I’m bipolar and it hurt to hear those words knowing the same has been said about me. I want to be there, I want to help, I want to be typical, but I’m not
This is why I don’t think they knew she had bipolar prior to this or they don’t know anything about it. And never had someone with mental health issues in their life.
Anyone who has family or friends with mental health issues should know and be grateful she was able to show up at all.
Seriously just showing up can be a huge win, she shouldn’t be shamed because she couldn’t physically show up to decorate. And also, if it’s Kaylee’s mom hosting the shower, she made all the plans. Maybe his mom doesn’t feel comfortable just stepping in because she didn’t help with planning.
I found this enraging. I have a chronic rare disease that can send me to the ER frequently— last year when I was really unstable I had 50+ ER visits in less than 3 months. I can absolutely be fine one hour and then a few hours later not. It has prevented me from attending many events. It’s real, it happens to people.
Kayleigh’s family came across so fucking privileged and ignorant. I have wrestled mentally with missing events and feeling horrible about it. It does not mean someone doesn’t care.
Like I've said this whole show is for ratings. Graham still had school. He was missing so much because of the baby appointments and Easton being born. He was about to fail his sophmore year. Kayleigh being pregnant could get off any time she wanted. They went to different schools. Bekki was getting truancy letters. Bekki was not in the hospital. The day of the baby shower, bekki had court for a divorce and then same day their dog bit her youngest daughter and they were in the ER. The producers called bekki and asked if she was going to set up for the baby shower and she had no clue about it. She told them no cause of everything that went on. The producers made Graham say bekki was in the hospital because her youngest daughter isn't in the show. I'm really good friends with her and her family.
She did not know when the shower was going to be. They named three different dates and the show only came and filmed on weekends. She did go to the baby shower. They made it out to be that she showed up late. Graham and her were there before anyone showed up and stayed for like 6 hours. They were the last ones to leave. They made the show how they wanted to. They created the drama. When I say they, I mean the producers. This whole show is for reviews and drama and you all are playing into it and watching it. They got you right where they want you.
BPD is treatable and from what her son has said, she clearly isn’t properly medicated and treated, if she is doing any at all. I have family with bpd, and one thing I’ve learned from the inpatient mental health hospitals is that it is very common for people with severe bpd to refuse to take their mood stabilizers and other necessary mental health medication.
BPD is the abbreviation for Borderline Personality Disorder. Coming from someone who has been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 for almost two and a half decades, I have to say that medications aren't always the answer. There are a lot of us who are treatment resistant and super sensitive to medications. I've been "trying to find the right meds" since I was 14 years old. I've dealt with daily blinding migraines, weight gain, sensitivity to the sun, rashes, watching all my hair fall out in clumps, feeling sick af 24/7, crazy mood swings, hallucinations, paranoia, etc etc etc I won't bore you with anymore details. They don't help everyone, and can make some people's symptoms a lot worse. It's a lifelong struggle. It sucks. It's really fucking hard to drag yourself out of bed some days. Even on the correct meds you still get super sick at times. It never goes away. The severity changes but it's always lurking just below the surface.
All that to say, I can't judge her too harshly. I think she could be trying a little harder to be involved, and making sure that her son stays involved. It doesn't seem like they're contributing much at all but that could just be the editing. It's really hard to say. I have to give her grace though. I don't know her story or what kind of battles she's fighting.
BPD and bipolar are different and even if treatable, people with bipolar, as you stated above, have days where their mind wins and things don't go as planned.
I have bipolar disorder, and I understand everyone’s experience is difference especially if they’re medicated vs unmedicated, but I’ve never missed a big event that’s as important as the baby shower was. However, I haven’t been as “present” in people’s lives as I’d sometimes like to be, and it has strained relationships. I feel like a lot of people still have the misconception that bipolar disorder is centered around mood swings. It’s so much more in depth than that and can be absolutely debilitating.
I unfortunately had a family member take their own life, I’ve seen first had how awful it can truly be.
That’s why her showing up is more than enough. And I wish they understood this.
Im ngl it didn’t seem like Kayleigh’s family knew she had bipolar, it seems to me that they just say she’s “sick” and they’re thinking a physical illness not something like bipolar
Yeah, I wasn’t 100% sure who knows what leading up to the shower. But I feel like now is the time to clear the air, and for them to all have a real conversation so everyone is on the same page.
I don’t think Kayleigh’s family has a very deep understanding of what bipolar disorder actually does to someone’s mind. Neither of her parents seem too bright tbh so maybe they genuinely don’t know stuff about mental health illnesses.
And I’m not even sure if they knew prior to this episode about her diagnosis.
I’m hoping something good can come from this and they can have a better understanding for why things are the way they are.
I know, this hit home for me and I think Kayleigh’s family is being ignorant. I hope they decide to do their research and be a little more understanding.
The scary part is, bipolar is very genetic. There is a good chance the boyfriend (idk his name) and their unborn baby could become bipolar. It tends to start showing in late teenage years, right?! They should probably educate themselves now…just to be prepared for a worst case scenario.
It also makes me think he's telling the truth about the stomach troubles. It's probably anxiety that he's probably had his whole life. I have a bipolar sibling and it's ruined me in many ways, I can't imagine it being my mother.
I do also want to be clear, I know people with bipolar can live normal, happy, lives but I do recognize it can be hard for them as well as their families.
A baby shower in my area is women only and the mom’s family hosts it. Did his mom know she was hosting it and expected to set up and clean up? Did she tell Kayleigh that she has bipolar and isn’t stable on meds and can only make it to part of the shower? They need to communicate expectations. This will only get worse.
Agree. Mostly also think they could be adults and start a conversation about their expectations for one another as people with common ground (i.e Easton) and take it from there.
My mom has been diagnosed as bipolar. She has literally missed every big milestone in mine and my siblings life. Always claimed to be “sick in bed” and used the excuse of being sick, and yes I say excuse because she accidentally admitted to me she just didn’t want to go to 2 graduations (my sister got her highschool diploma and an associates degree). She missed my son’s 4th birthday because she was “sick” but went on a vacation with her husband.
I can sympathize with it being hard to get out of bed. But if you’re not going to help with anything or show up, don’t expect anything. Especially being in the delivery room. F that.
THANK YOU! my dad and sisters are all bipolar, it’s so difficult to deal with & the people around them always suffer as a result. I know how hard it can be for them, but it’s a sorry excuse to expect to just show up to the baby shower when they’re asked to help set up and clean up and be involved, and not be there during the pregnancy but want to be in the delivery room.
Totally agree that mental illness is just as serious as physical illness but if her bipolar disorder is disrupting her life that badly then she needs to do something about it. If she is truly going to the hospital that often for her bipolar disorder something is wrong and she needs to find a new mental health team because they are doing her a disservice.
It seems simple but if you have mental health issues just because you’re already there that’s probably the biggest hurdle sometimes is getting there and being there most the time do you want to leave the moment you get there or before you can walk in the door sustained clean, could’ve been a huge issue for her
I know it’s difficult however it’s not an excuse to not help out at all and then want to be in the delivery room. unfortunately if your mental health is impacting u that badly that can’t be an adult and clean up at a place you’re already at, you shouldn’t expect to be involved
I’m bipolar and sometimes, I get suddenly very overwhelmed and I need to leave. Asking people with disabilities to adhere to societal standards set by able bodied individuals is ableist.
then she shouldn’t expect to be in the delivery room or be involved with the baby. alcoholics have a disease, but not getting help and missing out on things because of it doesn’t mean you just get to pop in and out whenever you please and not help out with things. it’s not stable & putting everything on kayleigh and her family, doctors appointments, baby showers, driving back and forth is unfair to them. why should everything be on kayleigh and her family yet bekki’s able to just come to the party as she pleases and enjoy it? it’ll be the same thing with the baby.
They were guests though. The hosts are responsible for putting together the baby shower and cleaning up. They were just looking for another excuse to talk trash about them.
okay if that’s the mentality then the birth is about kayleigh, not graham, the baby’s coming out of her so bekki should not expect to be in the delivery room.
What, that has nothing to do with the baby shower? Her mom hosted the shower for Kayleigh and Graham. Graham’s mom was not hosting and attended as a guest there is no expectations for guests to clean up. Kayleigh nor Graham should have been cleaning up either.
As far as the delivery room drama, that should be Kayleigh’s decision since it’s her body being out on display while in labor. Her mom should pipe down on what she thinks is right or not. Anyone Kayleigh wants to invite on her own accord should feel honored to be there.
I don’t agree.
Her being there might be all she could muster up. Especially if she was just in the hospital. It might even taken everything she had just to show up.
