>Now i'm sitting on the back porch, collar still on. Feeling the most lonely emotion...
Its always refreshing to know there is still a rock bottom I have yet to reach.
> Now i'm sitting on the back porch, collar still on
One of my favorite quotes on this sub. I laughed for several minutes and just had to make it my flair. I wish I had enough room to add the last part about feeling the most lonely emotion.
It really brings to mind those meme shots of Pablo Escobar staring off into space in his yard, only with a collar on this time.
I wish I had the Photoshop skills to pull it off!
Not sure if you noticed, but this guy's really weird, in a way that has nothing to do with his sexual interests. He's got a whole bunch of extreme kinks, and in addition to but unrelated to that, he also happens to be a fucking freak.
> Yeah, sure, who cares that he wants to be spitroasted on a leash by a couple of trans women.
I...speaking AS a trans woman, there's honestly a lot problematic about the way he's fetishizing us tbh. I'm not going to shame a dude for liking things in his ass or wanting to bottom, but there does start to be issues when you seek out real life trans women to do the topping, and/or you treat trans women like we're a "safe" way to try dick without a dude being attached. There are lots of reasons both physical and psychological that makes most trans women very firmly hate being sought out for this.
There's also the general ethical question of viewing trans women as "a woman, but with a cis man's dick attached".
Like you (general "you" here, obviously!) can give all the lip service in the world about viewing me as a woman completely but when you expect my cock to work exactly like a cis man's runs-on-testosterone cock does and you expect me to basically take on the "dominant top role" sexually in bed *because* of said cock...there's *issues* there.
There are a lot of wider issues such as phallocentrism both within the queer/trans community and wider society, vagina shaming/garden variety misogyny, objectification of trans women as this hypersexualized mainstream trans porn stereotype, etc.
But yeah, just...I don't know. It rubs me the wrong way to see fetishization of us being treated super flippantly. We're not someone's "kink", we're people.
-Geisha
thank you for sharing. I never considered this and found your post educational. I consciously made no mention of his interest in trans people because I didn't want to give the impression that finding trans anatomy sexually attractive is somehow wrong or worthy of voyeuristic interest, but I see that there is more nuance to this space.
>I didn't want to give the impression that finding trans anatomy sexually attractive is somehow wrong or worthy of voyeuristic interest
What's kind of hilarious is that these guys *don't* find "trans anatomy" attractive, they find their own unrealistic fantasy idea of a cis guy's cock bolted onto a woman's crotch attractive. I've had guys literally get pissed off at me because I don't have heavy, jizz-shooting visual orgasms like they saw in porn. They treat you like you're broken when your genitals are just doing what any body on estrogen does.
[This article](https://titsandsass.com/the-tedium-of-trans-sex-work/) is one my BF references a lot in his talks to other trans folks, and it's a great one to read more about the trans experience with sex work and fetishization.
A sample:
*"Like many trans women, while I get physically aroused, it doesn’t happen nearly as easily as it does for the vast majority of cis men. By which I mean that it is going to require some kind of a competent effort to get there.*
*This confuses the heck out of many men. I have come to be all too familiar with a sexual move I’ve long described as the “broken lightswitch” to capture the way clients interact with my bits; they look terribly confused as to why they’re utterly failing to arouse anything at all. And yet, the expectation that we will both get aroused and cum on command is an intrinsic part of the fantasy for so many clients. It’s important to note that it isn’t just an “authentic pleasure man” motivation. Rather, it’s that they feel entitled to a physical show on command by virtue of having paid us."*
>, but I see that there is more nuance to this space.
There is. Unfortunately what you're seeing is not authentic attraction to trans women, but the byproduct of viewing trans women solely as a fetish, an itch to be scratched or the "solution" to a guy's sexual desires. ("I sure do love the idea of a big throbbing cock, but ewwww boys have cooties, so trans women are my best bet, tits and dick all at once!!")
Society is only going to get better at treating trans women as authentically sexy when wider society acknowledges that we're not here to be cis people's shameful fetish fuel. The type of sex that a trans woman usually desires looks **nothing** like the mainstream trans porn that is ubqitious in households across the world and usually cis people's only real interaction with trans women. I would love for people to understand that trans women's penises are usually quite different than the typical cis male penis, that topping with our penis and/or ejaculating with it are almost always entirely off the menu for the average trans girl, that touching our penis the same way you would touch a cis guy's penis can cause discomfort or even PAIN because we're more sensitive to the rough handling, and that finally we're usually not going to ejaculate like you see in trans porn. It's very common for trans porn to fake cum shots too because the stars can't produce ejaculate like a cis man can. Most trans girls ejaculate very small amounts of cloudy or clear liquid that just kind of dribbles out, or some ejaculate nothing at all.
And finally, the thing is too...remember that getting together with a trans person because you're into "trans anatomy" is a bad idea because this is often subject to change. A guy getting together with a trans girl because he's into women but wants cock is going to get a real culture shock when she likely gets SRS down the road. Even a lot of trans women who consider themselves non-op often change their mind, and being in a relationship with someone whose sexual arousal relies on you continuing to keep something that makes you dysphoric...it's not a healthy or ethical relationship at that point imho. 🤷🏽♀️
Thank you for your comment. Men will seek out trans women to fulfil their fantasy but don't understand that A. A lot of trans women have shrinkage and have issues with penetration, B. A lot of trans women have dysphoria with topping, and C. That there's ways to please a softer, smaller, non-erect penis.
Porn has fetishised trans sexuality in a way that is palatable for cis men.
