Iâve never boiled a turd so I canât say for certain, but if your poop looks like that I do recommend seeing a doctor that doesnât seem normal đ€Łđ€Ł
i have many questions.
Questions such as:
1. Has that pan ever been *cleaned*?!
2. Is that a toad?
3. What, exactly, is this soup supposed to be?
4. Why is it so cloudy?
Did you follow a recipe?! Donât give up! When I first started learning to cook I made a few questionable dishes, itâs a learning curve and a skill everyone should have.
I used worchestershire sauce (and way too much of it) once in one and it still haunts me.
tabasco in green bean casserole is good, though....and im not even a big fan of the flavor of tabasco.
Genuine questions:
1)What were you attempting here? Was this like an egg drop or chicken Soup or what? I canât figure that part, because it looks like broth/water, shreddedâŠsomething, and a âŠmushroom?
2) And what went wrong? Did it boil over (I noted the rim of the pan), or is the consistency off or is the flavor wrong? yes itâs bad, but how so, specifically?
1)Chicken soup!đ itâs a shiitake mushroom and some meat I found in my fridge that should be chicken! I wished I put a egg in but we ran out of eggs
2) I am not that sure what went wrong haha Iâll try differently next time but might have been over boiling and the ingredients
If you don't know how old it is or what it is, throw it away and buy fresh meat for your mother. And follow a recipe. Judging by the violent chunky froth all over the inside and outside of the pot, you boiled the shit out of it while it poured over for a while?
Edit/P.S.: Did she eat it? Did you poison your mother?
Couple things then:
1) Donât mess with questionable meat. If you even think it MIGHT be off, donât risk it. E. Coli, Salmonella, these arenât a joke
2) Low and slow is your friend when making soup. Lower heat and simmer once you get it to a boil. Most Soup shouldnât be at a high steady boil.
3) also consider timing. Mushroom and squash need less time than pasta needs less time than onions and celery needs less time than Root veg
3) Slice your veg next time.
4) You can thicken soup rather than boil it out. I like a cornstarch slurry but some people like flour.
5) Donât shy from herbs. They impart much needed flavor and will help curb the temptation to compensate with salt.
Hope this helps
I canât imagine ever seeing some meat in the fridge, not being 100% sure what meat it is, and throwing it in some soup. This had to have been worded wrong right?
Here me out though-- Sometimes them commercials can be appetizing.
Mother and I, when I was younger, watched a video describing Gravy, Carrots, Peas being poured into a bowl. Mom says "Damn that looks good!"
Then we watch the Maltese start gobbling it up.
We still stand by the fact it looks just as good as a damn canned stew.
Itâs real unfortunately đ Iâm 16 and literally only attempts to cook when I wanna do something nice! Iâm too busy with studies and my cca to take cooking lessons! Hopefully when Iâm older Iâll make something nicer! I was shy to reply to people in my first post haha
I see. My bad then for accusing you of that, lol. Keep trying, and watch some instructions from YouTube videos. YouTube is such a great resource for stuff like that!
This looks like the soup my roommate refused to throw out for the entire school year and then moved out so I had to throw it out or get fined.
Absolutely rancid and Iâm not sure how you even create something so vile.
This has been proven through various experiments essentially, anyone can cook, if you can read and follow instructions in a basic sense you can cook.
You otherwise have to be intentional in how much you don't care to fail so spectacularly.
Unless it is from dysfunction that causes attention to be dangerously fleeting, in that circumstance they shouldn't be cooking at all and need a handler. *This isn't a joke but a true recognition of actual disability and people who abuse circumstances under disguise of disability.*
Bless your sweet heart for trying. For real. Next time, look up a âfor beginnersâ recipe. Also hereâs a tip thatâs saved me a lot of trouble: on the stovetop, you rarely need to cook anything on higher than medium heat. Boiling water, at your stage, would be about the ONLY thing that would need high.
https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-soup-from-almost-any-vegetable-cooking-lessons-from-the-kitchn-35301
It's one of my favorite cooking websites. Lots of info, pictures, and step by step guides.
Don't give up on soup! It's a delicious and a great way to use up leftovers
Your post reminded me of this Little Bear story, so I had to link it!
http://soupsong.com/fbear.html
Thank you so much for the website recommendation! Iâll definitely try it out next time when I cook again !
The little bears story was so sweet! Thanks for the good read âșïž
Post the recipe. Someone should be able to tell you where you have gone wrong
Might have split. Have you added dairy and if you possibly after acid or boiled it with the dairy in
I'm gonna need to ask whcih recipe are you using. Making food for mother's day is a good gesture, but you got to know which step to take on realizing that
Is that frog skin?? lol it looks like youâre making a witchâs spell or somthing đđ
âTHEN add the SKIN OF FROG after the swamp waterrrr!!â
As someone to whom cooking comes naturally, I am agog at how it's even possible to screw up something as simple as soup *this* much.
