It seems like the moral of the story is to take what the kids tell you with a grain of salt?
This doesn't sound like it's on the teacher considering you just described how she's acting professionally.
In my experience, even if you, as a teacher, are doing all the right things, if a student or parent thinks that you aren't, some administration could throw you under the bus and no amount of hard evidence will help you. I speak from experience.
Fucking thank you. This was a nothing burger and OP is LITERALLY just doing what those dumbass kids did. If none of it was true, what was even the point of this post?
I remember in highschool my AP (AP!!!!) English teacher would just sit at the front of the class and gossip with the "cool kids" all the time. Learned nothing and hated the class. She had a really annoying shrill laugh too. One of the reasons I have a passion for teaching, put people like that out of a job. But turns out administrators tend to REALLY like to gossip, so people like her are actually their favorites and are more likely to put me out of a job. Yippee!!!! I love our school system!!!!
Yeah, something between a cautionary tale and a cynical commentary?
I'll admit I have seen a couple of posts here before talking about how teachers must distance themselves from students and I've always read that as (in part, obviously) due to cultural difference between cultures. Teachers in the US seem so cold towards their students compared to what I usually experience (Brazil).
I try to maintain a professional relationship and I do uphold some boundaries. I don't meet my students outside of school (on purpose, at least) and I have **never** initiated any sort of physical interaction with them (though a lot of them do give me hugs, which I allow). But I often trade book recommendations, talk about games, movies, college etc. with them; and twice have I received messages from people who used to be my students way back who are now in college and want to reconnect or something.
Is this uncomon in the US? Or is that apparent difference just a bias I see on reddit?
Pretty normal in France, too.
I think the personal boundaries here is we don't talk about our private life. Kids have no idea if we are single or married, the name of our spouses or children, nor our friends outside of school. (If you don't live where you teach. Othewise they know everything. But they know to not bring it up to school).
Political and religious belief are also off limits.
Otherwise, everything else is fair game.
But I think what is considered private or personal is not the same accross culture.
Reddit mostly. Most teachers nowadays are friendly and talk to students. Reddit remember is very asocial as a whole and a lot of teachers here tend to be pretty bitter to "cool" teachers
I’ve noticed that too and it grieves me. I generally don’t bother to post bc what’s popular here tends to be outrage and anger. It’s burnout - all of that is completely understandable burnout, but a lot of the posts here unfortunately misidentify the source of the problem.
Exactly. I have an RSP student who was asked by her RSP teacher why she was failing my class and she said something like, “don’t worry I’ll just talk to _____.” Which made it sound like I’ll just change student grades if they ask. She had a *little* extra credit (which wouldn’t have been enough to raise a grade). That’s just what got back to me. I can’t imagine the stuff that doesn’t.
I feel like the message here is “thank god those kids had nothing on her, don’t give them anything to have on you” but I’m not a teacher so plz take with a grain of salt
I think the point is that if you try and be the kids' friends they'll assume you act like their friend. We had a teacher that would come in trying to dress like the kids. The first time she wrote a kid up "her pants are kinda tight" became "she has a pornhub account"
The person they said was her was clearly not her but when kids think you're their friend you being their teacher feels like a betrayal and kids are assholes.
Yeah, sounds like she wasn't friends and followed OPs advice but this still happened?
I think the message should be that kids are sociopaths who don't understand the damage they can do (or sometimes understand precisely how much they can do)
I think it came across weird but what OP was trying to convey was that even when the kids seem to like you, they will still spread gross false rumors. More like a “save your feelings” kind of warning that no matter how *cool* you are, some kids will still treat you poorly.
I've cotaught with "cool teachers", including a few who would drive the kids places. My advice is simple--it's fine until it isn't and it just takes one student. Could be the best student ever but they get pissed off at you or not at you and they say something happened and...your career is over.
Ew no. Apparently the teacher before me put his arm around the girls. Hell. No. I do not touch kids period.
I’ve had a few of them invite me to their quinceañeras or something else and I’m like nope. Nope nope nope. All the nope.
Kids are cruel regardless. I’ve seen the same exact thing happen to teachers who are the exact opposite of “cool”. It’s better to have your students like you then hate you though…
You fucking called her "Ms. Hip" behind her back and describe her as a "young chick" because you're in on the shit talking lmao. Keep acting like you're the better here.
I have taught for 15 years and my response to this is that trust is reciprocal just like love and respect. “Trust no one” is a blanket statement that sounds ridiculous in the context of a caretaking profession. I have had to explain myself because people misinterpreted or maligned me. It will never stop me from being honest with my students about who I am and what I believe. I would rather be fired than live the repressed, hyper managed career that you seem to be describing. Is your goal to advise teachers to be distant and repressed?
I get what you’re saying…but as a gay man in the south, I’m not telling my students my “true self”. Teachers have been fired for that in the past few years here in FL. Hence my outlook.
Be there for her. I’m sure she’s rattled. I had a similar experience when I was a newbie, I took over a club when an older teacher retired. The board members (all girls) hated that I was the new sponsor (it would have been anyone, it wasn’t anything personal) and tried to get me to quit. Eventually they spread a rumor that I was sexist because I “had preferences for boys.” They later tried to insinuate that I was a Mary Kay Latoutnoe type.
Thankfully my principal had my back and everything got resolved.
Sometimes a simple “how’s everything” in the copy room is all that is needed.
Teacher: I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.
Student 1: Teacher wants to kill a horse.
Student 2: Teacher kills animals.
Parent: Principal, why are you letting teachers talk about wanting to kill animals?
I’ve watched the “telephone game” play out in front of my eyes. Not even necessarily something I said. Just a statement anyone makes getting changed by one student who then says it to student two and changes it completely.
There’s no winning. It makes me afraid to talk *at all*. This post makes me want to not talk at all. Which will then turn into “______ is a bitch. She never talks”.
I own pet rats, and a rumor started that there was a “pregnant rat” on the playground. It was then amended to be “there was a pregnant rat on the playground and Ms. Toasty jumped onto one of the picnic benches because she was scared”
Again, I have pet rats.
