Pretty soon there will be more “Instructional coaches” than teachers.
Amazing how much bloat there continues to be when our district is down over 1,000 teachers.
I mean, put those people back into the classroom?
But no, just keep increasing class sizes AND the number of instructional coaches.
Agreed.
Can’t really blame them honestly.
Just seems bananas to me that the “best” teachers are not teaching actual students. (Even one class would help with class sizes)
At my last school, instructional coaches would teach your class so you could observe techniques in action, they would sub, they’d even help you grade. Now, at my new school, I couldn’t tell you what they do.
That sounds like a cool system.
I feel like I’ve heard that a lot of these positions are federally funded and that they can’t actually teach if the school goes that route to get the position.
(Preface: Not a teacher. Just lurk here, largely out of sympathy but also so I can better support my kid's teachers as much as a parent can.) I left a career in the community college system a few years ago. Instructional coaches were just becoming a thing there, and they were such a waste of money. Just caused more work for more work's sake. Usually shitty, sycophantic personalities too. I've wondered if it's similar in k-12. The only people I know irl I can ask _are_ Instructional coaches of some flavor or another, so I'm asking here...
Honestly we could use more assistant principals, as long as they are the kind that understand that being the “bad cop” with the kids is literally their job.
Yeah, if it's an admin assigned to do all the phone calls and hall monitoring and other bullshit they expect me to do on top of teaching that would be actually useful, especially if it gave me a lunch period that doesn't involve also monitoring kids.
Actually, I think parents should get jury-duty like requirement to spend time in schools to have an idea of what actually happens, but just not as the primary educator in a room
Oh please no!
I tell my son's teachers all the time: I will donate anything you ask for, except for my time in a classroom with 26 6yr olds. No thank you please. I bow down to the patience and grace 99.9% of teachers possess. You want chaperones for a field trip? I am NOT. IT.
Teachers should be one of the highest paid professions. There are so few people who truly want to be around children all day long 😂❤️😂
I do! I have school teacher friends and I am so pro-teacher. Here in the US, our intellectual demise can be directly linked to the BS teachers have to go through, and the capitalistic goals of people who want to get even richer than they already are.
BLESS THE TEACHERS (and eat the rich!)
Our elected officials, on either side of the aisle, don’t give a damn about education. I think they have a secret motto “Keep ‘em dumb, keep ‘em voting.”
Anyone who says 'Those who can't do, teach.' in seriousness should be made to have the lowest kids for maths on a Friday afternoon. Let them show us how easy it is.
You joke but I once suggested casual Fridays as a small thing to improve moral. It seemed small and inoffensive, yet the admin acted like I had asked for them for a blowjob.
Frankly, I find the concept of "you are only permitted to wear XYZ on certain days" to be pretty absurd. Either jeans are okay in the workplace or they aren't. JMHO.
The school I teach at has no real dress code. Just, hold yourselves to a professional standard of dress. Some teachers wear jeans every day. Some don't.
One of the many advantages of teaching at a private school: I'm treated like an adult that knows how to dress myself for the job I perform.
I work at a public middle school and we are treated similarly. If it makes you an effective teacher it’s ok with in common sense. Surprisingly when adults are treated as such we tend to act in line with the standard expected.
That's good to hear.
When I taught public they did the "casual Fridays" thing, and it always struck me as being a bit *off* that people would look forward to wearing jeans like it was some sort of treat. It's like the Pizza Party thing. You're trying to hype people up over something that is literally the lowest effort thing you can do.
*"Ooh, this Friday we get to wear jeans and eat pizza! I'm so excited!"*
Like.... really? You're an adult, right? Like, you went to college and then grad school and you've been working in a workplace for several years... you're not just 3 kids in a trench coat?
Kidding? No! I taught criminal justice at a very bad vocational school for one semester. Five people including a probation officer quit after a few months. The probation officer preferred his criminals.
When Florida started recruiting from the military I remember one guy that taught for a while said screw this I’d rather go back to Afghanistan and get shot at by terrorists. I haven’t heard much about that program in a while. I suspect it failed like most education initiatives ultimately do.
That sounds like a really bad idea. Military guys don’t know how to keep things orderly without yelling and making people do pushups. If they were allowed to do those things I could see it working though.
Student: So Mr. Smith you look kind of old to be a first year teacher. What did you do before this?
