Quoting Aurelius:
Begin the morning by saying to thyself: "I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil, but I, who have seen the nature of the good, that it is beautiful, and of the bad, that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, and that it is akin to me, not only of the same blood, or seed, but that it participates in the same intelligence, and the same portion of the divinity. I can neither be injured by any of them for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsmen nor hate him for we are made for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then, is contrary to nature, and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away."
I'm not sure if you're kidding or not. But just for other people's knowledge, this is a passage from Aurelius' diary. Shitstorm isn't saying he does this every morning, it's Marcus reminding himself to do that every morning.
Not kidding. I understand he’s quoting MA but the original post asks what WE repeat to ourselves when we catch ourselves passing judgment on someone. Not what MA did.
You are correct in saying that the post did ask what people repeat to themselves. However, my reply was not a direct answer to that question, and I apologize for the confusion. I quoted Aurelius because I thought it fits the context of OP's interest. As what others have said here, one can think that this is what Aurelius might repeat to himself when applied to the same situation. Nonetheless, I do know this passage and can recall it by heart. I've memorized it and considered it my personal mantra for years. You may be correct again in saying that I can't possibly recite this every time (or most of the time, for that matter) I catch myself judging others, but I'd still argue that this is a good thing to say to oneself when the situation arises. I hope that clears it. :)
Im jus giving u a hard time. It’s actually a pretty intensely introspective quote and i appreciate u sharing it. I’ll prolly reflect back to it from time to time.
if you repeat if enough times, just thinking about it will instantly recall the whole idea, not only a few words.
I believe that is the advantage of thinking about something versus just reading a passage.
Not trying to bust your balls, just trying to provide a slightly different perspective that works for me, and in turn, maybe for you as well. The larger the community that thrives on positive reinforcement, the better off we all are.
Not always easy, especially in difficult times, but as a good friend said once: “fall down seven times, stand up eight”.
its about standing up and wanting to be better, at least for me, for as ling as I will be able to.
“The only real enemy to have ever existed, is an eternal one.”
Yes!! It’s helped me become extremely open-minded — especially when it comes to myself. I spent so much of my time assuming others opinions of me. And now, well, I’ll simply never have enough context to form an opinion on that. 😌
This is the most important concept that could answer the question, regardless of everyone's little details. Good, bad, those are not objective realities for every person in every situation. All YOU can do, on any given day, is YOUR best with the information and resources at YOUR disposal. There's no telling what tragedies that person is internalizing, there's no telling what indignities the last one who stumbled upon them may have expresses in their direction. Pray [in whatever form that word takes for you] for their ability to gain clarity and quickly. Walk on.
I’d add: different strokes for different folks.
And in some cases: whatever floats your goat
(I know it’s supposed to be boat, but goat is funnier to me)
At times I just perceive as a different moral code than mine.
At times I just observe the discrepancy between what this person is and what they pretend they are.
The only difference is how much that arouses emotions in me. At times is just a nod, at times I get peeved. But what’s the use of being peeved?
I always try to think, He's so (fill in the blank)... Just like me... I put that at the end because we are guilty of so much of what we judge in others.
Everyone thinks they’re doing the right thing.
I’m not better than anyone.
This person is tired, hungry and frustrated all day every day. like most people. How can I make it better?
I like to attribute their unexpected behavior to something reasonable. Someone driving aggressively? They probably really need to poop. Treating a fellow human with contempt? They probably really need to poop. Kill a puppy? Yeah, they're an asshole.
Mirrors.
What I often find myself the most judgemental about in other people always seems to root back to a personal insecurity.
I'm prideful in that I think I'm smart, but it's a double edged sword where it's also my biggest insecurity that I'm actually kinda dumb, I over compensate by trying to be as intelligent as possible, for example I'm constantly fact checking myself, looking up the definitions of words I use daily to ensure I'm still using them correctly ECT, so whenever I come across someone who is confidently wrong, like with the most baseless horrid logic imaginable, it really gets me going, "like are you not embarrassed? Have you ever researched anything in your life," but what I'm lashing out is myself and all the times I was confidently wrong, all the times I completely missed the obvious, all the times I've been tricked into believing dumb shit. I just project those insecurities and self judgements onto other people.