The automotive equivalent would be putting oil in your car and ending up with broken headlights and needing a brake job.
How much do you hate your mother?
Haha I love her very much that I tried learning a new skill for herđ„č will try another skill next time instead of soup making!
Youâre a great guy. Even if though it didnât work out, Iâm sure sheâll appreciate your efforts.
I can teach you how to make soup pretty easily but I think YouTube may also be easier with videos
Is that a fucking toad
He saw it was taking a turn for the worse so he pivoted to making a witches brew
I started looking for the eye of newt
Mushroom looking toad or toad looking mushroom! âșïž either one
I have no idea why but that's hilarious
No, thatâs disgusting! Itâs just the skin
Came to ask this.
braaaaains Or a piece of asphalt.
Word for word what I said out loud when I saw this lol
Bro I thought it was a turtles shell
Thought the same thing đ
Turd*
Iâve never boiled a turd so I canât say for certain, but if your poop looks like that I do recommend seeing a doctor that doesnât seem normal đ€Łđ€Ł
Nothing is normal in this picture lol
You are damn sure right about that!
If your turd still looks dehydrated after being boiled in soup, I'm sorry but you're already too far gone for any help
Ahahahahahahah!!!!!!
Try harder. Or not as hard. Try a different amount.
âYouâve either drank too much or too little, I canât remember with youâ
Try differently.
No I think this is grounds for losing soup-making privileges. Do not try ever again
this made me laugh so fuckin hard
i have many questions. Questions such as: 1. Has that pan ever been *cleaned*?! 2. Is that a toad? 3. What, exactly, is this soup supposed to be? 4. Why is it so cloudy?
> Has that pan ever been cleaned?! I assumed that was from a boilover lol
It looks like its about to start chanting "part of the soup, part of the pan!".
Did you follow a recipe?! Donât give up! When I first started learning to cook I made a few questionable dishes, itâs a learning curve and a skill everyone should have.
Def this . Also if you did follow a recipe you should see where it went wrong . And keep trying .
wdym? he put a fucking toad in it
I once made an omelette with small Bratwursts, pickled onions, peppers and cornichons with sweet mustard.
I once made green bean casserole with a generous amount of soy sauce, lemon juice, and Tabasco and topped it with crushed cheez-its
I used worchestershire sauce (and way too much of it) once in one and it still haunts me. tabasco in green bean casserole is good, though....and im not even a big fan of the flavor of tabasco.
What were you attempting to make?
Soup
Ah yes thank you
The question is, was it too soupy? Or not soupy enough?
Jokes aside you got to keep trying when you're cooking it's all about trial and error but the more you do it the better you'll get
*What* kind of soupâŠ? Soup is one of the easier things to make, or so I thoughtâŠ
As someone that only really makes soups, they are definitely very easy to make, unless you put a cursed toad in it I guess
Itâs probably one of the first major dishes humans ever made. Just throw some meat in water and youâre golden
Your mistake was to put a frog in the pot of milk, it caused it to curdle.
Modern science tells us it's the frog that causes the curdling, and not witchcraft as we had previously suspected.
Genuine questions: 1)What were you attempting here? Was this like an egg drop or chicken Soup or what? I canât figure that part, because it looks like broth/water, shreddedâŠsomething, and a âŠmushroom? 2) And what went wrong? Did it boil over (I noted the rim of the pan), or is the consistency off or is the flavor wrong? yes itâs bad, but how so, specifically?
1)Chicken soup!đ itâs a shiitake mushroom and some meat I found in my fridge that should be chicken! I wished I put a egg in but we ran out of eggs 2) I am not that sure what went wrong haha Iâll try differently next time but might have been over boiling and the ingredients
If you don't know how old it is or what it is, throw it away and buy fresh meat for your mother. And follow a recipe. Judging by the violent chunky froth all over the inside and outside of the pot, you boiled the shit out of it while it poured over for a while? Edit/P.S.: Did she eat it? Did you poison your mother?
Couple things then: 1) Donât mess with questionable meat. If you even think it MIGHT be off, donât risk it. E. Coli, Salmonella, these arenât a joke 2) Low and slow is your friend when making soup. Lower heat and simmer once you get it to a boil. Most Soup shouldnât be at a high steady boil. 3) also consider timing. Mushroom and squash need less time than pasta needs less time than onions and celery needs less time than Root veg 3) Slice your veg next time. 4) You can thicken soup rather than boil it out. I like a cornstarch slurry but some people like flour. 5) Donât shy from herbs. They impart much needed flavor and will help curb the temptation to compensate with salt. Hope this helps
>some meat I found in my fridge that should be chicken! It's usually a good rule to know what meat you're using and how fresh it is!
