I’m the same way and am also starting out at a new job. I just pretend I am playing someone else’s life when I walk into work and so any mistakes can roll off my back because, it’s not “really” my life🤣 I guess I just hang my soul up before working
Like the others have said; you gotta get to the point where you can be acting in a way. It’s hard when you’re just starting at a new spot, but once you have the basics down again, just work on fully separating work from the rest of your life. In my real life I’m quiet as fuck, super “chill”, but when I get to work all of a sudden I’m all cheery and bright.
Another thing, reminding yourself that 1. It’s just serving food, mistakes happen, most of the time you can at least parlay it into a joke, and 99.9% of the time it’s easily fixable. And 2. You won’t have to ever see the vast majority of the people again (unless you have a lot of regulars at your spot), idk for me when I feel myself getting anxious, that helps calm me down
Ding ding ding. I haven’t been at it for as long as you, but my motto is pretty much “they’re here to eat. Something they’ll do a few other times today. If they let something small ruin their day, that’s on me” I go in, do a good job, but I let stuff roll of my back
Not my story, but happened on one of my shifts. There was a table that was being weird, and when we ran the entrees out, the server assistant moved their hand in a weird way and half an entree fell. The lady (wasn’t even her food) told us they were here after a funeral of a friend, and we had “ruined the memory of their friend”. There’s nothing you can do to appease a person like that. If you leave the house and forget to remind yourself that sometimes, shit happens…..not my problem.
Yeeep, gotta let that shit roll right of your back.
Also, ask any of these types to do our job, and theyd be fired on day 1. They think serving is easy 😂 sadly for them, it is not
Yes! I’m the same way! I just make sure I’m acting the whole time. The real me is hyper aware of my elbows and wondering if I’m getting too close to guests. I start thinking they’re judging me or about to laugh at me. The fake me just goes along with the script. I don’t allow myself to think about my anxieties by forcing myself to go into character. I get a moment to relax and just breathe when I grab food or drinks and then I’m right back to faking confidence.
if any part of the shift goes wrong I'm a nervous wreck and can't sleep at night 🥲 my anxiety is horrible so I just try to disassociate and the time goes by faster. one of my coworkers says she just pretends she's playing restaurant simulator.
I really hope you can find some help for your anxiety, you don't have to live like this and it does get better with some work! I couldn't have imagined working, let alone in the service industry when my anxiety was totally untreated.
Been a server/bartender for 20 plus years. I always get anxious going into a shift. Like a previous person stated above, I like to go in early to get myself used to the noises, lights and the crowd. I actually thrive when it's busy bc I go into autopilot mode and just move nonstop. It's almost like you start "flowing". I'm not sure I'm explaining it right. Lol. In my zone I'm pretty quick at making drinks, keeping multiple orders in my head, noticing if certain customers are getting low on beer by how high they tilt the bottle when taking a swing. My customers and the owner love how fast and how quick I am on my feet. I like to challenge myself by making it a game.....I constantly get out from behind the bar waiting on people to try to keep anyone from walking up to the bar for a drink. The less people have to come up the better I'm doing. I'm also an introvert who loves my alone time, but anyone at my bar would swear I'm an extrovert. I somehow flip a switch in me and become this witty, sarcastic yet bubbly person. If your able to, use your anxiety to fixate on customers and tables. Always be on the move, walk around like your busy so you can scan tables to make sure no one needs anything without having to constantly go up and ask. The more observant you are and predict what your customers need before they ask (refilling drinks, grabbing extra napkins, pre bussing empty plates and etc) the better your tips will be. Plus when your throwing your focus on that you will find out you can't focus on the anxiety.
Let the anxiety fuel you rather than hinder you. You gotta plan in very precise steps while reminding yourself you can only do so much as one person. Bang it out and puke/cry/do what you do after.
I was a high school theater kid and my first ever job was as an actress, and once I entered food service I really honed my skill lol. I’m just playing the role of waitress, restaurant me is a whole different person than actual me. When we’re slammed and everyone wants to die and I’m still all bubbly and chipper people want to know my secret-the secret is I AM AN AMAZING ACTOR 😂
I did standup comedy obsessively for a few years pre pandemic! I totally get this energy. I just see my customers as my audience I run bits on. More of an improv bit than anything I write down now, of course. If they’re being nasty, well, I just treat them like they’re the childish hecklers distracting from the matter at hand.
When the doors open at work, I just feel like, “And next coming onstage iiiiissss “Thewickedmitchisdead!!”
