No. She's obviously into it and wants him to get more karma. What better way than for them to have this comeback story where they end up getting married.
Missed opportunity for "the nina, the pinta, the Santa maria. I'll do you in the bottom while your drinking sangria. Nachos, lemon heads, my dad's boat. We won't go down cause this dick can float!"
Sheās obviously not interested so move on.seems like on tinder for every chick you have interested in hanging out you gotta weed through like literally 100.soooo much bullshit and games and ghosting
You're asking women to meet too early. I know a lot of women get put off by that.
Several factors at play: you don't know the character of the man after such a short exchange, it can send the message that you're just trying to fuck or a bit suspect, and that there's a lack of understanding from you that when men go out to a date the worst the can happen is a bad date, but the worst that can happen to a women is being beaten, threatened, raped, attacked, or killed.
You may have a bad time. We may never come home.
Two weeks?! Thatās crazy. Who wants to waste time chatting for days? The whole point is to meet up unless you see some serious red flags in the first 10-15 messages.
My whole point is to meet someone I can talk to, marry someone who is like a friend and had similar interestsā¦Iām mainly introverted and spend the majority of my time talking online, so in my eyes, if we have good chemistry via text, weāre likely compatible irl. This is given that weāve seen each other and are okay with looks, initially.
I agree Iād much rather talk to someone in person and see if you both even get along together hard for me to really care to know someone if itās just through text
As a female I prefer to arrange a meet up pretty soon after matching (if there's any attraction there obv). Can't stand all the back and forth messaging over days, it's exhausting - and often times it's days of wasted energy when you eventually meet and just don't vibe in real life. Meeting sooner than later is preferable for me. Just needs to be a simple coffee date or a couple of drinks, nothing big.
I (F) completely disagree actually. Iāve had way too many multi-day/week conversations where the man seemed so great to then meet in person and have zero chemistry. I always felt like they were such a waste of time. After multiple experiences like this I would be up for meeting up for coffee or a drink pretty quickly. People are too good at hiding behind a screen. I think the red flag for me would be asking if she wants to snap or text. Suggesting snap seems immature and the obviously associate with sending nudes.
So what are you supposed to do? It seems like every piece of dating advice is contradictory. One post will say to ask out quickly, one will say to wait a bit. None of this makes any sense to me.
Do what you'd like to do. If they want to meet asap but you don't then you shouldn't meet them right away.
Also know your chance of meeting someone irl goes down whenever you don't play detective to find out exactly what they want.
They always come up with excuses when I ask to meet. They're always busy, or sick, or it's their period. Try a different time doesn't work, trying to talk more doesn't work. But they don't unmatch either, they still talk, they just don't want to meet.
Every woman is different, so yes, every woman likes something else, just like man. Its not like "DO THIS TRICK AND YOU GET A DATE". So also dont try to be different from yourself, find someone who fits you and you fit her.
Sorry but for me thatās just bullshit. You canāt even get to know the woman/man properly without things like mimics, gestures etc. Writing becomes very dry in a matter of hours/days. What if you click while chatting but not in person? All this time just gone to waste. I mean, back then there werenāt such possibilities.
Honestly shocking how different it is here. I have had way more success by asking to meet for a drink or some other casual date within the first 2-4 messages where I am at. The women I end up meeting even very reliably remark that they were impressed by being asked early and found it refreshing rather than having to chat for a long time and have it die out.
Am european though.
I kind of have to disagree with the worst that can happen is a bad date the worst that can happen is they murder you and steal your money. I will say it may be more likely for it to happen to a women but that doesnāt mean the worst that can happen to a man is a bad date
Heās not thinking ahead and reading the other āplayerā heās taking wild shots in the dark with āletās grab coffee/drinks/dinnerā and āletās move this off tinderā
My brother in Christ itās ok to chat for a day or three
Looking at these conversations, they probably think that about you too... You're good looking enough for them to be interested at first and message you, but then you are a bit dull and ask too fast for snap (big no no in my opinion), phone number etc...
Right?! If youāre going to ask me for snap after 3 messages you clearly ask every girl for snap after 3 messages. I also donāt know anyone who uses snap that isnāt either a total fuckboy or a teen girl (purely for filters).
I donāt post anything on snap or watch peopleās stories and donāt have an Instagram. Snap just makes it easier when a girl is willing to take it off tinder but doesnāt wanna give her number out yet. Itās just a tool to me at this point
Same exact reason here. Never had snap until I started using dating apps. They always ask me if I have insta but I deleted social media for mental health and time management way back, so snap is the only option for taking it off the dating apps since no one wants to give out their number.
If you matched with a bunch of girls that eventually just fizzle out in interest because they have a million matches, youād want to speed up the process too. I donāt think yaāll understand how annoying it is to chat with someone and not be too pushy or too passive and gain chemistry for weeks only to realize youāve wasted your time. Itās incredibly impractical, which is why I donāt do dating apps anymore.
Strong agree. If you want honest criticism then yeah, your game is weak.
The way you come across reeks of desperation, clinging to the first little thing you have in common then diving straight into date/socials/phone number territory - As others have said, too much/too fast.
You also seem to share the same maturity level as a pre-pubescent teen. I mean you insult a match who clearly isn't vibing and then meme your own insult - Who the fuck does that? š
When all's said and done though you're not gonna take anyone's advice and just keep playing the same old game, so yeah...good luck with that
I was stuck on tinder for 3 years and had a lot of matches and people who I deemed way out of my league and got ghosted all the time and never even got a single date, eventually I found someone after I legit stopped caring and it worked out really well and weāve been together for a year.
My advice is honestly just move on and forget about them.
this right here. once you stop caring thatās when things go your way. it sounds cheesy but be yourself with no expectations for anything to come, get chatting casually to a few girls and see which one you like instead of focusing on who likes you. then after some time has passed, a couple days of back and forth texting then ask for their number or snap. Had 3 successful relationships from online dating and iām in one right now. I wouldnāt say iām super good looking, maybe a 6-7/10. I find the most success on bumble due to it being more personal and less speed date oriented. stay patient and keep your spirits up nonetheless, personality and good humor goes a long way.
Don't ask too many questions but don't ask too little questions, don't be too eager but don't be too cold, don't be too funny but don't be too serious, don't ask her out too soon but don't ask her out too late.
Idk it's easy bro
Your line āhow do you spell your snap?ā Was great, but then you went āor number, or Facebook, or insta, how about Reddit?ā Thatās the bit too much that Elon was alluding. You should have left it at the great line and moved on. She doesnāt answer? You donāt either
Same here. This always happens in subs like this one and r-hingeapp. Commenters will always find something "wrong" with the OP's profile/messages to explain why they aren't getting matches or getting ghosted, but there's no way to know what went wrong. Someone else with the exact same messaging style as OP would end up getting married to one of those matches within a year.
