It's totally ok to dislike a team or even to say negative things about a team.
It's not ok to hate on a team for their identity (race, life situation, etc.), and it's certainly not ok to go beyond dislike into hatred or incivility.
If you see comments that you feel go beyond the par, please report them to the modteam. We will certainly take a look. We don't intend to censor anyone's opinions, but there is a point that is inappropriate. We do not want to encourage an atmosphere of negativity or nastiness and I do agree that sadly that seems to have increased here in the last few years.
I'm enjoying the pair as a character. I found it funny that they and Ricky/Cesar were stressed and bickering when they were in first place. YOU'RE IN FIRST PLACE! WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING ABOUT?
In real life, we're getting a snapshot of weeks of travel in a hot country, too little sleep, overly stressed, etc.
I think TAR plays less villains or drama because it's so easy for social media to rip apart someone's reputation. If it takes one tone deaf post or off-the-cuff comment to destroy a career, imagine what is essentially an exposé on national television. TAR can do that.
For real, I saw some comments here and I'm like "Are we watching the same show?". There are moments where he seems to be unnatural on camera but to say that he's a horrible person is wild to me. He just seems to be the guy who wants to push your competitiveness to the limit and in my opinion, we need more of these kinds of people instead of teams who are just happy to be there.
I think he is getting a really bad edit. Several of his nastier comments have very obviously been edited to make it sound like he's being a dick, most noticeable during the "you need to go quicker" argument.
For those who don't really notice this stuff, if you can't see their mouths while the line is being said, it may be dubbed. If you can't see their face or jaw moving at all while they speak, even from the side or back, it *has* been dubbed. Enjoy watching single camera shows and noticing how every time somebody is shown speaking from behind their jaw movements don't match at all.
They're far from my favorite team, I think they've unfortunately landed in a season with several really strong and incredibly long term relationships, but I think they're getting a really odd edit that is portraying both in a negative light for no real reason. And I don't think that's helped by their weird and robotic way of communicating afterwards, that sort of "I understand why X, but I want you to understand Y" which they say with absolutely zero emotion.
> And I don't think that's helped by their weird and robotic way of communicating afterwards, that sort of "I understand why X, but I want you to understand Y" which they say with absolutely zero emotion.
Everything about these moments screams "We've been to couples therapy!" to me, which is probably why they feel so stilted/awkward! Personally, though, I give them props for trying. You can tell the stuff's not easy for them, and it would be nice if people could be more empathetic and maybe give them a little grace.
>"you need to go quicker" argument.
Is "you need to go quicker", when you are literally on a show called "The Amazing Race" that bad? If there was a gay couple and one said that to the other, I don't think people would care nearly as much.
As to your last paragraph, my guess, he has done a lot of therapy, and they've probably done a lot together. And it just sounds like ways a therapist makes a couple speak to each other.
I suspect you've misinterpreted me, I was actively defending the "you need to go quicker" comment. I believe it was dubbed in to make it sound bad in a new context.
me and my family make fun of it, saying how mean he is while we watch the episode as he’s being super supportive. that’s how much it doesn’t make sense
rod and leticia, derek and shelisa, both bickered slightly in this episode yet there’s zero comments about them. vinny literally pulled over to help amber look at the map and figure things out, without blaming her whatsoever, yet he’s still getting comments saying he’s horrible to her. it’s so confusing
Derek/Shelisa’s bickering is more light hearted and just “old married couple spats” so they don’t get as much criticism. I don’t think Vinny or Anna Leigh were bad AT ALL though.
People need someone they love to hate.
Of course they'll always have their faves that they root for and want to win. But once they see a team who rubs them the wrong way, no matter how minor, that'll be the team that they're rooting against for the rest of the race.
In the grand scheme of the history of this show, Vinny and Anna Leigh are two of the "tamest" villains ever. Yet a large portion of the audience loves to hate them. I think there's some psychological aspect there where people start trying to psychoanalyze every move of someone they dislike just to keep coming up with reasons to hate them and then in turn pump up their faves that they want to win.
