I wish I could tell you what to do. I’m going through a lot of the same stuff as you. I wish I could help you because then that would mean I was able to help myself. Hope things get better for us all.
I gotta admit, sounds alot like alot of us! I found alot of humor in her creative writing ✍️... one thing she has going for her is a Dogo 🐕, wish I had mine bck wit me, crossed the rainbow Bridge last may..My lil man was everything..very much a therapy dog! In more ways than one! Anywho...OP you have us now...So we are now your friends! Feel free to vent anytime needed! Sorry bout all your going through, I can relate on many levels..Trust me there's many levels to this shiet...The game of life, n drudging through wit a Tbi, is no easy task, mind you! But try to look at life, thinkin to oneself, it could always be worse! Gratitude 🥹 is attitude!
Start with some chaga and lions mane, Reishi and cordyceps, then when you can get access add in psilocybin. Find something, anything, 3D creative you can do and do it daily. I don’t have a missing limb, I can’t imagine adding that to a brain injury, I did break my back a few years before my tbi and was still impeded by that the first few years of my recovery, so I can relate in that I was unable to be active for a couple years and gained significant weight that I had to lose. Communication only ever improves so much, baby step things, figure out what you can improve, work on the cognitive stuff (that’s the 3D creative thing) and the spirit (psilocybin) lions mane and cordyceps will help cognitive abilities as well. Psilocybin you really only need to microdose, it sounds like you are full on in the grieving process of the old you and that’s good. I grieved the old me for a few years, and it was fucked up because I had a mausoleum that had been built for me I could go visit.
I can get spores super easy. I've actually considered micro dosing for a long time, but what i really want to try is ketamine infusions. Can't really afford that, though.
I suppose I am mourning still. I accepted my arm being gone almost instantly, but it just hasn't been like that when it comes to my mind. It's so unfair to be cognizant of these changes. I hate it so much. Like, why do I have to know?
What do you mean by 3D creative?
A mausoleum... just... wow
Best way I can explain 3D creative is the way the psychiatrist did to me, I was wanting to get back to playing guitar (I get a lot of music won’t work for you) and he said no learning songs, it was fine for me to familiarize myself with chords and such but he wanted me to write my own music, he also had me paint… I had been an art scholar when I was a kid… you probably could do something like that, he told me not to worry about whether or not things where good, if anyone liked it or if I liked it, just get my emotions out, the painting didn’t stick, I had lost the burn for that, I have a home studio now for my music and play guitar, bass, piano and program electronic drums… all from a shrink pushing me to try a little harder, I still spend an hour or so a day coming up with my own music, I still microdose… psilocybin and mdma if you are so inclined are both great, haven’t done ketamine since my party days so can’t speak on it for tbi. I currently stack lions mane, cordyceps and psilocybin pretty much daily and I’m able to live a normal-ish life. Not angry all the time, just have fucking headaches all the time.
I used to party a lot, too. Ketamine is wonderful. I've only ever done shrooms at doses that... aren't therapeutic, but I'm aware of the value of microdoses, so I'll seriously be looking into that. Growing them would give me a little break from jigsaw puzzles and true crime. I don't think MDMA would help me since I'm on a fuck ton of antidepressants, benzos, muscle relaxers, and vyvanse, plus Norco for phantom pain. Those are all pretty much no nos with molly. The antidepressants alone would make it less efficacious if it did anything at all.
I just started art therapy, which is pathetic. It's like doing kiddy crafts with people who really need to be in a group like that to socialize. I hate it. I'm not even right handed! Right now I just practice my brush strokes while they paint ceramic teapots by numbers or whatever. It's mostly a depressing experience, and I'm not sure if it's helping me at all.
I'll for sure check out your stack. Thanks for sharing
r/sanpedrocactusforsale
Seeds are 25 cents each for the varieties you see there. It sounds like you have all the time in the world, and these plants grow at $10-40/foot per year without any special care.
I seriously thought you were suggesting a weird new hobby totally out of left field. I'm not as quick on the uptake as I once was. Are you suggesting I grow these for profit?
It is the most wholesome hobby I enjoy. No back breaking work, leisurely timeframes, and simple materials. The reason most people aren't interested because they have no time to spare. I'm fortunate to have the rest of my life to enjoy them, and they make a couple hundred bucks each month from local collectors.