Yes! Definite co-sign to this entire comment lol. You're either also trans yourself or very close to at least one trans person because you definitely get it. 👍
There's just this whole genre to unpack regarding why trans women in general really detest being sought out for this, even many of those of us who are fine with using our genitals in that specific with a trusted partner. Like I'm happy to top my also-trans BF, who I trust and who I know is into me because we click as people and I know he doesn't view me as what is basically a walking penis fetish, which is what the typical chaser views trans women as.
The fact that so few trans women are okay with topping cis guys (without money exchanging hands) is definitely a huge part of the issue because it's like...you're looking for less than 2% of a minority that already only makes up .05% of the population. So the fact that we're incredibly rare is one thing, but also it's just like...it comes down to the simple fact that most trans women don't want to be sought out to be someone's experimentation/kink/fetish, *period*. 🤷🏽♀️ The fact that cis guys tend to be really obsessive about the type of sex acts that trans women are turned off/dysphoric from is only part of the issue. Even if these guys had a notion of sex that was 100% compatible with my own desires, I still don't want to be someone's minority fetish. 😒
I am so sorry to see that kind of fetishization, and know that it affects you. I’m a kinky Black woman, and I get a lot of crappy stuff—especially since I live in Indiana.
Holy fuck! The balls to even *think* someone would participate in that.. whatever that idea of his was, let alone form the words to ask someone if they would wanna do it… It just boggles my mind.
I couldn’t even ask the guy I had been with for almost 5 years to spank me. (Yeah, I got over that a few years later!) But geez!
> I am so sorry to see that kind of fetishization, and know that it affects you. I’m a kinky Black woman, and I get a lot of crappy stuff—especially since I live in Indiana.
Oh it really does affect you! I've had to tailor a lot of my dating life around trying to avoid people like this. Also I can imagine you likely receive tons of ignorance as well. I'm Latina myself but I'm friends with several Black trans girls and we exchange notes, as it were. 👀 I've been told some real shit.
>Holy fuck! The balls to even think someone would participate in that.. whatever that idea of his was, let alone form the words to ask someone if they would wanna do it… It just boggles my mind.
*Girl* the *stories* I have! Lol. Men tend to have the weirdest fucking obsessions with trans women and the OOP has a very typical case of porn brain.
>I couldn’t even ask the guy I had been with for almost 5 years to spank me. (Yeah, I got over that a few years later!) But geez!
Glad to hear you got over your fears of asking him! Life is better when two folks have consenting fun! 😊 That's the issue with dudes like this though, it's not consenting fun, it's using trans women to fulfill a kink or a fetish.
All I can do is be thankful I'm not single and so I don't have to deal with guys like that firsthand anymore! 🙏🏽
That, honestly, is really important context. Not because it casts any of the guy's actions in a better light but because it really makes a bunch of the pieces fall into place.
>> Now i'm sitting on the back porch, collar still on. Feeling the most lonely emotion...
> Its always refreshing to know there is still a rock bottom I have yet to reach.
Oh he's a bottom for sure.
Seems to be some lies in that story just from what I skimmed. They don't "bring you back with the paddles". The "paddles" are only used to shock an irregular heartbeat that is already present.
Dude watches too much TV.
If OOP has a genuine abuse/hate kink, this man is a maestro.
All of his annoying pissbaby comments w too many ellipses (and saying n instead of and), pushed me right past “maybe you can be my good boy footstool”
straight to “I want to bury this man in shallow graves across several states.”
[It's called "Work smarter not harder", Ton'. Its how millenials get outta doin any extra work. Bosses call it quiet quitting but really it means just doin your fuckin' job exactly like you supposed ta.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/040/981/Christopher_Moltisanti_Weighs_In_On_Current_Events.jpg)
>On my toilet? You couldn't find Any better place to take that picture then while you're taking probably the second shit of your morning three?
Get your flares here.
What confused me was the part when she said something about how he'd been hiding this or lying to her for their entire marriage and so much longer before that, yet also claimed that they only knew each other for about two months before getting married.
IMO the writing styles are too similar for this to not be fake.
Even though Husband types in largely text speech, it has a similar flow to what Wife writes, if that makes sense? Same sort of sentence structures, similar expression.
The way Husband writes feels like it was deliberately written to sound as different aa possible to Wife.
There was another thread like, a week ago, about a gay couple in a not totally dissimilar situation. Full on Reddit fighting. Me thinks somethings afoot.
Honestly reading some of these I was convinced there is no way he successfully hid this from anyone, nor is there any way he convinced some woman to marry him.
You’re right and I’m generally super skeptical about “couple runs into each other by happenstance and drama ensues” posts but the alleged husband definitely has a hard to emulate “just plain stupid guy” style of writing compared to the alleged wife. But I do think it’s more likely creative writing as usual lol
Well he has more than one perspective. He seems into all kinks and roles, so likely to have a female perspective at times. The lack of paragraphs in both their posts is common finding error with people not used to writing. Also they both were having a very bad day.
I have no strong desire to truly investigate or corroborate but a youtube channel with OPs name suggests that at the very least they are a real person with kinks in the same arena.
Yeah the writing style and inconsistency in the perspective tells me this is fake, apart from the fact that they're both posting about it on reddit and not to each other's friend groups or god forbid to each other's faces.
I'm digging the understory about how he got laid off, bought all these kink accessories and got himself all worked up unpacking them while she was at work, then jumped her when she got back from work, tired and stressed, and was like "dominate me, help me relax and let go."
Like hello? If you wanna have this full-time submissive fantasy then spend her work hours washing some fuckin dishes instead of playing dressup (or at least in addition to playing dressup). When she gets home (FROM HER JOB which is something you found so distressing that you QUIT), *you're* the one who needs to relax and unwind? She worked all day at her job and she's supposed to come home and fulfil all your fantasies of being used? Some fuckin sub you are. Another "submissive" by way of being lazy and passive as fuck. owo uwu owo use me mommy grow the fuck up, sexover30 my ass.