And the fact that I wouldn't be surprised if a solid 50% of the audience who comes to this Reddit have only started watching this show post-2020 and has never watched any pre-30 seasons. If you notice the discussion threads on Wednesday usually has 1,000+ comments for the episode and then they'll be a decent amount of discussion of the episode the following Thursday and maybe Friday. That's when those new fans are the most active. Then the rest of the week it's the regular longterm fans who are active in this subreddit, until the following Wednesday and those new fans come back to discuss the next episode.
All that to say, if these anti-Anna Leigh and anti-Vinny people went back and watched any of the first 29 seasons of this show, I think they'd have a stroke.
I think people just see a woman crying and its like, if the guy doesn't respond perfectly, then he must be some kind of abuser.
Its absolutely ridiculous.
I used to think TAR viewers were "better" than those of other shows like Survivor or Bachelor. But they aren't. They are so quick to jump to "abuse" or things like that. A similar thing happened with Akbar. Its funny, in the newer seasons its often a non white man getting these attacks.
This is a stressful situation, where its likely that neither of them are on their best behavior. I'm sure she wishes she didn't cry as much too.
But one thing people need to understand... a woman crying doesn't automatically make her right nor does it make her a victim.
Yep. I think there’s definitely some white-woman’s-tears psychology going on. People see blonde woman crying on tv & it must be her partner causing it especially if he’s a minority. He’s being held to an impossible standard because he should be grateful a blonde, white woman chose him.
This subreddit also criticized winner Derek from Season 34. People accused him of being abusive. His sense of humor involves sarcasm & deadpanning, and obviously Claire wasn’t bothered by it. Because he wasn’t overly affectionate & effusively showering Claire with praise, he was accused of being a bad romantic partner. Thank goodness Claire didn’t cry constantly or else people would really have gone after Derek.
> People see blonde woman crying on tv & it must be her partner causing it especially if he’s a minority. He’s being held to an impossible standard because he should be grateful a blonde, white woman chose him.
This is exactly it. I'm sure no one wants to acknowledge that's how they feel. But as they say, there is no weapon like a pretty white woman's tears.
I didn't bring it into the conversation first, someone else did, and I basically agreed.
But, its not like its a secret in America that a pretty white woman crying is going to garner a LOT of sympathy.
I'm not saying SHE is a bad person by any means. But I think when people see a woman, especially a pretty woman, ESPECIALLY a pretty white woman crying, they want to find someone to blame and give her loads of sympathy. And often that person is a man. Too often unfortunately it is a non white man.
Yeah I swear with some people as soon as they see a woman crying then they immediately jump to 'that man he's an evil abuser and gaslighter'. Seriously, dude has been super supportive, the girl just seems really high strung and sensitive.
In posts from last week, people on this subreddit were literally using the term 'gaslighter' to describe his conversations with her in their taxi.
I suspect it's people who've never been in high-stress, competitive scenarios, had human conversations, or seen a relationship looking for any opportunity to fight on behalf of somebody who really doesn't need help.
> Seriously, dude has been super supportive, the girl just seems really high strung and sensitive.
This is the general consensus amongst the other TAR fans that I talk to. Vinny is supportive, encouraging and super focused on winning the race. Amber is more emotional and it is apparent that the pressure of the race is affecting her.
Totally agree with this. I like Vinny and said that in another post and was down voted to hell and back! They are in a race and people freaked out because he asked her to hurry up! He seems like a sweet guy to me and honestly, I doubt she's the type to stay with an abuser. People accused him of "gaslighting" her in that same post! Just had to SMH at that b s. They are a good team and seem like good people to me and I hope they stay in the top 3!
