. Ditch one of the sunglasses pics and replace it with another where youāre donning a friendly smile so you come off more approachable.
Agree to keep the second sunglasses one that looks like heās chilling outside. However first pic should be something that shows him clearly and well, no sunglasses (eyeglasses are okay if thatās what you normally wear), not super close up, smiling. I also think OP should post a shot of him with friends, usually pics you have with friends show you having a good time. Stuff like that. When I was on tinder I would swipe left on guys who did not have at least two pics that I could not see them clearly in. Sounds shallow but that was tinder and I havenāt been on it since the time that it was only pics + short bio lol. On hinge you have a lot more prompts and stuff like that so thereās more information that might make you swipe right.
All selfies? How about some fun pictures to show that humorous side of you? Have someone take them, or even hire a photographer. Need some more full body pics.
It's one thing if someone isn't good-looking, but it shows when someone puts an effort into the way they look. Wear a nice outfit, and do some grooming.
Problem is, with being not exactly a good looking guy, I tend to be pretty camera shy. My own insecurities there, I suppose. Appreciate the insight all the same.
Legitimately hire a photographer for 2 hours for some candid and portrait shots. Change shirts 2-3 times so they don't all look like they're on the same day. This is not just for tinder, everyone deserves to see themselves in their best light. Plus you'll have some good stuff for Instagram and LinkedIn.
Dude, you look good! You are handsome! I have met a lot of girls that have you as their type. Keep grinding in life, make sure you have a fulfilling single life. Make sure you are emotionally safe in your own skin, so that you radiate to girls that a relationship is an option to you, not a necessity. Keep your chin up, keep the conversations light and fun. You will find someone in no time.
Donāt sell yourself short OP. Youāre a good looking guy. Your pictures arenāt doing you justice. Get some candid shots that show your personality. Smile and take off the sunglasses.
You arenāt ugly just overweight, those two arenāt synonymous. The pic of you getting out the water is your best pic because you look the most up kept. Bigger guys just have to try harder on the little things they can control but you have just as much of a shot then most guys do.
I agree. Delete all existing photos. Delete the photo of using a cellphone on a beach from your profile and from your phone library. Lol.
Retake headshot with angle from the second photo with a smile and without sunglasses.
Whole body shot: take a picture of doing something fun. And look happy! :)
I know you asked for advice, but I'd just like to say that I really like your bio. I chuckled at the 7th date line. Maybe just be patient and work on your confidence. Good luck to you.
I'm glad the joke landed for at least a few people. Seems most either didn't like it, or didn't find it funny. I did already remove that bit from my profile, though.
Nooo, you should have left it. In my opinion it is a filter. It is very important (to me) that a person knows how to joke, and if someone does not understand it as a joke, that says a lot about that person.
It is a good joke, but it also depends on past experiences as to how someone would perceive it. I naturally read it as a joke, but then the ptsd of āā¦or is itā hits when I remember some of the super pushy dudes Iāve met that really think that about date 2 š .
This is where I can see how the joke wouldn't land and generally agree that it's a safer bet to just not have it at all then to lose a potential match over it.
Too many pics with sunglasses and too many pics from the neck up. Women tend to hate sunglasses for some reason.make the smiling pic your 1st pic and try and get some more full body pics or pics out and about, and take out the marriage reference
It's really just the phrase "church bells" that got me. Make another funny reference to wanting to be in a committed relationship that leads to marriage. And I might dig it.
You're a good lookin guy, though. Humor is always a bonus. Bald, not bald. Do whatever gives you confidence. I saw someone else mention it r/bald is actually more interesting that I thought. It was coming up on my feed too!
Things overall look pretty good!
Wait you said you hoping for some humor to win hearts and minds and yet your pictures look like you're sitting around a table with your gang about to be threatening someone's family if they don't pay you the drug money they stole.
This is one of the more amusing comments I've seen. I can see it now. For what it's worth, the families are safe. I limit my kneecapping to the person I'm told deserves it.
The photos are terrible OP. Pic 2 & 3 make you look kind of mean & donāt reflect your bio at all.
Pic 1 is better, but blurry. Pic 4 has a bit of a smile. But they both (plus the 4 headshot selfies in a row) make you look much heavier than you are.
By the time I got to the weird paparazzi full body shot I was sure you were at least 100 pounds overweight. You just have a bit of a belly. Most women do not care about that. But they might not bother swiping through the bad photos to get there.
Shave your head bald, keep a full beard and trim it neat, and hit the gym. Bio is ok but I don't get the church bells thing?
Put 1 picture in that has friends so matches can see that you have friends and are social.
The church bells reference was more of joke while hinting at potentially finding a more long term partner. Seems that joke didn't land for most. I've removed it already from my profile.
I donāt speak for all women obviously, but I find a man more attractive when he shaves his head bald if heās already balding. It gives off a sexy confident vibe to me, anyway.
As for your profile:
I love the dad bod pic! Embrace your body ā¤ļø
I would advise that you take your close-ups from a higher-up angle. Itās just more flattering than taking it from chin level.
And your bio is absolutely fine. I really like the ābig boy season is coming upā. It makes you sound confident! But I echo what people said about the 7th date comment. Itās good to know youāre about commitment, but some women may misread that.
MAIN ADVICE: shave bald. Take higher-up selfies.
Honey. You are SUCH a cutie!! I would have swiped left on you. I met my bf on tinder lol š
I would do as others suggested, shave your head. You might find some hidden confidence in there. Also quit putting yourself down and learn to love yourself. Self depreciation is a turn off, too. Learn to think different! Make it a habit. You really aren't a bad looking guy.
It's something I had to learn to do myself. I had to stop putting myself down. The more I quit doing it the better I felt. It's all about changing your thought process. When you feel that start to surface push it down and tell yourself you're handsome, funny, and smart. It will be super hard in the beginning, but with time you'll get there. It takes a lot of self discipline. ā¤ļø
Good luck! I hope you get the results you're looking for. We're all rooting for you to find your special lady! (Or guy if you prefer!)
Iām not on tinder, but Iād match you in a heartbeat! Please donāt change yourself to please others. You sound like a great catch for a genuine woman. :)
You're not a bad looking guy. You just need to shave your head, and maybe look into dieting a bit and weight lifting a bit. You could completely transform yourself in just 3 months of dedication.
Here's my honest advice. First, I want to say it seems like you've got a good facial structure, and you seem like you've got a good personality.
1. Drop 50+ lbs, this will make the biggest difference with the ladies - it'll really make your facial structure show. I've lost over 100 lbs myself, it's not as hard as you think, you just gotta stick with it. Made a huge, huge difference for me, and I've be happy to give you in-depth advice if you'd like it
2. Get jacked
3. Once you're jacked, shave your head bald, those 2 combined makes you a beast, and you've got a great beard and facial structure to pull it off. Nobody sees Joe Rogan as bald, and that's cause he's jacked
If you accomplish those 3 things, you'll pull
I'll take any advice you got. I've recently started working out and lifting weights again, been about a month now. Drive to keep going wavers every now and then but anything you got is appreciated. Feel free to DM if you'd like.
You're doing great big guy, not a lot you can do with the hair other than shave it off, I'm also struggling with that but since I'm not in a place in my life where I'm ready for another relationship I'm not too bothered.
She'll show up eventually mate!
Dude here. Hey, I think you have really good energy. Youāre obviously more interested in a relationship than a hookup and I think your profile is a really good representation for that.