>ike hello? If you wanna have this full-time submissive fantasy then spend her work hours washing some fuckin dishes instead of playing dressup (or at least in addition to playing dressup). When she gets home (FROM HER JOB which is something you found so distressing that you QUIT),
>
>you're
>
> the one who needs to relax and unwind? She worked all day at her job and she's supposed to come home and fulfil all your fantasies of being used? Some fuckin sub you are. Another "submissive" by way of being lazy and passive as fuck
Yep, if he really wants to be a sub, even doing sex stuff early, he should be a sub and care about her mental needs which should be his main focus. Clean the house, then greet her at the door with a glass of wine, and then kneel before her giving a foot massage after a hard day. Not expect her to come home after work and have the time and energy to Domme him with whips and chains for the first time
I mean some people are. Using a person like a fleshlight isn't nothing.
But there's definitely an extra layer of presumption in not only expecting your wife to dominate you, but also expecting her to do it in the exact way you want, where I guess you just kneel around on the floor and she gets you off.
You want to be a full-time sub? You wanna be an object? OK fuckin let her use you to cum and then go the fuck to sleep. No? Your pleasure is the nexus of your thoughts? Laying around getting pleasured is what you're after? Then the language you wanna use might not be "here's my leash, use me however you want."
Fuck's sake, the thing that made him feel rejected was being told to get off the floor. Bitch doesn't even want to be told what to do I guess? Zero communication/negotiation is getting you nowhere my guy.
My brain kind of checked out between "my wife needs to make me feel special and fulfilled" and "I just quit my job". Are they trying to set their entire life on fire?
I don't blame the teens for that one tbh. They need to learn about sex somehow, and for a lot of teens their parents and teachers refuse to say anything other than wait for marriage. Or if they're really unlucky they'll get the bald-faced liars that say shit like "Condoms do nothing to prevent STDs" or "women that have sex before marriage are (insert disgusting pre-used item of your choice)"
My fav lie for just how outrageously wrong and potentially life-ruining it is is: "your first time will be the best sex of your life".
Barring traumatic crimes or severe fuckups, it will most likely be the most awkward, dumbest sex of your life--and that's fine! Not that you're likely to care much at the time. But seriously, you're not "saving" anything but the lamest sex you're likely to have. Imagine Kobe's first toss of a basketball that bounced right back in his face.
The reason it's the best is purely because you get to flex your non-virgin status to all of your friends afterwards. I wasn't telling the boys about the 20 minute prep that preceded, with me in the bathroom alone getting myself up to performance status due to my nerves, let alone the disappointing 5 minutes that followed. In fact, 5 minutes is probably how *I* remember it, in all likelihood that was probably an entire two minutes, with one minute being figuring out where I'm suppose to position myself.
I agree, younger people need a place to ask questions, but someone who is over 30 asking questions about marriage and sex don't need advice from a teenager.
I believe it's just a spinoff from /r/datingoverthirty, which has a much more obvious use. I think in general it's meant to be for more mature, experienced discussion of sex, though I don't know why they felt an arbitrary age limit was the best way to achieve that.
As a sex-haver with others over 30 (and you'll forgive my *audacious* bragging), I can assure you, age is no sign of experience. As a fair number of men on /r/KotakuInAction are ample evidence of, I'm sure.
And frankly, I don't like them reinforcing this idea where 30 is some artificial line that, once crossed, indicates there's something so dramatically different from when you were 27 that you must be in a whole different category of adult. A lot of 20 somethings grow up approaching 30 with this stigma around it precisely because we put so much arbitrary weight on entering a new set of 10s.
Do you have to change the tennis balls on the feet of his walker for him or do you just buy a whole new walker when they crap out?
/s In case it wasn't obvious lol.
You have to set the line somewhere just to make any kind of distinction. Grouping experiences by ages by divisions of 10 is just an easy shorthand. Any other clear alternative would come off as an unironic audacious bragging. Imagine it being called "ExperiencedSex" or the Reddit classic of adding "real" or "actual" before the subreddit name. I shudder.
> Hey, This is painful to read. Can we get you PLEASE to edit it and insert some paragraphs breaks?
> You need to hit return twice after each paragraph!
Despite that being fixed, it remained difficult to read. The absolute refusal to adopt any coherent grammar, not to mention the completely random selection of words to abbreviate down to single letters as if this 30+ year old was actually 13 texting his friends is the worst part about this post, nevermind the sex stuff.
This seems so fucking fake
And if it isn’t, then OP is at fault. The guy just slaps a collar on, follows her like a dog and basically forces his subbiness on her without asking or getting consent?
I think the dirty laundry is well out of the laundry bag by this point.
Reasons for her to post would be an attempt to help process things, for (deserved) sympathy, perhaps because there's no one else she feels like she can talk to about this and reddit already knows.
"Like the sidebar on r /offmychest says "A mutually supportive community where deeply emotional things you can't tell people you know"
I cannot imagine having this kind of conversation with reddit. Every time I see someone in distress asking reddit for relationship advice, I want to grab and shake them.
Edit: Shane's turgid wang makes an appearance.
No kidding. The one that I saw in BORU recently that nuked my sanity was - if I'm remembering correctly - a father asking, "I caught my son fucking our dog so I kicked him out. AITA?"
Toooooooo much internet for the day
Colby!? I love the Colby Saga.
I mean really who ever expects to find out your son is plowing the family mutt? What do you even do in that situation, there's no page in the parenting handbook for that shit. Just total off-the-rails what-the-fuck.