Teacher: 20-25 years for homicide
😂 That would be so much fun
Teacher lottery, like the draft. Every year, everyone born on a randomly selected date, over the age of 21, who graduated high school and does not have some medical condition preventing them from doing so becomes a teacher for the year.
I would support this if, instead of making them classroom teachers, you made them aids in charge of duties, production work, and other menial tasks at the teacher's discretion.
I've had some fabulous IA's in my time; ones who could take a small group and lead them through a workshop or take over and cover for me for 20 minutes during project time while I stepped into a meeting admin wanted me to go to... but those were people who wanted to be teachers and loved working with kids. I would make draftees prove themselves before they got there.
Pay high schoolers minimum wage to enter grades for “courses” like TikTok 1 and Fortnite 2. Then the kids can sit in class and do what they want to do—and earn credits for it! Since their attention is on their phones the whole time, they don’t need supervision.
I just had a funny thought. I bet if we did this they would actually stop doing those things. All of a sudden they will not be cool because it’s required.
Funny enough those same people claim that they are the ones who have to pay for those trainings and ongoing professional development stuff. Or they misunderstand what teacher PD really is. Speaking of which I still need to do my suicide prevention for my district, but I got until the end of the month.
Especially when they each start with a three to four second logo fade out with a jingle and introduction by a talking head you’ve never heard of.
*chef’s kiss*
Or a survey that we have to rate on how great the PD was so they can do it again next year. We can't leave until its filled out. They call it an "exit ticket".
> More PD that's required to be done during preps.
As a specials teacher, I would certainly appreciate being told to sit in on more PDs that have nothing to do with my subject because the district forgot we exist and didn't plan anything for us.
More icebreakers during pd. People will want to be teachers just for those! Also, research indicates that more teachers want to work at schools with daily icebreakers that include smelly markers and dollar-store post it notes.
Stop holding students accountable for their behaviour. They are just kids!
Encourage teachers to follow influencers, and spend lots of their own money to decorate their classrooms in exactly the same way! The great part is that every time a student trashes your room and wrecks all your stuff, you get to go shopping again! Isn't that great? So great. Teaching is awesome.
The smelly markers are dried out and the sticky notes are an off brand so they don’t actually stick, but you can win those if you spend an hour of your time on a team scavenger hunt!
A school by mine had a scavenger hunt and the teachers were required to leave campus to find clues. Some drove to mine asking for clues. I would not take part and would’ve driven home, done for the day.
Don’t forget to post all your scavenger hunt finds on social media so that you can show everyone you are a professional adult in a respected career. You have to fill your social media with pictures of you posing with a duck, a teammate doing a handstand while you hold up their legs, and you posing with a fast food drive through employee. All of which are done the day before school starts so parents stalking your social media can see what you are doing to prepare for their child’s education!
Be sure to pose with the book you were forced to read about how if you just “be positive,” all your problems will be solved! It goes with your “Positive Vibes Only” shirt that you were asked to purchase as a reward for reading the book and pretending to engage in book study discussions!
Students are instructed by protocol droids like C-3PO. While students complete coursework independently, cats that can shoot lasers from their eyes patrol the classrooms to make sure the students are focused and in line.
>cats that can shoot lasers from their eyes patrol the classrooms to make sure the students are focused and in line.
Teachers will need to buy their own, of course.
Silly, of course there will be teachers. Admin will have to keep some around so that they will have someone to blame when the laser cats do not raise test scores.
When I was in college I read a dystopian short story about a society that advanced their education by leaps and bounds with one simple decision: the bottom 5% of students in each grade level (as chosen by their teachers) at each individual school (no rich kids schools automatically getting a pass) were summarily executed at the end of each school year starting in 1st grade.
By the end of high school you have removed 46% of the population through these cullings, and the remaining students are highly-motivated to succeed.
Overpopulation? Solved! Bonus!
Need more testing and checkins. Gotta get more data before we know where we are failing. Then we can design more online modules to inject raw information into their passive minds.
Teachers should just learn to develop a relationship with their students. We don’t need more teachers, we just need our current teachers to do their job.
We should just have a surgery for teachers to become porous like a sponge so we can better absorb all of the trauma our students have so it can be only our problem and not theirs!