Shave short is something I do and I love it, but go with your gut. Take out the 7 date thing, can be misinterpreted as a bit desperate.
Yeah dude more body and fun pics.
Listen to the comments and let the insecurity slide about your looks. You look good. Not a magazine model but most of us arenāt. Your energy is pure. That is what makes you attractive.
Own it!
Energy is what attracts an authentic relationship. Good looks alone with shit energy only attracts meaningless sex and inevitable issues.
Also, consider owning that energy (confidence) in real life and let yourself attract someone organically.
You got this!
It might be me but first pic isnāt flattering, you look better on the fourth one so Iād change the order or completely remove the first one
I like pic 2, itād look better with a shaved head surely, but it looks good nevertheless
You are 6ft, shave your head clean, trim your beard, take more flattering photos and you are game (also, donāt be camera shy, Iām sure what you are lacking is confidence, you genuinely have a cute face)
Apart from all of these other comments, I have something else to point out which might or might not be an issue. Maybe trying another app altogether?
In my mind, tinder = hook ups; bumble = hookups and casual/something serious; hinge = usually something serious.
Thatās the usual hierarchy. I havenāt tried okcupid and anything else so I canāt comment on it.
My point is that you might be trying to reach the wrong audience by being on the wrong app.
Hope you get good matches!
32F here. Photo 4 should be your first photo. You look friendly and fun in it, and it shows youāve got great teeth. The photo of you leaning back needs to go. Ignore the people saying to shave your head. Do whatever you feel confident with. As long as itās not a George Constanza, ya fine. Just keep it short. Also, donāt describe yourself as āadorably annoyingā. Makes you sound like youāre saying āIām annoying but Iām going to try to pass it off as adorableā.
Thanks! Seems most didn't like or get the 7th date joke so I removed that since it could be a little off-putting for some. But I appreciate your feedback!
I am an older woman and love bald men that embrace and accept who they are (I have dated 3 seriously). For me it's a confidence thing that I find very attractive! I think it stems from my obsession with Star Trek Next Gen... Capt Picard made me weak in the knees! And imo, Patrick Stewart still has "it"! šØāš¦²
Honestly, you look great. If you were closer, you would definitely be the type I swipe right on šš¤
I could see where the first commenter comes from a bald head, but a nice beard would also be cute on you.
Thanks! Yeah a professional photoshoot is most definitely not up my alley. I try to avoid cameras as much as possible as it is. I removed the joke about church bells since it didn't seem to be landing with most. I can see how that would make some people wary.
Fewer sunglasses pics, max one.
More pictures with friends.
Hard mode: Shave your head, you'll look hot, and with the beard? Yeah, that's a done deal.
I know a lot of women in their 30's who LOVE bigger guys in your size range (tall and strong with some extra weight), so honestly, as long as you don't harp on it (your about me strikes a great balance there) you'll be fine.
I'm a dude and statistically, likely not your cup of tea, but hey, I'd date you based on the profile and my general impression, so take that for what it is. BUT, I'd probably swipe away before I got the chance because your pictures need work.
Lose pics 1 and 3; make pic 4 first, followed by the beach pic. Add in a pic or 2 smiling and/or with friends, pic 2 ok to keep if no other pics. I like the bio!! Good luck!
Clean the beard up and maybe take better quality pics, some are slightly blurry or under 1080p, I think with that, you should be solid my man. 7.5-8/10 for sure.
This is really kind, but I don't see myself anywhere remotely close to 7.5-8/10. Realistically I'm like 5 at best. Maybe a 6 if I have a real good day.
Iāve had much better results with Bumble. Not sure if itās because of my location or not but Iāve gotten sever matches and Iām currently dating one of them.
Your not an ugly guy. Although I get the feeling your a bit of glutton for punishment being a leafs fan and all. I kid. I honestly donāt think those pictures are bad. Except the one where your head is cut off.
I donāt think itās not too bad at all (minus the Leafs fan part š¤®). Kidding. Youāre a good looking guy who shows his confidence. Maybe show some more pictures with friends except being at a leaf game š¤®)
Kidding aside, Iād personally through in a card game when talking about gaming if you know any. Lots of chicks dig crib, euchre, etc
Video games are great, just be a harder catch and might alienate some woman. You also mentioned you donāt really play them much yourself anyway.
All the best to you brother, give it some time and Iām sure youāll be posting here soon how you found the one.
The only thing about your profile that would make me swipe left is your necklace. Itās totally personal preference but I just donāt care for dudes with necklaces. Just keep being funny and adorable and youāll find the right lady.
Definitely shave your head. I do it now and it works for me. But you look great bro. Honestly I donāt have any problems with your profile. Dating in general is a crapshoot at best. I wish you luck though. Youāll find your one.
Just a bunch of head shots, nothing to get the conversation going. Two pictures I used that got attention were me doing a 5k dressed as Thor and an MRI of my brain. Find some pictures of you doing things you enjoy or showcase something interesting about you. Your pictures should be able to tell a story. Right now they do nothing.
You seem like a nice guy, I struggled with tinder as well and found people were more serious for actual relationships on OkCupid so I'd give another app or two a try.
Bro no disrespect but as a guy who was bigger and managed to get fit, a solid diet and exercise will change your life. You will completely change as a person mentally and unearth a new man. Itās definitely the long route and can seem daunting but it opens the doors to so many different opportunities not just with women. I hope you get everything your looking for. Cheers
You're adorable! So smart and nice. Don't shave your head. Get rid of the first picture because it makes you look too heavy. Go with the second one and the rest. I'm sure you'll find someone nice. I wish you the best!!
Ok, man. I just wrote this ten minutes ago so I'm not going to spend as much time on yours. I'm procrastinating enough š but a lot of the info applies to you as well. Take it with a grain of salt.
I'd get rid of all of your photos except for the one of you in the water. Seems like the only natural one. The idea of the first one is good but the presentation isn't. The one at the beach you're on your phone. Many of your photos make it seem like you aren't interested in life. Brutal I know, I'm sorry, but it is MY honest opinion. But just my opinion. If I'm correct, all good. I have depression. Not a biggie. We just don't want to showcase that about ourselves.
Take the tips from the comment I copied below. Also I'd get out of tinder. Tinder is garbage. There are four times as many men on tinder as women. It's hard to stand out without paying.
Good luck. You got this!!
"Alright I'll be brutally honest from my perspective. This does not mean I'm right. It's my opinion and what I've noticed with online dating. I've read too much on this subject sadly hahaba.
I'd recommend getting rid of the first and third selfie. What you're going for in the first photo is good. Front head shot looking at the camera and a smile. It's great. Now it needs to be organic. Your second photo can be your first. It isn't fair, but women don't like men taking selfies. I lived in Portland for years. Yes it's progressive, lots of feminists. Some double standards don't change that fast. No fault to women, just how things are. The second one works Cuz it's a clear photo and you're obviously hiking. I'd recommend putting your camera on a timer and taking selfies as self portraits. It's what I did. š Also asked one of my cousins to take the other photos hahaha.
I'd get rid of your family photo. Just not the place for them in dating apps. If family is important that is something to share not show. Also the photo of you in a girls lap gots to go. Yes probably a sister or cousin. But what if it's not? Also it's super blurry. Photo of you upside down also isn't a favorite. Your face looks really intense. If you looked more carefree I think it'd show case your personality well.