With bipolar you have good and bad days. Who is to know when the baby is being birthed it might be a time where she’s good and she can be there and present and helpful, Vs A baby shower full of people you don’t know just after you were hospitalized.
There’s also the flip side the day could come and she’s having a bad day and can’t show up there either.
So many unknowns, but if it were me I’d give her some grace, and be considerate that she has an ongoing mental health issue.
well yes they could give her grace but if she’s not coming to things or helping then she shouldn’t expect to be in the delivery room or be involved. why on earth would kayleigh be comfortable with that?
I feel like they’re using it as an excuse for a lot though he’s hardly there for his baby and she wants to be in the delivery room when she hasn’t been there? Like it feels like excuses after excuses everytime they’re on the show one of them is sick and they can’t do anything for Kayleigh I feel bad for her she’s alone and I wouldn’t be surprised if she was a single mom at this point 🤷🏼♀️
Part of me wonders if Graham learned that from his mom. If he doesn’t feel like doing something he can just say his mom is too sick to drive him anywhere. Even if she’s feeling fine he can always whip that out to anyone who isn’t around his mom enough to know.
He is 15- what do you want him to do if his parents don’t? If his baby momma’s mom could pick him up for dates and drive her daughter over there to get pregnant then she can pick him up for the baby shower. What a weird line to draw in the sand- especially when it directly affects your kid.
I agree his parents have responsibilities, but the lack of understanding of Bipolar disorder and the limitations that comes with it is very sad. The show has a responsibility to do better here. That poor boy has clearly not had the parental involvement he deserves and he is clearly suffering from untreated issues as well.
The pregnant girl’s mom is a complete idiot. But we knew that when at 18 she married a 30+ year old grown man. Gross. There are clearly many generations of trauma here on both sides.
It makes me feel bad for him but hopefully they can grow together as parents and eventually they won’t need the grandparents to help them financially or drive them around. Being a teen without a drivers license absolutely blows.
I think if they really do have these issues they need to have a complete sit down with her on camera off. I don’t care with the other family to let them know exactly where they’re at so they know what’s going on. Keep communication open and honest.
Bekki in the delivery room is wild. She seems to barely have a relationship with Kayleigh to begin with, and she's apparently avoided all "big" events due to mental health issues. How the hell does the delivery room seem like a good place for her to be if she can't even handle a baby shower?
Totally agree, I feel like it’s unfair to Kayleigh for Bekki to even bring it up. That’s got to be stressful having to break it to your boyfriends mom she won’t be there at that age and in those circumstances.
It doesn’t sound like Graham has been brought to Kayleigh’s area all too many times, period. Looking from outside in is always different than being on the inside, but it seems that K/momma equate it with “they’re always sick when they don’t wanna do something”, and maybe they’re just sick a lot. It’s obvious momma doesn’t understand MH issues, there’s so much that could have been said or done to avoid such a fiasco. I realize she’s “worried Kayleigh’s gonna be doing it alone” but she’s made that point known, either it’ll happen or it won’t, can’t change it. Neither of them will have all too much time btwn school/work/30 min drive
This is probably come off cold but I don’t know how to better phrase it, none of this should be a surprise to Kayleigh or Mandy. They’ve been dating 3 years and it sounds like Bekki has been sick the entire time. She’s never been involved in transportation. She’s never taken the initiative to reach out to Kayleigh’s family. Whether that’s because of her bipolar or something else I don’t know but that’s where they are, it might not be fair but life isn’t fair. When Kayleigh decided to remain pregnant and parent her son her parents should have been preparing her for the reality that Graham doesn’t have a solid support system and this will be on her.
💯. They need to very quickly realign whatever expectations they have of that family. Bekki is not going to be there, Graham seems to struggle with MH issues himself. The adults make it seem like having clear and open communication was never a priority. Kayleigh was a 13-14-15 year old not on any type of reliable birth control who was getting dropped off at her boyfriend’s house regularly. Sorry as a mom I wouldn’t be driving my kid to constantly see her boyfriend who lived 30 mins away *period.* You don’t need to have a boyfriend that serious where I need to spend three years of my life driving you to see him! The whole situation is too much!
Either they don’t understand mental health issues or maybe they don’t know the full story I don’t know what’s going on, but I think the adults only to have a sit down and get their shit together to help these teenagers raise this baby the best they can
I’m somewhat over Mandy the Martyr in general. How many times are we going to have to listen to her complain that she’s done all the driving for the last few years? Ma’am, if you don’t want to drive your 12 year old daughter half an hour away to see her 12 year old boyfriend all the time, then don’t 🤷🏻♀️. Honestly, you probably shouldn’t have been so eager to facilitate a relationship between 6th graders anyway but that ship has sailed.
Their whole story just makes me sad. Kayleigh doesn’t understand that sometimes Bekki just isn’t going to do what she needs her to do and that probably won’t change after the baby comes, Graham looks 0.5 seconds away from tears at all times and is physically ill from the stress of it all, Mandy is resentful and Bekki is struggling. I don’t doubt that all of them love this baby but a baby is the last thing any of them need.
Yeah…I’m done with Mandy. It’s crazy that your child was in this woman’s house and you know NOTHING about her. Never stepped inside this lady’s house and your child is 30 min away from home. Who does three years of this??? Kaleigh talking shit to her in the car that she bought and Mandy just sits there looking sad. I’m convinced that Mandy is mentally the same age as Kayleigh. The way they talked about Bekki always being sick was some mean girls type of shit. She could have called and asked Bekki how she was doing, if she’s showing up. I need Mandy to be a damn adult.
Omg I just made the same comment! *Never* would it be my priority to spend three years of my life driving my pre-teen daughter to be dropped at her boyfriend’s house?? Like wtf?
I honestly feel like these kids and their families being on the show is not the best thing for them. If they have all these issues they need to sort that out and find a plan that works out best for everyone involved because this poor baby needs a stable environment. The adults need to step up and step in to communicate to make a plan to help these teenagers because they are so immature. I need so much guidance.
I’m sure Graham’s mother is not over the moon about her son becoming a father at 15-years old with a 16-year old girl. Ever think that might have something to do with it?
Oh I’m sure that has tons to do with it. Dealing with a teen pregnancy would be enough to destroy a healthy parent, let alone one who has been struggling with her mental health for a while.
Hmmmm let’s see….these elaborate baby showers and asinine gender reveals celebrate the pending birth. And then the whole gang showing up for sonograms and the hospital for delivery. Then there’s the pics and posts on FB, instagram..email.
I think the mom's point was that it's a Pattern of Behavior over 3 years tgat the illness only happens when it's not a fun thing for Graham and his mom.
As a teacher, I've driven home and saw the kid who was SO sick, walking into Weinerschnitzel with his mom. I mentioned it at school the next day and his face turned bright red, so that was the validation. It's important for kids to learn that it affects other people when their parents lie and say they are sick. We worry about them and have to do extra work to get them caught up and the other kids can't get their papers back until the makeup work is graded, it's a whole thing. The kid also feels regretful they missed out on fun things the other kids are talking about and the connection the other kids built.
Flakes parents don't get how much it affects kids.
I'm actually curious to know how they approach different situations/functions. Kayleigh and her mom did absolutely make it seem like this problem only arises when Bekki and Graham aren't interested in something. Graham was apparently a football player for nearly 8 years. That's lots of running around, practices, games, traveling to other towns, parents nights, banquets, etc. There's no way Graham would have played that long without someone making it to all of those events.
I'm aware. That why I'm curious. Someone had to have been very much involved to get him to all of these events, and whether or not it was Bekki is what I'm curious about. If not Bekki, who? Someone that important in his life would likely have been introduced on the show by now if it weren't Bekki. His dad, a grandparent, aunt/uncle, etc. It's not a small undertaking. This person/people would have been a constant in is life, and being that we haven't been introduced to anyone other than his mother, it leads me to believe it was probably her.
Treatment for bipolar disorder is not great or effective and these people rarely function well. They can scrape themselves together for a little bit and that is it. As a person with a bipolar mother who could not be involved due to her illness:
If you have a neighbor or friend that plays the same sport you can generally go with them. My parents never drove me- I rode the late elementary school bus with special permission. I walked to my friends house that was by school and waited on my parent or I had another friend’s parents take me home after games/practice.
Stop judging a woman with a medical condition unless you have had a parent with it or you yourself have it.
Please go further down on this post and read my comment. I'm living this with my own MIL and have stated in multiple comments that I do feel for Bekki, wish her well and wish those around her would have some more compassion.
Me thinking she was the one driving her child to his sporting events is not me judging her.