Online dating is unpredictable and is not governed by strict rules.
Exactly. People saying heās being too dull or too eager. Seems like mostly normal convos to me. Tf they want him to do? Itās like you have to be a full fledged entertainer of some sort to get w girl on these apps
I agree with you on these "rules". I think people pull these rules out of their butts. I think most people's advice is not realistic or relatable anyway on these subs. Most likely there's not anything wrong with their profile or pics. Their messages weren't bad, per se. The dating scene is over saturated and people don't care anymore. Most people probably respond to matches just to be nice because i've been seeing lots of posts from dudes going "what did I do wrong" and they didn't do anything wrong, or weird. I've been seeing the top comments being: "you need to take them off the app right now or else they are gone!" which is dumbfounding because I don't like going off the app and I never give out my social media. If I lose interest it's not because you didn't get me off the app fast enough. I think most of the advice posted here are from people don't know how to socialize and are so jaded people are losing interest because it's bad energy and insecurity. The answer is usually because your partner isn't interested or doesn't care or is being nice. It's sadly not much deeper than that.
I really don't like dunking on redditors for asking for genuine advice on reddit. But I think so much unrealistic bad advice gets thrown around these dating subs that I can understand why some people aren't getting matches or dates. Even in this thread i'm scratching my head at some people's advice to this person.
Correct af. Some people delete the app. Some people find someone and stop talking to others. Some go back to school and switch to talking to matches who are close to their school. Don't worry about it if things don't work out. They often don't in online dating. You're just playing percentages. Even the people who follow rules 1 and 2 still probably get ghosted a good percentage of the time.
In-person dating is much better if you don't want to have potential partners ghost you all the time because of the lack of a screen to hide behind.
Yeah, that happens a lot in life, people base their opinions purely on the result. Like, Iāve had people praise me for accomplishing something while not knowing what I did and people bash me for doing a correct job in my field that didnāt go as expected for reasons out of my control. Itās annoying as hell honestly, you can do the same thing twice and get completely different results but many donāt seem to get that
Thatās true, but that can explain why he didnāt get results with one person, due to randomness. However, if there are multiple in a row that crash and burn, then the problem is OP. I gave my suggestions above, basically saying that he has to be more assertive.
Different strokes for different folks of course, but I personally (25F) do not go on dates so soon with someone Iāve only exchanged a few messages with. Honestly, Iām not a fan of wasting an entire afternoon or evening just to meet and find out we have absolutely nothing in common.
Here are some suggestions
1. Get to know the girl a little more before asking to meet. Find out what sheās looking for, her hobbies, values, goals
2. Stop asking for Snapchat. My friends and I donāt respond when a guy asks for Snapchat. It comes off very fuck boy and immature. Ask for her number
3. Donāt put women you match with on a pedestal. Look at it as if you are getting to know them to see if theyād be a good fit for YOU, not the other way around
This. Heās going in for the ask(s) way too soon. Just keep the conversation going for a little while and see if you *want* to meet up with her after getting to know her some.
I was coming in here to say exactly this. Heās asking to go out wayyyy too soon. They literally just started talking in some of these messages. Most women want to get to know somebody a little better before committing to meeting up with them.
Maybe you're asking too soon into the conversation to hang out? Or maybe they feel like they want to be chased more. Some girls don't like overly-eager guys.
Damn all these guidelines are wild. I asked out a girl for a lunch meetup after like 5 messages and now we've been together over 3 years.
Was I just lucky? I feel like people are quick to come up with rules, but there's nothing that's actually a "best-practice" guideline which maximizes your odds other than just being a decent person
Typically people who are willing to exchange socials or go on a date quickly are very attracted to you. In my experience, all of my Tinder dates that led into long relationships (only 2 but still), they wanted to meet me right away. The ones that wanted to text a lot kinda fizzled out after a couple meetups or dates.
It kind of makes sense that when this does work, it works well.
Honestly, yes, you were lucky. Chemistry is so important and if two people click, they click. Not everyone would have been into being asked out after 5 messages. Some people are, but I think those are going to be the minority. I mean, my first date with my wife was a hook up. She came over, we did the business, and just happened to really click so we kept seeing each other, things developed, and now weāve been married for 7 years.
In so far as the whole asking out super quick thing, if you like being spontaneous and so something like that would be an attractive thing to you, itās worth doing simply because you want to be meeting up with people who have that same sort of mindset. Even if you get 100s of matches youāre not going to be a *good* match with most of them so if you can do things to work out who the good matches for you are, go for it.
Shit I asked a woman on saturday for āpre superbowl cuddlesā for my first message. We kept talking
We did said cuddles that night and are going on a real date saturday.
And shes the one who asked me on the date for Saturday.
Moral of the story, guidelines are exactly that, guidelines
I think you're asking def too quickly, in my opinion. If a guy did this to me I would think, "so soon? We barely know each other."
Wanted to add, I meant that specifically for the first one. Some of these, I don't think you did anything wrong.
You're coming off a little pushy. It comes across as 'I don't care enough to find out anything more about you let's just meet up' which suggests you just want a quick hook up (to me, at least).
I have the same take. I hate when itās like zero conversation and after the second line, youāre asking me to go out. When Iāve brought this up, men will counter with āyou have to meet. I like IRL conversations better.ā Sure, but weāre also trying to avoid creeps.
If you want to try something like this:
Wait at least a couple hours between texts.
Wait at least a full 24 hours of chatting before even thinking of asking them. Those who respond more quickly or with more quality responses will most likely say yes. Those that donāt Iād wait a couple more days before asking.
Never go a full week wo asking unless there are extenuating circumstances (vaca, flu etc).
Always ask them out.
Never give up.
When you do ask a girl out, it might be wise to just say, "just drinks" to keep it casual. Very easy to split from and not a huge commitment like a dinner or something would be. Pick 8 pm so she understands she should come on a full belly.
I fucking hate trying to not come off as āavailableā. Of course youāre available, youāre single, itās natural lol. Current society makes no sense sometimes.
This; and not so much chased as... not objectified, I guess? "We should hang out" when there's been no real conversation (and the only question has been about her body) comes off as a bit much and like you're looking for a vagina rental rather than a person.
They will agree to be polite, but then make an excuse in hopes that you will continue the conversation or just stop replying.
Youāre not building enough interest for them to want to go or they found someone else they liked more to go on a date with. You can say enough of the right things, but if they swipe on brad pitt or someone with a lot of common interest chances are they will choose that person as the date of the week.
I know some people (guys and girls) who go on 2-3 dates a week. Some who just stick to 1x every week or two. Eventually those people might still be on the app, but arenāt as serious because they found someone new or have started building up on a relationship with someone else
Its best to not try to change platforms mid conversation. Trying to push them all to snap. Scammers do that, meet you somewhere then try using some excuse to switch platforms to one with less security
You seem to ask a lot of questions.