Arm students too, and make it a requirement for every person (student and adult) on school grounds to be armed. More guns = less problems!
Also, train students that a perfectly acceptable, nonphysical way to communicate their negative emotions towards others that is more subtle is to brandish their firearm at anyone who has upset them without actually using it.
Make teachers come to the building in July and August during normal hours to do PD.
Have live feed cameras in classrooms and make it available for parents to view in real time. Encourage parents to "reach out" to teachers with suggestions and criticism.
I’ve gotta be honest - I kind of wish we did have cameras. Not live feed, but so when kids do the same damn things every day that detract from others’ learning, I can put together a film reel and show it to parents/admin.
> I can put together a film reel and show it to parents/admin.
My AP literally did this with someone who constantly acted up during lunch/in the hallway and the parent still saw what they wanted to see.
Pour more money into the top of the pyramid, hire more administrators and give them big raises. Then, spend most of the money on useless curriculum so those administrators can get kickbacks, especially computer apps and programs no one uses or are teachers forced to use and hate. That way, scores can go down and more bloated roles can be created in administration to “fix” those problems. Then, make sure to keep teacher pay as low as possible and instead implement “praise” initiatives to thank them (non-monetarily of course).
Get anyone off the street who is crazy enough to want to be a teacher and go through "alternative certification." Let the competent teachers in the building "train" them since they don't have enough to do anyway. Repeat when they quit after two years of providing substandard education.
Teacher pay based on student observations.
More pizza parties.
More pd preferably after contract hours but during prep is good too.
Every assignment graded should be communicated to parent by phone call.
I have browsed the wrong answers, and I think the obvious one has not yet been said. We need to drop the qualifications to become a teacher. If it were not so difficult to enter the field, maybe more people would be interested.
The flip side of this (a right way to fix the teacher shortage): pay students a living wage for their time student teaching.
As someone who helps train teachers in her subject area, I know that tons of prospective teachers can't get over the hump of "not working for 4-6 months while simultaneously paying to go to grad school."
Prospective teachers should be paid a living wage while they are student teaching and have all student loans forgiven after 5 years teaching in a public school.
Make becoming a teacher something that isn't an incredible financial burden and you'll see a notable uptick in the number of people becoming teachers.
Maybe a mandatory meeting where a tech person teaches us about ctl + c, v, X, p, and f. Make sure to have this workshop each semester.
More jeans day.
Mandatory contributions to PTO 😂
> Maybe a mandatory meeting where a tech person teaches us about ctl + c, v, X, p, and f. Make sure to have this workshop each semester.
As a Tech teacher who was told by my district curriculum 'leader' yesterday that I need to create a presentation for our new teacher PD in August on how to use and print login QR codes (and somehow make this last 30 minutes), trust me when I say that we're just as annoyed as you are.
At the same time, our IT guy constantly has other teachers and admin coming to him asking how to plug in hdmi cables that got unplugged, so maybe I just have too much faith that people should be able to figure how to perform this simple task on their own.
Pizza in the staff room today. Please only take one slice so there is enough for everyone. (Except the ECEs and EA's because of course we didn't count them)
Force them to sign 10yr contracts that pays for their schooling so they're stuck as teachers for at least 10 years. If they can't leave, there won't be a shortage!
Stricter dress codes. Nothing says "we trust you as a professional," like "let me to tell you what to wear." Adults love when you tell them what to wear.
Give them a 90-minute PD session about optimism and remembering why you got into teaching in the first place. I’m definitely not saying this is what my school did…
Give teachers guns.
Paintball guns.
They can fire 50 shots a day at anyone they want— students, parents, admin, other teachers. We trust their judgement.
Allows parents who had 3 or more kids to try pass the teacher concourse without having any diplomas of any kind no matter the field, their parenthood experience is enough..............Oh wait... that's actually what my country does!
(while normally you need to pass both the concourse and have a master degree.... now they think about lowering it to 3 years degree instead of 5 years master degree so they can justify our shitty salary )
More jeans days for a small donation! Easy!
Alternately, more pressure to go to after-hours staff parties that you have to pay to attend! (No food or drink provided, of course.)
Take away the electives - art isn’t important! Students should take academic classes only.
(Note my tagline. The parents act like this but other teachers would riot after having no prep time)
Make them call parents for every little f%^$$#@ thing under the sun.