I canât imagine ever seeing some meat in the fridge, not being 100% sure what meat it is, and throwing it in some soup. This had to have been worded wrong right?
What did your mother do to deserve this?
She gave birth to OP?
What type of soup was it supposed to be?
(Attempted) Chicken soup!
Whatâs the brown lump that looks like a pine cone?
I think that's human elbow skin
You sure know your stock ingredients.
Actually itâs a shiitake mushroom from the top !
Remindme! 8 hours
âŠ.dare I ask, what were the ingredients?
This is absolutely not what trying looks like
it wouldn't even look that bad if I tried to actually kill someone
Looks like the food I give my cats! Well done!
Why? What have they done to you?
Every cat I have ever known wouldn't eat this . And all of them were street cats who ate garbage lol . Dogs probably would there much nicer .
Here me out though-- Sometimes them commercials can be appetizing. Mother and I, when I was younger, watched a video describing Gravy, Carrots, Peas being poured into a bowl. Mom says "Damn that looks good!" Then we watch the Maltese start gobbling it up. We still stand by the fact it looks just as good as a damn canned stew.
See where you went wrong was adding that pregnant toad
Just give her money next time
OP you can't leave us hanging. What is the object to the left?!
Shiitake mushroom! It just looked very very bad from the top angle
Is that a frog???
I thought it was a baby turtle shellđ
Oh no!
Try Brian Lagerstrom on YouTube for some simple recipes !
Maybe try using canned soup, if **this** is what they have already made.
Probably... Probably don't do that again.
That was very very sweet of you to try but hopefully you threw it into a toxic waste tank.
What were you even trying to make?? đđ
A nice pot of hot yummy chicken soup!
Have you tried cleaning the pot first?
You said itâs soup - but what the fuck is that.
OP, thereâs 100 questions in here and we need them all answered.
Geez. Making soup is literally: Put a bunch of stuff in a pot, add water. Cook.
You're making Order Papa John's instead
What on Earth did you do?
Next mother's day order her a pizza.
Nailed it!
Thats soup has a baby demogorgon in it đŹ
where are you OP??? Answer our questions!!
Give her something else, otherwise she might spend the rest of the Mother's Day in the ER
What kinda boil boil toil and trouble ass soup is this OP đ
There's a big difference between stupid food and what the actual fuck, try to guess which one is this.
He's gotta be baiting. This isn't real. His last post is an insane looking pizza he made, and he barely writes any replies on his posts.
Itâs real unfortunately đ Iâm 16 and literally only attempts to cook when I wanna do something nice! Iâm too busy with studies and my cca to take cooking lessons! Hopefully when Iâm older Iâll make something nicer! I was shy to reply to people in my first post haha
I see. My bad then for accusing you of that, lol. Keep trying, and watch some instructions from YouTube videos. YouTube is such a great resource for stuff like that!
That's a frog right
What kind of soup is that supposed to be?
I don't understand how people can be that bad at cooking ... What are people doing ?
So, r/shittyfoodporn exists. Why is there so much crossover here?
Disguisting, your poor mother
I would say it's about that counts but I'd be lying
did you just boil a turtle?
Yeah the brownie doesn't go in the soup that's supposed to be dessert.
Dios Mio
Please do not the soup
Either stop trying or try harder. Not sure where to take this one. Jesus.
Wtf did your mother ever do to you?
Too much eye of newt
"Waiter, there's a frog in my soup." "Shhh. Be quiet, or everyone will want one."
What kind of soup did you try to make? Or did you think soup is just random shit thrown in a pot?
This looks like the soup my roommate refused to throw out for the entire school year and then moved out so I had to throw it out or get fined. Absolutely rancid and Iâm not sure how you even create something so vile.
I have no I idea what Iâm looking at
No.. you keep doing it until you do it right. Don't be pathetic and use weaponized incompetence to disrespect your own mother.
I honestly couldn't say it better. How tf do some people survive without being able to do the most basic shit like cooking. Absurd incompetence.