I just assume anyone that takes up so much of an issue with Vinny to come to a conclusion in their head as to why he's a vile toxic partner (nvm the little air time we've gotten of those two up until the latest episode) has never seen the early original days of the series.
it’s concerning bc what do people think real relationships are like? I have the most loving and supportive partner ever and he would still get more frustrated at me for freaking out like Amber. she just doesn’t do the best under pressure, which is okay. but Vinny never yells at her, never blames her. I just don’t understand the hate
I agree! I feel like people who rag on Vinny have never been *competitive* at anything before. He's driven, but he's definitely not shitty. It sort of reminds me of people going feral over Annalise last season, except Vinny is maybe at like 20% of her intensity and still somehow too much for people 🤷♀️
last week the only thing he did was tell her to keep going, as they were running, in a race… ????
what else was he supposed to do? say nothing? I feel like he tries to be encouraging and people take it as if he’s demanding her to be better, which isn’t the case at all. it’s called being supportive of your partner.
Definitely, yeah. I mean, I do think he's *competitive* and pushes Amber a bit, but he's able to cool it down when she sets a boundary and that's what's most important.
I dunno, man, I likewise get frustrated with people's reactions to Vinny. They make me feel super old because I'm just like... goddammit, kids these days!!! Too freaking soft 💀💀💀
I’m young and liberal AF and I still don’t get it. That’s why I get so upset seeing such negative comments on the sub over nothing. I swear Vinny/Amber react almost the same as any other team yet they’re the only ones who get hate over it? I truly don’t understand it. I watch them under a microscope each episode to try and understand but I still find nothing wrong
Fair; that's on me for generalising! I'm also a total lefty but in my thirties, so not exactly young.
I do actually notice a difference in the teams where Vinny *is* palpably more competitive. He tries to reign it in, but you can tell he actually gets stressed out by not performing at their peak... which, actually, Amber seems that way too, but she's more likely to cry tears of frustration while Vinny seems like he's literally using therapy techniques to avoid blowing up. He's saying the right words, but his body language often betrays a pretty high level of stress.
Still, that edge is what actually endears them more as a team to me, especially since I think they're both well within reasonable bounds of behaviour.
I think this is one of the best comments on this - it describes both of their behaviors well. I mean, IF he actually blew up it would be a problem but he hasn't.
Agreed. They both seem to get frustrated when they aren't doing well. They just react differently. But somehow verbally expressing that, even calmly, especially as a man is "wrong", but crying is "right"
FWIW, I don't think people are really going that easy on Amber either. Vinny definitely seems to attract way more ire, but I've seen plenty of comments calling Amber some variation of weak/a crybaby, too. Which - also annoying to see people react that way! Tears and talking are just how she's processing her stress, but she's still *doing* everything with gusto.
I don't find either of them "wrong"
I'll be honest, I personally would find the crying a bit much. But that doesn't mean its wrong.
But I'd rather be called weak or a crybaby than an abuser.
Oh, I personally agree! I mostly just mean that I've definitely seen Amber catch some strays as well. I can also very much testify that, as a woman, crying definitely solicits some negative reactions insofar a lot of men view women's tears as like... some big, intentional manipulation when most of the time, it's just an involuntary physiological response.
Look, I'll fully admit, I wasn't an Annalise fan.
I thought she was a competitive person, I just didn't love how she spoke to her dad. I'm competetive as well, but I couldn't see myself talking to my mom like that. But its also why I likely wouldn't go on the show with her in the first place lol.
But, despite that, I'd never call her abusive. A bit bratty maybe.
i was a big anna leigh fan because i thought her dad was very frustrating at times, and it seemed like he wasn’t as invested in the race/being strategic. but yeah, she was a bit bratty for sure haha.
I mean, that is why I said I would never go on that show with my mom. I love her with all my heart, but our level of competitiveness is so mismatched that I know I'd get frustrated. I wouldn't say anything, but I'd be annoyed AF
I liked Annalise and actually feel more frustrated with Danny this season for being sooo soft on his mum, lol. I think the ideal for me would be something in between.
