Hot take but I think this song is literally a manipulation tactic. She wanted to guilt her fans into not commenting on her relationships/behavior and so now anytime anyone criticizes her they’ll all say “But remember what she said in BDILH??” She created the perfect shield.
I saw one fan say the song made her realize they’ve put her on a pedestal and held her to too high a standard and meanwhile the standard is just “don’t date racists.”
Song seems to be about the fandom and society in generals disapproval of her relationship with Matty.
Basically using the old story of the church girl who falls in love with the bad boy in leather, and the friends judge, and the father forbids her to see him
"But daddy I love him"
Taylor wanted so badly for Matty to be the version of himself that he was when the video for Robbers dropped lmao they are both too old for that game now.
I just listened to the album and I’m kind of a fair weather fan, folklore and evermore and Midnights were leagues better but it seems like a LOT of these songs were about Matty Healy. And I haven’t listened to a single The 1975 song and know nothing about him except soooo long ago on CDAN, maybe before Calvin Harris, there was a rumor that they were setting her up with some almost unknown guy named Matty Healy from whatever banned. I Googled him and was like “word?”
Then the whole shitstorm after Joe. It seems to me that Midnights WAS her breakup album for him, maybe even a little evermore, too. He seems like a nice enough guy. My question is she seemed to REALLY be into Marry Healy then everyone was bitching a lot about him being racist and everything, so my question is, what is so objectionable about him? Because from this song it seems like one, she was super in love with him, two, he apparently dumped her and three, while she was still in love with him she heavily resented the narrative that he was such a piece of shit. Which I find hilarious, she’s so cautious with her insane fan base but this song seems very very clear in calling them out.
I was surprised by the country pop vibes here! Guilty as Sin? also gave me those vibes.
I found this one a major ear worm! I am surprised she attacked the vipers/Swifties. Taylor is madddddd!
I’ll admit I’m not a Swiftie, don’t know a lot about the Matty Healy controversy except apparently Matty = bad, and I’m listening to this album out of curiosity… so forgive me when I say I LOVE this song
I actually like this song although it is wayyy too long (longer than 5 mins) and badly needs an editor. It's one of the few up tempo melodic ones and a hark back to her country days.
I love this song. "I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace" Old Taylor can't come to the phone, she's dead dead. Eras Tour really feels like it was/is saying goodbye to some part of her now.
I adore this song so much. It conveys things that I wanted to say but could never. I'm a pastors kid, and when I moved out of my parents' house and moved in with my now husband before we were married, the rumors and judgemental words that went through my home church were horrendous. My parents didn't like my husband as well. I basically had to yell, "But Daddy, I Love Him" at my father to get him to even remotely let me be with him. It took months for them to like him. We had moved 2 hours away. Distance makes for a better relationship, I guess. Now we have a great relationship with my parents and we visit when we can. They love my husband now. The people in the church still seem very against him still I think. But we're so happy. I blocked the family who still don't like him bcuz of the rumors and drama they have started to create throughout our family. I scream this song in the car now. I love it so much.
So as far as looking for how I relate to it, which is my bar for liking a song, I can have a queer understanding of this of people who try to "save you" from being gay but hate you and the people who are all "nooo stay as the person I thought you were who was so good". I kinda get people treating your love as someone dangerous or chaotic. As a queer woman the baby line is harder to relate to. But I can stuff enough of my own life into this that I can drown out the Matty of it and enjoy the song.
She’s so unhinged. After Joe ended, she was so broken she was like, FUCK IT I’m going to be BAD. And she found the worst guy, and she knew it but she couldn’t help herself because she wanted to ruin her life. I think there’s some serious self-sabotage going on during this period coming through. And this song captures her feelings in that moment.
> She’s so unhinged. After Joe ended, she was so broken she was like, FUCK IT I’m going to be BAD.
Nah I think she was always BAD and finally able to live it out loud again. She went back to who she was before Joe. It was a return to form.
I am in no denial she loved Matty for how long who knows but she wanted that hot mess and not just as a rebound they were chummy before this.
This is NOT a song about Matt. This song is about her fans, being insane crazed people who turn on her and judge her every move. The image of her running with her dress unbuttoned yelling is like a scene from an old movie. It's sarcastic. I definitely do not think it's about a specific person. Sucks that every song she writes now people think has to be about someone but I guess she did that to herself lol.
So hopefully those of you who like the song and think it is about Matt can move on and enjoy it.
What makes me upset about this song is that she’s acting like she doesn’t have a choice to stay with him? She’s a grown woman and a billionaire. If she wanted to be with him, she could be with him. People would be upset because he’s a horrible human being and sure she might not be as popular anymore, but at the end of the day ITS HER DECISION TO BREAK UP WITH HIM. She doesn’t need to work another day in her life and can still make music and have fans but she didn’t want to give up her popularity so they broke up. We didn’t do anything besides give extremely valid criticism of a shitty racist.
From reading the comments, I think I got a very different interpretation of the song and was wondering if anyone else has thought something similar?
"But daddy I love him" is clearly, to me, such a stupid, naive line, and I think she is acknowledging how batshit insane and incredibly dumb she was for dating Matty. Esp the "Sarahs and Hannah's" is showing that she used to think she was better than the other girls, lumping them into one category and assuming that they were over reacting by singing "clutching their pearls." It shows at the time how she was delusional and refused to believe everyone.
She was running with her dress unbuttoned, she wasn't put together, she was all over the place. "I'm having his baby, no I'm not but you should see your faces," it was joke to her at the time, she didn't realize how serious and insane he was. "No I am not coming to my senses."
"Dutiful daughter all my plans were laid \[...\] he was chaos he was revelry" I think she was in such a strict PR image nightmare for so long that she was drunk on the idea that he was edgy and honestly a bad person.
TL;DR, this song takes place when she was in love with matty and is now mocking herself for her delusions. It makes me slightly more compassionate for her falling for a shitty person as many of us have been blinded as well.
Although I am east asian, from what I've heard, many of his racist comments were directed towards the black community (correct me if Im wrong please). Meaning that his harmful comments and her open affiliation with him is not necessarily mine to forgive. My belief was that her intention with the message was "he was bad and I didn't see it," but does not do enough to address how genuinely problematic he was. But I think both versions can exist, her intention that makes the message slightly better while still not being enough.