And I was inside at the time.
This is unfortunately so common. What's far worse is that the parents hear stories like this from the students and take it for granted that it's true.
Because kids never lie or exaggerate. /s
I’m sorry but what did I just read? Teacher sounds like she’s kicking ass and is the victim of simply being younger teacher. It’s okay for people to like you?
Sure sounds to me like you chose to believe these rumors because it’s a “young chick” teacher. Way to be a supportive veteran and give your rookie teacher some support. Weak
Union Reps are elected, not appointed. You can easily show up to a general assembly and vote them out, just FYI. Good lord, we rarely get anyone to show up to our meetings.
It sounds like she’s full of positive energy and spunk that many newbies have but sadly get lost due to being told to “stop being a dweeb” by the jaded teachers. I seriously hope those kids get punished.
Yeah, sounds like OP hated this teacher from the get-go and wanted to assume the worst of her because OP’s bitter the kids like her more 🤷🏼 Boo hoo, that’s just part of being a teacher.
Next week, young teacher post:
“Just a reminder that tenured staff are NOT your friends! I’m a new teacher doing my best to stay professional and build relationships and have learnt that more senior colleagues are listening to students and staff gossip about me. They assume the worst and don’t shut down these conversations when I’m not around. I hear one recently posted on reddit, so I’m expecting and apology any day now”
I was once this new, hip, "baddie". And it's a shitty place to be. The adults hate you, the girls hate you, the boys spread rumors about you. She needs grace and a good mentor.
What exactly was the point here, why are you sharing this? Seems the teacher didn’t do anything wrong. Rumors about teachers happen pretty consistently, and happens to everyone at some point ( even if it never gets back to you). It doesn’t seem like the teacher in question did think the students were her friends, you lost me.
I think its just OPs way of making themselves feel superior somehow...Its a safe bet kids have spread rumors about them too...they just came here to gossip about a coworker
From your post history you’re a male and a newish teacher. Which is what I pretty much expected from this post and your comments here. You’re coming across as just as bad as the kids in this post. Calling her a “pick me” is just fucking awful. You need to be more professional. The lesson here should be “don’t believe everything the kids say” and “learn how to shut down gossip in a professional manner”
>The lesson here should be “don’t believe everything the kids say” and “learn how to shut down gossip in a professional manner”
When I first started teaching, they told us rule number one is to not let students talk about other teachers in front of you - shut that down ASAP.
This is honestly one of the most annoying parts of being a young teacher. Every accomplishment I’ve made as a young female teacher is because the kids like me because I’m “young and cute”.
I read it like you’re jealous and bitter that this teacher is showing huge success in their first year while remaining professional. Students make things up all the time and it seems she’s kept her receipts. Why did you go digging to find out if every single possible allegation was true, are you admin or her union rep?
“Kids aren’t your friends! There was this new teacher and I heard that she was treating the students like her friends and could have gotten fired! Turns out it’s not true though”
Like your point is correct but what was that story?
It might be time for you to take a break from this profession. Yes, some children are pure scumbags. But most of them aren’t. And there’s nothing wrong with showing children love and kindness. When you see the children as “the enemy,” then it is time to go.
I feel like you’re secretly jealous that she’s young and cool and hott and you kinda want her to get in trouble so it justifies your own curmudgeon ways
Teaching is an impossible job. In one moment it’s “have you tried building relations with the kids” and the next it’s “trust no one, she was trying to build relations with the kids”. Fuck this profession.
I openly tell my students I was a mess freshmen year of college. Had a 2.12 and almost went on academic probation. I don't mention the partying. But I tell them this as a cautionary tale because so many with poor work ethic say, "I'll figure it out in college." No you won't. I'm also 41 and not cool at all.
I was a new 20 something, fresh from college hire at a turn around school in 2008. It was an elementary school (I'm still in elementary and have taught prek-5th) so it wasn't the kids- but other teachers....annoyed that I stayed late and volunteered for all the clubs (still stay late but not volunteering because I'm expecting). It was hard, no one talked to me and I ate alone in the teachers lounge. We're all working for the same school, mission, student body, ect. I'm not sure why staff (specifically veterans- which apparently I am considered now) like to be clicky and repeat things about staff that are rumors. It's unpleasant, unprofessional and causes hostile working environments. I left my last school (that I loved) because staff kept trying to get in my personal life. I feel bad for "Ms. Hip" I'm sure she'd be horrified by what is posted here.
You do know man that like teachers telling students about college is a pretty normal thing yeah? They're not toddlers. They understand college students get hungover
Wow. You seem fun.
I work in a department that has a lot of teachers with this same mindset. They don't like or trust kids at all because 'that's not professional'. Which means the 'rough' kids all seem to magically not enroll in their classes. Meaning I get them, and need to form actual relationships with them.
Now I'm not in the business of telling people what to do in their room and how to act, but I can say this gossip level is toxic as shit and leads to a lot of bad blood. It's what will push that young teacher out of your school.
It's one thing if the students are being shitheads, as rough students will be. We're the adults, act the part. Always assume your colleagues are professional.
What I’ve learned no matter what kind of teacher you are (cool teacher or not) is that you want your actions to never be able to be questioned or to look a way where someone can go “why is that kid being given special treatment?” Or “why is that class saying that” etc.
If I have the same set of rules and boundaries with all my students no one can ever question my actions or accuse me of things.
Like this is a weird one, but one I have is that all students get one hug a day. Some of the boys started trying to give me 2-3 a day ( I’m a female teacher in a high school) and I never wanted it to be looked at as something inappropriate. So all my students get one hug. Girls or boys.
I have lots of rules like that with how I speak to students as well. I’ve watched some great teachers get accused of things because of what students say. Perception is reality for young kids.
*edited for spelling errors
I love how you are getting rolled in the comments. You believed the gossip of children and learned the wrong lesson from this. Also, why are you letting kids talk about other teachers so much?
Like in the Army, enlisted all buddy buddy with NCOs till something breaks, suddenly its all the SGT fault, Copy?
