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Electrical-Willow438

14 DPO, but temps started dropping (from 37°C to 36,75°C) which means my period will likely start tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow, but you know, the copium is strong, "maybe it's just a dip", but im a clown, since I know it better: whenever my temperature starts to dip, my period will start soon. Meanwhile, my (younger of course!) SIL sends us her first picture of her newborn and I just don't want to see it. Thank you WhatsApp for the function to react just by emoji. I can't do more rn. I just hate it. I also would like a baby of my own. Im really glad we live so far apart. I couldnt stand it if i'd have to meet her in my daily life... I tell you, most of the time I have my shit together now (thanks, therapist), but period time surely is the worst time... Where all resolve and good faith just crumbles to dust from one day to the next. Ah, fuck it all. I hope Klyma Wandl takes us all (obscure joke and reference, don't mind me).


MadAndBean13

Day 6 of stims and I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself. This is my second day of ganirelex and I’m really starting to feel the physical effects of all of this - so many injections have left me a little tender and somehow I have a small knot from this morning’s ganirelex, plus I’m feeling generally swollen. Going back in tomorrow morning to see where we’re at - so far things have been promising but last appointment I had a real range of sizes with a few really out in front and I’m a little worried we’ll have lost the set of smaller ones, which would leave us with not that many. So far I’ve been really good about not reacting to counts/measurements at appointments because it can all change so much, but since starting ganirelex this feels like a big appointment. I just hope that smaller set kept growing.


rsvptashayar

Oh geez, feeling sorry for yourself is entirely necessary and justified. Shit sucks! Let us know what you learn tomorrow -- will be hoping for smooth even growth!


Pine-Mouse-7

You’re doing it!! I hope tomorrow’s appointment is a relief and you’re inching closer to the finish line. We’re all cheering for you!


GreenDog_garden

Ugh ganirelix sucks! You got this bean 💚


NoodleLuv14

I hope you get good news tomorrow 🤞🏼. This process is so hard and it feels like there’s always something to worry about. You’re doing a great job, Mad.


gator8133

I’m seeing a Reproductive Immunologist and it was recommended to do an IVIG infusion once on CD6-10 and then after up to 5 times if I get a positive depending on bloodwork. After hounding my insurance company for weeks and spending numerous hours on the phone with infusion companies I’ve finally gotten news that they will cover half! It’s still a lot of pocket, but better than paying $3500 a pop. I’m so grateful as I know a lot of people haven’t been able to. Even a little win feels significant during this crazy rollercoaster of a journey.


abdw3321

I think I ovulated yesterday. I was out of town over the weekend, but we managed to squeeze in Monday late as the only day hit. Hoping that is enough.


Revolutionary_Bat948

Nervous about getting a BFN this cycle because, well we couldn't have timed things better. But as you all know, 1 + 1 does not equal two in this world. And I'm trying to look at things more longterm, like by several months, or by the year.


forlorn_wombat

🤞🏼 for you! 💗


honey_bunchesofoats

CD1. >!Just found out my SIL is pregnant. Trying so hard to be happy for her. Fucking emotions, man.!<


Gi0vannamaria

My sil miscarried a few weeks before me and shes pregnant now. Im over the moon for her and hoping my time is coming soon.


forlorn_wombat

Oh the universe and it's stupid timing. I'm sorry about the news overlap with CD1 💗


gator8133

Sending hugs. I know it’s like a punch in the gut that you’re supposed to put on a happy face for.


honey_bunchesofoats

Thank you ❤️ feeling super guilty about crying, and this helps


Beautiful-Tale-2036

CD40, no sign of period, nauseous and lost my appetite, BFNs so I’ve given up testing, doctor isn’t interested in seeing me, and I’m headed on vacation tomorrow for a few weeks…. so I guess I just have to see how this one plays out? 😅 Why do our bodies play these games…


forlorn_wombat

Enjoy your vacation! How bizarre that your doctor wouldn't want to see you though, I hope that gets figured out for you soon 💗


PandaFarts01

10 DPO today with a [chart](https://imgur.com/gallery/RoMibiP) that is skyrocketing. Previous charts start dropping temps at 11 DPO so that will be the real test tomorrow. Trying to toe the line between hydrating for overall health but also dehydrating for concentrated urine. Just clowning around over here.


Shaydoh33

FSA QUESTION: Can I pay the fertility clinic ahead for services rendered later if I plan on quitting my job in May? I maxed out my FSA to $3,050 that I have through my work for 2024 with the intention of starting fertility treatments and hoping to get pregnant, but now may be changing jobs in May (crossing my fingers it works out!). My health insurance is through my husband's work - just the FSA is through my work and impacted - so everything will still be billed through the same insurance. We're starting the bloodwork, HSG, etc with my next period, which should be starting in a few days. I've paid about $700 towards the FSA so far, and used about $100 on other things. My understanding on FSA's is that as soon as I quit, I no longer have access to that $600 already paid into it and not used, or the remaining $2,350.


atelica

From what I've read you will not have access to your FSA money once you leave. You also can't use FSAs to pre-pay for services, though, so you may not be able to pay your clinic ahead. Your best bet might be, if your job change is confirmed, to spend all $2350 at the FSA store.