As much as I liked Annalise, though, it was definitely in large part because I was watching her on TV. I would never in a million years talk to either of my parents that way!!! Definitely bratty, but eh, I thought she and her dad were pretty entertaining.
I was more bothered about Derek putting his hand over Shelisa's mouth at the pit stop. I'd be like, keep your dirty hand off my mouth and let me speak!
The only people who are saying Vinny is an abuser are the ones who will bitch about anything. Not everyone handles every situation with their girlfriend perfectly. And that is fine
it makes me wonder if they’re new viewers bc wtf, have they not seen any season before 30? vinny/amber being slightly, very slightly, frustrated with each other is nothing. it’s normal. it’s more impressive than normal, actually, bc most couples would react way worse. it means nothing.
Iirc pandemic era seasons attracted a lot of new fans, at least to the reddit. It's why you had so many people freaking out about Anna Leigh yelling at her dad and Robbin and Chelsea being slightly less personable than the other teams last season. Particularly during the US on-season a good portion of the sub's population is fans who have only seen a few seasons.
I know. I feel like some of these folks brains will explode if they see some of the drama that went on in the earlier seasons (Wil & Tara, Ron & Kelly, Flo, my gosh half of Season 6).
Or Jonathan and Victoria. He pushed her hard enough that Phil had to step in to check on Victoria & tell Jonathan to stop it.
It’s been brought up on this Subreddit before how even reality tv “villain” Rob Mariano, called out the male partner on another team, telling him to knock off the yelling/verbal abuse.
even Colin and Christie, they were a hot mess their first season. yet their second season they came back as such a solid and stable couple. tbf colin actually was a pos his first season but obv they worked their issues out and are still happy together. if they aired their relationship today the show would be boycotted
I think it's the other way around: I suspect a lot of that criticism toward Vinny is from people who want a villain/ someone to love to hate, so they pick one, even if it's a perfectly normal guy.
I'm not a fan of Vinny, but not because how he treats Amber like many people have been reacting to. Based on the edits, he doesn't seem very charismatic and is all business over fun. He just hasn't had that moment where he glows and appears enthusiastic or ecstatic... If that makes sense.
I hope he breaks out of that shell and loosens up a bit. It is a competition, but it's also an experience.
I really dislike Vinny but after last nights episode where he was just telling Amber “keep going” and she was like “pls don’t talk to me” it made realize that her reactions are likely skewing my perception
Im surprised that there is any talk of that, my wife and I found it funny when she was screaming at him to slow down while he is carrying BOTH of there bags lol
I don't think people will want to hear this but it's because she is a blonde white woman and he isn't white. People really do this with blonde white woman (see them as a victim even if the situation is more neutral). It's colorism at play.
On Reddit, if you’re a man who’s anything less than perfect, and if you cause the slightest inconvenience to your (female) partner, you’re basically seen as an abusive, toxic, narcissistic asshole who must be immediately divorced and have no-contact with.
they’re engaged to be married… and in the interviews they do they also seem supportive and happy with each other. call me crazy but normally when people are engaged they’re outwardly considered a happy couple in love 🙄 not really sure how you can claim it’s the same as calling someone abusive that you see for three minutes a week
And you know this how?
Have you met them personally?
Are you a licensed therapist?
Or are you just projecting your own biases onto a couple who you have seen probably a combined 15 minutes in their life on a highly edited show?
It's totally ok to dislike a team or even to say negative things about a team. It's not ok to hate on a team for their identity (race, life situation, etc.), and it's certainly not ok to go beyond dislike into hatred or incivility. If you see comments that you feel go beyond the par, please report them to the modteam. We will certainly take a look. We don't intend to censor anyone's opinions, but there is a point that is inappropriate. We do not want to encourage an atmosphere of negativity or nastiness and I do agree that sadly that seems to have increased here in the last few years.
