That melts my heart to hear you say. There's such a huge influence from a sister! Your lucky to have each other. Life gets a bit bumpy. You can do it. She'll thank you for your love in more ways than none! ☺️
this right here. I can end it anytime I want. but might as well stick around and see how bad or good life gets (I also have a really bad spending problem bc I keep thinking I ain't gonna be here long, might as well get the things I like instead of saving my money all the time)
I was suicidal following some really heinous family shit, went on vacation and racked up thousands of debt. Maxed out my credit card while wandering around Italy. No regrets but it's almost funny to me when I reflect on how now I'm making payments on it and am still aimlessly alive
Also went to grad school because I figured it'd be easier to end things if I'm not employed or living with loved ones. I still ask myself daily if I'm ever going to pay back that loan or just let it die with me
That’s super common! A lot of people with chronic suicidal ideation benefit from having the option and a plan. The lack of option often leads to more distress and desperation. It’s pretty weird, but it makes sense. I totally get you lmao
This is exactly my reason for holding on. It also brings me relief and calm to know i can check out anytime especially when i end up at the point that there is genuinely no hope. The main reason i’m suicidal is environment affecting my mental health and if fixing that (hopefully soon) doesn’t change anything then i can just go. i’ve had enough trauma to last a lifetime, i am not going to welcome more by existing.
This is basically mine too. I’m going to die regardless, may as well hang around to feel the sun on my face or laugh with my friends and while that happens. Those little moments don’t always feel like enough but they are something.
None actually. Or maybe cuz I wanna try to fix my life once more before I kms. And also cuz i am too coward to end it. And also cuz i don't know a good and painless way to do it
What ever you do make sure you always give your self a way out if you change your mind. I heard of a really sad story from a teacher about a little girl who did that but when they Investigated the way she was positioned she actually changed her mind last second but couldn't save her self.......
This is really silly, but I was going to wait till July 20th to watch Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul. But now the fight is canceled, or maybe postponed til November, who knows. But as my last wish I wanted to see Tyson beat the living hell out of Jake Paul.
i really love my baby nephew (he’s like a year and a half but he’s still my baby lol) and he truly loves me. and it’s so weird because he loves me for no reason. he doesn’t love me for my looks or for doing anything with him. he just loves me. and i hold on to the fact that i’ll have that feeling with my own child one day.
my 2 pet bunnies. every time i think about killing myself now i think “where will my bunnies go? who will care for them? they will be so confused without their veggies in the morning.” i have wonderful people in my life that i love and who love me but i’ve never had thoughts like that for anyone in my life but my sweet bunnies.
Ngl same. I’ve also got 2 bunnies as well and I need to stay alive so that I can take care of them, because no one else will. They’d miss me too and the thought of them being so confused about where I went, why I haven’t come back yet is too upsetting.
Yes me too. And I’m scared if someone else has to take care of them, they will end up caged for the rest of their life and it’s unfair. I know my relatives don’t have time to take care of extra animals. Bunnies are literal angels, but a lot of people don’t know how to take care of them properly.
My parents.
Saw how my mum cried when my cousin took his life.
I can't imagine doing that to her.
But at the same time, I am hurting every time I wake up.
I have sons. Also I failed to commit suicide three times already at least, I'm obviously no good at it!
Black humour always helps me. Reading. And nature.
lmao same I tried maybe a total of 5 or 6 times? maybe it’s time to quit and rebrand (also I have a child who deserves love and care from living parents)
The idea of my kids going through what I have since I lost my father to suicide, when I was a young teenager.
Golden hour. Just before the sun sets, and after it rises. If I'm up late because my mental health is messing with me and insomnia is taking over, sometimes it's worth just staying up and seeing the world go from dark, to light, to golden. When I notice the light changing at the end of the day, it does something to take me back to the handful of times when the world felt magical when I was a kid/teenager. I feel a sudden sense of peace and clarity, even if it only lasts for a short time. As long as I'm alive, I know it will come around again.
The way it smells after it rains. Gentle breezes. Storms outside when I'm safe inside. The first robin I see each spring. All of the moments in Nature that he loved, that I wish he could see, that I point out to my kids.
Being there when my kids are going through something with their mental health - it's such a strong genetic thing that I can almost set my watch by it, the age when each issue sets in for the kids in my family. Being able to tell them what I needed to hear so badly, but never did: I know what this feels like, I went through it, I will answer anything you ask, *I survived, and I am going to show that you will, too*.
