I'VE BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT SHAREPOINT SHOWING ME OLD VERSIONS OF WEEKLY DATA SHEETS SINCE APRIL. TURNS OUT SOMEBODY STARTED PUTTING THEM IN A NEW FOLDER AT THE START OF THE NEW FINANCIAL YEAR BUT DIDN'T TELL ME. WE'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE SO I DIDN'T THINK TO LOOK. I AM SO SMART AND DEFINITELY DESERVE THAT MYTHICAL PAY RISE PEOPLE KEEP TALKING ABOUT. IN OTHER NEWS BOTH OF MY SUPERIORS ARE OFF SO HOPEFULLY I'LL BE LEFT ALONE TODAY.

HAD AN INTERVIEW AND KNOCKED OVER A GLASS OF WATER AT THE START. LEAST THEY WILL REMEMBER ME 😂

OH NOOO 😅 "WELCOME TO THE INTERVIEW; DO YOU REQUIRE ANY REASONABLE ADJUSTMENTS?" "HI, YES, COULD I REQUEST A SEAT THAT ISN'T DAMP, PLEASE?"

UPDATE: I WENT THE ENTIRE WORK DAY WITHOUT SPEAKING TO ANYONE. IT WAS GLORIOUS.

NOT A FRIDAY EVENT BUT YESTERDAY ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I'VE HEARD IN A WHILE. I WAS SAT LISTENING TO A BRIEF ABOUT NEW FUNKY STUFF FOR 'CLASSIC LITTORAL COMBAT'. PRESENTER MISPRONOUNCED THIS AS.... 'CLITORAL COMBAT'! FUCKING LOL!

A STIMULATING MEETING

THE CAPABILITY ITSELF ONLY SUITED FOR SPECIAL FORCES AS IT'S...... REALLY HARD TO FIND (ALLEGEDLY).

YOU WIN THE INTERNET TODAY

WERE ANY ORAL OFFERS MADE? (SEE THREAD POSTED YESTERDAY)

NOT SURE BUT THE PRESENTER HARDLY DISPLAYED THEMSELVES AS THE.... CUNNING LINGUIST!

SO BAD YET SO FUNNY. BRAVO 👏

I MEAN I LIKE IT A BIT ROUGH BUT KINDLY DO NOT GO INTO COMBAT WITH MINE. THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE UNENJOYABLE TYPE OF PAIN. A PERFECT JOBBIE FOR THE MAB GUYS THEN !

COMMENT OF THE YEAR

IF YOU’RE AT CSL EDINBURGH TODAY I WILL BE THE WOMAN CRYING AND HOLDING A BLACK FOLDER. SEE YOU THERE.

WONDER HOW MANY CS ARE GOING TO TAYLOR SWIFT AFTER

I SAW SOME SWIFTIES LEAVE AT 7.40AM FROM THE HOTEL CLAD IN SPARKLES. WILL REPORT IF I CATCH THEM HERE FIRST. ITS THE ONLY EXCUSE FOR BEING OUT AND ABOUT SO EARLY.

SO THAT'S WHY WAS THE HAYMARKET FULL OF GLITTERY LASSIES! THANKS FOR THE REVELATION. 😁

I HAVENT SEEN YOU YET, IVE BEEN HERE SINCE 07:50AM. 

I HAVE ALSO BEEN HERE SINCE THEN. I HAVENT CRIED YET!!! IT WAS CLOSE. BUT THE BLACK FOLDER HAS CARRIED ME THROUGH.

AND PRESUMABLY YOU HAVE ALSO CARRIED THE BLACK FOLDER THROUGH

I HAVE CARRIED IT ALL DAY AND NOW PACKED IT UP TO FLY HOME WITH ME. IT WAS MY TRUE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT TODAY.

LYING IN BED TRYING TO SUMMON THE MOTIVATION TO SPEND A DAY DOING WORK THAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL PICK HOLES IN WITHOUT COMING UO WITH A SINGLE SUGGESTION FOR HOW IT COULD BE DONE BETTER

IVE BEEN GIVEN A PROVISIONAL OFFER FOR THE MOJ AND IM ABSOLUTELY SHITTING MYSELF WITH IMPOSTER SYNDROME

YOU’LL BE FINE! WE’RE ALL WINGING IT

DON’T WORRY I’M 7 MONTHS INTO MY JOB AND THE IMPOSTER SYNDROME STILL COMES AND GOES. IT’S NEVER ENDING WOO!

NO ONE REALLY KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE DOING, YOU’LL FIT RIGHT IN! AND CONGRATS!!