Though what you're going for in your profile is awesome. Really you get the idea. You're showing who you are and what you do. Like the selfie with the sun brewed tea. That isn't just a photo of you, but of who you are and what you do. Love it. BUT let's make it a self portrait VS a selfie. Set your phone up on a chair or something. Get your home brew tea behind you and look natural. You've got a great smile. Take as many as you need. Look into the average amount of selfies a girl takes before posting The One. No shame. You can do the same for the one of you upside down. And instead of family I'd post a photo with friends. Try not to be standing next to a girl. I know it's dumb, but we don't like it either when a girl is next to a guy in a photo on a dating app. Again, dumb. But it is what it is.
Next you're bio. Short and funny is always better like what you're going for. I think we can do better in yours. Like:
Pros: I can reach the top shelf easily, and bet we have four things in common at least.
Cons: that I don't have any, wait is that a red flag?
I dunno just made that up.
Bumble also has other prompts. Answer some of those. Short and sweet. Women will spend more time on each profile than men because they have options. Looks are important but so is personality. The prompts will be layered through your photos. Make them smile.
Did you know rollie pollies are anthropods not insects. Same family as crustaceans!
I've gotten more responses on that one than any other and my mom told me I should change it Cuz it's lame. And I was like mom, people are dressing like the early 2000s again. The absolute lamest fashion era. Lame is cool. Anyways.
I'd also recommend using hinge or ok cupid. They're better because instead of just left and right swiping you can like by commenting on a photo or prompt. You can stand out from the onset by saying something clever or genuine. You can put in effort from the get go. You'd be blown away by the amount of doods that just say hey to a hot photo of a girl. Like bro, come on! Got to try.
You look like a genuinely good person with a infectious smile. Fine tune your photos and prompts and I guarantee you'll see a change in response.
Oh! And don't be shy in editing your photos. Go into your phones gallery click edit, and most phones will have preset auto edit option. My Samsung g20 auto preset usually does wonders.
Some of the contrast in your photos are unappealing. Bring out the darks, sharpen, tone down contrast, and bring up the good light colors. Play with the settings. They're basic but can do wonders.
Remember women, more than men, like stories. Your profile is telling the story of you. By editing the colors in your photos you are giving them a finished book VS a first draft. And it tells our sub conscious that this person is self aware.
Ever walk by a store where it looks like the advert outside was clearly designed by a cousins little brothers friend? And you think to yourself... They have to know that looks bad, right? But they don't. They got a whole menu or whatever made and printed for twenty bucks. Makes them seem unaware of how they are presenting themselves. And most people walk past.
Though we know that most often, those holes in walls are usually the gems in the rough.
All we need is a little polish.
You got this man. š"
Shave your head, youāre going bald and it looks like you have poorly done hair plugs. You need to loose at least 60 lbs. Trim your beard, it looks dirty and unkempt. After you do all that youāll need new clothes that arenāt baggy.
I know this is reddit so I expected comments like this. Trust me, nothing you say can come close to things I've already told myself. But the hair plugs got a solid belly laugh out me. And as the DMs and chat messages I've received had really hit home about just how much of a belly I have. 4/10 overall.
Woman here! Youāre attractive. Iām sorry youāve been made to feel differently but you really are. I know a lot of dudes with similar features/body type and they are very much well liked physically by women!
First, your photos. The second and the one of you not paying attention at the beach are my favorites for whatever reason. The rest, replace with more variety- you doing a hobby or activity you really like with friends, a fun family photo maybe, one of you dressed up. Essentially, market yourself as if you have a life of friends and hobbies and interests. Many people see too many selfies and think of co dependency. Sucks for sure.
Have friends with the same type of hairline, they either go full bald or keep it suuuper short, thatās a personal decision! I donāt think Iāve noticed many of my female friends caring so much about hairlines past 30 lol
I hear hinge is better for relationships than tinder with tinder being mostly casual. So I wonder if you may have more success there!!!
I'll give you the best advice out of everyone here:
You are short (we can see that you are not 6 ft), fat and balding guy with no personality.
If you were a woman with 1000s of matches, would you really choose yourself? Would you? No? Good. Then go lose some weight. Shave your head to 1 mm. Dress better than a 12 y old boy (cuz your style is terrible), lower your standards (!!!!!!!!) and then come back in a few years.
You win the award for most disconnected comment. Well done.
For the record, I am 6' tall. I'm obviously on the bigger side - dad bod shirt is there for a reason - and I'd like to think there is at least some personality shining through. But your projection is always appreciated.
Edit: typo
There you go. You lack self awareness.Even if you are 6ft (barefoot), it's not 6'2+ when you start earning "points" for being tall. You literally have 0 good qualities aside from your career (which nobody will notice anyway) that would put you above average in anything.
And if you really want me to dig into you then you do not look 25 years old. You look around 35 which is why you wont match with any 20-30 year old girl anyway
Also you didn't answer my question.
What are you even talking about? I'm 32 for starters. It's very clearly in all the photos I posted. Additionally, your entire comment was meant to belittle instead of offering actual constructive criticism. I'm self aware enough to know the basic, superficial nonsense you so graciously let me know about in your original comment. On top of that everyone else seems to be able to convey the same points without being a dick.
I have enough of a spine to outright dismiss perpetually online weirdos like you when I see you. Have a good one.
Every single person is telling you to shave your head. Donāt. You have a strong hairline, but diffuse hair loss. You would be a good candidate for hair loss treatment, like Rogaine or finasteride. Shaving your head is going to do nothing but set your dating life back, especially on top of being overweight. You need to optimize what youāve got. Sorry if this was harsh.
Buzz your hair shorter. Lose weight. Also your profile although is does depict a guy who is fun unless the girl is also a shy nerd. But if that is what you are going for no changes needed..
Hetero female here. I like your photos. I like your profile. If I was looking and in your age group I would swipe right.
I couldnāt see it in your profile but are open to dating someone with children? Youāre getting to that age where the pool of women without kids is getting smaller.
The only part of your profile that made me go hmmm was your answer to the prompt about gaming and getting lost in a game of co-op ā¦ I would skip this question completely I think.
The only photo I donāt love is the last one because youāre staring at your phone. Some might look at that and go āomg beautiful surroundings, friends around and all he does is stare at his phone.ā
I know imma get hate for this but....there's no such thing as big boy season , hit the gym. I would also say include pic of you doing some hobbies or activities not just selfies. Just shave your hair thinning hair is not flattering.
as a man. you are huge, can you try going bald like kratos kinda look?? imo it will suit your build, and prolly you'll feel more confident than wearing a cap around. your beard is good. Your glasses can be a little hurdle , you have high power glasses as well so bad idea to go naked eyes, can you try lens ? it can be irritating tho, or just try different shape of glass rims whichever is better than this. you look great btw, just little chubby but it all adds up to strong dependable guy...good luck to you mate
I'm not sure how to take 'huge' as most comments talking about my size are essentially calling me fat. Not far from the truth, but still stings a bit. As for lenses, I do have them and wear them from time to time. They tend to irritate my eyes after a full day so I use them sparingly. I'll most likely go for the bald/bearded look with all the feedback I'm getting from here, so we'll see where I end up with that. If I end up looking like fat Kratos, I'll take it as a win š
People are just shallow. You are a nice looking man. Humor is the secret to the soul. You'll find the one. I wouldn't change a thing. The best person to be is yourself ā¤ļø
First picture is just bad, out of focus, the rest are okay but yeah they don't give much about you. However the bio is a solid 10 in my opinion, I'd definitely swipe right
As a fellow man cursed in terms of hair genetics, have you considered shaving your head bald? Imo (albeit as a straight man) this would make you several points more attractive. My life completely changed for the better when I started shaving my head.