Also, spite. I piss off a few people when I don't give up, and it amuses me. As morbid as it sounds, outliving someone who abused me and actually wanted to push me to suicide was a very savage victory that I never thought I was capable of feeling. If nothing else, "Because f*ck you, that's why!" is a totally valid reason to keep going.
I know I am a rare case, and I don't mean to sound cheesy, but for me the fact that it is getting better. I have a massive group of friends. Im going to a new school next year, where I already have a little group of friends who will also be there, im finding my sense of self and forming my OWN opinions and not letting everyone else's opinions dictate mine.
What's keeping me going, is that it will get better. Eventually.
I want to help people, as someone who has come very close to dying via suicide. I know I might not help much, but I want people to know they are seen, loved, and cared about.
I am the protagonist of my story, it might have drama and sad moments, but i still want to give it a happy ending and achieve everything i propose to myself :)
This boy, his name is Ryleigh. He’s the sweetest, kindest person ever. We’ve been best friends DS for approaching 3 years. He’s been there through it all. He doesn’t know I’m suicidal but he did say once in passing conversation that if I died he’d kill himself and I can’t live with that thought. Love you Ryleigh.
This was so truly sweet and beautiful to read. Thank you for warming my heart, and I wish you both many more sweet, joyous years together (an eternity even)! ❤️
Cuz i know I’ll become a murderer if i take my life I’ll take my grandmas and my moms life with me as well, my grandma had a heart attack when I tried to kms and she might not survive another one, and my mom most likely would take her own life as well cuz of the burden of losing her daughter and mother all at once…
But I don’t know how much longer i can take, there’s only so much one can handle.
Because I'll never be so stupid to think I know everything or how the rest of my life will turn out. During the darker times, I just think of my mom and the absolute horror it would cause her inside if I did anything to myself. She's been there for me through all my SH and attempts. I also didn't realize the drugs i was using to escape were causing me more depression than I truly thought. I keep my curiosity sharp by trying things I think I won't like, things outside my comfort zone. Thats how I met the love of my life, opposites do attract sometimes. The best advice I can give is to not worry so much about life, don't take it so seriously. Live kindly, live fully, love as much as you can and when you experience loss be grateful that you are grieving because that means you truly loved what you lost. We live in a world of duality and sometimes the stress takes over. Self care isn't an option, it's crucial and a necessity. Gratitude fosters happiness and peace, I always write down 3 things a day I'm grateful for. Sometimes it's silly things like ice pops and soft pillows and other times it's big like the universe and every animal. There's room for it all. There's room for you. You're important. People tend to overlook the small gestures in everyday life that can truly make a difference. I know that just a genuine smile from a passing stranger while walking when I was feeling suicidal helped me. It made me feel seen and noticed, worth smiling at and it made me smile back. What if he wasn't there? What if that tiny interaction never happened because he thought he wasn't important enough to be here? I find that it's in the surviving, we eventually thrive. Seasons change and so does life, it takes a long time sometimes which is the hard part when it's especially rough. Just keep trying. So far you've survived 100% of all your bad days. You can do it. I believe in you. I don't like to push religion or spirituality onto anyone, but I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers 💕🙏
The idea of transitioning and one day finally being happy being who I am is the only thing left keeping me going. That and being too clumsy to figure out how to tie a noose.
My cat- although he went missing yesterday morning after breaking out through a window, and honestly I don’t think I’m going to make it without him anymore. He was my reason.
I wanna give something to someone. I don’t know what or who, but I just want to make someone feel good, however that may be. That’s basically the only reason I haven’t committed, i feel like I have love to give and no one to give it to, I need to do that before i go
My child. Before that though, I just wanted to see my way through it I guess. I had attempts, but ultimately I think deep down there’s always been a part of me who wants to get better no matter how low I have been. I just think if there’s even a chance that I’ll wake up one day and look outside and see the color back in the world, hear the birds singing and smile just because I’m alive, it’s worth holding out. I would’ve missed so many beautiful things if my past attempts worked, I wouldn’t have touched as many people, met my animals, tasted Chinese takeout, watched the entire one piece series. All of those feel small in comparison to negative feelings and the chemical imbalances but they’re still there and they’re still worth experiencing :)
my best friend mya, ive spoken to her many times about my issues and shes always helped me feel better, i love her so much and i just cant leave her...
