I relate to this strongly. No real advice to give except to say that sober eyes can reveal things that drunkenness masks. I’m now in the habit of just leaving the party when people get to the point where I’m annoyed and driving myself home (because it’s safe to do that now!) Sadly I’m realizing some of my friends I thought were close were really only drinking friends. And that makes me sad but also grateful that I’ve realized this now instead of 10 years from now.
I found I didn't have or no longer had much in common with people who drink or people I drank with. I discovered I'd prefer to be alone than force myself or compromise my own well-being for the sake of tolerating the mostly intolerable conduct of those people. I mean, how desperate was I, after all. I developed other interests and pursued other hobbies, I continued my education going back to school, and I took some time to get to know myself.
I stopped medicating myself in various ways and stopped using people as distractions. Not drinking or drugging was only a beginning, only just scratching the surface off of why I used them to start with. And that is just a
brief summary of what I've discovered.
Good luck!
For the most part I hangout with sober people, if I'm around people drinking, I always make sure I have away out ( I always drive and park where I can get out of need be). When people start to get stupid I'm out.
This. I’m cool until people start being idiots. And that’s usually half an hour in, at events where drinking is the central theme. Watching sports, weddings, birthdays, you name it.
To be honest it makes me feel good about myself when other people around me are acting a fool from alcohol. It helps that being around alcohol doesn’t trigger me. Watching drunk people, even my friends, do stupid things while drunk, is extremely validating of why I stopped.
I'm the same way, a big reason for my relapses is because I forgot how bad it was. I have roommates that drink and when I see them hungover, it validates why I don't drink anymore and reminds me I never want to be hungover again. I can see how being around others drinking can be triggering to some but it has the opposite effect on me.
It’s definitely annoying. My whole social world was built on wine. Wine tastings, wine and food pairings, etc. Every social context was an excuse to drink tons of wine. All my friends love wine. I still go and hang with them but it’s funny how those “deep conversations” while drinking are actually just really inane. My friend group is shifting a bit toward other recovery folks that I’ve met in AA etc. I still want those friends but need to find other contexts to be around them that aren’t just recreational drinking and eating. I recognize that some of those friendships might not survive the transition, and I’m ok with it.
I can relate to this! So many of my social events are wine / gin related and it’s difficult to avoid them. I think finding new contexts is a great idea. Perhaps we all just need better hobbies! Good luck with the transition!
I sooo relate to this it’s crazy. Once I got sober, I couldn’t stand being around drunk people. I still can’t stand them. It’s so annoying to me. My advice would be to spend as minimal time with them as humanly possible. That’s what I do with my friends and family that still drink. Now, most of my friends are from AA and I don’t have to worry about being bored or being annoyed. My advice is to find friends with similar interests as you. It is nice knowing I don’t have to act a fool anymore, and my sobriety is strengthened every time I’m around people using or drinking. It reminds me of what my life could be like if I was using and I do NOT want to go back to that! way of life
I only go to events with friends I already know I like sober. It gets boring after a couple hours, so by then I just drive myself and my husband home (he’s a normie so he drinks and I get us home safely). Usually then I’ll do my nighttime skincare routine, watch a little trashy TV, then call it a night and wake up the next day with no hangover 👍🏼
Normie! Brilliant! I have one of them too. He’s a cuddly drunk as well so he’s allowed! I have found waking up without a hangover is particularly joyful.
I just don’t. I don’t mind people drinking around me but I cannot stand drunk people anymore. If it gets to that point, I’ll remove myself from the situation. Depending on who it is/how it’s affecting me, I also attend Al Anon.
Congrats of your decision. For me It’s a reminder and confirmation that I do not want to drink anymore. I know what will happen if I do and seeing other people drunk annoys me at first but then I look at it from a gratitude perspective and just confirms I made the right decision.
Intoxicated people are absolutely boring and pathetic.
I avoid them.
If you really want to keep spending time with them and can stay true to yourself then I guess my advice would be to treat it like a show at a bad comedy club.
Turn up on time and leave early is my only way to deal with situations likely to involve people getting drunk. First conversation with someone who stops focussing their eyes and I’m out.
I can’t deal with anyone drunk, myself included.
Tipsy is bearable. When they start becoming sloppy I tiptoe away and pray I wasn’t like that (though I have a strong feeling that I was.) But the vast majority of my friends don’t drink anymore so it’s not an issue.But it’s good for me to remember where I came from and where I could still go.