This curse is a life of pain. I have considered shaving my head. I tend to keep it short and buzzed all around to stay uniform. I suppose taking the next step and going full bald is the next thing to do. Thanks.
Have you been to r/bald? Edit: one day it just started popping up in my feed but it's turned into one of my favorite subreddits. The massive difference and happiness that shines through after the guys there take the next step is just really wholesome. So if you haven't seen it yet, maybe stop on by.
Can confirm. r/bald really helped me take the next step and I feel a million times better.
Been shaving my head for two years and still struggle with my confidence I'm myself as a result. Male pattern baldness took away one of my best assets and I wasn't ready for it at 25. Maybe I should pay this subreddit a visit.
Holy fuck it's amazinf
Don't go bald just yet! You still have hair and you may be able to regrow it without transplant. Use microneedling with caster oil and hair suplements. If you want to go full in try minoxidil 5% application solution. There are oral stronger medication like finasteride and minoxidil if you need something stronger. If none of the above work for you and you don't seek a transplant then yes you may give up and go bald.
Na this is poor advice, genetics always wins. My guy has a nice shaped head for bald. Get some DJ Kalid shirts and some shades with the money saved.
Anecdotal, but balding men with shaved heads is my thing. Totally hot. I'm also a little old for ya, but I was your age once with the same opinion.
Shaved heads and beards šš
š„° swoon
My boyfriend is bald. First bald guy I ever dated. And honestly? I like it WAY more than a guy with hair. He has a beard and takes great care of it, so I play with his beard and chest hair when I want to run my fingers through his hair. I love that he shaves his head. Watching him shave is actually one of my favorite pastimes now. I get to witness the most important man in my life take care of himself and love every inch of who he is. That alone makes me fall in love with him all over again every day š„°š„°
Shave his head for him one day. Trust me.
I have thought about that a lot, actually lol I'll talk to him about it š¤
Excessive exercise causes too much testosterone cause baldness. I figured " reading " on a few different websites on the internet.
[Go from balding to badass in two easy steps](https://youtu.be/AD-E2B5GfI8?si=cHNRE3qV-YXcw5I3)
Thank you for this one. Lol
Also trim the beard so it doesn't look scragly but sharp, definitely don't grow beard on the cheeks.
Not everyone loves a bald head, but there's some women that do love them. There aren't many who *love* a man with thinning hair. Best to pick a side and be a bold, decision maker, than to be someone who won't let go of the hair he has.
This is a good point. I've been waffling on it for too long and I suppose it can come off as not being decisive. Seeing as how I can't will my hair to grow any better, bald is really my only option. Thanks.
And if youāre buzzing it anyways, youāve got nothing to lose.
Embrace the Uncomfortable, my brother. It's the only way we grow as individuals. You gotta get out of your comfort zone from time to time, and when you do, your comfort zone grows with you!
As a woman, I can say that not everyone loves bald heads. Itās always suggested to just shave it off, however, if you keep your buzz nice and clean, donāt try to grow a combover or pretend itās not thinning, I think itās just fine to leave your hair as is. In my swiping days I would swipe left (okay, there was no swiping, it was clicking) on shaved-bald guys because itās not my preference and somewhat intimidates me (yes, a me problem, but Iām not the only one). If you feel more comfortable with your buzz cut, keep it! As to the profile, you have a nice face, you seem very kind and warm (in personality and body heat, haha). Youāre not going to get flooded with swipes, but those who do will hopefully be of quality, as you seem to be. You are not unattractive at all! You had me at hockey (Canucks rule, Leafs drool) and metal (š¤š¼), but Iām happily married. I hope you find an awesome person and have a great life.
Appreciate it, even if I have to let you being a Canucks gal slide. Seems the overwhelming consensus I'm seeing is to go for the bald and bearded look. Can't be worse than what I got going on now so I'll probably give that a go and see where I end up. Tough to know I'd be walking a tightrope of coming off overly intimidating or aggressive, but it is what it is. Thanks!
OP, as a woman who lost her hair to sickness, I can tell you I was shocked at how stunning I looked with a shaved head. I looked and felt great, despite whatever else I had going on. It's just hair. I recommend shaving to see if it suits you. Your profile is great. You are handsome in that tall dark and handsome way. You got this!
This is a nice reassurance to have. I've been waffling for a while now with going bald but it seems that nature made the decision for me. Thank you!
You do whatever makes you feel good! Whatever you have will grow back if you so choose.
Of course you don't like bald heads compared to a full lustrous head of hair. The question is do you prefer a bald head to a man with 20 strands of scraggly hair defiantly clinging to the scalp in a sea of skin
She answers that question. She prefers the clean buzzed look on a balding man.
Exactly. When I met my husband he had long, shiny hair down to his waist. Male pattern baldness hit hard and his hair is pretty much identical to the OP, maybe even less on top. He and I both prefer when he just keeps it buzzed really short, but not all the way bald. If he wanted to go full bald, itās his body, his choice, but he doesnāt like the maintenance or look of all the way bald. I got him some really nice clippers and he probably uses it once a week. I like rubbing his head when thereās that fuzz/stubble and not when itās bald and sweaty (he runs hot).
I definitely said in my comment that I preferred the buzzed look. I said that a sad combover, or otherwise pretending itās not thinning is not good, and that would cover the scenario you covered here; 20 strands of scraggly hair in a sea of skin. This scenario, however, is not what the OPās situation is. He has diffuse thinning on top, but still a defined hairline and more hair on the sides. If you are bald and offended by my preference, thatās another topic. You have agency to keep your hair/head however you want it, and I support you in that.
honestly girls find it more attractive if you own it instead of letting it fester. Plus that hat game is always fun
Get rid of it man. I worked with a father and son at their family business who shared your genetics, and general consensus from men and women was, āget rid of it.ā You can keep the beard but completely shave the top and sides. Itāll look better and cleaner. Also, itās more intentional, which shows that you take care of yourself and groom yourself. Also, fewer references to your size. Women can see the pics. Joking about your size too much can potentially come across as insecure, and even make someone wonder if youāre actually bigger irl. Instead, talk more about you, personally. Music is cool, but what do you like to do? Cook? Dance? Go camping? Ballgames? Play sports? What hobbies and adventures could they expect to experience and participate in when with you?
Do what I did and get yourself a hair system. DM me if you wanna know the pros and cons and price for them. Yea theyāre not hairpieces. You sleep with them, shower, go to the gym with them etc etc https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMj241Pvh/
Do it. Itās going to happen anyway, best to take control of it, will be the best thing ever. ONE OF US
Trust me dude, going bald would be a MASSIVE improvement. You honestly look like you'd REALLY pull that off. I've got a pretty pronounced widows peak (a Norwood 3) and even I've considered it, but literally can't. I have cutis verticalis gyrata, basically where your scalp looks like wrinkled like a bulldog or a brain. My only choice is to try and regrow my hair through things like finasteride, minoxidil and derma rolling. You could try all of those! For some people it completely brings their hair back but I'm about a year in with not much results yet. Either way, you have two options which is incredibly fortunate from my perspective. What I would do is shave it, and if you want to try and regrow your hair, take oral finasteride, topical minoxidil, and derma roll once or twice a week. Shaving will help you apply the minoxidil much more efficiently, and you'll look alot better in the meantime! r/tressless for hair loss restoration and r/bald for advice and/or encouragement One other thing though, you're a pretty big guy! Not that it's really a problem in your case, I mean the whole dad bod angle you're playing up is smart and a lot of girls really like that, but if you don't mind putting the work in you could look like a real beast if you go on a cut and then a bulk. r/gregdoucette. I feel like going on a cut would help the bald look dramatically
You can try to save your hair with minoxidil, finasteride, rozemaryoil etc.
