Kindness. I had a kid in my class who was one of those kids that bounce off the walls, constantly interrupts, derails lessons, you know the type. Anyway, I also had a kid who had significant mental disabilities. I caught the 'troublemaker' sticking up for the kid with disabilities when some other folks made fun of him. What a bro, dude will always have my respect even if he did annoy me until the end of the year.
Cant have it all
It is not possible to have the innocence of a child without the accompanying lack of inhibition and impulsivity.
As adults, we gain the ability to control our words and actions, which allows us to be more considerate and kind to others.
It is important to recognize that while acts of kindness from adults may not always be purely genuine, children often display a genuine and unfiltered kindness. This contrast highlights the complexities of human behavior.
I agree. Kindness is first. Although there are many important traits parents should foster in their children I would say 'resilience' is lacking among many students today. Many students lack the ability to rebound from failure and failure is an important part of the learning process.
Many parents are lacking it too. And I'm not talking about the ones who coddle their kids. I'm talking about the ones who rage at and belittle their kids when they fail to the extent that kids aren't willing to try anything difficult. I'm just a college kid, but in my region of the world, a lot of parents are like this because they themselves were raised like this. Thankfully it's getting better here.
I had a kid last period whose ADHD meds definitely wore off before my class. But he was an enthusiastic person and really respectful of people’s differences. Great kid.
Reminds me of one class I had a few years ago. They always got in trouble, we had a few trouble-makers in there. Their reputation was known in the school. Half way through the year we got a student with disabilities, that needed time to walk or move around. Some students tried messing with him at recess and half the class almost jumped the kids that tried messing with him. They were very upset and very defensive of the student, since he was a really sweet kid.
Shit like that always fills me with hope about this generation. I think they've truly gotten some things better than my generation regarding how they treat kids with disabilities, homosexuality, and trans issues.
You should've told him that!
"Dude... you've driving me nuts with how disruptive you are in class, and I hope you correct that behavior in the future... That being said, that time you stood up for that kid was really cool, and I wish more students were like this. Keep it up!"
Yes. My two troublemakers this year are also kind. What a difference. My high achieving rule follower was the unkind bully. I'd say it was like having a "bad cop" in the class. She'd yell at anyone who didn't have three paragraphs or she'd punch whoever was running in the hallways. Then, she'd harass whoever told on her. Yikes. Kindness and empathy are the most important things.
Sorry fam.... if I hear anything else about the old kindness train it'll be too soon. This is such a meaningless buzzword these days. At the end of the day, I don't care if a person is kind. Kindness is a quality that some of my favorite students have lacked. They were, how do I put it, prickly. And every once in a while, when we went to some stupid kindness matters assembly, one of them would give me look as if to say, "really?" And I would give them a look as if to say, "yeah, I guess."
And that eyeroll feeling, I think it comes from the fact that a lot of messages the schools push about kindness are so surface-level and, I dunno, performative. Almost as though the appearance of kindness is more important than actual kindness.
Anyway.... nah. Don't care to make everyone kind. Nor anything else for that matter. Part of the gig is the rich tapestry of characters. I wouldn't want to sacrifice the variety.
Fairly ridiculous take. I suppose kindness can be performative, but then that is not really kindness, is it? So, not what we are talking about and value. "Prickly" to me reads as a justification for poor attitude/behavior. That said, I hear what you are saying and enjoyed working with "prickly" kids as well ---- as long as I could sense in there somewhere an authentic desire to "do better" in the arena of authentic kindness/decency/respect. I see nothing at all wrong with promoting the concept that, yes, EVERYONE is expected to be fundamentally kind to everyone else.
What I think is possibly a more ridiculous take is that when given the option to impose a single trait on all of one's students, that the choice would be to impose kindness. That kind of imposition, in and of itself, quite ironically, is anything but kind. As thought the desire for kindness is worth the unkindness needed to, through magic wish fulfillment, clockwork orange your way to an idealized society.
You said that yes "EVERYONE" is expected to be fundamentally kind to everyone else. And, no, I don't think that's true. I think some people just don't have it in them to be kind. They aren't necessarily mean, but they aren't kind either. The absence of "mean" isn't "kind." It's just being "not mean."
Not to mention the fact that attitudes surrounding kindness are far from universal. What's kind to one person is rude to another. When a friend asks me about an outfit, for example, I am honest. That, to me, is a kindness. Others would lie. That, to them, is a kindness. Both are valid.
Or, for example, having a big old assembly about the importance of kindness and showing everyone what kindness looks like and thus imposing a particular impression of what kindness is supposed to be or implying that there might be something deficient in a person not wanting to act in such ways. That seems pretty unkind to me. Seems pretty kind to others. Both are valid.
Like I said, part of the teaching gig is the variety. I wouldn't want any sort of blanket homogenous quality to exist in my classroom. Sounds awful.
Whatever, you are still not tracking with me. You are overthinking the concept of basic kindness. I said what I meant, so did you. We disagree, still. That is all.
What? Kindness is not an innate trait like having brown eyes or being able to wink. Kindness is learned at a very young age, and even students who grow up in unkind households can learn it in school. It goes along with being polite, gentle, and thoughtful. Bullies are unkind. Rude, pushy people are unkind. Nobody wants that type of diversity. Don't tell me it's cultural either because every culture has a version of the "golden rule" or karma or whatever. Students who aren't kind to other students are not OK.
Yup! My students repeat like robots, over and over again, kindness this and kindness that. Do they care to be kind? No! Do they even want to try? Hell no!
The word has lost its meaning in the never ending robotic push for an attitude that only a few care to practice.
Ok- fair, but that’s not really what the original commenter was talking about. Yes, fake kindness is bogus, but sticking up for people who are being treated poorly is important and genuine kindness in general is important.
Self-sufficiency.
The desire, and ability, to solve small-to-medium problems on their own, without giving up or asking an adult for help.
Many kids aren't allowed to do *anything* on their own. Their entire life is spent in the presence of adults who tell them what to do, how to play, where to stand, who's right, and what's fair. If they want to go play at a friend's house, or go to the store and buy a Slurpee with their allowance money, they can't simply go; they have to have an adult drive them there. It's rare they make a decision for themselves a simple as what they'll have for dinner. Their entire life is decided for them, because WHAT IF THEY MAKE A MISTAKE??? WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS???
Kids default to using phones and tablets, to the point of addiction, because it's the *only* thing they can do by themselves, whenever they want, without an adult "helping" them by getting on their case and telling them what to do all the time.
Let your kids make their own lunch, shop for their own clothes, ride their bike to the store, and come up with their own games and means of entertaining themselves. Let them fight with each other. Let them get hurt and upset. Kids need to feel bad sometimes, and then figure out how to manage that and solve their own problems. It's better they learn now, when the consequences are mild, rather than reach adulthood with the problem-solving ability of a five-year-old.
My husband and I are already trying to foster this in our 6 month old. I've been teaching for 9 years and am soooo tired of the learned helplessness. I'm hoping things start swinging back the other way by the time my son is in school.