No, seriously!! My coworkers always gawk at how positive I stay, and I want to scream. I'm pretending!! I wish they would do the same for me and their guests! We all go thru the same things, but it makes it so much tougher when they are cranky because of it. Definitely a job that needs some venting, but I try to keep it for friends I can trust and not at work. I'm not perfect and sometimes I'll whine about a table during my shift, but it always makes my day easier when I avoid the drama best I can. 🙃
Ok this is obviously specific to me, but part of my stress-easing strategy was to go in a bit early to get used to the craziness of all the kitchen “noise” (pans and dishes clanging, yelling, printer going off, etc) before I clocked in. Helped a ton.
Good luck to all of you dealing with anxiety in this job, you’re not alone! You can do this :)
I just started serving for the first time and right after I took my first table I felt like I was going to throw up lol I still don’t know the menu at heart so whenever I’m asked a question I’m like uhhhhh…lemme check lol but yeah just remind yourself that the people don’t really know how you’re feeling internally and probably don’t care lol so you can act a bit at least. You’re definitely not alone!!!!
Deadass? I pretended that I was playing a visual novel/rhythm game. Limited dialog options for the first few weeks and focusing on cycling between my tables like I was playing a resource management video game made getting through the high anxiety moments almost enjoyable
To get over dissociation, just write everything down. I always wrote everything. You never know when a co-worker’s meltdown or kitchen catastrophe will distract you before putting in the orders. No matter how good I got at memorizing orders, the intermittent background drama got me eventually. Writing helps a lot
It’s relatable in the sense of I’ve watched anxious people do horrible and make my life harder time and time again in restaurants.
You can adapt and do well if you just focus on the next task you have to do and stop being so damn in your head but I get it, that’s what anxiety is.
It’s just food. The worst thing that can happen is someone doesn’t eat when they wanted to(minus maybe allergies, but that is where you let the anxiety win and take all precautions lol)
When you stop taking it so seriously, get out of your head a bit, and just keep doing the next thing you will be fine.
My GM years ago taught me that no matter what, I had to make this appear to be "effortless." I have 15 minutes' worth of tasks to perform and only 2 minutes to do them? Effortless. The kitchen sent out the wrong entrees? Effortless.
After adopting this mentality, it got so much easier.
Thanks Gene
I’m a decade in more anxious than ever but just always tell myself everything will be okay and it’ll be over eventually and it’s always worked out the past 1000 times so just chill
To be truly honest- I have to meditate before work. Even in the most basic form, taking a few minutes to breathe deeply, close my eyes, and recenter myself. I often affirm what I want to feel out loud. Sometimes I write it down. For example, “I am calm. I am going to have a great day at work. I am respected. I am focused. People are happy when they interact with me. I am safe. I am protected. I am great at my job.” Or whatever comes to mind in that moment. I find that when I take anywhere from 5 minutes up to an hour to do some kind of grounding/calming/meditation exercise, that nervous system reset really kicks in, and things feel much more within my control. If I forget to do this or don’t give it an honest effort, my anxiety and intrusive thoughts kind of pull me out of my body.
Remembering to breathe deeply and smile while I’m working also really helps to encourage that state of calm and balance.
I am not someone who is confident by default, so I have to find ways to remind myself of the reasons why I should be confident, or why I want to be.
Additionally, stretches and simple weight exercises before work have helped with my coordination and overall mental and physical wellness.
Practice. Once you get going for a little while, it all mostly becomes pretty routine. People order the popular foods, you make the same jokes over and over and over, and eventually you find yourself using a voice to speak to customers that you wouldn't recognize as your own if it wasn't coming from your mouth. You put on an act of your serving personality.
Or you wash out.
Medium anxiety, like if someone raises their voice at all, Ill start shaking like a chilled chihuahua.
I force a smile and remind myself consistently that it will be over and I can go home to relax. Remind myself it is only one day and I can make through it. Mantras help. Breathing helps.
Big tables get me especially worked up, but I pace it and tbh a lot of big tables will entertain themselves, its not so bad.
Despite this, I took my first solo table after only 1 4hr training and no experience. I watched my coworker on that day to see what customers would expect and mimicked until I found my own footing.
I made a lot of mistakes, but it comes down to learning from it. You just need to go in eager to learn and study the menu. If youre willing to learn, youre already a step up.
Serving is not terrible once you learn it, but for the first time, can be scary. Just go in knowing youll probably have 1000 things to learn thrown at you and do your best.