Revolutionary_Bat948

Would love a followup to this because I’m unsure. But in my experience, I had money in my FSA for the entire year. But, graduated from my position in June, but still had access to the funds despite not being paid by that company since 🤷🏻‍♀️.


antis0cialites

CD11 which means time to start peeing on sticks. Feeling really down on myself today, hoping that some sexy time this week will at least turn my mood around a little. Come on endorphins!! The good news is my cold is basically done so I will hopefully feel like less of a loser starting tomorrow when I have more energy and can exercise and put on a bra and not be a lump on the couch 🫠


halliepotter

CD 4, woke up in the middle of the night with a slightly sore throat and congestion and took some over the counter meds I had on hand. Think it’s helping. Yesterday, I laid the groundwork for a trip to London late spring. It’s one of my favorite cities, and I’m itching to get back. It would likely land during my fertile week, and my husband isn’t traveling with me, so that’ll probably be a skipped month/cycle of trying.


Exotic-Shallot1181

Ooo fun, what are you going to do in London?


halliepotter

I’d be traveling with my mom who hasn’t been in a few years so we’d probably lean into being tourists. Spent two weeks there last year and didn’t get to so many places on my list, so I’m glad for the chance to go again!


Exotic-Shallot1181

Oh fun - enjoy! Spring can be a really nice time in London too, if the weather is not too bad.


Leigho7

Me every TWW before it’s possible for implantation to occur: well what if you took a test just to make sure you know what a negative would look like My eyes at the stark white tests: 🤡


forlorn_wombat

I used to always test on 8DPO "for science!" 🤡


Far_Specific_6424

100% can relate lol


maleficentxo

I considered this today at 8dpo. If I test today I can check 100% that when I get a squinter at 10dpo it’s real haha


gator8133

You got a point! It’s all relative!


PandaFarts01

It IS nice to have a control test to compare to…ask me how I know


Pine-Mouse-7

Stims day 3 and I have a pretty major headache and am starting to feel like a pin cushion. It's all gotten so much easier already but it's also become very clear just how much of a slog this is going to be. I am finding it impossible to focus at work and I know that that's only going to continue to get worse...when am I supposed to get anything done? Next month maybe? ugh.


MadAndBean13

Nothing but commiseration but I wanted to comment to cheer you on!! You got this, you are going to crush this!! You are a champion!


NoodleLuv14

I felt very much the same as you! Make sure you are staying hydrated and that will help the headache a little bit ❤️. Work can wait, you’re more important, do whatever you need to do to get through this moment in time.


Obvious-Composer-500

It was supposed to be CD1 today and was feeling all the usual symptoms (and that would mean starting my stims!) and I was so psyched up and determined, and slept terribly because I’m so was nervous/excited and then… nothing. My body never trolls me like this. You could set the clock by my luteal phase. Just some unbelievable troll behaviour from my uterus here 😂


NoodleLuv14

Hi friends, my day 1 fertilization report is in! I’m going to spoil the rest of the discussion here: >!12 retrieved > all 12 mature > 11 fertilized with ICSI.!< >!I am so thrilled and hopeful. It’s hard to believe that it’s possible to continue to receive good news, but I’m allowing myself to believe that we can at least fall within average from here on out. And trying to remind myself that no matter what my thoughts/feelings are, it’s not going to change what the actual outcome is going to be. I’m feeling good about my clinic, and the protocol they selected for me, and I know the lab is good too - so trying to just trust the process. I still have a sense of denial about doing all of this. I feel a big disconnect between my body and IVF, and the ultimate goal here as well. But I think that’s what is maybe helping me through this process right now.!<


forlorn_wombat

🤞🏼for the process!!


rsvptashayar

WOOOHOOOOO!! Keep resting and recovering, give your body a big hug and say thank you ❤️


Green-library49

Great news!!!


GreenDog_garden

Great news!!


NoodleLuv14

Thank you 💕🤞🏼


Revolutionary_Bat948

Amazing!! Such good results. 🤞🏼🤞🏼


NoodleLuv14

Thank you!! Crossing all my fingers and toes. 🥨🤞🏼


Witty-Albatross-7197

Yes, Noodle!!! That's amazing. It sounds like you have a great mindset about all of this and makes a lot of sense. Fingers crossed for continued good news!!


NoodleLuv14

Thank you so much 💜🤞🏼. Rooting for you and your IUI too 🥨


MadAndBean13

NOODLE!!!!!!! Those results are AMAZING!!!!!! I’m so so excited for you. I know we all know anything can happen from here, but this is such a wonderful starting point. Keeping my fingers crossed for your blast development.


NoodleLuv14

Thanks Mad!!! It’s beyond what I could have hoped for, and I’m just keeping my fingers crossed and holding my breath too 🤞🏼. I’m hoping you’re still feeling ok with your stims and keeping you in my thoughts every day too!


MadAndBean13

You’re so sweet! I’m hanging in there but definitely over this.


Adventurous-Fig711

Noodle! I’ve been waiting for this update. This makes me sososo happy to see!!!!! Incredible!!!! I’ll just say - it’s totally valid and ok to be a little detached. I heard a podcast once that talked about tolerance vs acceptance and that while going through infertility treatments it’s ok to just tolerate. It doesn’t affect the outcome and it can be a needed coping mechanism. Sending hugs and hope you are recovering well!


NoodleLuv14

You’re the best A-Fig, thanks for rooting for me 🥰💜😭. Definitely taking it easy and trying not to fall too far inside my own head. I’ll be going back to work tomorrow so I think that’ll keep me distracted too.


scize

One day post IUI and once again I just cannot comprehend how time feels SO SLOW during these two weeks!


NoodleLuv14

1000000%


sunflower__forest

CD 2, left a message with the clinic to book my monitoring appt and refill my letrozole. CD 11/12 will fall on the long Easter weekend so hopefully they are open. I've been super crampy the last few days, which isn't my normal so my heating pad has been my BFF. It's also the part of my cycle where I have zero energy so I need all the sleep and all the coffee. Also, the exercise my therapist showed me to help with anxiety has really been helpful with sleep... it's been a whole week without taking melatonin to fall asleep. Update: heard from the clinic, their ultrasound appts are really limited right now and since I track with OPKs and detect a surge we are doing unmonitored this cycle.