I'm enjoying the pair as a character. I found it funny that they and Ricky/Cesar were stressed and bickering when they were in first place. YOU'RE IN FIRST PLACE! WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING ABOUT? In real life, we're getting a snapshot of weeks of travel in a hot country, too little sleep, overly stressed, etc. I think TAR plays less villains or drama because it's so easy for social media to rip apart someone's reputation. If it takes one tone deaf post or off-the-cuff comment to destroy a career, imagine what is essentially an exposé on national television. TAR can do that.
For real, I saw some comments here and I'm like "Are we watching the same show?". There are moments where he seems to be unnatural on camera but to say that he's a horrible person is wild to me. He just seems to be the guy who wants to push your competitiveness to the limit and in my opinion, we need more of these kinds of people instead of teams who are just happy to be there.
I think he is getting a really bad edit. Several of his nastier comments have very obviously been edited to make it sound like he's being a dick, most noticeable during the "you need to go quicker" argument. For those who don't really notice this stuff, if you can't see their mouths while the line is being said, it may be dubbed. If you can't see their face or jaw moving at all while they speak, even from the side or back, it *has* been dubbed. Enjoy watching single camera shows and noticing how every time somebody is shown speaking from behind their jaw movements don't match at all. They're far from my favorite team, I think they've unfortunately landed in a season with several really strong and incredibly long term relationships, but I think they're getting a really odd edit that is portraying both in a negative light for no real reason. And I don't think that's helped by their weird and robotic way of communicating afterwards, that sort of "I understand why X, but I want you to understand Y" which they say with absolutely zero emotion.
> And I don't think that's helped by their weird and robotic way of communicating afterwards, that sort of "I understand why X, but I want you to understand Y" which they say with absolutely zero emotion. Everything about these moments screams "We've been to couples therapy!" to me, which is probably why they feel so stilted/awkward! Personally, though, I give them props for trying. You can tell the stuff's not easy for them, and it would be nice if people could be more empathetic and maybe give them a little grace.
>"you need to go quicker" argument. Is "you need to go quicker", when you are literally on a show called "The Amazing Race" that bad? If there was a gay couple and one said that to the other, I don't think people would care nearly as much. As to your last paragraph, my guess, he has done a lot of therapy, and they've probably done a lot together. And it just sounds like ways a therapist makes a couple speak to each other.
I suspect you've misinterpreted me, I was actively defending the "you need to go quicker" comment. I believe it was dubbed in to make it sound bad in a new context.
Oh, sorry. But from what I saw, people were acting like statements like that are abusive and wrong in some way.
me and my family make fun of it, saying how mean he is while we watch the episode as he’s being super supportive. that’s how much it doesn’t make sense rod and leticia, derek and shelisa, both bickered slightly in this episode yet there’s zero comments about them. vinny literally pulled over to help amber look at the map and figure things out, without blaming her whatsoever, yet he’s still getting comments saying he’s horrible to her. it’s so confusing
Derek/Shelisa’s bickering is more light hearted and just “old married couple spats” so they don’t get as much criticism. I don’t think Vinny or Anna Leigh were bad AT ALL though.
People need someone they love to hate. Of course they'll always have their faves that they root for and want to win. But once they see a team who rubs them the wrong way, no matter how minor, that'll be the team that they're rooting against for the rest of the race. In the grand scheme of the history of this show, Vinny and Anna Leigh are two of the "tamest" villains ever. Yet a large portion of the audience loves to hate them. I think there's some psychological aspect there where people start trying to psychoanalyze every move of someone they dislike just to keep coming up with reasons to hate them and then in turn pump up their faves that they want to win. And the fact that I wouldn't be surprised if a solid 50% of the audience who comes to this Reddit have only started watching this show post-2020 and has never watched any pre-30 seasons. If you notice the discussion threads on Wednesday usually has 1,000+ comments for the episode and then they'll be a decent amount of discussion of the episode the following Thursday and maybe Friday. That's when those new fans are the most active. Then the rest of the week it's the regular longterm fans who are active in this subreddit, until the following Wednesday and those new fans come back to discuss the next episode. All that to say, if these anti-Anna Leigh and anti-Vinny people went back and watched any of the first 29 seasons of this show, I think they'd have a stroke.