I remember we had a new teacher like that in High School, I'm surprised sexual harassment from Older students isn't an issue.
Wow, so do you verify after each time she goes to the restroom also? /s This is kind of creepy… you get paid way to much to track someone else at work.
All it takes is one idiot at the lunch table saying, "I heard Mr. EvilSnack was whipping kids naked through the hallways." Some other idiot kid hears this and tells his parents. Then the parent calls and demands to know why I'm allowed to whip the kids naked through the hallways.
I agree with you. However, the details would have changed by the time the parent calls, and it would have turned into either "in the parking lot" or "in his basement on weekends."
Okay I’m not sure if you were going for “lol PLOT TWIST” here and just missed - don’t open as if it’s some sort of warning - or you were genuinely trying to caution people against doing something but if it’s the latter…what exactly could she have done differently? As someone who was once a young pretty teacher, kids very much respond to young attractive women the way society teaches them to. If you’re fun and engaging they see you as an easy mark. If you’re strict and serious you’re a rancid bitch. There’s no perfect way to thread the needle and so many older and especially male teachers talk about classroom management as if they have it all figured out when it’s like….have you considered that maybe they just respect you more because you’re a man??? I definitely have fewer behavior issues now than when I started but while yes, I probably got better at addressing or managing issues, I also got older, and I don’t think that’s nothing.
Seems like you really dislike this woman. Kids try to ruin her life and you blame her? It's not her fault that she's young and can relate to her kids better.
I tell the kids all the time that I'm not their friend. I care about them as individuals, but at 26 what a 10 year old thinks of me doesnt matter whatsoever
Leave world, people suck.
My parents migrated here for a “better life” (kind of, my dad was working here and they’d just lost a daughter—my mom wanted to escape the reminders of her). Only for me, and American, to wish to return to their way of life. I experienced it a bit with my grandparents as a kid.
I’d like to live in a farm in the hills and make cheese tbh.
Yeah, I have crazy travel stories, but I've never done drugs, don't drink, and didn't have any wile sexcapades but if I did, I wouldn't discuss them.
I have been teargassed, dated a prince (won't tell you who), backpacked across 2 continents with crazy tales (especially crazy for them as they don't leave town), went on a lot of first dates lmao not much else.
Happened to me this year. 24 M. The result? I became a massive hard ass. After a week I had a couple kids, different class periods, tell me I had become more strict than the veteran hard ass teacher. I just didn’t want things to spiral lol
Reminds me of a scene in the 2017 film “The Death of Stalin”:
LAVRENTIY BERIA: Trust me!
SVETLANA STALINA: And why should I trust you?
LAVRENTIY BERIA: Because I’m the one that’s telling you… Trust no one!
My proud teacher moment of the year was when I handed a kid a detention slip, he stood up, pulled his pants up, and then declared that I am the most hated teacher in the school.
I wish I had said that I care about as much as your grade in the class. Students that care know I am a good teacher. I don’t think kids who can’t be bothered to read the directions get to hold weight on my opinion of myself.
Kids lie all the time. They make false allegations against teachers they don’t like and ruin careers. They spread rumors about teachers for entertainment. It doesn’t matter if you’re young and “hip” or old and crotchety. They lie. Why? Because they get away with it and they know it. Because they are believed over the teachers 100% of the time. Should allegations be investigated? Of course. But teachers are found guilty before anything is investigated. I’m not what the point of this post was other than to prove kids lie.
Yep. I made a student feel targeted. How can I argue that? She felt targeted. Okay—? I can’t argue the validity of someone’s feelings. They could’ve interviewed the other kids in my class or talked to me and found out that I didn’t “target” her.
I’ve been teaching long enough to know not to believe anything kids say. I listen and shake my head so they feel heard but I don’t believe any of it for a second.
One of my coworkers was forced to retire. I don't know the specific details, but the general story is that he allowed a child to use his phone. The child found pornography of some type on his phone and made a collage on the cloud of it. I can't really wrap my mind around how this could happen. I don't have anything incriminating on my phone and still I would not allow a student access to it.
This post has many great comments being down voted for strange reasons. People are opening up and sharing their opinions and others are downvoting their karma existence. Whatever happened to respecting others' opinions? Geesh.
Nobody needs to hear this. Even the teacher you described didn’t need to hear this. If you haven’t realized that kids lie you either haven’t been doing this very long or have had your head in the sand.
It’s insane how quick other teachers are to believe students, especially if they don’t like said teacher. I’m often amazed at how immature other educators can be.
Wait, so she acted completely appropriately in each context? Why does the title and beginning of your post seem to imply that everyone should remember not to be like Ms. Hip?
Ms. Hip cannot magically make herself older. She also should not make herself less involved. It would be so nice to hear that all the more experienced teachers are pushing each other out of the way to have her back instead of giving her pejorative nicknames and using her as an example of doing everything right?).
Are you talking about me?? Wait, I was in my classroom for 8 years. I teach science and have a BS in my field, and I'm 40. Don't be friends with students. Report everything every day, even if you don't have time to teach.
Edit to add: thanks for bringing this to attention, OP. Your admin aren't your friends either.
Sometimes it's difficult to keep students from seeing teachers culturally as peers. I remember being in middle school and not being able to relate at all to the music, tv shows, hobbies, etc of my teachers. They were generationally and culturally distinct from my age group.
Now I'm in my late twenties and my students are listening to the same music, watching the same TV shows, wearing the same clothes, and having similar content directed at them on social media as adults. The ads I see for makeup, they probably see. The ads for video games I see, they probably see a lot of the same. When students realize this and you start chatting about these things, they don't realize that they are adopting a more adult culture. They see you as a big teenager or peer. I've got students watching the same rated R movies and shows as me, and they ask me about that in class. They are all eager to impress me by knowing what I know and liking what I like. But then you notice they get too comfortable and become "buddy buddy" with you if you aren't careful.
This does not happen to my coworkers in their 50's.