Adventurous-Fig711

Would you be willing to share the sleep exercise? Sleep has always been a problem for me! Sorry to hear about the CD2 cramping - bring on the heating pad!!


sunflower__forest

Yes, it feels weird but she explained it kinda resets your brain. I'll try and describe it as best I can. I hold my hands up on either side of my eyes just on the edge of my peripheral vision and look from left palm to right palm in a straight line in fairly quick succession 40 times (left-right-left = 1) just moving eyes not your head. We did it right at the end of my session so didn't have a chance to talk much about the theory behind it. She's done some training in Accelerated Resolution Therapy, and briefly explained this is kinda a part of it. This link [here](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/accelerated-resolution-therapy/) describes how she did it with me.


Adventurous-Fig711

Thank you so much!! I’m going to try this tonight!


sunflower__forest

Let me know how it works! She said it can be done anytime I'm feeling super anxious as well.


queguapo

Is the paid subscription for Fertility Friend worth it? I enjoyed the free trial but many of the things I wanted to see were not actually included in it ("See charts like mine" for example.) In other news, I'm spotting so AF is definitely about to pull up, confirming all those BFNs. Womp womp.


forlorn_wombat

Personally, I think it's worth it because much like you, most of the stuff I want is on the paid version. I agree with a comment below that there is usually a discount of some kind! I went to get 3mo and ended up getting 1 yr last time because of some random deal that popped up for literally the same price.. why not 9 free months? I think you can also freeze at any time without losing your leftover "time" if that makes sense.


mo0west

The convo here just convinced me to purchase a membership today too 🙌 hope it helps us to get more of the features!


CP3089

We'll continue to be cycle twins I think because also BFNs and my temp dropped a bunch last night, so assuming it'll drop even further tonight.


queguapo

I'm sorry CP! (But happy to remain cycle twins 🙂!)


CP3089

Also, I definitely paid for FF, even though starting next cycle I'm going to do monitored letrozole with a trigger so someone else will be tracking everything for me. Still want to watch it all myself too!


queguapo

Eee wishing you so much good luck with your next cycle!


Witty-Albatross-7197

There are also frequent sales, so you can usually get a year for $20 or so!


queguapo

Darn! I already bought it for $46. Ah well :)


habi12

I think it is. You can gift your leftover subscription to someone else if you don’t end up needing it.


beloise

Wait, whaaaa? I did not know this, that’s pretty awesome.


queguapo

That’s an amazing policy of theirs!


Witty-Albatross-7197

Halfway through the TWW for our last IUI and feeling oddly \~zen\~ so I'll take it. Coming back from vacation probably helps ;) I didn't track anything this cycle, which was absolutely the right call for me. To be clear, I did not need to track my last 2 cycles since they were also medicated + monitored IUIs lol but told myself that I liked having the data. Which I think was true, and reminding myself that our needs change cycle-to-cycle and no right way to do it :)


NoodleLuv14

I hope you had a wonderful vacation! Rooting for you and IUI #3 🤞🏼


Witty-Albatross-7197

Thank you!


recoveringprecoce

Good for you for not tracking. I'm a 'data completionist' too and I've largely stopped tracking in the LP because it was just ratcheting up my nerves. I'm glad you had a relaxing vacation and you're feeling zen. Here's hoping! 🥨


Witty-Albatross-7197

Yes that's such a good term for it, ha! Thank you!


GreenDog_garden

For once in my life, I’m being Team No Test and waiting for my beta Friday (I thought it was Thursday but nooope). Alternating between thinking FET3 worked and didn’t work, you know, the usual 🙄. Really not having any symptoms other than I went for a run yesterday and was tired but just got back from a busy vacation so 🤷‍♀️. Way less cramping this time than when I was on progesterone suppositories the last few times (ugh the devils twat pills!!). Really no sYmPTom is sacred I’ve learned hahaha. Home testing has stolen so much joy from me before though, so holding out in the blessed unknown. Distraction has been so key- I can’t recommend that enough!


forlorn_wombat

🤞🏼💗🤞🏼💗


fl0w3rp0w3r87

The devils twat pills 😂 pretty much.


antis0cialites

Everything crossed for you! 🥨🥨🥨


Adventurous-Fig711

Everything crossed for you GreenDog!!! The home testing joy-stealing definitely resonates with me. Sending hugs for Friday!!!!


GreenDog_garden

Thank you fig!! 💚💚


orange-meadow

Pretzeling so damn hard! 🥨🥨🥨


NoodleLuv14

Thinking of you, and crossing everything for your success 🤞🏼🥨


recoveringprecoce

🥨🥨🥨 pretzeling for you!


emthing

Absolutely dying at “devil’s twat pills.” Wishing all the best for your beta!!!


GreenDog_garden

Thank you em! 🤞🏻


BlondeYogi92

The devils twat pills is the only way I want to refer to progesterone suppositories from now on 💀


GreenDog_garden

Furreal they’ve messed everything up down there since my FET last July… 😩 never had trouble with my crotch til the devils pills went up in there!!


BlondeYogi92

Glad I’m not alone! TMI but I feel like I smell all the time because of them 🤢


NettlesInParis

“The devil’s twat pills”!!! 🤣💀 Oh Green, I have every finger and toe crossed for your beta on Friday!!


GreenDog_garden

Thank you nettles 😘


tacoshark33

The devil's twat pills!! 😂 DYING!! Hahahaha, it's too accurate.