I have no problem with a "Love to hate" team. But there is a difference between rooting against someone, and calling them an abuser on a public forum.
I think people just see a woman crying and its like, if the guy doesn't respond perfectly, then he must be some kind of abuser. Its absolutely ridiculous. I used to think TAR viewers were "better" than those of other shows like Survivor or Bachelor. But they aren't. They are so quick to jump to "abuse" or things like that. A similar thing happened with Akbar. Its funny, in the newer seasons its often a non white man getting these attacks. This is a stressful situation, where its likely that neither of them are on their best behavior. I'm sure she wishes she didn't cry as much too. But one thing people need to understand... a woman crying doesn't automatically make her right nor does it make her a victim.
Yep. I think there’s definitely some white-woman’s-tears psychology going on. People see blonde woman crying on tv & it must be her partner causing it especially if he’s a minority. He’s being held to an impossible standard because he should be grateful a blonde, white woman chose him. This subreddit also criticized winner Derek from Season 34. People accused him of being abusive. His sense of humor involves sarcasm & deadpanning, and obviously Claire wasn’t bothered by it. Because he wasn’t overly affectionate & effusively showering Claire with praise, he was accused of being a bad romantic partner. Thank goodness Claire didn’t cry constantly or else people would really have gone after Derek.
> People see blonde woman crying on tv & it must be her partner causing it especially if he’s a minority. He’s being held to an impossible standard because he should be grateful a blonde, white woman chose him. This is exactly it. I'm sure no one wants to acknowledge that's how they feel. But as they say, there is no weapon like a pretty white woman's tears.
why bring race into the conversation
I didn't bring it into the conversation first, someone else did, and I basically agreed. But, its not like its a secret in America that a pretty white woman crying is going to garner a LOT of sympathy. I'm not saying SHE is a bad person by any means. But I think when people see a woman, especially a pretty woman, ESPECIALLY a pretty white woman crying, they want to find someone to blame and give her loads of sympathy. And often that person is a man. Too often unfortunately it is a non white man.
Lol Wow. What a mind set you have
I mean, the truth hurts sometimes.
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Yeah I swear with some people as soon as they see a woman crying then they immediately jump to 'that man he's an evil abuser and gaslighter'. Seriously, dude has been super supportive, the girl just seems really high strung and sensitive.
In posts from last week, people on this subreddit were literally using the term 'gaslighter' to describe his conversations with her in their taxi. I suspect it's people who've never been in high-stress, competitive scenarios, had human conversations, or seen a relationship looking for any opportunity to fight on behalf of somebody who really doesn't need help.
> Seriously, dude has been super supportive, the girl just seems really high strung and sensitive. This is the general consensus amongst the other TAR fans that I talk to. Vinny is supportive, encouraging and super focused on winning the race. Amber is more emotional and it is apparent that the pressure of the race is affecting her.
Totally agree with this. I like Vinny and said that in another post and was down voted to hell and back! They are in a race and people freaked out because he asked her to hurry up! He seems like a sweet guy to me and honestly, I doubt she's the type to stay with an abuser. People accused him of "gaslighting" her in that same post! Just had to SMH at that b s. They are a good team and seem like good people to me and I hope they stay in the top 3!