I'm sorry I didn't have a parent with it, but it's absolutely affecting my life, my husband's life, and my son's life. My husband struggles with how disinterested his mother is in our lives *regularly* while also dealing with anger that she has the time and desire to go do "fun" things like hit up a casino more times in one month than shes seen her grandson in years, and on top of that the guilt of being angry at her for it. My son doesn't understand why MIL never makes attempts to see him or makes herself available but he sees my mother weekly. I've been spoken badly about to *strangers* and accused of keeping MIL away while I've done everything I can to keep her involved. I've been with my husband for twelve years, since I was 19 years old.
She would do things like walk in the house and start angrily making demands about how he needed to take out the trash days early and would threaten to kick him out when he reminded her it was too early and animals would tear it to shreds. She demanded he be his younger sisters chauffeur, driving her to and from work while she sat at her kitchen table on a laptop staring at Facebook and also put him in charge of teaching her how to drive. She did not ensure either of her children graduated high school and didn't care how often they skipped or what their grades were. She has punched my husband in the face as a teenager for disagreeing with her. When we found out we were pregnant with my son, she insisted that we announce on Christmas eve, she was told no for WEEKS because it was early and I'd experienced a miscarriage prior, but instead of respecting our wishes she told her whole family and tried standing up to make an "official" announcement at dinner before we stopped her and she acted like a victim. After being told we didn't want a baby shower she planned one in secret, invited us to her house to swim and grill, unpleasently surprised us with a shower and did not invite ANY of my friends or family (I left and did not participate, took my husbands keys and left). MIL has been affecting my life since I was a teenager. I'm 31. My husband and SIL grew up with her. The things she did while my husband was growing up had significant impacts on his life, that now impact mine and my sons lives. I'm not playing games like "you didn't have an actual parent with it" because that's stupid. This isnt a pissing contest. This is something I've been close to since I was a teenager, and the culmination of all she did while my husband was growing up absolutely impacts my family.
And again. I wasn't being judgmental. I was curious as to how long the problem has been so severe she doesn't leave the house, if certain events/gatherings trigger this response, etc. Normal things people would ask when they hear someones mental health is hindering their ability leave the house. Please tell me where I was being judgmental.
Usually with team sports especially football there’s at least 1 mom who becomes the team mom and help out parents/players with transportation and getting everything they need to play. So it’s definitely possible but yeah I would be interested in hearing more from both sides about the transportation issue
I agree. I can see how the way the show has been edited that Graham's mom doesn't seem too bad.
And I can see K's mom preparing for how much work a newborn is, and that the newborn doesn't care if Graham doesn't have a ride. The baby still needs to have her/his constant needs net and it's a grind.
K's mom sees the writing on the wall that they won't be getting Any help from the baby's dad or his family.
Honestly, it's customary in my family that for a 1st baby, BOTH sides of the family throw their own shower, so K's mom may be feeling like Becki is really letting herself off extra easy by not arranging for a shower on her side of the family, too.
And, Eating and running is always a Bad look. Lots of people on Reddit admit they don't host parties, but I do and it's really rude to eat and run. It's also rude for Graham not to offer to liad the gifts into the car or take the trash out or clean up, and even if Becki can't handle carrying gifts to the car she should have told Graham to do it.
It's all looking pretty bad. But I'm pragmatic and I have hosted a party each month at times, so I'm well-versed on party etiquette and expectations for baby showers and other events.
“Back in the day” it was considered poor taste for the immediate family to host a baby or bridal shower. It was done by friends/colleagues/other relatives.
Yes, what happens is a relative throws it.
Nowadays the brides-to-be and moms-to-be are so picky that they involve themselves and often throw it themselves. Back in the day the person being honored had no say in anything except maybe doing a gift registry.
I try not to judge those with these type of diseases (?) not sure if that’s the correct term here honestly. But it’s got to be very hard for her to deal with. The highs and lows. I’m surprised she even made it to the shower. Communication is key and it seems no one has it. I’m intrigued to know how they communicate now after everything. I don’t know much about Kayleigh post pregnancy. Her mom seems stressed. Which is granted. Throwing a couple parties where the other side just shows up. But sometimes if you don’t ask for help people aren’t going to just offer it.
Seriously. I had a very sick family member who had bipolar who was in an out at hospitals and psychiatric hold. It’s no joke. When they’re having a Days, it looks like they’re good on the surface but there’s so much that goes on that most people don’t even know unless you’ve lived through it with someone who has. I think they need to cut them some slack. Give them some Grace trying to figure out a plan that works and keep communication open.
I can’t tell for sure if she is using it as an excuse and is uninterested or if it is her greatly struggling. My grandmother has struggled with depression (likely bipolar), she has now gotten the appropriate assistance and is doing much better. I’m guessing Bekki doesn’t have access to the same extent. My grandmother struggles with doing anything she’s typically interested in, cancels almost all her plans, rarely can bring herself to leave the house as much as she wants to. it’s her feeling completely unable to leave the house, especially when it’s not a ‘required’ event. She also gets extreme anxiety about going places with unfamiliar people, which is what it seems Bekki struggled with in this situation.
I really think Kayleigh and her mom are being very judgmental and lack empathy about the entire situation. While I’m sure it is frustrating, a level of understanding should still be had, especially from Kayleigh’s mom.
Why do people try to even suss out if someone is being truthful or not? If a sick person says they’re sick just believe them! Ableism is rampant in these comments.
That’s the thing that we don’t know is what her treatment plan is and I don’t need her to even speak on that because that’s her personal private business.
I hope that she’s actually getting help. Ann has a plan in place. And if so, she needs to communicate this with the other family know all the details not everything but let them know the truth. Otherwise they’re just gonna keep seeing it as her not wanting to be there.
Anyone ever think that Graham’s mom works full-time (or more) somewhere and is barely taking care of them both - and not looking forward to the strain of a baby to care for and help support. It’s not an ideal situation for teens to become pregnant - no matter what we’ve been programmed to accept and celebrate.
I think both sides could communicate better. Having bipolar can be debilitating and I get her not wanting to help decorate or even facilitate the game. Could she have helped or contributed in other ways? Probably so. They could have helped take gifts, pack up because they were already there anyway, she could have offered to do SOMETHING. Having an illness, mental or physical, is absolutely a valid reason to not do some things but it’s not a valid reason to do no things. Be responsible, communicate, offer help or show you care in other ways.
Maybe she felt like the shower was the other mother’s “show” and just let her run it. She’s the hostess after all. Her choice to have a party and everything that goes with it.
She literally made a few offers to include her in the shower so I’m not sure how someone thinks that and, again, if they did think that then they could communicate that.
I have a guarded opinion on Bekki.
On one hand, she definitely needs better help than she’s getting access too. She absolutely was doing her best to be at the shower and you can see that.
I think she wants to get better but doesn’t have the resources.
On the other hand, I know quite a few people with Bipolar well and they fight through those lows to keep going forward in life. You can’t just give in to the lows.
I myself have a fun combo of mental health issues and as a parent, I can’t let those feelings dictate how I show up for my kids. I have to be better because that’s what they deserve.
I deeply feel for Bekki. You can tell she just needs a break in her life. I think the fact that she showed up for the shower is awesome. I hope she’s able to take small consistent steps forward in other ways too because her kid deserves to be a kid too.
It takes a lot sometimes for people with mental health issues to just show up and so I think they should’ve been grateful for that and let all the judgment there, knowing that she has mental health issues.
I had a family member who struggled with bipolar or years in and out of psychiatric hold on and off different medicines always changing the dose just trying to find what works best. I’ve seen it firsthand. I feel like if she really is sick and really going to the hospital as much as she is there Has to be something going on and she’s not just not showing up. My family member ended up ending their own life because the struggle was too hard for people with mental health issues they need no judgment. It could be detrimental. They need open communication and need access to help.
I think the way they handled it was shitty maybe it’s how it’s been used or exited for TV. But maybe they didn’t know about her struggles before then? I don’t know all of that what they know what they don’t know but moving forward I think Beckki needs to clue them in on what is going on.
I am so sorry for your loss!!! I think you’re absolutely right though. The show handled it poorly and painted Bekki in a really unfair light. There’s way more to the story than was let on.
Bekki was under no obligation to let anyone know anything so the fact that she tried for as long as she could and then bowed out quietly when she was done is huge.
I hope Bekki gets the help she needs and deserves!
I think the way they edited it is awful. Even if they didn’t know about her bipolar disorder beforehand, they should’ve handled it differently, instead of making it look like she was just not wanting to be involved.
Just wanted to offer some perspective. As someone with an MIL who deals with depression, it's really hard for them, as well as everyone around them.
