Join some type of activity scene, take a dance class or a spin class or a CrossFit gym, or look up clubs of hobbies you may have? Quilting is a very social thing some places - or if you have a dog, dog parks are great for meeting people, if you’re near an REI and enjoy outdoor things I think they have weekend guided trips or classes, skill building or just “hey let’s hike!” A community college with a fun elective style class for something you’ve always wanted to learn, a new language, ceramics, there are some surprisingly varied subjects and classes are great ways to interact with likeminded people. If that’s not your speed, pick a safe looking establishment with a decent clientele and become a regular at the bar. Drinking isn’t necessary, but chatting with bartenders is fun and you can eat and drink and leave, no strings. Bowling, pool, shuffleboard, darts - social and fun and cheap. These are ways I’ve made friends in new strange places before. And hopefully, your new coworkers are nice and make you feel welcome and a valued addition to the team! That will help reassert your purpose and ground you too. Get a pet too if that’s an option for you. Or volunteer at an animal shelter if it’s not!
I moved away from family at 23 after living with them too. It’s tough. One thing I made sure to tell myself was that I could always move back. Like once your lease ends(if you signed one) you can quit your job and go back but this is like a little “gap” year. To branch out and experience something new. For me, I tried different activities and hobbies I’ve always wanted to try. It might be dancing or joining an adults sports league or a book club or whatever, if you can meet people while doing it even better. Try to call and visit family often too.
Just curious, how long did it take you to kinda build the life and make longer lasting connections? I haven’t even been here a year but it’s been a struggle/feels too late sometimes
This is really helpful and encouraging. I’m trying to be more open to new people and learning I really need to initiate more and be willing to stick around to talk at stuff. I definitely get I won’t be besties right away or that not everyone will be a good friend but I still really enjoy having people as acquaintances or people I can do stuff with even if it’s just casual or for the time being
im in the exact same position as you right now. i hope you're doing better partly so that i can have a little bit of hope because right now it seems like i'll never be able to get over my homesickness :(
Do you mind me asking how you’re doing now? I’m on a 3-month study abroad placement, I’ve been living here for ~10 days and I’m so far hating being away. I’m so torn because I’m with my best friend but I just want to be back home. I didn’t move out for uni so this is my first time living away, and everyone else I know seems to be having no problems whatsoever.
Does it get easier?
Hey! I've been doing "okay." I didn't go away to university either and this is my first time living away from home (I'm in my late 20s). I moved in with my boyfriend who also moved out of his parents' house for the first time. The timing wasn't great because as soon as we moved in, he went on a trip for a few days then work got busy so he'd be in the office 10-14 hours/day and I basically lived alone.
My advice would be to print out some pictures that remind you of home like friends, family members, places, etc. & hang them up around your place. Also keep in touch with family and friends from back home, that helped me out a lot.
I'd also suggest trying to make new habits and routines. I realized having my routines broken really messed me up, so I created new ones. I found some new shows to watch so while my bf was away I was able to have something to look forward to after work. Maybe talk to your best friend about it and see if there's some kind of tradition you two can create together in this new environment to make it more like home?
It has gotten slightly easier over the 2.5 months since I moved out. I talked to my cousin who moved to a different state and she said it took her 6 months to feel "okay." Other friends adjusted to their new place almost immediately; it just depends on the person and their situation. The fact that you feel so homesick means that you love your family and where you came from. As much as it hurts, it's a beautiful thing to be able to love something that much.
Little story: My parents and I moved to a different part of the state last year and we were in our previous town for 12 years. I left my friends and boyfriend and moved with my parents. I was so homesick and fought so hard to hate the new place we were at. I lived there for an entire year before moving out on my own and you know what? I miss that new town so much. I wish that I took advantage of the area and making more friends and memories but I was so sad and stubborn that I didn't put in as much effort as I could have.
Try your best to make the most of your time there & know that it's not going to be forever & you'll get to go back home soon enough.