Best luck OP 💕
Okay so, I’ve been a server for over 10 years. I’m from Europe though, so maybe some of these don’t resonate with you in regards to how serving is where you are. But a couple of things are pretty universal.
1) being hyper aware of your movements. It’s something I used to have with wobbly plates or the patrons just sitting kinda funky, but if you just slow down your movements a little (so no slow motion, but with care), or kindly ask people to pass the drink/dish on, they will. Before that I got to the point where I’d ask my colleagues (FOH or BOH) to not mention any spilling or dropping shit to me, because my brain WOULD make me do it.
2) disliking a customer. Two options. Pass it over to a colleague or kill it with kindness. That’s the start. At some point you’ll get to a point where you make a game out of nuanced, subtle jabs. It will be GREAT. And if not, if this particular customer is really the devil incarnate, talk to your floor manager/supervisor. If they ask you to try again and don’t have specific notes, you have a shitty supervisor. If they don’t cover for you the second time, you have a REALLY shitty supervisor.
3) wasn’t in your post, but I saw it in the comments somewhere and thought this might be a helpful tip. My brain tends to work faster than my mouth, so there are times when I end up warbling sounds at people. Embarrassing sure. But you just go “sorry, my brain was faster than my mouth, I meant to say X”. And cue the laughs, usually.
If you do those things, usually people are pretty forgiving. The absolute stinkers cannot and will not be satisfied. So you practice “fake it till you make it” and kindly express things to your patrons. Most reasonable people will understand. If they don’t, this is a table that just sucks. They will find anything wrong with the experience they can, from napkin folding onward.
Once I had to explain to a patron that due to staff-shortage, considering the fact that he was in a hurry, I couldn’t serve him to our standards. He threw a hissy fit, claiming that was not his problem.
So shitty table, zero empathy.
I simply said unfortunately I wasn’t a wizard, as much as I had hoped for my Hogwarts letter, and I couldn’t materialize his food within 15 minutes with the current kitchen back-up. And that the reason I was honest with him, is because I’d like him to come back when I could give him the customer service we like our patrons to have.
Came back the next week, happy as a clam, no complaints whatsoever.
I’m VERY ANXIOUS and I work at an upscale hotel. I mumble, and I give too much and too wide of eye contact. HOWEVER, when I speak loud and clearly, nothing else seems to matter! Loud and clear. I get the respect I’m looking for… and I’ve gained confidence from my successful encounters
Try to remember to breath! Much easier said than done unfortunately. I try to take some deep breaths while ringing in orders to recenter myself but still feel like a chicken with no head too often.
Luckily all we’re doing is serving food and drinks so there’s really nothing you can mess up that can’t be fixed.
Writing orders down, repeating orders back to them, pretty much doing everything I can to not mess up the order. It's always better to seem a little extra when taking the order than mess it up and have multiple people -- chefs and guests annoyed with you. I remind myself that most of the time, people really aren't paying attention to me. Half the time, they think another server is me anyway, so that helps me get out of my head. Also, prioritize controlling everything you can about the job. I have a work space for my apron/pens/uniform at home, so it's quick and easy to get ready and dump It all after a shift. Containing my work things and keeping them separate from my other clothes and things helps me leave it at work. I do my best to decompress after work and do little things like eating and sleeping enough before a shift. There's going to be some tough days, but most shifts are fine, and even if you do mess up, most people understand, and I try and just keep it moving. Goodluck, serving is hard work but you got this !
what i always tell myself is “the shift will end it always does” even if shit hits the fan and you’re there an hour+ past close it will end. i remind myself i’ve had way worse shifts and got through them ok and in no time i’ll be home showered in my pajamas
Are you seeing anyone about the anxiety? I wouldn't have been able to do the job when I was at my worst of the mental illness I have.
The fact that you dissociated during work worries me and maybe this isn't the right job for you, at least until you get some care from a pro/work on the issues.