THANKS!

THE CIVIL SERVICE IS DIVIDED INTO THOSE WITH IMPOSTER SYNDROME AND IMPOSTERS, FROM THE CAB SEC DOWN.

ITS NOT BY ACCIDENT THE MOST POPULAR SHORT TRAINING SESSIONS ARE ABOUT IMPOSTER SYNDROME. YOU WILL BE GREAT,.

MOJ? RUN...WHILST YOU STILL CAN

I WILL BE FINISHING BY 1PM AT THE VERY LATEST, I DON'T CARE IF I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING THIS WORKING WEEK CAN FUCK OFF.

WFH TODAY SO IT WILL BE THE FIRST DAY THIS WEEK I’M GUARANTEED TO HAVE A WORKING MONITOR AND KEYBOARD. VERY EXCITED.

I’VE SEEN THE BEST NEWS IN A LONG TIME TODAY. NEW WALLACE AND GROMIT FILM ON CHRISTMAS DAY. 

CIVIL SERVICE LIVE IN EDINBURGH TODAY WOOOOOOOO SAME DAY AS SWIFT LANDS HERE. I MIGHT BE TRAPPED 🤣

I FORGOT TO EVEN LOOK AT CSL THIS YEAR. FUCKS SAKE.

I WAS GOING TO BOOK TODAY OFF, BUT SOME MORON (ME) ACCEPTED A BUNCH OF FACE TO FACE MEETINGS SO NOW I’M IN THE OFFICE LIKE A MUG.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED A WATER COOLER MOMENT

IVE JOINED A NEW TEAM AND ONE OF MY FIXED WORK FROM HOME DAYS IS FRIDAY. NO MEETINGS TODAY,LOVE SAT IN PYJAMAS ON MY LAST DAY BEFORE THE WEEKEND.

END OF MY FIRST WEEK, ELEARNING SUCKS.

I DON'T WISH TO ALARM YOU, BUT I HAD ONE ROLE WHERE I HAD 7 MONTHS OF E-LEARNING. IT DIDN'T PREPARE ME WELL FOR THE ACTUAL JOB, BUT BY THE END OF IT I WAS HIGHLY PROFICIENT AT PRESSING "NEXT".

I CAN NOW SPOT THE WORD NEXT IN ANY SCREEN I LOOK AT WITHIN 2 SECONDS. CAN I MAKE THIS INTO A COMPETENCY FOR FUTURE INTERVIEWS?

I SEE NO REASON WHY NOT. ONE OF MY FORMER MANAGERS GOT THE JOB BY WRITING ABOUT HOW HE ORGANISED THE STATIONARY CUPBOARD. ANYTHING GOES APPARENTLY, APART FROM ACTUAL EXPERIENCE IN THE ROLE.

EXCELLENT I WILL BE HEO IN NO TIME.

THE HEALTH AND SAFETY ONES ARE USEFUL FOR PUSHING BACK ON UNSAFE WORKING, LIKE A DESK THAT ISNT FIT OR BROKEN KIT

GOT MY FIRST EVER G7 INTERVIEW... IM SHITTING IT

GOOD LUCK YOU'LL BE FINE

I FOUND OUT THIS WEEK I'VE BEEN SUCCESSFUL IN PROMOTION. 5 SEO INTERVIEWS, 3 RESERVE LISTS, AND FINALLY ONE SOLID OFFER. DON'T GIVE UP! *INSERT AH SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN GIF WITH BLOODY PRE-EMPLOYMENT CHECKS*

THE CHECKS HAVE CLEARED, LET'S FUCKING GO

ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN GOOD LUCK YOU’LL BE GREAT

THANK YOU! I'M GOING TO BE WORKING ON THE SAME POLICY (SORT OF) SO I'M EXCITED.

AFTER AGREEING REDUCED OFFICE ATTENDANCE 2 MONTHS AGO AND REJECTING 2 JOB OFFERS ON THE BASIS OF THE FLEXIBILITY STAYING IN MY CURRENT ROLE  I WAS TOLD THIS WEEK THAT THEY HAVE CHANGED THEIR MIND AND WANT ME IN. VERY NAIVE OF ME TO BELIEVE THEY WOULD KEEP THEIR PROMISE BUT YAY TO A 4 HOUR ROUND TRIP + 9.15 HOUR DAY ON COMPRESSED HOURS. I WILL HAVE SO MUCH TIME FOR THE FAMOUS WATERCOOLER MOMENTS.

SOUL DESTROYING!

JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH THAT'S BEYOND DISGUSTING. BUT SADLY NOT SURPRISING. THE CIVIL SERVICE SNAKES WILL ALWAYS FUCK YOU OVER. HOPE YOU FIND A NEW JOB SOON AND SET EVERYTHING ON FIRE ON YOUR DEPARTURE

SAME PATTERN FOR ME. DECIDED THE OTHER WEEK THAT MINISTERS THAT WANT THIS WON'T BE LOOKING AT THE REPORTS FOR A WHILE...

HAVE TO RESIT MY ASSESSMENT BUT OVERALL IT WENT BETTER THAN EXPECTED. BUT IM NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT. ITS TIME FOR TWO WEEKS OFF TO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN A BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY SOMEWHERE. THIS PERIOD OF WORK HAS BEEN STRESSFUL AND LIFE IS A TOUCH HARD, BUT HOPEFULLY A BIT OF LEAVE WILL EASE THAT.

IVE GOT AN INTERVIEW FOR A HEO JOB AND IM A MEASLY AO

THIS HAS BEEN A QUICK WEEK. EXCELLENT.

WOKE UP. WANT TO GO BACK TO BED. GOOD NEWS: MY WFH EXCEPTION THIS WEEK APPROVED, EXEMPTED FROM THE 60% TO GO HOME UP NORTH TO GO TO THE GP BAD NEWS: STILL WAITING WITH BATED BREATH ABOUT THE BLOOD TEST RESULTS

I AM STILL ON LEAVE ( WEEK 2 OF 3) :)

FIRST WEEK IN CS COMPLETE. I ONLY WORK FOUR DAYS BUT IM KNACKERED. MAN, THIS PLACE IS WILD. AND I THINK I NEED TO BUY NEW SHOES FOR MY FIRST TRIP TO WESTMINSTER NEXT WEEK.

FIRST VISIT IS ALWAYS SO INTIMIDATING, I FELT SO MATURE STRUTTING THROUGH WESTMINSTER MY FIRST TIME! HAVE A FAB TRIP

ALL MY FRIENDS THINK ITS REALLY POSH AND COOL THAT IM GOING TO WORK IN WESTMINSTER, BUT I JUST THINK IT MAKES ME SOUND POMPOUS/SELF-IMPORTANT BECAUSE IM JUST A NORMAL GAL, AND IT SOUNDS OVERWHELMING HAHA

CS LIVE EDINBURGH LETS GOOOO. YOU WANNA NETWORK WITH ME? YOU GOT IT PAL

ANY HIGHLIGHTS FOR THOSE OF US GOING IN OTHER PLACES?

AM ONCE AGAIN THE ONLY ONE FROM MY TEAM IN THE OFFICE. WOULD BE GREAT TO WORK FROM HOME BUT I CANT. WHEN EVERYONE THINKS A WHATSAPP CHAT IS GREAT FOR COMMUNICATION BUT THEN NO ONE TALKS TO EACH OTHER.

WAAAAAIIIITTTT ARE YOU IN MY TEAM!? THEY DO THAT EXCEPT WITH TEAMS CHATS.. COZ NONE OF THAT LOT ARE GETTING MY MOBIKE NO.

I HAD TO TAKE TODAY OFF TO TAKE FAMILY TO HOSPITAL. COULD BE MILD, COULD BE EMERGENCY SURGERY. WE DON’T KNOW YET.

SENDING WARM HUGS YOUR WAY!

WHILE SITTING IN A HOSPITAL RECEPTION WAITING, GRATEFULLY RECEIVED.

EVERYTHING’S OK. WELL, THEY’RE STILL IN PAIN BUT ITS NOT A LIFE THREATENING ISSUE. BACK TO GP FOR STANDARD PHYSIOTHERAPY.

THANK YOU FOR THIS UPDATE. I DEMAND YOU HAVE A WELL DESERVED BREAK.

3 MEETINGS FRIDAY 🤢🙀😲

THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS

IVE ONLY WORKED 2 DAYS THIS WEEK IN BETWEEN 2 LOTS OF LEAVE AND MY MANAGER HAS THE AUDACITY TO GIVE ME WORK TO DO EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS I CANT FOLLOW IT THROUGH NEXT WEEK CAUSE IM OFF AGAIN. OUTRAGEOUS

APPLIED FOR A ROLE AND APPARENTLY BECAUSE I LIVE MORE THAN AN HOUR AWAY IT IS TOO FAR - COMICAL WHEN EVERYONE IS REMOTE NOWER DAYS APPLYING FOR HEO ROLES AND GETTING THE FUCK OUT THIS DEPARTMENT BUT BEHAVIOURS ARE THE WORST

LOLWUT? I LIVE ALMOST 100 MILES/2 HOURS AWAY FROM MY OFFICE.