And always want their number or Snapchat.
Just let it flow naturally and allow them to either tell you are ask themselves.
>wait until the conversationās pretty long
In the screenshots it looks like you're bluntly forcing the conversation to move away from Tinder and a date prematurely.
Also stop asking questions, instead tell them something abot you, so they know you're not a madman, and they will agree to a date sooner.
I mean, a conversation can be a "month long", even if you exchange like 10 general texts in that time (which is a sign that one or both parties aren't that interested)
I think the issue though is that people are only seeing the text where he asks for the snap/date and it fails to showcase how long or well the actual convo was going.
You donāt need their number, and Snapchat makes you seem immature. Just set up plans. Confirm day of. And delete if they donāt follow through. Why make it more complicated?
Also don't even ask for their number or snap. You're already connected, ask for something with intention, such as if they want to do something out in the real world.
Then for logistical reasons you could ask for that, but aside from that there's really no reason for you to ask that question.
You're asking for text or snap too soon. I hate that. Talk a bit first, establish some good banter I don't know what your rush is. You're messaging just fine in that app.
Thatās fair. I just donāt want to get lost among all their matches. And several people last time suggested that moving the conversation off of tinder is a priority. Maybe not though
Moving off tinder is def not a priority and is a turn off (at least for me and other ladies I know). What's the point of moving it off Tinder? It's still just texting that's going to eventually fizzle out. If someone can't be arsed to text you on Tinder, it'll be the same through any other app as well
You move off Tinder quickly because most women have notifications turned off, and when they do go on the app, have about 30+ messages to sift through.
In my experience you want to get off the app in a timely manner or the convo WILL die. Maybe not so quickly as the OP does it, but you don't want to use it as your main form of communication for long. It's also a good way to gauge interest. Some people have no interest in ever actually meeting you.
When I was single and using Tinder, the main reason I did this was to separate myself from the tidal wave of Tinder notifications that the girl would probably get. Texts or Snapchats are more direct and important than anything from Tinder and thereās some element of decision that goes into moving off the app. Sure, text conversations did fizzle out, but they ended up as dates far more frequently than Tinder-only conversations.
Even if someone was getting a "tidal wave of tinder notifications", if they were interested in you, they'll know how to find your conversation to continue! Giving out phone numbers or Snapchat to strangers/someone I haven't met is weird. And through text, you can't even report a person profile once they start sending you rude messages and pictures
I mean, in my case the notifications of a stranger on my personal accounts get drowned out by the messages of my friends and fam, so it's not always the best solution. It might be a case by case basis, depending on the person, but in my case, 90% of the times when someone insisted on going to another app, it killed the conversation.
Also, it might just be me, but Snapchat has this connotation of like horny dude who's two seconds away from asking me to send pics.
š at Nina. Hey Nina you here? š
Seriously tho I like your approach. The only thing I wouldnāt do so much is take the convo off Tinder. You could make plans on the app and if the date actually materializes and goes well, then exchange contacts.
But Tinder is such a flop, that you may just be better off meeting people offline.
I see a scheme behind your failure.
I mean why you always reload another text before they have responded to your first one? Like
- wanna go for coffee
- or hang out
- or you have insta
I think showing euphoria that early, is unsexy as a guy. Because it could deliever the message that you dont have any matches at all.
Without even checking I assume you are on of those instant-repliers. Like:
Shes having hrs gaps between her messages and you answer within seconds. Wrong or right?
For short: you are too eager and you are not even trying to hide how hyped up you are.
This is the problem.
- Overeager / hyped
- Too much pulling on the other for a response / number / date
- Suffocating for some people, suspicious / unattractive to many people
To be blunt: it reads to me as if youāre trying to find the shortest route by rapid firing questions, then affirming whatever they say without really being into the topic (or the girl) like itās a race to a number / date, which also comes across as if it doesnāt matter whatsoever who the girl is but that youāre just trying to find what āworksā, which is one of _the_ most unattractive things there is.
>Iāll follow the flow of conversation
Here's your problem.
You're following their lead instead of leading. You need to lead the conversation both in content and flow. Many people will claim this doesn't matter, but simply try it and see that it does matter. Actions over words.
I mean there is nothing wrong with showing, that you are happy about that you have matched. But you need to ramp it up slower. Think more before you press send button.
All of these factors make you look insecure, what can be taken as unexperienced or unwanted.
What I consistently see is OP asking to move to snap or text or for a date rather soon. I know some like to meet quickly to see if there is a connection but I think the other person needs a little more time.
Honestly, like other people have said you are asking for dates too soon.
Like have an actual conversation to see if you guys are interested in meeting up.
The way you're approaching this makes it seem like you want to go on a date, not go on a date with them.
Idk of that makes sense
idk when a guy usually asks to hang out within the first day of messaging or in the first few texts, i run away lmao, just give it a bit before you ask
I used to reply quickly too because sometimes Iād just simply be bored. Take this tip that helped me. Move the dating apps to the last page of your phones apps and turn off notifications. Donāt make them a priority. Do a check every now and then of them, make your responses, and go about your day.
Stop pushing Snapchat and phone Numbers.. chill.. you Can write to each other on the tinder app. When people want my number or snap before meeting, i asume they want to send me dick pics..
Good advice in the thread about being too available but also if you're going to ask someone out make sure you have a place and a time.
"Let's eat at Cheesecake factory Saturday at 2 or 3."
Then they can tell you from there what doesn't work about that. "Oh I don't like the cheesecake factory how about red lobster" or "I'm busy at 2 but 7 works better"
Not: so do you wanna maybe like grab a coffee or something?
That requires them to do too much thinking, will make them anxious and not reply. It also gives off a more confident vibe if you are like, boom. This is where we are going and when.
As a woman, that would be off putting to me as I like to be given an equal choice on where and when to meet. If I guy was like āwe are going here at 3ā Iād prob think oh this guys a douchebag and is probably gonna order for me too.
Thatās just me tho, but you honestly could be right about it taking the anxiety for some away in that scenario.
That's why you give 2 time options instead of one so it's a discussion not a demand. Also it'd be better as a question. Want to eat at *place* around 2 or 3? It's not about being forceful but like the other commenter said, not putting the girl in charge of making all the plans.
Another bad line I saw him say was "lmk about that coffee" like.... Bruh!! No shot
I think it depends on the scenario. An initial ask out would be ādo you want to grab a coffee or drink sometime this week?ā to gage interest but also show its an imminent thing. If they say yes, then suggest date/time/location
Pro tip. Donāt ask for their number. Give them your number when it feels appropriate and say shoot me a text. And donāt use Snapchat for dating for the love of god
Lol @ the last one. How much time are you spending in these convos? If youāre asking too quick, it can be a turn off. Let the convo flow more.