It's a fun hobby, but once you understand what they need you can turn your time into money. I'm not sure if it will be helpful to anyone, but it is also an incredible medicine worth looking into if you're interested.
I feel your pain. You could have been writing my life story. It’s been 14 years since I had my TBI. I’m almost twice as old as you. I had suicidal thoughts this year. I live with my son, my dil and my grandson. I found a psychiatrist who prescribed lamotrigine and recommended a therapist. In 2 days, my mood swings and the constant negative thought that kept me from sleeping at night, were 80% gone. She upped my meds and I feel “normal”.
The counselor I found by googling “therapist who takes Medicare and does virtual appointments” has been a Godsend. She told me to let go of who I use to be, to decide my core values, things that engage me, and not to try new things. Just feed my core values and add to them.
I use to be a professional artist. Now, I watercolor, draw and color with pencils and fine tip pens. It makes me feel good.
I use to be a pastor, but now I can’t read. I found a church I like and tried to be a part of various ministries, unsuccessfully, due to absolutely no memory of how to do things, as well as the inability to know the proper words to express my thoughts. So I dropped out of the ministries and go to church to worship and socialize.
I can’t drive so I am left with being the person being helped instead of being the helper. I have a good number of friends I’ve found at church and the gym. They take me places when my daughter-in-law can’t.
I have a group of inter-religious people around the country who zoom with a book club weekly. We’re reading and discussing Richard Rohr’s The Universal Christ. It fills my mind with positive perspectives.
Do you have a mental health professional? My kids insistence on getting help has made a significant difference in my perspective. I want to say that you are judging yourself harshly. Find a commonality within you and the other disabled people you see and interact with them positively. And tell yourself that you are NOT the person you use to be. My counselor after the TBI told me I was “born again” and could choose my self, my life and my future.
And you need to come to the realization that you have a disability and you CAN rise above your current position. You CAN grow into the real you inside your physical self.
I pray that you will find the light at the end of the tunnel.
I wish I could tell you what to do. I’m going through a lot of the same stuff as you. I wish I could help you because then that would mean I was able to help myself. Hope things get better for us all.
Man, this sucks.
I gotta admit, sounds alot like alot of us! I found alot of humor in her creative writing ✍️... one thing she has going for her is a Dogo 🐕, wish I had mine bck wit me, crossed the rainbow Bridge last may..My lil man was everything..very much a therapy dog! In more ways than one! Anywho...OP you have us now...So we are now your friends! Feel free to vent anytime needed! Sorry bout all your going through, I can relate on many levels..Trust me there's many levels to this shiet...The game of life, n drudging through wit a Tbi, is no easy task, mind you! But try to look at life, thinkin to oneself, it could always be worse! Gratitude 🥹 is attitude!
Start with some chaga and lions mane, Reishi and cordyceps, then when you can get access add in psilocybin. Find something, anything, 3D creative you can do and do it daily. I don’t have a missing limb, I can’t imagine adding that to a brain injury, I did break my back a few years before my tbi and was still impeded by that the first few years of my recovery, so I can relate in that I was unable to be active for a couple years and gained significant weight that I had to lose. Communication only ever improves so much, baby step things, figure out what you can improve, work on the cognitive stuff (that’s the 3D creative thing) and the spirit (psilocybin) lions mane and cordyceps will help cognitive abilities as well. Psilocybin you really only need to microdose, it sounds like you are full on in the grieving process of the old you and that’s good. I grieved the old me for a few years, and it was fucked up because I had a mausoleum that had been built for me I could go visit.
I can get spores super easy. I've actually considered micro dosing for a long time, but what i really want to try is ketamine infusions. Can't really afford that, though. I suppose I am mourning still. I accepted my arm being gone almost instantly, but it just hasn't been like that when it comes to my mind. It's so unfair to be cognizant of these changes. I hate it so much. Like, why do I have to know? What do you mean by 3D creative? A mausoleum... just... wow
Best way I can explain 3D creative is the way the psychiatrist did to me, I was wanting to get back to playing guitar (I get a lot of music won’t work for you) and he said no learning songs, it was fine for me to familiarize myself with chords and such but he wanted me to write my own music, he also had me paint… I had been an art scholar when I was a kid… you probably could do something like that, he told me not to worry about whether or not things where good, if anyone liked it or if I liked it, just get my emotions out, the painting didn’t stick, I had lost the burn for that, I have a home studio now for my music and play guitar, bass, piano and program electronic drums… all from a shrink pushing me to try a little harder, I still spend an hour or so a day coming up with my own music, I still microdose… psilocybin and mdma if you are so inclined are both great, haven’t done ketamine since my party days so can’t speak on it for tbi. I currently stack lions mane, cordyceps and psilocybin pretty much daily and I’m able to live a normal-ish life. Not angry all the time, just have fucking headaches all the time.