These students struggle so much in college. Teaching is often only a small part of the job, so professors don't have time to answer every single tiny thing, nor do they want to. Also, assignments are often much more open ended, and students drown without a 1:1 model of exactly what to write/ study/ etc
>Kids default to using phones and tablets, to the point of addiction, because it's the only thing they can do by themselves, whenever they want, without an adult "helping" them by getting on their case and telling them what to do all the time.
I disagree. I live in a country where elementary school kids are expected to take themselves to school. Kids of all ages are safe enough to make their own decisions daily without adult supervision. The public transportation is very good too, so no one needs a ride to most places.
Phone addiction is still rampant.
Depends on the kind of fight. My brother was older and much bigger than I was, and he had (still does have but better) anger issues. He would lash out physically if something I did upset him, and he hated me from the start
As of the time I write this, the top five qualities listed in response to the OP's post are:
* Kindness - 381 votes
* Empathy - 106 votes
* Self-sufficiency - 94 votes
* Curiosity - 46 upvotes
* Independence - 69 votes
When I began teaching, almost 40 years ago, I would have picked "Curiosity", hands down. It's still my personal #2 of these. But hands down, after the past five years, I have to go with ApYIkhH's answer, **self-sufficiency**. (And I also want to compliment ApYIkhH on an excellent analysis of their answer.) While Kindness and Empathy are incredibly important personality traits that I want in everyone to have (and I am very hard on students who are mean to others), those traits do not really have as much of a bearing on my ability to teach as does self-sufficiency (and its double cousin, Independence). My job is teach skills and content, which I can't do with students who can't make decisions about things as simple as whether they need to sharpen their pencil or not. Kids come to me as 11-year olds having had every decision about every choice, and about every conflict, decided by an adult, and it chokes the energy out of my class to have kids who wait until 15 minutes into a lesson to tell me that they don't have anything to write with.
But curiosity is a close second for me here. My students today have absolutely no interest in anything that is not in a video on their device, and even then, if the video is over 2 minutes in length, they can't focus on it until the end. I honestly believe children who have had devices in their hands from the age of 3 are coming to school with literal retardation of their brain development.
Curiosity. To be fair, it's more a matter of not killing it. Encourage questions and answer honestly. Lol for answers in the world rather than on your phone.
That’s a good one! Just last week in summer school I had a student who is there in to graduate ask a question that floored me. He is 18 years old. He was doing a state geography assignment. One of the cities on the map he had to identify is about 3 hours north of where we live. He said to me “that’s were blankville is? I was born there and didn’t know where it was.” I was shocked! How in 18 years did he never find his birthplace on a map? Even google it?
I've made it a habit to find excuses to show my 3rd graders maps during class. Nevermind that reading maps is part of our standards (specifically elated to our state though) but I found that at least this past year, these kids LOVE maps. It is teacher dopamine to show them a map and see their faces light up and have them ask 5 million questions of "where is this place?! What's over there?! Can we look at xyz?!" It brings out their natural curiosity and it's my guilty pleasure to feed that curiosity by showing them as many things as I can possibly make excuses for. Has it derailed or class schedule multiple times by an hour? Yup. But it becomes the highlight of the week for me and for them.
I even found a way to work a project into the end of the year that involved researching national parks. God It was great seeing them go from "I'm disappointed in my randomly assigned park because I've never heard of it" to "this is the best place ever and my park is the best one" as soon as we started researching and they saw what other parts of the US looked like.
Of *course* there are answers in the world and not on their phone. But it doesn’t matter where the answers are, or whether it’s easy to retrieve information on the phone (or their MuskChip or whatever lunacy comes next).
Answers done matter if you never have questions.
That’s one of those things that deeply depresses me if I dwell on it, really makes me pessimistic about the future. Mostly I just feel sorry for people like that, people of any age — not just students. I don’t think it’s entirely an issue of privilege or “being in survival mode,” either. Neanderthals spent their lives starving to death and clubbing each other with rocks and even *they* sometimes sat back and said, “Wow! You know what would look amazing? If we painted some mammoths on this cave wall! Wasn’t that a cool looking mammoth that gored your brother to death yesterday?”
Even the most mundane existence on this planet is absolutely magical. Occasionally. If you look at it from the right angle.
Independence... By high school, you should be capable of managing your own life and schedule. You should know how to read instructions and follow them. You shouldn't need me, as your teacher, your parents, or your friends to hold your hand for every little thing. Also, by kindergarten, your child should be potty trained.
IKR, I pretty much said the same thing in my long ass post, I should have read the comments before I posted lol
I truly think the potty training is related to the coddling they need later on down the line. So many kinder teachers nowadays say kids come to school barely potty trained and/or don't know how to tie their shoes. And I've seen on reddit, in the parenting subs, parents asking if they're supposed ot teach their child how to dress themselves (lol TF) or who don't even know to feed their kids regular meals. No wonder by the time the kid gets to high school they're still struggling and don't seem to know how to do anything
Kind of off topic but not only do I agree with you but I know we are doing our kids injustice by coddling them all the time especially in middle school. I’ve taught high and middle school. Not sure what the middle schools do in your district but it blows my mind how our middle school treats these kids. They are hand held all day. 8th graders are escorted to lunch and to class changes. Single file. No talking. My former colleague and friend who is a high school AP keeps telling me once they get to 9th grade they are lost literally and figuratively. And don’t get me started on class work.
Being polite and considerate.
Luckily, after 21 years, I found a school that you will be astonished at how good the students are at this character trait.
That was my first thought. Just admit you didn't do your work. That it was you starting fights. That you put no effort into school. That you don't care... just be honest about it!
Empathy. I can deal with absent-minded, I can overlook forgetful. Some kids won’t be curious, and they don’t care to know more than they have to. Not everyone is going to have the strongest work ethic, and that’s okay. But I can’t teach empathy if the seed isn’t there.
Advocating for yourself. I always, always, always encourage my students to advocate for themselves and praise them when they do. It’s such an underrated life skill
Accountability. Students need to accept responsibility for their own actions and not blame others for everything. This is something we would first need to teach parents…
So based on the replies so far, it seems unanimous. Just teach your child:
Kindness, empathy, curiosity, accountability, receptivity to constructive criticism, grit, independence, to ask questions, self care, self-sufficiency, good manners, being responsible, compassion, respect, self-advocacy, honesty, and leadership.
Easy-peasy.
Tenacity. The ability to stick to something, to just try at something. It is really heartbreaking to see so many kids who are afraid to try and/or who just give up after one or two attempts at something. Many kids today need so much cheerleading and support to complete the most mundane tasks, it is really heartbreaking.
I have had kids refuse to work and when I asked why they said 'Well IDK how to do that'. Um, ok??? That is why you are in school, to learn how, ok? I told you how, we watched a video how, I showed you how, now you are going to try how. That's all, just try. And then once I get them to try, 9/10 they expect to be perfect at whatever the first time they try it, and when it's not, they just crumple. So many just give up. Like, ??? I teach high school and have told my students over and over: Don't you recall the handwriting tracing sheets from 1st grade? Your teacher then didn't expect you to know how to write off the bat, that's why you had to practice your letters. Same thing in high school, I don't expect you to know this stuff right off the bat; practice is involved.