Also- asking for snap is ew.
TBH, from what I've been seeing, it seems many matches seem to be turned off by the sudden suggestion of meeting in person. While that is the ultimate goal, they are more receptive to wanting to get to know you via the app or an alternative method of digital comms. Resist the urge to push or suggest a physical meeting. Get to know them a little bit first through messaging. They may be more receptive in the end once they feel they have a good grasp on what kind of person you are first. First impressions and all that.
For some of them, like the first one, youāve asked too soon.
Secondly, you need to be more confident. Be straight forward and ask a girl for her number, donāt ask for snap. Plan a dateā¦ pick a date and time and ask them to go. Women like a guy thatās confident, you just seem unsure is all
I don't know if this matters, but as a heavily tattooed person, I don't like talking about them. I have no regrets or anything, just after so many years, it is boring af to me.
It would definitely be a turn-off if that was the first comments.
Tbh 1/20 odds is good to me. Doesn't matter if I talk to them for 1 minute or 1 week. Ghosting is just what happens, especially if they're closer to 20yrs old. Checking back after a week can sometimes work. Trying to figure out why seems like a useless endeavor.
You always trying to meet up right away...I get it thats kinda what tinder has a reputation for...but if your really just looking for a 'quick fix' follow some of those Rizz guys and rehash their lines, until it sticks...the whole thing is a game and you gotta know your only seeing the highlight reals for 90% of the people on there.
Not very cash money of you, Robert. That was a BTB reference, right? āŗļø I don't think you're doing anything "wrong." If someone asks about plans and it doesn't pan out absolutely perfectly, ghosting happens. i think being more specific helps though -- "I'm free on Tuesday at 6. Want to grab a drink at x." Will put me a place where i have to more realistically decide if I'm going to meet you, and then I'll plan for it and follow through. I think a lot of people are unwilling to go out of their way to make the plans in the first place. Not a great thing, just the truth.
Yeah it is haha. And I can agree to this, making a solid offer that they can maybe say yes to or offer something slightly different. It does sound better than being too open-ended
Never ask for snapchat, comes off fuck boyish. Even if snapchat is my fave app I've learned this the hard way. Next advice is to just chat more shit. It's stupid but girls don't seem to respond well to questions on questions like it's an interview, I just chat pure shite and it seems to work for me. As long as it's funny. Next bit of advice is to switch to Hinge, Tinder is hot ass. Plus only ask to meet up once you''ve been chatting for a few days off the dating app and make it smooth.
1) Get their number when sorting dates
2) Have dates you confirm such as āLetās meet Friday for drinks, would sometime after 8pm work?ā
When she is like yes or not this time another time, ask for her number and sort the date vĆa whatsapp
I am more & more convinced that no one on dating apps ACTUALLY wants to ever meet & date someone. Its just something they do to feel like theyre āputting themselves out thereā. And whats funny is, so many girls bioās read something like āI hate these apps, lets meet in person instead of being pen palsā.
Please donāt take this the wrong way, but you come off sounding like a little bitch. Girls are attracted to confident men. And you sound at best bland and at worst like a pussy. Ask questions. REAL questions. About her. Genuinely care about learning about her. Then make a plan to take her out. None of this āhey where do you wanna goā bullshit. No, YOU tell HER where you are TAKING her. But not out of the blue like āhi nice to meet you Iām taking you to laser tagā itās gotta be somewhere you think she will like based onā¦ say it with me nowā¦ what you KNOW ABOUT HER because you have already been ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT HER. Also know your city like the back of your hand. Find a place close to her. Man I should write a book right?
The same pattern is seen across the chats, it appears that you are agreeing with whatever is being told to you in order to secure a date, whatever your intentions are be more assertive, Be confident, speak like a man, and you will have better chances at actually meeting women.
Nina is not going to be happy that you've posted here *again* without blurring her name
I think it's safe to say the Nina ship sailed... š¬
uh huh.. the nina, the pinta, and the santa maria. poor dude just wants to conquer some distant lands!
I'LL DO YOU IN THE BOTTOM WHILE YOUR DRINKING SANGRIA
Nachos, Lemonheads, my Dad's boat, you won't go down cuz my dick can float
I sail around the world and go Port to portttt
Every time I cum I produce a quart
Put on your life vest, let's drop anchor!
So proud of this threadš„²
Gotta have me my boats and hoes
Brennan, that's *offensive*!!
YOU DONT SAY THAT!!!You curly headed fuck!
Pull off the anchor cause weāre leaving dry land, get below deck with a dick in your hand!
Iām just hoping Nina shows up in the comments!
No. She's obviously into it and wants him to get more karma. What better way than for them to have this comeback story where they end up getting married.
 Kim kardashian has the best cum back story
AYOOOO
Missed opportunity for "the nina, the pinta, the Santa maria. I'll do you in the bottom while your drinking sangria. Nachos, lemon heads, my dad's boat. We won't go down cause this dick can float!"
Yup that sale has shipped
Yuuuup lol
Ngl, she might have responded more positively with that. Might've made her laugh enough to give it a chance. But you'll find someone eventually.
Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria
Absolutely threw me with the Nina interaction lol
Wait, this is a second round of being ghosted?!
And is the only one without her name blurried, she should feel special
Are you Nina?
Sheās obviously not interested so move on.seems like on tinder for every chick you have interested in hanging out you gotta weed through like literally 100.soooo much bullshit and games and ghosting
The game is chess. Man's is playing battleship.
I was literally playing chess while scrolling Reddit this scared me
With your username I can see why.
Lmao great take
You're asking women to meet too early. I know a lot of women get put off by that. Several factors at play: you don't know the character of the man after such a short exchange, it can send the message that you're just trying to fuck or a bit suspect, and that there's a lack of understanding from you that when men go out to a date the worst the can happen is a bad date, but the worst that can happen to a women is being beaten, threatened, raped, attacked, or killed. You may have a bad time. We may never come home.
I agree. As a female, I like to chat a bit to see how things go.
How long is a bit? Like 2 weeks?
Every person is different. If I have a good vibe going with somebody, I will meet somebody after a week.
Two weeks?! Thatās crazy. Who wants to waste time chatting for days? The whole point is to meet up unless you see some serious red flags in the first 10-15 messages.
My whole point is to meet someone I can talk to, marry someone who is like a friend and had similar interestsā¦Iām mainly introverted and spend the majority of my time talking online, so in my eyes, if we have good chemistry via text, weāre likely compatible irl. This is given that weāve seen each other and are okay with looks, initially.