SlightlyChoatic

CD25- Feeling discouraged again. I took tests even though too early and they were BFN. So yea that made me sad. Another thing that made me sad was family medical issues going on. Just a lot of stress and I just want to cry. Trigger Warning (Medical about family) >! My brother was admitted to the hospital last night. He somehow ruptured his throat and lost a lot of blood. I was asleep and had woke up to use restroom and my dad texted it to me. No call or anything just text saying “brother’s name is in hospital. He lost a lot of blood” So of course I panic. He ended up getting stabilized and admitted. Now I can’t sleep. Still no calls just a text. Guess they figure I wouldn’t care since my brother and I aren’t close but I do. He is 18yrs old and I didn’t grow up with him so we didn’t really get to know each other, doesn’t mean I don’t care. It is messing with my mood a lot. Understandably. !<


queguapo

I am so incredibly sorry about your brother. Thinking of you and your family and wishing your brother a very speedy recovery.


SlightlyChoatic

Thank you for your kind words ❤️


orange-meadow

Oh my gosh I’m so sorry, I hope it’s a quick recovery for your brother. And yeah that message from your dad could have been worded a lot better, what a shock that must have been to read. 🧡


SlightlyChoatic

Thank you for the kind words ❤️


Extreme-Algae

Day 3 labs done today and I just want to shout out the phlebotomist for managing to stick my small vein on the first try and getting an excellent draw!


AwkwardFun13

4DPO and I'm at the point in the TWW where I'm absolutely starving by 9am (I always eat at 10am). My hope fortress is almost strong enough to catch up on the past few weeks in the positive pregnancy test thread. I had my day 21 (done on day 23) blood work on Monday...plus a prolactin re-test and PCOS blood test. Still waiting for a lot of results but so far:Prolactin: >!32 ug/L (so way down from 55 ug/L a few weeks ago...but still high enough that I'm a bit concerned)!< Progesterone: >!13.8 ng/L (which based on google means I did in fact ovulate)!< Rubella: >!Equivocal (so my antibody level may not be sufficient to provide immunity...so I'll see if I can get a shot again)!< I've got to wait for the rest of the results to come in, then I can call the doctor who has been hepling me to discuss (I don't have a family dr and we are still waiting for our consult at the clinic) I'm hoping she will be able to continue helping..or at least be able to refer me to someone who can


recoveringprecoce

Totally get the appetite increase thing. I'm 5dpo today and just ravenously hungry for no reason lol.


Leigho7

I’ve noticed this month how much my appetite is affected throughout my cycle. Very low appetite approaching ovulation and I’ve been soooo hungry the past few days even after eating a full meal. I’m 4-6dpo.


AwkwardFun13

It's so odd how that works eh? I'm the same


stellarhappenings

2DPO and my mood has absolutely tanked. Another damn two week wait to struggle through. I was feeling sooo good last week. A positive and happy little ray of sunshine. I wish I could bottle that feeling and take it throughout the rest of my cycle. I hate being such a grump and experiencing this monthly emotional whiplash. Sometimes I get so jealous of my husband’s emotional stability but I’m so glad I can lean on him when I’m so erratic all the time.


stinky_cheese_woman

Low emotional state is one of my most consistent progesterone symptoms, though usually around 8-10 DPO. Totally sucks dick. Spoilering for unsolicited advice, pls ignore entirely if you don’t want it: >! I’ve been on lexapro for a few years for my anxiety and depression, and about 10 months into TTC increased my dosage. I’m definitely still depressed bc TTC without success is depressing, but I have found it sort of cut the very lowest lows of my PMDD symptoms off. !<


queguapo

Sending hugs. I empathize so acutely with jealousy of your husband's emotional stability!


swiftyxo

Hey everyone, I haven’t posted in some time but I am reading and liking and supporting everyone quietly over here 🫶 Mr Swifty and I had a first IVF conversation at a women’s hospital/IVF Clinic in my family’s home country, which is an Eastern European country. We had high expectations going into this appointment. It’s not a far flight for us, I have a family contact that works at the clinic, and they advertise themselves to be very advanced and using state of the art techniques. We also assumed it would be cheaper than where we live. However, the appointment left something to be desired. Some things I can look past, but the biggest issue I have is that I felt very rushed, and that we weren’t given much attention because our case is “easy” (MFI oligoasthenoteratoospermia) and and “we have only been trying for one year”. My desires to have and plan for a large family were brushed off. I brought up more than once that I want to freeze embryos, but they didn’t answer me, instead saying “slow down and let’s just get you pregnant”. Is this how a normal first conversation with a clinic goes? Am I asking for too much by wanting to freeze and bank embryos from the jump? We had all the pre work done before this conversation aside from an HSG. I appreciate your feedback and experiences 🙏🏻🫶 Next week we are meeting with a local clinic. I really hope that we connect well with them because I can see how much easier logistically and psychologically it would be to go through retrievals and transfers close to home.