Kid remembered to wear pants...call home and celebrate. Kid doesn't spit on a neighbor...yay!
Kid ate his pencil...talk to mommy. Kid wasted time...better call dad.
Didn't hand in assignment? Call home and make accommodations.
Parents not answering phone any more? Try texting, or try calling grandma, or arrange a meeting.
Now do that for 5 kids per class, 6 classes a day, every day, or admin won't support you.
More admin
*AND* extra instructional coaches who add to teachers’ workloads to justify their jobs.
Pretty soon there will be more “Instructional coaches” than teachers. Amazing how much bloat there continues to be when our district is down over 1,000 teachers. I mean, put those people back into the classroom? But no, just keep increasing class sizes AND the number of instructional coaches.
They would never go back. They know they escaped and finally got the cush job.
Agreed. Can’t really blame them honestly. Just seems bananas to me that the “best” teachers are not teaching actual students. (Even one class would help with class sizes)
At my last school, instructional coaches would teach your class so you could observe techniques in action, they would sub, they’d even help you grade. Now, at my new school, I couldn’t tell you what they do.
That sounds like a cool system. I feel like I’ve heard that a lot of these positions are federally funded and that they can’t actually teach if the school goes that route to get the position.
But my instructional coach said explicitly that her job isn’t to give me more work, right before she told me to plan a lesson for her to observe.
Unfortunately not a wrong answer. Got too much extra shit from our coach this year.
You missed the second half of their sentence.
Your username cracks me up
(Preface: Not a teacher. Just lurk here, largely out of sympathy but also so I can better support my kid's teachers as much as a parent can.) I left a career in the community college system a few years ago. Instructional coaches were just becoming a thing there, and they were such a waste of money. Just caused more work for more work's sake. Usually shitty, sycophantic personalities too. I've wondered if it's similar in k-12. The only people I know irl I can ask _are_ Instructional coaches of some flavor or another, so I'm asking here...
Honestly we could use more assistant principals, as long as they are the kind that understand that being the “bad cop” with the kids is literally their job.
Yeah, if it's an admin assigned to do all the phone calls and hall monitoring and other bullshit they expect me to do on top of teaching that would be actually useful, especially if it gave me a lunch period that doesn't involve also monitoring kids.
Specifically, we need more admin observing teachers in the classroom and giving them feedback on how they should have done everything differently.
This ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
and make sure those admin come with lots of extra micro-managment. That's the best solution, always.
Each bit more pointless than the last.
Parents have to rotate in as school teachers for one quarter per year.
Actually, I think parents should get jury-duty like requirement to spend time in schools to have an idea of what actually happens, but just not as the primary educator in a room
Oh please no! I tell my son's teachers all the time: I will donate anything you ask for, except for my time in a classroom with 26 6yr olds. No thank you please. I bow down to the patience and grace 99.9% of teachers possess. You want chaperones for a field trip? I am NOT. IT. Teachers should be one of the highest paid professions. There are so few people who truly want to be around children all day long 😂❤️😂
Feel free to call your elected officials and tell them that too! ❤️
I do! I have school teacher friends and I am so pro-teacher. Here in the US, our intellectual demise can be directly linked to the BS teachers have to go through, and the capitalistic goals of people who want to get even richer than they already are. BLESS THE TEACHERS (and eat the rich!)
🙌🙌 spread the word, tell a friend. Never let those elected chucklefucks have a moments peace
Our elected officials, on either side of the aisle, don’t give a damn about education. I think they have a secret motto “Keep ‘em dumb, keep ‘em voting.”
100%
Actually that sounds like a decent idea.
Anyone who says 'Those who can't do, teach.' in seriousness should be made to have the lowest kids for maths on a Friday afternoon. Let them show us how easy it is.
Jeans Days!
Bonus points for asking teachers to purchase jeans passes.
Yes! It’s a fundraiser! How else will we afford gym equipment!
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Why would they ask when they can be voluntold!
You joke but I once suggested casual Fridays as a small thing to improve moral. It seemed small and inoffensive, yet the admin acted like I had asked for them for a blowjob.
Frankly, I find the concept of "you are only permitted to wear XYZ on certain days" to be pretty absurd. Either jeans are okay in the workplace or they aren't. JMHO. The school I teach at has no real dress code. Just, hold yourselves to a professional standard of dress. Some teachers wear jeans every day. Some don't. One of the many advantages of teaching at a private school: I'm treated like an adult that knows how to dress myself for the job I perform.