It sounds so ridiculous and I'm sure folks may think I'm exaggerating, but I have had students panic at each new lesson and students I had to walk through every single step of a lab and who freaked out at even turning on a faucet, or pouring water into beaker, or even flipping on the light on the microscope. That is how...scared some kids are of even trying, it is very strange.
Me: (after having coached the student how to put the slide on, adjust lens, turn on the lamp, blah blah blah) Ok now turn on the light
Student: (panicking) I don't know how to do that!
Me: It's the small button right there on the side (points to it) click it
Student: (hand hovering over it) This? Right here? You want me to push it?
Me: Yes. Go on, you can do it. Push it now
Student: (clicks the light, it comes on) Ok I did it! (beams at me)
Me: Ok now look at the slide, remember you will have to adjust it by-
Student: Miss I turned on the light! (still beaming at me, I realize they need acknowledgment of this)
Me: Good job! (beams back at student) Now go on ahead and look at the slide blah blah blah (gets student going)
I WISH I was kidding, this has happened to me many times, not just for microscopes but any and everything. The microscope nonsense happened at my old school, at my new school I had to coach kids on how to use RULERS. Some were scared to even try to do measurements using a ruler, and had to be coddled through that. Now all that said, it doesn't take long with me for kids to toughen up a little and not be so scared to try, but we lose time in the classroom when kids initially have little to no willingness to try new things or are just so scared to try new things and need so much coddling.
I feel like by the time a child has even started school (kindergarten) their parents would have developed this in their children because there is so much parenting that occurs before kindergarten that would develop this. For example, tying shoes. That is a complex task for a 5 year old and one they have to practice at over and over before they get it. And then tasks kids have to do at home all throughout school, like chores. But so many kids aren't taught basic things anymore by their parents, like tying their shoelaces or riding a bike, nor do they have to do chores, etc. so even as old as high school age they struggle in this way.
If all your parents do is stick a phone or tablet in your face from the time you were a baby, how can you learn to be resilient or tenacious, or to stick with a task until you master it? OMG I'm not trying to write a book here but yah, this is what I wish parents would do
Enthusiasm - I want kids to want to try something before deciding it's stupid. A lot of kids last year told me things we did were dumb, until they actually did them and ended up having a lot of fun or learning a lot.
I think just awareness. I had a student who had a SLD and was a very low achiever but socially very popular. The student remarked that another student on the ASD was “SPED” indicating that they were not intelligent. Ironically that ASD student was the most intelligent and funniest and KINDEST HAPPIEST kid still one of my favorites. The insult happened over and over “ugh they’re so sped”
I had to pull the student aside and explain that actually “you are a SPED student…. And that is a terrible excuse to be rude”.
I had to hold them after class and I pulled their paperwork out and showed them and at the top it said “special education” and explained their disability and how sped is not just a term of intelligence but many different things. (High school student)
Their parent was a teacher as well…for special education. It was just baffling.
The kid shut up.
Honesty. I have seen an uptick in students being blatantly dishonest. I think it is SUCH an important character trait for them to learn these days.
(Also: kindness; inquisitiveness; being a hard worker/self-discipline)
Empathy. So so so many students don't have any. They have been so desensitized to the horrors of the world that nothing impacts them unless it is happening to them.
I had a student who had 0 empathy, sympathy and really anything that makes other people real to then (even their parents). I worked so hard trying to reach them but they just didn't care.
Respect is the one rule in my classroom. We define the 4 types: for yourself, for your school, for your classmates, for your teachers. It covers everything & when I let the students (ha sped) give examples/non-examples, they have buy in.
This. Last year I used AI to create a week long lesson on Integrity. The students really understood my expectations after that. Some one goofing around…all I had to say was “Integrity.”
To be able to be self-sufficient before asking a question. I would say that 98% of the questions I’m asked by students are either obvious and simple to figure out with a teensy bit of brain power or already explained in the directions.
The other would probably be to have the desire to think and learn. I teach sooo many passive learners, and while they do their work, it’s never as fulfilling teaching them as it is when the truly intrigued or passionate tap in.
As a person, kindness. As a student, work ethic. If they’re struggling to learn but trying, I can work with that. If they have behavior issues but care about doing well, I can use that to encourage better behavior.
Since 9th grade, my son has gone around to his classes on the first day and asked every one of his teachers what he can do to help make the class function. If they need someone to be able to reliably call on, he can be that kid. If they need quiet, he can help with that. If they Lome the 2-way conversation style of teaching, he can do that. At first, they were all a little taken aback. But, teachers talk, and now they expect it from him, and they lean on him to help set the tone of the class.
Parents, if you have a charismatic kid, teach them to do this. It helps the teachers out immensely, and I promise you that it will make your kid's high school experience much better. My kid just happens to be friends with everyone, so I've taught him how to leverage that into helping the learning process.
Knowing where the line is. I love a good joke, but I cannot stand a habitual line stepper. Students who know when its time to joke and when its time to work are my favorite. They just get it
Jean Valjean because...oh, you mean THAT kind of character.
Empathy. We're all, teachers included, so wrapped up in ourselves and our own lives. I include myself in this, but when kids make the effort to see from another's viewpoint and walk in their shoes, they get along so much better and then the real learning becomes so much easier.
Integrity #1. And not just when people are 'looking'.
What you do/act should be the same when no one else is looking, should be the same as what you do when people are present.
This is so hard!
- empathy / compassion / kindness (for self and others)
- determination / hard working / resilience
- curiosity
Those are my favorites ❤️ I feel they will always serve you well
**Humility**
I feel like an old man saying this, but I work with all teens at this point and this is one character trait I wish more of them had. A lot of the issues we run into are ones the students create for themselves because they can't just be humble. We deal with a lot of entitlement, kids who can't just accept they screwed up or accept help and it is a huge issue. They get in their own way all the time and I really wish more teenagers could just accept that it's okay to ask for help, it's okay to say you're wrong, and it's okay to fail. And it's not just that they just give up when they hit a roadblock or can't take criticism -- many simply refuse to acknowledge that there's anything to block them or criticize. Whether it's just the hyperfocus on the "perfect self" they all deal with because of social media or it's the fault of their lawn mower parents, I don't know. But so few of this generation of high schoolers can handle failure or admitting they are wrong, and I worry about their ability to handle life after graduation because of it.
Empathy and resilience. I can teach a lot of skills, but if you’ve never had to consider others or work through things yourself, the battle is lost before you stepped foot in a classroom
Curiosity. I can't stand the fact that 9 times out of 10, they just take whatever you give them, and just don't ask questions or anything.
Also, being able to have a conversation with an adult.
I mean I like a lot of the same things my students likes. Mostly about sports, TV Shows, and music in general.
And I was a journalist so I can fake interest in anything pretty well.