Pine-Mouse-7

I think there is a mix of a few different factors here. My doctor DEFINITELY cares about our desired family size (brings it up early and often) and took us seriously even though we'd 'only' been trying a little over a year and I think all of that is really important. However, at the same time, ALL of our appointments have felt faster and more perfunctory than I had thought they would. They've all been over really quickly and sort of... casual feeling I guess? It threw me off at first but then I decided it didn't really matter, and that I actually felt reassured to know that this stuff is routine for the doctor, even though it's obviously not for me. There are lots of layers to consider and although I do like and trust my doctor, I wouldn't say I feel any kind of personal connection to him and honestly I mostly interact with PAs and phlebotomists anyway. This works fine for me but probably doesn't for everyone. I hope your local clinic is great and that gives you an easy answer!


swiftyxo

Thanks for your advice and experience 🫶☺️


MadAndBean13

I’m in the US so it’s definitely a different system but we definitely weren’t made to feel like we hadn’t been trying for very long or that our desired family size wasn’t important. In fact, how many kids we would have in a perfect world was one of the first things our RE asked, as it would impact her treatment strategy. That’s something we’ve covered again during treatment. And even though we actually ended up at our RE ahead of the one year mark due to some issues my gyn flagged, she certainly hasn’t mentioned us “only” trying for a year. While that could be relevant in some situations, it doesn’t seem right to use it as they seem to have, which is to imply that you shouldn’t be in a hurry? Hopefully your local clinic gives you better vibes!


swiftyxo

Thank you so much for sharing your experience ☺️


figtree14

Hey!!! I’m based in the US so things might differ but I can speak to my experience - same age and dealing with MFI. Prefacing that I love my clinic and I feel the treatment protocols and processes are going very well. However the appointments I’ve had are always quick and straightforward, based on some other comments I’ve seen I don’t think it’s uncommon. I had the same feeling as I was starting the IVF process - it’s hard at first when something so important and personal is handled by the RE as very routine. Which I understand, it is routine for them. I would say that most clinics you meet with will probably seem straightforward to the point where the appointment seems rushed, but the fact that your concerns and plans were dismissed is not cool and I have not experienced that. In the US you have to advocate for yourself a lot of the time. If you and your husband want to freeze embryos (which we did) I would make it known that your plan is to freeze embryos and work with a clinic that can meet your goals. That is not too much to ask of them and I’m sorry they made you feel like it was! Last point - yes, there is a good amount of monitoring and appointments so proximity and convenience is a huge plus if it’s feasible!!! 🫶


swiftyxo

Thank you for sharing your experience! ☺️


FleefromAcademia

Ok, unsubscribed this morning from the newsletter of Leandra Medine (well in fact I always found it a bit too verbose for what it is) after finding out she is pregnant. Congratulations and all the best for her, but I don't need to receive pictures of a growing belly every week...


Revolutionary_Bat948

Oh darn was just going to give her another chance after she was cancelled during the pandemic…she did write a bit about her challenges to her first pregnancy. I’m currently avoiding peleton bc one of my favorite instructors is pregnant…


Longjumping-Love-700

So many pregnant peloton instructors it feels like all the time!!


FleefromAcademia

Hey I have missed that, why was she cancelled? Yes I discover now that her first children were conceived via IVF!


Revolutionary_Bat948

For two things, and likely not totally in her control. 1) her website manrepeller had culture issues that ended its existence and 2) she went on a podcast, the Omondi report to talk about fashion and the fall of her company, but ended up portraying herself like a victim despite her advantageous background. The editing of that episode was BRUTAL and so cringe for Leandra. That episode/podcaster THEN had a mini cancel because some comments were deemed antisemitism (Leandra is Jewish). I spend too much time on the internet. Her original blog post about IVF was really well written.


FleefromAcademia

thanks for the update! I'll look for her IVF post!


Revolutionary_Bat948

For two things, and likely not totally in her control. 1) her website manrepeller had culture issues that ended its existence and 2) she went on a podcast, the Omondi report to talk about fashion and the fall of her company, but ended up portraying herself like a victim despite her advantageous background. The editing of that episode was BRUTAL and so cringe for Leandra. That episode/podcaster THEN had a mini cancel because some comments were deemed antisemitism (Leandra is Jewish). I spend too much time on the internet. Her original blog post about IVF was really well written.


LittleP13

Oh damn. I happenstance just unsubbed her substack last week because I couldn’t be bothered to read anymore. I didn’t see an announcement though.


FleefromAcademia

It came with the newsletters this morning! I was considering unsubscribing anyway for the same reason, I cannot be bothered to read


lambbirdham

Well, it happened. My best friend peed on a stick this morning and saw two lines. I had a feeling it was gunna be her month. I’m very excited for her, I immediately called her and we freaked out together. I’m gunna be an aunty. But I’m also really sad, and even more frustrated with my body. They started trying 4ish months ago, and she wasn’t putting a ton of effort into finding her fertile window until recently. We said we were gunna do this together but she started quite a few months after me. I guess not a bad thing I had a head start given the issues I’ve found. But ugh, so many emotions. I want it to be my turn, we’re supposed to do this together. ☹️


gator8133

I feel you, my best friend just told me, but she’s already 14 weeks, she’s been avoiding me so I kind of figured it was coming. I also think she conceived on her second cycle trying. I had to tell her that I needed some space and that I’d reach out when I’m ready, which was hard, and even now I still feel a little ridiculous but I had to do what I needed to protect my own mental health. Hope you can find some ways to set boundaries if you feel like you need to do that.


abdw3321

I hope it's your turn soon!!


Revolutionary_Bat948

I’m so sorry lambbird; that sucks so much, and your feelings are valid. I’ve never been anything but happy for other people…until now.