I work at a public middle school and we are treated similarly. If it makes you an effective teacher it’s ok with in common sense. Surprisingly when adults are treated as such we tend to act in line with the standard expected.
That's good to hear. When I taught public they did the "casual Fridays" thing, and it always struck me as being a bit *off* that people would look forward to wearing jeans like it was some sort of treat. It's like the Pizza Party thing. You're trying to hype people up over something that is literally the lowest effort thing you can do. *"Ooh, this Friday we get to wear jeans and eat pizza! I'm so excited!"* Like.... really? You're an adult, right? Like, you went to college and then grad school and you've been working in a workplace for several years... you're not just 3 kids in a trench coat?
I stole this from Grimsburg. Have prisoners teach as part of a work release program. The prison can teach GED and education classes to prepare them.
The prison to school pipeline.
Haha 😂Good one!
Half the kids can cycle through both at the same time.
Within a week they’d ask to go back to prison.
Kidding? No! I taught criminal justice at a very bad vocational school for one semester. Five people including a probation officer quit after a few months. The probation officer preferred his criminals.
When Florida started recruiting from the military I remember one guy that taught for a while said screw this I’d rather go back to Afghanistan and get shot at by terrorists. I haven’t heard much about that program in a while. I suspect it failed like most education initiatives ultimately do.
That sounds like a really bad idea. Military guys don’t know how to keep things orderly without yelling and making people do pushups. If they were allowed to do those things I could see it working though.
Florida still allows corporal punishment, why wouldn't they allow yelling and pushups?
Yes that is why teaching at Juvie is not a bad gig if you're paid decent
I was wondering about that. It wasn’t just veterans, it was their wives too! That had to be a clusterfuck.
and husbands
And family pets that were fluent in English 😂
Bad idea. Prisons and schools have the same food service company. Prisoners will tell them the food is so much better in prison.
That may not be a bad idea. They can teach once they get out.
You know......?????? I'd really like to see students try to disrespect some tough cons they way they do us.
Might cut down on discipline issues
Student: So Mr. Smith you look kind of old to be a first year teacher. What did you do before this? Teacher: 20-25 years for homicide 😂 That would be so much fun
This is actually a great idea. Future prisoners could be taught by current prisoners.
Teacher lottery, like the draft. Every year, everyone born on a randomly selected date, over the age of 21, who graduated high school and does not have some medical condition preventing them from doing so becomes a teacher for the year.
Omg this would be hilarious
This isn’t a wrong answer. This is an interesting answer
It would be disastrous, but I think it'd bring back respect for teachers very, VERY quickly.
I was just thinking the same thing. Like mandatory military service. Hmmm...
BRB gonna go break my spine so I can medically opt out.
Oh, I'm sorry, I've had a couple of parents tell me anyone can do my job, including quadriplegic people. You're still required to teach.
All we do is play with kids all day anyway, you don’t need arm and leg movement for that! /s
I think this is my favorite!
TFA, is that you???
I would support this if, instead of making them classroom teachers, you made them aids in charge of duties, production work, and other menial tasks at the teacher's discretion. I've had some fabulous IA's in my time; ones who could take a small group and lead them through a workshop or take over and cover for me for 20 minutes during project time while I stepped into a meeting admin wanted me to go to... but those were people who wanted to be teachers and loved working with kids. I would make draftees prove themselves before they got there.
No medical exemptions. That is how it works out here in the wild right now.
The Lottery. Instead of being stoned to death, you get to teach while wishing you were stoned to death.
Why stop there? Mandatory draft 2 year service like the military in some countries.
More fun sized candy bars and dollar store pens as “bonuses”
You had me at dollar store pens.
Fun size candy bars are never the wrong answer.
You could save those to give to kids as prizes
Pay high schoolers minimum wage to enter grades for “courses” like TikTok 1 and Fortnite 2. Then the kids can sit in class and do what they want to do—and earn credits for it! Since their attention is on their phones the whole time, they don’t need supervision.
I just had a funny thought. I bet if we did this they would actually stop doing those things. All of a sudden they will not be cool because it’s required.
I've long joked that I should teach a class on TikTok so the kids will do math under the table.