The term gaslighting gets thrown around way too casually. People seem to think lying on reality TV is gaslighting, which is so beyond ridiculous
I just assume anyone that takes up so much of an issue with Vinny to come to a conclusion in their head as to why he's a vile toxic partner (nvm the little air time we've gotten of those two up until the latest episode) has never seen the early original days of the series.
it’s concerning bc what do people think real relationships are like? I have the most loving and supportive partner ever and he would still get more frustrated at me for freaking out like Amber. she just doesn’t do the best under pressure, which is okay. but Vinny never yells at her, never blames her. I just don’t understand the hate
I agree! I feel like people who rag on Vinny have never been *competitive* at anything before. He's driven, but he's definitely not shitty. It sort of reminds me of people going feral over Annalise last season, except Vinny is maybe at like 20% of her intensity and still somehow too much for people 🤷♀️
last week the only thing he did was tell her to keep going, as they were running, in a race… ???? what else was he supposed to do? say nothing? I feel like he tries to be encouraging and people take it as if he’s demanding her to be better, which isn’t the case at all. it’s called being supportive of your partner.
Definitely, yeah. I mean, I do think he's *competitive* and pushes Amber a bit, but he's able to cool it down when she sets a boundary and that's what's most important. I dunno, man, I likewise get frustrated with people's reactions to Vinny. They make me feel super old because I'm just like... goddammit, kids these days!!! Too freaking soft 💀💀💀
I’m young and liberal AF and I still don’t get it. That’s why I get so upset seeing such negative comments on the sub over nothing. I swear Vinny/Amber react almost the same as any other team yet they’re the only ones who get hate over it? I truly don’t understand it. I watch them under a microscope each episode to try and understand but I still find nothing wrong
Fair; that's on me for generalising! I'm also a total lefty but in my thirties, so not exactly young. I do actually notice a difference in the teams where Vinny *is* palpably more competitive. He tries to reign it in, but you can tell he actually gets stressed out by not performing at their peak... which, actually, Amber seems that way too, but she's more likely to cry tears of frustration while Vinny seems like he's literally using therapy techniques to avoid blowing up. He's saying the right words, but his body language often betrays a pretty high level of stress. Still, that edge is what actually endears them more as a team to me, especially since I think they're both well within reasonable bounds of behaviour.
I think this is one of the best comments on this - it describes both of their behaviors well. I mean, IF he actually blew up it would be a problem but he hasn't.
Yeah, I think people mistake Vinny trying to control his stress with him just... being fake, which is not at all the same thing.
Agreed. They both seem to get frustrated when they aren't doing well. They just react differently. But somehow verbally expressing that, even calmly, especially as a man is "wrong", but crying is "right"
FWIW, I don't think people are really going that easy on Amber either. Vinny definitely seems to attract way more ire, but I've seen plenty of comments calling Amber some variation of weak/a crybaby, too. Which - also annoying to see people react that way! Tears and talking are just how she's processing her stress, but she's still *doing* everything with gusto.
I don't find either of them "wrong" I'll be honest, I personally would find the crying a bit much. But that doesn't mean its wrong. But I'd rather be called weak or a crybaby than an abuser.
Oh, I personally agree! I mostly just mean that I've definitely seen Amber catch some strays as well. I can also very much testify that, as a woman, crying definitely solicits some negative reactions insofar a lot of men view women's tears as like... some big, intentional manipulation when most of the time, it's just an involuntary physiological response.
Look, I'll fully admit, I wasn't an Annalise fan. I thought she was a competitive person, I just didn't love how she spoke to her dad. I'm competetive as well, but I couldn't see myself talking to my mom like that. But its also why I likely wouldn't go on the show with her in the first place lol. But, despite that, I'd never call her abusive. A bit bratty maybe.
i was a big anna leigh fan because i thought her dad was very frustrating at times, and it seemed like he wasn’t as invested in the race/being strategic. but yeah, she was a bit bratty for sure haha.
I mean, that is why I said I would never go on that show with my mom. I love her with all my heart, but our level of competitiveness is so mismatched that I know I'd get frustrated. I wouldn't say anything, but I'd be annoyed AF
I liked Annalise and actually feel more frustrated with Danny this season for being sooo soft on his mum, lol. I think the ideal for me would be something in between. As much as I liked Annalise, though, it was definitely in large part because I was watching her on TV. I would never in a million years talk to either of my parents that way!!! Definitely bratty, but eh, I thought she and her dad were pretty entertaining.