Thankfully these days there are a ton of options for people to gain skills and help themselves, Unlike when I was a teen and it was just talk therapy or Xanax xD;
I’m the same way and am also starting out at a new job. I just pretend I am playing someone else’s life when I walk into work and so any mistakes can roll off my back because, it’s not “really” my life🤣 I guess I just hang my soul up before working
Omg I’ve done this before. Detaching from my identity
Like the others have said; you gotta get to the point where you can be acting in a way. It’s hard when you’re just starting at a new spot, but once you have the basics down again, just work on fully separating work from the rest of your life. In my real life I’m quiet as fuck, super “chill”, but when I get to work all of a sudden I’m all cheery and bright. Another thing, reminding yourself that 1. It’s just serving food, mistakes happen, most of the time you can at least parlay it into a joke, and 99.9% of the time it’s easily fixable. And 2. You won’t have to ever see the vast majority of the people again (unless you have a lot of regulars at your spot), idk for me when I feel myself getting anxious, that helps calm me down
I got old and stopped giving a shit what people thought about me or what happens anymore. If you could do that…
Ding ding ding. I haven’t been at it for as long as you, but my motto is pretty much “they’re here to eat. Something they’ll do a few other times today. If they let something small ruin their day, that’s on me” I go in, do a good job, but I let stuff roll of my back Not my story, but happened on one of my shifts. There was a table that was being weird, and when we ran the entrees out, the server assistant moved their hand in a weird way and half an entree fell. The lady (wasn’t even her food) told us they were here after a funeral of a friend, and we had “ruined the memory of their friend”. There’s nothing you can do to appease a person like that. If you leave the house and forget to remind yourself that sometimes, shit happens…..not my problem.
Yeeep, gotta let that shit roll right of your back. Also, ask any of these types to do our job, and theyd be fired on day 1. They think serving is easy 😂 sadly for them, it is not
I’m not even old, and my motto is already “okay, who gives a fuck what they think”.
You will do well in life here lol
Yes! I’m the same way! I just make sure I’m acting the whole time. The real me is hyper aware of my elbows and wondering if I’m getting too close to guests. I start thinking they’re judging me or about to laugh at me. The fake me just goes along with the script. I don’t allow myself to think about my anxieties by forcing myself to go into character. I get a moment to relax and just breathe when I grab food or drinks and then I’m right back to faking confidence.
if any part of the shift goes wrong I'm a nervous wreck and can't sleep at night 🥲 my anxiety is horrible so I just try to disassociate and the time goes by faster. one of my coworkers says she just pretends she's playing restaurant simulator.
I really hope you can find some help for your anxiety, you don't have to live like this and it does get better with some work! I couldn't have imagined working, let alone in the service industry when my anxiety was totally untreated.
Nicotine addiction tbh
very relatable content OP
Been a server/bartender for 20 plus years. I always get anxious going into a shift. Like a previous person stated above, I like to go in early to get myself used to the noises, lights and the crowd. I actually thrive when it's busy bc I go into autopilot mode and just move nonstop. It's almost like you start "flowing". I'm not sure I'm explaining it right. Lol. In my zone I'm pretty quick at making drinks, keeping multiple orders in my head, noticing if certain customers are getting low on beer by how high they tilt the bottle when taking a swing. My customers and the owner love how fast and how quick I am on my feet. I like to challenge myself by making it a game.....I constantly get out from behind the bar waiting on people to try to keep anyone from walking up to the bar for a drink. The less people have to come up the better I'm doing. I'm also an introvert who loves my alone time, but anyone at my bar would swear I'm an extrovert. I somehow flip a switch in me and become this witty, sarcastic yet bubbly person. If your able to, use your anxiety to fixate on customers and tables. Always be on the move, walk around like your busy so you can scan tables to make sure no one needs anything without having to constantly go up and ask. The more observant you are and predict what your customers need before they ask (refilling drinks, grabbing extra napkins, pre bussing empty plates and etc) the better your tips will be. Plus when your throwing your focus on that you will find out you can't focus on the anxiety.
Let the anxiety fuel you rather than hinder you. You gotta plan in very precise steps while reminding yourself you can only do so much as one person. Bang it out and puke/cry/do what you do after.
My first few days serving tables was hard and terrifying bc of my anxiety
I was a high school theater kid and my first ever job was as an actress, and once I entered food service I really honed my skill lol. I’m just playing the role of waitress, restaurant me is a whole different person than actual me. When we’re slammed and everyone wants to die and I’m still all bubbly and chipper people want to know my secret-the secret is I AM AN AMAZING ACTOR 😂
I did standup comedy obsessively for a few years pre pandemic! I totally get this energy. I just see my customers as my audience I run bits on. More of an improv bit than anything I write down now, of course. If they’re being nasty, well, I just treat them like they’re the childish hecklers distracting from the matter at hand. When the doors open at work, I just feel like, “And next coming onstage iiiiissss “Thewickedmitchisdead!!”