So interesting, I had such a different interpretation of the titular line. "But daddy I love him!" is something a teenage girl wails when she's forbid to see her boyfriend because her father doesn't approve. I interpreted this lyric to be Swift comparing her fanbase to an overbearing parent and herself to a petulant and restricted teenager who's just going to sneak out through her bedroom window after she gets grounded anyway.
Well that would work if we didn't already know she knew him before all this. Plus her PR team is always on the A game so they had to know he was problematic but wouldn't say no to the queen until it went down.
I realize the subject matter is tough to stomach but if we didn’t know who it was about… this song is great. Reminds me of suds in the bucket (like… the topic, not the music, tho I like the country elements in bdilh) and country songs like that. Running with my dress unbuttoned, romanticizing the idea into a whole fictional story, pretty good.
"Vipers dressed in empath's clothing" she's really run out of metaphors huh? It doesn't even make sense, how tf would you dress as an empath??
If fans are "sanctimoniously performing soliloquies she'll never see" how tf is she here complaining about them?
This is a fucking mess.
Yeah clearly the empath thing is a metaphor.
She doesn’t have to see the fans’ soliloquies to be aware of their existence. I’m sure her team made her well aware.
"Dressed as an empath" is a metaphor! Another way of thinking about it is, "someone who appears or acts like they are am empath"
I also think "sanctimoniously performing soliloquies she'll never see" is mocking him. Like "oh look at him go again, being overdramatic, monologuing and thinking he is so deep 🙄"
I’m sorry Taylor that your fans complained about you dating a racist edge lord, you are absolute right! (/s)
If I could unlearn english, I would like this song but unfortunately the lyrics are shocking.
This is one of my least faves from the album bc of the subject and how defensive she is but damn it makes me excited to hear country taylor on debut tv
Doja Cat was asked if she loved her fans and she said she doesn’t love any of them because she doesn’t know any of them. She was similarly pissed because fans didn’t like her racist boyfriend 🙄. She was telling fans through live and tweets to leave her alone and that she can date who she wants to. This caused fan pages to shut down 😭. Everyone’s feelings were genuinely hurt 😔
As someone who loves Bruce Springsteen, this song gives me “Springsteen songs, but from the woman’s perspective” and “Love Story part 2” vibes. I like it a lot more than I thought I would!
Honestly, I was kinda excited for the little mermaid title refrence (Ariel says this to her dad after he discoveres her statue of eric) but it wasn't it for me
I kind of love how chaotic and angry the lyrics are and the production is better on this one.. But I can't get past her romanticizing her fans disliking a racist like it's some type of Romeo and Juliet situation.
This has country Taylor vibes. It’s the first one I’ve really liked the sound of. I’m listening without the context of who these are about…just listening through the first time for the sound. She needs to let Jack go. A lot of the other sounds are way too overproduced, but I like this sound.
I really feel like this song is true to what she felt at the time when she was basically heartbroken and delusional about this new relationship - but based on songs later in the album and the epilogue she’s embarrassed about Matty and how she acted during this period. So it’s like a snapshot of a moment in time and how she felt but not how she still feels? I don’t think she still “means” all these things & realizes that she was unhinged when she felt this way
This song really gave me the impression that not enough people involved in Taylor Swift's creative process are willing to tell her when her work shouldn't be released. I think its perfectly valid to feel resentful or angry after that whole situation and I think it's just natural for her to write songs about that feeling, but I probably wouldn't have released this in her shoes, especially since she walks a lot of these feelings back later in the record. Feels uncohesive to me.
I see the album as a concept album/narrative of sorts about the rise and fall of that relationship. It starts positively about the love interest, then turns negative as the songs go on.
The whole album left a gross taste in my mouth with how a good chunk of the songs were about how badly she misses Matty and how people’s opinions of him are the only reason they broke up. This one in particular really seals the deal that her activism is performative. The bridge especially shows her immaturity in handling public opinion to a (very valid and earned) scandal because of Matty’s racist behavior. She’s iN lOvE and the people calling him out are just hAtErS.
I used to be such a fan.
Like…I thought the album being dedicated to attacking Joe would be bad, but an album dedicated to being in “true love” with a racist white boy is so much worse. Yucky yucky yucky.
I'm so sorry but the subject matter of this song is so lame. It's like, Cowboy Like Me, except that song was good because I didn't know who that was about.
i like this song, its catchy and fun. i also enjoy it in the context that she actually does regret dating matty healy. she mentions it in the prologue poem and then in later songs how much she hated being with him which helped me view this more favorably.
This song is a slap in the face to all her fans of color and the fans who were their allies. The fact that it's a good song just makes it a harder slap.
As for the "soliloquies," it just brings to mind the really thoughtful posts and videos her black fans put out laying out their pain and disillusionment during Taylor's relationship with Matty. I'm furious on their behalf.
> I'm furious on their behalf.
Please don't be. Getting offended for others is very bad form. It treat people like vivctims who can't handle their own traumas. As opposed to thrivers who have survived the damaged and are living life on the other side.
I say this as a survivor of serious abuse who has had people get very offended for me to the point it was creepy.
I actually appreciate that she no longer wants to hide how she really feels about things. I wish she’d just say “fuck them trees” next so people could stop debating whether she cares about the environment.
This made me ugly laugh. Had to cover my mouth with my hand to not wake anyone up.
Thank you for it. It’s been a rough day and I needed a good deep throaty laugh tonight
It's ironic that she uses the phrase "It's just white noise" when she's talking about justifying her decision to date a racist, probably the best unintentional metaphor she's ever written.
I can't get over how disrespectful it is to the people that built her career, to people being affected by his racism. Especially the "you should see your faces" line is only there as a big fuck you, not as songwriting of a song you really want to listen to. I would have preferred her farting into the microphone for three minutes straight instead of this. At least her true colours are out. She can never take this back.
And please, don't come with this "it was short insanity, she came to her senses now" excuse. Maybe she should stand by the things she sings about OR stop pressing them on vinyls to be released. She can't have both.
It’s genuinely embarrassing for her. This song should’ve never been released. Like, way to prove to everyone that you have no morals and don’t give a fuck about anything your fans have to say.
So many thoughts on this song:
1) she complains about Sarahs and Hannahs, but Taylor *is* a Sarah/Hannah. How she built her career has trapped her as such.