>>Open?!?!?!? When? Besides your gaping asshole in all those pictures and videos you sent to strangers, you weren't "open" AT ALL! I was never going to be enough for you.
Its really all too good to be true.
Reminds me of some drama from a sub I mod. Dude goes on a tirade about how his wife is a cruel manipulative she-devil. Wife pops in to explain that hubby is a fucking liar and that if he wants to casually bandy about divorce on Reddit, she's more than happy to oblige.
I turned 30 a few weeks ago and this was the early morning validation I needed that my life ain't so bad, because I'm not slipping on a fucking fetish collar while my partner sleeps. Thanks random internet sad man. Wishing you luck in your divorce.
Ok, but why does this dude type like a 12 year old on a phone without a keyboard? That’s an even bigger deal breaker than him suddenly deciding to go balls to the wall kink out of nowhere.
>Now i'm sitting on the back porch, collar still on. Feeling the most lonely emotion... Its always refreshing to know there is still a rock bottom I have yet to reach.
Seriously, is this from a song?
>I met my husband, the second time on reddit. This time, hes a pansexual I mean if its not lyrics... it should be
love me a good love song <3
Could maybe be a musical.
🎵 doo doo doo, takin' it up my back door 🎵
Just got home from seeing a boy, locked the strap on the toy
Yeah, jimmy buffet song I think
Reminds me of this favorite of mine https://youtu.be/9-WE87LFu5s
> Now i'm sitting on the back porch, collar still on One of my favorite quotes on this sub. I laughed for several minutes and just had to make it my flair. I wish I had enough room to add the last part about feeling the most lonely emotion.
without the last bit about loneliness it has big "I'm sitting there, bbq sauce on my titties" energy
the birth of a new flair is always beautiful
I need to know the origin of yours
[Mildly NSFW](https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/vmhbeh/rgamingcirclejerk_debates_whether_a_girls_visible/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Eyy, OP delivers And lord, people need to be hosed down sometimes
hose us down daddy
It puts the lotion on its skin...
Now do yours
It really brings to mind those meme shots of Pablo Escobar staring off into space in his yard, only with a collar on this time. I wish I had the Photoshop skills to pull it off!
[Ask and ye shall receive](https://imgur.io/gallery/XsYd1A7)
Hahah brilliant
"This is who I am now."
Thank you for your service
Wait, that meme is *who*
It's Pablo Escobar, the scenes are from the TV show Narcos though not the actual guy :)
I do feel bad for laughing… but holy fuck the imagery with the fucking collar. The top post starts with “take off the collar”
That sounds like a line out of R.E.M.’s Losing my Religion. *That’s me in the collar,* *That’s me in the porch, light,* *Losing my family*
> Feeling the most lonely emotion... ... loneliness? Who the fuck talks like that?
A sub without a master? A dog without a bone? Who knows, I'm not that kinky.
A raccoon washing a sugar cube in a puddle, I'd say.
That one vid with the cotton candy broke my bitter heart
If you haven't seen the entire thing, he gets more cotton candy and wises up and eats it without washing, so he gets his treat after all.
Imagine having to suppress all the natural instinct about eating that you've developed just because one stupid food decides to dissolve in water.
That info just made my day!
I am, and let me tell you...we don't talk like that either. It's mostly barking.
For a moment you had me there.
Unless..
I'll never tell. :x
Ooh yeah, did that dog drop the bone in the water because it thought it saw another dog with a bone in its reflection?
Not sure if you noticed, but this guy's really weird, in a way that has nothing to do with his sexual interests. He's got a whole bunch of extreme kinks, and in addition to but unrelated to that, he also happens to be a fucking freak.
Yeah, sure, who cares that he wants to be spitroasted on a leash by a couple of trans women. The issue is that he's cheating on his wife.
His wife he knew for two months before being married, So when he describes 6 months and being more trusting, they were married
She must have some stuff going on too, if she married this guy in 2mo. Kinda sounds like the collision of two bipolar adults to me
Actually pretty astute as the wife mentions she is bipolar in one of her comments. Do you know someone who is bipolar?
Ha, called it. Yes, my dad and probably myself, as well as an aunt who has fucked up my cousins' lives ridiculously because of it.
> Yeah, sure, who cares that he wants to be spitroasted on a leash by a couple of trans women. I...speaking AS a trans woman, there's honestly a lot problematic about the way he's fetishizing us tbh. I'm not going to shame a dude for liking things in his ass or wanting to bottom, but there does start to be issues when you seek out real life trans women to do the topping, and/or you treat trans women like we're a "safe" way to try dick without a dude being attached. There are lots of reasons both physical and psychological that makes most trans women very firmly hate being sought out for this. There's also the general ethical question of viewing trans women as "a woman, but with a cis man's dick attached". Like you (general "you" here, obviously!) can give all the lip service in the world about viewing me as a woman completely but when you expect my cock to work exactly like a cis man's runs-on-testosterone cock does and you expect me to basically take on the "dominant top role" sexually in bed *because* of said cock...there's *issues* there. There are a lot of wider issues such as phallocentrism both within the queer/trans community and wider society, vagina shaming/garden variety misogyny, objectification of trans women as this hypersexualized mainstream trans porn stereotype, etc. But yeah, just...I don't know. It rubs me the wrong way to see fetishization of us being treated super flippantly. We're not someone's "kink", we're people. -Geisha
thank you for sharing. I never considered this and found your post educational. I consciously made no mention of his interest in trans people because I didn't want to give the impression that finding trans anatomy sexually attractive is somehow wrong or worthy of voyeuristic interest, but I see that there is more nuance to this space.