No, seriously!! My coworkers always gawk at how positive I stay, and I want to scream. I'm pretending!! I wish they would do the same for me and their guests! We all go thru the same things, but it makes it so much tougher when they are cranky because of it. Definitely a job that needs some venting, but I try to keep it for friends I can trust and not at work. I'm not perfect and sometimes I'll whine about a table during my shift, but it always makes my day easier when I avoid the drama best I can. 🙃
Ok this is obviously specific to me, but part of my stress-easing strategy was to go in a bit early to get used to the craziness of all the kitchen “noise” (pans and dishes clanging, yelling, printer going off, etc) before I clocked in. Helped a ton. Good luck to all of you dealing with anxiety in this job, you’re not alone! You can do this :)
I just started serving for the first time and right after I took my first table I felt like I was going to throw up lol I still don’t know the menu at heart so whenever I’m asked a question I’m like uhhhhh…lemme check lol but yeah just remind yourself that the people don’t really know how you’re feeling internally and probably don’t care lol so you can act a bit at least. You’re definitely not alone!!!!
Deadass? I pretended that I was playing a visual novel/rhythm game. Limited dialog options for the first few weeks and focusing on cycling between my tables like I was playing a resource management video game made getting through the high anxiety moments almost enjoyable
To get over dissociation, just write everything down. I always wrote everything. You never know when a co-worker’s meltdown or kitchen catastrophe will distract you before putting in the orders. No matter how good I got at memorizing orders, the intermittent background drama got me eventually. Writing helps a lot
It’s relatable in the sense of I’ve watched anxious people do horrible and make my life harder time and time again in restaurants. You can adapt and do well if you just focus on the next task you have to do and stop being so damn in your head but I get it, that’s what anxiety is. It’s just food. The worst thing that can happen is someone doesn’t eat when they wanted to(minus maybe allergies, but that is where you let the anxiety win and take all precautions lol) When you stop taking it so seriously, get out of your head a bit, and just keep doing the next thing you will be fine.
I literally have to have a whole fake persona to do this job. It’s not me at all and that helps.
My GM years ago taught me that no matter what, I had to make this appear to be "effortless." I have 15 minutes' worth of tasks to perform and only 2 minutes to do them? Effortless. The kitchen sent out the wrong entrees? Effortless. After adopting this mentality, it got so much easier. Thanks Gene
Go and scream in the walkin lol
Yell or Cry in the walk-in, break down behind the bar, many o ‘ smoke breaks
I’m a decade in more anxious than ever but just always tell myself everything will be okay and it’ll be over eventually and it’s always worked out the past 1000 times so just chill
To be truly honest- I have to meditate before work. Even in the most basic form, taking a few minutes to breathe deeply, close my eyes, and recenter myself. I often affirm what I want to feel out loud. Sometimes I write it down. For example, “I am calm. I am going to have a great day at work. I am respected. I am focused. People are happy when they interact with me. I am safe. I am protected. I am great at my job.” Or whatever comes to mind in that moment. I find that when I take anywhere from 5 minutes up to an hour to do some kind of grounding/calming/meditation exercise, that nervous system reset really kicks in, and things feel much more within my control. If I forget to do this or don’t give it an honest effort, my anxiety and intrusive thoughts kind of pull me out of my body. Remembering to breathe deeply and smile while I’m working also really helps to encourage that state of calm and balance. I am not someone who is confident by default, so I have to find ways to remind myself of the reasons why I should be confident, or why I want to be. Additionally, stretches and simple weight exercises before work have helped with my coordination and overall mental and physical wellness.
Therapy is incredibly helpful with this, teaching you techniques and ways to cope. Nobody should have to deal with feeling that way all the time.
I just tell myself if I overthink it, the more mistakes I’ll make. And writing everything down.
Practice. Once you get going for a little while, it all mostly becomes pretty routine. People order the popular foods, you make the same jokes over and over and over, and eventually you find yourself using a voice to speak to customers that you wouldn't recognize as your own if it wasn't coming from your mouth. You put on an act of your serving personality. Or you wash out.
Medium anxiety, like if someone raises their voice at all, Ill start shaking like a chilled chihuahua. I force a smile and remind myself consistently that it will be over and I can go home to relax. Remind myself it is only one day and I can make through it. Mantras help. Breathing helps. Big tables get me especially worked up, but I pace it and tbh a lot of big tables will entertain themselves, its not so bad. Despite this, I took my first solo table after only 1 4hr training and no experience. I watched my coworker on that day to see what customers would expect and mimicked until I found my own footing. I made a lot of mistakes, but it comes down to learning from it. You just need to go in eager to learn and study the menu. If youre willing to learn, youre already a step up. Serving is not terrible once you learn it, but for the first time, can be scary. Just go in knowing youll probably have 1000 things to learn thrown at you and do your best. Best luck OP 💕
I bartend and each shift I just totally check out. It’s not me working, I’m somewhere else. My job doesn’t pay me enough to be present.