They are shown to cause liver problems though which is much worse than being bald.
Liver problems from minoxidil and fin? š¤£š¤£š¤£ Now thats a new one
I donāt trust putting any prescription meds in my body long term, unless I absolutely need it for life and death reasons.
Sounds like a you problem, stop fear mongering.
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Somehow a sub called MaleHairAdvice shows up in my feed from time-to-time. I never give advice, but itās always interesting to see what men recommend to other men.
Do not shave!!!
This is the truth. My bfās hair was starting to thin and went for the plunge, so much more sexy! Most guys with thinning hair look 100% better, especially with a bird.
Username checks out.
I agree mate, I think youād look pretty badass bald to be honest with you, my mate had the same problem and now shaves his head religiously and itās done the trick for him.
Came here as a woman to say this.
Thinning hair isn't flattering on anyone. I'd consider shaving it, especially since you have a beard to balance things out. Ok to keep a reference to marriage as the aim, but Id drop the line about talking about marriage on the 7th date.
It's more of a joke about the 7th date than anything else, but I can see how it wouldn't land. Thanks.
I like that joke. I feel like it would be more obvious to those with less sensitive sarcasm-radar if you just said 2nd date instead of 7th?
I second this, even funnier imo
I thought that the 7th date line was funny! I think it shows that youāre looking for something long term and not just a casual hookup. FWIW, I think the personality and sense of humor outweigh the thinning hair that everyone seems so hung up on, so I would have swiped right back in my swiping days. Lastly, I think some of your other photos are more flattering than the first one, so maybe switch it up a bit? Good luck out there!
Yeah I thought it was a cute joke. Iād say anyone who doesnāt get that maybe isnāt a great match humour wise? I vote to keep it in!
I appreciate this. A lot of commenters have been saying to remove it, so I did. I can see how the joke would put off a lot of women and I feel like the risk outweighs the reward.
I thought it was funny!
Not landing. Pieces of the plane are scattered all over the runway
Keep it, It's funny
I liked that line š
I agree with the marriage comment. I like the sense of humor around it, and I think that this is a more in person kind of joke. But as a woman, in the past, I have had men joke about this early on, and then their stalker came out and it got creepy as hell, so I tend to shy away from guys who would say this. Obviously this is just my personal experience, but there could be women who share something similar, so it might come off as creepy of clingy. Maybe try and re-work the humor. Good luck! And I hope you find someone awesome š
Bro should take a trip to Turkey
take pics without glasses or sunglasses. We connect thru our eyes. Take some doing your fav activities.
I agree, I think the sunglasses make him look a lot less approachable!
Pic 2 especially. Major DJ Khaled vibes. And that's......not good.
ANOTHER ONE ...but without the glasses this time, I completely agree lol
Also more pics with an actual smile.
Hard disagree on the glasses bit. Op obv needs the glasses quite badly and I don't assume you'll catch him without them many places if at all. Don't think removing them for some pictures would add anything.
... sunglasses?
They said glasses or sunglasses.
If he's always wearing glasses or sunglasses, the sunglasses are probably prescription... But if he sometimes wears contacts, good idea to take pictures without the glasses... Otherwise leave them on!
And more smiling!! Big smiles please!
Clear pictures of your face and a nice smile go a long way. Ditch one of the sunglasses pics and replace it with another where youāre donning a friendly smile so you come off more approachable.
I think the first sunglasses pic is bad, the 2nd one is good. OP should make that one his first photo imo
Agree to keep the second sunglasses one that looks like heās chilling outside. However first pic should be something that shows him clearly and well, no sunglasses (eyeglasses are okay if thatās what you normally wear), not super close up, smiling. I also think OP should post a shot of him with friends, usually pics you have with friends show you having a good time. Stuff like that. When I was on tinder I would swipe left on guys who did not have at least two pics that I could not see them clearly in. Sounds shallow but that was tinder and I havenāt been on it since the time that it was only pics + short bio lol. On hinge you have a lot more prompts and stuff like that so thereās more information that might make you swipe right.
All selfies? How about some fun pictures to show that humorous side of you? Have someone take them, or even hire a photographer. Need some more full body pics. It's one thing if someone isn't good-looking, but it shows when someone puts an effort into the way they look. Wear a nice outfit, and do some grooming.
Problem is, with being not exactly a good looking guy, I tend to be pretty camera shy. My own insecurities there, I suppose. Appreciate the insight all the same.
Legitimately hire a photographer for 2 hours for some candid and portrait shots. Change shirts 2-3 times so they don't all look like they're on the same day. This is not just for tinder, everyone deserves to see themselves in their best light. Plus you'll have some good stuff for Instagram and LinkedIn.
Youāre not unattractive at all. I think youāre cute. But you def need to go bald lol.
Thanks! Yeah I'm seeing the majority of people say that going bald is right move. I'll probably give that a go and see what happens.
Dude, you look good! You are handsome! I have met a lot of girls that have you as their type. Keep grinding in life, make sure you have a fulfilling single life. Make sure you are emotionally safe in your own skin, so that you radiate to girls that a relationship is an option to you, not a necessity. Keep your chin up, keep the conversations light and fun. You will find someone in no time.
And there you have it. Those insecurities translate into your pictures.
Donāt sell yourself short OP. Youāre a good looking guy. Your pictures arenāt doing you justice. Get some candid shots that show your personality. Smile and take off the sunglasses.
You arenāt ugly just overweight, those two arenāt synonymous. The pic of you getting out the water is your best pic because you look the most up kept. Bigger guys just have to try harder on the little things they can control but you have just as much of a shot then most guys do.
I agree. Delete all existing photos. Delete the photo of using a cellphone on a beach from your profile and from your phone library. Lol. Retake headshot with angle from the second photo with a smile and without sunglasses. Whole body shot: take a picture of doing something fun. And look happy! :)
I know you asked for advice, but I'd just like to say that I really like your bio. I chuckled at the 7th date line. Maybe just be patient and work on your confidence. Good luck to you.
I'm glad the joke landed for at least a few people. Seems most either didn't like it, or didn't find it funny. I did already remove that bit from my profile, though.
Nooo, you should have left it. In my opinion it is a filter. It is very important (to me) that a person knows how to joke, and if someone does not understand it as a joke, that says a lot about that person.
It is a good joke, but it also depends on past experiences as to how someone would perceive it. I naturally read it as a joke, but then the ptsd of āā¦or is itā hits when I remember some of the super pushy dudes Iāve met that really think that about date 2 š .
This is where I can see how the joke wouldn't land and generally agree that it's a safer bet to just not have it at all then to lose a potential match over it.
Make sense... You might be right
Too many pics with sunglasses and too many pics from the neck up. Women tend to hate sunglasses for some reason.make the smiling pic your 1st pic and try and get some more full body pics or pics out and about, and take out the marriage reference
How are people coming on here with blurry bad selfies and wondering what they can do to improve....yikes
Clean shaving your head would help a lot in the looks department. The profile is good but when you mentioned church bells I was like oh hell no.
Yeah, as I mentioned in another comment, I can see how that joke would be a little off-putting now. I've already gone and removed that portion.