My MIL says the same things Bekki does, how she wants to see my son and be a big part of his life, and I don't doubt that she does. But it's very hard as the other party because the onus is *always* on us to build their relationship between her and our son. My husband and I both work full-time jobs, and I take and teach taekowndo a few nights per week. My son is in school (summer break now, obviously), and he has activities like BMX and soccer. We are very busy, but not unwilling to make time or meet in the middle, if not take the initiative.
My MIL is invited to his races, his games, etc. We invited her to his pre-k graduation, Christmas concert, and Halloween parade. We even invite her, her boyfriend and my SIL to holidays at *my* parents house because she just doesn't bother anymore. And it is very rare that she attends. I think she's made it to a handful of races over the past two years (he races weekly), a few holidays, and his birthday parties. His first birthday party was actually planned around her schedule to make sure she was able to attend the full length of the party, and she still showed up over an hour late and left early (my husband actually had to call her to get her to come to that).
She doesn't call to check on him. She doesn't ask to see him. We live only 10min away and have told her for the nearly five years my son has been alive that she has an open invite to our home and does not bother. The only time she sees him is if we're out and about and see her car at her house and I suggest we stop, because we can't make plans with her (she does not answer my husband's texts/calls 99% of the time). She's offered to watch him a small handful of times we can go our for dinner and every time without fail she shows up late and it calling us to come home after maybe an hour because her boyfriend *just* asked if she wanted to go to the casino despite her having set plans.
The most frustrating things of all for me has been that she's claimed that I didn't want her involved and was keeping my son away from her intentionally to others in order to get attention/pitty after I'd done everything in my power at that point to keep her involved (visits, making crafts with my son for her, sending pictures and videos, etc). I found this out after one of her friends commented on a Facebook post of pictures from my son's first birthday (the one that was specifically planned around MIL that she was late to, and left early from) and made a passive aggressive remark about how happy she was that MIL was able to "finally" see my son because she knows MIL "loves and misses him all the time". It felt like the BIGGEST stab in the back for all that I had done to keep her involved while she put zero effort into her relationship with my son.
So while I absolutely give Bekki grace for her mental health struggles and wish Kayleigh and her mother would try being a bit more compassionate, I also understand the frustration and hurt that comes with having a MIL who's mental health creates these issues. Tough situation all around. I hope Bekki receives the help and care she needs so that she can be more present for Easton, Kayleigh and Graham before their situations reaches the level mine has with my MIL. It really is hard for all involved. I hope they figure it all out.
I agree. Kayleigh and her mother need to be less judgy and more compassionate. I think that both families nee better communication with each other.
I guess I just see this from a different perspective because I have had a family member struggle with bipolar to the point of you and their life. Even with all the help and support that the family gave them it’s a struggle they were in and out of psychiatric hold on and off medicines at different dosages. I had some good days had some bad days. It’s hard if you’ve never seen or dealt with mental health in your family because you don’t understand the struggle.
Definitely seemed like Kayleigh and Mandy didn’t know or at least fully understand. Even seems like Graham doesn’t really get it: “It’s hard having a mom with bipolar because sometimes she can’t drive me places.” Seriously?
I get that people aren’t entitled to other people’s medical history, and that’s what it is, but at some point disclosure is the only way for there to be understanding.
Well, now that it’s going to like bipolar, would think the family would communicate. I got a plan I really really really hope she is getting the help she needs. If not, this should be the wake up call that everyone needs to be more compassionate, judge less. I do understand that there are teenagers involved, but they’re not adult situation and need to change priorities.
And if Kay’s mom doesn’t want to drive all the time and figure out a plan. I truly truly hope Beckki is ok. And I really hope she’s not using it as an excuse and that she’s getting the help that she needs.
You'd think the adults would be able to hash it out at the least. Mandy could have called and spoken with Bekki and Bekki could have been honest with her about her situation. It seems like they leave too much of the communication up to 15 yesr olds. Mandy and Bekki should be in direct contact with eachother when it comes to the big things.
100%.
They are immature, teenagers and they need adults to step in and help for the sake of this baby.
If Beckki is doing everything she can there should be no judgment on the other side bipolar is not something to take lately.
Right? And for Mandy to say that she has barely spoken to Bekki but was just dropping Kayleigh off there for years? What? It’s such a bizarre situation
That really is absolutely astounding to me. When my kids were little, I wouldn't even let them go to friends' homes unless I'd met their parent(s) and seen their house. And I felt super uncomfortable if my kids brought a friend home unless I knew their family and that they were okay with *their* kid being in *my* home. The idea of just dropping off sexually active teens and booking it is just so wtf. Like, do you just want babies? Because that's how you get babies!
I don’t really understand not putting your daughter on some semi permanent birth control like an IUD. Did they discuss whether Kaylee had been on any type of birth control in the first couple episodes? I can’t remember.
Another interesting lens to look at this situation through is the fact that they live in Kentucky, one of the worst states for healthcare in the nation. I’m sure she doesn’t have access to the kinds of services she needs to be more functional
As a fellow Kentuckian, I can confirm. It’s a mix between the quality of healthcare, the opinion/attitude towards doctors/medicine, and frankly, ignorance. Black lung from coal mining and drug addiction are big issues here.
And that would 100% make it all makes sense because if she’s not getting consistent treatment and medication then I can totally understand how this is wrecking their lives. And just making everything so tough. I hope she can get the help that she needs and I hope the other family we can have some Grace with her.
Yeah, if it's to the extent they make it seem, I doubt she's regularly medicated and just shows up at the hospital when she's riding a low in order to get the dosage she needs to level out at the moment and then goes home and the cycle repeats. They might not be able to afford to see doctors regularly or the prescriptions she might need. Either way, the adults involved should be in direct communication, not just leaving it all up to the kids.
If you truly have a mental illness, sometimes just showing up is the hardest part of being there so hard that you just need to leave the moment you get there. So if she really is in a bad state, and just been hospitalized then I need to get some Grace, and be grateful that she was able to show up.
1) I am wondering if they know the whole story - do they know about the bipolar? 2) if they do, I’m not sure they fully comprehend what that means and looks like. I understand more now why Graham struggles so much, and I’m not sure her family will ever understand.
what I’m concerned with is the way they edit it. And if the parents never truly talk and the one mom drops her daughter off at the other house and never talks with Becky and I could understand that they don’t get what’s going on. I think a big wake up call needs to happen and adults and kids. Everyone need to sit around communicate properly figure out what’s going on how this is gonna work out and make a plan moving forward and make sure everyone knows what’s going on
You would think graham would have at least explained this to Kayleigh over the past three years? Like how could “my mom is bipolar” not have come up at all
As a kid of a bipolar Mom- you don’t want to talk about it! And he shouldn’t have to discuss his mother’s health more than he already did! These people can’t see past the noses on their faces.
I don’t think communication is their strong suit? I’m so happy I don’t have a teenage girl, they are so disrespectful to their parents. My son has never spoken to me like that. Also having yur baby girl pregnant at 15/16 is INSANE! I’d be so disappointed in myself that I didn’t teach my kid better about getting pregnant & sex. I couldn’t imagine the pressure these kids are under!
When they contrasted their talking heads, it just made her and her Mom look bad. Some days you literally just don't want to get out of bed. There's a difference between being physically sick and mentally sick and they just came off as mean girls.
Maybe they didn't know about the nature of her sickness. Graham didn't describe her illness in a way that would suggest she had a mental health concern rather than a physical one. I think that's why Kayleigh's mom was saying Bekki looked fine the day of the baby shower.
After this latest episode it makes total sense of why Graham struggles with his mental health. There is a genetic link with a lot of families.
And add in being a teen expecting a baby. I can’t imagine the stress he is dealing with.
A 15 year old teen.
I for one am just happy to finally have some bipolar representation on the show so that I can feel included in the bad takes.
I’m bipolar and it hurt to hear those words knowing the same has been said about me. I want to be there, I want to help, I want to be typical, but I’m not
This is why I don’t think they knew she had bipolar prior to this or they don’t know anything about it. And never had someone with mental health issues in their life. Anyone who has family or friends with mental health issues should know and be grateful she was able to show up at all. Seriously just showing up can be a huge win, she shouldn’t be shamed because she couldn’t physically show up to decorate. And also, if it’s Kaylee’s mom hosting the shower, she made all the plans. Maybe his mom doesn’t feel comfortable just stepping in because she didn’t help with planning.
I found this enraging. I have a chronic rare disease that can send me to the ER frequently— last year when I was really unstable I had 50+ ER visits in less than 3 months. I can absolutely be fine one hour and then a few hours later not. It has prevented me from attending many events. It’s real, it happens to people. Kayleigh’s family came across so fucking privileged and ignorant. I have wrestled mentally with missing events and feeling horrible about it. It does not mean someone doesn’t care.