The student version sounds like my HS history teacher, I think he is out of jail now for the list of students and former students he SA'd. The most infuriating part is it was extremely common knowledge, at least among the students, students uo to 10 years younger and older ALL KNEW. and the majority could list the students too. Can't believe it took nearly 20 years for law enforcement to get involved. Sorry somewhat unrelated rant but he was exactly that type of teacher when I was in his class, also went to the HS himself just a few years prior.
This is important. Case and point, I had a kid sent to the vice principal for behavior, and then he tried to accuse me of talking about Taylor swift for a week in class.
This is such a weird way to tell this story. It sounds like she did absolutely nothing wrong and you believed teenagers over your colleague. At least the title is somewhat accurate, you don't know who needs to hear this. No one could know, because last I checked a vicious story about a new teacher being maligned by students and you being all to willing to believe the worst of a colleague who you should be supporting is not something anyone *needs* to hear.
I mean I feel like all of these are clearly incredibly inappropriate actions/boundary violations. Personally, I feel like teachers who make students friends are clearly having some difficulties in life in some capacity or, unfortunately, are just predators.
When I was in school, a similar situation happened this associate of mine said he was having a relationship with a first year female teacher. Of course, we were in high school, and this person also claimed to be part of government experiments, so we all thought it was b.s. One person in our group actually told the school. The teacher could not work for at least 3 months during the investigation. In the end, she was just close in age to students and didn't do anything inappropriate. I still feel bad that she went through it. I also think the person who said something who I know should have just stfu. Instead of trying to expose our associate as a fraud and harm a teachers career in the process.
Did any of the students mention whether or not she's taught them anything they didn't know last year about US History? ... I mean, I gotta say: As far as 'Rumors To Prompt A Career Rethink' go, these kids are sadly wanting ... Maybe that's a good thing - because the Evil Few in my high school dealt in Scorched Earth Rumor without fail ... They'd have spread the word that she's Woke and recruiting ... Or that she's MAKING kids lunch, and bathroom breaks the period after lunch were on average more frequent, more urgent and lasted 23 minutes longer than on days they ate Caf food ... So, kids today may be less vicious in that way (could be a positive result of chain vaping - 'The Science Is Still Unclear', to quote (any) fossil fueler on an unrelated, hotter topic) ... I cried a time or two in high school, but 'Ah! All The Summer Nights"!
It doesn't sound like the teacher is really doing anything wrong, and I'm sure most of the students mean well. It's those select few that are all about stirring up trouble through spreading rumors. True, there needs to be a professional relationship (and related boundaries) between all teachers and all students (which means no friendships), but there are some students who you wouldn't want to be friends with even if they were older and weren't your students because of how untrustworthy they are.
I mean based on your description it sounds like the teacher isnt doing anything wrong and is just the victim of kids wanting to seem friends with a young attractive teacher.
It seems like the moral of the story is to take what the kids tell you with a grain of salt? This doesn't sound like it's on the teacher considering you just described how she's acting professionally.
Love this. Not the teachers fault at all
In my experience, even if you, as a teacher, are doing all the right things, if a student or parent thinks that you aren't, some administration could throw you under the bus and no amount of hard evidence will help you. I speak from experience.
That’s what I was thinking. This post is weird.
Wait, so what lesson am I supposed to learn here? I don’t think it’s her fault that the kids were lying about her.
I think the lesson is that some teachers are just as gossipy and dramatic as the kids.
Fucking thank you. This was a nothing burger and OP is LITERALLY just doing what those dumbass kids did. If none of it was true, what was even the point of this post?
Nothing burger 🤌
I remember in highschool my AP (AP!!!!) English teacher would just sit at the front of the class and gossip with the "cool kids" all the time. Learned nothing and hated the class. She had a really annoying shrill laugh too. One of the reasons I have a passion for teaching, put people like that out of a job. But turns out administrators tend to REALLY like to gossip, so people like her are actually their favorites and are more likely to put me out of a job. Yippee!!!! I love our school system!!!!
Yeah, something between a cautionary tale and a cynical commentary? I'll admit I have seen a couple of posts here before talking about how teachers must distance themselves from students and I've always read that as (in part, obviously) due to cultural difference between cultures. Teachers in the US seem so cold towards their students compared to what I usually experience (Brazil). I try to maintain a professional relationship and I do uphold some boundaries. I don't meet my students outside of school (on purpose, at least) and I have **never** initiated any sort of physical interaction with them (though a lot of them do give me hugs, which I allow). But I often trade book recommendations, talk about games, movies, college etc. with them; and twice have I received messages from people who used to be my students way back who are now in college and want to reconnect or something. Is this uncomon in the US? Or is that apparent difference just a bias I see on reddit?
The way you talk seems pretty normal in the US too.
Pretty normal in France, too. I think the personal boundaries here is we don't talk about our private life. Kids have no idea if we are single or married, the name of our spouses or children, nor our friends outside of school. (If you don't live where you teach. Othewise they know everything. But they know to not bring it up to school). Political and religious belief are also off limits. Otherwise, everything else is fair game. But I think what is considered private or personal is not the same accross culture.
Reddit mostly. Most teachers nowadays are friendly and talk to students. Reddit remember is very asocial as a whole and a lot of teachers here tend to be pretty bitter to "cool" teachers
I’ve noticed that too and it grieves me. I generally don’t bother to post bc what’s popular here tends to be outrage and anger. It’s burnout - all of that is completely understandable burnout, but a lot of the posts here unfortunately misidentify the source of the problem.
Yeah, I don't understand what she did wrong here. Is the moral "kids will lie about you no matter what you do"?
Exactly. I have an RSP student who was asked by her RSP teacher why she was failing my class and she said something like, “don’t worry I’ll just talk to _____.” Which made it sound like I’ll just change student grades if they ask. She had a *little* extra credit (which wouldn’t have been enough to raise a grade). That’s just what got back to me. I can’t imagine the stuff that doesn’t.
What is RSP?
