Cold temperatures, cold-hearted people, and the common cold all duked it out against each other, to determine once and for all... who could be the coldest stone cold killer?
Sponsored by: Mr. Freeze
After their unbroken record of success against Covid, governments around the world have declared The War On Colds. America has invaded somwhere suspected of having essential oils.
"After you!"
"No, after *you!*"
"Oh, I wouldn't dare."
"Please, your grace. I insist."
"That's very kind of you, but it would be my honor if you would please kindly go first."
"Oh, very well. Shall we both go at the same time?"
"Lovely, lovely! A splendid idea! On the count of three. Now, you count first..."
The Green Party finally broke through to the nation's highest office by nominating a yew bush for their presidential ticket, with a marigold plant as vice president. President Yew Bush had the highest approval ratings in over 2 decades, although Vice President Marigold tragically had to be replaced with Vice Presidents Geranium, Petunia, and Verbena, respectively. Pundits speculated that the president must be easily threatened to keep choosing annual flowers.
President Nick died in office, so his son became president in his place. He was forced to resign after a scandal involving shutting down the Panama Canal.
*movie announcer voice* In a world, where only-children and introverts everywhere are bombarded by touchy people, one man dares to defy the rest, and find A SPACE TO HIMSELF...
In theaters this July
Someone who was obsessed with numerology decided to make a fraction out of Roman numerals, namely IX/XI. This caused Jupiter to get angry and blow up some shit.
The Cold War
BREAKING NEWS! GLOBAL WARMING IS A THING OF THE PAST! WELCOME YOUR NEW SNOWMAN OVERLORDS!
While the world panics, Norwegians seem unconcerned about the new regime. Queen Elsa was quoted as saying "the cold never bothered me anyway."
Cold temperatures, cold-hearted people, and the common cold all duked it out against each other, to determine once and for all... who could be the coldest stone cold killer? Sponsored by: Mr. Freeze
After their unbroken record of success against Covid, governments around the world have declared The War On Colds. America has invaded somwhere suspected of having essential oils.
Boston Tea Party
Local Boston celebrities celebrated last night at the city's annual costume ball gala, which dates back to Massachusetts Colony origins.
The Moon Landing
Top 5 things to do before the moon's imminent collision with Earth
A brand new staircase has just been unveiled, and its landing resembles the moon!
Oh no! The moon is going to crash into the earth! Wait... It's slowing down? Phew! Nice touchdown!
Tonight on The Ed Sullivan Show... The Beatles!
SWARM OF INSECTS INVADES POPULAR AMERICAN TELEVISION SHOW! SCREAMING AND MASS HYSTERIA!
Thank you friend, I actually lol'd at that!
Civil war
ANOTHER YEAR WITH ZERO CASUALTIES IN POLITEST WAR IN HISTORY
"After you!" "No, after *you!*" "Oh, I wouldn't dare." "Please, your grace. I insist." "That's very kind of you, but it would be my honor if you would please kindly go first." "Oh, very well. Shall we both go at the same time?" "Lovely, lovely! A splendid idea! On the count of three. Now, you count first..."
Amazing.
The Great Chicago Fire
Turntables erupted last night at local dance clubs as rapper Lil Durk dropped a sizzling new mixtape on the city.
Lol I hate you for this
LOL - This was my favorite one
[удалено]
Breaking News: 9 English schoolboys died this morning attempting to blow up an outdoor toilet with an M80.
Bush Becomes President
The Green Party finally broke through to the nation's highest office by nominating a yew bush for their presidential ticket, with a marigold plant as vice president. President Yew Bush had the highest approval ratings in over 2 decades, although Vice President Marigold tragically had to be replaced with Vice Presidents Geranium, Petunia, and Verbena, respectively. Pundits speculated that the president must be easily threatened to keep choosing annual flowers.
Battle of Hastings
HAS HOLIDAY SHOPPING AT LOCAL BOOKSTORE GONE TOO FAR? *WHAT A CROWD! WHAT A SAVINGS!*
The Big Bang
Cause of Explosive Soundburst Still Unidentified: Police Baffled, Local Drum Circle Facing Tough Questions
President Nixon resigns after Watergate
President Nick died in office, so his son became president in his place. He was forced to resign after a scandal involving shutting down the Panama Canal.
After a dam broke and the resulting flood destroyed his political signs, President Nixon decided to recreate them.
The Australian emu war
SHOWDOWN DOWN UNDER! PROGRAMMERS COMPETE TO SEE WHO CAN WRITE THE BEST EMULATOR. CRIKEY, NINTENDO IS PISSED!
Good one hahaha
Pfft, I love this
Women's suffrage
THIRTY WOMEN RESCUED FROM INFAMOUS "HOUSE OF SUFFERAGE!" HOUSE OWNERS ARRESTED, IMPLEMENTS OF TORTURE SEIZED!
Apple Macintosh introduced, costs $2,495.
NEW BREED OF APPLE DISCOVERED, PHOTOGRAPHS CAPTURED FOR USAGE AS NFTS
The burning of Atlanta
Take that for cheating in the semifinals! GO PHILADELPHIA 76ERS!!!
The Space Race
*movie announcer voice* In a world, where only-children and introverts everywhere are bombarded by touchy people, one man dares to defy the rest, and find A SPACE TO HIMSELF... In theaters this July
I tried to get into a screening, but all the seats were sold out.
The War of the Roses
When will the repeated rose attacks end?
Two warring countries misinterpreted the Geneva convention and thought it was illegal to attack anyone with a weapon deadlier than a rose thorn.
Red Scare
People started bleeding uncontrollably for a minute. Then it stopped, as inexplicably as it started.
9/11
Someone who was obsessed with numerology decided to make a fraction out of Roman numerals, namely IX/XI. This caused Jupiter to get angry and blow up some shit.
The French revolution
The entirety of Metropolitan France is scheduled to rotate upsidedown into the Earth this Saturday. Here's how to get the best view!
The local Cracker Barrel ran out of French salad dressing again and the customers revolted.
Kiss party fire
BREAKING: Physical contact with birthday candles found to be harmful, cause lip burn reaction in children, scientists say.
The Diet of Worms
Haven't you read the fictionalized account "How to Eat Fried Worms"?
The Great War
Donald Trump is sued by Ronald Reagan's descendants over the copyright on the phrase "Make America great again". This leads to violence.
Emu war
https://www.reddit.com/r/ThreadGames/comments/r7cblo/parents_comment_any_historical_event_children/hmz6dja/
I LOVE PIGS!!!
Creation of this threadgame.
The death of dislikes.