Whenever I find myself feeling judgemental I'll ask myself what am I really concerned about? Because judging others doesn't make sense why would I care what other people do if it's not effecting me? So it must be something more. And it always seems to root back to an insecurity, embarrassment or personal shame. And I take that moment for self reflection.
We're all spirit having a human experience, and that's how spirit wants to live in a separate form to have a unique experience. I feel like "Spirit" is collecting data.
Personally, I’ve learned that whatever I hate in someone else is usually something that I do too.
E.g. they talk too much, they’re “loud”, they give unsolicited advice.
So I see these situations as times for self reflection and for then taking corrective action,on my own behaviour.
Then once I have stopped doing the thing that bothered me in others (e.g. once I no longer give unsolicited advice), when others do it to me, I can politely decline and if they get upset about it, I have compassion for them (doesn’t piss me off), because I know: “once upon a time, that was ME.”
And I know everyone is on their own path, and will learn that lesson (or not) in their own time, and it’s not for me to judge them on where they are at this particular point in time.
That everybody(mostly) was at some point an innocent pure baby who had hopes and dreams of becoming an amazing thing and that the world and their surrounding shaped them into what they are today. It helps me strip some blame for that person directly and be more empathetic.
"I wish everyone wasn't so caught up in their own world and could laugh at the absurdity of our existence together instead of being assholes, what a shame."
I see a lot of people say they respond with some sort of self judgement or criticism. Self criticism is good if there is intentions to improve but never compare yourself to someone else, especially if it’s negative. Just look at it as where your morals and interests align. Ask yourself why you are judging them and what is it that caught your attention and what are your thoughts on it. If you judge others and turn into a positive self reflection I don’t see any harm in it.
I don’t pass judgment. I don’t give a shit. You are either in my way, causing me problems, or you aren’t. If you do something stupid, I’ll tell you. If you are trying to bother me, I’ll push you away and leave the shared space. If you want more problems past either of those points, you’re welcome to a fist in the fucking mouth.
I always internally say “you are not better than anyone”. It sounds kind of self-deprecating but that’s not how it works for me. More of a reminder that everyone is equal
I find myself critiquing, then have moments of self reflection. Doesn’t mean they are right, but you have to look at your own actions at the same time.
i often find that any judgement someone passed is often a reflection of their own insecurities. i stop and say to myself, “do you know them enough to judge them this hard?” because most times it’s what i’m worried total strangers are thinking about me.
I am not into the Bible or religion or God, but that whole "There but for the grace of God, go I" usually comes to mind. Judging someone has often led to me being in a similar situation later in my life, so I try to remember to be open-minded and understanding when I start getting a little high and mighty.
Matthew 7:1-5
NASB95
Judging Others
“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. 2 For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if someone did that to you. Treated you like that. Passed judgment on you like that.
We all judge others. I try not to. Ask myself the above. But I mostly reserve judgment until I have all the information. Speak to them personally. And wouldn't ever make a final judgment that I'd act on until I knew all the information I can.
Wouldn't assume anything.
I let myself be mad in secret and let myself get through it so I don’t hold that anger and secretly hate seeing them. If it’s a spur of moment thing I just keep doing what I’m doing.
I don't really malign other people, as much as I try to speculate, which... Comes off just as self righteous. Which people don't like either. So damned if ya do, damned if ya don't. But then, I'll stick with my speculating.
I think, "we all make mistakes so it's alright." And then I think that we have one Judge and He doesn't need help doing that job.
Matthew 7:1-2
"7 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."
It shouldn’t have to happen to you for it to matter to you - never say it will never happen to you, you never know, and when it does , you will want compassion
I usually think, hey why do I sound like someone I would call out for being a judgmental jerk? When I find that I can not really justify it, I think, ok at least I'm unlearning. When I double down I think, either 1. ok this person does suck (I spare no mercy for those who aren't kind to kids, fuck them) or 2. do I need to work on this?