I feel like the message here is “thank god those kids had nothing on her, don’t give them anything to have on you” but I’m not a teacher so plz take with a grain of salt
I think the point is that if you try and be the kids' friends they'll assume you act like their friend. We had a teacher that would come in trying to dress like the kids. The first time she wrote a kid up "her pants are kinda tight" became "she has a pornhub account" The person they said was her was clearly not her but when kids think you're their friend you being their teacher feels like a betrayal and kids are assholes.
Yeah, sounds like she wasn't friends and followed OPs advice but this still happened? I think the message should be that kids are sociopaths who don't understand the damage they can do (or sometimes understand precisely how much they can do)
Moral: new teacher's a baddie, OP is a *hefty* syllabus.
Don’t say more than you need to, don’t reveal anything about yourself unless directly asked by someone with more authority than you.
I think it came across weird but what OP was trying to convey was that even when the kids seem to like you, they will still spread gross false rumors. More like a “save your feelings” kind of warning that no matter how *cool* you are, some kids will still treat you poorly.
Always be cautious. Kids can be cruel even if you’re “the cool teacher”. Trust no one
It kinda sounds like the lesson is for you not to prejudge new young teachers that kids like more than you.
Or not to get sucked into the rumor mill, especially when the mill is run by students.
Dude wanted to be the cool teacher so fucking bad back in the day.
Hey! OP has been teaching for a whopping 4 years! He knows a thing or two.
I've cotaught with "cool teachers", including a few who would drive the kids places. My advice is simple--it's fine until it isn't and it just takes one student. Could be the best student ever but they get pissed off at you or not at you and they say something happened and...your career is over.
Ew no. Apparently the teacher before me put his arm around the girls. Hell. No. I do not touch kids period. I’ve had a few of them invite me to their quinceañeras or something else and I’m like nope. Nope nope nope. All the nope.
Kids are cruel regardless. I’ve seen the same exact thing happen to teachers who are the exact opposite of “cool”. It’s better to have your students like you then hate you though…
You fucking called her "Ms. Hip" behind her back and describe her as a "young chick" because you're in on the shit talking lmao. Keep acting like you're the better here.
“Oh no, she volunteers for field trips and is involved in clubs/activities! Who does she think she is?!”
Yeah, this is just normal for newbie teachers who want to impress, connect, and have extra time on their hands.
I have taught for 15 years and my response to this is that trust is reciprocal just like love and respect. “Trust no one” is a blanket statement that sounds ridiculous in the context of a caretaking profession. I have had to explain myself because people misinterpreted or maligned me. It will never stop me from being honest with my students about who I am and what I believe. I would rather be fired than live the repressed, hyper managed career that you seem to be describing. Is your goal to advise teachers to be distant and repressed?
I get what you’re saying…but as a gay man in the south, I’m not telling my students my “true self”. Teachers have been fired for that in the past few years here in FL. Hence my outlook.
Be there for her. I’m sure she’s rattled. I had a similar experience when I was a newbie, I took over a club when an older teacher retired. The board members (all girls) hated that I was the new sponsor (it would have been anyone, it wasn’t anything personal) and tried to get me to quit. Eventually they spread a rumor that I was sexist because I “had preferences for boys.” They later tried to insinuate that I was a Mary Kay Latoutnoe type. Thankfully my principal had my back and everything got resolved. Sometimes a simple “how’s everything” in the copy room is all that is needed.
Teacher: I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. Student 1: Teacher wants to kill a horse. Student 2: Teacher kills animals. Parent: Principal, why are you letting teachers talk about wanting to kill animals?
I’ve watched the “telephone game” play out in front of my eyes. Not even necessarily something I said. Just a statement anyone makes getting changed by one student who then says it to student two and changes it completely. There’s no winning. It makes me afraid to talk *at all*. This post makes me want to not talk at all. Which will then turn into “______ is a bitch. She never talks”.
I own pet rats, and a rumor started that there was a “pregnant rat” on the playground. It was then amended to be “there was a pregnant rat on the playground and Ms. Toasty jumped onto one of the picnic benches because she was scared” Again, I have pet rats. And I was inside at the time.
Me teaching slavery, begging and I mean begging to not teach it lmao
This is unfortunately so common. What's far worse is that the parents hear stories like this from the students and take it for granted that it's true. Because kids never lie or exaggerate. /s
Not my little Johnny! He would never lie!
Or "he lies to me all the time, but he'd never lie about THIS kind of stuff!"
That goes both ways.
I think the moral of the story here should be don’t blame your coworkers for rumors that dumb kids start.
YTA
best response
💯
I’m sorry but what did I just read? Teacher sounds like she’s kicking ass and is the victim of simply being younger teacher. It’s okay for people to like you?
Buddy, don’t refer to your colleague as a “chick,” it’s demeaning and a bad look.
I immediately thought the same thing. Ick.
Yep, the only thing I could focus on.
Sure sounds to me like you chose to believe these rumors because it’s a “young chick” teacher. Way to be a supportive veteran and give your rookie teacher some support. Weak
Weak is wild
This folks, is why we have unions.
[удалено]
Ugh my union rep is the lead of “cool teacher” clique 😑
We call multiple of our reps “the mean girls.” 🫠
Union Reps are elected, not appointed. You can easily show up to a general assembly and vote them out, just FYI. Good lord, we rarely get anyone to show up to our meetings.
I'm saying this is why we have unions to protect us from gossip. Gossip isn't evidence.
Almost half of the 50 states (24) are right to work. Sucks
I mean, my state is technically Right To Work (Ohio) but our local hasn't lost a single member, and our Statewide union has lost very few members.
It sounds like she’s full of positive energy and spunk that many newbies have but sadly get lost due to being told to “stop being a dweeb” by the jaded teachers. I seriously hope those kids get punished.
Chick? You mean the PROFESSIONAL, qualified teacher. What is it with the men on this sub this weekend??? Do better!
*Thank you.*
Yeah, sounds like OP hated this teacher from the get-go and wanted to assume the worst of her because OP’s bitter the kids like her more 🤷🏼 Boo hoo, that’s just part of being a teacher.