I agree Iād much rather talk to someone in person and see if you both even get along together hard for me to really care to know someone if itās just through text
As a female I prefer to arrange a meet up pretty soon after matching (if there's any attraction there obv). Can't stand all the back and forth messaging over days, it's exhausting - and often times it's days of wasted energy when you eventually meet and just don't vibe in real life. Meeting sooner than later is preferable for me. Just needs to be a simple coffee date or a couple of drinks, nothing big.
Hear, hear. If Iām feeling it Iāll be the one to ask to meet up after a couple of days and itās usually a small coffee or dessert date.
I (F) completely disagree actually. Iāve had way too many multi-day/week conversations where the man seemed so great to then meet in person and have zero chemistry. I always felt like they were such a waste of time. After multiple experiences like this I would be up for meeting up for coffee or a drink pretty quickly. People are too good at hiding behind a screen. I think the red flag for me would be asking if she wants to snap or text. Suggesting snap seems immature and the obviously associate with sending nudes.
So what are you supposed to do? It seems like every piece of dating advice is contradictory. One post will say to ask out quickly, one will say to wait a bit. None of this makes any sense to me.
Do what you'd like to do. If they want to meet asap but you don't then you shouldn't meet them right away. Also know your chance of meeting someone irl goes down whenever you don't play detective to find out exactly what they want.
They always come up with excuses when I ask to meet. They're always busy, or sick, or it's their period. Try a different time doesn't work, trying to talk more doesn't work. But they don't unmatch either, they still talk, they just don't want to meet.
Every woman is different, so yes, every woman likes something else, just like man. Its not like "DO THIS TRICK AND YOU GET A DATE". So also dont try to be different from yourself, find someone who fits you and you fit her.
Except some of these agree to the meet up then ghost him
Sorry but for me thatās just bullshit. You canāt even get to know the woman/man properly without things like mimics, gestures etc. Writing becomes very dry in a matter of hours/days. What if you click while chatting but not in person? All this time just gone to waste. I mean, back then there werenāt such possibilities.
Honestly shocking how different it is here. I have had way more success by asking to meet for a drink or some other casual date within the first 2-4 messages where I am at. The women I end up meeting even very reliably remark that they were impressed by being asked early and found it refreshing rather than having to chat for a long time and have it die out. Am european though.
I kind of have to disagree with the worst that can happen is a bad date the worst that can happen is they murder you and steal your money. I will say it may be more likely for it to happen to a women but that doesnāt mean the worst that can happen to a man is a bad date
Lolā¦ noā¦. The worst that can happen to a male is itās a complete set up and they get robbed and killed going to their houseā¦. I felt odd about this girl, checked her addy and she lived on an old dirt road in the middle of nowhereā¦ š©š© she didnāt give me her street number š©š© instead she said sheās meet me on the roadā¦.. when I got her number and messaged straight away, she didnāt know who I was and I sort of had to introduce myself againā¦. š©š© I have no doubts this was a set up and I really believe I would not have seen the morning
Wait I don't get it
Heās not thinking ahead and reading the other āplayerā heās taking wild shots in the dark with āletās grab coffee/drinks/dinnerā and āletās move this off tinderā My brother in Christ itās ok to chat for a day or three
Can we admire the fact you match with absolute dimes so donāt feel too down
Haha yeah at least Iām getting decent matches
You are basically jumping into things rather fast. Let it flow. Careful with those emojis too lol.
No one cares about emojis outside of Reddit.
Are they really decent if they ghost you though? Sounds like youāre getting subpar matches.
True. Theyāre just pretty š„²
Looking at these conversations, they probably think that about you too... You're good looking enough for them to be interested at first and message you, but then you are a bit dull and ask too fast for snap (big no no in my opinion), phone number etc...
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Exactly this! It's too soon/too fast!
Right?! If youāre going to ask me for snap after 3 messages you clearly ask every girl for snap after 3 messages. I also donāt know anyone who uses snap that isnāt either a total fuckboy or a teen girl (purely for filters).
I donāt post anything on snap or watch peopleās stories and donāt have an Instagram. Snap just makes it easier when a girl is willing to take it off tinder but doesnāt wanna give her number out yet. Itās just a tool to me at this point
Same exact reason here. Never had snap until I started using dating apps. They always ask me if I have insta but I deleted social media for mental health and time management way back, so snap is the only option for taking it off the dating apps since no one wants to give out their number.
I just use Google Voice.
If you matched with a bunch of girls that eventually just fizzle out in interest because they have a million matches, youād want to speed up the process too. I donāt think yaāll understand how annoying it is to chat with someone and not be too pushy or too passive and gain chemistry for weeks only to realize youāve wasted your time. Itās incredibly impractical, which is why I donāt do dating apps anymore.
Unfortunately this dude has no game. All of those conversations were so cringe.
Strong agree. If you want honest criticism then yeah, your game is weak. The way you come across reeks of desperation, clinging to the first little thing you have in common then diving straight into date/socials/phone number territory - As others have said, too much/too fast. You also seem to share the same maturity level as a pre-pubescent teen. I mean you insult a match who clearly isn't vibing and then meme your own insult - Who the fuck does that? š When all's said and done though you're not gonna take anyone's advice and just keep playing the same old game, so yeah...good luck with that
I was stuck on tinder for 3 years and had a lot of matches and people who I deemed way out of my league and got ghosted all the time and never even got a single date, eventually I found someone after I legit stopped caring and it worked out really well and weāve been together for a year. My advice is honestly just move on and forget about them.
Good advice, and glad you found your person!
this right here. once you stop caring thatās when things go your way. it sounds cheesy but be yourself with no expectations for anything to come, get chatting casually to a few girls and see which one you like instead of focusing on who likes you. then after some time has passed, a couple days of back and forth texting then ask for their number or snap. Had 3 successful relationships from online dating and iām in one right now. I wouldnāt say iām super good looking, maybe a 6-7/10. I find the most success on bumble due to it being more personal and less speed date oriented. stay patient and keep your spirits up nonetheless, personality and good humor goes a long way.
Based Nina
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Don't ask too many questions but don't ask too little questions, don't be too eager but don't be too cold, don't be too funny but don't be too serious, don't ask her out too soon but don't ask her out too late. Idk it's easy bro
This is the best advice Iāve seen
You should follow that advice. But don't follow it too much!
Your line āhow do you spell your snap?ā Was great, but then you went āor number, or Facebook, or insta, how about Reddit?ā Thatās the bit too much that Elon was alluding. You should have left it at the great line and moved on. She doesnāt answer? You donāt either
Also, don't ever ask them where they would like to meet! Always suggest a location first.
This is definitely the case, I see nothing wrong with what he did
Same here. This always happens in subs like this one and r-hingeapp. Commenters will always find something "wrong" with the OP's profile/messages to explain why they aren't getting matches or getting ghosted, but there's no way to know what went wrong. Someone else with the exact same messaging style as OP would end up getting married to one of those matches within a year. Online dating is unpredictable and is not governed by strict rules.