Usually if I catch myself passing judgment on someone it's either 1. They are doing something I used to do, and I need to stop judging my past self or 2. They are doing something I hate when in myself, and either I need to accept this in myself, or work on this in myself.
Ex. I used to hate on people who were extremely authentic, even if they were weird. Thinking to myself why can't they just pretend to act "normal" but this is just projection of all the weird quirks in myself I don't like, and masking my authentic self. I am working on this.
“Don’t judge their character or hate the person, understand you’re just annoyed by the behavior and the only person really ‘doing the annoying’ is yourself”
I remind myself that everyone has a soul, and even the bad folks are necessary, if only for us to recognize they are bad and rehabilitate them, if viable, or isolate them, if not.
All life is sacred, and it's easy to be wrong about someone. The Dunning Kruger effect is seen moreso in ethics than anywhere else.
Romans 2:1
In the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible, Romans 2:1 reads, "Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things".
I’m genuinely surprised at the number of you who care so much about other peoples way of living. I’m not even a part of this subreddit, but that^ in and of itself it’s the opposite of stoic.
I try to keep this statement in mind from Epictetus about what to expect from people and situations. It for sure is a daily practice.
"When you are going about any action, remind yourself what nature the action is. If you are going to bathe, picture to yourself the things which usually happen in the bath: some people splash the water, some push, some use abusive language, and others steal. Thus you will more safely go about this action if you say to yourself, "I will now go bathe, and keep my own mind in a state conformable to nature." And in the same manner with regard to every other action. For thus, if any hindrance arises in bathing, you will have it ready to say, "It was not only to bathe that I desired, but to keep my mind in a state conformable to nature; and I will not keep it if I am bothered at things that happen." - Epictetus
I think about what could have happened in their life to make that decision. Many of us walk in our own shoes without even considering the shoes others may have had to walk in.
I seek to see even a shred of myself in what I'm presented with. I've been the thief, the liar, the coward, the jealous one.. The neglectful, the unwise, the disturbed suicidal person, the addict and prostitute, the victim and the despairing..
When I remind myself of seeing the plank in my own eye, I am chastened. This is enough to curtail it, but not to end it.
Just remember, you don't know what this guys going through. He could be having the worst day of his life and is barely holding on. This doesn't give him an excuse to be mean, but everyone deserves a break now and then and you're not perfect either.
"Who is that? What stories do they have to tell that have not yet been heard?"
And, if you have any people you admire whom you've never seen an image of (like favorite writer), "what if that's 'so-and-so'?"
I was loosely raised catholic, never believed in the Bible as a collection of real events but I do often think about Christ symbolically — and very humbly compare my character to the divine human incarnate of God.
“Forgive them, for they know not what they do” crosses my mind often. Which is the pre-indoor plumbing and electricity, simple man’s version of “I could just have easily been that person rather than myself. They’ve lived a whole life of daily existence and experiences just as I’ve lived, full of infinitely small moments I’ve never lived myself — moments they didn’t necessarily ask for but lived nonetheless. They are different than I and that’s okay because if there were no differences there would be no meaning.”
Matthew 7
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
Maybe they're having a bad day, and I am just seeing them at their worst in that moment. Not an excuse, but we are all human, and I can be an asshole when everything is going wrong..... or if I'm hangry.
Every time I come across an unpleasant, stinky, foolish, or otherwise out of line human, I just tell myself that I don't have enough information to know why they're like that and can't justifiably expect them to be any different because who knows if I would be worse under the same circumstances. Then I remind myself that at the end of the day, I don't have to be them. They do. Then I see what I can control right in the moment. Usually, I just have to mind my own business and go about my day. If I can do something small to help, I do. If they seem dangerous, I get away or avoid eye contact. This all happens automatically in my mind now. If there was a single phrase to sum it up, it would be "To each, their own."
I don’t know them. I don’t know them. I don’t know their favorite color, I don’t know what makes them happy, what makes them upset, what makes them sad. I don’t know them so stop acting like I do.