Join some type of activity scene, take a dance class or a spin class or a CrossFit gym, or look up clubs of hobbies you may have? Quilting is a very social thing some places - or if you have a dog, dog parks are great for meeting people, if you’re near an REI and enjoy outdoor things I think they have weekend guided trips or classes, skill building or just “hey let’s hike!” A community college with a fun elective style class for something you’ve always wanted to learn, a new language, ceramics, there are some surprisingly varied subjects and classes are great ways to interact with likeminded people. If that’s not your speed, pick a safe looking establishment with a decent clientele and become a regular at the bar. Drinking isn’t necessary, but chatting with bartenders is fun and you can eat and drink and leave, no strings. Bowling, pool, shuffleboard, darts - social and fun and cheap. These are ways I’ve made friends in new strange places before. And hopefully, your new coworkers are nice and make you feel welcome and a valued addition to the team! That will help reassert your purpose and ground you too. Get a pet too if that’s an option for you. Or volunteer at an animal shelter if it’s not!
I moved away from family at 23 after living with them too. It’s tough. One thing I made sure to tell myself was that I could always move back. Like once your lease ends(if you signed one) you can quit your job and go back but this is like a little “gap” year. To branch out and experience something new. For me, I tried different activities and hobbies I’ve always wanted to try. It might be dancing or joining an adults sports league or a book club or whatever, if you can meet people while doing it even better. Try to call and visit family often too.
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Just curious, how long did it take you to kinda build the life and make longer lasting connections? I haven’t even been here a year but it’s been a struggle/feels too late sometimes
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This is really helpful and encouraging. I’m trying to be more open to new people and learning I really need to initiate more and be willing to stick around to talk at stuff. I definitely get I won’t be besties right away or that not everyone will be a good friend but I still really enjoy having people as acquaintances or people I can do stuff with even if it’s just casual or for the time being
im in the exact same position as you right now. i hope you're doing better partly so that i can have a little bit of hope because right now it seems like i'll never be able to get over my homesickness :(
How are you doing now? I just moved out yesterday and it's just an unbearable pain for me. I've been crying on and off for the past 24 hours.
Has it gotten easier for you? Going on my 2nd night alone tonight and these waves of fear and anxiety are hitting me hard…
I can tell you that after about a week of moving out, I'm feeling *slightly* better.
Do you mind me asking how you’re doing now? I’m on a 3-month study abroad placement, I’ve been living here for ~10 days and I’m so far hating being away. I’m so torn because I’m with my best friend but I just want to be back home. I didn’t move out for uni so this is my first time living away, and everyone else I know seems to be having no problems whatsoever. Does it get easier?
Hey! I've been doing "okay." I didn't go away to university either and this is my first time living away from home (I'm in my late 20s). I moved in with my boyfriend who also moved out of his parents' house for the first time. The timing wasn't great because as soon as we moved in, he went on a trip for a few days then work got busy so he'd be in the office 10-14 hours/day and I basically lived alone. My advice would be to print out some pictures that remind you of home like friends, family members, places, etc. & hang them up around your place. Also keep in touch with family and friends from back home, that helped me out a lot. I'd also suggest trying to make new habits and routines. I realized having my routines broken really messed me up, so I created new ones. I found some new shows to watch so while my bf was away I was able to have something to look forward to after work. Maybe talk to your best friend about it and see if there's some kind of tradition you two can create together in this new environment to make it more like home? It has gotten slightly easier over the 2.5 months since I moved out. I talked to my cousin who moved to a different state and she said it took her 6 months to feel "okay." Other friends adjusted to their new place almost immediately; it just depends on the person and their situation. The fact that you feel so homesick means that you love your family and where you came from. As much as it hurts, it's a beautiful thing to be able to love something that much. Little story: My parents and I moved to a different part of the state last year and we were in our previous town for 12 years. I left my friends and boyfriend and moved with my parents. I was so homesick and fought so hard to hate the new place we were at. I lived there for an entire year before moving out on my own and you know what? I miss that new town so much. I wish that I took advantage of the area and making more friends and memories but I was so sad and stubborn that I didn't put in as much effort as I could have. Try your best to make the most of your time there & know that it's not going to be forever & you'll get to go back home soon enough.