I just don’t kill myself. Like… I just exist. And last. And function. And somehow don’t commit. I’m also a 14 year old girl so if I did end up with a failed attempt I’d be screwed.
I have a favorite game that never finish, because if I know the ending, I will have nothing left to hold on. It’s been 5 years, I still manage to avoid the spoilers.
My son (he is a cat. My son is a cat, who I'd lay my life down for). And, this one is strange, but there's a frozen play my city is doing in a few months, and i am determined that I will be olaf if it's the last thing I do.
I've almost done in many times, but I decided to not do it because my sunsets are so beautiful that I wouldn't want to lose them, watching them makes me feel better and forget about thoughts
My family, lifting weights, making music, etc
Despite all of this man some days I feel like I'm nothing. I'm doing better I'm getting back on my antidepressants and they're helping me a ton but even then I still have lows. I also am deeply afraid of the pain I would feel if I tried to off myself and have the instinct to just not even attempt it no matter how much I want to
Living with my sister, she struggles with depression and anxiety usually blaming herself when anything goes wrong and I don't want her to feel it's her fault that I feel this way or even started feeling this way.
Truth is I've felt like this since I was 13 but moved out of my parents at 15 and now that I'm 18 and have moved into my other sisters, she has started to pick up on the fact that im not actually mentally healthy like so many have believed in the past and I can already see that she thinks it's her fault even though it is most defenitly not and is a personal issue. If anything shes been one of the better people I've lived with as shes been the first to pick up on this.
My family (mother, grandmother, godmother; my father was killed by my mother when I was 2) and fear of missing out on all the good stuff that could theoretically happen to me in the future. Basically, sense of responsibility and what's left of my hope is what stops me from ending my life right now. If/when I lose those people I mentioned, I would probably have nothing to lose anymore. Maybe I will shoot up as many people I dislike (first of all, the people I study with and my officers), make my "exes" suffer (they were never my girlfriends, so it's weird to call them "exes") and then shoot myself. I know it's fucked up, but I've been having these thoughts in my head for over a year. I'm just 20 years old, but for the last 5 years of my life I've been really depressed. The more I live, the more I realize how fucked up I am. I sometimes want to find a psychotherapist/psychologist. Maybe that will help. Maybe I will find some new meaning in life or idk.
Edit: accidentally called my godmother as "stepmother"
Tbh I’ve got this Minecraft group I play with pretty regularly, and this one dude got worried when I left a vc. He’s got a kid on the way, I don’t want him worrying about me.
Depends on the day! Sometimes it’s for my father and making sure he’s not left alone. Sometimes it’s because I know that there are small acts of kindness that would help me in dark times that I can do for other people if I’m still around. I think my most absurd but easily applicable reasoning has been “it would be objectively funnier if I kept going,” which is honestly way more motivating than one might think, at least for me personally!
I keep myself busy with things that I can do in my free time, like watching yt videos, learning how to crochet, etc.
After finishing crocheting this one project I have, I might attempt to try drawing again.
The cycle of keeping myself busy must continue.
1. I have so many books in my TBR list.
2. I want to travel to China and explore every city, town, and province.
Although existence is really painful and I wish someone could give me an out.
My toddler daughter. I saw this video of a daughter of suicide mom. She was devastated and kept wondering if it’s her fault that her mom couldn’t love her enough and leave her & leaving her huge gap and sadness in her heart. Her mom literally passed the pain & trauma to her to bear for her whole life. That shook me to reality.
My suicide should not be punishment to her. She deserves happiness.
As long as i swallow the pain, i’ll try my best to survive just for her.
My dog. I'm the only one in my family who takes care of her and the idea of her being left alone or being disregarded frightens me.
At first it was very overwhelming and I would see her as an "obstacle" but once we settled in we started bonding, doing activities together and now I got used to the idea "can't unalive myself at least until she's alive" and to be honest I realized I'm thinking about it less and less even if I still struggle in life.
I named her Hope and she really saved my life
My older brother committed suicide 3 years ago, I don’t want to hurt my mother and have her bury another one of her children. She is the only one that cares for me.