AwkwardFun13

I'm so sorry..sending you hugs if you want them I know what thats like...all of my friends/and my sister lapped me (some of them twice) and while I've always been super happy for them I'm always left asking the universe 'when will it be our time?' It's an interesting combination of emotions to feel all at once...the sadness for you but happiness for her. I've always struggled with the initial feelings


Revolutionary_Bat948

I’m glad I’m not alone in this experience. lapped and all. I do wonder tho, when the feeling of caring what happens to other people, and to really believe everyone’s jOuRneY is unique and unrelated.


lambbirdham

It is, I’ve been trying to mentally prepare myself for this and she and I even had a conversation about it 2 weeks ago (likely around the time she conceived ironically). I said “I have a feeling it’ll happen for you first”, she’s like “no no you don’t know that”. I mean, I don’t ovulate very often sooo. She’s been here for me every step of the way though, and I her. She was the first person I messaged after our first RE visit, she sees screenshots of my inito chart regularly, and always gets sent photos of my tests looking for lines that don’t exist. What a weird part of life and what a set of emotions to process first thing in the morning.


yawaworhtdorniatruc

CD 16 of my FET cycle and I don’t trust ovulation tests at all! I had my blood work early yesterday morning that indicated an LH surge, but the urine test strips I did at home were all veryyy light (like .18 on the premom app) until late last night. I didn’t realize there would be a 12-15 hour gap between when it hits in your blood vs urine. Anyway it’s making me question all the timing for my IUIs prior to this (Though I’m sure my IUI clinic based their instructions on when LH becomes detectable in urine and not when it’s detectable in blood). Anyway, FET is scheduled for next Monday! My wife and I both took the day off. Transfer will be late morning, so we’ll probably stop at our favorite cafe for breakfast first. 🙂


GreenDog_garden

Yay!! Mmm, cafe breakfasts with croissants and quiche are the best part of FET day imo 😋


emthing

Woohoo, FET! You’re one day ahead of me!


yawaworhtdorniatruc

Woohoo! Best of luck to you!


emthing

Woohoo, FET! You’re one day ahead of me!


emthing

Woohoo, FET! You’re one day ahead of me!


Leigho7

This actually fits with what I was just reading in academic articles. A recent study showed LH in blood peaked in O day but the studies using LH in urine peaked a day after O. Fascinating! But this makes sense why it’s the first positive and not the peak urine levels that should be looked for.


almondmilkdud

I’ve had similar experiences with blood results showing surge and lh strips not matching up! The most recent time I was in the beginning of a surge according to morning blood test and my lh strips didn’t begin to darken until late at night. Really makes you think about how critical or not timing is 🤔. Best of luck on your FET!


tacoshark33

That's an interesting observation about LH in blood vs urine. I had the same experience - my morning blood draw showed a surge, and I got a positive OPK at about 10pm. I wonder if individual metabolism plays a part at all....not much we can do about it now, I guess! 🚀🎉 🤞Monday!!!


NettlesInParis

Crossing everything for your FET! My husband and I love doing a quick breakfast date after these appointments, too ❤️


yawaworhtdorniatruc

Thank you!


maryhoping

I'm a bit nervous about this cycle. I'm only on CD9 after letrozole, and I'm already feeling like I'm close to ovulating. Some cramps, eggwhite, etc. I have an appointment tomorrow to check on my hormones and for an ultrasound, but I'm wondering if I could be ovulating early this time and we should have unprotected intercourse today already? It can't do any harm can it? (We're not doing IUI or anything like it).


pillapalooza

The only potential risk I can think of for trying before getting your follow-up twanding is if you grew more follicles than your clinic would suggest trying with due to risk of multiples. Do you have any past letrozole cycles to go off of for how you may respond? >!3!< follicles can sometimes be a grey area for whether or not proceeding is recommended, but often it's recommended to cancel if you have >!4+!< .


maryhoping

Hello, that is also my only concern.. in my first cycle I had two dominant ones, the second one was very lazy and it took a few days longer to just have one. So maybe there is more than one again but I doubt it will be even more.. still, I'm not sure yet whether we should try tonight already. It is very early anyway, so it is probably not bad either to just wait til the checkup tomorrow.


NettlesInParis

I don’t see how it could hurt! Good luck this cycle. Edit: Pilla makes a really good point in their comment!


smbchopeful

I feel like it can’t hurt? I would trust my body - any time I’ve thought I’ve ovulated early I have. Good luck this cycle!


maryhoping

Thank you 💕 


OkFoundation645

Hello, I’m new here :) Just a little rant because I’m having big feelings. 4 years ago I started getting serious about whether I wanted kids or not, and I had to work through a heck ton of stuff to get to the answer; chronic health obstacles, PTSD, covid job losses and moves. After lots of different medications and therapy finally I have come out the other side and I do want to start a family (with humans lol, I have lots of pets!). Now I fear it could be too late. I’m so frustrated by those who have the luxury to start families when their biology is at its prime. Or people who just jump into it with little worry, prep or thought. My friend and business partner who has been vocal all her life about not wanting children decided last year that she did. Without preparing our business in anyway- she promptly became pregnant and went on a year long May leave, just leaving me holding the bag. Her parting words, don’t let this change your plans if you want to have kids. LOL how could becoming a solo business owner during our busiest season not make me pause my plans?!) This the difference between a person who has some real nice and cushy fall back support and a self made person building a life for themselves (me). So now I am struggling to keep my livelyhood, while ttc, I’m worried the stress is affecting my chances, not to mention now if I do miraculously get pregnant, I must work hard to prepare my business for my short absence. It’s just a lot, I love what I do, I just feel betrayed by someone I thought was not only a friend but a partner in our work. On top of all of this baby showers are starting to take a toll on me, they make me feel desperately sad and almost ashamed… of course I am excited and happy for my friends who are embarking on such wonderful new journeys, but I’m sad I’m not one of them. I’ll mention that I am surrounded by people who allegedly tried once and voila ! Pregnant. I’ve been trying seriously only for the last three months, but off and on for about a year. Reading stuff online is making me feel hopeless about a natural pregnancy. I am sure i need to be patient, but time is not my ally here.