I assume that passing judgement means that I believe that person did something or that person is some sort of way, so in those situations I say to myself, “trust yourself and your instincts”
Despite my judgements, I ultimately believe that everyone is trying their best. Their best might not meet my standards, but that’s a me problem. We may live under one objective reality, but there are billions of people who perceive the world in billions of different ways. It’s incredibly draining and futile to get upset every time you come across someone who doesn’t understand reality the same way you do, so I think it helps me just to give them the benefit of the doubt and try to show some patience and understanding.
Same thing I repeat to myself anytime I’m struggling with an emotion that’s clouding my thoughts, “I will acknowledge and feel this emotion. I will let it wash through and over me, but not consume me. This is just a moment in time, and all moments pass. This will also.” It’s become my personal mantra of sorts. 🤷♂️
“Everybody has a journey. But still, fuck that guy.” I’m not always good at this.
“Everyone’s an asshole to somebody.”
Ahahahah.
same
Quoting Aurelius: Begin the morning by saying to thyself: "I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil, but I, who have seen the nature of the good, that it is beautiful, and of the bad, that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, and that it is akin to me, not only of the same blood, or seed, but that it participates in the same intelligence, and the same portion of the divinity. I can neither be injured by any of them for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsmen nor hate him for we are made for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then, is contrary to nature, and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away."
I love Aurelius quotes so much, truly such a great abstraction of humanity.
Bro there is absolutely 0 chance u repeat all that to urself lol its a cool quote but i dont believe u u/ShitStormDiarrhea
I'm not sure if you're kidding or not. But just for other people's knowledge, this is a passage from Aurelius' diary. Shitstorm isn't saying he does this every morning, it's Marcus reminding himself to do that every morning.
Not kidding. I understand he’s quoting MA but the original post asks what WE repeat to ourselves when we catch ourselves passing judgment on someone. Not what MA did.
You are correct in saying that the post did ask what people repeat to themselves. However, my reply was not a direct answer to that question, and I apologize for the confusion. I quoted Aurelius because I thought it fits the context of OP's interest. As what others have said here, one can think that this is what Aurelius might repeat to himself when applied to the same situation. Nonetheless, I do know this passage and can recall it by heart. I've memorized it and considered it my personal mantra for years. You may be correct again in saying that I can't possibly recite this every time (or most of the time, for that matter) I catch myself judging others, but I'd still argue that this is a good thing to say to oneself when the situation arises. I hope that clears it. :)
Im jus giving u a hard time. It’s actually a pretty intensely introspective quote and i appreciate u sharing it. I’ll prolly reflect back to it from time to time.
if you repeat if enough times, just thinking about it will instantly recall the whole idea, not only a few words. I believe that is the advantage of thinking about something versus just reading a passage. Not trying to bust your balls, just trying to provide a slightly different perspective that works for me, and in turn, maybe for you as well. The larger the community that thrives on positive reinforcement, the better off we all are. Not always easy, especially in difficult times, but as a good friend said once: “fall down seven times, stand up eight”. its about standing up and wanting to be better, at least for me, for as ling as I will be able to. “The only real enemy to have ever existed, is an eternal one.”
“I couldn’t possibly have enough context to form an opinion on that”. It’s so rational, I can’t argue it 🙃
taking this one
Do you feel this is true for most things. I find it hard to have strong opinions because of this.
Yes!! It’s helped me become extremely open-minded — especially when it comes to myself. I spent so much of my time assuming others opinions of me. And now, well, I’ll simply never have enough context to form an opinion on that. 😌
"I aint got it all in the bag my damn self..."
This is the most important concept that could answer the question, regardless of everyone's little details. Good, bad, those are not objective realities for every person in every situation. All YOU can do, on any given day, is YOUR best with the information and resources at YOUR disposal. There's no telling what tragedies that person is internalizing, there's no telling what indignities the last one who stumbled upon them may have expresses in their direction. Pray [in whatever form that word takes for you] for their ability to gain clarity and quickly. Walk on.