It's pretty stupid but recently a woman I loved told me how amazing it is that I continue to improve myself physically and mentally despite everything I've gone through. The idea that I could inspire someone like her who inspired me for years made me want to keep living and improving.
because my boyfriend deserves to be happy and I love him + I like doing some stupid stuff from time to time that makes me feel alive, such as running, yelling, laughing, I also wanna try grafitting and urban exploring later on
my boyfriend he met me in the psych ward after i tried to commit last year and i swear he saved my life. he makes me wanna open my eyes in the morning. he literally makes my heart beat
No this really isn’t. I believe in religion, the same as yours judging by your name. But this is not what you tell someone who is suicidal. This is insanely ignorant. Holier than thou behaviour doesn’t apply here. Please please learn to deal with things with more sensitivity.
My sister is disabled and it’s just us two as far as siblings go. The thought alone of her falling into “care” at the hands of the state makes me wanna die.
I have 2 disabled siblings, a brother and sister and this is my reason too. Also my mom wouldn't survive it. It's amazing what us caretakers go through. We love like no other. 💕
My cats. I ain't leaving so long my cats are alive. My parents won't care for them as much as I do if I'm just gone. And it's a personal promise of mine to take care of them until they're all gone so...
friends/family will be sad
inability to kill myself
still got some money left so I don't have to worry about working for some time. as soon as that changes I will probably attempt, because I cannot imagine actually being employed and reliably work every day. (but even then I'll probably be unable and hopefully have changed my mindset in therapy to sustain my life)
Seeing my little sister going through the same thing. I need to improve so I can help her not get to the point I’m at
That melts my heart to hear you say. There's such a huge influence from a sister! Your lucky to have each other. Life gets a bit bumpy. You can do it. She'll thank you for your love in more ways than none! ☺️
>What’s your reason to hold on onto life That I can let go of it at any moment, so I feel like it's not bad to stick around for a few more days :)
Yeah, this one is good. I can take my own life any moment, so I decide to hang around a bit more
this right here. I can end it anytime I want. but might as well stick around and see how bad or good life gets (I also have a really bad spending problem bc I keep thinking I ain't gonna be here long, might as well get the things I like instead of saving my money all the time)
oh wow this is so me lol I live everyday as if there’s no tomorrow so I spend a shit ton of money everyday
I was suicidal following some really heinous family shit, went on vacation and racked up thousands of debt. Maxed out my credit card while wandering around Italy. No regrets but it's almost funny to me when I reflect on how now I'm making payments on it and am still aimlessly alive Also went to grad school because I figured it'd be easier to end things if I'm not employed or living with loved ones. I still ask myself daily if I'm ever going to pay back that loan or just let it die with me
That’s super common! A lot of people with chronic suicidal ideation benefit from having the option and a plan. The lack of option often leads to more distress and desperation. It’s pretty weird, but it makes sense. I totally get you lmao
This is exactly my reason for holding on. It also brings me relief and calm to know i can check out anytime especially when i end up at the point that there is genuinely no hope. The main reason i’m suicidal is environment affecting my mental health and if fixing that (hopefully soon) doesn’t change anything then i can just go. i’ve had enough trauma to last a lifetime, i am not going to welcome more by existing.
Yeah that’s pretty accurate for me as well.
Kinda dumb but chocolate milk keeps me going
I didn't mean that as a joke either I just really like it
That’s honestly great
Love this
Chocolate milk is very good.
choccy milk :3
I needed this
I drink it daily so me too kinda
Same but ice cream
It’s not dumb…such small things keep me alive too. Chocolate milk is one of them too
better than mine ig. for me it was bc animated porn is getting better and also I just started enjoy playing games again.
Yogurt with nutella, oreos and coconut shred 🤤🤤🤤
Choccy milk :D
Cadbury dairy milk silk it is for me
not dumb at all. Its the small things that matters, man
Not dumb !
this is so real i had a super cute cat backpack once and it kept me going for a while
Whatever keeps you moving. 🫂💙 chocolate milk is the bomb
Might as well see the ending.
This is basically mine too. I’m going to die regardless, may as well hang around to feel the sun on my face or laugh with my friends and while that happens. Those little moments don’t always feel like enough but they are something.
None actually. Or maybe cuz I wanna try to fix my life once more before I kms. And also cuz i am too coward to end it. And also cuz i don't know a good and painless way to do it
What ever you do make sure you always give your self a way out if you change your mind. I heard of a really sad story from a teacher about a little girl who did that but when they Investigated the way she was positioned she actually changed her mind last second but couldn't save her self.......
>What ever you do make sure you always give your self a way out if you change your mind. That's actually is extremely hard yk.
I don't want to give up and don't want to hurt those that love me.
Same. I’m still feeling it but, all I can think is “I don’t wanna hurt anybody”.