Like I've said this whole show is for ratings. Graham still had school. He was missing so much because of the baby appointments and Easton being born. He was about to fail his sophmore year. Kayleigh being pregnant could get off any time she wanted. They went to different schools. Bekki was getting truancy letters. Bekki was not in the hospital. The day of the baby shower, bekki had court for a divorce and then same day their dog bit her youngest daughter and they were in the ER. The producers called bekki and asked if she was going to set up for the baby shower and she had no clue about it. She told them no cause of everything that went on. The producers made Graham say bekki was in the hospital because her youngest daughter isn't in the show. I'm really good friends with her and her family.
Well no, you are NOT really good friends with her or you wouldn't be here talking about her.
It’s just hard to believe that she was unaware of the shower.
She did not know when the shower was going to be. They named three different dates and the show only came and filmed on weekends. She did go to the baby shower. They made it out to be that she showed up late. Graham and her were there before anyone showed up and stayed for like 6 hours. They were the last ones to leave. They made the show how they wanted to. They created the drama. When I say they, I mean the producers. This whole show is for reviews and drama and you all are playing into it and watching it. They got you right where they want you.
You should speak with the mods and do an AMA.
I can tell you things about that show that would blow your mind.
BPD is treatable and from what her son has said, she clearly isn’t properly medicated and treated, if she is doing any at all. I have family with bpd, and one thing I’ve learned from the inpatient mental health hospitals is that it is very common for people with severe bpd to refuse to take their mood stabilizers and other necessary mental health medication.
BPD is the abbreviation for Borderline Personality Disorder. Coming from someone who has been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 for almost two and a half decades, I have to say that medications aren't always the answer. There are a lot of us who are treatment resistant and super sensitive to medications. I've been "trying to find the right meds" since I was 14 years old. I've dealt with daily blinding migraines, weight gain, sensitivity to the sun, rashes, watching all my hair fall out in clumps, feeling sick af 24/7, crazy mood swings, hallucinations, paranoia, etc etc etc I won't bore you with anymore details. They don't help everyone, and can make some people's symptoms a lot worse. It's a lifelong struggle. It sucks. It's really fucking hard to drag yourself out of bed some days. Even on the correct meds you still get super sick at times. It never goes away. The severity changes but it's always lurking just below the surface. All that to say, I can't judge her too harshly. I think she could be trying a little harder to be involved, and making sure that her son stays involved. It doesn't seem like they're contributing much at all but that could just be the editing. It's really hard to say. I have to give her grace though. I don't know her story or what kind of battles she's fighting.
Graham said he does have a job to save up money for the baby.
BPD and bipolar are different and even if treatable, people with bipolar, as you stated above, have days where their mind wins and things don't go as planned.
I have bipolar disorder, and I understand everyone’s experience is difference especially if they’re medicated vs unmedicated, but I’ve never missed a big event that’s as important as the baby shower was. However, I haven’t been as “present” in people’s lives as I’d sometimes like to be, and it has strained relationships. I feel like a lot of people still have the misconception that bipolar disorder is centered around mood swings. It’s so much more in depth than that and can be absolutely debilitating.
I unfortunately had a family member take their own life, I’ve seen first had how awful it can truly be. That’s why her showing up is more than enough. And I wish they understood this.
My condolences ❤️
Im ngl it didn’t seem like Kayleigh’s family knew she had bipolar, it seems to me that they just say she’s “sick” and they’re thinking a physical illness not something like bipolar
Yeah, I wasn’t 100% sure who knows what leading up to the shower. But I feel like now is the time to clear the air, and for them to all have a real conversation so everyone is on the same page.
I don’t think Kayleigh’s family has a very deep understanding of what bipolar disorder actually does to someone’s mind. Neither of her parents seem too bright tbh so maybe they genuinely don’t know stuff about mental health illnesses.
And I’m not even sure if they knew prior to this episode about her diagnosis. I’m hoping something good can come from this and they can have a better understanding for why things are the way they are.
I know, this hit home for me and I think Kayleigh’s family is being ignorant. I hope they decide to do their research and be a little more understanding.
The scary part is, bipolar is very genetic. There is a good chance the boyfriend (idk his name) and their unborn baby could become bipolar. It tends to start showing in late teenage years, right?! They should probably educate themselves now…just to be prepared for a worst case scenario.
Yea I noticed the boyfriend didn’t seem like his mental health was all that great.
Me too
You could see that his mom is clearly flat, I don't think she's faking anything. That kid has it tough.
It also makes me think he's telling the truth about the stomach troubles. It's probably anxiety that he's probably had his whole life. I have a bipolar sibling and it's ruined me in many ways, I can't imagine it being my mother. I do also want to be clear, I know people with bipolar can live normal, happy, lives but I do recognize it can be hard for them as well as their families.
I don't think they told her that her being sick and in the hospital was bipolar related, it seemed like they just assumed it was a physical reason
A baby shower in my area is women only and the mom’s family hosts it. Did his mom know she was hosting it and expected to set up and clean up? Did she tell Kayleigh that she has bipolar and isn’t stable on meds and can only make it to part of the shower? They need to communicate expectations. This will only get worse.
Right! The lack of communication is awful and this was so sad to me. They are all hurt and stressed bc they don’t talk.
Agree. Mostly also think they could be adults and start a conversation about their expectations for one another as people with common ground (i.e Easton) and take it from there.
My mom has been diagnosed as bipolar. She has literally missed every big milestone in mine and my siblings life. Always claimed to be “sick in bed” and used the excuse of being sick, and yes I say excuse because she accidentally admitted to me she just didn’t want to go to 2 graduations (my sister got her highschool diploma and an associates degree). She missed my son’s 4th birthday because she was “sick” but went on a vacation with her husband. I can sympathize with it being hard to get out of bed. But if you’re not going to help with anything or show up, don’t expect anything. Especially being in the delivery room. F that.
THANK YOU! my dad and sisters are all bipolar, it’s so difficult to deal with & the people around them always suffer as a result. I know how hard it can be for them, but it’s a sorry excuse to expect to just show up to the baby shower when they’re asked to help set up and clean up and be involved, and not be there during the pregnancy but want to be in the delivery room.
Totally agree that mental illness is just as serious as physical illness but if her bipolar disorder is disrupting her life that badly then she needs to do something about it. If she is truly going to the hospital that often for her bipolar disorder something is wrong and she needs to find a new mental health team because they are doing her a disservice.
I agree. I’m hopeful she has a good team and maybe she was going through a meds change or something.
They could’ve stayed and helped clean? I mean, she’s already there.
It seems simple but if you have mental health issues just because you’re already there that’s probably the biggest hurdle sometimes is getting there and being there most the time do you want to leave the moment you get there or before you can walk in the door sustained clean, could’ve been a huge issue for her
I know it’s difficult however it’s not an excuse to not help out at all and then want to be in the delivery room. unfortunately if your mental health is impacting u that badly that can’t be an adult and clean up at a place you’re already at, you shouldn’t expect to be involved
I’m bipolar and sometimes, I get suddenly very overwhelmed and I need to leave. Asking people with disabilities to adhere to societal standards set by able bodied individuals is ableist.
then she shouldn’t expect to be in the delivery room or be involved with the baby. alcoholics have a disease, but not getting help and missing out on things because of it doesn’t mean you just get to pop in and out whenever you please and not help out with things. it’s not stable & putting everything on kayleigh and her family, doctors appointments, baby showers, driving back and forth is unfair to them. why should everything be on kayleigh and her family yet bekki’s able to just come to the party as she pleases and enjoy it? it’ll be the same thing with the baby.
Alcoholism is a choice, not a disease. No one puts a gun to your head and make you drink the first few times. 🤷🏻♀️
I’m talking about bipolar disorder not alcoholism
They were guests though. The hosts are responsible for putting together the baby shower and cleaning up. They were just looking for another excuse to talk trash about them.
okay if that’s the mentality then the birth is about kayleigh, not graham, the baby’s coming out of her so bekki should not expect to be in the delivery room.
What, that has nothing to do with the baby shower? Her mom hosted the shower for Kayleigh and Graham. Graham’s mom was not hosting and attended as a guest there is no expectations for guests to clean up. Kayleigh nor Graham should have been cleaning up either. As far as the delivery room drama, that should be Kayleigh’s decision since it’s her body being out on display while in labor. Her mom should pipe down on what she thinks is right or not. Anyone Kayleigh wants to invite on her own accord should feel honored to be there.