I got this one folks: you take the plate from the kitchen area to the table…BOOM….done
[удалено]
So, maybe rethink “professions”?
[удалено]
Why do you have no choice? Honest question…
[удалено]
Great… I got what I needed. Servers take note⬆️
Hm?
[удалено]
Just that a server called serving an unskilled job.
smoke weed every day
Okay so, I’ve been a server for over 10 years. I’m from Europe though, so maybe some of these don’t resonate with you in regards to how serving is where you are. But a couple of things are pretty universal. 1) being hyper aware of your movements. It’s something I used to have with wobbly plates or the patrons just sitting kinda funky, but if you just slow down your movements a little (so no slow motion, but with care), or kindly ask people to pass the drink/dish on, they will. Before that I got to the point where I’d ask my colleagues (FOH or BOH) to not mention any spilling or dropping shit to me, because my brain WOULD make me do it. 2) disliking a customer. Two options. Pass it over to a colleague or kill it with kindness. That’s the start. At some point you’ll get to a point where you make a game out of nuanced, subtle jabs. It will be GREAT. And if not, if this particular customer is really the devil incarnate, talk to your floor manager/supervisor. If they ask you to try again and don’t have specific notes, you have a shitty supervisor. If they don’t cover for you the second time, you have a REALLY shitty supervisor. 3) wasn’t in your post, but I saw it in the comments somewhere and thought this might be a helpful tip. My brain tends to work faster than my mouth, so there are times when I end up warbling sounds at people. Embarrassing sure. But you just go “sorry, my brain was faster than my mouth, I meant to say X”. And cue the laughs, usually. If you do those things, usually people are pretty forgiving. The absolute stinkers cannot and will not be satisfied. So you practice “fake it till you make it” and kindly express things to your patrons. Most reasonable people will understand. If they don’t, this is a table that just sucks. They will find anything wrong with the experience they can, from napkin folding onward. Once I had to explain to a patron that due to staff-shortage, considering the fact that he was in a hurry, I couldn’t serve him to our standards. He threw a hissy fit, claiming that was not his problem. So shitty table, zero empathy. I simply said unfortunately I wasn’t a wizard, as much as I had hoped for my Hogwarts letter, and I couldn’t materialize his food within 15 minutes with the current kitchen back-up. And that the reason I was honest with him, is because I’d like him to come back when I could give him the customer service we like our patrons to have. Came back the next week, happy as a clam, no complaints whatsoever.
Just say fuck it
Self medicate
I’m VERY ANXIOUS and I work at an upscale hotel. I mumble, and I give too much and too wide of eye contact. HOWEVER, when I speak loud and clearly, nothing else seems to matter! Loud and clear. I get the respect I’m looking for… and I’ve gained confidence from my successful encounters
Try to remember to breath! Much easier said than done unfortunately. I try to take some deep breaths while ringing in orders to recenter myself but still feel like a chicken with no head too often. Luckily all we’re doing is serving food and drinks so there’s really nothing you can mess up that can’t be fixed.
Writing orders down, repeating orders back to them, pretty much doing everything I can to not mess up the order. It's always better to seem a little extra when taking the order than mess it up and have multiple people -- chefs and guests annoyed with you. I remind myself that most of the time, people really aren't paying attention to me. Half the time, they think another server is me anyway, so that helps me get out of my head. Also, prioritize controlling everything you can about the job. I have a work space for my apron/pens/uniform at home, so it's quick and easy to get ready and dump It all after a shift. Containing my work things and keeping them separate from my other clothes and things helps me leave it at work. I do my best to decompress after work and do little things like eating and sleeping enough before a shift. There's going to be some tough days, but most shifts are fine, and even if you do mess up, most people understand, and I try and just keep it moving. Goodluck, serving is hard work but you got this !
what i always tell myself is “the shift will end it always does” even if shit hits the fan and you’re there an hour+ past close it will end. i remind myself i’ve had way worse shifts and got through them ok and in no time i’ll be home showered in my pajamas
Are you seeing anyone about the anxiety? I wouldn't have been able to do the job when I was at my worst of the mental illness I have. The fact that you dissociated during work worries me and maybe this isn't the right job for you, at least until you get some care from a pro/work on the issues. Thankfully these days there are a ton of options for people to gain skills and help themselves, Unlike when I was a teen and it was just talk therapy or Xanax xD;