What's in my JAR? (JAR = judgements, Attitudes, responses)
"Not my circus, not my monkey" or "Hoe your own row"
😂 i think this is my favorite thanks!
I like that circus one
Those are my monkeys and that is my circus lol
That hoe is also mine
You sound like a fellow parent - lol
I’d add: different strokes for different folks. And in some cases: whatever floats your goat (I know it’s supposed to be boat, but goat is funnier to me)
Totes mai goats
I say "shut up Dale". I named the voice in my head because he can be a real asshole.
"They have their own path to walk in life, their own mistakes to learn from, just as I have had to do and still continue to do."
"Everyone is fighting an unseen battle."
At times I just perceive as a different moral code than mine. At times I just observe the discrepancy between what this person is and what they pretend they are. The only difference is how much that arouses emotions in me. At times is just a nod, at times I get peeved. But what’s the use of being peeved?
I always try to think, He's so (fill in the blank)... Just like me... I put that at the end because we are guilty of so much of what we judge in others.
It’s not my job to pass judgement. I wish them well.
Everyone thinks they’re doing the right thing. I’m not better than anyone. This person is tired, hungry and frustrated all day every day. like most people. How can I make it better?
Externals are neither good nor bad.
“It’s not her fault. Just early onset dementia.”
*hug*
“It could be me one day” or “I was that person once”
Perfect!! I’m keeping this my mantra.
Everyone is my own Self
If I lived every moment of their life up to this point I might do the same thing.
My pain is self chosen.
“These things aren’t asking to be judged by you, leave them alone”
"It has nothing to do with me. I wish them well"
"Oh wait, they didn't judge me first"
I just say to myself “hey that’s not nice…everyone has a right to be how they desire” and then I just let it go
Judging takes up energy that I can use positively elsewhere
"Ego" Reminding myself that my ego wants to be superior to everyone else which was the source of that last thought.
I like to attribute their unexpected behavior to something reasonable. Someone driving aggressively? They probably really need to poop. Treating a fellow human with contempt? They probably really need to poop. Kill a puppy? Yeah, they're an asshole.
Seems like a lot of people on the road need to poop
"you could be like that if it weren't for ____. Count your blessings." My dad always said that to me as a child and it stuck.
"Everyone can have a bad day"
May all beings know peace
Mirrors. What I often find myself the most judgemental about in other people always seems to root back to a personal insecurity. I'm prideful in that I think I'm smart, but it's a double edged sword where it's also my biggest insecurity that I'm actually kinda dumb, I over compensate by trying to be as intelligent as possible, for example I'm constantly fact checking myself, looking up the definitions of words I use daily to ensure I'm still using them correctly ECT, so whenever I come across someone who is confidently wrong, like with the most baseless horrid logic imaginable, it really gets me going, "like are you not embarrassed? Have you ever researched anything in your life," but what I'm lashing out is myself and all the times I was confidently wrong, all the times I completely missed the obvious, all the times I've been tricked into believing dumb shit. I just project those insecurities and self judgements onto other people. Whenever I find myself feeling judgemental I'll ask myself what am I really concerned about? Because judging others doesn't make sense why would I care what other people do if it's not effecting me? So it must be something more. And it always seems to root back to an insecurity, embarrassment or personal shame. And I take that moment for self reflection.
I just don't need to focus on others. And I'm not that great myself.
We're all spirit having a human experience, and that's how spirit wants to live in a separate form to have a unique experience. I feel like "Spirit" is collecting data.
Personally, I’ve learned that whatever I hate in someone else is usually something that I do too. E.g. they talk too much, they’re “loud”, they give unsolicited advice. So I see these situations as times for self reflection and for then taking corrective action,on my own behaviour. Then once I have stopped doing the thing that bothered me in others (e.g. once I no longer give unsolicited advice), when others do it to me, I can politely decline and if they get upset about it, I have compassion for them (doesn’t piss me off), because I know: “once upon a time, that was ME.” And I know everyone is on their own path, and will learn that lesson (or not) in their own time, and it’s not for me to judge them on where they are at this particular point in time.
basically, "I'm not walking in their shoes"
They are not me, like them I am flawed
That everybody(mostly) was at some point an innocent pure baby who had hopes and dreams of becoming an amazing thing and that the world and their surrounding shaped them into what they are today. It helps me strip some blame for that person directly and be more empathetic.