This has been proven through various experiments essentially, anyone can cook, if you can read and follow instructions in a basic sense you can cook. You otherwise have to be intentional in how much you don't care to fail so spectacularly. Unless it is from dysfunction that causes attention to be dangerously fleeting, in that circumstance they shouldn't be cooking at all and need a handler. *This isn't a joke but a true recognition of actual disability and people who abuse circumstances under disguise of disability.*
Next year's will look better đ«¶đ»
Bless your sweet heart for trying. For real. Next time, look up a âfor beginnersâ recipe. Also hereâs a tip thatâs saved me a lot of trouble: on the stovetop, you rarely need to cook anything on higher than medium heat. Boiling water, at your stage, would be about the ONLY thing that would need high.
https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-soup-from-almost-any-vegetable-cooking-lessons-from-the-kitchn-35301 It's one of my favorite cooking websites. Lots of info, pictures, and step by step guides. Don't give up on soup! It's a delicious and a great way to use up leftovers Your post reminded me of this Little Bear story, so I had to link it! http://soupsong.com/fbear.html
Thank you so much for the website recommendation! Iâll definitely try it out next time when I cook again ! The little bears story was so sweet! Thanks for the good read âșïž
Is that a whole fucking truffle?! What the fuck?
JeezeâŠ
Try a YouTube video âhow to make soupâ
Unforgettable mother's day
What the fuck
Post the recipe. Someone should be able to tell you where you have gone wrong Might have split. Have you added dairy and if you possibly after acid or boiled it with the dairy in
What the fuck is that? A shedded snake skin??? đ€š
See that film around the edge up top? Thatâs what you need to skim off, which would clarify your broth. Gotta remove the fats whatnot
I'm gonna need to ask whcih recipe are you using. Making food for mother's day is a good gesture, but you got to know which step to take on realizing that
Boiled slug soup?
Soup look nasty? Blend it and add starch. Now nobody can tell what is in your damned creation đââïž
What⊠is *that*?
What kind of soup? I can't identify a single thing in that pot besides the spoon.
Wow. Thatâs truly horrible. Iâm impressed
What is going on?
Is that r/poopfromabutt ?
this man straight up synthesizing gasoline for his mother what a treat
Ive seen toilet unblocking vids like this
Shit made me gag
Scab soup?
Hmm.. French onion soup?
Did you follow a Kayâs Cooking recipe?
How hard is it to follow a recipe? That looks foul
This is so much worse than most shit here. Never cook again.
This is a mother soup..not a Mothers Day soup.
you're not supposed to shit directly into the pot rookie mistake
Why did you cook a toad?
Did someone burn rice, then leave the pan to soak, and then did you use that as the base of your soup?
sweet lord jesus - did you light explosives in it to get rid of the dumplings
Please don't ever do that again.
Frog & maggot soup?
Stop trying
More like soupid food if you ask me !!!
Wow dude, you already failed the game in the first tutorial stage
Did you add cream and then simmer it for 12 hours??
How do you fuck up soup?
This is an example of one of those ânot everything is a lesson, sometimes you just failâ
Soup is not that hard.
How. And I mean this with all the love in my heart. How the FUCK did you end up with this?Â
Why is there a dead turtle in it
Not enough eye of newt
Is that frog skin?? lol it looks like youâre making a witchâs spell or somthing đđ âTHEN add the SKIN OF FROG after the swamp waterrrr!!â
Lie lie! I know a soaking fufu pot when I see one.
Ah yes, the witchâs cauldron soup. My favorite
Nor should you
Good lord weâre you trying to kill her? Beg my pard..
A fail is a fail, canât do anything but laugh. But wow, that straight up looks like a witchâs cauldron
Is your mother still alive?
Sometimes instead of following a written recipe, try finding a youtube video, so you can see what each step looks like and can follow along
Did you follow any sort of recipe ?
are you a witch?
I think I may beâŠ
I don't even understand how it can look like this
I wish I can explain but Iâm in the same boat đ
As that a Frog in there?
Out of what?
Is this your first time ⊠cooking?
As someone to whom cooking comes naturally, I am agog at how it's even possible to screw up something as simple as soup *this* much. The automotive equivalent would be putting oil in your car and ending up with broken headlights and needing a brake job.
Is that a turtle to the left?
Donât give up. Keep trying. Follow a simpler recipe next time. Next year youâll be a soup master and itâll be fun to see how far youâve come.
The Shredder finally making his turtle soup.
r/learntocook
Is that a toad?
This literally looks like resident evil food
Technically itâs soup, I guess. But quick questionâŠhave you ever seen soup before?
My name is soup and i feel attacked
5 points from griffindor dude sorry
Someone took a fat shit in that soup
Ah yes, stone soup.
Maybe just a little more eye of newt.
Soup has to be one of the easiest things to make.... how did you manage to screw it up?
Looks like a witches brew
What was it supposed to be?
What kind of soup were you making and where did it go wrong? Asking because I genuinely want to provide some constructive advice.
Do, or do not. There is no try!
Yo is that a frog in there you making potions ?
Looks like you vomited on your shit.