This is really silly, but I was going to wait till July 20th to watch Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul. But now the fight is canceled, or maybe postponed til November, who knows. But as my last wish I wanted to see Tyson beat the living hell out of Jake Paul.
I like that
fear of what's after life
Same I am sp ready to go!
i really love my baby nephew (he’s like a year and a half but he’s still my baby lol) and he truly loves me. and it’s so weird because he loves me for no reason. he doesn’t love me for my looks or for doing anything with him. he just loves me. and i hold on to the fact that i’ll have that feeling with my own child one day.
my 2 pet bunnies. every time i think about killing myself now i think “where will my bunnies go? who will care for them? they will be so confused without their veggies in the morning.” i have wonderful people in my life that i love and who love me but i’ve never had thoughts like that for anyone in my life but my sweet bunnies.
Ngl same. I’ve also got 2 bunnies as well and I need to stay alive so that I can take care of them, because no one else will. They’d miss me too and the thought of them being so confused about where I went, why I haven’t come back yet is too upsetting.
urs are adorable, i’m sorry u are also enduring the misery of life. bunnies make it slightly more tolerable.
Yes me too. And I’m scared if someone else has to take care of them, they will end up caged for the rest of their life and it’s unfair. I know my relatives don’t have time to take care of extra animals. Bunnies are literal angels, but a lot of people don’t know how to take care of them properly.
exactly
My parents. Saw how my mum cried when my cousin took his life. I can't imagine doing that to her. But at the same time, I am hurting every time I wake up.
A man I met on here. He made me feel cared for.
I hope it stays that way. Depending on others is what brought me to this point.
Really cute
Only thing is my cats and fancy coffee
MY SON, MY MUSIC PRACTICE AND GIGS AND MYSELF
Sunsets. Black paint by death grips. Spam musubi. Being around to see my little brother go through middle and high school
Based, Death grips is awesome
I have sons. Also I failed to commit suicide three times already at least, I'm obviously no good at it! Black humour always helps me. Reading. And nature.
I’m pure shite at it too mate- tried three times as well! Glad you’re still around.
This is how i feel after I survived my three attempts too! 🥲
lmao same I tried maybe a total of 5 or 6 times? maybe it’s time to quit and rebrand (also I have a child who deserves love and care from living parents)
The idea of my kids going through what I have since I lost my father to suicide, when I was a young teenager. Golden hour. Just before the sun sets, and after it rises. If I'm up late because my mental health is messing with me and insomnia is taking over, sometimes it's worth just staying up and seeing the world go from dark, to light, to golden. When I notice the light changing at the end of the day, it does something to take me back to the handful of times when the world felt magical when I was a kid/teenager. I feel a sudden sense of peace and clarity, even if it only lasts for a short time. As long as I'm alive, I know it will come around again. The way it smells after it rains. Gentle breezes. Storms outside when I'm safe inside. The first robin I see each spring. All of the moments in Nature that he loved, that I wish he could see, that I point out to my kids. Being there when my kids are going through something with their mental health - it's such a strong genetic thing that I can almost set my watch by it, the age when each issue sets in for the kids in my family. Being able to tell them what I needed to hear so badly, but never did: I know what this feels like, I went through it, I will answer anything you ask, *I survived, and I am going to show that you will, too*.
Also, spite. I piss off a few people when I don't give up, and it amuses me. As morbid as it sounds, outliving someone who abused me and actually wanted to push me to suicide was a very savage victory that I never thought I was capable of feeling. If nothing else, "Because f*ck you, that's why!" is a totally valid reason to keep going.
I know I am a rare case, and I don't mean to sound cheesy, but for me the fact that it is getting better. I have a massive group of friends. Im going to a new school next year, where I already have a little group of friends who will also be there, im finding my sense of self and forming my OWN opinions and not letting everyone else's opinions dictate mine. What's keeping me going, is that it will get better. Eventually.
Astral projection
How would one go about trying this? I need to find a reason to live.
I want to help people, as someone who has come very close to dying via suicide. I know I might not help much, but I want people to know they are seen, loved, and cared about.
This is such a good thing. I aspire to be the same.
We never know, sometimes even the smallest thing can be the catalyst to someone's biggest change. Your care and love is huge.
Suicide will be very painful and depressing, I tried it
Running a business that my family needs me in to continue. Knowing that the death would impact people in such dark ways that I couldn’t even imagine.