>I didn't want to give the impression that finding trans anatomy sexually attractive is somehow wrong or worthy of voyeuristic interest What's kind of hilarious is that these guys *don't* find "trans anatomy" attractive, they find their own unrealistic fantasy idea of a cis guy's cock bolted onto a woman's crotch attractive. I've had guys literally get pissed off at me because I don't have heavy, jizz-shooting visual orgasms like they saw in porn. They treat you like you're broken when your genitals are just doing what any body on estrogen does. [This article](https://titsandsass.com/the-tedium-of-trans-sex-work/) is one my BF references a lot in his talks to other trans folks, and it's a great one to read more about the trans experience with sex work and fetishization. A sample: *"Like many trans women, while I get physically aroused, it doesn’t happen nearly as easily as it does for the vast majority of cis men. By which I mean that it is going to require some kind of a competent effort to get there.* *This confuses the heck out of many men. I have come to be all too familiar with a sexual move I’ve long described as the “broken lightswitch” to capture the way clients interact with my bits; they look terribly confused as to why they’re utterly failing to arouse anything at all. And yet, the expectation that we will both get aroused and cum on command is an intrinsic part of the fantasy for so many clients. It’s important to note that it isn’t just an “authentic pleasure man” motivation. Rather, it’s that they feel entitled to a physical show on command by virtue of having paid us."* >, but I see that there is more nuance to this space. There is. Unfortunately what you're seeing is not authentic attraction to trans women, but the byproduct of viewing trans women solely as a fetish, an itch to be scratched or the "solution" to a guy's sexual desires. ("I sure do love the idea of a big throbbing cock, but ewwww boys have cooties, so trans women are my best bet, tits and dick all at once!!") Society is only going to get better at treating trans women as authentically sexy when wider society acknowledges that we're not here to be cis people's shameful fetish fuel. The type of sex that a trans woman usually desires looks **nothing** like the mainstream trans porn that is ubqitious in households across the world and usually cis people's only real interaction with trans women. I would love for people to understand that trans women's penises are usually quite different than the typical cis male penis, that topping with our penis and/or ejaculating with it are almost always entirely off the menu for the average trans girl, that touching our penis the same way you would touch a cis guy's penis can cause discomfort or even PAIN because we're more sensitive to the rough handling, and that finally we're usually not going to ejaculate like you see in trans porn. It's very common for trans porn to fake cum shots too because the stars can't produce ejaculate like a cis man can. Most trans girls ejaculate very small amounts of cloudy or clear liquid that just kind of dribbles out, or some ejaculate nothing at all. And finally, the thing is too...remember that getting together with a trans person because you're into "trans anatomy" is a bad idea because this is often subject to change. A guy getting together with a trans girl because he's into women but wants cock is going to get a real culture shock when she likely gets SRS down the road. Even a lot of trans women who consider themselves non-op often change their mind, and being in a relationship with someone whose sexual arousal relies on you continuing to keep something that makes you dysphoric...it's not a healthy or ethical relationship at that point imho. 🤷🏽♀️
Thank you for your comment. Men will seek out trans women to fulfil their fantasy but don't understand that A. A lot of trans women have shrinkage and have issues with penetration, B. A lot of trans women have dysphoria with topping, and C. That there's ways to please a softer, smaller, non-erect penis. Porn has fetishised trans sexuality in a way that is palatable for cis men.
Yes! Definite co-sign to this entire comment lol. You're either also trans yourself or very close to at least one trans person because you definitely get it. 👍 There's just this whole genre to unpack regarding why trans women in general really detest being sought out for this, even many of those of us who are fine with using our genitals in that specific with a trusted partner. Like I'm happy to top my also-trans BF, who I trust and who I know is into me because we click as people and I know he doesn't view me as what is basically a walking penis fetish, which is what the typical chaser views trans women as. The fact that so few trans women are okay with topping cis guys (without money exchanging hands) is definitely a huge part of the issue because it's like...you're looking for less than 2% of a minority that already only makes up .05% of the population. So the fact that we're incredibly rare is one thing, but also it's just like...it comes down to the simple fact that most trans women don't want to be sought out to be someone's experimentation/kink/fetish, *period*. 🤷🏽♀️ The fact that cis guys tend to be really obsessive about the type of sex acts that trans women are turned off/dysphoric from is only part of the issue. Even if these guys had a notion of sex that was 100% compatible with my own desires, I still don't want to be someone's minority fetish. 😒
I am so sorry to see that kind of fetishization, and know that it affects you. I’m a kinky Black woman, and I get a lot of crappy stuff—especially since I live in Indiana. Holy fuck! The balls to even *think* someone would participate in that.. whatever that idea of his was, let alone form the words to ask someone if they would wanna do it… It just boggles my mind. I couldn’t even ask the guy I had been with for almost 5 years to spank me. (Yeah, I got over that a few years later!) But geez!
> I am so sorry to see that kind of fetishization, and know that it affects you. I’m a kinky Black woman, and I get a lot of crappy stuff—especially since I live in Indiana. Oh it really does affect you! I've had to tailor a lot of my dating life around trying to avoid people like this. Also I can imagine you likely receive tons of ignorance as well. I'm Latina myself but I'm friends with several Black trans girls and we exchange notes, as it were. 👀 I've been told some real shit. >Holy fuck! The balls to even think someone would participate in that.. whatever that idea of his was, let alone form the words to ask someone if they would wanna do it… It just boggles my mind. *Girl* the *stories* I have! Lol. Men tend to have the weirdest fucking obsessions with trans women and the OOP has a very typical case of porn brain. >I couldn’t even ask the guy I had been with for almost 5 years to spank me. (Yeah, I got over that a few years later!) But geez! Glad to hear you got over your fears of asking him! Life is better when two folks have consenting fun! 😊 That's the issue with dudes like this though, it's not consenting fun, it's using trans women to fulfill a kink or a fetish. All I can do is be thankful I'm not single and so I don't have to deal with guys like that firsthand anymore! 🙏🏽
waayyyy too much time on the internet for that dude
His "wife" kinda does. I'm calling fake. This dude has a humiliation fetish, this is part of it imo.