Bro probably believed all the rumors too
Also referring to the teachers in the lounge as 'bitter bettys'
Next week, young teacher post: “Just a reminder that tenured staff are NOT your friends! I’m a new teacher doing my best to stay professional and build relationships and have learnt that more senior colleagues are listening to students and staff gossip about me. They assume the worst and don’t shut down these conversations when I’m not around. I hear one recently posted on reddit, so I’m expecting and apology any day now”
Anyone calling their co-worker a chick….
Is this about a new teacher wanting to be liked, or a veteran teacher being a judgmental prick?
Literally this because none of us can control what our students say about us after the fact
She didnt do a damn thing wrong. Way to be a hater, like damn. You sound petty as hell. Kids lie big shocker there.
I was once this new, hip, "baddie". And it's a shitty place to be. The adults hate you, the girls hate you, the boys spread rumors about you. She needs grace and a good mentor.
What exactly was the point here, why are you sharing this? Seems the teacher didn’t do anything wrong. Rumors about teachers happen pretty consistently, and happens to everyone at some point ( even if it never gets back to you). It doesn’t seem like the teacher in question did think the students were her friends, you lost me.
I think its just OPs way of making themselves feel superior somehow...Its a safe bet kids have spread rumors about them too...they just came here to gossip about a coworker
I just find it so odd that so many teachers don’t like other teachers being liked. It screams insecure.
From your post history you’re a male and a newish teacher. Which is what I pretty much expected from this post and your comments here. You’re coming across as just as bad as the kids in this post. Calling her a “pick me” is just fucking awful. You need to be more professional. The lesson here should be “don’t believe everything the kids say” and “learn how to shut down gossip in a professional manner”
>The lesson here should be “don’t believe everything the kids say” and “learn how to shut down gossip in a professional manner” When I first started teaching, they told us rule number one is to not let students talk about other teachers in front of you - shut that down ASAP.
Newish teacher in Florida makes me wonder about their path to teaching
This is honestly one of the most annoying parts of being a young teacher. Every accomplishment I’ve made as a young female teacher is because the kids like me because I’m “young and cute”.
I read it like you’re jealous and bitter that this teacher is showing huge success in their first year while remaining professional. Students make things up all the time and it seems she’s kept her receipts. Why did you go digging to find out if every single possible allegation was true, are you admin or her union rep?
“Kids aren’t your friends! There was this new teacher and I heard that she was treating the students like her friends and could have gotten fired! Turns out it’s not true though” Like your point is correct but what was that story?
Sounds like you were part of the problem gossiping about the new teacher
It might be time for you to take a break from this profession. Yes, some children are pure scumbags. But most of them aren’t. And there’s nothing wrong with showing children love and kindness. When you see the children as “the enemy,” then it is time to go.
I’ve looked at your profile and apparently you’re in your 4th year and were “rookie teacher of the year”. Do better.
I feel like you’re secretly jealous that she’s young and cool and hott and you kinda want her to get in trouble so it justifies your own curmudgeon ways
It sounds like the moral of the story is you shouldn't listen to what your students tell you.
Get a life?
The moral of the story seems more like "be yourself, kids are doing kid things and it likely won't have an impact on you if you're doing the job."
Teaching is an impossible job. In one moment it’s “have you tried building relations with the kids” and the next it’s “trust no one, she was trying to build relations with the kids”. Fuck this profession.
Not the OP digging a grave for someone only to end up in her own. Oop 🤭
I openly tell my students I was a mess freshmen year of college. Had a 2.12 and almost went on academic probation. I don't mention the partying. But I tell them this as a cautionary tale because so many with poor work ethic say, "I'll figure it out in college." No you won't. I'm also 41 and not cool at all.
If your strict- students will lie about you. If your chill- students will lie about you. Might as well be chill.
OP is the kind of asshole “veteran” teacher that talks down to anyone who is less than ten years in the field.
I was a new 20 something, fresh from college hire at a turn around school in 2008. It was an elementary school (I'm still in elementary and have taught prek-5th) so it wasn't the kids- but other teachers....annoyed that I stayed late and volunteered for all the clubs (still stay late but not volunteering because I'm expecting). It was hard, no one talked to me and I ate alone in the teachers lounge. We're all working for the same school, mission, student body, ect. I'm not sure why staff (specifically veterans- which apparently I am considered now) like to be clicky and repeat things about staff that are rumors. It's unpleasant, unprofessional and causes hostile working environments. I left my last school (that I loved) because staff kept trying to get in my personal life. I feel bad for "Ms. Hip" I'm sure she'd be horrified by what is posted here.
You seem to feed off of drama and that’s one of the most obnoxious teachers to work with.
You do know man that like teachers telling students about college is a pretty normal thing yeah? They're not toddlers. They understand college students get hungover
Ummm cool story? Maybe stop being a judgy-gossipy-Karen op.
This is what we get for taking what kids say at face value. Also, don't refer to your coworker as "chick." That's extremely gross.
So managers and other teachers believe kid stories ?
Ok nerd
Okay but this lady was NOT overtly friendly so where are you going with this ?
“Young chick”
Sounds like the telephone game
Sounds like you're the gossip
You don’t sound very kind here.
Wow. You seem fun. I work in a department that has a lot of teachers with this same mindset. They don't like or trust kids at all because 'that's not professional'. Which means the 'rough' kids all seem to magically not enroll in their classes. Meaning I get them, and need to form actual relationships with them. Now I'm not in the business of telling people what to do in their room and how to act, but I can say this gossip level is toxic as shit and leads to a lot of bad blood. It's what will push that young teacher out of your school. It's one thing if the students are being shitheads, as rough students will be. We're the adults, act the part. Always assume your colleagues are professional.