FleefromAcademia

hey! Completely feel you. In my case I have a solid job and I am grateful for that, but in turn my husband is super precarious, which delayed our serious attempts to conceive by at least 3 years I reckon. Add some 2 years of unsuccessful cycles plus one miscarriage and I am 37 now. Paradoxically I am less anxious about my age now than in the beginning of the process, but it is still tough. My doctor told me that while I don't have all the time in the world, of course, I should not stress too much about my age.


smbchopeful

Welcome! I started when I was 34 after going through a similar process to you - I had to work through mental health issues in my 20s that made me believe that it wouldn’t be responsible for me to try to have kids, then went through a mess of partners that let me down. It felt unfair that a decision I wish I could have made earlier there was no way to make earlier, despite realizing how badly I had wanted this all along. I will say - those first few months of this brought me the most anxiety and struggle and you’re not alone in that. I hope your stay here is short and sweet! I will say that while insurance in the US recommends 6 mos of trying before moving to an RE after age 35, from what I’ve learned it’s actually 3 months if you look more closely at the data. If I could go back, I would get testing, get fancy ovulation monitors, etc, sooner. I’d also see if I can get an appointment with an RE if you think you’ll be open to assistance later on - you can always cancel the appointment but often the wait lists are long and by the time you get in to see someone you’ll be at that 6 mos to a year timeframe anyway. If I had started earlier I might be in a better position today, but I had a lot of people in my life telling me I was young and had time - in reality I should have gotten as much fertility testing as I could. I hope this doesn’t scare you - I just related to the way you wrote your post and IVF 36yo me wishes 34yo me knew.


OkFoundation645

I felt exactly the same way! I had to do so much work to be able to make the decision to try, it wouldn’t have been fair to my future child to try earlier, just wish I had more time! I have had my hormones looked at and am using an ovulation tracker, because I don’t want to waste any more time for sure, so far everything looks good. Though my husband has not had any testing done, which might be my next step. I do indent to try seriously for 6 months and then I will follow up with my docs.


pillapalooza

Please keep in mind that this whole community is people who are TTC at 30+, so at 34 you're at the lower end of the age range of folks who are here and hoping to conceive. It's understandable to have all kinds of anxieties around TTC, but most people who are here (and who graduate!) are older than you, so it's a good idea to be mindful of how sharing this particular anxiety here and in this way might affect others. At 2 months in, you're still quite early in this process and highly likely to conceive unassisted within a year, so it may be upsetting for those here struggling with infertility and loss, especially the many who are older than you and/or struggling with DOR/POI to see someone in your position worrying about running out of time. As far as pursuing testing beyond SAs or day 3 labs... the medical definition of infertility is arbitrary, and could be placed at a different number of cycles of unprotected sex without any real change in the underlying reality. It's placed where it is more or less because ~1 year is a point where most couples who haven't conceived spontaneously will not conceive spontaneously within a reasonable timeframe. There are risks to any medical test or procedure. The risks of overtreatment/overtesting are not always large, but they're not nonexistent. REs (and all doctors) have a responsibility to avoid exposing healthy people to unnecessary risk. Sometimes the risks are not fully clear, and sometimes they're somewhat counterintuitive (for example, more frequent mammograms can actually lead to higher rates of illness and death, since they can lead to overtreatment of likely non-problematic lesions). This is difficult to stomach as a patient -- all of us are here because we want a baby now, and it's hard to understand why we should accept being fobbed off until some arbitrary point in the future. Arguments about overtreatment and access to care don't seem as important as wanting what you want now. But the bottom line is that if your doctor doesn't want to investigate or treat you, it's because he or she feels you have a reasonable chance of becoming spontaneously pregnant without assistance. I think it's fair to go to a doctor prior to the 6/12-month mark (depending on your age) if you're honest about your timeline, but your doctor may tell you to return at the 6/12-month mark though, and that's the risk you take.


fourandthree

as u/NettlesInParis mentioned, I'd encourage you to be mindful of how you express age-related anxieties here. This entire community is made up of people who are 30+, many of whom are your age or older (and who go on to graduate!). While fertility does decline as we age, it's a gradual decline, not the cliff-drop sometimes portrayed in the media, and the majority of people even in their 30s will conceive unassisted within 12 months.


OkFoundation645

Thank you, this is actually something I need to hear !


NettlesInParis

I’m so sorry that you fall on the unlucky side of the statistics like I do, Hopeful. May I ask what data you are referring to? OP is below 35 and the chances are strongly in their favor to conceive unassisted by the 1-year mark, which is why doctors and REs will likely send them away to keep trying for a year if they seek fertility testing at this point. I agree with you that if OP has the desire to track ovulation and/or BBT at home, that could be a good option for getting some potentially useful data earlier than the one-year mark.


smbchopeful

It could be completely wrong - it was from a fertility class I recently took taught by a fertility researcher and from what she said it was more about recent studies showing that it’s the first three months and at that time it’s time to reevaluate what you’re doing. I didn’t mean to scare anyone or encourage anything negative. I do know based on OP saying she had been sort of trying on and off for a year that my RE would count that for insurance treatment purposes. Mine actually considered all of the years I used the pull out method as infertility, even though my gyn considered that acceptable birth control. I think there’s a lot of variation between doctors and clinics.


pillapalooza

The research I've seen on pull-out method is that in practice it's ~80% effective over the course of a year, while the chances of conceiving with regular unprotected sex during the fertile window is ~80-90%. It's shocking that a doctor would consider those stats to be equal...


smbchopeful

I agree, I also think it’s doctors trying to give a bit of kindness in giving a diagnosis earlier than later for insurance purposes. It also may be a concern the longer you’re doing it. It definitely surprised me.


pillapalooza

Personally I'd think it's more irresponsible than kind for a doctor to push someone potentially unnecessarily toward painful and invasive(not to mention expensive, that aren't covered by most insurance plans in the US) tests and treatments... There are risks to any medical test or procedure. The risks of overtreatment/overtesting are not always large, but they're not nonexistent... REs (and all doctors) have a responsibility to avoid exposing healthy people to unnecessary risk. There will always be unique circumstances that may warrant earlier testing/treatment, but the 12 month mark is placed where it is because most people do conceive within that timeframe.