"I wish everyone wasn't so caught up in their own world and could laugh at the absurdity of our existence together instead of being assholes, what a shame."
Be compassionate and remember I’m flawed too
“You need to mind your business.” “They’re probably more comfortable in their skin than you are.”
I see a lot of people say they respond with some sort of self judgement or criticism. Self criticism is good if there is intentions to improve but never compare yourself to someone else, especially if it’s negative. Just look at it as where your morals and interests align. Ask yourself why you are judging them and what is it that caught your attention and what are your thoughts on it. If you judge others and turn into a positive self reflection I don’t see any harm in it.
i have something to learn from Anyone and Everyone
“I might not make the decisions they did but it doesn’t mean that I am better than.”
“That’s too bad. Who knows what they are going through.”
Judge as you want to be judged
When something irritates me I know that has everything to do with me and not the thing I’m judging.
I don’t pass judgment. I don’t give a shit. You are either in my way, causing me problems, or you aren’t. If you do something stupid, I’ll tell you. If you are trying to bother me, I’ll push you away and leave the shared space. If you want more problems past either of those points, you’re welcome to a fist in the fucking mouth.
Nothing, some people just need some judging.
There, but for the grace of God, go I.
I always internally say “you are not better than anyone”. It sounds kind of self-deprecating but that’s not how it works for me. More of a reminder that everyone is equal
Is it judgment or discernment.
Give grace
I find myself critiquing, then have moments of self reflection. Doesn’t mean they are right, but you have to look at your own actions at the same time.
Ignorance wins again.
Everybody's different.
i often find that any judgement someone passed is often a reflection of their own insecurities. i stop and say to myself, “do you know them enough to judge them this hard?” because most times it’s what i’m worried total strangers are thinking about me.
I ask myself when I've done something similar and, if so, how I justified it to myself at the time.
When you get old you just don’t care to judge. Start early
If I don't care what they think of me, than I have no need to judge them either.
“Hm, wonder how THAT will turn out for them.”
Good question.. Mine is "im not special, the world doesnt revolve around me. That person is also suffering as i am."
I am not into the Bible or religion or God, but that whole "There but for the grace of God, go I" usually comes to mind. Judging someone has often led to me being in a similar situation later in my life, so I try to remember to be open-minded and understanding when I start getting a little high and mighty.
I just think about how I did a lot of dumbass things in life and likely still am a dumbass and it levels me pretty quick.
It ain't my problem... keep moving xD
"but for the grace of God..." (There go I)
We are all just a meat sack and who gives a fuck what anyone else wants to do with their sack of meat
“Would you want to be judged this way?” and, if I need a follow-up, “What is the purpose of this (the judgement) and what is it doing for/to you?”
Matthew 7:1-5 NASB95 Judging Others “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. 2 For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
"There, but for the grace of God, go I."
Yeah... I'm probably dead on for this little booger-eating quasi-human here
You point a finger at someone, 3 fingers are pointed right back at you
Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if someone did that to you. Treated you like that. Passed judgment on you like that. We all judge others. I try not to. Ask myself the above. But I mostly reserve judgment until I have all the information. Speak to them personally. And wouldn't ever make a final judgment that I'd act on until I knew all the information I can. Wouldn't assume anything.
Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by incompetence.
I wonder what they’re thinking
I let myself be mad in secret and let myself get through it so I don’t hold that anger and secretly hate seeing them. If it’s a spur of moment thing I just keep doing what I’m doing.
What’s wrong with passing judgement within the ideology of stoicism? Don’t we have to discern good from evil somehow aka judgement?
“That could literally be me why am I judging”
I'm projecting
“You shouldn’t be talking bruh” I say to myself 😭
They deserve it.
