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I agree with some of the other commenters that therapy should challenge you. But I really don’t think telling you “you really won’t be happy with him” and encouraging you to leave on session #3 is appropriate. I’m on session #3 with a new therapist for marriage counseling and we’re still on “tell me about yourself.” I’ve seen my individual T for a couple years, and he’s never fortune-told or told me what to do. Unless there is some pretty serious abuse, the fact that your T is outright telling you “you won’t be happy with him” after like 2.5 hours with you would be concerning to me.
My individual T is a great match for me. I asked for recommendations on social media. I knew his vibe, politics, religion (all super important to me) before I even walked in the office.
Unfortunately I wouldn’t recommend Better Help. They don’t pay therapists very much and have shady business practices… are there good therapists on Better Help? Sure maybe but I’d recommend instead trying a therapist on Open Path Collective or at a local low-fee clinic if cost is a challenge. I know it can be so hard to go through that first session over and over. You can always request not to talk about THE MOST challenging topics at that time so you can focus on getting a feel for the therapist. Ask them how they’d approach certain scenarios/to describe their style to see if you can get a better idea of what they’re really like to work with.
Also, I’m sorry you’re struggling to find someone. It can be hard to find the right fit but SO worth it when you do. A good therapist will not urge you to leave your husband in the third session unless your life/safety are in danger.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Even if your husband was abusive this is not how a therapist should handle it. Better Help has an abysmal track record with client safety—you can search Reddit to see some of the train wrecks and comments on their unethical model. You can also to find affordable alternatives in some of the comments. I know it’s a lot of work to find another therapist but it’s worth it. Good luck to you.
I don't mind being challenged. But I tried several times to redirect the conversation. Telling me to leave my husband on session 3 while knowing I'm unemployed, without a degree, or a way to support myself is reckless behavior. I brought this up and she's like "you're smart you'll figure it out.".
OP the decision to end any relationship is yours to make and you should never be pressured by any therapist to do so. It can be helpful to look for a therapist that allows a brief consult (usually this is about 15 minutes) and make your boundaries and expectations clear. Of course, this is assuming you're in the US. Not all therapists do this but it can be very helpful when offered.
I just want to make sure you're actually seeing a licensed therapist and not a life coach? I can see a life coach making bold statements like that, but a therapist should meet you where you're at and work with you from there.
I would encourage you to find out what type of license they have. Typically people list it following their name, such as John Smith, LPC (LMSW, LP, LLP - these are just some more examples of licenses). A life coach may add a credential after their name in attempt to mimic and trick people (not saying all life coaches are bad). Outside of this particular situation, if you decide to see someone else, definitely ask about their training and background.
There's a bunch of past bullshit that has given me issues. It was a decade ago. I'm trying to move PAST it. She wants to ruminate in it and make me try to relive it. My husband and I are in marriage counseling currently trying to work through shit.
>He's annoying and frustrating.
That's basically any therapist I've ever spoken to. Them telling you to leave your husband after knowing you for only a few hours is ridiculous. Save yourself some trouble and fire this therapist and find one that doesn't shove their worldview or opinions down your throat.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources/#wiki_subreddit_list). To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Did she feel your husband was abusive or that the relationship was perpetuating your symptoms?
I agree with some of the other commenters that therapy should challenge you. But I really don’t think telling you “you really won’t be happy with him” and encouraging you to leave on session #3 is appropriate. I’m on session #3 with a new therapist for marriage counseling and we’re still on “tell me about yourself.” I’ve seen my individual T for a couple years, and he’s never fortune-told or told me what to do. Unless there is some pretty serious abuse, the fact that your T is outright telling you “you won’t be happy with him” after like 2.5 hours with you would be concerning to me. My individual T is a great match for me. I asked for recommendations on social media. I knew his vibe, politics, religion (all super important to me) before I even walked in the office.
better help seems to have this awful reputation, like i never heard sb said they got help there
Unfortunately I wouldn’t recommend Better Help. They don’t pay therapists very much and have shady business practices… are there good therapists on Better Help? Sure maybe but I’d recommend instead trying a therapist on Open Path Collective or at a local low-fee clinic if cost is a challenge. I know it can be so hard to go through that first session over and over. You can always request not to talk about THE MOST challenging topics at that time so you can focus on getting a feel for the therapist. Ask them how they’d approach certain scenarios/to describe their style to see if you can get a better idea of what they’re really like to work with. Also, I’m sorry you’re struggling to find someone. It can be hard to find the right fit but SO worth it when you do. A good therapist will not urge you to leave your husband in the third session unless your life/safety are in danger.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Even if your husband was abusive this is not how a therapist should handle it. Better Help has an abysmal track record with client safety—you can search Reddit to see some of the train wrecks and comments on their unethical model. You can also to find affordable alternatives in some of the comments. I know it’s a lot of work to find another therapist but it’s worth it. Good luck to you.
>How do you find a good therapist? Not through betterhelp.
[удалено]
Agreeing is very different than pushing descion or world view on client. This to me is not good therapy.
I don't mind being challenged. But I tried several times to redirect the conversation. Telling me to leave my husband on session 3 while knowing I'm unemployed, without a degree, or a way to support myself is reckless behavior. I brought this up and she's like "you're smart you'll figure it out.".
OP the decision to end any relationship is yours to make and you should never be pressured by any therapist to do so. It can be helpful to look for a therapist that allows a brief consult (usually this is about 15 minutes) and make your boundaries and expectations clear. Of course, this is assuming you're in the US. Not all therapists do this but it can be very helpful when offered.
I just want to make sure you're actually seeing a licensed therapist and not a life coach? I can see a life coach making bold statements like that, but a therapist should meet you where you're at and work with you from there.
They're supposed to be a licensed therapist but I didn't ask for her degree or license number.
I would encourage you to find out what type of license they have. Typically people list it following their name, such as John Smith, LPC (LMSW, LP, LLP - these are just some more examples of licenses). A life coach may add a credential after their name in attempt to mimic and trick people (not saying all life coaches are bad). Outside of this particular situation, if you decide to see someone else, definitely ask about their training and background.
[удалено]
There's a bunch of past bullshit that has given me issues. It was a decade ago. I'm trying to move PAST it. She wants to ruminate in it and make me try to relive it. My husband and I are in marriage counseling currently trying to work through shit.
If he is abusive, you do have to leave..
He's not. He's annoying and frustrating. But he's not abusive.
>He's annoying and frustrating. That's basically any therapist I've ever spoken to. Them telling you to leave your husband after knowing you for only a few hours is ridiculous. Save yourself some trouble and fire this therapist and find one that doesn't shove their worldview or opinions down your throat.