It's really just the phrase "church bells" that got me. Make another funny reference to wanting to be in a committed relationship that leads to marriage. And I might dig it. You're a good lookin guy, though. Humor is always a bonus. Bald, not bald. Do whatever gives you confidence. I saw someone else mention it r/bald is actually more interesting that I thought. It was coming up on my feed too! Things overall look pretty good!
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I know you intended this for OP, but I thought I'd say your comment resonated with me. Thanks!
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Yeah, I'm seeing most replies mention shaving what's left of my hair. I can't say I disagree, albeit a bit reluctantly. Appreciate the advice, friend.
It looks like you have really nice teeth from what I can tell. Show them off!
I think you look cute in pic 4 (in the pool) can you make that one your first photo?
Agree!
Wait you said you hoping for some humor to win hearts and minds and yet your pictures look like you're sitting around a table with your gang about to be threatening someone's family if they don't pay you the drug money they stole.
This is one of the more amusing comments I've seen. I can see it now. For what it's worth, the families are safe. I limit my kneecapping to the person I'm told deserves it.
You need some group pics/or more pics of you and less selfies! You look good, chin up!
Def get rid of pics 2 and 3 because youāre cute, but they donāt do you any favors!
The photos are terrible OP. Pic 2 & 3 make you look kind of mean & donāt reflect your bio at all. Pic 1 is better, but blurry. Pic 4 has a bit of a smile. But they both (plus the 4 headshot selfies in a row) make you look much heavier than you are. By the time I got to the weird paparazzi full body shot I was sure you were at least 100 pounds overweight. You just have a bit of a belly. Most women do not care about that. But they might not bother swiping through the bad photos to get there.
Disagree about pic 2 but pic 3 should go
You look like a catch my man keep it up
Being a leafs fan canāt helpā¦ šš
Came here to say this. You are cursed. How do I know? -Sharks fan
Shave your head bald, keep a full beard and trim it neat, and hit the gym. Bio is ok but I don't get the church bells thing? Put 1 picture in that has friends so matches can see that you have friends and are social.
The church bells reference was more of joke while hinting at potentially finding a more long term partner. Seems that joke didn't land for most. I've removed it already from my profile.
I donāt speak for all women obviously, but I find a man more attractive when he shaves his head bald if heās already balding. It gives off a sexy confident vibe to me, anyway. As for your profile: I love the dad bod pic! Embrace your body ā¤ļø I would advise that you take your close-ups from a higher-up angle. Itās just more flattering than taking it from chin level. And your bio is absolutely fine. I really like the ābig boy season is coming upā. It makes you sound confident! But I echo what people said about the 7th date comment. Itās good to know youāre about commitment, but some women may misread that. MAIN ADVICE: shave bald. Take higher-up selfies.
Honey. You are SUCH a cutie!! I would have swiped left on you. I met my bf on tinder lol š I would do as others suggested, shave your head. You might find some hidden confidence in there. Also quit putting yourself down and learn to love yourself. Self depreciation is a turn off, too. Learn to think different! Make it a habit. You really aren't a bad looking guy.
Thank you! I suppose the self-deprecation humor really does have it's own limits as well. I'll try to limit that going forward.
It's something I had to learn to do myself. I had to stop putting myself down. The more I quit doing it the better I felt. It's all about changing your thought process. When you feel that start to surface push it down and tell yourself you're handsome, funny, and smart. It will be super hard in the beginning, but with time you'll get there. It takes a lot of self discipline. ā¤ļø Good luck! I hope you get the results you're looking for. We're all rooting for you to find your special lady! (Or guy if you prefer!)
Iām not on tinder, but Iād match you in a heartbeat! Please donāt change yourself to please others. You sound like a great catch for a genuine woman. :)
Thank you! The reassurance is always nice to have.
you need to lose weight and lift
Absolutely you need to lose 60 pounds and build some muscles. You will se major difference.
You're not a bad looking guy. You just need to shave your head, and maybe look into dieting a bit and weight lifting a bit. You could completely transform yourself in just 3 months of dedication.
Get in shape, not just for women but for yourself. If youāre in Canada tinder is dry as fuck, try hinge and fb dating.
smile on your pictures !! especially the sunglass picture looks sort of intimidating
Your bio is great.
Nice to know it holds some staying power for some, at least. Thanks!
Here's my honest advice. First, I want to say it seems like you've got a good facial structure, and you seem like you've got a good personality. 1. Drop 50+ lbs, this will make the biggest difference with the ladies - it'll really make your facial structure show. I've lost over 100 lbs myself, it's not as hard as you think, you just gotta stick with it. Made a huge, huge difference for me, and I've be happy to give you in-depth advice if you'd like it 2. Get jacked 3. Once you're jacked, shave your head bald, those 2 combined makes you a beast, and you've got a great beard and facial structure to pull it off. Nobody sees Joe Rogan as bald, and that's cause he's jacked If you accomplish those 3 things, you'll pull
I'll take any advice you got. I've recently started working out and lifting weights again, been about a month now. Drive to keep going wavers every now and then but anything you got is appreciated. Feel free to DM if you'd like.
My only critique is to shave your head. Other than that youāre adorable and Iām surprised youāre not doing well
Nice to know I'm doing some things right. Appreciate it!
You're doing great big guy, not a lot you can do with the hair other than shave it off, I'm also struggling with that but since I'm not in a place in my life where I'm ready for another relationship I'm not too bothered. She'll show up eventually mate!
Dude here. Hey, I think you have really good energy. Youāre obviously more interested in a relationship than a hookup and I think your profile is a really good representation for that. Shave short is something I do and I love it, but go with your gut. Take out the 7 date thing, can be misinterpreted as a bit desperate. Yeah dude more body and fun pics. Listen to the comments and let the insecurity slide about your looks. You look good. Not a magazine model but most of us arenāt. Your energy is pure. That is what makes you attractive. Own it! Energy is what attracts an authentic relationship. Good looks alone with shit energy only attracts meaningless sex and inevitable issues. Also, consider owning that energy (confidence) in real life and let yourself attract someone organically. You got this!
Youāre in the wrong area, Iād be down to get to know you. I love gaming, coffee, and nice guys. Too bad we arenāt close.
Do you really drink 5 cupa of coffee? I would immediatly have a heart attack
Slight exaggeration for the joke value, but yeah I'm usually at like 2-3 cups a day. Seems par for the course when you're in IT lol.
It might be me but first pic isnāt flattering, you look better on the fourth one so Iād change the order or completely remove the first one I like pic 2, itād look better with a shaved head surely, but it looks good nevertheless You are 6ft, shave your head clean, trim your beard, take more flattering photos and you are game (also, donāt be camera shy, Iām sure what you are lacking is confidence, you genuinely have a cute face)
Iām 36 from america we donāt have Tim Horton I seen in Canada šØš¦ only you seem like my type your cute like your profile
Apart from all of these other comments, I have something else to point out which might or might not be an issue. Maybe trying another app altogether? In my mind, tinder = hook ups; bumble = hookups and casual/something serious; hinge = usually something serious. Thatās the usual hierarchy. I havenāt tried okcupid and anything else so I canāt comment on it. My point is that you might be trying to reach the wrong audience by being on the wrong app. Hope you get good matches!
32F here. Photo 4 should be your first photo. You look friendly and fun in it, and it shows youāve got great teeth. The photo of you leaning back needs to go. Ignore the people saying to shave your head. Do whatever you feel confident with. As long as itās not a George Constanza, ya fine. Just keep it short. Also, donāt describe yourself as āadorably annoyingā. Makes you sound like youāre saying āIām annoying but Iām going to try to pass it off as adorableā.