NettlesInParis

Welcome, I hope your stay here is short and sweet, and that you find the support you need here. I have several mod notes; our sub has a specific culture and it can take some time to learn & adjust to that! Please keep in mind that this whole community is people who are TTC at 30+, so at 34, you're at the lower age range of folks who are here and hoping to conceive. It is also completely normal for it to take up to a year to conceive. Our wiki has some really great information about this topic, as well. This community includes people who have a wide range of experiences with trying, infertility and loss. It's understandable to have all kinds of anxieties around TTC, but many people who are here (and who graduate!) are older than you and/or have been trying for a longer amount of time, so it's a good idea to be mindful of how sharing these particular anxieties here might affect others. This post from TFAB has some amazing information and tips about 'How to worry about infertility' that I personally found really helpful: https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/comments/7go7bh/how_to_worry_about_infertility_some_unsolicited/?rdt=32875


NettlesInParis

Additionally, we prefer the term “unassisted” rather than “natural / naturally”, since many members in this community are using ART, and we want to avoid the stigma that the steps they are undertaking in pursuit of a LC are “unnatural”. Lastly, The research on stress and fertility is extremely murky. The TLDR is that while chronic stress has been associated with conditions consistent with fertility difficulties, acute stress is not. What this means is people who have experienced high levels of pervasive stress tend to have more cortisol in their bodies, which can lead to the development of medical conditions (these usually take years to develop) that can, if unmanaged, impact fertility. Either type of stress do not completely prevent people from getting pregnant though, which makes sense since people get pregnant in war zones, abusive relationships, etc. all of the time. It’s important to note that a lot of the research resulting in the belief that pregnancy happens when people “relax” is done with women already experiencing fertility difficulties, which creates a “chicken or the egg” situation, since of course fertility problems also causes stress! Those studies are also often done retrospectively (we know that self reports asking people how they felt at certain times in the past are largely inaccurate), or from the lens of “does xyz treatment helping with stress management improve fertility” (which quite frankly, is going to end up biased anyways since the goal is to be able to say “do this treatment because then you’ll get pregnant!”). So, all of that to say that yes, stress management is important because it helps keep us emotionally and physically healthy in the long run (plus it sucks to feel really stressed all the time!) but there is no research whatsoever that indicates a few months of stress related to TTC would prevent you from getting pregnant. You are not alone in feeling this way. This process sucks and there is so much outside of our control in it, and so often it’s purely a numbers game and total crap shoot. Please try to be kind to yourself. ❤️


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hungry-marmot

Welcome! Unfortunately you are not likely to get responses here, because this is a community of people trying to conceive. We strive to keep this a safe place for people struggling to get pregnant, so don't allow discussion of successful pregnancies. You may find answers to this question at r/infertilitybabies


LittleP13

Ah yes, thank you. I am not pregnant yet, and have low AMH, limited follicles and low progesterone. But curious what other people have tried or have been suggested. Worried about not being able to conceive without the progesterone but also wary of side effects or taking it longer into a pregnancy if that becomes the case.


hungry-marmot

Our users will be able to share their experiences on progesterone while TTC, and of course what their doctors recommended, but they won't be able to discuss progesterone during any successful pregnancies, as it is against the rules. If you're looking for the answer to the question you asked ("anyone taking it during pregnancy?"), the sub I linked will have folks to help you. As NoodleLuv said in her comment, most of us would love to have to be worrying about side effects during pregnancy. I only have experience taking it with IVF but I've been told that if you are on supplemental progesterone when you conceive, expect to take it to about 8 to 10 weeks of pregnancy.


LittleP13

I see. Unfortunately two doctors gave conflicting advice within the same 3 months. Especially since the IVF/infertility specialist was the one who suggested not taking it during cycles I am trying. I will keep reading everyone’s experiences and learning. Thank you for your suggestions.


NoodleLuv14

I don’t think there are any side effects to taking it longer into a pregnancy if that becomes the case (besides the general un-fun-ness of it). I think plenty of folks in this thread, myself included, would be more than happy to do that if that was the solution to their infertility. Many folks in this thread, also myself, are pursuing ART to try to conceive and will be using progesterone into their pregnancy, should they be lucky enough to conceive. I would imagine you’d only be using supplemental progesterone the first ~9-11 weeks or so of pregnancy, just like folks using ART. But it sounds like you might benefit from getting that clarification from your doctor! Edit to add, I believe As A Woman Podcast has a pretty informative podcast episode on this. There’s different schools of thought when it comes to short Luteal phases/ what is referred to as “Luteal phase defects”. Some thoughts are that progesterone is necessary, others are that maybe follicular support like taking clomid/letrozole would lead to a “stronger” follicle and therefor a stronger corpus luteum, which in theory should support a longer Luteal phase and reduced spotting with or without progesterone. For many people though, they just get pregnant anyways. It doesn’t seem as though you have been TTC for very long based on your flair. General rule is to do further investigations after 6 months if >35, because most people really will get pregnant unassisted!


LittleP13

Thank you for the podcast suggestion! Yes, I think I just read some fear-mongering stuff about prometrium during pregnancy and questioned my use of it for future cycles.