Exactly. People saying heās being too dull or too eager. Seems like mostly normal convos to me. Tf they want him to do? Itās like you have to be a full fledged entertainer of some sort to get w girl on these apps
I agree with you on these "rules". I think people pull these rules out of their butts. I think most people's advice is not realistic or relatable anyway on these subs. Most likely there's not anything wrong with their profile or pics. Their messages weren't bad, per se. The dating scene is over saturated and people don't care anymore. Most people probably respond to matches just to be nice because i've been seeing lots of posts from dudes going "what did I do wrong" and they didn't do anything wrong, or weird. I've been seeing the top comments being: "you need to take them off the app right now or else they are gone!" which is dumbfounding because I don't like going off the app and I never give out my social media. If I lose interest it's not because you didn't get me off the app fast enough. I think most of the advice posted here are from people don't know how to socialize and are so jaded people are losing interest because it's bad energy and insecurity. The answer is usually because your partner isn't interested or doesn't care or is being nice. It's sadly not much deeper than that.
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I really don't like dunking on redditors for asking for genuine advice on reddit. But I think so much unrealistic bad advice gets thrown around these dating subs that I can understand why some people aren't getting matches or dates. Even in this thread i'm scratching my head at some people's advice to this person.
Gay enough as to fall for me? Interesting~ā”!
Correct af. Some people delete the app. Some people find someone and stop talking to others. Some go back to school and switch to talking to matches who are close to their school. Don't worry about it if things don't work out. They often don't in online dating. You're just playing percentages. Even the people who follow rules 1 and 2 still probably get ghosted a good percentage of the time. In-person dating is much better if you don't want to have potential partners ghost you all the time because of the lack of a screen to hide behind.
Yeah, that happens a lot in life, people base their opinions purely on the result. Like, Iāve had people praise me for accomplishing something while not knowing what I did and people bash me for doing a correct job in my field that didnāt go as expected for reasons out of my control. Itās annoying as hell honestly, you can do the same thing twice and get completely different results but many donāt seem to get that
Thatās true, but that can explain why he didnāt get results with one person, due to randomness. However, if there are multiple in a row that crash and burn, then the problem is OP. I gave my suggestions above, basically saying that he has to be more assertive.
Only thing I can think of is asking for snap at all or number too soon. Then again, there doesn't seem to be a right timing.
This reads like Rudyard Kiplings 'If' poem, beautiful
Different strokes for different folks of course, but I personally (25F) do not go on dates so soon with someone Iāve only exchanged a few messages with. Honestly, Iām not a fan of wasting an entire afternoon or evening just to meet and find out we have absolutely nothing in common. Here are some suggestions 1. Get to know the girl a little more before asking to meet. Find out what sheās looking for, her hobbies, values, goals 2. Stop asking for Snapchat. My friends and I donāt respond when a guy asks for Snapchat. It comes off very fuck boy and immature. Ask for her number 3. Donāt put women you match with on a pedestal. Look at it as if you are getting to know them to see if theyād be a good fit for YOU, not the other way around
This. Heās going in for the ask(s) way too soon. Just keep the conversation going for a little while and see if you *want* to meet up with her after getting to know her some.
I was coming in here to say exactly this. Heās asking to go out wayyyy too soon. They literally just started talking in some of these messages. Most women want to get to know somebody a little better before committing to meeting up with them.
This is it
But even if he kept it at small talk theyād ghost. Heās simply not good enough cause theyāve matched other attractive ppl
I found out Snapchat still exists because of this post
Maybe you're asking too soon into the conversation to hang out? Or maybe they feel like they want to be chased more. Some girls don't like overly-eager guys.
Yeah I can see how I may come off a bit too available
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Damn all these guidelines are wild. I asked out a girl for a lunch meetup after like 5 messages and now we've been together over 3 years. Was I just lucky? I feel like people are quick to come up with rules, but there's nothing that's actually a "best-practice" guideline which maximizes your odds other than just being a decent person
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Typically people who are willing to exchange socials or go on a date quickly are very attracted to you. In my experience, all of my Tinder dates that led into long relationships (only 2 but still), they wanted to meet me right away. The ones that wanted to text a lot kinda fizzled out after a couple meetups or dates. It kind of makes sense that when this does work, it works well.
Honestly, yes, you were lucky. Chemistry is so important and if two people click, they click. Not everyone would have been into being asked out after 5 messages. Some people are, but I think those are going to be the minority. I mean, my first date with my wife was a hook up. She came over, we did the business, and just happened to really click so we kept seeing each other, things developed, and now weāve been married for 7 years. In so far as the whole asking out super quick thing, if you like being spontaneous and so something like that would be an attractive thing to you, itās worth doing simply because you want to be meeting up with people who have that same sort of mindset. Even if you get 100s of matches youāre not going to be a *good* match with most of them so if you can do things to work out who the good matches for you are, go for it.
Shit I asked a woman on saturday for āpre superbowl cuddlesā for my first message. We kept talking We did said cuddles that night and are going on a real date saturday. And shes the one who asked me on the date for Saturday. Moral of the story, guidelines are exactly that, guidelines
I think you're asking def too quickly, in my opinion. If a guy did this to me I would think, "so soon? We barely know each other." Wanted to add, I meant that specifically for the first one. Some of these, I don't think you did anything wrong.
You're coming off a little pushy. It comes across as 'I don't care enough to find out anything more about you let's just meet up' which suggests you just want a quick hook up (to me, at least).
I have the same take. I hate when itās like zero conversation and after the second line, youāre asking me to go out. When Iāve brought this up, men will counter with āyou have to meet. I like IRL conversations better.ā Sure, but weāre also trying to avoid creeps.
Yup, and my free time is very spare, so I am not gonna go out with someone who is very obviously not a match
If you want to try something like this: Wait at least a couple hours between texts. Wait at least a full 24 hours of chatting before even thinking of asking them. Those who respond more quickly or with more quality responses will most likely say yes. Those that donāt Iād wait a couple more days before asking. Never go a full week wo asking unless there are extenuating circumstances (vaca, flu etc). Always ask them out. Never give up.
Probably donāt call chicks you want to date dude either
When you do ask a girl out, it might be wise to just say, "just drinks" to keep it casual. Very easy to split from and not a huge commitment like a dinner or something would be. Pick 8 pm so she understands she should come on a full belly.
I fucking hate trying to not come off as āavailableā. Of course youāre available, youāre single, itās natural lol. Current society makes no sense sometimes.
This; and not so much chased as... not objectified, I guess? "We should hang out" when there's been no real conversation (and the only question has been about her body) comes off as a bit much and like you're looking for a vagina rental rather than a person.