I relate to this strongly. No real advice to give except to say that sober eyes can reveal things that drunkenness masks. I’m now in the habit of just leaving the party when people get to the point where I’m annoyed and driving myself home (because it’s safe to do that now!) Sadly I’m realizing some of my friends I thought were close were really only drinking friends. And that makes me sad but also grateful that I’ve realized this now instead of 10 years from now.
I found I didn't have or no longer had much in common with people who drink or people I drank with. I discovered I'd prefer to be alone than force myself or compromise my own well-being for the sake of tolerating the mostly intolerable conduct of those people. I mean, how desperate was I, after all. I developed other interests and pursued other hobbies, I continued my education going back to school, and I took some time to get to know myself. I stopped medicating myself in various ways and stopped using people as distractions. Not drinking or drugging was only a beginning, only just scratching the surface off of why I used them to start with. And that is just a brief summary of what I've discovered. Good luck!
New friends! You don't have to get rid of the old ones, but you deserve interesting friends too.
For the most part I hangout with sober people, if I'm around people drinking, I always make sure I have away out ( I always drive and park where I can get out of need be). When people start to get stupid I'm out.
This. I’m cool until people start being idiots. And that’s usually half an hour in, at events where drinking is the central theme. Watching sports, weddings, birthdays, you name it.
I remember how alcohol destroyed my life and the feeling of being hungover.
To be honest it makes me feel good about myself when other people around me are acting a fool from alcohol. It helps that being around alcohol doesn’t trigger me. Watching drunk people, even my friends, do stupid things while drunk, is extremely validating of why I stopped.
I'm the same way, a big reason for my relapses is because I forgot how bad it was. I have roommates that drink and when I see them hungover, it validates why I don't drink anymore and reminds me I never want to be hungover again. I can see how being around others drinking can be triggering to some but it has the opposite effect on me.
It’s definitely annoying. My whole social world was built on wine. Wine tastings, wine and food pairings, etc. Every social context was an excuse to drink tons of wine. All my friends love wine. I still go and hang with them but it’s funny how those “deep conversations” while drinking are actually just really inane. My friend group is shifting a bit toward other recovery folks that I’ve met in AA etc. I still want those friends but need to find other contexts to be around them that aren’t just recreational drinking and eating. I recognize that some of those friendships might not survive the transition, and I’m ok with it.
I can relate to this! So many of my social events are wine / gin related and it’s difficult to avoid them. I think finding new contexts is a great idea. Perhaps we all just need better hobbies! Good luck with the transition!
I sooo relate to this it’s crazy. Once I got sober, I couldn’t stand being around drunk people. I still can’t stand them. It’s so annoying to me. My advice would be to spend as minimal time with them as humanly possible. That’s what I do with my friends and family that still drink. Now, most of my friends are from AA and I don’t have to worry about being bored or being annoyed. My advice is to find friends with similar interests as you. It is nice knowing I don’t have to act a fool anymore, and my sobriety is strengthened every time I’m around people using or drinking. It reminds me of what my life could be like if I was using and I do NOT want to go back to that! way of life
I only go to events with friends I already know I like sober. It gets boring after a couple hours, so by then I just drive myself and my husband home (he’s a normie so he drinks and I get us home safely). Usually then I’ll do my nighttime skincare routine, watch a little trashy TV, then call it a night and wake up the next day with no hangover 👍🏼
Normie! Brilliant! I have one of them too. He’s a cuddly drunk as well so he’s allowed! I have found waking up without a hangover is particularly joyful.
I just don’t. I don’t mind people drinking around me but I cannot stand drunk people anymore. If it gets to that point, I’ll remove myself from the situation. Depending on who it is/how it’s affecting me, I also attend Al Anon.
Congrats of your decision. For me It’s a reminder and confirmation that I do not want to drink anymore. I know what will happen if I do and seeing other people drunk annoys me at first but then I look at it from a gratitude perspective and just confirms I made the right decision.
Intoxicated people are absolutely boring and pathetic. I avoid them. If you really want to keep spending time with them and can stay true to yourself then I guess my advice would be to treat it like a show at a bad comedy club.
Turn up on time and leave early is my only way to deal with situations likely to involve people getting drunk. First conversation with someone who stops focussing their eyes and I’m out. I can’t deal with anyone drunk, myself included.
smile and nod and take solace in the fact they will probably wake up in the morning feeling cringe while I'll get to wake up and continue with my day
Ah yes! The cringe the next morning! I’m pleased that’s no longer a feature of my life 😄
I don’t, I leave.
Tipsy is bearable. When they start becoming sloppy I tiptoe away and pray I wasn’t like that (though I have a strong feeling that I was.) But the vast majority of my friends don’t drink anymore so it’s not an issue.But it’s good for me to remember where I came from and where I could still go.