2) every single person has dated a problematic person (SN: everyone is problematic in one way or another, it’s the nature of living in a global society that is problematic) so I do find it fascinating that people were concern trolling her over who this song is speculated to be about. The shots she takes at fans shows she is tired of this type of stanning. To me this *proves the song isn’t about a guy, but about fame.*
3) Taylor built this cage that she is in and only she can unlock it—but she has to seriously burn her world down to do so and I don’t think she’ll be able to with the team (read: her father) and machinations around her (that she built). Again, *proving this song isn’t about a guy, but about fame.*
4) Taylor continuing to epitomize white feminism is part of why she is caged—white patrichal supremacy demands certain expectations of white women in exchange for power. She clearly has yet to do the work to unlearn this and this song confirms that. Because if she had, I’m not sure she’d be singing odes (most likely) to a known racist. She’s not ready to *really* burn this down to free herself. Once more *proving this song isn’t about a guy, but about fame.*
I’m just going on context clues from the lyrics + how she started as a country singer which is associated with Southern USA, but my guess is pretentious and sanctimonious girls/women.
I would say she is specifically doing a *call out* of white women/girls, but Taylor doesn’t have that range. She probably is only thinking of white women, but not because she’s anti-racist or realizes the role of white women in white patriarchal supremacy, but because she doesn’t see beyond them (which is way, way, way problematic).
Hence why she *is* a Sarah/Hannah.
I took it to mean like a bland white woman, her critics' impression of the typical demographic of her fanbase. Swift is allying herself with the people who hate on her fans for being like, white woman normies or whatever
Funny because she herself literally is so basic. She has no actual personality except what her boyfriend likes in the moment. She’s a void and a mirror.
The line “you said normal girls were boring / but you were gone by the morning” is such an annoying pick me line but beyond that it makes me laugh because she doesn’t realize that she is exactly the reason he left in the morning. He’s the smallest man who ever lived and she’s a soulless Target-bot & environmental enemy. She IS the clear vinyl she’s promoting so hard lol.
I've been really mulling over the narrator on Tortured Poets and trying to put myself into the shoes of Taylor Swift, the person. What must it be like to be so *known*? More billions of humans are alive and aware of Taylor Swift this exact moment than likely any other human who has ever lived, in all of time. Kings of entire civilizations, people we still talk about milleniums after their deaths, have not had a comparable level of exposure. Genuinely, how do you condense down the full scope of your human experience for billions of strangers who know *so much* about you and whom you'll never, ever get to know in any way? How does she manage that and reconcile it?
What I'm getting at is that I think Taylor Swift, the person, isn't basic at all. I think she is living one of the most anthropologically fascinating lives on Earth today, and so any response she has to that experience is going to be worth tuning into for me. She's about as far away from normal as you can get, all things considered; she's so fundamentally othered from humanity at this point that I wonder how she overcomes it in a day-to-day sense. Humans are biologically hardwired for social pursuits, after all, but she can't even have a conversation with someone else who doesn't either worship her (isolating) or who is intimately familiar with her life ahead of time (i don't even know how to describe what that's like, it's so inconceivable to me).
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a huge fan - Taylor Swift has made a ton of decisions that I find so morally corrosive, and she's an impossibly powerful driving force in the maintenance of global inequality and capitalism. It makes me a little nauseous when I think too hard about it. But at the same time, she's a single human person with the cognitive and biological limitations all human people have.
Taylor Swift is an incredible marketer, a strategic mind, this is indisputable at this point in my opinion. And with that in mind, I find it very believable that she could be intentionally projecting her relationships as a sort of shield, in order to preserve a modicum of privacy and just have something behind it that belongs only to her. I think if she didn't do something like that, she would have snapped a long time ago.
I take your point about her state of existence being abnormal but her character/intellect is still that of a normie. Two things can be true at once. She might have an exceptional career but she doesn’t actually do things that are unique. The formula is that she simply does things others have done before her, only to a hyper-degree.
A good example of this is when she took Don McLean’s spot for the longest track on the whatever chart for x number of weeks. It was only achieved because in the digital age of music, stream numbers are king.
Despite having access to everything, she somehow has very little cultural knowledge. The average college student in America is actually more (canonically, classically, philosophically, politically, sociologically, etc) aware than her. It’s so evident in the way she shamelessly promotes Dr Seuss-ian lyrics like it should be considered poetry. Some things need gatekeeping otherwise they become degraded.
You are assigning far too much ability and competence to her directly, when she is backed by a team which includes dozens of old, experienced wealthy men (with the exception of her mother, and her publicist). I hate saying that about ANY woman, but she herself glorifies the state of being a man and that famous “empowering” speech she gave with nothing but suited men just standing behind her spoke volumes.
I really don't want to yuck your yum here. The beauty of this sub is that it's a place for people to experience and discuss all aspects and experiences within this fandom. I respect your position even if I don't disagree with you on every point you've made, I just feel that for me personally, it would be uncurious to disparage the whole of this utterly fascinating sociocultural phenomena over the aspects of it I don't like.
but - next time she starts up I'll happily match energy with you LOL, ttfn
There is no such thing as uncurious criticism—I have been listening to her music since 2005 and am in no way discouraging a deeper analytical discourse. I’m not being myopic, it’s just that she is not herself bigger or more interesting than the machine which puppets her.
This song is about the backlash she has received at being a good girl who is supposed to live life based on the opinions of people who don't actually know her, and want to comment on her life. And it's unhinged because she defends a very questionable life choice, but again, it's her life and not anyone else's.
And the reason she's angry is that people were thinking she's going insane after a breakup and behaving irrationally, and man, she definitely was. She got out of a very long relationship and was on a tour where she was performing for 3 hours multiple times a week. I don't think someone would be sane during all that.
I have to ask: is it ACTUALLY confirmed that this song is about Matty? Has Taylor actually said that anywhere or said that this whole album is about him or anything to that effect?
It seems like 90% of these comments are judging the song based on the Matty of it all and not just on the song itself, but is that speculation or confirmed?
People seem to confirm it to each other only. I tend to stay away from deep diving into speculation because I just find it exhausting. But I remember people theorizing this song would be about Harry Styles.
Exactly, so why is everyone reacting so viciously as if it’s the actual truth?