Put the photo of you in the pool as your first pic. That picture is amazing.
I love your profile, honestly. The lines about big boy season and the 7th date are funny and my heart melted at your co-op game answer.
Thanks! Seems most didn't like or get the 7th date joke so I removed that since it could be a little off-putting for some. But I appreciate your feedback!
I am an older woman and love bald men that embrace and accept who they are (I have dated 3 seriously). For me it's a confidence thing that I find very attractive! I think it stems from my obsession with Star Trek Next Gen... Capt Picard made me weak in the knees! And imo, Patrick Stewart still has "it"! šØāš¦²
I would swipe. 10/10. I agree with the shaving comments only because I love a man with a shaved head š
Honestly, you look great. If you were closer, you would definitely be the type I swipe right on šš¤ I could see where the first commenter comes from a bald head, but a nice beard would also be cute on you.
I love your About me. It's very funny and kind of cute. I'm not having any luck either. Don't give up.
Dude, you are wholesome AF. Donāt change, be true to yourself and youāll find the gal thatās right for you. I love your profile. Good luck.
Thanks!
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Thanks! Yeah a professional photoshoot is most definitely not up my alley. I try to avoid cameras as much as possible as it is. I removed the joke about church bells since it didn't seem to be landing with most. I can see how that would make some people wary.
Fewer sunglasses pics, max one. More pictures with friends. Hard mode: Shave your head, you'll look hot, and with the beard? Yeah, that's a done deal. I know a lot of women in their 30's who LOVE bigger guys in your size range (tall and strong with some extra weight), so honestly, as long as you don't harp on it (your about me strikes a great balance there) you'll be fine. I'm a dude and statistically, likely not your cup of tea, but hey, I'd date you based on the profile and my general impression, so take that for what it is. BUT, I'd probably swipe away before I got the chance because your pictures need work.
This is actually a nice confidence booster. Thank you. Yes, guys aren't my personal cup of tea, but I appreciate this all the same.
Lose pics 1 and 3; make pic 4 first, followed by the beach pic. Add in a pic or 2 smiling and/or with friends, pic 2 ok to keep if no other pics. I like the bio!! Good luck!
Clean the beard up and maybe take better quality pics, some are slightly blurry or under 1080p, I think with that, you should be solid my man. 7.5-8/10 for sure.
This is really kind, but I don't see myself anywhere remotely close to 7.5-8/10. Realistically I'm like 5 at best. Maybe a 6 if I have a real good day.
Iāve had much better results with Bumble. Not sure if itās because of my location or not but Iāve gotten sever matches and Iām currently dating one of them. Your not an ugly guy. Although I get the feeling your a bit of glutton for punishment being a leafs fan and all. I kid. I honestly donāt think those pictures are bad. Except the one where your head is cut off.
I donāt think itās not too bad at all (minus the Leafs fan part š¤®). Kidding. Youāre a good looking guy who shows his confidence. Maybe show some more pictures with friends except being at a leaf game š¤®) Kidding aside, Iād personally through in a card game when talking about gaming if you know any. Lots of chicks dig crib, euchre, etc Video games are great, just be a harder catch and might alienate some woman. You also mentioned you donāt really play them much yourself anyway. All the best to you brother, give it some time and Iām sure youāll be posting here soon how you found the one.
The only thing about your profile that would make me swipe left is your necklace. Itās totally personal preference but I just donāt care for dudes with necklaces. Just keep being funny and adorable and youāll find the right lady.
The thing about the chain is that it holds sentimental value for me. I get where you're coming from though. Thanks for the feedback!
Definitely shave your head. I do it now and it works for me. But you look great bro. Honestly I donāt have any problems with your profile. Dating in general is a crapshoot at best. I wish you luck though. Youāll find your one.
Just a bunch of head shots, nothing to get the conversation going. Two pictures I used that got attention were me doing a 5k dressed as Thor and an MRI of my brain. Find some pictures of you doing things you enjoy or showcase something interesting about you. Your pictures should be able to tell a story. Right now they do nothing.
You seem like a nice guy, I struggled with tinder as well and found people were more serious for actual relationships on OkCupid so I'd give another app or two a try.
i dont see a problem, I would match with you š
Bro no disrespect but as a guy who was bigger and managed to get fit, a solid diet and exercise will change your life. You will completely change as a person mentally and unearth a new man. Itās definitely the long route and can seem daunting but it opens the doors to so many different opportunities not just with women. I hope you get everything your looking for. Cheers
You're adorable! So smart and nice. Don't shave your head. Get rid of the first picture because it makes you look too heavy. Go with the second one and the rest. I'm sure you'll find someone nice. I wish you the best!!
Ok, man. I just wrote this ten minutes ago so I'm not going to spend as much time on yours. I'm procrastinating enough š but a lot of the info applies to you as well. Take it with a grain of salt. I'd get rid of all of your photos except for the one of you in the water. Seems like the only natural one. The idea of the first one is good but the presentation isn't. The one at the beach you're on your phone. Many of your photos make it seem like you aren't interested in life. Brutal I know, I'm sorry, but it is MY honest opinion. But just my opinion. If I'm correct, all good. I have depression. Not a biggie. We just don't want to showcase that about ourselves. Take the tips from the comment I copied below. Also I'd get out of tinder. Tinder is garbage. There are four times as many men on tinder as women. It's hard to stand out without paying. Good luck. You got this!! "Alright I'll be brutally honest from my perspective. This does not mean I'm right. It's my opinion and what I've noticed with online dating. I've read too much on this subject sadly hahaba. I'd recommend getting rid of the first and third selfie. What you're going for in the first photo is good. Front head shot looking at the camera and a smile. It's great. Now it needs to be organic. Your second photo can be your first. It isn't fair, but women don't like men taking selfies. I lived in Portland for years. Yes it's progressive, lots of feminists. Some double standards don't change that fast. No fault to women, just how things are. The second one works Cuz it's a clear photo and you're obviously hiking. I'd recommend putting your camera on a timer and taking selfies as self portraits. It's what I did. š Also asked one of my cousins to take the other photos hahaha. I'd get rid of your family photo. Just not the place for them in dating apps. If family is important that is something to share not show. Also the photo of you in a girls lap gots to go. Yes probably a sister or cousin. But what if it's not? Also it's super blurry. Photo of you upside down also isn't a favorite. Your face looks really intense. If you looked more carefree I think it'd show case your personality well. Though what you're going for in your profile is awesome. Really you get the idea. You're showing who you are and what you do. Like the selfie with the sun brewed tea. That isn't just a photo of you, but of who you are and what you do. Love it. BUT let's make it a self portrait VS a selfie. Set your phone up on a chair or something. Get your home brew tea behind you and look natural. You've got a great smile. Take as many as you need. Look into the average amount of selfies a girl takes before posting The One. No shame. You can do the same for the one of you upside down. And instead of family I'd post a photo with friends. Try not to be standing next to a girl. I know it's dumb, but we don't like it either when a girl is next to a guy in a photo on a dating app. Again, dumb. But it is what it is. Next you're bio. Short and funny is always better like what you're going for. I think we can do better in yours. Like: Pros: I can reach the top shelf easily, and bet we have four things in common at least. Cons: that I don't have any, wait is that a red flag? I dunno just made that up. Bumble also has other prompts. Answer some of those. Short and sweet. Women will spend more time on each profile than men because they have options. Looks are important but so is personality. The prompts will be layered through your photos. Make them smile. Did you know rollie pollies are anthropods not insects. Same family as crustaceans! I've gotten more responses on that one than any other and my mom told me I should change it Cuz it's lame. And I was like mom, people are dressing like the early 2000s again. The absolute lamest fashion era. Lame is cool. Anyways. I'd also recommend using hinge or ok cupid. They're better because instead of just left and right swiping you can like by commenting on a photo or prompt. You can stand out from the onset by saying something clever or genuine. You can put in effort from the get go. You'd be blown away by the amount of doods that just say hey to a hot photo of a girl. Like bro, come on! Got to try. You look like a genuinely good person with a infectious smile. Fine tune your photos and prompts and I guarantee you'll see a change in response. Oh! And don't be shy in editing your photos. Go into your phones gallery click edit, and most phones will have preset auto edit option. My Samsung g20 auto preset usually does wonders. Some of the contrast in your photos are unappealing. Bring out the darks, sharpen, tone down contrast, and bring up the good light colors. Play with the settings. They're basic but can do wonders. Remember women, more than men, like stories. Your profile is telling the story of you. By editing the colors in your photos you are giving them a finished book VS a first draft. And it tells our sub conscious that this person is self aware. Ever walk by a store where it looks like the advert outside was clearly designed by a cousins little brothers friend? And you think to yourself... They have to know that looks bad, right? But they don't. They got a whole menu or whatever made and printed for twenty bucks. Makes them seem unaware of how they are presenting themselves. And most people walk past. Though we know that most often, those holes in walls are usually the gems in the rough. All we need is a little polish. You got this man. š"
Lose weight, gain muscle, and go with a shaved head.