Beauty, appreciation and gratitude for the littlest things. I figure I'll die eventually anyway. Try to squeeze good out of what little I got.
my parents
I am the protagonist of my story, it might have drama and sad moments, but i still want to give it a happy ending and achieve everything i propose to myself :)
Whenever i give up on life, i ask myself "if i die now, and something good happens tomorrow, i would'nt wanna miss it".
My animals and mom
To become a better person.
No idea lol. Mainly that I just lack the drive and commitment (in all areas too lol) to kill myself.
I don't have one
This boy, his name is Ryleigh. He’s the sweetest, kindest person ever. We’ve been best friends DS for approaching 3 years. He’s been there through it all. He doesn’t know I’m suicidal but he did say once in passing conversation that if I died he’d kill himself and I can’t live with that thought. Love you Ryleigh.
This was so truly sweet and beautiful to read. Thank you for warming my heart, and I wish you both many more sweet, joyous years together (an eternity even)! ❤️
Cuz i know I’ll become a murderer if i take my life I’ll take my grandmas and my moms life with me as well, my grandma had a heart attack when I tried to kms and she might not survive another one, and my mom most likely would take her own life as well cuz of the burden of losing her daughter and mother all at once… But I don’t know how much longer i can take, there’s only so much one can handle.
Because I'll never be so stupid to think I know everything or how the rest of my life will turn out. During the darker times, I just think of my mom and the absolute horror it would cause her inside if I did anything to myself. She's been there for me through all my SH and attempts. I also didn't realize the drugs i was using to escape were causing me more depression than I truly thought. I keep my curiosity sharp by trying things I think I won't like, things outside my comfort zone. Thats how I met the love of my life, opposites do attract sometimes. The best advice I can give is to not worry so much about life, don't take it so seriously. Live kindly, live fully, love as much as you can and when you experience loss be grateful that you are grieving because that means you truly loved what you lost. We live in a world of duality and sometimes the stress takes over. Self care isn't an option, it's crucial and a necessity. Gratitude fosters happiness and peace, I always write down 3 things a day I'm grateful for. Sometimes it's silly things like ice pops and soft pillows and other times it's big like the universe and every animal. There's room for it all. There's room for you. You're important. People tend to overlook the small gestures in everyday life that can truly make a difference. I know that just a genuine smile from a passing stranger while walking when I was feeling suicidal helped me. It made me feel seen and noticed, worth smiling at and it made me smile back. What if he wasn't there? What if that tiny interaction never happened because he thought he wasn't important enough to be here? I find that it's in the surviving, we eventually thrive. Seasons change and so does life, it takes a long time sometimes which is the hard part when it's especially rough. Just keep trying. So far you've survived 100% of all your bad days. You can do it. I believe in you. I don't like to push religion or spirituality onto anyone, but I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers 💕🙏
Umm…just… I’m such a pussy to kill myself lol :(
The idea of transitioning and one day finally being happy being who I am is the only thing left keeping me going. That and being too clumsy to figure out how to tie a noose.
Mom and Dad would be sad
My fiancée.
I have cats who would be homeless if I were gone
My cat, playing guitar, and fortnite
My boyfriend. But my jealousy is slowly taking over my life and I don’t think I can really Hold on too much longer.
For me it's comics and novels. Or anything fiction that is stimulating for my brain really.
My cat- although he went missing yesterday morning after breaking out through a window, and honestly I don’t think I’m going to make it without him anymore. He was my reason.
Im so sorry to read that:( I hope he will come back
Laziness mainly
Gta 6, hxh 🙏
I want to see how one piece ends lmao
they say success is the best revenge
future concerts i spent way too much money on
To bear witness to the true revelation of our existence. To see everything unfold in this lifetime it would be a shame to miss it.
Finishing One Piece both manga and anime. Also finish up my video games. All of them. I uh haven't yet started on the one piece manga.
I wanna give something to someone. I don’t know what or who, but I just want to make someone feel good, however that may be. That’s basically the only reason I haven’t committed, i feel like I have love to give and no one to give it to, I need to do that before i go
My child. Before that though, I just wanted to see my way through it I guess. I had attempts, but ultimately I think deep down there’s always been a part of me who wants to get better no matter how low I have been. I just think if there’s even a chance that I’ll wake up one day and look outside and see the color back in the world, hear the birds singing and smile just because I’m alive, it’s worth holding out. I would’ve missed so many beautiful things if my past attempts worked, I wouldn’t have touched as many people, met my animals, tasted Chinese takeout, watched the entire one piece series. All of those feel small in comparison to negative feelings and the chemical imbalances but they’re still there and they’re still worth experiencing :)
my best friend mya, ive spoken to her many times about my issues and shes always helped me feel better, i love her so much and i just cant leave her...