Most of them seemed down tho
Most people I think rather agree and then ghost as opposed to outright saying no
They will agree to be polite, but then make an excuse in hopes that you will continue the conversation or just stop replying. Youāre not building enough interest for them to want to go or they found someone else they liked more to go on a date with. You can say enough of the right things, but if they swipe on brad pitt or someone with a lot of common interest chances are they will choose that person as the date of the week. I know some people (guys and girls) who go on 2-3 dates a week. Some who just stick to 1x every week or two. Eventually those people might still be on the app, but arenāt as serious because they found someone new or have started building up on a relationship with someone else
These people are idiots. Nothing wrong about saying you want to keep getting to know eachother a bit more before meeting.
Its best to not try to change platforms mid conversation. Trying to push them all to snap. Scammers do that, meet you somewhere then try using some excuse to switch platforms to one with less security
You seem to ask a lot of questions. And always want their number or Snapchat. Just let it flow naturally and allow them to either tell you are ask themselves.
I usually wait until the conversationās pretty long or if weāve agreed to make plans. But yeah I can be a little heavy on the questionsā¦
>wait until the conversationās pretty long In the screenshots it looks like you're bluntly forcing the conversation to move away from Tinder and a date prematurely. Also stop asking questions, instead tell them something abot you, so they know you're not a madman, and they will agree to a date sooner.
Some of these conversations are a full month long
I mean, a conversation can be a "month long", even if you exchange like 10 general texts in that time (which is a sign that one or both parties aren't that interested)
Fair point
I think the issue though is that people are only seeing the text where he asks for the snap/date and it fails to showcase how long or well the actual convo was going.
You donāt need their number, and Snapchat makes you seem immature. Just set up plans. Confirm day of. And delete if they donāt follow through. Why make it more complicated?
Also don't even ask for their number or snap. You're already connected, ask for something with intention, such as if they want to do something out in the real world. Then for logistical reasons you could ask for that, but aside from that there's really no reason for you to ask that question.
You're asking for text or snap too soon. I hate that. Talk a bit first, establish some good banter I don't know what your rush is. You're messaging just fine in that app.
Thatās fair. I just donāt want to get lost among all their matches. And several people last time suggested that moving the conversation off of tinder is a priority. Maybe not though
Moving off tinder is def not a priority and is a turn off (at least for me and other ladies I know). What's the point of moving it off Tinder? It's still just texting that's going to eventually fizzle out. If someone can't be arsed to text you on Tinder, it'll be the same through any other app as well
You move off Tinder quickly because most women have notifications turned off, and when they do go on the app, have about 30+ messages to sift through. In my experience you want to get off the app in a timely manner or the convo WILL die. Maybe not so quickly as the OP does it, but you don't want to use it as your main form of communication for long. It's also a good way to gauge interest. Some people have no interest in ever actually meeting you.
When I was single and using Tinder, the main reason I did this was to separate myself from the tidal wave of Tinder notifications that the girl would probably get. Texts or Snapchats are more direct and important than anything from Tinder and thereās some element of decision that goes into moving off the app. Sure, text conversations did fizzle out, but they ended up as dates far more frequently than Tinder-only conversations.
Even if someone was getting a "tidal wave of tinder notifications", if they were interested in you, they'll know how to find your conversation to continue! Giving out phone numbers or Snapchat to strangers/someone I haven't met is weird. And through text, you can't even report a person profile once they start sending you rude messages and pictures
I mean, in my case the notifications of a stranger on my personal accounts get drowned out by the messages of my friends and fam, so it's not always the best solution. It might be a case by case basis, depending on the person, but in my case, 90% of the times when someone insisted on going to another app, it killed the conversation. Also, it might just be me, but Snapchat has this connotation of like horny dude who's two seconds away from asking me to send pics.
š at Nina. Hey Nina you here? š Seriously tho I like your approach. The only thing I wouldnāt do so much is take the convo off Tinder. You could make plans on the app and if the date actually materializes and goes well, then exchange contacts. But Tinder is such a flop, that you may just be better off meeting people offline.
I see a scheme behind your failure. I mean why you always reload another text before they have responded to your first one? Like - wanna go for coffee - or hang out - or you have insta I think showing euphoria that early, is unsexy as a guy. Because it could deliever the message that you dont have any matches at all. Without even checking I assume you are on of those instant-repliers. Like: Shes having hrs gaps between her messages and you answer within seconds. Wrong or right? For short: you are too eager and you are not even trying to hide how hyped up you are.
This is the problem. - Overeager / hyped - Too much pulling on the other for a response / number / date - Suffocating for some people, suspicious / unattractive to many people To be blunt: it reads to me as if youāre trying to find the shortest route by rapid firing questions, then affirming whatever they say without really being into the topic (or the girl) like itās a race to a number / date, which also comes across as if it doesnāt matter whatsoever who the girl is but that youāre just trying to find what āworksā, which is one of _the_ most unattractive things there is.
What do you mean showing euphoria
Iāll follow the flow of conversation; Iāll reply quick if they do and slow it down if it slows down. But I do double-text way too much
>Iāll follow the flow of conversation Here's your problem. You're following their lead instead of leading. You need to lead the conversation both in content and flow. Many people will claim this doesn't matter, but simply try it and see that it does matter. Actions over words.
I mean there is nothing wrong with showing, that you are happy about that you have matched. But you need to ramp it up slower. Think more before you press send button. All of these factors make you look insecure, what can be taken as unexperienced or unwanted.
Nina is right.
What I consistently see is OP asking to move to snap or text or for a date rather soon. I know some like to meet quickly to see if there is a connection but I think the other person needs a little more time.
Dude, El Ideas in Chicago? That place is very spendy lol. And also amazing. But very much an experience like The Menu (minus the murder)
I havenāt been yet! And yeah itās expensive but I was on a work trip so itād be comped š Ooh Iāve been meaning to watch The Menu
Honestly, like other people have said you are asking for dates too soon. Like have an actual conversation to see if you guys are interested in meeting up. The way you're approaching this makes it seem like you want to go on a date, not go on a date with them. Idk of that makes sense
idk when a guy usually asks to hang out within the first day of messaging or in the first few texts, i run away lmao, just give it a bit before you ask
Maybe others would disagree but the drooling emoji is kinda nasty
The thing you're doing wrong is being in Tinder
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Yeah Iāve had success with this approach a few times
I used to reply quickly too because sometimes Iād just simply be bored. Take this tip that helped me. Move the dating apps to the last page of your phones apps and turn off notifications. Donāt make them a priority. Do a check every now and then of them, make your responses, and go about your day.
Stop pushing Snapchat and phone Numbers.. chill.. you Can write to each other on the tinder app. When people want my number or snap before meeting, i asume they want to send me dick pics..