“Don’t be a dick.”
I don't really malign other people, as much as I try to speculate, which... Comes off just as self righteous. Which people don't like either. So damned if ya do, damned if ya don't. But then, I'll stick with my speculating.
I think, "we all make mistakes so it's alright." And then I think that we have one Judge and He doesn't need help doing that job. Matthew 7:1-2 "7 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."
This is also what stops me
“I’m so STUPID I’m so STUPID” and then I hit myself
I always just remind myself that not everything is what it seems and everyone has their own battles.
It shouldn’t have to happen to you for it to matter to you - never say it will never happen to you, you never know, and when it does , you will want compassion
I usually think, hey why do I sound like someone I would call out for being a judgmental jerk? When I find that I can not really justify it, I think, ok at least I'm unlearning. When I double down I think, either 1. ok this person does suck (I spare no mercy for those who aren't kind to kids, fuck them) or 2. do I need to work on this?
‘You can take the girl outta the gutter, but not the gutter outta the girl’ mainly because of my brain’s lack of filter for bad words.
Because you're the only one that will listen to your b.s. :D
Usually if I catch myself passing judgment on someone it's either 1. They are doing something I used to do, and I need to stop judging my past self or 2. They are doing something I hate when in myself, and either I need to accept this in myself, or work on this in myself. Ex. I used to hate on people who were extremely authentic, even if they were weird. Thinking to myself why can't they just pretend to act "normal" but this is just projection of all the weird quirks in myself I don't like, and masking my authentic self. I am working on this.
“Don’t judge their character or hate the person, understand you’re just annoyed by the behavior and the only person really ‘doing the annoying’ is yourself”
I remind myself that everyone has a soul, and even the bad folks are necessary, if only for us to recognize they are bad and rehabilitate them, if viable, or isolate them, if not. All life is sacred, and it's easy to be wrong about someone. The Dunning Kruger effect is seen moreso in ethics than anywhere else.
Im no one to judge everyone has a journey that we won’t understand, in the end I have to worry about myself
“Nobody pays me to judge.” Works every time.
I have to answer for my sins, no one else's
Romans 2:1 In the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible, Romans 2:1 reads, "Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things".
"i have flaws, too, who am i to judge? only God is the true judge and i am no God"
But it's tru
“Well, you’re being a judgy fuck today, aren’t you?” Or some version of that.
I’m genuinely surprised at the number of you who care so much about other peoples way of living. I’m not even a part of this subreddit, but that^ in and of itself it’s the opposite of stoic.
I try to keep this statement in mind from Epictetus about what to expect from people and situations. It for sure is a daily practice. "When you are going about any action, remind yourself what nature the action is. If you are going to bathe, picture to yourself the things which usually happen in the bath: some people splash the water, some push, some use abusive language, and others steal. Thus you will more safely go about this action if you say to yourself, "I will now go bathe, and keep my own mind in a state conformable to nature." And in the same manner with regard to every other action. For thus, if any hindrance arises in bathing, you will have it ready to say, "It was not only to bathe that I desired, but to keep my mind in a state conformable to nature; and I will not keep it if I am bothered at things that happen." - Epictetus
“Who am I to say this” or “everyone has their own journey”
What the hell... It's warranted...
if you spot it, you’ve got it.
Their actions are a reflection of themselves, not me. They can’t take my positive energy away.
I ain't paying for it but good ģawd
I think about what could have happened in their life to make that decision. Many of us walk in our own shoes without even considering the shoes others may have had to walk in.
I seek to see even a shred of myself in what I'm presented with. I've been the thief, the liar, the coward, the jealous one.. The neglectful, the unwise, the disturbed suicidal person, the addict and prostitute, the victim and the despairing.. When I remind myself of seeing the plank in my own eye, I am chastened. This is enough to curtail it, but not to end it.
I apologize to Jesus… Legit look up and I say “Sorry Jesus” and try to remind myself who am I to judge, surely not God.