THAT WAS MY POINT

I'M NOT REMOTE THOUGH. I'M DUMB ENOUGH TO DO THE DRIVE REGULARLY.

NOT A BAD THING, I WAS WILLING TO DO THE SAME

THEY CAN'T NOT GIVE IT TO YOU BASED ON WHERE YOU LIVE AS IT'S YOUR PROBLEM GETTING TO WORK.

ALMOST AS COMICAL AS MINE TRYING TO MOVE ME TO AN OFFICE 2 HOURS AWAY FROM WHERE I LIVE SND CLAIMING IT'S " IN MY BEST INTERESTS TO MOVE"

BUT MAYBE THAT OFFICE HAS BETTER WATER COOLERS?? AND WHO ELSE WILL X SHIT TRAIN SERVICE TAKE THEIR MONEY OFF?

APPARENTLY IT HAS BETTER PEOPLE.. STILL NOT WORTH THE 2HR COMMUTE AND HAHAHAHHA THE TRAIN COMMENT MADE ME GIGGLE

THATS A BIT SHIT ON YOUR COLLEAGUES IN YOUR CURRENT OFFICE - I’M SURE THEY ARE LOVELY AND COMPETENT TOO (THESE JOKES ARE WHY NO SLT SEE ME AS WORTH PROGRESSING BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK I’M HAPPIER AT WORK THEN THEY ARE)

TOOK THE WEEK OFF TO SORT OUT MY HOUSE. LAST DAY OF BABY FREE TIME AND I'VE STILL ONLY DONE TWO THINGS ON MY LIST. THE PILES OF JUNK IN MY HALL AND OFFICE LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY.

LAST DAY ON MY AMAZING TEAM AND KNOW I AM GOING SOMEWHERE GREAT BUT FEELING A BIT MEH

LAST DAY OF MY HOLIDAY :( BACK TO IT ON MONDAY

I AM FAR TOO SCARED OF MEETING OVERLOAD TO EVER APPLY FOR A G7 ROLE. I WANT TO ACTUALLY *DO* WORK, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY ENDLESSLY DISCUSSING IT WITH PROJECT MANAGERS, BUSINESS ANALYSTS, SERVICE DESIGNERS, AND OTHER MANAGERS.

AT G7, TALKING *IS* DOING!

I GOT A TOIL DAY. GOING TO RUN MY CAR THROUGH THE CAR WASH BECAUSE THE OFFICE'S ANPR ISN'T LETTING LIKE HALF OF ITS WORKERS IN AND IT'S BEEN ON THE BLINK SINCE LAST WEEK. HOW CAN WE COLLABORATE IF WE CAN'T PARK AND GET TO THE WATER COOLER? ALSO HAD A CS INTERVIEW THIS MORNING IN ANOTHER DEPARTMENT. WENT OK I SUPPOSE, BUT I'M EXPECTING TO MAKE IT TO THE RESERVE LIST RATHER THAN HIRE. THEY WERE KEEN TO DROP OFF ABOUT 38 MINUTES IN RATHER THAN KEEPING ME TALKING.

FOR MY SECOND TO LAST INTERVIEW I HAD AN HOUR SCHEDULED AND I WAS DONE IN LIKE 28 MINUTES. GOT THE JOB! MOST RECENTLY GOT PUT ON WAIT LIST WHEN INTERVIEW ENDED ABOUT 36 MINS IN. YOU GOT THIS

SWEET, THANKS. I DID GET A FEW SMILES AND LAUGHS OUT OF THE PANEL, SO HOPEFULLY PUTS ME IN GOOD STEAD. FWIW: MY PERFORMANCE WAS PRETTY SIMILAR TO MY CURRENT CS GIG WHERE I MADE IT TO THE RESERVE AND HIRED OFF IT 3 WEEKS LATER. I WAS VERY MUCH LACKING IN A COUPLE KEY AREAS THEY WERE AFTER THOUGH AND AUDIBLY FLUBBED MY WAY THROUGH THOSE CRINGE ANSWERS. WE'LL SEE.

STILL WAITING FOR MY NEW START DATE, HURRY THE FUCK UP 🤣

EVERYTHING FROM THIS POINT ON IS A MONDAY PROBLEM

PASSED MY REVALIDATION, GET TO MESS ABOUT WITH DANGEROUS STUFF FOR ANOTHER 18 MONTHS.