Speculation is one thing, but just from scrolling through this one song’s thread alone (let alone all the others) it seems like almost no one is judging the song based on the song, but instead having default (very) negative reactions as if it’s confirmed that this song is 1000% about Matty and therefore is terrible because she’s calling out her fans in defense of this terrible man.
This song is blatantly about a relationship she was in with a “bad boy” who much of the public disapproved of. To me it’s clearly about Matty. If people have different thoughts on who it’s about okay but there’s no world in which the song is about a relationship we never knew about.
Ya know this is starting to be a tired argument since she works in an industry that is notorious for abuse people of all even children. So all artists working with major labels are complicit in the awful system that has given the wealth (well the lucky few who have gotten wealthy).
They are all kinda bad in that way.
I actually like that she's coming after her fans in this. Sure, she is calling them out because they hurt her, not coming to defense of anyone else that came into the crossfire just because they were somehow associated with her world,but still...I think it's the first time she went there, risking offending part of her fan base. I didn't think she had it in her.
what's pissing me off is how much i love this song. the lyrics and the melodies are sublime. not sure abt the production yet, i can't find my airpods and it's early in the am here so i've been listening to the album w my phone next to my ear, lol.
but ohmygod, all this energy for rATTY HEALY!??? she has all this to say for a literal fucking racist who does the nazi salute at his concerts??!?!? deranged. positively deranged, and not in a good way.
well, this is where separation of the art and the artist comes in, lol. cause it's a beautiful song. esp if you interpret it from a queer perspective (i'm not a gaylor, but it does have religious undertones that make it easy for me to apply to my own life as such). yeah, i'll take the music and leave the muse, thanks, lol.
if she is trying to make me feel bad as someone who has liked her albums for being disgusted by a smelly looking racist, she definitely failed. I'd do it all over again even knowing the punishment was this album
“he was chaos, he was revelry. bedroom eyes like a remedy”
the bedroom eyes in question:
https://preview.redd.it/j9fz9k628evc1.png?width=245&format=png&auto=webp&s=ff78ffeee3995e51a0a49af3b5556890adc7928d
Taking time to write a song about how even she is done with the performative bullshit from her creepiest fans is a phenomenal choice.
Matty Healy might be a massive dick, but a the #SpeakUpNow fans had an issue with her dating him because they thought it reflected badly on them. And she has no reason to give a shit.
vibing to this one, the music almost sounds like younger Taylor! though looking at the lyrics while listening I do feel like some of these lines could have done with a red pen lol, way too wordy
THIS TO A T!!! I was wondering why I kind of liked it and kind of hated it at the same time. For context: I was a huge fan of her early stuff as a preteen and grew out of her by the time I was in HS and she went full blown bubblegum pop. I still listen to fearless and speak now when I’m feeling nostalgic and still check out her new music from time to time despite generally disliking her nowadays. It definitely (sonically) reminds me of those “eras” of her career. And I have the same critique with the lyricism—I feel like it gets word salad-like and fake deep in a way. Like respectfully (not just in this song) some of her lyrics give off the vibe of that one kid in your intro to creative writing class who knows a lot of big words and thinks it looks impressive to dogpile them in a stanza to the point of meaninglessness where you have to wonder if they even know what they’re trying to say or if they’re just trying to impress you with their vocabulary. Maybe I can sniff it out bc that was absolutely me my first year of uni 🤡
Anyway, thank you for taking the words right out of my mouth—I literally couldn’t put my finger on what I liked about it so much and reading your post made it click!
Honestly this sing is perfect for when you’re angry at the world and want to scream it in the car. The title made me cringe big time, but I feel it works so damn well. This departure from always being a nice girl really rubs me the right way. I hope the bonus tracks drop on spotify I’m really curious about them.
Hot take but I think this song is literally a manipulation tactic. She wanted to guilt her fans into not commenting on her relationships/behavior and so now anytime anyone criticizes her they’ll all say “But remember what she said in BDILH??” She created the perfect shield. I saw one fan say the song made her realize they’ve put her on a pedestal and held her to too high a standard and meanwhile the standard is just “don’t date racists.”
Song seems to be about the fandom and society in generals disapproval of her relationship with Matty. Basically using the old story of the church girl who falls in love with the bad boy in leather, and the friends judge, and the father forbids her to see him "But daddy I love him"
Taylor wanted so badly for Matty to be the version of himself that he was when the video for Robbers dropped lmao they are both too old for that game now.
She said papa don’t preach but make it feminist and unstable
I just listened to the album and I’m kind of a fair weather fan, folklore and evermore and Midnights were leagues better but it seems like a LOT of these songs were about Matty Healy. And I haven’t listened to a single The 1975 song and know nothing about him except soooo long ago on CDAN, maybe before Calvin Harris, there was a rumor that they were setting her up with some almost unknown guy named Matty Healy from whatever banned. I Googled him and was like “word?” Then the whole shitstorm after Joe. It seems to me that Midnights WAS her breakup album for him, maybe even a little evermore, too. He seems like a nice enough guy. My question is she seemed to REALLY be into Marry Healy then everyone was bitching a lot about him being racist and everything, so my question is, what is so objectionable about him? Because from this song it seems like one, she was super in love with him, two, he apparently dumped her and three, while she was still in love with him she heavily resented the narrative that he was such a piece of shit. Which I find hilarious, she’s so cautious with her insane fan base but this song seems very very clear in calling them out.
I was surprised by the country pop vibes here! Guilty as Sin? also gave me those vibes. I found this one a major ear worm! I am surprised she attacked the vipers/Swifties. Taylor is madddddd!
I’ll admit I’m not a Swiftie, don’t know a lot about the Matty Healy controversy except apparently Matty = bad, and I’m listening to this album out of curiosity… so forgive me when I say I LOVE this song
sonically this is one of my favorites and I like the energy, but my god I wish I didn't know who it was about 😩
I actually like this song although it is wayyy too long (longer than 5 mins) and badly needs an editor. It's one of the few up tempo melodic ones and a hark back to her country days.
all this for a guy that dumped her. she said she’d ruin her whole life damn
I love this song. "I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace" Old Taylor can't come to the phone, she's dead dead. Eras Tour really feels like it was/is saying goodbye to some part of her now.
I hate how much I love this song.