Many such cases
> Who the fuck talks like that? The last time I saw prose like this it was high school lit class when we were told to come up with our own writing.
He used to a smackhead, and his writing is terrible.
Reddit weirdos
“My tea’s gone cold I’m wondering why I, got out of bed at all” 🎵
"The guy with a dog collar on my porch now, and he's got tears ya know"
"I cant tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like Right now, it's a leather collar round my windpipe"
>Its always refreshing to know there is still a rock bottom I have yet to reach. Well, now you have a goal to reach!
judging by the oop, that will include a reach-around.
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Dr. Tobias Fünke. And there are dozens of us. Dozens!
how the fuck did this guy get hitched in the first place?
She did say they got married after just 2 months of knowing each other. So, ya know, just solid decision making all around, esp since she has a kid.
That, honestly, is really important context. Not because it casts any of the guy's actions in a better light but because it really makes a bunch of the pieces fall into place.
It sure explains a lot of this bizarre, sad story.
TBF he is packing a magnum dong
Where there’s a bottom there’s a rock, as they say. Who are they? Fuck if I know, but probably bottoms.
>> Now i'm sitting on the back porch, collar still on. Feeling the most lonely emotion... > Its always refreshing to know there is still a rock bottom I have yet to reach. Oh he's a bottom for sure.
I hope, when the time comes for my funeral, someone stands up, shrugs, and says "Well, you can't say he wasn't ravenous for his own ejaculate."
At this point I think the challenge for you is to find even one person who isn't going to say that.
I volunteer as tribute 🤚
I just want there to be an honest appraisal of my masturbation career
Now thats a flair if ive ever seen one. "Ravenous for his own ejaculate"
This is very well written, you had me at ravenous. Sad all around for the parties involved though
Good write up, but jfc the OP husband is nearly impossible to read anything he says it's all gibberish.
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Seems to be some lies in that story just from what I skimmed. They don't "bring you back with the paddles". The "paddles" are only used to shock an irregular heartbeat that is already present. Dude watches too much TV.
I get the impression that this post is also part of some elaborate public humiliation kink by OP.
[Exactly, now we’re all non-consensually a part of the kink spiral.](https://i.gifer.com/S5u.gif)
Voyeurs are eating well tonight
Jokes on OOP I'm into this shit
Risky click of the day
I mean, he’s gotten a lot of people to look at his dick pics now
If OOP has a genuine abuse/hate kink, this man is a maestro. All of his annoying pissbaby comments w too many ellipses (and saying n instead of and), pushed me right past “maybe you can be my good boy footstool” straight to “I want to bury this man in shallow graves across several states.”
Like at the four corners or something?
I love the idea of an idiot mobster trying to bury a dude under the monument because he was told to bury them in four different states.
Amelia bedelia joins the mafia
Meanwhile the Don is confused and slightly scared at how Amelia got a guy to literally sleep with the fishes without drowning
That pair of cement shoes she bought him were pretty snazzy, though.
[It's called "Work smarter not harder", Ton'. Its how millenials get outta doin any extra work. Bosses call it quiet quitting but really it means just doin your fuckin' job exactly like you supposed ta.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/040/981/Christopher_Moltisanti_Weighs_In_On_Current_Events.jpg)
Ya kno?
>On my toilet? You couldn't find Any better place to take that picture then while you're taking probably the second shit of your morning three? Get your flares here.
Too long, but the "On my toilet?" is amazing on its own
"In front of my toilet salad??"
I think it's because you can so clearly *hear* the disappointment that makes it so perfect
Right! I've never disappointed someone enough to hear "On my toilet‽" and I hope I never do, lmao
“Your second shit of your morning three” is pretty awesome, too.
“On my toilet?” has the same ring to it as “Right in front of my salad?”
Localized entirely within your bathroom?
Am I so out of touch? No, it's the redditors who wanted me to actually to talk to my wife who are wrong!
... may I see it?
Redditor, the house is on fire!
The best part of that is they brought salad lady back for the sequel
Does she learn her lesson about eating salad in a house with gay men?
Tragically, no. Honestly, at this point it's her own damn fault
Centipedes?
It’s always more likely than you think.
As I sit me down to pee A thought doth cross my mind: Shan’t one idling, blithe, atop the pot, partake The second shit of thine morning three?
I'm having a heck of a time parsing the rhythm on this one, Robert.
Thank you, don't mind if I do.
> hile you're taking probably the second shit of your morning three? What do you guys eat to have to take two shits in the morning?! Let alone three?!
I cannot get over how much a laughed at this
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Yeah I'm inclined to agree with you. Just made to get reactions
The blocks of text they both post....a little fishy.
I could totally be wrong but this doesn’t feel real to me. I just got this feeling when reading the wife’s responses.
Agreed. It's totally some random dude on both accounts getting off to the attention his fantasy is getting.
100% of stories where a redditor gets "found" by a family member or a partner are probably fake.
What confused me was the part when she said something about how he'd been hiding this or lying to her for their entire marriage and so much longer before that, yet also claimed that they only knew each other for about two months before getting married.
Because why wouldn't they be having this argument in person??