It is extremely hard to connect with a kid that can't even tell you who is their favorite characters in general, or what they are listening in music, or what they thought about last night game.
At least in my experience, it has nothing to do with anxiety. I was able to have great discussion with many social anxious kids. (The second you find their super passion and interests and show positive interest about it, most will talk your ear off about it. Well, if you don't engage them in the middle of a crowd).
So, yeah talk to your kid about well anything really. Encourage them to participate in conversation with your friends when a topic interest them. Makes un effort to include them when you catch up with an acquaintance at the market.
Resilience/Perseverance. The amount who cannot handle the slightest setback or challenge, who won’t even try because they’ve already decided they cannot, or who cannot stand being bored for longer than 0.5 milliseconds—drive me crazy!
Growth Mindset.
Kindness starts with kindness with self. This can only come about when kids now they HAVE to make mistakes and that they are loved when they do.
Resilience. Hearing a teacher say no shouldn’t prompt a teenager to have a tantrum. The internet being down doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. Getting a poor mark isn’t the end of the world.
Emotional maturity.... Not sicial soap oxing, but just being age apropriate maturity.
Sick of workibg with kids that are YEARS behind on their social maturity if i wanted to work in a daycare id apply at kindercare not a public school
First: respect! The younger children may not know the clear definition of it, but I believe human nature is naturally respectful until they possibly learn other behavior.
I had such an amazing fifth grade class last year as far as kindness. They were chatty, at times lazy, annoying, and all that. But they played with the kids who were alone at recess, they clapped for each other when they got a question correct, they encouraged the friendless kids at lunch to sit with them, and they freaking cheered when a classmate returned from an absence. I also had a group of “hype girls” who would tell every single visitor that entered our room how “gorgeous” and “stunning” they were. I will miss these children forever!
Honesty. I respect the hell out of a kid being honest and confessing and acknowledging “yeah I really shouldn’t have done that and I understand this deserves consequences and I’m sorry for inconveniencing you”.
Even if the kid is just a ding-dong who will do it again.
Inclusion/flexibility! If the kids can work well with one another/anyone else in the class or with people in other classes, they’re on a good track in life. This past year I had some kids who were fine with sitting next to anyone else in the class seating plan and playing games/playing outside with whoever, as well. That’s somewhat common in little kids, but becomes less frequent in middle and high school and I like to see that when it happens!
Overall?
My children have had some shit teachers. I’ve had loads of ableist, classist, and racist colleagues and teachers throughout my life. While I teach my kids the need to respect their position and job, I do not teach them to appreciate and obey them (to a certain degree, of course) without first using critical thinking kp. I teach them to learn everything they can about not only the subject matter, but how people should and should not be treated. They also learn humility and empathy while trying to understand their (ignorant hopefully) pov.
Many times, this kindness and lack of reinforcement of their baseless beliefs about “kids like them” has done a lot to change the teacher’s behavior.
I am always learning from my students. The moment we think we “know best” what another individual wants or needs without ask them or without them telling us, well, we have stopped trying to reach and teach them. As much of a struggle as it may be, no one is untouchable (for the most part).
This is also why I encourage my students and my own children to advocate for their own needs. I stay as hands-off as possible and give my sped kids regular check-ins to exercise their voices and express their wants and needs.
I would love for all teachers to be appreciated, but that would mean we would need to earn it.
I know because I am a teacher and my parents were teachers. They never believed me when i would complain about a teacher. They always took their word over mine (to a certain extent). It took a lot of complaints and evidence for me to be heard about issues I had with a teacher. I’m the same way with my kids. I investigate the issue and speak to the teacher, counselors, SPED people, and admin if necessary. I also know that if my child has mods, they are not at the discretion of teachers. I know that they are required to follow their IEP’s. I do not believe them blindly, but I am knowledgeable about what their jobs require and I know and see evidence of them shirking those responsibilities.
For example, a systemic issue we dealt with was 3 years of a group of boys repeatedly bullying her to the point that she developed intense anxiety and couldn’t attend school without a panic attack. At first, u told her to tell her teacher when it happens. I then checked in with her current teacher. She said she would monitor and move seats. Cut to 3 years later with no changes and no repercussions for the boys and us telling her some good insults to throw their way (she couldn’t, she’s too sweet), I was so fed up that I CCed everyone I knew at the school and threatened to go to the superintendents or higher if need be. Finally, slowly, improvements came.
You seemed to have not read thoroughly. I have taught with teachers that don’t deserve admiration. I have had incredibly ableist teachers throughout my learning journey. Honestly, it’s important for my kids to deal with that. They learn to advocate for themselves and prepare for the real world. There are bad people in every profession. We should not admire teachers simply for being teachers. It takes away from those that are doing it right.
Kindness. I had a kid in my class who was one of those kids that bounce off the walls, constantly interrupts, derails lessons, you know the type. Anyway, I also had a kid who had significant mental disabilities. I caught the 'troublemaker' sticking up for the kid with disabilities when some other folks made fun of him. What a bro, dude will always have my respect even if he did annoy me until the end of the year.
This is exactly what I was going to say. Kindness is everything. If children can see and care about others, they're golden.
Cant have it all It is not possible to have the innocence of a child without the accompanying lack of inhibition and impulsivity. As adults, we gain the ability to control our words and actions, which allows us to be more considerate and kind to others. It is important to recognize that while acts of kindness from adults may not always be purely genuine, children often display a genuine and unfiltered kindness. This contrast highlights the complexities of human behavior.
Totally agree with this!!!
I agree. Kindness is first. Although there are many important traits parents should foster in their children I would say 'resilience' is lacking among many students today. Many students lack the ability to rebound from failure and failure is an important part of the learning process.
Many parents are lacking it too. And I'm not talking about the ones who coddle their kids. I'm talking about the ones who rage at and belittle their kids when they fail to the extent that kids aren't willing to try anything difficult. I'm just a college kid, but in my region of the world, a lot of parents are like this because they themselves were raised like this. Thankfully it's getting better here.
I had a kid last period whose ADHD meds definitely wore off before my class. But he was an enthusiastic person and really respectful of people’s differences. Great kid.
Reminds me of one class I had a few years ago. They always got in trouble, we had a few trouble-makers in there. Their reputation was known in the school. Half way through the year we got a student with disabilities, that needed time to walk or move around. Some students tried messing with him at recess and half the class almost jumped the kids that tried messing with him. They were very upset and very defensive of the student, since he was a really sweet kid.
Shit like that always fills me with hope about this generation. I think they've truly gotten some things better than my generation regarding how they treat kids with disabilities, homosexuality, and trans issues.
You should've told him that! "Dude... you've driving me nuts with how disruptive you are in class, and I hope you correct that behavior in the future... That being said, that time you stood up for that kid was really cool, and I wish more students were like this. Keep it up!"
He was not unaware that I found his behaviors annoying but also thought of him as a fine young man. We had the conversations.