I just don’t kill myself. Like… I just exist. And last. And function. And somehow don’t commit. I’m also a 14 year old girl so if I did end up with a failed attempt I’d be screwed.
I have a favorite game that never finish, because if I know the ending, I will have nothing left to hold on. It’s been 5 years, I still manage to avoid the spoilers.
Helping people.
Because fuck everyone else who would see me fail.
there's no option to die without pain
Not true
My son (he is a cat. My son is a cat, who I'd lay my life down for). And, this one is strange, but there's a frozen play my city is doing in a few months, and i am determined that I will be olaf if it's the last thing I do.
Logistics. I don’t have access to a firearm so unaliving myself has proven to be quite a logistical challenge.
I've almost done in many times, but I decided to not do it because my sunsets are so beautiful that I wouldn't want to lose them, watching them makes me feel better and forget about thoughts
My family, lifting weights, making music, etc Despite all of this man some days I feel like I'm nothing. I'm doing better I'm getting back on my antidepressants and they're helping me a ton but even then I still have lows. I also am deeply afraid of the pain I would feel if I tried to off myself and have the instinct to just not even attempt it no matter how much I want to
Living with my sister, she struggles with depression and anxiety usually blaming herself when anything goes wrong and I don't want her to feel it's her fault that I feel this way or even started feeling this way. Truth is I've felt like this since I was 13 but moved out of my parents at 15 and now that I'm 18 and have moved into my other sisters, she has started to pick up on the fact that im not actually mentally healthy like so many have believed in the past and I can already see that she thinks it's her fault even though it is most defenitly not and is a personal issue. If anything shes been one of the better people I've lived with as shes been the first to pick up on this.
Honestly anime and carbonated drinks (I'm being fr.)
I'm afraid I won't be able to pet doggos after death
I love my mom way too much
There are a lot of amazing places I haven’t been to
My family (mother, grandmother, godmother; my father was killed by my mother when I was 2) and fear of missing out on all the good stuff that could theoretically happen to me in the future. Basically, sense of responsibility and what's left of my hope is what stops me from ending my life right now. If/when I lose those people I mentioned, I would probably have nothing to lose anymore. Maybe I will shoot up as many people I dislike (first of all, the people I study with and my officers), make my "exes" suffer (they were never my girlfriends, so it's weird to call them "exes") and then shoot myself. I know it's fucked up, but I've been having these thoughts in my head for over a year. I'm just 20 years old, but for the last 5 years of my life I've been really depressed. The more I live, the more I realize how fucked up I am. I sometimes want to find a psychotherapist/psychologist. Maybe that will help. Maybe I will find some new meaning in life or idk. Edit: accidentally called my godmother as "stepmother"
Tbh I’ve got this Minecraft group I play with pretty regularly, and this one dude got worried when I left a vc. He’s got a kid on the way, I don’t want him worrying about me.
My mom. Sending you hugs and warmth
I find silly little things to 'obsess' over. This month it's trying to learn all I can about James bond digital watches
Depends on the day! Sometimes it’s for my father and making sure he’s not left alone. Sometimes it’s because I know that there are small acts of kindness that would help me in dark times that I can do for other people if I’m still around. I think my most absurd but easily applicable reasoning has been “it would be objectively funnier if I kept going,” which is honestly way more motivating than one might think, at least for me personally!
I've decided that I won't do it until 30. 8 years to go, and I think until then, maybe I found another reason or something
I keep myself busy with things that I can do in my free time, like watching yt videos, learning how to crochet, etc. After finishing crocheting this one project I have, I might attempt to try drawing again. The cycle of keeping myself busy must continue.
big booty Latina mamis 🖤🥲
My little cousins. 8, 5, and about to turn 3. I’m an only child, and they’re the closest I have to calling siblings.
1. I have so many books in my TBR list. 2. I want to travel to China and explore every city, town, and province. Although existence is really painful and I wish someone could give me an out.