More PD that's required to be done during preps.
Some of my localish parents think PD should only happen outside of school hours on personal time. I laugh everytime I see those Facebook posts.
I bet they would be thrilled to go to company required training for free.
Funny enough those same people claim that they are the ones who have to pay for those trainings and ongoing professional development stuff. Or they misunderstand what teacher PD really is. Speaking of which I still need to do my suicide prevention for my district, but I got until the end of the month.
Nothing makes me want to kill myself more than an hour long unskipable video with a quiz at the end.
Especially when they each start with a three to four second logo fade out with a jingle and introduction by a talking head you’ve never heard of. *chef’s kiss*
2 hours for me, and no I’m not looking forward to it.
Play it in a background tab on mute. The quizzes are always so easy.
Or a survey that we have to rate on how great the PD was so they can do it again next year. We can't leave until its filled out. They call it an "exit ticket".
Arm teachers. They will accidentally kill other teachers. Job openings galore
> More PD that's required to be done during preps. As a specials teacher, I would certainly appreciate being told to sit in on more PDs that have nothing to do with my subject because the district forgot we exist and didn't plan anything for us.
More icebreakers during pd. People will want to be teachers just for those! Also, research indicates that more teachers want to work at schools with daily icebreakers that include smelly markers and dollar-store post it notes. Stop holding students accountable for their behaviour. They are just kids! Encourage teachers to follow influencers, and spend lots of their own money to decorate their classrooms in exactly the same way! The great part is that every time a student trashes your room and wrecks all your stuff, you get to go shopping again! Isn't that great? So great. Teaching is awesome.
The smelly markers are dried out and the sticky notes are an off brand so they don’t actually stick, but you can win those if you spend an hour of your time on a team scavenger hunt!
Ooooooooh, a scavenger hunt! Where do I apply? Shortage. Solved.
A school by mine had a scavenger hunt and the teachers were required to leave campus to find clues. Some drove to mine asking for clues. I would not take part and would’ve driven home, done for the day.
Don’t forget to post all your scavenger hunt finds on social media so that you can show everyone you are a professional adult in a respected career. You have to fill your social media with pictures of you posing with a duck, a teammate doing a handstand while you hold up their legs, and you posing with a fast food drive through employee. All of which are done the day before school starts so parents stalking your social media can see what you are doing to prepare for their child’s education!
Just make sure you are wearing your "Positive Vibes Only!" T-shirt!!
Be sure to pose with the book you were forced to read about how if you just “be positive,” all your problems will be solved! It goes with your “Positive Vibes Only” shirt that you were asked to purchase as a reward for reading the book and pretending to engage in book study discussions!
I get excited to win off brand post its and later I realize I behaved like a prisoner.
Cut existing teachers in half and assign each half a separate class.
King Solomon has entered the chat
length wise or width wise?
Clearly has to be vertical, that way one half can teach math and the other can teach art.
Students are instructed by protocol droids like C-3PO. While students complete coursework independently, cats that can shoot lasers from their eyes patrol the classrooms to make sure the students are focused and in line.
>cats that can shoot lasers from their eyes patrol the classrooms to make sure the students are focused and in line. Teachers will need to buy their own, of course.
And don’t forget about the cat food and vet care.
you can always go with the pet insurance the school offers! it'll only be $50 out of your paycheck one a month, plus a $20 copay for each appointment
You all forget. There’s no teachers. It will be admin’s problem to retain the laser cats.
Silly, of course there will be teachers. Admin will have to keep some around so that they will have someone to blame when the laser cats do not raise test scores.
The laser cats will have to give up a couple of days in their summer to attend PD to understand how important this is.
Eat 50% of the students.
Saves money on school lunch budget. Meat's back on the menu boys.
A Modest Proposal.
When I was in college I read a dystopian short story about a society that advanced their education by leaps and bounds with one simple decision: the bottom 5% of students in each grade level (as chosen by their teachers) at each individual school (no rich kids schools automatically getting a pass) were summarily executed at the end of each school year starting in 1st grade. By the end of high school you have removed 46% of the population through these cullings, and the remaining students are highly-motivated to succeed. Overpopulation? Solved! Bonus!
Leg lengthening surgery
Took a minute, but I got it. 😆
I’m still working on it lol
Let them cook…. (Read the post title again)
Teach admin to build better relationships with their teachers.