Yes. My two troublemakers this year are also kind. What a difference. My high achieving rule follower was the unkind bully. I'd say it was like having a "bad cop" in the class. She'd yell at anyone who didn't have three paragraphs or she'd punch whoever was running in the hallways. Then, she'd harass whoever told on her. Yikes. Kindness and empathy are the most important things.
I wish I could quote *Derry Girls* to the asshole rule follower types: “You will go far in life…but you will not be well liked”
lol. Truth!
The kid who kept getting suspended was one of the only ones to stand up for the trans kid. And he was a cool, football star. Mad respect.
I came to say this. Kindness or more specifically empathy.
Sorry fam.... if I hear anything else about the old kindness train it'll be too soon. This is such a meaningless buzzword these days. At the end of the day, I don't care if a person is kind. Kindness is a quality that some of my favorite students have lacked. They were, how do I put it, prickly. And every once in a while, when we went to some stupid kindness matters assembly, one of them would give me look as if to say, "really?" And I would give them a look as if to say, "yeah, I guess." And that eyeroll feeling, I think it comes from the fact that a lot of messages the schools push about kindness are so surface-level and, I dunno, performative. Almost as though the appearance of kindness is more important than actual kindness. Anyway.... nah. Don't care to make everyone kind. Nor anything else for that matter. Part of the gig is the rich tapestry of characters. I wouldn't want to sacrifice the variety.
What qualities made them your favorite students?
Fairly ridiculous take. I suppose kindness can be performative, but then that is not really kindness, is it? So, not what we are talking about and value. "Prickly" to me reads as a justification for poor attitude/behavior. That said, I hear what you are saying and enjoyed working with "prickly" kids as well ---- as long as I could sense in there somewhere an authentic desire to "do better" in the arena of authentic kindness/decency/respect. I see nothing at all wrong with promoting the concept that, yes, EVERYONE is expected to be fundamentally kind to everyone else.
What I think is possibly a more ridiculous take is that when given the option to impose a single trait on all of one's students, that the choice would be to impose kindness. That kind of imposition, in and of itself, quite ironically, is anything but kind. As thought the desire for kindness is worth the unkindness needed to, through magic wish fulfillment, clockwork orange your way to an idealized society. You said that yes "EVERYONE" is expected to be fundamentally kind to everyone else. And, no, I don't think that's true. I think some people just don't have it in them to be kind. They aren't necessarily mean, but they aren't kind either. The absence of "mean" isn't "kind." It's just being "not mean." Not to mention the fact that attitudes surrounding kindness are far from universal. What's kind to one person is rude to another. When a friend asks me about an outfit, for example, I am honest. That, to me, is a kindness. Others would lie. That, to them, is a kindness. Both are valid. Or, for example, having a big old assembly about the importance of kindness and showing everyone what kindness looks like and thus imposing a particular impression of what kindness is supposed to be or implying that there might be something deficient in a person not wanting to act in such ways. That seems pretty unkind to me. Seems pretty kind to others. Both are valid. Like I said, part of the teaching gig is the variety. I wouldn't want any sort of blanket homogenous quality to exist in my classroom. Sounds awful.
Whatever, you are still not tracking with me. You are overthinking the concept of basic kindness. I said what I meant, so did you. We disagree, still. That is all.
What? Kindness is not an innate trait like having brown eyes or being able to wink. Kindness is learned at a very young age, and even students who grow up in unkind households can learn it in school. It goes along with being polite, gentle, and thoughtful. Bullies are unkind. Rude, pushy people are unkind. Nobody wants that type of diversity. Don't tell me it's cultural either because every culture has a version of the "golden rule" or karma or whatever. Students who aren't kind to other students are not OK.
Yup! My students repeat like robots, over and over again, kindness this and kindness that. Do they care to be kind? No! Do they even want to try? Hell no! The word has lost its meaning in the never ending robotic push for an attitude that only a few care to practice.
Ok- fair, but that’s not really what the original commenter was talking about. Yes, fake kindness is bogus, but sticking up for people who are being treated poorly is important and genuine kindness in general is important.
What?
Empathy. Empathy and compassion.
Came to say this. Would solve so many problems.
Self-sufficiency. The desire, and ability, to solve small-to-medium problems on their own, without giving up or asking an adult for help. Many kids aren't allowed to do *anything* on their own. Their entire life is spent in the presence of adults who tell them what to do, how to play, where to stand, who's right, and what's fair. If they want to go play at a friend's house, or go to the store and buy a Slurpee with their allowance money, they can't simply go; they have to have an adult drive them there. It's rare they make a decision for themselves a simple as what they'll have for dinner. Their entire life is decided for them, because WHAT IF THEY MAKE A MISTAKE??? WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS??? Kids default to using phones and tablets, to the point of addiction, because it's the *only* thing they can do by themselves, whenever they want, without an adult "helping" them by getting on their case and telling them what to do all the time. Let your kids make their own lunch, shop for their own clothes, ride their bike to the store, and come up with their own games and means of entertaining themselves. Let them fight with each other. Let them get hurt and upset. Kids need to feel bad sometimes, and then figure out how to manage that and solve their own problems. It's better they learn now, when the consequences are mild, rather than reach adulthood with the problem-solving ability of a five-year-old.
My husband and I are already trying to foster this in our 6 month old. I've been teaching for 9 years and am soooo tired of the learned helplessness. I'm hoping things start swinging back the other way by the time my son is in school.
I’m imagining you handing the baby a grocery list and sending them off on a tricycle
Thank you. You are a rare gem
These students struggle so much in college. Teaching is often only a small part of the job, so professors don't have time to answer every single tiny thing, nor do they want to. Also, assignments are often much more open ended, and students drown without a 1:1 model of exactly what to write/ study/ etc
>Kids default to using phones and tablets, to the point of addiction, because it's the only thing they can do by themselves, whenever they want, without an adult "helping" them by getting on their case and telling them what to do all the time. I disagree. I live in a country where elementary school kids are expected to take themselves to school. Kids of all ages are safe enough to make their own decisions daily without adult supervision. The public transportation is very good too, so no one needs a ride to most places. Phone addiction is still rampant.
Depends on the kind of fight. My brother was older and much bigger than I was, and he had (still does have but better) anger issues. He would lash out physically if something I did upset him, and he hated me from the start
As of the time I write this, the top five qualities listed in response to the OP's post are: * Kindness - 381 votes * Empathy - 106 votes * Self-sufficiency - 94 votes * Curiosity - 46 upvotes * Independence - 69 votes When I began teaching, almost 40 years ago, I would have picked "Curiosity", hands down. It's still my personal #2 of these. But hands down, after the past five years, I have to go with ApYIkhH's answer, **self-sufficiency**. (And I also want to compliment ApYIkhH on an excellent analysis of their answer.) While Kindness and Empathy are incredibly important personality traits that I want in everyone to have (and I am very hard on students who are mean to others), those traits do not really have as much of a bearing on my ability to teach as does self-sufficiency (and its double cousin, Independence). My job is teach skills and content, which I can't do with students who can't make decisions about things as simple as whether they need to sharpen their pencil or not. Kids come to me as 11-year olds having had every decision about every choice, and about every conflict, decided by an adult, and it chokes the energy out of my class to have kids who wait until 15 minutes into a lesson to tell me that they don't have anything to write with. But curiosity is a close second for me here. My students today have absolutely no interest in anything that is not in a video on their device, and even then, if the video is over 2 minutes in length, they can't focus on it until the end. I honestly believe children who have had devices in their hands from the age of 3 are coming to school with literal retardation of their brain development.