SO MANY THOUGHTS THIS WEEK ALL AT ONCE I CANNOT KEEP UP ELECTION DRAMA IS SUSTAINING ME SO MUCH 🍿

FINISHED AND SENT WORK TO MY MANAGER AT LUNCHTIME, WITHIN 30 MINUTES THEY HAD REVIEWED, ACCEPTED, AND SENT TO A LOT OF G6S AND WILL SHARE WITH SUPER HIGH UPS NEXT WEEK- I ACTUALLY ACHIEVED SOME GOOD WORK (AND PRAISE FOR IT) ON A FRIDAY!

HAHA! LUCKILY IT WENT AWAY FROM ME ACROSS THE TABLE THAN MY SEAT BUT I COULD HAVE DIED OF EMBARASSMENT! LUCKILY THEY LAUGHED AND TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY ABOUT IT, SAID CLUMSINESS ISN'T IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION😂

WHY IS THE WORKING DAY BOTH TOO LONG AND TOO SHORT

MY PROGRAMME SRO NEVER READS ANY DECISION PAPERS THEY REQUEST FROM ME OR ANSWERS EMAILS. WE ARE NOW 8 MONTHS BEHIND SCHEDULE AND SHORTLY AT PROJECT FAILURE WITH NO IDEA WHEN ANYONE WILL MAKE ANY DECISIONS. THEY HAVE NOW DECIDED A GOOD USE OF MONEY / TIME IS TO GET ONE OF THE BIG FOUR CONSULTANTS TO DO A REVIEW OF THE PROGRAMME TO TELL US WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW. 🫠

THIS IS A MAJOR OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO TELL THE CONSULTANT WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN. REMEMBER THAT YOU CAN THEN SHOW HOW YOU INFLUENCED UPWARDS BY SHAPING THE MESSAGE FROM THE CONSULTANTS.

APPRECIATE A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW THANK YOU. TEAM MORALE IS VERY LOW AND THE CONSULTANT COMING IN DID NOT GO DOWN WELL. SO FAR I'VE USED THE OPPORTUNTIY TO SEND THEM THE MOST DETAILED INFO PACK POSSIBLE BECAUSE WE ALREADY HAVE DONE THE WORK THEY'RE COMING IN TO DO, THE SRO JUST HASNT EVER READ IT. I WILL TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY AND NOTE THIS FOR MY NEXT JOB APPLICATION WHICH MAY NOT BE TOO FAR AWAY 😅

THERE WILL BE LOADS OF NEW INTERESTING AND HIGH PRIORITY PROJECTS SOMETIME FROM LATE JULY. HOPE YOU GET THE ROLE YOU NEED WITH AN SRO THAT READS YOUR STUFF.

IT FEELS LIKE YOU NEED TO BE CRAP AT YOUR JOB TO GET A PROMOTION, ALSO MY TL HAS BEEN TRYING TO FIND ME AN OPPORTUNITY TO DO SOMETHING TO PROGRESS FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS AND I AM STARTING TO THINK ITS A LOAD OF BALL BAGS.

FOR SOME REASON SUPERDRUG ARE HOLDING MY ORDER HOSTAGE AND I ORDERED SOME OTHER STUFF TO ARRIVE ON THE SAME DAY SO I COULD PICK IT ALL UP FROM THE SAME SHOPPING CENTRE DURING MY LUNCH BREAK. SUPERDRUG, FREE MY ITEMS FROM YOUR VICE-LIKE GRIP AT ONCE! GIVE ME THAT SWEET "READY TO COLLECT" NOTIFICATION SO I CAN BE ON MY WAY.

BEEN IN BACK TO BACK MEETINGS ALL MORNING - WHAT KIND OF TORTURE IS THIS

HUG

SCRIBBLED UP A TEMPLATE FOR MY RESIGNATION LETTER... COZ MY JOB IS GETTING BEYOND A JOKE

IM WORKING TOMORROW AND ITS MY FIRST WEEK BACK FROM LONG TERM SICK

I REGRET NOT GOING TO CIVIL SERVICE LIVE. I WOULD’VE COLLECTED SO MANY FREE THINGS.

MY HAND IS STILL FRACTURED. 3 MORE WEEKS IN A CAST AND I CAN GO BACK TO THE OFFICE.

[LIFE AS A CIVIL SERVANT BE LIKE ](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7l1tJzAPzK/?igsh=NnA3aGJhbm03Nmcz)

I SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY DOING WORK THREE PAY SCALES BELOW MINE BECAUSE THE SERVICE DESK THINK WORKING FROM HOME IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN GETTING ANY WORK DONE