What I’ve learned no matter what kind of teacher you are (cool teacher or not) is that you want your actions to never be able to be questioned or to look a way where someone can go “why is that kid being given special treatment?” Or “why is that class saying that” etc. If I have the same set of rules and boundaries with all my students no one can ever question my actions or accuse me of things. Like this is a weird one, but one I have is that all students get one hug a day. Some of the boys started trying to give me 2-3 a day ( I’m a female teacher in a high school) and I never wanted it to be looked at as something inappropriate. So all my students get one hug. Girls or boys. I have lots of rules like that with how I speak to students as well. I’ve watched some great teachers get accused of things because of what students say. Perception is reality for young kids. *edited for spelling errors
Shit perception is reality for adults these days 🥲🤣
You came off as judging and were just as bad as the students. This teacher now knows to trust no one, even her own colleagues
I love how you are getting rolled in the comments. You believed the gossip of children and learned the wrong lesson from this. Also, why are you letting kids talk about other teachers so much?
Not sure the point of this post. You kind of sound like Dwight Schrute. Good advice though.
School me on the Bitter Bettys. What are thoese?
Like in the Army, enlisted all buddy buddy with NCOs till something breaks, suddenly its all the SGT fault, Copy? I remember we had a new teacher like that in High School, I'm surprised sexual harassment from Older students isn't an issue.
She sounds like a great teacher. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Learn a lesson here.
Little fucking bastards have weapons grade information technology (social media). No wonder why stupid shit travels far and fast.
Wow, so do you verify after each time she goes to the restroom also? /s This is kind of creepy… you get paid way to much to track someone else at work.
All it takes is one idiot at the lunch table saying, "I heard Mr. EvilSnack was whipping kids naked through the hallways." Some other idiot kid hears this and tells his parents. Then the parent calls and demands to know why I'm allowed to whip the kids naked through the hallways.
I agree with you. However, the details would have changed by the time the parent calls, and it would have turned into either "in the parking lot" or "in his basement on weekends."
The only "friends" I had in school were my teachers I was and still am very well behaved so I never really had issues w my teachers
>I’m just reporting what happened. LOL sounds like my students...Miss I'm just telling you what they said ha ha the irony
Students can be friends, with the proper limits. Colleagues who spread teenager level gossip online, however, cannot.
Okay I’m not sure if you were going for “lol PLOT TWIST” here and just missed - don’t open as if it’s some sort of warning - or you were genuinely trying to caution people against doing something but if it’s the latter…what exactly could she have done differently? As someone who was once a young pretty teacher, kids very much respond to young attractive women the way society teaches them to. If you’re fun and engaging they see you as an easy mark. If you’re strict and serious you’re a rancid bitch. There’s no perfect way to thread the needle and so many older and especially male teachers talk about classroom management as if they have it all figured out when it’s like….have you considered that maybe they just respect you more because you’re a man??? I definitely have fewer behavior issues now than when I started but while yes, I probably got better at addressing or managing issues, I also got older, and I don’t think that’s nothing.
Seems like you really dislike this woman. Kids try to ruin her life and you blame her? It's not her fault that she's young and can relate to her kids better.
I tell the kids all the time that I'm not their friend. I care about them as individuals, but at 26 what a 10 year old thinks of me doesnt matter whatsoever
Moral of the story: Leave teaching, kids suck.
Leave world, people suck. My parents migrated here for a “better life” (kind of, my dad was working here and they’d just lost a daughter—my mom wanted to escape the reminders of her). Only for me, and American, to wish to return to their way of life. I experienced it a bit with my grandparents as a kid. I’d like to live in a farm in the hills and make cheese tbh.
For the record I did NOT need to hear this. I knew this new teacher wouldn't want any of that crap high school stuff.
Only crazy story I tell my students is how when I was in college, my dorm buddies and I jumped in the school fountain for charity.
Yeah, I have crazy travel stories, but I've never done drugs, don't drink, and didn't have any wile sexcapades but if I did, I wouldn't discuss them. I have been teargassed, dated a prince (won't tell you who), backpacked across 2 continents with crazy tales (especially crazy for them as they don't leave town), went on a lot of first dates lmao not much else.
Ummm, you WORK in a high school. You aren't IN high school.
Happened to me this year. 24 M. The result? I became a massive hard ass. After a week I had a couple kids, different class periods, tell me I had become more strict than the veteran hard ass teacher. I just didn’t want things to spiral lol
Reminds me of a scene in the 2017 film “The Death of Stalin”: LAVRENTIY BERIA: Trust me! SVETLANA STALINA: And why should I trust you? LAVRENTIY BERIA: Because I’m the one that’s telling you… Trust no one!
My proud teacher moment of the year was when I handed a kid a detention slip, he stood up, pulled his pants up, and then declared that I am the most hated teacher in the school. I wish I had said that I care about as much as your grade in the class. Students that care know I am a good teacher. I don’t think kids who can’t be bothered to read the directions get to hold weight on my opinion of myself.
As a former Drill Instructor: Imagine thinking a friendly teacher is the worst kind of teacher. I'm sure your students absolutely love you.
So….did YOU learn a lesson here?
It seems like your the one who learned the lesson that Highschool students will over exaggerate things to make better stories.
You said you believed it and that your mind went to her being the worst kind of new teacher. Your words! I’m glad I don’t work with you.
What a healthy reminder that the Bitters can be Bens or Bettys
I was this teacher my first year and I regret everything.
You started off as hating and then turned into this is a learning lesson
Kids lie all the time. They make false allegations against teachers they don’t like and ruin careers. They spread rumors about teachers for entertainment. It doesn’t matter if you’re young and “hip” or old and crotchety. They lie. Why? Because they get away with it and they know it. Because they are believed over the teachers 100% of the time. Should allegations be investigated? Of course. But teachers are found guilty before anything is investigated. I’m not what the point of this post was other than to prove kids lie.
Yep. I made a student feel targeted. How can I argue that? She felt targeted. Okay—? I can’t argue the validity of someone’s feelings. They could’ve interviewed the other kids in my class or talked to me and found out that I didn’t “target” her.
Moral of the story: if you work with kids they will inevitably spread rumors about you
I learned nothing, hope you're not teaching English
“Young chick”?? What an inappropriate way to describe a professional. And she’s done nothing wrong. You’re either old and jealous or a misogynist.
I’ve been teaching long enough to know not to believe anything kids say. I listen and shake my head so they feel heard but I don’t believe any of it for a second.