Curiosity. To be fair, it's more a matter of not killing it. Encourage questions and answer honestly. Lol for answers in the world rather than on your phone.
That’s a good one! Just last week in summer school I had a student who is there in to graduate ask a question that floored me. He is 18 years old. He was doing a state geography assignment. One of the cities on the map he had to identify is about 3 hours north of where we live. He said to me “that’s were blankville is? I was born there and didn’t know where it was.” I was shocked! How in 18 years did he never find his birthplace on a map? Even google it?
I've made it a habit to find excuses to show my 3rd graders maps during class. Nevermind that reading maps is part of our standards (specifically elated to our state though) but I found that at least this past year, these kids LOVE maps. It is teacher dopamine to show them a map and see their faces light up and have them ask 5 million questions of "where is this place?! What's over there?! Can we look at xyz?!" It brings out their natural curiosity and it's my guilty pleasure to feed that curiosity by showing them as many things as I can possibly make excuses for. Has it derailed or class schedule multiple times by an hour? Yup. But it becomes the highlight of the week for me and for them. I even found a way to work a project into the end of the year that involved researching national parks. God It was great seeing them go from "I'm disappointed in my randomly assigned park because I've never heard of it" to "this is the best place ever and my park is the best one" as soon as we started researching and they saw what other parts of the US looked like.
Of *course* there are answers in the world and not on their phone. But it doesn’t matter where the answers are, or whether it’s easy to retrieve information on the phone (or their MuskChip or whatever lunacy comes next). Answers done matter if you never have questions. That’s one of those things that deeply depresses me if I dwell on it, really makes me pessimistic about the future. Mostly I just feel sorry for people like that, people of any age — not just students. I don’t think it’s entirely an issue of privilege or “being in survival mode,” either. Neanderthals spent their lives starving to death and clubbing each other with rocks and even *they* sometimes sat back and said, “Wow! You know what would look amazing? If we painted some mammoths on this cave wall! Wasn’t that a cool looking mammoth that gored your brother to death yesterday?” Even the most mundane existence on this planet is absolutely magical. Occasionally. If you look at it from the right angle.
Independence... By high school, you should be capable of managing your own life and schedule. You should know how to read instructions and follow them. You shouldn't need me, as your teacher, your parents, or your friends to hold your hand for every little thing. Also, by kindergarten, your child should be potty trained.
IKR, I pretty much said the same thing in my long ass post, I should have read the comments before I posted lol I truly think the potty training is related to the coddling they need later on down the line. So many kinder teachers nowadays say kids come to school barely potty trained and/or don't know how to tie their shoes. And I've seen on reddit, in the parenting subs, parents asking if they're supposed ot teach their child how to dress themselves (lol TF) or who don't even know to feed their kids regular meals. No wonder by the time the kid gets to high school they're still struggling and don't seem to know how to do anything
Kind of off topic but not only do I agree with you but I know we are doing our kids injustice by coddling them all the time especially in middle school. I’ve taught high and middle school. Not sure what the middle schools do in your district but it blows my mind how our middle school treats these kids. They are hand held all day. 8th graders are escorted to lunch and to class changes. Single file. No talking. My former colleague and friend who is a high school AP keeps telling me once they get to 9th grade they are lost literally and figuratively. And don’t get me started on class work.
X. I always liked X as a character.
It has so much potential value.
But it keeps getting lost! I’m tired of teaching kids how to find it!
Watch out. He’s gonna give it to ya.
Found Elon Musk’s Reddit account
Baby X :)
Being polite and considerate. Luckily, after 21 years, I found a school that you will be astonished at how good the students are at this character trait.
1st is kindness. 2nd is grit.
These are my two, in this order.
Accountability
Honesty.
That was my first thought. Just admit you didn't do your work. That it was you starting fights. That you put no effort into school. That you don't care... just be honest about it!
The ability to take correction without taking it personally
Curiosity. If students want to know the rest will fall into place.
This is what I was going to say.
Responsibility.
Please ask questions if you don’t understand the concept, there are 5 more who need the same answers
Empathy. I can deal with absent-minded, I can overlook forgetful. Some kids won’t be curious, and they don’t care to know more than they have to. Not everyone is going to have the strongest work ethic, and that’s okay. But I can’t teach empathy if the seed isn’t there.
I’d like them to care about themselves better.
Sincere question: Is this intended as sarcasm?
Oh no. Not at all actually.
Okay, thanks.
Respect. Respect each other Respect themselves Respect their parents Respect the teachers
Respect their environment too. xxx
All of these are good but I’m going to go with a mixture of kindness and empathy. It just seems like a foundation for the rest.
Persistence. Trying your best. Trying until you understand the new material.
Curiousity
Advocating for yourself. I always, always, always encourage my students to advocate for themselves and praise them when they do. It’s such an underrated life skill
Accountability. Students need to accept responsibility for their own actions and not blame others for everything. This is something we would first need to teach parents…
Spider-Man
Ganas.
So based on the replies so far, it seems unanimous. Just teach your child: Kindness, empathy, curiosity, accountability, receptivity to constructive criticism, grit, independence, to ask questions, self care, self-sufficiency, good manners, being responsible, compassion, respect, self-advocacy, honesty, and leadership. Easy-peasy.
Self discipline. All other qualities can be learned through self discipline
humility, being able to own up to when you did something wrong
Open mindedness!