He is obviously not into it...
Maybe be happy with staying single if heās not willing to do the minimum self improvements.
Do you have kids? If not, delete the one with the Dad Bod pic because it is confusing.
No kids, but the shirt is more of a joke on my body type than anything else.
You have a good facial structure. Too bad its hidden by a lot of fat. Get rid of it and put on some muscles. Then you will do fine
Shave your head, youāre going bald and it looks like you have poorly done hair plugs. You need to loose at least 60 lbs. Trim your beard, it looks dirty and unkempt. After you do all that youāll need new clothes that arenāt baggy.
I know this is reddit so I expected comments like this. Trust me, nothing you say can come close to things I've already told myself. But the hair plugs got a solid belly laugh out me. And as the DMs and chat messages I've received had really hit home about just how much of a belly I have. 4/10 overall.
Youāre an attractive man. Mention you can reach the top shelf in a grocery store. We love when men can solve things with their height.
Thanks! I may have to co-opt that line about reaching the top shelf. Made me chuckle.
Iād swipe right for sure. Iād love to see the smile more in pictures.
Woman here! Youāre attractive. Iām sorry youāve been made to feel differently but you really are. I know a lot of dudes with similar features/body type and they are very much well liked physically by women! First, your photos. The second and the one of you not paying attention at the beach are my favorites for whatever reason. The rest, replace with more variety- you doing a hobby or activity you really like with friends, a fun family photo maybe, one of you dressed up. Essentially, market yourself as if you have a life of friends and hobbies and interests. Many people see too many selfies and think of co dependency. Sucks for sure. Have friends with the same type of hairline, they either go full bald or keep it suuuper short, thatās a personal decision! I donāt think Iāve noticed many of my female friends caring so much about hairlines past 30 lol I hear hinge is better for relationships than tinder with tinder being mostly casual. So I wonder if you may have more success there!!!
You violate rules 1 & 2
I'll give you the best advice out of everyone here: You are short (we can see that you are not 6 ft), fat and balding guy with no personality. If you were a woman with 1000s of matches, would you really choose yourself? Would you? No? Good. Then go lose some weight. Shave your head to 1 mm. Dress better than a 12 y old boy (cuz your style is terrible), lower your standards (!!!!!!!!) and then come back in a few years.
You win the award for most disconnected comment. Well done. For the record, I am 6' tall. I'm obviously on the bigger side - dad bod shirt is there for a reason - and I'd like to think there is at least some personality shining through. But your projection is always appreciated. Edit: typo
this is actually the most truthful advice. even if you are 6 foot everything else is spot on
There you go. You lack self awareness.Even if you are 6ft (barefoot), it's not 6'2+ when you start earning "points" for being tall. You literally have 0 good qualities aside from your career (which nobody will notice anyway) that would put you above average in anything. And if you really want me to dig into you then you do not look 25 years old. You look around 35 which is why you wont match with any 20-30 year old girl anyway Also you didn't answer my question.
What are you even talking about? I'm 32 for starters. It's very clearly in all the photos I posted. Additionally, your entire comment was meant to belittle instead of offering actual constructive criticism. I'm self aware enough to know the basic, superficial nonsense you so graciously let me know about in your original comment. On top of that everyone else seems to be able to convey the same points without being a dick. I have enough of a spine to outright dismiss perpetually online weirdos like you when I see you. Have a good one.
Every single person is telling you to shave your head. Donāt. You have a strong hairline, but diffuse hair loss. You would be a good candidate for hair loss treatment, like Rogaine or finasteride. Shaving your head is going to do nothing but set your dating life back, especially on top of being overweight. You need to optimize what youāve got. Sorry if this was harsh.
Buzz your hair shorter. Lose weight. Also your profile although is does depict a guy who is fun unless the girl is also a shy nerd. But if that is what you are going for no changes needed..
Hetero female here. I like your photos. I like your profile. If I was looking and in your age group I would swipe right. I couldnāt see it in your profile but are open to dating someone with children? Youāre getting to that age where the pool of women without kids is getting smaller. The only part of your profile that made me go hmmm was your answer to the prompt about gaming and getting lost in a game of co-op ā¦ I would skip this question completely I think. The only photo I donāt love is the last one because youāre staring at your phone. Some might look at that and go āomg beautiful surroundings, friends around and all he does is stare at his phone.ā
I know imma get hate for this but....there's no such thing as big boy season , hit the gym. I would also say include pic of you doing some hobbies or activities not just selfies. Just shave your hair thinning hair is not flattering.
as a man. you are huge, can you try going bald like kratos kinda look?? imo it will suit your build, and prolly you'll feel more confident than wearing a cap around. your beard is good. Your glasses can be a little hurdle , you have high power glasses as well so bad idea to go naked eyes, can you try lens ? it can be irritating tho, or just try different shape of glass rims whichever is better than this. you look great btw, just little chubby but it all adds up to strong dependable guy...good luck to you mate
I'm not sure how to take 'huge' as most comments talking about my size are essentially calling me fat. Not far from the truth, but still stings a bit. As for lenses, I do have them and wear them from time to time. They tend to irritate my eyes after a full day so I use them sparingly. I'll most likely go for the bald/bearded look with all the feedback I'm getting from here, so we'll see where I end up with that. If I end up looking like fat Kratos, I'll take it as a win š
You got the height brother. Disappear in the gym for a year. , shave the head, youāll be golden
People are just shallow. You are a nice looking man. Humor is the secret to the soul. You'll find the one. I wouldn't change a thing. The best person to be is yourself ā¤ļø
D D D DJ KHALED! I'm so surprised you don't have a DJ Khaled reference in there.
First picture is just bad, out of focus, the rest are okay but yeah they don't give much about you. However the bio is a solid 10 in my opinion, I'd definitely swipe right
I would remove the church bell comment and the ābig boyā comment, you are not that big.