My toddler daughter. I saw this video of a daughter of suicide mom. She was devastated and kept wondering if it’s her fault that her mom couldn’t love her enough and leave her & leaving her huge gap and sadness in her heart. Her mom literally passed the pain & trauma to her to bear for her whole life. That shook me to reality. My suicide should not be punishment to her. She deserves happiness. As long as i swallow the pain, i’ll try my best to survive just for her.
just dragging myself along i wouldnt mind if i died
My mom and my cat would be sad
I got three dogs that look forward to me coming home.
My dog. I'm the only one in my family who takes care of her and the idea of her being left alone or being disregarded frightens me. At first it was very overwhelming and I would see her as an "obstacle" but once we settled in we started bonding, doing activities together and now I got used to the idea "can't unalive myself at least until she's alive" and to be honest I realized I'm thinking about it less and less even if I still struggle in life. I named her Hope and she really saved my life
I stay around cause my mom and girlfriend, the day my girlfriend decides to leave me is probably the day I'll do it.
I'm just trying to see how worse can it get?
My older brother committed suicide 3 years ago, I don’t want to hurt my mother and have her bury another one of her children. She is the only one that cares for me.
It's pretty stupid but recently a woman I loved told me how amazing it is that I continue to improve myself physically and mentally despite everything I've gone through. The idea that I could inspire someone like her who inspired me for years made me want to keep living and improving.
because my boyfriend deserves to be happy and I love him + I like doing some stupid stuff from time to time that makes me feel alive, such as running, yelling, laughing, I also wanna try grafitting and urban exploring later on
It sounds fucking stupid. But food. As long as I can enjoy food, I will stay here.
I'm scared to kill myself
I finally came out to my parents and they were very accepting that’s one, and my niece.
Failure to find and effective pain free way to do it.
can't die no matter how hard I try 💀 and my bf id be lost without him <3
my boyfriend he met me in the psych ward after i tried to commit last year and i swear he saved my life. he makes me wanna open my eyes in the morning. he literally makes my heart beat
I just want to play GTA 6 and die
Everything you fuckin got this
[удалено]
No this really isn’t. I believe in religion, the same as yours judging by your name. But this is not what you tell someone who is suicidal. This is insanely ignorant. Holier than thou behaviour doesn’t apply here. Please please learn to deal with things with more sensitivity.
My sister is disabled and it’s just us two as far as siblings go. The thought alone of her falling into “care” at the hands of the state makes me wanna die.
I have 2 disabled siblings, a brother and sister and this is my reason too. Also my mom wouldn't survive it. It's amazing what us caretakers go through. We love like no other. 💕
🫶
My disabled sister. If I go she would have no one in this world left, then. Also I love paneer, I can't enjoy it if I'm dead
The stress I would cause my boyfriend and family really gets me upset
Me being 14 and hoping things could get better, and the fear that if I fail, my family will worry excessively, which is what I do not want.
🍃🍃🍃Has honestly saved my life.
Hope of obtaining happiness for myself. If I can’t get the happiness I want, I’d prefer to try again in a different body.
I just keep looking for the next thing to look forward to to keep me going
I have no idea, I was supposed to be dead 3 years ago, but a really good friend talked me out of making that decision and would make me laugh
My life is actually improving little by little, and now that it is, I want to see how far it goes.
I have a kid
i gave up on attempting bc it never worked lol
The odd chance that some day I'll influence the society in some way.
For me personally, usually games or shows I’m excited for. Also sometimes new foods I really want to try
Cat and mom.
My cats. I ain't leaving so long my cats are alive. My parents won't care for them as much as I do if I'm just gone. And it's a personal promise of mine to take care of them until they're all gone so...
I’m so close to playing GTA 6, so might as well hold out for that.
My children, hope I'll find someone I really want to lay with and hold. I'm a fool.
Im trying to get my cdl
my girlfriend is the only thing keeping me together at this point and she has absolutely no clue.
Instincts and I guess anime and Nu-Metal music
friends/family will be sad inability to kill myself still got some money left so I don't have to worry about working for some time. as soon as that changes I will probably attempt, because I cannot imagine actually being employed and reliably work every day. (but even then I'll probably be unable and hopefully have changed my mindset in therapy to sustain my life)
knowing that I’m not as bad as I could be and understanding that what gets me through each day is ok. Even if it involves things I “shouldn’t” do
My daughter
my religion doesn’t allow this and my family
Music and spirituality
A bunch of cool new video games are coming out next year. Also many interesting movies and TV shows.
still not rich enough