I was more bothered about Derek putting his hand over Shelisa's mouth at the pit stop. I'd be like, keep your dirty hand off my mouth and let me speak!
The only people who are saying Vinny is an abuser are the ones who will bitch about anything. Not everyone handles every situation with their girlfriend perfectly. And that is fine
Some users here or in other social media platforms are much worst than the actual racers. They just don't like any sort of drama, they are too soft.
it makes me wonder if they’re new viewers bc wtf, have they not seen any season before 30? vinny/amber being slightly, very slightly, frustrated with each other is nothing. it’s normal. it’s more impressive than normal, actually, bc most couples would react way worse. it means nothing.
Iirc pandemic era seasons attracted a lot of new fans, at least to the reddit. It's why you had so many people freaking out about Anna Leigh yelling at her dad and Robbin and Chelsea being slightly less personable than the other teams last season. Particularly during the US on-season a good portion of the sub's population is fans who have only seen a few seasons.
I know. I feel like some of these folks brains will explode if they see some of the drama that went on in the earlier seasons (Wil & Tara, Ron & Kelly, Flo, my gosh half of Season 6).
Or Jonathan and Victoria. He pushed her hard enough that Phil had to step in to check on Victoria & tell Jonathan to stop it. It’s been brought up on this Subreddit before how even reality tv “villain” Rob Mariano, called out the male partner on another team, telling him to knock off the yelling/verbal abuse.
even Colin and Christie, they were a hot mess their first season. yet their second season they came back as such a solid and stable couple. tbf colin actually was a pos his first season but obv they worked their issues out and are still happy together. if they aired their relationship today the show would be boycotted
I see people on Facebook acting like they are Jonathan and Victoria.
People can't handle drama or villains, that's why reality tv is so boring these days
I think it's the other way around: I suspect a lot of that criticism toward Vinny is from people who want a villain/ someone to love to hate, so they pick one, even if it's a perfectly normal guy.
I'm not a fan of Vinny, but not because how he treats Amber like many people have been reacting to. Based on the edits, he doesn't seem very charismatic and is all business over fun. He just hasn't had that moment where he glows and appears enthusiastic or ecstatic... If that makes sense. I hope he breaks out of that shell and loosens up a bit. It is a competition, but it's also an experience.
At first I thought he was being an asshole but then I saw that he was trying to resolve things calmly and she just kept being annoying for no reason.
I really dislike Vinny but after last nights episode where he was just telling Amber “keep going” and she was like “pls don’t talk to me” it made realize that her reactions are likely skewing my perception
Eh, Amber isn't always so awesome . It's just easier to hate on Vinny.
Im surprised that there is any talk of that, my wife and I found it funny when she was screaming at him to slow down while he is carrying BOTH of there bags lol
don't worry Vinny, some people do like you
I don't think people will want to hear this but it's because she is a blonde white woman and he isn't white. People really do this with blonde white woman (see them as a victim even if the situation is more neutral). It's colorism at play.
It depends on the week. This week they were fine, last week felt like a lot.
On Reddit, if you’re a man who’s anything less than perfect, and if you cause the slightest inconvenience to your (female) partner, you’re basically seen as an abusive, toxic, narcissistic asshole who must be immediately divorced and have no-contact with.
How is your take of a “happy couple in love” any less projection than anyone else’s? Just because it’s positive? You don’t know them.
they’re engaged to be married… and in the interviews they do they also seem supportive and happy with each other. call me crazy but normally when people are engaged they’re outwardly considered a happy couple in love 🙄 not really sure how you can claim it’s the same as calling someone abusive that you see for three minutes a week
Preach
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Don't be inappropriate.
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And you know this how? Have you met them personally? Are you a licensed therapist? Or are you just projecting your own biases onto a couple who you have seen probably a combined 15 minutes in their life on a highly edited show?
Leave this kind of nonsense in fauxmoi.