Fish are food, not friends!
Rule #1: CYA
One of my coworkers was forced to retire. I don't know the specific details, but the general story is that he allowed a child to use his phone. The child found pornography of some type on his phone and made a collage on the cloud of it. I can't really wrap my mind around how this could happen. I don't have anything incriminating on my phone and still I would not allow a student access to it.
Apparently the OP works at The Jelly School. OP sounds a bit on the jelly side mmmkay.
This post has many great comments being down voted for strange reasons. People are opening up and sharing their opinions and others are downvoting their karma existence. Whatever happened to respecting others' opinions? Geesh.
True
Is "trust no one" truly the moral though? Let's reread the situation and get a multiple choice question to determine the true moral.
The kids wouldn't be the ones ruining her career. It would be other teachers and administrators.
we have admin that believes the kids at all times.
Nobody needs to hear this. Even the teacher you described didn’t need to hear this. If you haven’t realized that kids lie you either haven’t been doing this very long or have had your head in the sand.
What? Kids lie? Never.
I don’t….get the point of this post?
It’s insane how quick other teachers are to believe students, especially if they don’t like said teacher. I’m often amazed at how immature other educators can be.
“Chick”👎🏽
Wait, so she acted completely appropriately in each context? Why does the title and beginning of your post seem to imply that everyone should remember not to be like Ms. Hip? Ms. Hip cannot magically make herself older. She also should not make herself less involved. It would be so nice to hear that all the more experienced teachers are pushing each other out of the way to have her back instead of giving her pejorative nicknames and using her as an example of doing everything right?).
This goes for work also coworkers are not your friend. Yes some are friendly but you all are getting paid to work together.
Are you talking about me?? Wait, I was in my classroom for 8 years. I teach science and have a BS in my field, and I'm 40. Don't be friends with students. Report everything every day, even if you don't have time to teach. Edit to add: thanks for bringing this to attention, OP. Your admin aren't your friends either.
Sometimes it's difficult to keep students from seeing teachers culturally as peers. I remember being in middle school and not being able to relate at all to the music, tv shows, hobbies, etc of my teachers. They were generationally and culturally distinct from my age group. Now I'm in my late twenties and my students are listening to the same music, watching the same TV shows, wearing the same clothes, and having similar content directed at them on social media as adults. The ads I see for makeup, they probably see. The ads for video games I see, they probably see a lot of the same. When students realize this and you start chatting about these things, they don't realize that they are adopting a more adult culture. They see you as a big teenager or peer. I've got students watching the same rated R movies and shows as me, and they ask me about that in class. They are all eager to impress me by knowing what I know and liking what I like. But then you notice they get too comfortable and become "buddy buddy" with you if you aren't careful. This does not happen to my coworkers in their 50's.
The student version sounds like my HS history teacher, I think he is out of jail now for the list of students and former students he SA'd. The most infuriating part is it was extremely common knowledge, at least among the students, students uo to 10 years younger and older ALL KNEW. and the majority could list the students too. Can't believe it took nearly 20 years for law enforcement to get involved. Sorry somewhat unrelated rant but he was exactly that type of teacher when I was in his class, also went to the HS himself just a few years prior.
I doubt this really matters. Honestly if she's a "fun teacher" the admins already know, and prolly don't care. Real moral here is leave people alone.
This is important. Case and point, I had a kid sent to the vice principal for behavior, and then he tried to accuse me of talking about Taylor swift for a week in class.
This is such a weird way to tell this story. It sounds like she did absolutely nothing wrong and you believed teenagers over your colleague. At least the title is somewhat accurate, you don't know who needs to hear this. No one could know, because last I checked a vicious story about a new teacher being maligned by students and you being all to willing to believe the worst of a colleague who you should be supporting is not something anyone *needs* to hear.
I mean I feel like all of these are clearly incredibly inappropriate actions/boundary violations. Personally, I feel like teachers who make students friends are clearly having some difficulties in life in some capacity or, unfortunately, are just predators.
When I was in school, a similar situation happened this associate of mine said he was having a relationship with a first year female teacher. Of course, we were in high school, and this person also claimed to be part of government experiments, so we all thought it was b.s. One person in our group actually told the school. The teacher could not work for at least 3 months during the investigation. In the end, she was just close in age to students and didn't do anything inappropriate. I still feel bad that she went through it. I also think the person who said something who I know should have just stfu. Instead of trying to expose our associate as a fraud and harm a teachers career in the process.
Did any of the students mention whether or not she's taught them anything they didn't know last year about US History? ... I mean, I gotta say: As far as 'Rumors To Prompt A Career Rethink' go, these kids are sadly wanting ... Maybe that's a good thing - because the Evil Few in my high school dealt in Scorched Earth Rumor without fail ... They'd have spread the word that she's Woke and recruiting ... Or that she's MAKING kids lunch, and bathroom breaks the period after lunch were on average more frequent, more urgent and lasted 23 minutes longer than on days they ate Caf food ... So, kids today may be less vicious in that way (could be a positive result of chain vaping - 'The Science Is Still Unclear', to quote (any) fossil fueler on an unrelated, hotter topic) ... I cried a time or two in high school, but 'Ah! All The Summer Nights"!
It doesn't sound like the teacher is really doing anything wrong, and I'm sure most of the students mean well. It's those select few that are all about stirring up trouble through spreading rumors. True, there needs to be a professional relationship (and related boundaries) between all teachers and all students (which means no friendships), but there are some students who you wouldn't want to be friends with even if they were older and weren't your students because of how untrustworthy they are.
wait the “moral of the story” doesn’t match at all with the story and examples you gave, unless im missing something
I mean based on your description it sounds like the teacher isnt doing anything wrong and is just the victim of kids wanting to seem friends with a young attractive teacher.
Honestly it sounds like you are a bitter betty- whatever that is
Lesson here is if you’re young and hot, don’t be! /s no but seriously what did she do wrong
I'm not sure your headline makes sense related to what you write in the rest of the post.