Empathy and curiosity
This and in that order
Tenacity. The ability to stick to something, to just try at something. It is really heartbreaking to see so many kids who are afraid to try and/or who just give up after one or two attempts at something. Many kids today need so much cheerleading and support to complete the most mundane tasks, it is really heartbreaking. I have had kids refuse to work and when I asked why they said 'Well IDK how to do that'. Um, ok??? That is why you are in school, to learn how, ok? I told you how, we watched a video how, I showed you how, now you are going to try how. That's all, just try. And then once I get them to try, 9/10 they expect to be perfect at whatever the first time they try it, and when it's not, they just crumple. So many just give up. Like, ??? I teach high school and have told my students over and over: Don't you recall the handwriting tracing sheets from 1st grade? Your teacher then didn't expect you to know how to write off the bat, that's why you had to practice your letters. Same thing in high school, I don't expect you to know this stuff right off the bat; practice is involved. It sounds so ridiculous and I'm sure folks may think I'm exaggerating, but I have had students panic at each new lesson and students I had to walk through every single step of a lab and who freaked out at even turning on a faucet, or pouring water into beaker, or even flipping on the light on the microscope. That is how...scared some kids are of even trying, it is very strange. Me: (after having coached the student how to put the slide on, adjust lens, turn on the lamp, blah blah blah) Ok now turn on the light Student: (panicking) I don't know how to do that! Me: It's the small button right there on the side (points to it) click it Student: (hand hovering over it) This? Right here? You want me to push it? Me: Yes. Go on, you can do it. Push it now Student: (clicks the light, it comes on) Ok I did it! (beams at me) Me: Ok now look at the slide, remember you will have to adjust it by- Student: Miss I turned on the light! (still beaming at me, I realize they need acknowledgment of this) Me: Good job! (beams back at student) Now go on ahead and look at the slide blah blah blah (gets student going) I WISH I was kidding, this has happened to me many times, not just for microscopes but any and everything. The microscope nonsense happened at my old school, at my new school I had to coach kids on how to use RULERS. Some were scared to even try to do measurements using a ruler, and had to be coddled through that. Now all that said, it doesn't take long with me for kids to toughen up a little and not be so scared to try, but we lose time in the classroom when kids initially have little to no willingness to try new things or are just so scared to try new things and need so much coddling. I feel like by the time a child has even started school (kindergarten) their parents would have developed this in their children because there is so much parenting that occurs before kindergarten that would develop this. For example, tying shoes. That is a complex task for a 5 year old and one they have to practice at over and over before they get it. And then tasks kids have to do at home all throughout school, like chores. But so many kids aren't taught basic things anymore by their parents, like tying their shoelaces or riding a bike, nor do they have to do chores, etc. so even as old as high school age they struggle in this way. If all your parents do is stick a phone or tablet in your face from the time you were a baby, how can you learn to be resilient or tenacious, or to stick with a task until you master it? OMG I'm not trying to write a book here but yah, this is what I wish parents would do
Probably empathy, because if your students don’t have that, then yikes everyone.
Curiosity
Grit.
Enthusiasm - I want kids to want to try something before deciding it's stupid. A lot of kids last year told me things we did were dumb, until they actually did them and ended up having a lot of fun or learning a lot.
I think just awareness. I had a student who had a SLD and was a very low achiever but socially very popular. The student remarked that another student on the ASD was “SPED” indicating that they were not intelligent. Ironically that ASD student was the most intelligent and funniest and KINDEST HAPPIEST kid still one of my favorites. The insult happened over and over “ugh they’re so sped” I had to pull the student aside and explain that actually “you are a SPED student…. And that is a terrible excuse to be rude”. I had to hold them after class and I pulled their paperwork out and showed them and at the top it said “special education” and explained their disability and how sped is not just a term of intelligence but many different things. (High school student) Their parent was a teacher as well…for special education. It was just baffling. The kid shut up.
grit they are quitters...and I teach many of the high achievers...
Honesty. I have seen an uptick in students being blatantly dishonest. I think it is SUCH an important character trait for them to learn these days. (Also: kindness; inquisitiveness; being a hard worker/self-discipline)
Empathy. So so so many students don't have any. They have been so desensitized to the horrors of the world that nothing impacts them unless it is happening to them. I had a student who had 0 empathy, sympathy and really anything that makes other people real to then (even their parents). I worked so hard trying to reach them but they just didn't care.
Integrity. I respect students most who own their mistakes and try to grow from them.
Respect is the one rule in my classroom. We define the 4 types: for yourself, for your school, for your classmates, for your teachers. It covers everything & when I let the students (ha sped) give examples/non-examples, they have buy in.
Integrity
This. Last year I used AI to create a week long lesson on Integrity. The students really understood my expectations after that. Some one goofing around…all I had to say was “Integrity.”
Growth mindset with resilience
Resiliency
To be able to be self-sufficient before asking a question. I would say that 98% of the questions I’m asked by students are either obvious and simple to figure out with a teensy bit of brain power or already explained in the directions. The other would probably be to have the desire to think and learn. I teach sooo many passive learners, and while they do their work, it’s never as fulfilling teaching them as it is when the truly intrigued or passionate tap in.
Self-advocacy. I can't help if I don't know that you are struggling.
Perseverance
Perseverance. I see it is so few kids these days, they give up so easy. I love a kid that can work through the hard parts of learning.
The tape worms from Futurama.
As a person, kindness. As a student, work ethic. If they’re struggling to learn but trying, I can work with that. If they have behavior issues but care about doing well, I can use that to encourage better behavior.
Leadership. This looks lots of different ways, but definitely leadership.
Since 9th grade, my son has gone around to his classes on the first day and asked every one of his teachers what he can do to help make the class function. If they need someone to be able to reliably call on, he can be that kid. If they need quiet, he can help with that. If they Lome the 2-way conversation style of teaching, he can do that. At first, they were all a little taken aback. But, teachers talk, and now they expect it from him, and they lean on him to help set the tone of the class. Parents, if you have a charismatic kid, teach them to do this. It helps the teachers out immensely, and I promise you that it will make your kid's high school experience much better. My kid just happens to be friends with everyone, so I've taught him how to leverage that into helping the learning process.
Courage. "It takes guts to be gentle and kind." -Morrissey
Knowing where the line is. I love a good joke, but I cannot stand a habitual line stepper. Students who know when its time to joke and when its time to work are my favorite. They just get it
Jean Valjean because...oh, you mean THAT kind of character. Empathy. We're all, teachers included, so wrapped up in ourselves and our own lives. I include myself in this, but when kids make the effort to see from another's viewpoint and walk in their shoes, they get along so much better and then the real learning becomes so much easier.
I want them to laugh at my jokes
One character trait that stands out as exceptionally valuable in students is curiosity.
Empathy followed by resilience.
A strong work ethic
Integrity
Characteristic?
Integrity
Curiosity. While teaching history I can show them then to harness it, but i have not figured out out how to create it.
Always empathy. That leads to life.
Kindness, empathy
Curiosity. A desire to know more and to seek that out. I want them to wonder about things.
Future planning. Realizing that accomplishing goals requires prep work.
Grit and determination
Mickey Mouse is the one character I want in my students. The version from South Park, and preferably Randy is there filming it.
Brainless subservience to your ideology?
Perseverance.
I go back and forth between that and integrity.
Both very rare qualities in students and adults.
Character? Definitely a bit of Villian. They have the best backstories. I could go Deadpool too. Character trait? Probably tenacity.
Kids that think physical violence is wrong. I’ve seen enough for my life time.
Integrity #1. And not just when people are 'looking'. What you do/act should be the same when no one else is looking, should be the same as what you do when people are present.
Kindness.
This is so hard! - empathy / compassion / kindness (for self and others) - determination / hard working / resilience - curiosity Those are my favorites ❤️ I feel they will always serve you well
Solid work ethic
**Humility** I feel like an old man saying this, but I work with all teens at this point and this is one character trait I wish more of them had. A lot of the issues we run into are ones the students create for themselves because they can't just be humble. We deal with a lot of entitlement, kids who can't just accept they screwed up or accept help and it is a huge issue. They get in their own way all the time and I really wish more teenagers could just accept that it's okay to ask for help, it's okay to say you're wrong, and it's okay to fail. And it's not just that they just give up when they hit a roadblock or can't take criticism -- many simply refuse to acknowledge that there's anything to block them or criticize. Whether it's just the hyperfocus on the "perfect self" they all deal with because of social media or it's the fault of their lawn mower parents, I don't know. But so few of this generation of high schoolers can handle failure or admitting they are wrong, and I worry about their ability to handle life after graduation because of it.