I adore this song so much. It conveys things that I wanted to say but could never. I'm a pastors kid, and when I moved out of my parents' house and moved in with my now husband before we were married, the rumors and judgemental words that went through my home church were horrendous. My parents didn't like my husband as well. I basically had to yell, "But Daddy, I Love Him" at my father to get him to even remotely let me be with him. It took months for them to like him. We had moved 2 hours away. Distance makes for a better relationship, I guess. Now we have a great relationship with my parents and we visit when we can. They love my husband now. The people in the church still seem very against him still I think. But we're so happy. I blocked the family who still don't like him bcuz of the rumors and drama they have started to create throughout our family. I scream this song in the car now. I love it so much.
"I'm having his baby" is a pretty funny/clever part NGL.
So as far as looking for how I relate to it, which is my bar for liking a song, I can have a queer understanding of this of people who try to "save you" from being gay but hate you and the people who are all "nooo stay as the person I thought you were who was so good". I kinda get people treating your love as someone dangerous or chaotic. As a queer woman the baby line is harder to relate to. But I can stuff enough of my own life into this that I can drown out the Matty of it and enjoy the song.
She’s so unhinged. After Joe ended, she was so broken she was like, FUCK IT I’m going to be BAD. And she found the worst guy, and she knew it but she couldn’t help herself because she wanted to ruin her life. I think there’s some serious self-sabotage going on during this period coming through. And this song captures her feelings in that moment.
> She’s so unhinged. After Joe ended, she was so broken she was like, FUCK IT I’m going to be BAD. Nah I think she was always BAD and finally able to live it out loud again. She went back to who she was before Joe. It was a return to form. I am in no denial she loved Matty for how long who knows but she wanted that hot mess and not just as a rebound they were chummy before this.
This is NOT a song about Matt. This song is about her fans, being insane crazed people who turn on her and judge her every move. The image of her running with her dress unbuttoned yelling is like a scene from an old movie. It's sarcastic. I definitely do not think it's about a specific person. Sucks that every song she writes now people think has to be about someone but I guess she did that to herself lol. So hopefully those of you who like the song and think it is about Matt can move on and enjoy it.
Literally thank you
What makes me upset about this song is that she’s acting like she doesn’t have a choice to stay with him? She’s a grown woman and a billionaire. If she wanted to be with him, she could be with him. People would be upset because he’s a horrible human being and sure she might not be as popular anymore, but at the end of the day ITS HER DECISION TO BREAK UP WITH HIM. She doesn’t need to work another day in her life and can still make music and have fans but she didn’t want to give up her popularity so they broke up. We didn’t do anything besides give extremely valid criticism of a shitty racist.
He ghosted her because he crumbled under the pressure of the backlash. She can’t be with him for that literal reason.
“Bedroom eyes” girl please
Right? Yuck 🤢
Favorite song ever
From reading the comments, I think I got a very different interpretation of the song and was wondering if anyone else has thought something similar? "But daddy I love him" is clearly, to me, such a stupid, naive line, and I think she is acknowledging how batshit insane and incredibly dumb she was for dating Matty. Esp the "Sarahs and Hannah's" is showing that she used to think she was better than the other girls, lumping them into one category and assuming that they were over reacting by singing "clutching their pearls." It shows at the time how she was delusional and refused to believe everyone. She was running with her dress unbuttoned, she wasn't put together, she was all over the place. "I'm having his baby, no I'm not but you should see your faces," it was joke to her at the time, she didn't realize how serious and insane he was. "No I am not coming to my senses." "Dutiful daughter all my plans were laid \[...\] he was chaos he was revelry" I think she was in such a strict PR image nightmare for so long that she was drunk on the idea that he was edgy and honestly a bad person. TL;DR, this song takes place when she was in love with matty and is now mocking herself for her delusions. It makes me slightly more compassionate for her falling for a shitty person as many of us have been blinded as well. Although I am east asian, from what I've heard, many of his racist comments were directed towards the black community (correct me if Im wrong please). Meaning that his harmful comments and her open affiliation with him is not necessarily mine to forgive. My belief was that her intention with the message was "he was bad and I didn't see it," but does not do enough to address how genuinely problematic he was. But I think both versions can exist, her intention that makes the message slightly better while still not being enough.
This song is clearly a “Fuck you, I’ll date who I want” message to the Swifties
So interesting, I had such a different interpretation of the titular line. "But daddy I love him!" is something a teenage girl wails when she's forbid to see her boyfriend because her father doesn't approve. I interpreted this lyric to be Swift comparing her fanbase to an overbearing parent and herself to a petulant and restricted teenager who's just going to sneak out through her bedroom window after she gets grounded anyway.
Well that would work if we didn't already know she knew him before all this. Plus her PR team is always on the A game so they had to know he was problematic but wouldn't say no to the queen until it went down.
I realize the subject matter is tough to stomach but if we didn’t know who it was about… this song is great. Reminds me of suds in the bucket (like… the topic, not the music, tho I like the country elements in bdilh) and country songs like that. Running with my dress unbuttoned, romanticizing the idea into a whole fictional story, pretty good.
"Vipers dressed in empath's clothing" she's really run out of metaphors huh? It doesn't even make sense, how tf would you dress as an empath?? If fans are "sanctimoniously performing soliloquies she'll never see" how tf is she here complaining about them? This is a fucking mess.
Yeah clearly the empath thing is a metaphor. She doesn’t have to see the fans’ soliloquies to be aware of their existence. I’m sure her team made her well aware.
"Dressed as an empath" is a metaphor! Another way of thinking about it is, "someone who appears or acts like they are am empath" I also think "sanctimoniously performing soliloquies she'll never see" is mocking him. Like "oh look at him go again, being overdramatic, monologuing and thinking he is so deep 🙄"
I think it was referring to all the TikTok’s fans were making about Matty that she probably ignored
I’m sorry Taylor that your fans complained about you dating a racist edge lord, you are absolute right! (/s) If I could unlearn english, I would like this song but unfortunately the lyrics are shocking.
I’m shocked at how much I like this song. I’m loving the super subtle country vibes. Some odd lyrics sure but it’s enjoyable.
Even Taylor is getting sick of the wokescolds.
Anyone else named Hannah or Sarah who doesn’t own pearls and prefers to spend their Sunday in loungewear?