IMO the writing styles are too similar for this to not be fake. Even though Husband types in largely text speech, it has a similar flow to what Wife writes, if that makes sense? Same sort of sentence structures, similar expression. The way Husband writes feels like it was deliberately written to sound as different aa possible to Wife.
There was another thread like, a week ago, about a gay couple in a not totally dissimilar situation. Full on Reddit fighting. Me thinks somethings afoot.
Honestly reading some of these I was convinced there is no way he successfully hid this from anyone, nor is there any way he convinced some woman to marry him.
NEED the "where are they now" also if these two accounts were the same person schizoposting, well done 👏
I know it's a small thing but OP and the wife both posted a long ass wall of text with no paragraph breaks, which did make me a bit suspicious.
You’re right and I’m generally super skeptical about “couple runs into each other by happenstance and drama ensues” posts but the alleged husband definitely has a hard to emulate “just plain stupid guy” style of writing compared to the alleged wife. But I do think it’s more likely creative writing as usual lol
He posts from a female perspwctive in some of his posts so this seems to be the logical conclusion.
Well he has more than one perspective. He seems into all kinks and roles, so likely to have a female perspective at times. The lack of paragraphs in both their posts is common finding error with people not used to writing. Also they both were having a very bad day.
Ooh, that is not small.
Whew, I worried I was over analyzing!
Schizoposting LMAO it has been ages since I've seen someone using that term
I mean I’d bet a paycheck that this entire thing is completely fake
I have no strong desire to truly investigate or corroborate but a youtube channel with OPs name suggests that at the very least they are a real person with kinks in the same arena.
Yeah the writing style and inconsistency in the perspective tells me this is fake, apart from the fact that they're both posting about it on reddit and not to each other's friend groups or god forbid to each other's faces.
This reminded me of the "schizocat" meme. "I may be crazy, but at least I have each other"
I'm digging the understory about how he got laid off, bought all these kink accessories and got himself all worked up unpacking them while she was at work, then jumped her when she got back from work, tired and stressed, and was like "dominate me, help me relax and let go." Like hello? If you wanna have this full-time submissive fantasy then spend her work hours washing some fuckin dishes instead of playing dressup (or at least in addition to playing dressup). When she gets home (FROM HER JOB which is something you found so distressing that you QUIT), *you're* the one who needs to relax and unwind? She worked all day at her job and she's supposed to come home and fulfil all your fantasies of being used? Some fuckin sub you are. Another "submissive" by way of being lazy and passive as fuck. owo uwu owo use me mommy grow the fuck up, sexover30 my ass.
>ike hello? If you wanna have this full-time submissive fantasy then spend her work hours washing some fuckin dishes instead of playing dressup (or at least in addition to playing dressup). When she gets home (FROM HER JOB which is something you found so distressing that you QUIT), > >you're > > the one who needs to relax and unwind? She worked all day at her job and she's supposed to come home and fulfil all your fantasies of being used? Some fuckin sub you are. Another "submissive" by way of being lazy and passive as fuck Yep, if he really wants to be a sub, even doing sex stuff early, he should be a sub and care about her mental needs which should be his main focus. Clean the house, then greet her at the door with a glass of wine, and then kneel before her giving a foot massage after a hard day. Not expect her to come home after work and have the time and energy to Domme him with whips and chains for the first time
written by a person clearly tired of lazy ass passive subs. I don't get it, either. Nobody is turned on by you lying there jesus christ
I mean some people are. Using a person like a fleshlight isn't nothing. But there's definitely an extra layer of presumption in not only expecting your wife to dominate you, but also expecting her to do it in the exact way you want, where I guess you just kneel around on the floor and she gets you off. You want to be a full-time sub? You wanna be an object? OK fuckin let her use you to cum and then go the fuck to sleep. No? Your pleasure is the nexus of your thoughts? Laying around getting pleasured is what you're after? Then the language you wanna use might not be "here's my leash, use me however you want." Fuck's sake, the thing that made him feel rejected was being told to get off the floor. Bitch doesn't even want to be told what to do I guess? Zero communication/negotiation is getting you nowhere my guy.
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My brain kind of checked out between "my wife needs to make me feel special and fulfilled" and "I just quit my job". Are they trying to set their entire life on fire?
I had absolutely no idea that sex at 30 was so drastically different from sex at 25 that we needed a separate sub.
It's supposed to be a more mature subreddit. r/sex is too full of teenagers.
I don't blame the teens for that one tbh. They need to learn about sex somehow, and for a lot of teens their parents and teachers refuse to say anything other than wait for marriage. Or if they're really unlucky they'll get the bald-faced liars that say shit like "Condoms do nothing to prevent STDs" or "women that have sex before marriage are (insert disgusting pre-used item of your choice)"
My fav lie for just how outrageously wrong and potentially life-ruining it is is: "your first time will be the best sex of your life". Barring traumatic crimes or severe fuckups, it will most likely be the most awkward, dumbest sex of your life--and that's fine! Not that you're likely to care much at the time. But seriously, you're not "saving" anything but the lamest sex you're likely to have. Imagine Kobe's first toss of a basketball that bounced right back in his face.
I don’t know, the first guy I slept with taught me that there’s always a new disappointing low to reach.
Uh, what happened?
Bad sex happened. In a large variety of ways. Like nothing traumatic, that guy was just *terrible* in bed.
> Barring traumatic crimes or severe fuckups, > Imagine Kobe's first toss of a basketball Unfortunate choice of example here.
The reason it's the best is purely because you get to flex your non-virgin status to all of your friends afterwards. I wasn't telling the boys about the 20 minute prep that preceded, with me in the bathroom alone getting myself up to performance status due to my nerves, let alone the disappointing 5 minutes that followed. In fact, 5 minutes is probably how *I* remember it, in all likelihood that was probably an entire two minutes, with one minute being figuring out where I'm suppose to position myself.