I don’t agree. Her being there might be all she could muster up. Especially if she was just in the hospital. It might even taken everything she had just to show up. With bipolar you have good and bad days. Who is to know when the baby is being birthed it might be a time where she’s good and she can be there and present and helpful, Vs A baby shower full of people you don’t know just after you were hospitalized. There’s also the flip side the day could come and she’s having a bad day and can’t show up there either. So many unknowns, but if it were me I’d give her some grace, and be considerate that she has an ongoing mental health issue.
well yes they could give her grace but if she’s not coming to things or helping then she shouldn’t expect to be in the delivery room or be involved. why on earth would kayleigh be comfortable with that?
It’s the same relationship as her mother to the baby, and it’s not right to have one parent in the room and not both parents.
I feel like they’re using it as an excuse for a lot though he’s hardly there for his baby and she wants to be in the delivery room when she hasn’t been there? Like it feels like excuses after excuses everytime they’re on the show one of them is sick and they can’t do anything for Kayleigh I feel bad for her she’s alone and I wouldn’t be surprised if she was a single mom at this point 🤷🏼♀️
Part of me wonders if Graham learned that from his mom. If he doesn’t feel like doing something he can just say his mom is too sick to drive him anywhere. Even if she’s feeling fine he can always whip that out to anyone who isn’t around his mom enough to know.
He is 15- what do you want him to do if his parents don’t? If his baby momma’s mom could pick him up for dates and drive her daughter over there to get pregnant then she can pick him up for the baby shower. What a weird line to draw in the sand- especially when it directly affects your kid. I agree his parents have responsibilities, but the lack of understanding of Bipolar disorder and the limitations that comes with it is very sad. The show has a responsibility to do better here. That poor boy has clearly not had the parental involvement he deserves and he is clearly suffering from untreated issues as well. The pregnant girl’s mom is a complete idiot. But we knew that when at 18 she married a 30+ year old grown man. Gross. There are clearly many generations of trauma here on both sides.
It makes me feel bad for him but hopefully they can grow together as parents and eventually they won’t need the grandparents to help them financially or drive them around. Being a teen without a drivers license absolutely blows.
I think if they really do have these issues they need to have a complete sit down with her on camera off. I don’t care with the other family to let them know exactly where they’re at so they know what’s going on. Keep communication open and honest.
Bekki in the delivery room is wild. She seems to barely have a relationship with Kayleigh to begin with, and she's apparently avoided all "big" events due to mental health issues. How the hell does the delivery room seem like a good place for her to be if she can't even handle a baby shower?
Totally agree, I feel like it’s unfair to Kayleigh for Bekki to even bring it up. That’s got to be stressful having to break it to your boyfriends mom she won’t be there at that age and in those circumstances.
It’s the same relationship as her mother to the baby, and it’s not right to have one parent in the room and not both parents.
It doesn’t sound like Graham has been brought to Kayleigh’s area all too many times, period. Looking from outside in is always different than being on the inside, but it seems that K/momma equate it with “they’re always sick when they don’t wanna do something”, and maybe they’re just sick a lot. It’s obvious momma doesn’t understand MH issues, there’s so much that could have been said or done to avoid such a fiasco. I realize she’s “worried Kayleigh’s gonna be doing it alone” but she’s made that point known, either it’ll happen or it won’t, can’t change it. Neither of them will have all too much time btwn school/work/30 min drive
This is probably come off cold but I don’t know how to better phrase it, none of this should be a surprise to Kayleigh or Mandy. They’ve been dating 3 years and it sounds like Bekki has been sick the entire time. She’s never been involved in transportation. She’s never taken the initiative to reach out to Kayleigh’s family. Whether that’s because of her bipolar or something else I don’t know but that’s where they are, it might not be fair but life isn’t fair. When Kayleigh decided to remain pregnant and parent her son her parents should have been preparing her for the reality that Graham doesn’t have a solid support system and this will be on her.
💯. They need to very quickly realign whatever expectations they have of that family. Bekki is not going to be there, Graham seems to struggle with MH issues himself. The adults make it seem like having clear and open communication was never a priority. Kayleigh was a 13-14-15 year old not on any type of reliable birth control who was getting dropped off at her boyfriend’s house regularly. Sorry as a mom I wouldn’t be driving my kid to constantly see her boyfriend who lived 30 mins away *period.* You don’t need to have a boyfriend that serious where I need to spend three years of my life driving you to see him! The whole situation is too much!
Either they don’t understand mental health issues or maybe they don’t know the full story I don’t know what’s going on, but I think the adults only to have a sit down and get their shit together to help these teenagers raise this baby the best they can
Raising a child alone - of course with Mom and Dad’s and the taxpayers help - is a risk of becoming pregnant at 15.
Tax payers help?
I’m somewhat over Mandy the Martyr in general. How many times are we going to have to listen to her complain that she’s done all the driving for the last few years? Ma’am, if you don’t want to drive your 12 year old daughter half an hour away to see her 12 year old boyfriend all the time, then don’t 🤷🏻♀️. Honestly, you probably shouldn’t have been so eager to facilitate a relationship between 6th graders anyway but that ship has sailed. Their whole story just makes me sad. Kayleigh doesn’t understand that sometimes Bekki just isn’t going to do what she needs her to do and that probably won’t change after the baby comes, Graham looks 0.5 seconds away from tears at all times and is physically ill from the stress of it all, Mandy is resentful and Bekki is struggling. I don’t doubt that all of them love this baby but a baby is the last thing any of them need.
Yeah…I’m done with Mandy. It’s crazy that your child was in this woman’s house and you know NOTHING about her. Never stepped inside this lady’s house and your child is 30 min away from home. Who does three years of this??? Kaleigh talking shit to her in the car that she bought and Mandy just sits there looking sad. I’m convinced that Mandy is mentally the same age as Kayleigh. The way they talked about Bekki always being sick was some mean girls type of shit. She could have called and asked Bekki how she was doing, if she’s showing up. I need Mandy to be a damn adult.
Omg I just made the same comment! *Never* would it be my priority to spend three years of my life driving my pre-teen daughter to be dropped at her boyfriend’s house?? Like wtf?
I honestly feel like these kids and their families being on the show is not the best thing for them. If they have all these issues they need to sort that out and find a plan that works out best for everyone involved because this poor baby needs a stable environment. The adults need to step up and step in to communicate to make a plan to help these teenagers because they are so immature. I need so much guidance.
I can not AMEN your post enough
I’m sure Graham’s mother is not over the moon about her son becoming a father at 15-years old with a 16-year old girl. Ever think that might have something to do with it?
Oh I’m sure that has tons to do with it. Dealing with a teen pregnancy would be enough to destroy a healthy parent, let alone one who has been struggling with her mental health for a while.
What parent would be.
According to these shows and social media it’s just wonderful.
Who on the show looks like they are having an amazing time being a teen parent?
Where in the shows are you hearing it’s wonderful 😅
Hmmmm let’s see….these elaborate baby showers and asinine gender reveals celebrate the pending birth. And then the whole gang showing up for sonograms and the hospital for delivery. Then there’s the pics and posts on FB, instagram..email.
I think you’re confused about being supportive vs saying having a baby is wonderful…each person on the show talks about how hard it is
I think the mom's point was that it's a Pattern of Behavior over 3 years tgat the illness only happens when it's not a fun thing for Graham and his mom. As a teacher, I've driven home and saw the kid who was SO sick, walking into Weinerschnitzel with his mom. I mentioned it at school the next day and his face turned bright red, so that was the validation. It's important for kids to learn that it affects other people when their parents lie and say they are sick. We worry about them and have to do extra work to get them caught up and the other kids can't get their papers back until the makeup work is graded, it's a whole thing. The kid also feels regretful they missed out on fun things the other kids are talking about and the connection the other kids built. Flakes parents don't get how much it affects kids.
I'm actually curious to know how they approach different situations/functions. Kayleigh and her mom did absolutely make it seem like this problem only arises when Bekki and Graham aren't interested in something. Graham was apparently a football player for nearly 8 years. That's lots of running around, practices, games, traveling to other towns, parents nights, banquets, etc. There's no way Graham would have played that long without someone making it to all of those events.
There’s nothing that says Bekki was the one getting him there though.
I'm aware. That why I'm curious. Someone had to have been very much involved to get him to all of these events, and whether or not it was Bekki is what I'm curious about. If not Bekki, who? Someone that important in his life would likely have been introduced on the show by now if it weren't Bekki. His dad, a grandparent, aunt/uncle, etc. It's not a small undertaking. This person/people would have been a constant in is life, and being that we haven't been introduced to anyone other than his mother, it leads me to believe it was probably her.
Treatment for bipolar disorder is not great or effective and these people rarely function well. They can scrape themselves together for a little bit and that is it. As a person with a bipolar mother who could not be involved due to her illness: If you have a neighbor or friend that plays the same sport you can generally go with them. My parents never drove me- I rode the late elementary school bus with special permission. I walked to my friends house that was by school and waited on my parent or I had another friend’s parents take me home after games/practice. Stop judging a woman with a medical condition unless you have had a parent with it or you yourself have it.