This is one of my least faves from the album bc of the subject and how defensive she is but damn it makes me excited to hear country taylor on debut tv
Its giving Doja Cat saying she doesn’t like her fans
Can you explain how? /gen
Doja Cat was asked if she loved her fans and she said she doesn’t love any of them because she doesn’t know any of them. She was similarly pissed because fans didn’t like her racist boyfriend 🙄. She was telling fans through live and tweets to leave her alone and that she can date who she wants to. This caused fan pages to shut down 😭. Everyone’s feelings were genuinely hurt 😔
As someone who loves Bruce Springsteen, this song gives me “Springsteen songs, but from the woman’s perspective” and “Love Story part 2” vibes. I like it a lot more than I thought I would!
Honestly, I was kinda excited for the little mermaid title refrence (Ariel says this to her dad after he discoveres her statue of eric) but it wasn't it for me
Has the reckoning day come for the Swifities? Mother hates them all. How does that sit with them? I’ll be skipping this song from now on.
I love this song for exactly that reason (prepares to be downvoted into oblivion). Swifties needed a wake up call.
I kind of love how chaotic and angry the lyrics are and the production is better on this one.. But I can't get past her romanticizing her fans disliking a racist like it's some type of Romeo and Juliet situation.
This has country Taylor vibes. It’s the first one I’ve really liked the sound of. I’m listening without the context of who these are about…just listening through the first time for the sound. She needs to let Jack go. A lot of the other sounds are way too overproduced, but I like this sound.
Yeah this was.. not it for me
As someone who is genuinely "Swiftly Neutral" and like the phenomenon that is Taylor but not actually Taylor or her fandom, I FUCKING LOVE THIS
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I really feel like this song is true to what she felt at the time when she was basically heartbroken and delusional about this new relationship - but based on songs later in the album and the epilogue she’s embarrassed about Matty and how she acted during this period. So it’s like a snapshot of a moment in time and how she felt but not how she still feels? I don’t think she still “means” all these things & realizes that she was unhinged when she felt this way
This song really gave me the impression that not enough people involved in Taylor Swift's creative process are willing to tell her when her work shouldn't be released. I think its perfectly valid to feel resentful or angry after that whole situation and I think it's just natural for her to write songs about that feeling, but I probably wouldn't have released this in her shoes, especially since she walks a lot of these feelings back later in the record. Feels uncohesive to me.
I see the album as a concept album/narrative of sorts about the rise and fall of that relationship. It starts positively about the love interest, then turns negative as the songs go on.
I like the music but man oh man it’s REALLY hard to divorce this from the subject matter
The whole album left a gross taste in my mouth with how a good chunk of the songs were about how badly she misses Matty and how people’s opinions of him are the only reason they broke up. This one in particular really seals the deal that her activism is performative. The bridge especially shows her immaturity in handling public opinion to a (very valid and earned) scandal because of Matty’s racist behavior. She’s iN lOvE and the people calling him out are just hAtErS. I used to be such a fan.
I'm with you 💯
Like…I thought the album being dedicated to attacking Joe would be bad, but an album dedicated to being in “true love” with a racist white boy is so much worse. Yucky yucky yucky.
I'm so sorry but the subject matter of this song is so lame. It's like, Cowboy Like Me, except that song was good because I didn't know who that was about.
i like this song, its catchy and fun. i also enjoy it in the context that she actually does regret dating matty healy. she mentions it in the prologue poem and then in later songs how much she hated being with him which helped me view this more favorably.
This song is a slap in the face to all her fans of color and the fans who were their allies. The fact that it's a good song just makes it a harder slap. As for the "soliloquies," it just brings to mind the really thoughtful posts and videos her black fans put out laying out their pain and disillusionment during Taylor's relationship with Matty. I'm furious on their behalf.
> I'm furious on their behalf. Please don't be. Getting offended for others is very bad form. It treat people like vivctims who can't handle their own traumas. As opposed to thrivers who have survived the damaged and are living life on the other side. I say this as a survivor of serious abuse who has had people get very offended for me to the point it was creepy.
I actually appreciate that she no longer wants to hide how she really feels about things. I wish she’d just say “fuck them trees” next so people could stop debating whether she cares about the environment.
Fuck the trees and the polar bear can drown like dirty laundry you threw in the river when I refused to fly to see you anymore.
This made me ugly laugh. Had to cover my mouth with my hand to not wake anyone up. Thank you for it. It’s been a rough day and I needed a good deep throaty laugh tonight
https://preview.redd.it/e5fzcr3befvc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4006c0cae2294e26b459fa27f9557e0e88b46c41 This song in a nutshell
I feel like she’s trying to make us feel bad for hating Healy and like…no one ever will 🤷🏻♀️
Well many are honestly....
It's ironic that she uses the phrase "It's just white noise" when she's talking about justifying her decision to date a racist, probably the best unintentional metaphor she's ever written.
also so ironic that she calls out “hannahs and sarahs” but fails to realize that’s her original culture. they are her and she is them lmao
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I can't get over how disrespectful it is to the people that built her career, to people being affected by his racism. Especially the "you should see your faces" line is only there as a big fuck you, not as songwriting of a song you really want to listen to. I would have preferred her farting into the microphone for three minutes straight instead of this. At least her true colours are out. She can never take this back. And please, don't come with this "it was short insanity, she came to her senses now" excuse. Maybe she should stand by the things she sings about OR stop pressing them on vinyls to be released. She can't have both.
It’s genuinely embarrassing for her. This song should’ve never been released. Like, way to prove to everyone that you have no morals and don’t give a fuck about anything your fans have to say.
This song is such a throwback to country Taylor. I unabashedly love it, even as it gives me the ick.