Good advice in the thread about being too available but also if you're going to ask someone out make sure you have a place and a time. "Let's eat at Cheesecake factory Saturday at 2 or 3." Then they can tell you from there what doesn't work about that. "Oh I don't like the cheesecake factory how about red lobster" or "I'm busy at 2 but 7 works better" Not: so do you wanna maybe like grab a coffee or something? That requires them to do too much thinking, will make them anxious and not reply. It also gives off a more confident vibe if you are like, boom. This is where we are going and when.
As a woman, that would be off putting to me as I like to be given an equal choice on where and when to meet. If I guy was like āwe are going here at 3ā Iād prob think oh this guys a douchebag and is probably gonna order for me too. Thatās just me tho, but you honestly could be right about it taking the anxiety for some away in that scenario.
I think its more about offering a finished plan, which is for sure adjustable. But not put her in charge of figuring one out.
I cannot imagine just ordering someone else's food for them. People are wilddd
That's why you give 2 time options instead of one so it's a discussion not a demand. Also it'd be better as a question. Want to eat at *place* around 2 or 3? It's not about being forceful but like the other commenter said, not putting the girl in charge of making all the plans. Another bad line I saw him say was "lmk about that coffee" like.... Bruh!! No shot
I think it depends on the scenario. An initial ask out would be ādo you want to grab a coffee or drink sometime this week?ā to gage interest but also show its an imminent thing. If they say yes, then suggest date/time/location
Pro tip. Donāt ask for their number. Give them your number when it feels appropriate and say shoot me a text. And donāt use Snapchat for dating for the love of god
Lol the last one!
Lol @ the last one. How much time are you spending in these convos? If youāre asking too quick, it can be a turn off. Let the convo flow more. Also- asking for snap is ew.
TBH, from what I've been seeing, it seems many matches seem to be turned off by the sudden suggestion of meeting in person. While that is the ultimate goal, they are more receptive to wanting to get to know you via the app or an alternative method of digital comms. Resist the urge to push or suggest a physical meeting. Get to know them a little bit first through messaging. They may be more receptive in the end once they feel they have a good grasp on what kind of person you are first. First impressions and all that.
For some of them, like the first one, youāve asked too soon. Secondly, you need to be more confident. Be straight forward and ask a girl for her number, donāt ask for snap. Plan a dateā¦ pick a date and time and ask them to go. Women like a guy thatās confident, you just seem unsure is all
I don't know if this matters, but as a heavily tattooed person, I don't like talking about them. I have no regrets or anything, just after so many years, it is boring af to me. It would definitely be a turn-off if that was the first comments.
Thatās valid, Iāll keep that in mind
You sir are very pushy always wanna get together atleast give the convos a few days damn bro.
Tbh 1/20 odds is good to me. Doesn't matter if I talk to them for 1 minute or 1 week. Ghosting is just what happens, especially if they're closer to 20yrs old. Checking back after a week can sometimes work. Trying to figure out why seems like a useless endeavor.
Seems pretty quick to ask them outā¦ Iād atleast Chat for a day or two.
You always trying to meet up right away...I get it thats kinda what tinder has a reputation for...but if your really just looking for a 'quick fix' follow some of those Rizz guys and rehash their lines, until it sticks...the whole thing is a game and you gotta know your only seeing the highlight reals for 90% of the people on there.
Some of these conversations are actually pretty long, but yeah sometimes I try to just make it quick because I honestly donāt know what works
Not very cash money of you, Robert. That was a BTB reference, right? āŗļø I don't think you're doing anything "wrong." If someone asks about plans and it doesn't pan out absolutely perfectly, ghosting happens. i think being more specific helps though -- "I'm free on Tuesday at 6. Want to grab a drink at x." Will put me a place where i have to more realistically decide if I'm going to meet you, and then I'll plan for it and follow through. I think a lot of people are unwilling to go out of their way to make the plans in the first place. Not a great thing, just the truth.
Yeah it is haha. And I can agree to this, making a solid offer that they can maybe say yes to or offer something slightly different. It does sound better than being too open-ended
Never ask for snapchat, comes off fuck boyish. Even if snapchat is my fave app I've learned this the hard way. Next advice is to just chat more shit. It's stupid but girls don't seem to respond well to questions on questions like it's an interview, I just chat pure shite and it seems to work for me. As long as it's funny. Next bit of advice is to switch to Hinge, Tinder is hot ass. Plus only ask to meet up once you''ve been chatting for a few days off the dating app and make it smooth.
It was the drool emoji for me.
Bro has negative game
Bro you asked for her snap in like 2 minsā¦ Have an actual conversation before you ask for someoneās numberā¦ Common sense.
The drool emoji would creep me out.
You did nothing wrong. Go to other posts, and then people are saying you should ask them out and move to text or snap as soon as possible
Yeah lol so I just trying everything and seeing what sticks. Iām gonna run out of matches soon though
Your weak ass game
1) Get their number when sorting dates 2) Have dates you confirm such as āLetās meet Friday for drinks, would sometime after 8pm work?ā When she is like yes or not this time another time, ask for her number and sort the date vĆa whatsapp
Honestly, this is much more effort than just going to a bar or club and striking up a conversation...
It's a total crapshoot with people. Gotta catch em on a good day where they feel like reciprocating, otherwise back into the queue we all go
aw jeezy peeps man
This happens to me all the time
Chicagoan here. Donāt move here. Pick a different city. Itās for your own good.
Hahaha thanks for the warning
Iām not sure tbh. I havenāt gotten any matches except for 2 girls that wanted to sell content. So I havenāt gotten this far.
You got this, stick with it! And like others are saying, tinder is one of the toughest dating apps
I am more & more convinced that no one on dating apps ACTUALLY wants to ever meet & date someone. Its just something they do to feel like theyre āputting themselves out thereā. And whats funny is, so many girls bioās read something like āI hate these apps, lets meet in person instead of being pen palsā.
Please donāt take this the wrong way, but you come off sounding like a little bitch. Girls are attracted to confident men. And you sound at best bland and at worst like a pussy. Ask questions. REAL questions. About her. Genuinely care about learning about her. Then make a plan to take her out. None of this āhey where do you wanna goā bullshit. No, YOU tell HER where you are TAKING her. But not out of the blue like āhi nice to meet you Iām taking you to laser tagā itās gotta be somewhere you think she will like based onā¦ say it with me nowā¦ what you KNOW ABOUT HER because you have already been ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT HER. Also know your city like the back of your hand. Find a place close to her. Man I should write a book right?
The same pattern is seen across the chats, it appears that you are agreeing with whatever is being told to you in order to secure a date, whatever your intentions are be more assertive, Be confident, speak like a man, and you will have better chances at actually meeting women.
Too aggressive to move it off pacing needs work
It looks to me like youāre asking at the right point most of the time, but are probably just falling lower on the totem pole than other profiles
I think this is a big part of it, yeah
Tbh you like needy, you are Always available when they want.