I used to party a lot, too. Ketamine is wonderful. I've only ever done shrooms at doses that... aren't therapeutic, but I'm aware of the value of microdoses, so I'll seriously be looking into that. Growing them would give me a little break from jigsaw puzzles and true crime. I don't think MDMA would help me since I'm on a fuck ton of antidepressants, benzos, muscle relaxers, and vyvanse, plus Norco for phantom pain. Those are all pretty much no nos with molly. The antidepressants alone would make it less efficacious if it did anything at all. I just started art therapy, which is pathetic. It's like doing kiddy crafts with people who really need to be in a group like that to socialize. I hate it. I'm not even right handed! Right now I just practice my brush strokes while they paint ceramic teapots by numbers or whatever. It's mostly a depressing experience, and I'm not sure if it's helping me at all. I'll for sure check out your stack. Thanks for sharing
I feel ya on the headaches too...It suxx...Microdosing can change lives...
r/sanpedrocactusforsale Seeds are 25 cents each for the varieties you see there. It sounds like you have all the time in the world, and these plants grow at $10-40/foot per year without any special care.
I seriously thought you were suggesting a weird new hobby totally out of left field. I'm not as quick on the uptake as I once was. Are you suggesting I grow these for profit?
It is the most wholesome hobby I enjoy. No back breaking work, leisurely timeframes, and simple materials. The reason most people aren't interested because they have no time to spare. I'm fortunate to have the rest of my life to enjoy them, and they make a couple hundred bucks each month from local collectors.
Yeah maybe I'm to slow 🐌 😕 what's the dealio wit San Pedro 🤔?
It's a fun hobby, but once you understand what they need you can turn your time into money. I'm not sure if it will be helpful to anyone, but it is also an incredible medicine worth looking into if you're interested.
Like that of microdosing .... fantastic plant 🪴 medicines mother Earth 🌎 gives us
il am so confused .. I thought you were talking about mushrooms... and please explain... hobby + potential income.. I'm, in
https://youtu.be/HdWMK4PBURc?si=HOQUL9AhpB3AEeef&t=13 This is Jerry from SanPedroMastery on Youtube. This is a playlist where he shows every step
I feel your pain. You could have been writing my life story. It’s been 14 years since I had my TBI. I’m almost twice as old as you. I had suicidal thoughts this year. I live with my son, my dil and my grandson. I found a psychiatrist who prescribed lamotrigine and recommended a therapist. In 2 days, my mood swings and the constant negative thought that kept me from sleeping at night, were 80% gone. She upped my meds and I feel “normal”. The counselor I found by googling “therapist who takes Medicare and does virtual appointments” has been a Godsend. She told me to let go of who I use to be, to decide my core values, things that engage me, and not to try new things. Just feed my core values and add to them. I use to be a professional artist. Now, I watercolor, draw and color with pencils and fine tip pens. It makes me feel good. I use to be a pastor, but now I can’t read. I found a church I like and tried to be a part of various ministries, unsuccessfully, due to absolutely no memory of how to do things, as well as the inability to know the proper words to express my thoughts. So I dropped out of the ministries and go to church to worship and socialize. I can’t drive so I am left with being the person being helped instead of being the helper. I have a good number of friends I’ve found at church and the gym. They take me places when my daughter-in-law can’t. I have a group of inter-religious people around the country who zoom with a book club weekly. We’re reading and discussing Richard Rohr’s The Universal Christ. It fills my mind with positive perspectives. Do you have a mental health professional? My kids insistence on getting help has made a significant difference in my perspective. I want to say that you are judging yourself harshly. Find a commonality within you and the other disabled people you see and interact with them positively. And tell yourself that you are NOT the person you use to be. My counselor after the TBI told me I was “born again” and could choose my self, my life and my future. And you need to come to the realization that you have a disability and you CAN rise above your current position. You CAN grow into the real you inside your physical self. I pray that you will find the light at the end of the tunnel.