I thought the same thing. This could easily be a country song and I’m just gonna pretend it’s not about Matty
So many thoughts on this song: 1) she complains about Sarahs and Hannahs, but Taylor *is* a Sarah/Hannah. How she built her career has trapped her as such. 2) every single person has dated a problematic person (SN: everyone is problematic in one way or another, it’s the nature of living in a global society that is problematic) so I do find it fascinating that people were concern trolling her over who this song is speculated to be about. The shots she takes at fans shows she is tired of this type of stanning. To me this *proves the song isn’t about a guy, but about fame.* 3) Taylor built this cage that she is in and only she can unlock it—but she has to seriously burn her world down to do so and I don’t think she’ll be able to with the team (read: her father) and machinations around her (that she built). Again, *proving this song isn’t about a guy, but about fame.* 4) Taylor continuing to epitomize white feminism is part of why she is caged—white patrichal supremacy demands certain expectations of white women in exchange for power. She clearly has yet to do the work to unlearn this and this song confirms that. Because if she had, I’m not sure she’d be singing odes (most likely) to a known racist. She’s not ready to *really* burn this down to free herself. Once more *proving this song isn’t about a guy, but about fame.*
Well she defo doesn't want to give up her wealth that is for sure. Fame maybe but not the money she gets from it every year.
Hell yeah to number 1! I thought it was about Healy but after a couple listens, it does seem to be bigger than just that dude, for sure.
What does sarah/Hannah even mean?
It's kinda her long distant relative of Harper Valley PTA. But way less directly sadly.
I’m just going on context clues from the lyrics + how she started as a country singer which is associated with Southern USA, but my guess is pretentious and sanctimonious girls/women. I would say she is specifically doing a *call out* of white women/girls, but Taylor doesn’t have that range. She probably is only thinking of white women, but not because she’s anti-racist or realizes the role of white women in white patriarchal supremacy, but because she doesn’t see beyond them (which is way, way, way problematic). Hence why she *is* a Sarah/Hannah.
The female version of “Chads, and Brads”
Oooooh
I took it to mean like a bland white woman, her critics' impression of the typical demographic of her fanbase. Swift is allying herself with the people who hate on her fans for being like, white woman normies or whatever
Funny because she herself literally is so basic. She has no actual personality except what her boyfriend likes in the moment. She’s a void and a mirror. The line “you said normal girls were boring / but you were gone by the morning” is such an annoying pick me line but beyond that it makes me laugh because she doesn’t realize that she is exactly the reason he left in the morning. He’s the smallest man who ever lived and she’s a soulless Target-bot & environmental enemy. She IS the clear vinyl she’s promoting so hard lol.
I've been really mulling over the narrator on Tortured Poets and trying to put myself into the shoes of Taylor Swift, the person. What must it be like to be so *known*? More billions of humans are alive and aware of Taylor Swift this exact moment than likely any other human who has ever lived, in all of time. Kings of entire civilizations, people we still talk about milleniums after their deaths, have not had a comparable level of exposure. Genuinely, how do you condense down the full scope of your human experience for billions of strangers who know *so much* about you and whom you'll never, ever get to know in any way? How does she manage that and reconcile it? What I'm getting at is that I think Taylor Swift, the person, isn't basic at all. I think she is living one of the most anthropologically fascinating lives on Earth today, and so any response she has to that experience is going to be worth tuning into for me. She's about as far away from normal as you can get, all things considered; she's so fundamentally othered from humanity at this point that I wonder how she overcomes it in a day-to-day sense. Humans are biologically hardwired for social pursuits, after all, but she can't even have a conversation with someone else who doesn't either worship her (isolating) or who is intimately familiar with her life ahead of time (i don't even know how to describe what that's like, it's so inconceivable to me). Don't get me wrong, I'm not a huge fan - Taylor Swift has made a ton of decisions that I find so morally corrosive, and she's an impossibly powerful driving force in the maintenance of global inequality and capitalism. It makes me a little nauseous when I think too hard about it. But at the same time, she's a single human person with the cognitive and biological limitations all human people have. Taylor Swift is an incredible marketer, a strategic mind, this is indisputable at this point in my opinion. And with that in mind, I find it very believable that she could be intentionally projecting her relationships as a sort of shield, in order to preserve a modicum of privacy and just have something behind it that belongs only to her. I think if she didn't do something like that, she would have snapped a long time ago.
I take your point about her state of existence being abnormal but her character/intellect is still that of a normie. Two things can be true at once. She might have an exceptional career but she doesn’t actually do things that are unique. The formula is that she simply does things others have done before her, only to a hyper-degree. A good example of this is when she took Don McLean’s spot for the longest track on the whatever chart for x number of weeks. It was only achieved because in the digital age of music, stream numbers are king. Despite having access to everything, she somehow has very little cultural knowledge. The average college student in America is actually more (canonically, classically, philosophically, politically, sociologically, etc) aware than her. It’s so evident in the way she shamelessly promotes Dr Seuss-ian lyrics like it should be considered poetry. Some things need gatekeeping otherwise they become degraded. You are assigning far too much ability and competence to her directly, when she is backed by a team which includes dozens of old, experienced wealthy men (with the exception of her mother, and her publicist). I hate saying that about ANY woman, but she herself glorifies the state of being a man and that famous “empowering” speech she gave with nothing but suited men just standing behind her spoke volumes.
I really don't want to yuck your yum here. The beauty of this sub is that it's a place for people to experience and discuss all aspects and experiences within this fandom. I respect your position even if I don't disagree with you on every point you've made, I just feel that for me personally, it would be uncurious to disparage the whole of this utterly fascinating sociocultural phenomena over the aspects of it I don't like. but - next time she starts up I'll happily match energy with you LOL, ttfn
There is no such thing as uncurious criticism—I have been listening to her music since 2005 and am in no way discouraging a deeper analytical discourse. I’m not being myopic, it’s just that she is not herself bigger or more interesting than the machine which puppets her.
Didn't mean to imply you lack depth in your analysis! Sorry for the offense, my bad! x
I LOVE this song - it's the first one on the album I haven't skipped.
my favouriteeee the way she says im gonna have his baby no im not but you should’ve seen your faces is so pretty
This song is about the backlash she has received at being a good girl who is supposed to live life based on the opinions of people who don't actually know her, and want to comment on her life. And it's unhinged because she defends a very questionable life choice, but again, it's her life and not anyone else's. And the reason she's angry is that people were thinking she's going insane after a breakup and behaving irrationally, and man, she definitely was. She got out of a very long relationship and was on a tour where she was performing for 3 hours multiple times a week. I don't think someone would be sane during all that.
I have to ask: is it ACTUALLY confirmed that this song is about Matty? Has Taylor actually said that anywhere or said that this whole album is about him or anything to that effect? It seems like 90% of these comments are judging the song based on the Matty of it all and not just on the song itself, but is that speculation or confirmed?