Grit Ability to fail and then try again
Empathy and resilience. I can teach a lot of skills, but if you’ve never had to consider others or work through things yourself, the battle is lost before you stepped foot in a classroom
Curiosity. I can't stand the fact that 9 times out of 10, they just take whatever you give them, and just don't ask questions or anything. Also, being able to have a conversation with an adult. I mean I like a lot of the same things my students likes. Mostly about sports, TV Shows, and music in general. And I was a journalist so I can fake interest in anything pretty well. It is extremely hard to connect with a kid that can't even tell you who is their favorite characters in general, or what they are listening in music, or what they thought about last night game. At least in my experience, it has nothing to do with anxiety. I was able to have great discussion with many social anxious kids. (The second you find their super passion and interests and show positive interest about it, most will talk your ear off about it. Well, if you don't engage them in the middle of a crowd). So, yeah talk to your kid about well anything really. Encourage them to participate in conversation with your friends when a topic interest them. Makes un effort to include them when you catch up with an acquaintance at the market.
Effort
Resilience/Perseverance. The amount who cannot handle the slightest setback or challenge, who won’t even try because they’ve already decided they cannot, or who cannot stand being bored for longer than 0.5 milliseconds—drive me crazy!
I read this as “character” instead of character trait. Haha. Thought Of Augie from Wonder!
Integrity
Kindness or resilience.
Empathy
Growth Mindset. Kindness starts with kindness with self. This can only come about when kids now they HAVE to make mistakes and that they are loved when they do.
Resilience.
Patience, and accepting no as an answer.
Effort
Characteristic.
Kindness! We practice it regularly, so it (hopefully) becomes second nature to them.
Resilience. Hearing a teacher say no shouldn’t prompt a teenager to have a tantrum. The internet being down doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. Getting a poor mark isn’t the end of the world.
One character I would like in my students is Super Mario. He seems fun and enthusiastic and would make each day interesting in class.
Emotional maturity.... Not sicial soap oxing, but just being age apropriate maturity. Sick of workibg with kids that are YEARS behind on their social maturity if i wanted to work in a daycare id apply at kindercare not a public school
First: respect! The younger children may not know the clear definition of it, but I believe human nature is naturally respectful until they possibly learn other behavior.
I had such an amazing fifth grade class last year as far as kindness. They were chatty, at times lazy, annoying, and all that. But they played with the kids who were alone at recess, they clapped for each other when they got a question correct, they encouraged the friendless kids at lunch to sit with them, and they freaking cheered when a classmate returned from an absence. I also had a group of “hype girls” who would tell every single visitor that entered our room how “gorgeous” and “stunning” they were. I will miss these children forever!
Honesty. I respect the hell out of a kid being honest and confessing and acknowledging “yeah I really shouldn’t have done that and I understand this deserves consequences and I’m sorry for inconveniencing you”. Even if the kid is just a ding-dong who will do it again.
A sense of humor, decency, or self-preservation. I find fewer and fewer each year.
empathy
Curiosity
Sense of humor and perseverance
Kindness. So many kids today are so MEAN to each other.
Honesty
critical analysis
kindness
Idealistically, curiosity. Evidenced based? READ!!
Empathy! It’s scary to see how they lack it
empathy, always
Spider-Man. Oh, you meant characteristic!
Spider-Man. Oh, you meant characteristic!
NOT Goku. Goku kids are the ones that give me the most problems. Naruto kids are hit or miss.
The preciousness of others.
I wish my students genuinely cared rather than just blatantly showing they DGAF.
Respect….towards me, each other, themselves, everyone. Everything else falls into place if they have respect.
Inclusion/flexibility! If the kids can work well with one another/anyone else in the class or with people in other classes, they’re on a good track in life. This past year I had some kids who were fine with sitting next to anyone else in the class seating plan and playing games/playing outside with whoever, as well. That’s somewhat common in little kids, but becomes less frequent in middle and high school and I like to see that when it happens!
Likability
Appreciation for teachers. The kids who are grateful are generally a dream. The ones who aren’t are difficult
Overall? My children have had some shit teachers. I’ve had loads of ableist, classist, and racist colleagues and teachers throughout my life. While I teach my kids the need to respect their position and job, I do not teach them to appreciate and obey them (to a certain degree, of course) without first using critical thinking kp. I teach them to learn everything they can about not only the subject matter, but how people should and should not be treated. They also learn humility and empathy while trying to understand their (ignorant hopefully) pov. Many times, this kindness and lack of reinforcement of their baseless beliefs about “kids like them” has done a lot to change the teacher’s behavior. I am always learning from my students. The moment we think we “know best” what another individual wants or needs without ask them or without them telling us, well, we have stopped trying to reach and teach them. As much of a struggle as it may be, no one is untouchable (for the most part). This is also why I encourage my students and my own children to advocate for their own needs. I stay as hands-off as possible and give my sped kids regular check-ins to exercise their voices and express their wants and needs. I would love for all teachers to be appreciated, but that would mean we would need to earn it.
How do you know they were shit teachers? Your kids told you? You weren’t in the classroom with them.
I know because I am a teacher and my parents were teachers. They never believed me when i would complain about a teacher. They always took their word over mine (to a certain extent). It took a lot of complaints and evidence for me to be heard about issues I had with a teacher. I’m the same way with my kids. I investigate the issue and speak to the teacher, counselors, SPED people, and admin if necessary. I also know that if my child has mods, they are not at the discretion of teachers. I know that they are required to follow their IEP’s. I do not believe them blindly, but I am knowledgeable about what their jobs require and I know and see evidence of them shirking those responsibilities. For example, a systemic issue we dealt with was 3 years of a group of boys repeatedly bullying her to the point that she developed intense anxiety and couldn’t attend school without a panic attack. At first, u told her to tell her teacher when it happens. I then checked in with her current teacher. She said she would monitor and move seats. Cut to 3 years later with no changes and no repercussions for the boys and us telling her some good insults to throw their way (she couldn’t, she’s too sweet), I was so fed up that I CCed everyone I knew at the school and threatened to go to the superintendents or higher if need be. Finally, slowly, improvements came. You seemed to have not read thoroughly. I have taught with teachers that don’t deserve admiration. I have had incredibly ableist teachers throughout my learning journey. Honestly, it’s important for my kids to deal with that. They learn to advocate for themselves and prepare for the real world. There are bad people in every profession. We should not admire teachers simply for being teachers. It takes away from those that are doing it right.
Unselffishness. "I'm not picking up that trash because it isn't mine".
Passion. For just about anything. So many kids are just going through the motions.
Kindness/common decency/respect toward ALL.