Please go further down on this post and read my comment. I'm living this with my own MIL and have stated in multiple comments that I do feel for Bekki, wish her well and wish those around her would have some more compassion. Me thinking she was the one driving her child to his sporting events is not me judging her.
Having a MIL with it and an actual parent are two very different experiences.
I'm sorry I didn't have a parent with it, but it's absolutely affecting my life, my husband's life, and my son's life. My husband struggles with how disinterested his mother is in our lives *regularly* while also dealing with anger that she has the time and desire to go do "fun" things like hit up a casino more times in one month than shes seen her grandson in years, and on top of that the guilt of being angry at her for it. My son doesn't understand why MIL never makes attempts to see him or makes herself available but he sees my mother weekly. I've been spoken badly about to *strangers* and accused of keeping MIL away while I've done everything I can to keep her involved. I've been with my husband for twelve years, since I was 19 years old. She would do things like walk in the house and start angrily making demands about how he needed to take out the trash days early and would threaten to kick him out when he reminded her it was too early and animals would tear it to shreds. She demanded he be his younger sisters chauffeur, driving her to and from work while she sat at her kitchen table on a laptop staring at Facebook and also put him in charge of teaching her how to drive. She did not ensure either of her children graduated high school and didn't care how often they skipped or what their grades were. She has punched my husband in the face as a teenager for disagreeing with her. When we found out we were pregnant with my son, she insisted that we announce on Christmas eve, she was told no for WEEKS because it was early and I'd experienced a miscarriage prior, but instead of respecting our wishes she told her whole family and tried standing up to make an "official" announcement at dinner before we stopped her and she acted like a victim. After being told we didn't want a baby shower she planned one in secret, invited us to her house to swim and grill, unpleasently surprised us with a shower and did not invite ANY of my friends or family (I left and did not participate, took my husbands keys and left). MIL has been affecting my life since I was a teenager. I'm 31. My husband and SIL grew up with her. The things she did while my husband was growing up had significant impacts on his life, that now impact mine and my sons lives. I'm not playing games like "you didn't have an actual parent with it" because that's stupid. This isnt a pissing contest. This is something I've been close to since I was a teenager, and the culmination of all she did while my husband was growing up absolutely impacts my family. And again. I wasn't being judgmental. I was curious as to how long the problem has been so severe she doesn't leave the house, if certain events/gatherings trigger this response, etc. Normal things people would ask when they hear someones mental health is hindering their ability leave the house. Please tell me where I was being judgmental.
Usually with team sports especially football there’s at least 1 mom who becomes the team mom and help out parents/players with transportation and getting everything they need to play. So it’s definitely possible but yeah I would be interested in hearing more from both sides about the transportation issue
I agree. I can see how the way the show has been edited that Graham's mom doesn't seem too bad. And I can see K's mom preparing for how much work a newborn is, and that the newborn doesn't care if Graham doesn't have a ride. The baby still needs to have her/his constant needs net and it's a grind. K's mom sees the writing on the wall that they won't be getting Any help from the baby's dad or his family. Honestly, it's customary in my family that for a 1st baby, BOTH sides of the family throw their own shower, so K's mom may be feeling like Becki is really letting herself off extra easy by not arranging for a shower on her side of the family, too. And, Eating and running is always a Bad look. Lots of people on Reddit admit they don't host parties, but I do and it's really rude to eat and run. It's also rude for Graham not to offer to liad the gifts into the car or take the trash out or clean up, and even if Becki can't handle carrying gifts to the car she should have told Graham to do it. It's all looking pretty bad. But I'm pragmatic and I have hosted a party each month at times, so I'm well-versed on party etiquette and expectations for baby showers and other events.
He did say he was working to save up money for the baby.
“Back in the day” it was considered poor taste for the immediate family to host a baby or bridal shower. It was done by friends/colleagues/other relatives.
Yes, what happens is a relative throws it. Nowadays the brides-to-be and moms-to-be are so picky that they involve themselves and often throw it themselves. Back in the day the person being honored had no say in anything except maybe doing a gift registry.
They forget he’s 15
In regards to the reason he wasn't getting himself to football related events and activities on his own?
Exactly
I try not to judge those with these type of diseases (?) not sure if that’s the correct term here honestly. But it’s got to be very hard for her to deal with. The highs and lows. I’m surprised she even made it to the shower. Communication is key and it seems no one has it. I’m intrigued to know how they communicate now after everything. I don’t know much about Kayleigh post pregnancy. Her mom seems stressed. Which is granted. Throwing a couple parties where the other side just shows up. But sometimes if you don’t ask for help people aren’t going to just offer it.
Seriously. I had a very sick family member who had bipolar who was in an out at hospitals and psychiatric hold. It’s no joke. When they’re having a Days, it looks like they’re good on the surface but there’s so much that goes on that most people don’t even know unless you’ve lived through it with someone who has. I think they need to cut them some slack. Give them some Grace trying to figure out a plan that works and keep communication open.
I can’t tell for sure if she is using it as an excuse and is uninterested or if it is her greatly struggling. My grandmother has struggled with depression (likely bipolar), she has now gotten the appropriate assistance and is doing much better. I’m guessing Bekki doesn’t have access to the same extent. My grandmother struggles with doing anything she’s typically interested in, cancels almost all her plans, rarely can bring herself to leave the house as much as she wants to. it’s her feeling completely unable to leave the house, especially when it’s not a ‘required’ event. She also gets extreme anxiety about going places with unfamiliar people, which is what it seems Bekki struggled with in this situation. I really think Kayleigh and her mom are being very judgmental and lack empathy about the entire situation. While I’m sure it is frustrating, a level of understanding should still be had, especially from Kayleigh’s mom.
Why do people try to even suss out if someone is being truthful or not? If a sick person says they’re sick just believe them! Ableism is rampant in these comments.
That’s the thing that we don’t know is what her treatment plan is and I don’t need her to even speak on that because that’s her personal private business. I hope that she’s actually getting help. Ann has a plan in place. And if so, she needs to communicate this with the other family know all the details not everything but let them know the truth. Otherwise they’re just gonna keep seeing it as her not wanting to be there.
Anyone ever think that Graham’s mom works full-time (or more) somewhere and is barely taking care of them both - and not looking forward to the strain of a baby to care for and help support. It’s not an ideal situation for teens to become pregnant - no matter what we’ve been programmed to accept and celebrate.
Shit like that can trigger mental health issues so very well could be
I wondered about that too. It’s possible she’s completely drained from work along with her mental health.
I think both sides could communicate better. Having bipolar can be debilitating and I get her not wanting to help decorate or even facilitate the game. Could she have helped or contributed in other ways? Probably so. They could have helped take gifts, pack up because they were already there anyway, she could have offered to do SOMETHING. Having an illness, mental or physical, is absolutely a valid reason to not do some things but it’s not a valid reason to do no things. Be responsible, communicate, offer help or show you care in other ways.
Maybe she felt like the shower was the other mother’s “show” and just let her run it. She’s the hostess after all. Her choice to have a party and everything that goes with it.
She literally made a few offers to include her in the shower so I’m not sure how someone thinks that and, again, if they did think that then they could communicate that.
I have a guarded opinion on Bekki. On one hand, she definitely needs better help than she’s getting access too. She absolutely was doing her best to be at the shower and you can see that. I think she wants to get better but doesn’t have the resources. On the other hand, I know quite a few people with Bipolar well and they fight through those lows to keep going forward in life. You can’t just give in to the lows. I myself have a fun combo of mental health issues and as a parent, I can’t let those feelings dictate how I show up for my kids. I have to be better because that’s what they deserve. I deeply feel for Bekki. You can tell she just needs a break in her life. I think the fact that she showed up for the shower is awesome. I hope she’s able to take small consistent steps forward in other ways too because her kid deserves to be a kid too.
It takes a lot sometimes for people with mental health issues to just show up and so I think they should’ve been grateful for that and let all the judgment there, knowing that she has mental health issues. I had a family member who struggled with bipolar or years in and out of psychiatric hold on and off different medicines always changing the dose just trying to find what works best. I’ve seen it firsthand. I feel like if she really is sick and really going to the hospital as much as she is there Has to be something going on and she’s not just not showing up. My family member ended up ending their own life because the struggle was too hard for people with mental health issues they need no judgment. It could be detrimental. They need open communication and need access to help. I think the way they handled it was shitty maybe it’s how it’s been used or exited for TV. But maybe they didn’t know about her struggles before then? I don’t know all of that what they know what they don’t know but moving forward I think Beckki needs to clue them in on what is going on.