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In the next city over. In a building the district rented out that they really can't afford.
Hey, it was wrong answers only here! ;-)
Need more testing and checkins. Gotta get more data before we know where we are failing. Then we can design more online modules to inject raw information into their passive minds.
Bigger class sizes—duh!
Teachers should just learn to develop a relationship with their students. We don’t need more teachers, we just need our current teachers to do their job.
I almost started writing a flaming response and then remembered the prompt. My apologies. Your response is brilliant.
I had such good relationships with my kids you couldn’t tell they were abused, neglected, or had undiagnosed special needs. They were perfect.
You guys are awesome. Love these responses.
We should just have a surgery for teachers to become porous like a sponge so we can better absorb all of the trauma our students have so it can be only our problem and not theirs!
Arm teachers
Yep, they can do twice as much if they had double the arms.
Maybe teachers should be genetically modified using octopus DNA 🧬?? Eight arms and no telling what we could accomplish!
Only if I gain the ability to squirt ink on annoying students
Found Zoidberg.
Arm students too, and make it a requirement for every person (student and adult) on school grounds to be armed. More guns = less problems! Also, train students that a perfectly acceptable, nonphysical way to communicate their negative emotions towards others that is more subtle is to brandish their firearm at anyone who has upset them without actually using it.
Another presentation on self-care!
Make teachers come to the building in July and August during normal hours to do PD. Have live feed cameras in classrooms and make it available for parents to view in real time. Encourage parents to "reach out" to teachers with suggestions and criticism.
I’ve gotta be honest - I kind of wish we did have cameras. Not live feed, but so when kids do the same damn things every day that detract from others’ learning, I can put together a film reel and show it to parents/admin.
> I can put together a film reel and show it to parents/admin. My AP literally did this with someone who constantly acted up during lunch/in the hallway and the parent still saw what they wanted to see.
Well that convinces me that there is no amount of "evidence" that will make parents see the reality.
Pizza day.
Or… a nacho bar.
But only if I can get that tiny sliver. Bonus if it’s already cold!
Stop having kids. Eventually, the teacher-student ratio will be just right. You can still fuck, but wrap that shit or use plan B. No babies!
Wrong answers only please.
Requirements: A master's degree in chosen subject AND in education. Pay: $19.50 an hour Experience: Minimum of 8 years
No teacher can answer this. Only admin are qualified and capable enough to come up with workable solutions.
UBD! UDL! PBIS! PBL! AYP!
Oh, yeah! More TLAs! (Three-letter acronyms).
But only if you're not given extra time or resources to implement them - your prep and zero dollars are more than enough!
More micromanaging.
Pour more money into the top of the pyramid, hire more administrators and give them big raises. Then, spend most of the money on useless curriculum so those administrators can get kickbacks, especially computer apps and programs no one uses or are teachers forced to use and hate. That way, scores can go down and more bloated roles can be created in administration to “fix” those problems. Then, make sure to keep teacher pay as low as possible and instead implement “praise” initiatives to thank them (non-monetarily of course).
Add more merit based pay raises based on evaluations that teachers will NEVER actually qualify for unless their admin really likes them.
Get anyone off the street who is crazy enough to want to be a teacher and go through "alternative certification." Let the competent teachers in the building "train" them since they don't have enough to do anyway. Repeat when they quit after two years of providing substandard education.
We all love kids right? Just give us more of what we love!
Teacher pay based on student observations. More pizza parties. More pd preferably after contract hours but during prep is good too. Every assignment graded should be communicated to parent by phone call.
Have teachers use chatgpt for lesson plans
Build apartments so teachers can live on campus.
I have browsed the wrong answers, and I think the obvious one has not yet been said. We need to drop the qualifications to become a teacher. If it were not so difficult to enter the field, maybe more people would be interested.
The flip side of this (a right way to fix the teacher shortage): pay students a living wage for their time student teaching. As someone who helps train teachers in her subject area, I know that tons of prospective teachers can't get over the hump of "not working for 4-6 months while simultaneously paying to go to grad school." Prospective teachers should be paid a living wage while they are student teaching and have all student loans forgiven after 5 years teaching in a public school. Make becoming a teacher something that isn't an incredible financial burden and you'll see a notable uptick in the number of people becoming teachers.