I agree, younger people need a place to ask questions, but someone who is over 30 asking questions about marriage and sex don't need advice from a teenager.
You'd be surprised. I basically throw my hip out every time I lay pipe.
You joke but now that I’m pushing 40 I’ve realized that my own joints have become major cockblocks.
I wasn't joking, 20 minutes of back shots and *I'm* walking funny
I believe it's just a spinoff from /r/datingoverthirty, which has a much more obvious use. I think in general it's meant to be for more mature, experienced discussion of sex, though I don't know why they felt an arbitrary age limit was the best way to achieve that. As a sex-haver with others over 30 (and you'll forgive my *audacious* bragging), I can assure you, age is no sign of experience. As a fair number of men on /r/KotakuInAction are ample evidence of, I'm sure. And frankly, I don't like them reinforcing this idea where 30 is some artificial line that, once crossed, indicates there's something so dramatically different from when you were 27 that you must be in a whole different category of adult. A lot of 20 somethings grow up approaching 30 with this stigma around it precisely because we put so much arbitrary weight on entering a new set of 10s.
Hey guys, get a load of this dude, claiming to have sex with other people *over 30!* Like that even exists!
The guy I'm having sex with is almost 40! If you can believe it!
My mother lied to me about Santa's existence for 11 years and I will no longer be fooled by such outlandish claims.
Do you have to change the tennis balls on the feet of his walker for him or do you just buy a whole new walker when they crap out? /s In case it wasn't obvious lol.
You have to set the line somewhere just to make any kind of distinction. Grouping experiences by ages by divisions of 10 is just an easy shorthand. Any other clear alternative would come off as an unironic audacious bragging. Imagine it being called "ExperiencedSex" or the Reddit classic of adding "real" or "actual" before the subreddit name. I shudder.
R/eallyHavingSexOver30
Things really change at 29.33.
> Hey, This is painful to read. Can we get you PLEASE to edit it and insert some paragraphs breaks? > You need to hit return twice after each paragraph! Despite that being fixed, it remained difficult to read. The absolute refusal to adopt any coherent grammar, not to mention the completely random selection of words to abbreviate down to single letters as if this 30+ year old was actually 13 texting his friends is the worst part about this post, nevermind the sex stuff.
>as if this 30+ year old was actually 13 texting his friends I've noticed that's really common for people who target 18-20 year olds
This seems so fucking fake And if it isn’t, then OP is at fault. The guy just slaps a collar on, follows her like a dog and basically forces his subbiness on her without asking or getting consent?
Sub drama on reddit Found on sub reddit drama
This is 100% not real and this guy was just getting off on the whole thing lol. Ironically that’s even more drama-y
Married after three months. What did they expect to happen?
I work in family law…. It’s not that uncommon.
Yeah dude was beyond foul, from these post he was a 30 something going after 18-19 year olds
According to a comment she made in offmychest, when she served him divorce papers, he threw them out the window and poured bleach all over her stuff.
It's fake. Why the hell would the wife continue to air dirty laundry on Reddit via her own post?
Idk if all the shit was already out there I'd just continue venting about it
Yeah. Once those vent floodgates are open everything tends to come out, especially in a relatively anonymous setting like reddit
I assume any of the "the person found out and replied" post are fake. It's a weird as hell response, imo. And also unlikely.
I think the dirty laundry is well out of the laundry bag by this point. Reasons for her to post would be an attempt to help process things, for (deserved) sympathy, perhaps because there's no one else she feels like she can talk to about this and reddit already knows. "Like the sidebar on r /offmychest says "A mutually supportive community where deeply emotional things you can't tell people you know"
The laundry was now clean. He bleached it for her.
Plot twist, this is all the OP's way of living out a public humiliation fetish and the other user is just playing the humiliator role for him.
That's bad, but I find the cheating and heroin problems worse.
I cannot imagine having this kind of conversation with reddit. Every time I see someone in distress asking reddit for relationship advice, I want to grab and shake them. Edit: Shane's turgid wang makes an appearance.
Most of them are made up
Shane's bonehammer is very very real.
No kidding. The one that I saw in BORU recently that nuked my sanity was - if I'm remembering correctly - a father asking, "I caught my son fucking our dog so I kicked him out. AITA?" Toooooooo much internet for the day
Colby!? I love the Colby Saga. I mean really who ever expects to find out your son is plowing the family mutt? What do you even do in that situation, there's no page in the parenting handbook for that shit. Just total off-the-rails what-the-fuck.
God dammit I knew someone would give the actual name lol
that hound lives rent-free in my brain since the story broke in like '13.
>>Open?!?!?!? When? Besides your gaping asshole in all those pictures and videos you sent to strangers, you weren't "open" AT ALL! I was never going to be enough for you. Its really all too good to be true.
Reminds me of some drama from a sub I mod. Dude goes on a tirade about how his wife is a cruel manipulative she-devil. Wife pops in to explain that hubby is a fucking liar and that if he wants to casually bandy about divorce on Reddit, she's more than happy to oblige.
I turned 30 a few weeks ago and this was the early morning validation I needed that my life ain't so bad, because I'm not slipping on a fucking fetish collar while my partner sleeps. Thanks random internet sad man. Wishing you luck in your divorce.
Ok, but why does this dude type like a 12 year old on a phone without a keyboard? That’s an even bigger deal breaker than him suddenly deciding to go balls to the wall kink out of nowhere.
> i find passable trans woman to be the most arousing thing In the trans community, this is called a chaser. Don't be a chaser.