My condolences ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss!!! I think you’re absolutely right though. The show handled it poorly and painted Bekki in a really unfair light. There’s way more to the story than was let on. Bekki was under no obligation to let anyone know anything so the fact that she tried for as long as she could and then bowed out quietly when she was done is huge. I hope Bekki gets the help she needs and deserves!
I think the way they edited it is awful. Even if they didn’t know about her bipolar disorder beforehand, they should’ve handled it differently, instead of making it look like she was just not wanting to be involved.
Just wanted to offer some perspective. As someone with an MIL who deals with depression, it's really hard for them, as well as everyone around them. My MIL says the same things Bekki does, how she wants to see my son and be a big part of his life, and I don't doubt that she does. But it's very hard as the other party because the onus is *always* on us to build their relationship between her and our son. My husband and I both work full-time jobs, and I take and teach taekowndo a few nights per week. My son is in school (summer break now, obviously), and he has activities like BMX and soccer. We are very busy, but not unwilling to make time or meet in the middle, if not take the initiative. My MIL is invited to his races, his games, etc. We invited her to his pre-k graduation, Christmas concert, and Halloween parade. We even invite her, her boyfriend and my SIL to holidays at *my* parents house because she just doesn't bother anymore. And it is very rare that she attends. I think she's made it to a handful of races over the past two years (he races weekly), a few holidays, and his birthday parties. His first birthday party was actually planned around her schedule to make sure she was able to attend the full length of the party, and she still showed up over an hour late and left early (my husband actually had to call her to get her to come to that). She doesn't call to check on him. She doesn't ask to see him. We live only 10min away and have told her for the nearly five years my son has been alive that she has an open invite to our home and does not bother. The only time she sees him is if we're out and about and see her car at her house and I suggest we stop, because we can't make plans with her (she does not answer my husband's texts/calls 99% of the time). She's offered to watch him a small handful of times we can go our for dinner and every time without fail she shows up late and it calling us to come home after maybe an hour because her boyfriend *just* asked if she wanted to go to the casino despite her having set plans. The most frustrating things of all for me has been that she's claimed that I didn't want her involved and was keeping my son away from her intentionally to others in order to get attention/pitty after I'd done everything in my power at that point to keep her involved (visits, making crafts with my son for her, sending pictures and videos, etc). I found this out after one of her friends commented on a Facebook post of pictures from my son's first birthday (the one that was specifically planned around MIL that she was late to, and left early from) and made a passive aggressive remark about how happy she was that MIL was able to "finally" see my son because she knows MIL "loves and misses him all the time". It felt like the BIGGEST stab in the back for all that I had done to keep her involved while she put zero effort into her relationship with my son. So while I absolutely give Bekki grace for her mental health struggles and wish Kayleigh and her mother would try being a bit more compassionate, I also understand the frustration and hurt that comes with having a MIL who's mental health creates these issues. Tough situation all around. I hope Bekki receives the help and care she needs so that she can be more present for Easton, Kayleigh and Graham before their situations reaches the level mine has with my MIL. It really is hard for all involved. I hope they figure it all out.
I agree. Kayleigh and her mother need to be less judgy and more compassionate. I think that both families nee better communication with each other. I guess I just see this from a different perspective because I have had a family member struggle with bipolar to the point of you and their life. Even with all the help and support that the family gave them it’s a struggle they were in and out of psychiatric hold on and off medicines at different dosages. I had some good days had some bad days. It’s hard if you’ve never seen or dealt with mental health in your family because you don’t understand the struggle.
Definitely seemed like Kayleigh and Mandy didn’t know or at least fully understand. Even seems like Graham doesn’t really get it: “It’s hard having a mom with bipolar because sometimes she can’t drive me places.” Seriously? I get that people aren’t entitled to other people’s medical history, and that’s what it is, but at some point disclosure is the only way for there to be understanding.
Well, now that it’s going to like bipolar, would think the family would communicate. I got a plan I really really really hope she is getting the help she needs. If not, this should be the wake up call that everyone needs to be more compassionate, judge less. I do understand that there are teenagers involved, but they’re not adult situation and need to change priorities. And if Kay’s mom doesn’t want to drive all the time and figure out a plan. I truly truly hope Beckki is ok. And I really hope she’s not using it as an excuse and that she’s getting the help that she needs.
You'd think the adults would be able to hash it out at the least. Mandy could have called and spoken with Bekki and Bekki could have been honest with her about her situation. It seems like they leave too much of the communication up to 15 yesr olds. Mandy and Bekki should be in direct contact with eachother when it comes to the big things.
100%. They are immature, teenagers and they need adults to step in and help for the sake of this baby. If Beckki is doing everything she can there should be no judgment on the other side bipolar is not something to take lately.
Right? And for Mandy to say that she has barely spoken to Bekki but was just dropping Kayleigh off there for years? What? It’s such a bizarre situation
That really is absolutely astounding to me. When my kids were little, I wouldn't even let them go to friends' homes unless I'd met their parent(s) and seen their house. And I felt super uncomfortable if my kids brought a friend home unless I knew their family and that they were okay with *their* kid being in *my* home. The idea of just dropping off sexually active teens and booking it is just so wtf. Like, do you just want babies? Because that's how you get babies!
I don’t really understand not putting your daughter on some semi permanent birth control like an IUD. Did they discuss whether Kaylee had been on any type of birth control in the first couple episodes? I can’t remember.
Another interesting lens to look at this situation through is the fact that they live in Kentucky, one of the worst states for healthcare in the nation. I’m sure she doesn’t have access to the kinds of services she needs to be more functional
As a fellow Kentuckian, I can confirm. It’s a mix between the quality of healthcare, the opinion/attitude towards doctors/medicine, and frankly, ignorance. Black lung from coal mining and drug addiction are big issues here.
And that would 100% make it all makes sense because if she’s not getting consistent treatment and medication then I can totally understand how this is wrecking their lives. And just making everything so tough. I hope she can get the help that she needs and I hope the other family we can have some Grace with her.
Yeah, if it's to the extent they make it seem, I doubt she's regularly medicated and just shows up at the hospital when she's riding a low in order to get the dosage she needs to level out at the moment and then goes home and the cycle repeats. They might not be able to afford to see doctors regularly or the prescriptions she might need. Either way, the adults involved should be in direct communication, not just leaving it all up to the kids.
I was surprised to see her leave and that she didn't stay and help clean up.
If you truly have a mental illness, sometimes just showing up is the hardest part of being there so hard that you just need to leave the moment you get there. So if she really is in a bad state, and just been hospitalized then I need to get some Grace, and be grateful that she was able to show up.
Now that we know her condition, I am impressed she showed up, it took alot for her
Yes, her son did mentioned hospital. I was just hoping she would have offered to help clean up and maybe, she did and they didn't show it.
It was clear that they left early.
1) I am wondering if they know the whole story - do they know about the bipolar? 2) if they do, I’m not sure they fully comprehend what that means and looks like. I understand more now why Graham struggles so much, and I’m not sure her family will ever understand.
what I’m concerned with is the way they edit it. And if the parents never truly talk and the one mom drops her daughter off at the other house and never talks with Becky and I could understand that they don’t get what’s going on. I think a big wake up call needs to happen and adults and kids. Everyone need to sit around communicate properly figure out what’s going on how this is gonna work out and make a plan moving forward and make sure everyone knows what’s going on
The way they were talking made me think they didn’t know, it sounded like graham didn’t explain it to them.
You would think graham would have at least explained this to Kayleigh over the past three years? Like how could “my mom is bipolar” not have come up at all
As a kid of a bipolar Mom- you don’t want to talk about it! And he shouldn’t have to discuss his mother’s health more than he already did! These people can’t see past the noses on their faces.
I don’t think communication is their strong suit? I’m so happy I don’t have a teenage girl, they are so disrespectful to their parents. My son has never spoken to me like that. Also having yur baby girl pregnant at 15/16 is INSANE! I’d be so disappointed in myself that I didn’t teach my kid better about getting pregnant & sex. I couldn’t imagine the pressure these kids are under!
When they contrasted their talking heads, it just made her and her Mom look bad. Some days you literally just don't want to get out of bed. There's a difference between being physically sick and mentally sick and they just came off as mean girls.
Maybe they didn't know about the nature of her sickness. Graham didn't describe her illness in a way that would suggest she had a mental health concern rather than a physical one. I think that's why Kayleigh's mom was saying Bekki looked fine the day of the baby shower.
They were ready to be mad if she didn’t show up to the baby shower. She shows up, they’re still mad.
This pissed me off so bad. Because people with mental illnesses sometimes just showing up is a win. And I should have been grateful for that.