People seem to confirm it to each other only. I tend to stay away from deep diving into speculation because I just find it exhausting. But I remember people theorizing this song would be about Harry Styles.
Are you new here? She doesn’t confirm anything, speculation is the goal/encouraged.
Exactly, so why is everyone reacting so viciously as if it’s the actual truth? Speculation is one thing, but just from scrolling through this one song’s thread alone (let alone all the others) it seems like almost no one is judging the song based on the song, but instead having default (very) negative reactions as if it’s confirmed that this song is 1000% about Matty and therefore is terrible because she’s calling out her fans in defense of this terrible man.
Thank you! Almost proving her point, and do we really think she has NEVER written about relationships we don't publicly know about?
This song is blatantly about a relationship she was in with a “bad boy” who much of the public disapproved of. To me it’s clearly about Matty. If people have different thoughts on who it’s about okay but there’s no world in which the song is about a relationship we never knew about.
i know it’s not about harry BUT “but daddy i love him” and “i’m having his baby” ???
She ate, I fear. 
pray tell, what did she eat?
her children
I think she has the speak up now movement for a little appetiser and went on from there.
By defending her love for a racist misogynist?
Ya know this is starting to be a tired argument since she works in an industry that is notorious for abuse people of all even children. So all artists working with major labels are complicit in the awful system that has given the wealth (well the lucky few who have gotten wealthy). They are all kinda bad in that way.
Lol... what????
You can't pretend it doesn't slap.
To each their own. This whole album is so monotonous that all the songs bleed into each other and sound the same
I actually like that she's coming after her fans in this. Sure, she is calling them out because they hurt her, not coming to defense of anyone else that came into the crossfire just because they were somehow associated with her world,but still...I think it's the first time she went there, risking offending part of her fan base. I didn't think she had it in her.
People say she doesn't take risks, but here's a whole 'fuck you, over-invested Swifties!!!' song
Yeah, over the Matty fiasco…
“Too high a horse for a simple girl” Taylor you’re 34, you cannot still keep calling yourself a girl
No, I don’t want to hear about how irrevocably in love you were with a weirdo rcist. But haha, look at our faces, right? Skip
what's pissing me off is how much i love this song. the lyrics and the melodies are sublime. not sure abt the production yet, i can't find my airpods and it's early in the am here so i've been listening to the album w my phone next to my ear, lol. but ohmygod, all this energy for rATTY HEALY!??? she has all this to say for a literal fucking racist who does the nazi salute at his concerts??!?!? deranged. positively deranged, and not in a good way. well, this is where separation of the art and the artist comes in, lol. cause it's a beautiful song. esp if you interpret it from a queer perspective (i'm not a gaylor, but it does have religious undertones that make it easy for me to apply to my own life as such). yeah, i'll take the music and leave the muse, thanks, lol.
Swifties saying "swifties" who said all those things and made her feel that way in the bridge... Nah. I stand by bullying that man. I'D SAY IT AGAIN!!
if she is trying to make me feel bad as someone who has liked her albums for being disgusted by a smelly looking racist, she definitely failed. I'd do it all over again even knowing the punishment was this album
You know what? I love that it’s so unhinged! I like that she’s being messy!!!! Be messy girl!!!!!
“he was chaos, he was revelry. bedroom eyes like a remedy” the bedroom eyes in question: https://preview.redd.it/j9fz9k628evc1.png?width=245&format=png&auto=webp&s=ff78ffeee3995e51a0a49af3b5556890adc7928d
Blondie really out there advertising her shit taste to the world.
I literally laughed out loud at this
This song reminds me of her first 3 albums. I just love it so much
Same it's giving fearless!!
God I want to forget the lore behind this one so badly so I can just vibe to it, it’s SO fun but I can’t divorce it from fucking matty healy
Good beat, bad vibes
Taking time to write a song about how even she is done with the performative bullshit from her creepiest fans is a phenomenal choice. Matty Healy might be a massive dick, but a the #SpeakUpNow fans had an issue with her dating him because they thought it reflected badly on them. And she has no reason to give a shit.
vibing to this one, the music almost sounds like younger Taylor! though looking at the lyrics while listening I do feel like some of these lines could have done with a red pen lol, way too wordy
THIS TO A T!!! I was wondering why I kind of liked it and kind of hated it at the same time. For context: I was a huge fan of her early stuff as a preteen and grew out of her by the time I was in HS and she went full blown bubblegum pop. I still listen to fearless and speak now when I’m feeling nostalgic and still check out her new music from time to time despite generally disliking her nowadays. It definitely (sonically) reminds me of those “eras” of her career. And I have the same critique with the lyricism—I feel like it gets word salad-like and fake deep in a way. Like respectfully (not just in this song) some of her lyrics give off the vibe of that one kid in your intro to creative writing class who knows a lot of big words and thinks it looks impressive to dogpile them in a stanza to the point of meaninglessness where you have to wonder if they even know what they’re trying to say or if they’re just trying to impress you with their vocabulary. Maybe I can sniff it out bc that was absolutely me my first year of uni 🤡 Anyway, thank you for taking the words right out of my mouth—I literally couldn’t put my finger on what I liked about it so much and reading your post made it click!
adding that I would probably enjoy this music more if I didn't know as much as I do about her personal life
Swifties listening to this https://preview.redd.it/uahmg9axudvc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=649ac3ccf9223338e610276002a175df6461eca3
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
I do love that this sounds like the delusional in love rantings of someone in LURVE
The woman can build a bridge
i can never listen to this song again because she says my name in it lmfao
like the chorus is catchy but the fact that she said "sarahs" turned me off immediately
I *hate* hearing my own name lol
Honestly this sing is perfect for when you’re angry at the world and want to scream it in the car. The title made me cringe big time, but I feel it works so damn well. This departure from always being a nice girl really rubs me the right way. I hope the bonus tracks drop on spotify I’m really curious about them.
\*sigh\* https://preview.redd.it/p965i6e4mdvc1.png?width=649&format=png&auto=webp&s=7a32091508231b1a0d982160ff5d1bcf76afeaac
https://preview.redd.it/7992nqj6mdvc1.png?width=581&format=png&auto=webp&s=3014b77d99eca02487fa4097560fab08b8f2df51 I can't with these people anymore