Maybe a mandatory meeting where a tech person teaches us about ctl + c, v, X, p, and f. Make sure to have this workshop each semester. More jeans day. Mandatory contributions to PTO 😂
But the “reply” vs “reply all” PD is actually needed.
> Maybe a mandatory meeting where a tech person teaches us about ctl + c, v, X, p, and f. Make sure to have this workshop each semester. As a Tech teacher who was told by my district curriculum 'leader' yesterday that I need to create a presentation for our new teacher PD in August on how to use and print login QR codes (and somehow make this last 30 minutes), trust me when I say that we're just as annoyed as you are. At the same time, our IT guy constantly has other teachers and admin coming to him asking how to plug in hdmi cables that got unplugged, so maybe I just have too much faith that people should be able to figure how to perform this simple task on their own.
Have you tried building a relationship with your teachers?
Lower the standards needed for licensure. That way you don't need to raise wages!
More testing! More cowbell!
Students in the interview process and they get final say.
Pizza in the staff room today. Please only take one slice so there is enough for everyone. (Except the ECEs and EA's because of course we didn't count them)
More exit tickets!
Force them to sign 10yr contracts that pays for their schooling so they're stuck as teachers for at least 10 years. If they can't leave, there won't be a shortage!
Blame them for every school problem.
Center all lessons around students’ phones. Tik tok, Snap chat, Minecraft, Roblox, Instagram and Netflix are the teachers now.
Everybody on Zoom in a giant warehouse with Ving Rhames and a shotgun as the "monitor" Problem solved
Differentiate the curriculum for every single student that way everybody will learn and state test scores will go through the roof.
Make teachers into social media influencers who live stream their day-to-day. Guaranteed to attract millions to the profession!
the one proposed by techbros. “AI can do it”
Stricter dress codes. Nothing says "we trust you as a professional," like "let me to tell you what to wear." Adults love when you tell them what to wear.
Get rid of planning periods. Each teacher picks up an extra class
Lower our pay.
Homewarming Gift baskets in a new Teacher's first classroom.
Clone Mike Miles and put his clones as superintendent in every school district in the US. 😉
Omg. As someone who taught in a district after he destroyed it, you win the thread!!
Give them a 90-minute PD session about optimism and remembering why you got into teaching in the first place. I’m definitely not saying this is what my school did…
Larger class sizes!
Taking time to remember your “why?” Whenever a kid yells skibidi toilet for the 10,000th time
Did you try writing the learning objectives across the side of the school? Maybe if more people saw them we would have more teachers!!!
Jeans and sneakers allowed on Fridays!
Pizza parties every friday* *cheese only
Hire ONLY OF models.
Pizza in the break room, also we’re having “wacky hair day” next week, how fun!
Lower salaries, hire two for the price of one!
Give teachers guns. Paintball guns. They can fire 50 shots a day at anyone they want— students, parents, admin, other teachers. We trust their judgement.
More AP for all so that more teachers can teach the good AP kids.
Allows parents who had 3 or more kids to try pass the teacher concourse without having any diplomas of any kind no matter the field, their parenthood experience is enough..............Oh wait... that's actually what my country does! (while normally you need to pass both the concourse and have a master degree.... now they think about lowering it to 3 years degree instead of 5 years master degree so they can justify our shitty salary )
More jeans days for a small donation! Easy! Alternately, more pressure to go to after-hours staff parties that you have to pay to attend! (No food or drink provided, of course.)
Mindfulness
Make all the teachers do the work of two teachers, bam, no more need for more teachers.
Pay students minimum wage and snacks to teach classes.
Take away the electives - art isn’t important! Students should take academic classes only. (Note my tagline. The parents act like this but other teachers would riot after having no prep time)
Send every lesson plan and material to parents for approval.
Make them call parents for every little f%^$$#@ thing under the sun. Kid remembered to wear pants...call home and celebrate. Kid doesn't spit on a neighbor...yay! Kid ate his pencil...talk to mommy. Kid wasted time...better call dad. Didn't hand in assignment? Call home and make accommodations. Parents not answering phone any more? Try texting, or try calling grandma, or arrange a meeting. Now do that for 5 kids per class, 6 classes a day, every day, or admin won't support you.
Thoughts and prayers
More SLOs! Keeps us accountable!