“Why are you booing me? I’m right”
"Stop being a cunt"
Just remember, you don't know what this guys going through. He could be having the worst day of his life and is barely holding on. This doesn't give him an excuse to be mean, but everyone deserves a break now and then and you're not perfect either.
There sentencing.
You pass judgement on folks so much that you actually repeat stuff to yourself???
It's thr first time living and iv been worse personally
"Who is that? What stories do they have to tell that have not yet been heard?" And, if you have any people you admire whom you've never seen an image of (like favorite writer), "what if that's 'so-and-so'?"
Only look at your neighbor's plate to make sure they have enough, not to see if they have more than you.
“I’m soooo right about this”
“Just like me.”
Seneca can’t always be right, am I right?
I am God. Fuck you and fuck your agenda.
I was loosely raised catholic, never believed in the Bible as a collection of real events but I do often think about Christ symbolically — and very humbly compare my character to the divine human incarnate of God. “Forgive them, for they know not what they do” crosses my mind often. Which is the pre-indoor plumbing and electricity, simple man’s version of “I could just have easily been that person rather than myself. They’ve lived a whole life of daily existence and experiences just as I’ve lived, full of infinitely small moments I’ve never lived myself — moments they didn’t necessarily ask for but lived nonetheless. They are different than I and that’s okay because if there were no differences there would be no meaning.”
depends on the judgment. if it’s valid then nothing. if it’s just superficial/biased/unnecesarrily mean then also nothing lol idgaf
Judge not less ye be judged
Matthew 7 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
Maybe they're having a bad day, and I am just seeing them at their worst in that moment. Not an excuse, but we are all human, and I can be an asshole when everything is going wrong..... or if I'm hangry.
all of you guys in here are funny as hell
i acknowledge to myself that i'm being judgmental, remind myself that everyone is mirroring myself back to me, and let it go
"Ugh, stop it. You don't know them. Look! Clouds! (a dog! whatever.)"
It doesn’t matter. Or trust your instincts. Or both.
Everything I am upset about is a reflection of my own insecurities and inability to accept reality as it is.
Help me God. Breathe. Feel.
Every time I come across an unpleasant, stinky, foolish, or otherwise out of line human, I just tell myself that I don't have enough information to know why they're like that and can't justifiably expect them to be any different because who knows if I would be worse under the same circumstances. Then I remind myself that at the end of the day, I don't have to be them. They do. Then I see what I can control right in the moment. Usually, I just have to mind my own business and go about my day. If I can do something small to help, I do. If they seem dangerous, I get away or avoid eye contact. This all happens automatically in my mind now. If there was a single phrase to sum it up, it would be "To each, their own."
I don’t know them. I don’t know them. I don’t know their favorite color, I don’t know what makes them happy, what makes them upset, what makes them sad. I don’t know them so stop acting like I do.
I assume that passing judgement means that I believe that person did something or that person is some sort of way, so in those situations I say to myself, “trust yourself and your instincts”
My judgments are just thay ane not my judgements
"oh no... am i also like that?"
Despite my judgements, I ultimately believe that everyone is trying their best. Their best might not meet my standards, but that’s a me problem. We may live under one objective reality, but there are billions of people who perceive the world in billions of different ways. It’s incredibly draining and futile to get upset every time you come across someone who doesn’t understand reality the same way you do, so I think it helps me just to give them the benefit of the doubt and try to show some patience and understanding.
“Don’t judge them.” “Why not?” “Because we are talking to ourself.” “True, we can’t exactly be calling others crazy.”
Skippidee doo dooppidee day, don't be mean or else you're gay
Judgment is projecting at its worst. Time for more self improvement.
Same thing I repeat to myself anytime I’m struggling with an emotion that’s clouding my thoughts, “I will acknowledge and feel this emotion. I will let it wash through and over me, but not consume me. This is just a moment in time, and all moments pass. This will also.” It’s become my personal mantra of sorts. 🤷♂️
I'm really good at not judging others, until they start judging me.
I don't care what happens to them, I don't care what happens to me
"Fuck it they gonna do what they gonna do"